# FREE Today & Tomorrow 9/17 - 9/18 - No Irish Need Apply at Amazon



## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*FREE Today & Tomorrow September 17th & 18th at Amazon**



No Irish Need Apply
by Edward C. Patterson
Kindleboard Book Profile for No Irish Need Apply
Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.

No Irish Need Apply - has been selected as The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton, McClean, Va. There was over 100 attendees. No Irish Need Apply book read at a book reading using Amazon's Kindle DX by an American author.

*



*Winner of the RedAdept Annual Indie Award (2010)*

 

*Table of Contents

Chapter One: Communality
Chapter Two: The Kitchen God
Chapter Three: Latch Key
Chapter Four: Primordial Thought
Chapter Five: Confirmation Please
Chapter Six: Ports in a Storm
Chapter Seven: Unlatched
Chapter Eight: Dare
Chapter Nine: Prom Talk
Chapter Ten: Double-Dare
Chapter Eleven: Closet Reflections
Chapter Twelve: Stag
Chapter Thirteen: The Targets
Chapter Fourteen: Observations
Chapter Fifteen: The Grand Entrance
Chapter Sixteen: The Grand Exit
Chapter Seventeen: Moonless Night
Chapter Eighteen: Mrs. B's Dilemma
Chapter Nineteen: No Pillar of Salt
Chapter Twenty: How Things Appear in the Morning
Chapter Twenty-one: Pancakes
Chapter Twenty-two: Children, the Rain is Here*​
Here's a few pull-quotes from reviewers of No Irish Need Apply

"Mr. Patterson has created an incredible story by linking it with prejudices that happened earlier in the century. By using this analogy that many understand from their study of history, it allows the reader to see how modern day prejudice effects people in the same manner it did years ago." - Rainbow Reviews

"Mr. Patterson's ability to fully flesh out his cast is a truly rare and talented gift. I was immediately taken in by all his characters, at all times believing in and caring about their situations." - Timothy Mulder

"With this novel Mr. Patterson has reached my heart and soul. I had to fight back the tears as I read this tender, loving story about two young men fighting for and finding the love of their lives." - Mireille Reynes, Belgium

"It's as if the reader is sitting in the room, watching facial expressions and extending a hand to the character who needs it. This is more than just skilled writing, Patterson has been blessed with a gift of bringing real situations to life." - Esmerelda Luv

"Patterson offers hope to those finding themselves and their place in the world." - Todd Fonseca, TMBOA.com

"It's not often these days that you come across writing that possesses both the literary beauty of a classic poem with the depth and substance of a contemporary tale. A contemporary tale with told with the poetic beauty of the literary classics of the past." - Gregory Bernard Banks

"No Irish Need Apply is a brilliantly written novel most worthy to sit next to some of the greatest writers. It speaks from the very soul of the author to the soul of the reader." - Laurie Foston

Edward C. Patterson

Now also included in Oh, Dainty Triolet, http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003BEDVSU, an Omnibus of Patterson novellas.


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*I invite my fellow Kindleboarders to come and enjoy my best selling book (the little book that could ) now, for a limited time only on the Kindle $ .99 (NINETY-NINE Cents).*

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Sale on No Irish Need Apply will end on June 1, when it will return to it's everyday low price of $3.99.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

I just received a wonderful review of No Irish Need Apply from Lila Pinord, It's up on Amazon.com, but let me quote this last little snippet, because I'm so please with it:

"This book is written so well, so touching, as we explore love and devotion toward each other, that it pulls at out heartstrings. Everyone should read this book. This reader couldn't help but give it five stars - this story deserves it!"

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Recieved a wonderful new 5-star review for No Irish Need Apply yesterday from Laurie Foston.

I'm getting prepared for my trip to Virginia for the Book of the Month gig.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*No Irish Need Apply * is featured today at The Deepening World of Fiction. Link up, add a comment and rate the feature.

http://www.thedeepening.com/world-of-fiction/2009/06/04/no-irish-need-apply/

Thanks
Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Getting excited about my big reading event on June 15th at Booz Allen Hamilton. _*No Irish Need Apply * _ selected as Book of he Month for June. (Book of the month and author for May was Greg Maguire of_* Wicked * _ fame, so I'm walking behind a giant, and quite awe struck).

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Here's a snippet from No Irish Need Apply:

*Encouraged by the darkness and the dearth of traffic, and even more by the true feelings that Jack Daniels inflamed, they held hands, their fingers interlocked in a ten-digit embrace that only those in love can know. Twice they broke this stance. Once they heard a noise around a sumac encrusted fence. The source turned out to be a cat, which, if the moon shone they would have seen as a rather fierce tawny, whose arched back would have made them run for cover. But it was a moonless night, so they just reclasped in their ignorance and strode further down the road toward the highway beacons. The second time caused more anxiety. They unlatched. Four young men approached and, by the looks of them, they were far a-field of their own neighborhood. They bopped along listening to ipods, cigarette embers marking their places. These were African Americans - bro's from the Oranges, no doubt - never a good sign this late at night among the more affluent. But as it turned out, the men bopped by in peace, nary a wink or a nod at the two whitebread Irish Americans that worried whether they had escaped a pummeling from their more stupid cousins only to be trounced by an enemy from across the border. When the men passed without issue, Louis grasped Kevin's hand again. He felt ashamed that such anxious thoughts enflamed his mind, but he guessed he was his mother's son after all, and if he wasn't as he was, he might indeed hate himself more than he had for just the lessons taught from the cradle - lessons of No Irish Need Apply.*



Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

I guess that this is the best place to put a report on my recent reading event for No Irish Need Apply at Booz Allen Hamilton. Here's what I posted to the Gay and Lesbian Writers Readers group about the event and it's significance:

*"Hi all, just a note that I returned from McClean Va and the halls of Booz Allen Hamilton, where I was the guest speaker for their Diversity Reader Group on Monday, June 15th. They have quite an active Diversity program there. It was teleconferenced to 30 offices around the country.

I read from No Irish Need Apply, my little book that could, about two teens, who come out of the closet by going to their high-school prom together, and the reaction from their two widowed mothers. The work is dedicated to PFLAG and was selected as June Pride Selection of the Month. I then lead a discussion group on the book's themes and on Divesity in the gay community, which fortunately I am trained to do (I was the former Pink Czar of Diversity for Dun & Bradstreet, their Gay Poster Boy and the President of GLISN - The Gay & Lesbian Information Network).

The event was well received and I made that little history element by being the first American Author (gay or otherwise) to do a book reading from the Kindle DX (a fact which Amazon knows about, and they gave me some technical support). The event was recorded and I should have a CD in my hands shortly to which some author colleagues have already volunteered to get on line, at which time I'll plague everyone with a link.

Edward C. Patterson
www.dancaster.com" *


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

For a limited time only - 3 novels for less than the price of one:

*Bobby's Trace, No Irish Need Apply* and *Cutting the Cheese*, each only $ .99 - the original Sweet Triolet.

  

Edward C. Patterson


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

You've listed them in a couple of places in different orders.  In which order would you suggest that they be read?


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Thanks Susan. I would read them in this order: Bobby's Trace, No Irish Need Apply and Cutting the Cheese.

Thanks
Edwad C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

The 3 Novels No Irish Need Apply, Bobby's Trace and Cutting the Cheese form a Triptych and, when read together, compliment each other.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

I just bought No Irish. I guess I'm on an Ed kick!

L


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Leslie:

Yeah! My first sale of the day. I hope you like this one (short though it be). This is the one that has earned me the most money, because of that little gig down in Virginia in June, where the book was selected by Booz Allen Hamilton, along with three NT Times Bestsellers and a Pulitzer Prize winner (blush). And those authors also went to McLean and did a 2 hour session and reading. Except, Macqguire. I think they told me they couldn't afford his speaking rate. I wonder what Jones (the Pulitzer Prize winner) got? It made my honorarium (which they described as small and token) pale, but it was the most money (we're talking 4 figures) that anyone has ever paid me for a book.  

Enjoy it. Less tears (but some).

Ed Patetrson


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Way back when, when I got my first K1, I downloaded a sample of this book -- and then never read it. That was many Kindles and many samples ago and I kept saying, "Oh, I should go back" but I didn't...until this morning. And then I started reading this book at lunch, took a break, started reading again at 3 pm (promising myself I would quit at 3:30) and I didn't stop reading until I was done. So...!

I love gay coming-of-age stories and this is right up there with *Geography Club* and *Out of the Pocket*. In fact, I think it might be better the GC and on a par with OOP.

For some weird reason I thought it took place in the fifties, but it doesn't -- it's contemporary and the kids have iPods and computers. The widowed mothers were oddly old-fashioned and Louise didn't entirely ring true for me. But she doesn't have too much page space so I was able to mostly ignore the parts that were bugging me about her.

Ed, I do have to say, I think you hit your stride at about the 50% point of the book (which is why I just kept reading this afternoon). I think if you went back and looked at the first half with a really critical eye, you'd find parts that could be polished and move this from very good to great. As it is, though, I'd still give it 4.5 stars -- definitely worth reading.

L


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Thank you Leslie:

In fact, the three novellas that make up this pack, *No Irish Need Apply*, *Cutting the Cheese * and *Bobby's Trace * will be republished, perhaps next year under one cover under a Triptych title. I mean to do some heavy polishing of some elements for that release. One thing all authors learn - a work is never finished. You publish it at "some point" when you feel it will have impact and is of high quality. The problem is, as you write, you mature and your style evolves, and you learn many things. When you look back at earlier works, you sometimes say: "Gee, I could have . . . what if . . . Wow, I missed the boat there." Fortunately in the eBook, Kindle and POD world we are in now - changes are cost free and reissues can be made with revisions with hrdly a ripple in the logistics. These little cluster of books (The three) and especially No Irish Need Apply (which I nicknamed the little book that could, because it is the engine that has pulled all the other works), will move to greatness once I pull them into a single volume and might even add a fourth tale to make a second purchase more worthwhile.

Thanks
Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

I have a sign published in 1915 with the Jim Crow slogan No Irish Need Apply. I used in a seminar I taught on Homosexuality in the Workplace, I would surprise my students because they thought Jim Crow was just a Black American South thing. I would then run a movie clip of Matthew Shepherd funeral with the Reverend Phelps and his Church harassing the mourning. Jim Crow. Yes, but the novel is about how Jim Crow effect the children, and these teens defy the odds.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

No Irish Need Apply is my first book to top the 300 sales mark. That's why I call it, The Little Book that Could.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

No Irish Need Apply was featured today on Lee Wind's blog:

http://www.leewind.org/2009/09/no-irish-need-apply.html

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

I big thank you to all my readers for embracing this work and pushing it beyond the 300 mark.

Ed Patterson


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## TiffanyTurner (Jun 8, 2009)

Wow! Really enjoyed reading this book Edward. It was a real delve into the teen mind as it comes out of the closet. I've posted two reviews on it already. Looking forward to reading another one of your books, The Jade Owl. That description has been intriguing me as well. Keep up the writing. Great thing about being an Indie Author is finding out about all these great authors on the Kindle board and on Amazon.com. It's a new world of edgy fiction that you won't find in the average book store.


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Thank you Tiffany. You have made my day. One of the benefits of being a Indie author is I can swim with my readers and enjoy the waters.  

Thanks again,
Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

I invite everyone to read the wonderful 5-star review of _*No Irish Need Apply * _ (my little book that could) by Kindleboard member Tiffany Turner:

http://tinyurl.com/yao4gds

Thank you Tiffany. My day is made.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

_*No Irish Need Apply*_ was the first book in American to have a public reading using a Kindle DX. June 15th 2009 in McLean, Va.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*No Iish Need Apply* began life (like it's two companion novellas, *Cutting the Cheese * and *Bobby's Trace*) as a one-act Play (unproduced) called In the _Eyes of the Species_ in 1999.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

The subtitle of No Irish Need Apply is *A Widow's Dilemma*.

ed Patterson


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## Guest (Oct 22, 2009)

Nice trailer. Without even having read the book, I get an idea of the feeling. The music works well. 


Fine job!


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Thanks Suelange

Ed P


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

No Irish Need Apply is my bestseller.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

If no one has ever heard of PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbians), let me tell you - this is a loving, supportive orgnization. That's why No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to it.

Ed Patterson


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## Lynn McNamee (Jan 8, 2009)

Reviewed today on my blog:


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Thank you, RedAdept.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

_*No Irish Need Apply*_ was the first novel in America, read by an American Author using a Kindle DX at a public reading. (Just 2 days after the DX was released). At Booz Allen Hamilton's Diversity Book Group, June 15th, 2:30 pm in McLean, VA - the reader , of course, was some feller named Ed Patterson

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Here's a snippet from *No Irish Need Apply*. Measuring the closet, from the chapter called_ Dare_.

"Closets can be measured in various ways. Some are wide and walled with thorns, while others are narrow and restricted with girdles. No matter the size or scope, all closets are dank, keeping their prisoners wreathed in mendacity. Louis' closet was wide and thorny. He had become accustomed to its borders and knew the door was transparent. He was sometimes shucked through the edges and creamed like corn under a hateful boot and a wicked taunt, but he knew the contour of life beyond the borders. He ignored the fundamental arrogance that grew in his own backyard. That was Louis' closet.

Kevin's closet was narrow and restricted. Other than the shadow in the hallway at Union Municipal, his closet was bordered by a drawn window shade and a parent proof door. It had a physicality he could well define, but it defied the dankness. To him, now that his love had been consummated within his bedroom arbor, just a whiff from the Hollyhocks, Kevin lost sight of the lie that was forming within these four walls. His fears subsided when Louis entered this new world. He knew that when the lock was twisted and they reemerged into the living room that the secrets would be locked away again.

Louis had his secret down pat. He was careful not to raise suspicions at home. Louise never questioned her son's lack of girl interest, or his occasional bruise, or the hidden box of condoms stuck beneath his tube socks at the back of his top drawer. Louise was misted by her grief and daunted by the business of makin' ends meet. She managed to pay the rent from the Prom account, but was forever apologizing to Louis for touchin' the green that was meant for the angels. Still, Louise was rarely home now - now that Min needed an extra hand in the kitchen since Mum's death. Louise could have used that extra cash boost, but you know No Irish Need Apply. Sally Ann Poltowski was asked to help with short order (along with a nice raise). This silver lining did give Louise a stay of execution and double work (and more tips). These career concerns kept Louise even further from the borders of Louis' closet. Louis felt that if Louise had known he was gay (they say all parents know on some level), she would have run to the Palisades and tossed herself over the edge. It would be the Catholic thing to do, after all - the Good Book that paved one's way to heaven, condemned Louis to the hell-fire for his misguided love. Repent! Confess! Auto de Fe! If he had been listening to the Gayly folk, he would have heard that organized crime members, pedophile priests and a Borgia Pope or three made it safely to the Pearly Gates with no more than a tsk tsk tsk for their confessed, exonerated sins. **** . . . well, No *** Need Apply. No, Louise would never know about her son. Louis swore that such knowledge would be the end of her and the end of him and perhaps then end of the Universe. You could look into Louis' closet and see the prisoner within, reach in and give him a whack (as a public service), still leaving him in the bubble that defined his path; at least until he met Kevin."

Enjoy

Edwrd C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

A Happy Holiday weeend for my *No Irish Need Apply * readers.


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

The real star of this novel is not the two tennagers, but the mama, *Sarah Borden*. What does a mother do when her son comes out of the closet. The subtitle of this book is A Mom's Dilemma.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

"Childen, children . . . the rain is coming."

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

NINA is still my biggest signle seller. 

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Merry Christmas from Kevin, Louis, Sarah and Louise

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Young men have urges and sometimes . . . 

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Kevin Borden has a secret and when he shares it, all hell breaks loose.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Again I want to thank the many readers of this book. I call it my little book "that could." Lightning in a bottle.

Thanks
Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Morning in the Borden housde is always fun . . . get yourself a batch of pancakes and chat a while.  

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

"I have a brand new pair of roller skates . . ."

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

No Irish Need Apply is the first book to have a public reading using a Kindle DX (June 15th, 2009), a few days after reelease date (of the DX, that is), when it became the June Book of the Month for Booz Allen Hamilton's Diversity Reading Group. The reading was down by ME at their HQ in MacClean VA and elecast to their 30 offices globally.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Soon, _No Irish Need Apply _ will be appearing in an Omnibus edition with my two other novellas, under the title O, Dainty Triolet.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

When I was lecturing on diversity for Dun & Bradstreet, I would speak about Jim Crow laws and would always hold up an authenitc No Irish Need Apply sign from 1915.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

from No Irish Need Apply:

"Closets can be measured in various ways. Some are wide and walled with thorns, while others are narrow and restricted with girdles. No matter the size or scope, all closets are dank, keeping their prisoners wreathed in mendacity. Louis' closet was wide and thorny. He had become accustomed to its borders and knew the door was transparent. He was sometimes shucked through the edges and creamed like corn under a hateful boot and a wicked taunt, but he knew the contour of life beyond the borders. He ignored the fundamental arrogance that grew in his own backyard. That was Louis' closet.

Kevin's closet was narrow and restricted. Other than the shadow in the hallway at Union Municipal, his closet was bordered by a drawn window shade and a parent proof door. It had a physicality he could well define, but it defied the dankness. To him, now that his love had been consummated within his bedroom arbor, just a whiff from the hollyhocks, Kevin lost sight of the lie that was forming within these four walls. His fears subsided when Louis entered this new world. He knew that when the lock was twisted and they reemerged into the living room that the secrets would be locked away again."

How big is your sloet?

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Revision (2010) of this little book has just been released.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Here's a few pull-quotes from reviewers of No Irish Need Apply

"Mr. Patterson has created an incredible story by linking it with prejudices that happened earlier in the century. By using this analogy that many understand from their study of history, it allows the reader to see how modern day prejudice effects people in the same manner it did years ago." - Rainbow Reviews

"Mr. Patterson's ability to fully flesh out his cast is a truly rare and talented gift. I was immediately taken in by all his characters, at all times believing in and caring about their situations." - Timothy Mulder

"With this novel Mr. Patterson has reached my heart and soul. I had to fight back the tears as I read this tender, loving story about two young men fighting for and finding the love of their lives." - Mireille Reynes, Belgium

"It's as if the reader is sitting in the room, watching facial expressions and extending a hand to the character who needs it. This is more than just skilled writing, Patterson has been blessed with a gift of bringing real situations to life." - Esmerelda Luv

"Patterson offers hope to those finding themselves and their place in the world." - Todd Fonseca, TMBOA.com

"It's not often these days that you come across writing that possesses both the literary beauty of a classic poem with the depth and substance of a contemporary tale. A contemporary tale with told with the poetic beauty of the literary classics of the past." - Gregory Bernard Banks

"No Irish Need Apply is a brilliantly written novel most worthy to sit next to some of the greatest writers. It speaks from the very soul of the author to the soul of the reader." - Laurie Foston


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

I have in my possession an original 1915 "No Irish Need Apply" Jim Crow sign.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Thought I would add as an update the Table of Contents to _No Irish Need Apply_, both here and to the OP.

*Table of Contents

Chapter One: Communality
Chapter Two: The Kitchen God
Chapter Three: Latch Key
Chapter Four: Primordial Thought
Chapter Five: Confirmation Please
Chapter Six: Ports in a Storm
Chapter Seven: Unlatched
Chapter Eight: Dare
Chapter Nine: Prom Talk
Chapter Ten: Double-Dare
Chapter Eleven: Closet Reflections
Chapter Twelve: Stag
Chapter Thirteen: The Targets
Chapter Fourteen: Observations
Chapter Fifteen: The Grand Entrance
Chapter Sixteen: The Grand Exit
Chapter Seventeen: Moonless Night
Chapter Eighteen: Mrs. B's Dilemma
Chapter Nineteen: No Pillar of Salt
Chapter Twenty: How Things Appear in the Morning
Chapter Twenty-one: Pancakes
Chapter Twenty-two: Children, the Rain is Here*​
Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

My biggest hit. Come join the fans.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

No Irish Need Apply is part of the three for one sale this week: see below

*For this week only April 8 thru April 15th (Tax day)

Three books for the price of One

Get Oh, Dainty Triolet for $ .99 that is

Cutting the Cheese
Bobby's Trace
No Irish Need Apply

in one volume - for the price of one.
at Smashwords
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/10899 
use Discount code LA82Y upon check out and
Enjoy.*​
Ed P


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Did I tell everyone that this book was selected June 2009 Book of th Month by Booz, Allan Hamilton's diversity reading group? I have? Oh, sorry. Forget I mentioned it. (I wish the IRS would).  

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Come join Louis Lonnegan in his moment of triump:

Moonless Night from _No Irish Need Apply_

_Yes, Lord God. Yes, yes._

That was Louis Lonnegan's mantra. His feet sprang away from the school as if he were a novice liberated from years of scornful penitence.

The schoolyard was pitch black, but he didn't care. He had his love at his side, a man who had committed himself full contract when he stood up to that Mott bitch and swung and missed. He swung and missed. Isn't that rich. He missed, but connected on the chin of that dumb ass that stood behind her like a troll.

_How dumb was he? _

He could have bashed them to a bloody pulp if it weren't for the wicked witch's need to control the evil pleasure she sought. She wanted to see the emotional hurt - the suffering, and then the crash before her eyes. She would have spit full gammy on both their gay asses before the evening was out. But Kevin stood up to her, and probably would have been pummeled for his defiance, and then again for his gayness, if it weren't for Branch McPherson, their Robin Hood in the forest - be that forest Sherwood or Arden, it tallied to the same wonderful end - young Louis was free of the place he hated and fled across the moonless schoolyard with his committed love.

They were both breathless by the time they reached the street. Louis hoped that Kevin had a sense of direction, because he hadn't a notion which way was home; and home was now wherever Kevin slept . . . stood . . . breathed even. They stopped to catch a breath. The bottle was opened and passed. The first swigs were harsh; the taste of schoolboys trying their first swallow of rotgut, but this soon subsided to the giggles. They walked beneath the invisible maples and elms, street after street melting beneath their feet - feet that grew weary as the bottle's content transferred from its merry flask to the increasing jollity of two mischievous boys.

Encouraged by the darkness and the dearth of traffic, and even more by the true feelings that Jack Daniels inflamed, they held hands, their fingers interlocked in a ten-digit embrace that only those in love can know. Twice they broke this stance. Once they heard a noise around a sumac encrusted fence. The source turned out to be a cat, which, if the moon shone they would have seen as a rather fierce tawny, whose arched back would have made them run for cover. But it was a moonless night, so they just reclasped in their ignorance and strode further down the road toward the highway beacons. The second time caused more anxiety. They unlatched. Four young men approached and, by the looks of them, they were far a-field of their own neighborhood. They bopped along listening to a boom box, cigarette embers marking their places. These were African Americans - bro's from the Oranges, no doubt - never a good sign this late at night among the more affluent. But as it turned out, the men bopped by in peace, nary a wink or a nod at the two white bread Irish Americans who worried whether they had escaped a pummeling from their more stupid cousins only to be trounced by an enemy from across the border. When the men passed without issue, Louis grasped Kevin's hand again. He felt ashamed that such anxious thoughts enflamed his mind, but he guessed he was his mother's son after all, and if he wasn't as he was, he might indeed hate himself more than he had for just the lessons taught from the cradle - lessons of No Irish Need Apply.

The bottle passed until Louis sucked on a drizzle of fume. His gait was uneven and, if Kevin was more so, they would have never found their way back to Kenilworth Gardens. As it was, Louis recognized nothing along the shadowy suburban drives that winked by his eyes. It was a haze now, but even so, he had reached the pinnacle of joy. Someone in this world loved him beyond the obligation of a mother's love. He tightened his hold on Kevin's hand. He didn't need to say the words. He felt the pulse through every fiber of his arm, along those nerveways that piped directly to the heart. He would sleep tonight. He would sleep forever. Louis Lonnegan had attained his life's goal. If he had gazed to those black heavens and saw his father sidled beside Harold Borden in that lucrative poker game; if he had heard his father's curse of disapproval, he wouldn't have cared. After all, any man dumb ass enough to drink cheap vermouth and tumble into the bowels of a grease pit was in no position to pass judgment on him.

"We're here," Kevin said. He took the empty bottle and gently laid it beneath the boxwoods. "That shit sure had kick."

Louis seconded the motion by nearly falling into the boxwoods. Kevin giggled, extricating him from the outer branches.

"Shhh. Let's not wake up Ma."

Louis managed to stand, or rather slump on Kevin's shoulder. They negotiated the stoop stairs. Mid-climb, Louis gazed toward the heavens - to that inky, moonless abode where the card players shook their heads with approbation. Louis sneered, and then flipped the dead fogies the finger. His journey was complete.


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

In _No Irish Need Apply _ I try to capture a parent's point of view of the coming out experience. That's why I dedicated it to PFLAG.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

No Irish Need Apply
124 pages
Kevin Borden has a new study mate and is taking heat from the rest of the school for it, because there are rumours about this guy - this Louis Lonegan. But teens will do the darndest things, which put them in the crosshairs and presents challenges for their widowed mothers. No Irish Need Apply takes a close to the bone view of the actual emergence from the closet - the pain, but also the importance. Dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), this fast moving book was selected Book of the Month (June 2009) by Booz Allen Hamilton's Diversity reader group.

Here's what the reviewers say about No Irish Need Apply

"Mr. Patterson has created an incredible story by linking it with prejudices that happened earlier in the century. By using this analogy that many understand from their study of history, it allows the reader to see how modern day prejudice effects people in the same manner it did years ago." - Rainbow Reviews

"Mr. Patterson's ability to fully flesh out his cast is a truly rare and talented gift. I was immediately taken in by all his characters, at all times believing in and caring about their situations." - Timothy Mulder

"With this novel Mr. Patterson has reached my heart and soul. I had to fight back the tears as I read this tender, loving story about two young men fighting for and finding the love of their lives." - Mireille Reynes, Belgium

"It's as if the reader is sitting in the room, watching facial expressions and extending a hand to the character who needs it. This is more than just skilled writing, Patterson has been blessed with a gift of bringing real situations to life." - Esmerelda Luv

"Patterson offers hope to those finding themselves and their place in the world." - Todd Fonseca, TMBOA.com

"It's not often these days that you come across writing that possesses both the literary beauty of a classic poem with the depth and substance of a contemporary tale. A contemporary tale with told with the poetic beauty of the literary classics of the past." - Gregory Bernard Banks

"No Irish Need Apply is a brilliantly written novel most worthy to sit next to some of the greatest writers. It speaks from the very soul of the author to the soul of the reader." - Laurie Foston

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This is a nice beach read. Don't get sand in your kindle (and after my little How-to book, my best seller).

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

The two boys in this story were inspired by two teens I knew in Gay rap sessions not the singing - that other kind).  

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

There are "Coming Out" stories and there are  "Coming Out" stories, but few get ground level with the characters as this one, letting you feel the pain and the liberation that two teenagers experience when they decide that honesty is the best, if not dangerous, policy.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

I used *No Irish Need Apply signage * in my seminar of Homophobia in the Workplace, when I was in full consultant mode. I toted around a whole collection of Jim Crow signs then.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Of my novels, this one has sold the best - and lso made me some cash honors.  

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

There are many coming out stories, but in crafting this one I decie\ded to do it from ground level — the contous of the process as it operates on the family level. Although it is an emotional roller-coaster, there is an honest joy about the work.

Edward C. Pattersonb


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

It's been a years since No Irish Need Apply was named June Book of the Month by Booz Allen Hamilton Diversity Reading group, and the book is still the little runaway train that has been, after 2 and a half years. 



Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This is the perfect beach read, because I say so.   and I'm agreeing with others. As for myself, I usually don't go to the beach, because I look awful in a bathing suit. So I go nude and use my Kindle as a fig leaf.,   

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Travel back to the 1990's when coming out was a bit more scary than today.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

With 770 readers, this is my best selling novel.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

One No Irish sold a day, keeps the potato famine away.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Kevin Borden has a new study mate and is taking heat from the rest of the school for it, because there are rumours about this guy - this Louis Lonegan. But teens will do the darndest things, which put them in the crosshairs and presents challenges for their widowed mothers. No Irish Need Apply takes a close to the bone view of the actual emergence from the closet - the pain, but also the importance. Dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), this fast moving book was selected Book of the Month (June 2009) by Booz Allen Hamilton's Diversity reader group.

Life in the New Jersey suburbs just got a little bit more interesting when parents need to face the truth that their children face. It's a case of practicing what we preach and eradicating the old signs on the door that bar the free-living from living free.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

There are "Coming Out" stories and there are "Coming Out" stories, but few get ground level with the characters as this one, letting you feel the pain and the liberation that two teenagers experience when they decide that honesty is the best, if not dangerous, policy.

*No Irish Need Apply*
124 pages $ .99 on the Kindle
Kevin Borden has a new study mate and is taking heat from the rest of the school for it, because there are rumours about this guy - this Louis Lonegan. But teens will do the darndest things, which put them in the crosshairs and presents challenges for their widowed mothers. No Irish Need Apply takes a close to the bone view of the actual emergence from the closet - the pain, but also the importance. Dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), this fast moving book was selected Book of the Month (June 2009) by Booz Allen Hamilton's Diversity reader group.

Life in the New Jersey suburbs just got a little bit more interesting when parents need to face the truth that their children face. It's a case of practicing what we preach and eradicating the old signs on the door that bar the free-living from living free.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Coming out is hard. Being gay is not achoice. Facing it truthfully is a cary business. I hope to comvey this in this hot novella. 

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

It ain't easy being green


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## Guest (Aug 31, 2010)

Whats up Ed.  Where are the Jade Owl Threads?  I'm looking for them.  Oh well I'll find them sooner or later!


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

The Jade Owl thread is here:

http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,6223.0.html

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

The star of this novels is a mother. Could be any mother with the same issue to face. 

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Here's a short excerpt from mid-book:

Yes, Lord God. Yes, yes.

That was Louis Lonnegan’s mantra. His feet sprang away from the school as if he were a novice liberated from years of scornful penitence. The schoolyard was pitch black, but he didn’t care. He had his love at his side, a man who had committed himself full contract when he stood up to that Mott bitch and swung and missed. He swung and missed. Isn’t that rich. He missed, but connected on the chin of that dumb ass that stood behind her like a troll. 

How dumb was he? 

He could have bashed them to a bloody pulp if it weren’t for the wicked witch’s need to control the evil pleasure she sought. She wanted to see the emotional hurt — the suffering, and then the crash before her eyes. She would have spit full gammy on both their gay asses before the evening was out. But Kevin stood up to her, and probably would have been pummeled for his defiance, and then again for his gayness, if it weren’t for Branch McPherson, their Robin Hood in the forest — be that forest Sherwood or Arden, it tallied to the same wonderful end — young Louis was free of the place he hated and fled across the moonless schoolyard with his committed love.
They were both breathless by the time they reached the street. Louis hoped that Kevin had a sense of direction, because he hadn’t a notion which way was home; and home was now wherever Kevin slept . . . stood . . . breathed even. They stopped to catch a breath. The bottle was opened and passed. The first swigs were harsh; the taste of schoolboys trying their first swallow of rotgut, but this soon subsided to the giggles. They walked beneath the invisible maples and elms, street after street melting beneath their feet — feet that grew weary as the bottle’s content transferred from its merry flask to the increasing jollity of two mischievous boys. 

Encouraged by the darkness and the dearth of traffic, and even more by the true feelings that Jack Daniels inflamed, they held hands, their fingers interlocked in a ten-digit embrace that only those in love can know. Twice they broke this stance. Once they heard a noise around a sumac encrusted fence. The source turned out to be a cat, which, if the moon shone they would have seen as a rather fierce tawny, whose arched back would have made them run for cover. But it was a moonless night, so they just reclasped in their ignorance and strode further down the road toward the highway beacons. The second time caused more anxiety. They unlatched. Four young men approached and, by the looks of them, they were far a-field of their own neighborhood. They bopped along listening to a boom box, cigarette embers marking their places. These were African Americans — bro’s from the Oranges, no doubt — never a good sign this late at night among the more affluent. But as it turned out, the men bopped by in peace, nary a wink or a nod at the two white bread Irish Americans who worried whether they had escaped a pummeling from their more stupid cousins only to be trounced by an enemy from across the border. When the men passed without issue, Louis grasped Kevin’s hand again. He felt ashamed that such anxious thoughts enflamed his mind, but he guessed he was his mother’s son after all, and if he wasn’t as he was, he might indeed hate himself more than he had for just the lessons taught from the cradle — lessons of No Irish Need Apply.


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Wow! Ed Patterson's best selling Book. Yes sirree.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2010)

Edward C. Patterson said:


> Wow! Ed Patterson's best selling Book. Yes sirree.
> 
> Edward C. Patterson


Your a bestseller in my book!


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Teens do the darndest things, esepcaiily when following their heart.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This novel was originally entiled _*In the Eye of the Species*_; however after I had given a lecture on coming out and homohobia and used a JIM CROW sign as part of my lecture, I decided to rename the book after the 1915 sign - HELP WANTED: NO IRISH NEED APPLY. I was reminded also of similar signs in the Soth for drinkiing fountains and a famous British sign in Shang-hai's Bund Park that read NO DOGS OR CHINESE ALLOWED.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

I wrote this book as a testament to the anxiety of teenagers in the closet and the very real pressures to both stay in and come out. Seldom has a book made a bigger impression for those wanting a ground level perspective on prejudice.

_*NO IRISH NEED APPLY * _ (124 pages) - 2009 June Book of the Month at Booz, Allen Hamilton Diversity Reading Club
"I find this story very compelling and a must read for anyone who doesn't understand how bigotry can effect people." - Rainbow Reviews

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widowed mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made hate clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.

The sweet clarion call of a young soul coming out and leaving a life of lies is at the heart of human rights and personal freedom.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This story is as much about the mother's as the teens.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*Kindleboard Book Profile for No Irish Need Apply*


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

When I did a reading of this work for Booz Allen Hamilton's Diversity Reading Group, I gave a dramatic reading and particularly excelled in the part of Sarah Borden. You had to be there.  

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

No Irish Need Apply was inspired by a tale told to me when I first came out of the closet. There are many coming out Novels on the market, but I wanted one that rang true and could help parents come to terms with the event.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This is my little train that could. After three years, a day doesn't go by when someone picks up a copy. My most successful fiction work.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

An excerpt from _*No Irish Need Apply*_

Closets can be measured in various ways. Some are wide and walled with thorns, while others are narrow and restricted with girdles. No matter the size or scope, all closets are dank, keeping their prisoners wreathed in mendacity. Louis' closet was wide and thorny. He had become accustomed to its borders and knew the door was transparent. He was sometimes shucked through the edges and creamed like corn under a hateful boot and a wicked taunt, but he knew the contour of life beyond the borders. He ignored the fundamental arrogance that grew in his own backyard. That was Louis' closet.

Kevin's closet was narrow and restricted. Other than the shadow in the hallway at Union Municipal, his closet was bordered by a drawn window shade and a parent proof door. It had a physicality he could well define, but it defied the dankness. To him, now that his love had been consummated within his bedroom arbor, just a whiff from the hollyhocks, Kevin lost sight of the lie that was forming within these four walls. His fears subsided when Louis entered this new world. He knew that when the lock was twisted and they reemerged into the living room that the secrets would be locked away again.

Louis had his secret down pat. He was careful not to raise suspicions at home. Louise never questioned her son's lack of girl interest, or his occasional bruise, or the hidden box of condoms stuck beneath his tube socks at the back of his top drawer. Louise was misted by her grief and daunted by the business of makin' ends meet. She managed to pay the rent from the Prom account, but was forever apologizing to Louis for touchin' the green that was meant for the angels. Still, Louise was rarely home now - now that Min needed an extra hand in the kitchen since Mum's death. Louise could have used that extra cash, but you know No Irish Need Apply. Sally Ann Poltowski was asked to help with short order (along with a nice raise). This silver lining did give Louise a stay of execution and double work (and more tips).

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

_*No Irish Need Apply * _ still remains my best selling novel.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

The original title for this novel was _In the Eyes of the Specie_, a line used by one of the characters. As a title, it was too Darwinian, so I went for the theme.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Happy holidays from Kevin, Louis, Sarah and Louise (the Bordens and the Lonnegans)

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Still at $ .99.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Dana Taylor (Jan 8, 2010)

Congrats on the Award! I haven't read this one, but after finishing two of your other works, I'm sure this award is well-deserved!

Dana Taylor


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Dana Taylor said:


> Congrats on the Award! I haven't read this one, but after finishing two of your other works, I'm sure this award is well-deserved!
> 
> Dana Taylor


Thank you, Dana. I'm not a big one for Award, but Red Adept's is prestigeous IMHO, because she is a critical reviewer, well balanced and rfeflect reader's taste.

Thanks again

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This could be any household in America — anybody's son. And they come to you and tell you they are gay. Can they do it? Will they do it? See it from ground leel.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Here's the opening paragraph to *No Irish Need Apply*:

On the surface, the Bordens and the Lonnegans had little in common, except that they were families limited to two souls each - a son and his mother, both widowed and both Irish - not off the boat Irish, but second and third generation. Perhaps Louise Lonnegan was more Irish than Sarah Borden, because she had married a Waterfordman, while Sarah landed an acquaintance of an acquaintance, Harold Borden, who was a mongrel breed of Brit, Dutch and Lenni Lanape, a typical New Jersey mixture. What the Waterfordman and Harold Borden held in common were grave plots just a mile from each other, and although these men never met when they coursed this earth, their souls might have sidled up to heaven's table for a close to the chest game of poker and a mug of sulfurous suds. It's difficult to say what ties we manage when the box is lowered and the dirt she do roll over.


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Teenagers are a species unto themselves, as Sarah Borden soon learns.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

We're coming up to the thrid anniversary of _*No Irish Need Apply's * _ publication date. Yippee. Almost time for a promotional celebration. (1,138 copies in circulation)

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

High School life was rough in the 90's. It was even rougher in the 60's for a gay guy, let me tell you.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Here's a love story for Valentine's Day.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Here's an excerpt from _*No Irish Need Apply*_:

Yes. Kevin was fascinated by this new study mate and began to look beyond his nose. He might not have fallen into the lake, but that prospect frightened him. This wasn't calculus or Post-Revolutionary American History. This was rocking the boat on his pristine lake. Although it excited him on one level, it scared him shitless on another. He swam in Louis' thoughts, but also in Louis' eyes. When Kevin stared into those dark marbles, as he did that day in the living room, he felt a confusion that would not go away. Yet, those eyes persisted. He couldn't shake them, even when Louis had finished their study, two more glasses of lemonade and a double helping of Sarah's spaghetti in mushroom sauce.

Louis survived the pesky probes of Sarah Borden. When she asked about Louise and learned she was a waitress, she regaled him with stories of waitressing, which, of course, she had done at one point in her life, although Kevin couldn't recall it. It may have been a week at some charity kitchen or a few days after school (ancient history). Still, Sarah knew the weight of each plate, the pain of sore feet and the eternal barking of the short order cook (in this case a pirate named Diogenes, who cut the ketchup with water and pressed the Moussaka with Hamburger Helper). Louis survived Sarah - even thrived, which worried Kevin. Few of his friends liked Sarah. They found her picky, fussy and too much like their own mothers. Louis indulged her - no. He surpassed indulgence. He encouraged her; and for his pains, he received a standing invitation for supper. It was like passing GO and collecting $200. It amazed Kevin. Now, when he gazed into Louis' eyes and felt the taboo compulsion that pressed him into the shadows and kissed away his frown, he saw his mother standing in the wings with a plate of spaghetti in one hand and a glass of lemonade in the other. It was too much like going steady in a world that wouldn't permit it. Hell, Kevin wouldn't permit it.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Sometimes from the mouth of babes we are both chastised and reborn.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

High School life in Linden NJ is pretty swell, especa\ially at Prom time.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Let's hear it for the Irish.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

After writing big epic Chinese novels, this little slice of domesticity proved a pleasant amd rumunerative break.  

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

There are many stories about the coming out process, but you can't truly write about it unless you've done it yourself. Few events short of child birth are more painful. Few events short of child birth are more joyous.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Excerpt from _*No Irish Need Apply*_

Yes. Kevin was fascinated by this new study mate and began to look beyond his nose. He might not have fallen into the lake, but that prospect frightened him. This wasn't calculus or Post-Revolutionary American History. This was rocking the boat on his pristine lake. Although it excited him on one level, it scared him shitless on another. He swam in Louis' thoughts, but also in Louis' eyes. When Kevin stared into those dark marbles, as he did that day in the living room, he felt a confusion that would not go away. Yet, those eyes persisted. He couldn't shake them, even when Louis had finished their study, two more glasses of lemonade and a double helping of Sarah's spaghetti in mushroom sauce.

Louis survived the pesky probes of Sarah Borden. When she asked about Louise and learned she was a waitress, she regaled him with stories of waitressing, which, of course, she had done at one point in her life, although Kevin couldn't recall it. It may have been a week at some charity kitchen or a few days after school (ancient history). Still, Sarah knew the weight of each plate, the pain of sore feet and the eternal barking of the short order cook (in this case a pirate named Diogenes, who cut the ketchup with water and pressed the Moussaka with Hamburger Helper). Louis survived Sarah - even thrived, which worried Kevin. Few of his friends liked Sarah. They found her picky, fussy and too much like their own mothers. Louis indulged her - no. He surpassed indulgence. He encouraged her; and for his pains, he received a standing invitation for supper. It was like passing GO and collecting $200. It amazed Kevin. Now, when he gazed into Louis' eyes and felt the taboo compulsion that pressed him into the shadows and kissed away his frown, he saw his mother standing in the wings with a plate of spaghetti in one hand and a glass of lemonade in the other. It was too much like going steady in a world that wouldn't permit it. Hell, Kevin wouldn't permit it.


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Still my best selling novel in the US, now the UK is waking up to it. Thanks all.  

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Rainng where I am today. It reminds of the rains — the cleansing rain in No Irish Need Apply.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

It's a beautiful Spring day for a nice picnic and a seat under the tree with your Kindle and _*No Irish Need Apply*_.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

from the author of The Jade Owl, Surviving an American Gulag and Look Away Silence
NO IRISH NEED APPLY
124 pages

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widowed mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made hate clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn. 

"A brave, thoughtful, and moving novel, Patterson dedicates his work to the Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) organization." - Todd Fonseca

Here's an excerpt from No Irish Need Apply:

Yes. Kevin was fascinated by this new study mate and began to look beyond his nose. He might not have fallen into the lake, but that prospect frightened him. This wasn’t calculus or Post-Revolutionary American History. This was rocking the boat on his pristine lake. Although it excited him on one level, it scared him on another. He swam in Louis’ thoughts, but also in Louis’ eyes. When Kevin stared into those dark marbles, as he did that day in the living room, he felt a confusion that would not go away. Yet, those eyes persisted.  He couldn’t shake them, even when Louis had finished their study, two more glasses of lemonade and a double helping of Sarah’s spaghetti in mushroom sauce. 

Louis survived the pesky probes of Sarah Borden. When she asked about Louise and learned she was a waitress, she regaled him with stories of waitressing, which, of course, she had done at one point in her life, although Kevin couldn’t recall it. It may have been a week at some charity kitchen or a few days after school (ancient history). Still, Sarah knew the weight of each plate, the pain of sore feet and the eternal barking of the short order cook (in this case a pirate named Diogenes, who cut the ketchup with water and pressed the Moussaka with Hamburger Helper). Louis survived Sarah — even thrived, which worried Kevin. Few of his friends liked Sarah. They found her picky, fussy and too much like their own mothers. Louis indulged her — no. He surpassed indulgence. He encouraged her; and for his pains, he received a standing invitation for supper. It was like passing GO and collecting $200. It amazed Kevin. Now, when he gazed into Louis’ eyes and felt the taboo compulsion that pressed him into the shadows and kissed away his frown, he saw his mother standing in the wings with a plate of spaghetti in one hand and a glass of lemonade in the other. It was too much like going steady in a world that wouldn’t permit it. Hell, Kevin wouldn’t permit it.


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

In New Jersey during the early 90's, two teenager boys fall in love and sloppily out of the closet. They soon learn that some places are not as scary as they through thought, while others are infinitely more difficult. Of course, they decide to come out in a big way - some might say a knucklebrain manner, but their love is destined to carry them through life and relationship and wiowed mothers and friends, because they decide to eschew the lie.  No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), and won the 2009 Best Book of the Month - June 2009 awarded by the Diversity Greading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton. Only 123 pages, this fast paced novella should top your list for summer reads.

Thanks you,
Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This one is now selling well in the UK.  

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Finding the way to the closet door.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

How do you teach children that all people are equal but different? Or is it somethat can be taught?

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

My Second Published Book, and best selling novel.

Eward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

The Third Member of the Triptych is Love.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This one is selling like hot cakes in the UK.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

FREE Coupon available for the July Summer sale at Smashwords. http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/93

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Still on sale.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Week 3 of the Smashword summer FREE sale.

http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/EdwardCPatterson for list of books. For this one use code SSWSF for FREE copy.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Coming into the stretch on the Smashword's Sale on this book (FREE).

http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/EdwardCPatterson for list of books. For this one use code SSWSF for FREE copy.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Here's an excerpt:

Sarah opened the front door as if she were a tour guide at a heritage home. Louis Lonnegan stood mystified in the doorway. He matched Kevin in tone and manner, although his darker complexion and his tousled black hair made him appear lonely — lost in the space between the threshold and the lintel. 

“Mrs. Borden?” he asked. “I’m Louis Lonnegan. Is Kevin at home?”  

“Come in, Louis,” she said in almost singsong. “Kevin’s told me that you like to be called Louis.”
  
Louis entered keeping one eye on the lady of the house and another on the homey living room. This was a far cry from his poor dwelling over Mrs. Larimer’s on Apple Street. 

“Well, that’s my name,” he said. 

“Of course it is. Glad to meet you.”
  
Sarah extended her hand, which Louis touched as if it were a banister in some narrow, dark place — more a touchstone than a ladies’ glove holder. Kevin jumped to rescue Louis before the full treatment took effect. 

“Let’s get started,” he said. “We’ve lots of ground to cover.”  

“Not yet,” Sarah said. “Let’s chat. Sit down, Louis. You know, there’s nothing like a little chat on a busy day to relax and unwind. Please sit.” 

“Ma, we need to start studying.”  

“Plenty of time for that,” Sarah said. 

She led Louis to the sofa’s edge, where he wedged in between the Martha Stewarts and the cushion cracks. Sarah watched Kevin as he resumed his place in the chair of the house. That sauce needed a stir, so this little interlude was sure to be a quick ride. 
“So, Louis, do you live near here?”  

“Linden,” he said, looking about the room at the collection of bric-a-brac. “About two miles.”  

“How nice,” Sarah said. “You live with your Mom and Dad?”  

“Ma,” Kevin protested.  

Louis smiled. 

“No, that’s okay, Kevin. Just me Ma since me Da left . . .”  

“Divorced?”  

“Not quite.”  

“I’m sorry,” Sarah said. “Divorces can be so hard on the children. Kevin’s father is gone also, but he’s . . . gone gone.”

She pointed to a picture on the coffee table.  

“Dead?” Louis asked.  

“In other words,” she said. “But we’ve managed quite well. He’s been gone gone for two years now.”

Silence. Louis gazed at Harold’s picture. He possibly sensed the same sadness that overwhelmed his own mother. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Me Da’s . . . gone gone too. Two years is about right.” 

Louis’ eyes met Sarah’s. There was a kinship there already. Kevin squirmed in the crossfire.

Edward C. Patterson
author of No Irish Need Apply


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

If you still a beach read, this is the one.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

The teens in _*No Irish Need Apply * _ are like many teens today - precocious, explorative and scared as hell.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

How many of my readers have ridden on a cruel, cruel school bus?

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

If you want to read all three novellas - _*Cutting the Cheese*_, _*No Irish Need Apply * _ and _*Bobby's Trace * _ in one neat volume, they are available in _*Oh, Dainty Triolet*_.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Mrs. Borden's growing child has just took another step as a growing pain.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Here's an excerpt (words in parens are Bowdlerized)
Union Municipal High was an old school with long corridors and odd nooks and gray spots, places where anyone with ingenuity could step into the shadows and smoke, or cop a feel in anticipation of an evening date or even pass off the answers from the last period’s Social Studies test to the next period’s wave of friends. It was an architectural wonder and, although the Board of Education had proposed many plans to raze the place and build a new, clean bright one-story structure replacement, the taxpayers somehow preferred . . . the shadows. Thus, the old halls prevailed. So when Bruce Dee and Wes Butterman drifted between homeroom and mid-period Spanish, they were not surprised to see two classmates clutching in an alcove in a fitful kiss. Bruce halted, holding Wes back. They chuckled; perhaps they were even envious of the lucky dude who made it to first base with an unknown chick. 

“Let’s bust this up,” Bruce whispered. 

“Naw, let them suck face, man,” Wes answered. 

He never veered his eyes from the backs of heads that waggled in the graylight. His suggestion would have seemed a noble gesture, but more likely, he was enjoying the show. 

Bruce sneered. Busting things up was his specialty. He would not be denied, so he glanced at his Spanish Grammar, a book sufficiently large enough to clatter if tossed to the floor tiles. 

“Watch this,” he said, and then forced el libro onto its cold target.

The book echoed, ricocheting to the metal window grates. The busting up succeeded . . . only the results surprised Wes and Bruce. The smoochers were disturbed, twisting about — true enough. They rustled and hid their faces, quickly gathering their backpacks. They became a blur to Bruce and Wes, but still, no matter how much the blur tried to conceal the evidence, the facts were clear. Bruce’s jowls hung like a young bulldog’s. Wes scratched his head like an infested weasel.

“Those were guys,” Bruce snapped.

“(Fuss) yeah. You’re right. What’s with that, man?”

“Disgusting.” Bruce Dee squinted along the corridor. “Who were they? Did’ya see?”

“No. They were like (frackin’) rabbits.”

“Disgusting. Wait’ll Alison hears about this (sugar)!”

And with that thought, the means of rapid communications was established, which made this sighting common knowledge before the next period. It drifted through the Spanish class via whisper and passed notes, but went high-tech, a few emails doing their worst. That’s how Mr. Snowmyn learned about it during Shop class, when he suspected that Hank Schimmel wasn’t using his computer to access the design specs for the jewelry box he was supposed to be making. The message was clear: 

2 guys kissing in the hallway between stairwell 3 & boyz room. Disgusting. L8tr. Bruce D. 

Snowmyn was indignant. He told Mr. Farley, the assistant principal, who had perhaps kissed his own share of men. Still, it was his position that the email was a prank. He would have stuck to that conviction if Mrs. Guildenstern, the Political Science maven, hadn’t turned in a similar story from an email that she intercepted from Wes B. Still, the faculty thought ill of rumors — especially ones involving sexuality. Such things might impugn them as personally accountable for any randiness between the same-sexes. They had all seen The Children’s Hour and knew that that (shrike) Lillian Hellman was trying to indict teachers of all persuasions. Besides, had the two lads been caught red-handed, the only disciplinary action that could be levied would be a warning for disruptive conduct and being late for class — misdemeanors by any standard.
Calumny, once living, flares like a cobra’s hood, reaching across its humble seedpod, over its sapling growth and across the strong boughs in the loftiest canopies. It feeds on itself, true or not, stirring uneventful afternoons in windstorms, even if those afternoons had begun tranquilly. 

The promise of clear skies and pale blue heavens put Sarah Borden in a fine frame of mind. Still, as sure as the sun’s rays sang glorious, the phone rang just before three o’clock and the strains of Junie Dee’s voice were heard. Sarah sat at the kitchen table and watched the clock, this time with anticipation. Kevin would be home early. There would be no study in the Library today. 

They would be using the computer. 

The spaghetti sauce was bubbling on the stove, drowning the hollyhock aroma in a sea of marinara.

“That’s terrible,” Sarah said, twisting the phone cord around her wrist. Her eyes widened as she listened to the calumny as Junie, an expert, spread it. Sarah wasn’t sure she heard Junie correctly, but she was sure she heard her say that they caught two seniors naked in the locker room fondling each other’s . . . what? Oh, how the tale she grows with the telling. 

Edward C. Patterson
author of No Irish Need Apply


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Did I ever mention that I did a public reading (the first American author to do so) from the Kindle DX of No Irish need Apply at Booz, Allan Hamilton in Virginia in June 2009.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

I will rest when the world is free of JIM CROW.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

The closet is cold and lonely - so sometimes you invie someone it.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

There isn't a day gone by when someone doesn't buy this book. I'm ecstatic, especially since it's taken off in the UK. 

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

As anxious as coming out of the closet it is, it's still misunderstood, especially by those who walk the passage and run the gauntlet. 

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This little tome is nearing 1,500 readers. Come see why.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Irish widows and their sons — oh, the life in Linden, NJ

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

The three musketeers of my published works are _*Cutting the Cheese*_, _*No Irish Need Apply * _ and _*Bobby's Trace*_.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Boys will be boys, and when they're seventeen, they follow their gut instead of their head. But, not matter. These kids find their way out of the forest.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

These are selling like hot cakes in the UK now also.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

'Tis the season for the RedAdepts.

Ed Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Winter Read Number One.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This is the first of my three New Joisey set.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Coming out can be tough, especially among the young.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

If I knew that this book would be so popular, I would have written 19 of them. But better unique thatn formulaic.  

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Looking for a book with heart. Here 'tis.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

FREE March 4-10 at Smashwords.

http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/EdwardCPatterson

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

How do you handle bias intimidation?

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Our children are precious. But do we understand them?

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

My bestseller.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Diuscrimination comes in many shapes and sizes and guises, but at the core it reflects as much on the source as on the the target.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Visit with the Bordens and Lonnegans as they grapple with puberty.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This word is Dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbians)

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Still going strong after four years.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

There's much the young need learn, but also do they teach.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Kevin and Louis are in love and the rest of the world needs to know it.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Here's your beach read #2.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Fast beach read for your summer delight.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Here's a great 4th of July read.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This be the widow's dilemma, it be!

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

A good fast, summer read.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Three little reads for the beach - Cutting the Cheese, No Irish Need Apply and Bobby's Trace. 

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

When the Kids Teach Us How to Do It

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Also available in the omnibus Oh, Dainty Triolet.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

When the world is smaller than New Jersey.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

My little novel that could.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Children do the darndest things.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

A big thank you to all my readers for their continued support. May I keep you entertained for years to come.

Edward C. Patterson
Readers Rock!


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Wow, it's been 3 years since this novella was named Book of the Month (June) by Booz, Allan, Hamilton.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

For National Coming Out Day - Dedicated to PFLAG

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

A heartfelt story of coming of age.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Coming Out in New Jersey, Glory-ooski!

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

A Story of Courage in a Changing World

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Mama Borden has a dilemma - 2, byt the names of Louis and Kevin.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This is the last frontier and it's in our own backyards.


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Teens Sometimes do the Craziest and Bravest Things

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Happy Holidays from Kevin and Louis.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Widow Borden has a dilemma. Can you guess what it is?

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Everyone loves Kevin and Louis and the widow Borden.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Who did you take to the prom? Kevin's choice upsets the applecastg.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

When the closet opens, it effects many people.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Dedicated to PFLAG (The Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization devoted to supporting the coming out process in the home.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

The closedt is cold and dar k - and for teenagers, it's particularly foul. Coming in — where there's safety in numbers.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

When you're excluded, it's the place you need to be.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

My best seller still keep pumping after 5 years.  

Thanks to all,

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Somewhere in New Jersey a Flower Blooms

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

The Widow Borden's Dilemma - His Name is Kevin

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Thea world in the closet is cold and dismal. Yet how many teens live in the confines? How many manage to emerge? Well, I know of two . . .  well, actualll three, but my personal history doesn't figure now.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

I'm overwhelmed by the response to this story. I just told it simply, truthfully and with a sense of knowing what the inside of the closet feels like. Thanks all.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

I never went to my HS prom, because I dare not take who I wanted. So, I wrote this book, where I could and did,

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

June 2009 Book of the Month at Booz, Allen Hamiliton Diversity Reading Club.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

A Different Kind of Romance

edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

"Childen, the Rain is Coming . . ."

Edward C Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Kevin and Lewis have a special relationship, much to the wido Borden's surprise.

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Teens Do the Darndest Things . . .

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

from No Irish Need Reply

Dare 

Closets can be measured in various ways. Some are wide and walled with thorns, while others are narrow and restricted with girdles. No matter the size or scope, all closets are dank, keeping their prisoners wreathed in mendacity. Louis’ closet was wide and thorny. He had become accustomed to its borders and knew the door was transparent. He was sometimes shucked through the edges and creamed like corn under a hateful boot and a wicked taunt, but he knew the contour of life beyond the borders. He ignored the fundamental arrogance that grew in his own backyard. That was Louis’ closet.
Kevin’s closet was narrow and restricted. Other than the shadow in the hallway at Union Municipal, his closet was bordered by a drawn window shade and a parent proof door. It had a physicality he could well define, but it defied the dankness. To him, now that his love had been consummated within his bedroom arbor, just a whiff from the hollyhocks, Kevin lost sight of the lie that was forming within these four walls. His fears subsided when Louis entered this new world. He knew that when the lock was twisted and they reemerged into the living room that the secrets would be locked away again. 
Louis had his secret down pat. He was careful not to raise suspicions at home. Louise never questioned her son’s lack of girl interest, or his occasional bruise, or the hidden box of condoms stuck beneath his tube socks at the back of his top drawer. Louise was misted by her grief and daunted by the business of makin’ ends meet. She managed to pay the rent from the Prom account, but was forever apologizing to Louis for touchin’ the green that was meant for the angels. Still, Louise was rarely home now — now that Min needed an extra hand in the kitchen since Mum’s death. Louise could have used that extra cash, but you know No Irish Need Apply. Sally Ann Poltowski was asked to help with short order (along with a nice raise). This silver lining did give Louise a stay of execution and double work (and more tips). 
These career concerns kept Louise even further from the borders of Louis’ closet. Louis felt that if Louise had known he was gay (they say all parents know on some level), she would have run to the Palisades and tossed herself over. It would be the Catholic thing to do, after all — the Good Book that paved one’s way to heaven condemned Louis to the hell-fire for his misguided love. 
Repent! Confess! Auto de Fe! 
If he had been listening to the Gayly folk, he would have heard that organized crime members, pedophile priests and a Borgia Pope or three made it safely to the Pearly Gates with no more than a tsk tsk tsk for their confessed and exonerated sins. **** . . . well, No *** Need Apply. No, Louise would never know about her son. Louis swore that such knowledge would be the end of her and the end of him and perhaps the end of the Universe. You could look into Louis’ closet and see the prisoner within, reach in and give him a whack (as a public service). Still, leave him in the bubble that defined his path, at least until he met Kevin.
Kevin was also afraid of full parental disclosure. The thought of Sarah’s reaction to such news — news that was just seeping into his own noggin, making him queasy. Sarah was a stickler for appearance. Her home sparkled, her manners were important and she made book on the opinions of others — that cow Junie Dee, for one. Had Sarah suspected what went apace behind the closed bedroom-study door when Louis was in residence, Kevin would have exploded. He would have exploded had he known that on the Girls-Day-Out, when he and Louis were slithering beneath the pinstriped sheets, Sarah returned for her purse (apparently left behind in her haste). He would have been a skyrocket if he had seen her pick up his pants from the sofa, explore the hole with her index finger and than start toward the parent proofed bedroom door. She had reached for the knob, listening to the murmurs from within and had stopped just short of turning. She shrugged, folded the pants in their creases and draped them over the chair of the house. She retrieved the purse, and then it was off to see Elijah Wood. Yes, Kevin would have imploded like Ebbets Field had he known how close his closet came to parental puncture.
Louis became a daily fixture at the Borden House. Louise didn’t mind. She was working overtime and was glad that Louis had found a friend. Sarah didn’t mind either. She liked Louis’ manners, looks and, if Kevin had a boon companion, it was more than she could boast (although she would never admit it). No more rumors from school drifted through the Junie Dee phone line. The boys were careful, knowing that they could drift into the bedroom for their unrestrained study. 
This evening the subject was calculus (again) and the dinner was spaghetti (again). The conversation strayed to wherever it wanted.
“I’ve got it,” Kevin said, finishing the problem. He was hovering over the notebook, pencil in hand. “I solved that sucker.”
Louis bounced from the bed. He was gazing at a Swedish Sluts porn mag, much to his disgust. He told Kevin there were better mags for the likes of them and he had some stashed behind a loose board in the pantry on Apple Street. He would try to bring them over soon. They’re very instructive, for the likes of us. For now, he gazed over Kevin’s shoulder and proofed the Calc exercise. 
“You did it,” he said. “It’s about time.”  
“You should talk,” Kevin said, gazing up into those dark eyes. “You haven’t worked on one yet.” 
“What’s the point?”  
“We’re supposed to be studying,” Kevin said. “You know, like, learning something.”  
“What’s the point?” Louis repeated. He closed the book, and then kissed Kevin’s forehead. “We’re here in our cave — our lair. Study time’s over, I think. We’re here to be together.” He kissed him again, this time smack on the lips. Kevin kissed him back, but suddenly flinched, moving away. “What’s the matter?” 
“Ma,” he said. “You never know when she’ll spring on us . . . like a cat.”  
Louis bounced on the mattress, shaking his head. 
“You’re hard on Mrs. B. She’s very sweet. She likes me.”  
Kevin leaped on the bed, propping his head in his hands and giggling. 
“Would she like you if she knew you were courtin’ her son?” 
He batted his lashes.
“Courtin’?” Louis said with a Southern drawl. “Like Miss Scarlet?”  
“Yes ‘um,” Kevin drawled back. He sat beside Louis, posing like one of the Tarlatan twins. “Miss Scarlet, will you take bar-be-que with me at the pahrty?”  
Louis rolled in the bedspread, shawling his head. 
“Why Master Borden,” he flirted, “you’ll make a girl blush. Do you want to take me to the bahll?”  
“Can I, Miss Scarlet?”  
“Go ‘way! What kinda girl do you think I am?”  
Kevin grasped Louis’ cheeks and held him still. He planted a cinematic kiss on his face that would have made Rhett Butler blush. This was followed by a wrestling match, the sheets splayed across the bed as they twisted. Suddenly, Kevin sat up and raised his hand for silence. They held their merriment in suspense like two drunks on quicksand.
“I think I hear Ma,” Kevin whispered. 
“I don’t hear . . .”
“Boys,” Sarah bellowed from the kitchen. “Supper’s almost ready.” They both sighed. “Louis, do you like hot sausage?”  
“Sausage?” Louis muttered, poking Kevin in the sausage. Kevin wrestled him away. “Yes, Mrs. B, I love that sausage.”  
“Shhh! You’re so bad,” Kevin said. 
“You’re not so bad yourself.” 
Louis zoned to the serious. Kevin followed suit.    
“Did you see the look that Bruce gave us today?” Kevin asked.  
“Shit. I thought he was gonna puke when he saw us.”  
“Well, we gotta be careful near him. He’ll tell his mother and she’ll tell Ma.” He looked away. “It’s terrible to think that one slip at school and Ma would find out. I can’t imagine how she’d feel hearing something like that from that fucking cow Junie.”
“You could always beat her to the punch,” Louis suggested.  
“What do you mean?”  
Louis winked. 
“Tell your mother yourself.”  
“You gotta be shittin’ me. She’d die if she knew I was . . . gay.” 
There, he said it. He had thought it, read about it, entwined himself within Louis’ soft body in tribute to it and even reconciled himself to a life in the closet for it, but he had never said the g-word. It rolled off his tongue like molten iron into a steel cauldron. So much so that Louis winced. 
“She already has a gay son,” Louis said. “She’s gonna find out sooner or later as more and more people at school figure it out.”
“They’ve figured you out, Louis, but not me.”
“It’s gonna hit home.”  
“Then how come your mother doesn’t know? I’ll tell my mother, if you tell yours.” 
That was a sure-bet dare that would never be taken. 
“Never,” Louis said. “And my mother doesn’t have any connections to the school like your Ma.” 
“You’re being a hypocrite,” Kevin said. “You want me to spill the beans to Ma, yet you’d leave yours in the dark. That’s hokey.”
Louis pouted. 
“I was just helping. You said that you’d hate it if she found out from someone else. What better way to prevent that than to tell her yourself? My mother’s different. She’d never understand. I’m all she has and . . .” 
“What’s your point?” Kevin said. “You’d have my Ma turn on me, but you wouldn’t . . .” 
“No.” Louis held his head. Tears stood in his eyes. Breath hitched. Kevin rubbed his back. “My mother has had too much heartache. There never seems to be a minute’s peace for the woman. I couldn’t think of how hard she’d take it if she knew.”  
“She must know already,” Kevin said. “I mean, people can tell what you are a mile away.”  
Louis let the tears fall. 
“Well maybe so, but what’s not discussed is best not discussed . . . sometimes.”  
Kevin kissed his cheek, catching the salty flow. 
“Same here, man. Same here.”  
“Everything’s ready,” Sarah shouted. “Come and get it, boys.”
Louis sighed. 
“I really like Mrs. B,” he said. “I’d hate to hurt her, Kev.”
Kevin looked to the parent proof door, and then scurried to the window shade, releasing it and the hollyhock aroma. He unlocked the door, and then turned to Louis, his arm extended like an escort to a cotillion. 
“Miss Scarlet,” he said with a gracious nod. “Are you ready for your place at the Bar-be-que?”
Louis arose, taking the arm. 
“Why, I thought you’d never ask, you cheeky devil.”  

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*FREE for the entire month of July at Smashwords.com. 
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

Use coupon SW100 upon check out and enjoy
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/93*

Use the same coupon for all 19 of my books - also on FREE promotion for this Month
Edward C. Patterson​


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*Still FREE for the entire month of July at Smashwords.com. 
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

"Teens does the darndest things."



Use coupon SW100 upon check out and enjoy
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/93*​
*Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.

**
Use the same coupon for all 19 of my books - also on FREE promotion for this Month
Edward C. Patterson​*


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Still Free at Smashwords. Use SW100 as the coupon code when checking out.

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/93

Edward C. Patterson


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*No Irish Need Apply*
*by 
Edward C. Patterson*

*Teens Do the Darndest Things*

​
*Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.
126 pages

The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton.*

*Edward C. Patterson*


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*FREE Today & Tomorrow October 7th and 8th at Amazon**
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

Teens Do the Darndest Things

 *​*

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.
126 pages

The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton.

Edward C. Patterson*


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*FREE Today Only - November 3rd at Amazon**
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

Teens Do the Darndest Things

 *​*

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.
126 pages

The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton.

Edward C. Patterson*


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!**
FREE Today and Tomorrow - November 28th and 29th at Amazon
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

Teens Do the Darndest Things

 *​*

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.
126 pages

The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton.

Edward C. Patterson*


----------



## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*FREE Today and Tomorrow - January 4th & 5th at Amazon**
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

Teens Do the Darndest Things

 *​*

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.
126 pages

The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton.

Edward C. Patterson*


----------



## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*FREE Today and Tomorrow - February 11th & 12th at Amazon**
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

Teens Do the Darndest Things

 *​*

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.
126 pages

The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton.

Edward C. Patterson*


----------



## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*FREE for THREE DAYS - March 26th, 27th & 28th at Amazon**
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

Teens Do the Darndest Things

 *​*

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.
126 pages

The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton.

Edward C. Patterson*


----------



## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*FREE Tuesday & Wednesday May 13th & 14th at Amazon**
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

Teens Do the Darndest Things
17 5-star Reviews

 *​*

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.
126 pages

The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton.

Edward C. Patterson*


----------



## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*FREE for 3 Days June 28th, 29th & 30th at Amazon**
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

Teens Do the Darndest Things
17 5-star Reviews

 *​*

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.
126 pages

The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton.

Edward C. Patterson*


----------



## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*FREE Today & Tomorrow August 18th & 19th at Amazon**
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

Teens Do the Darndest Things
17 5-star Reviews

 *​*

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.
126 pages

The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton.

Edward C. Patterson*


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*No Irish Need Apply*
*by 
Edward C. Patterson*

*17 5-star Reviews

Winner of the Red Adept Annual Indie Award (2010)
Selected as 2009 June Book of the Month by Booz Allen Hamilton's Diversity Reading Group.

17 5-stars our of 29 Reviews

"Poetic Prose with Both Depth and Substance"
"Heart-warming and Heart-breaking in Equal Measure "
"Delightful and touching"
"Entertaining and thought provoking"
"A New Perspective on Growing Up In Today's High School"
*

*Edward C. Patterson*​


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*FREE Today & Tomorrow Sep 23rd & 24th at Amazon**
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

Teens Do the Darndest Things
17 5-star Reviews

 *​*

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.
126 pages

The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton.

Edward C. Patterson*


----------



## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*FREE Today & Tomorrow Nov 13th & 14th at Amazon**
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

Teens Do the Darndest Things
17 5-star Reviews

 *​*

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.
126 pages

The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton.

Edward C. Patterson

for FB*


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*FREE Today & Tomorrow September 17th & 18th at Amazon**
No Irish Need Apply
by 
Edward C. Patterson

Teens Do the Darndest Things
17 5-star Reviews

 *​*

Kevin Borden has a secret, and that secret is about to shake the world around him - a tame and suburban world ruled by his widow mother, Sarah and peppered by his study-mate, Louis. Teenagers sometimes do the darndest things, but in Kevin and Louis' case, it's a stroke of wisdom wrapped in fool's gold. In a time not so long ago, in the days of JIM CROW and NO IRISH NEED APPLY signage, the world made it clear to those regarded as the fringe. "Stay away." To those who know no better - or perhaps know best, such lines are only meant to be crossed, or why else would they be drawn.

No Irish Need Apply is dedicated to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that has guided many youth across that line into the loving arms of those listening to their hearts; those shattering those hateful Jim Crow signs. Come visit with the Bordens and the Lonnegans as they take that journey across the line.
126 pages

The Book of the Month for June 2009 for the Diversity Reading Group at Booz Allen Hamilton.

Edward C. Patterson*


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