# Looking for an fecalogist/fecalist (expert in organic waste)



## AngryGames (Jul 28, 2013)

**SUPER-BIG EXHALE**

Right. So. Before anyone freaks out, or labels me as a weirdo (actually, you probably already have just from the thread title, and if not, you definitely will after reading this...), please be aware that this is a serious post, and I am in no way, shape, or form trying to troll anyone or act like a 14 year old boy telling poop jokes to his friends or needing information to write some weird, disgusting erotica. I'm not sure where to turn to for something this...strange (or possibly taboo?) and decided to be brave and ask fellow authors if they might know someone that can help me out.

Okay, that disclaimer out of the way, I'll give just a slight synopsis of the novel I'm working on and how this whole human excrement thing fits in. I do apologize up front if anyone finds this disturbing (again, it is NOT meant to be, and I'm extremely embarrassed to ask in such a public place).

I'm 43k words into a science fiction story about first contact / alien invasion. The feces thing is not brought into the plot yet, but it soon will be, and I would like to get with an expert in this subject to have a serious conversation about it.

Actually I just wrote a little bit out and it sounds just too weird and since I'm a noob around here, I'd rather just be judged as some weirdo new guy instead of someone to be avoided at all costs because I might be dangerously insane. The only thing I guess I can say without sounding too frightening is that the aliens are helping humanity by disposing of organic waste, including excrement (this is a good thing in the story as it will start to give humans in an overcrowded, overpopulated world a way to dispose of such things without polluting or poisoning the environment).

I'm very interested in the chemical/enzymatic nature of organic waste, not because I like poop (though I'm 40 and still enjoy poop jokes, I'll be honest, but again, this is NOT what I want to talk to someone for), but because I want to make sure my aliens and my humans understand such things as how the digestive system breaks down organic materials into waste, and the chemical process that it goes through. There's more to it than that, but again, I'd rather just leave it at that for now until you guys know me better and know that yes, I am weird, but I'm not dangerously weird or creepy weird haha.

I do realize that I can google some of this stuff, and I have, but googling information is nowhere near as accurate or topical as the specific questions I have. So if anyone has made it this far and knows a person or organization that might be willing to talk to me, please let me know.

I apologize once again, and I apologize for apologizing so much. I feel like every third or fourth word of this post is me begging people to not think I'm a weird internet troll. I mean, I kinda am, but that's only because those stupid billy goats from the Gruff clan wrote a story back in the 1840's about how I'm this terrible, evil creature who tries to eat anyone that crosses my bridge. I've been fighting back since 1846 when I first read it, but being an ugly, underbridge-dwelling troll, most people are unwilling to give me a chance to explain my side of the story.

Hrmm...actually that gives me an idea for story. I've been thinking of re-telling some of the old fables and tales but from the 'bad guy' point of view. Because as my wife says (high school history teacher), the winners are the ones that get to write the history, and in the modern versions the winners are always the 'good guys'. But from what I remember, the original tales had a lot of endings that weren't so happy and the good guys weren't always the winners.

Anyway, I apologize for that sidetrack I just went down. Thank you to anyone who might know where I can find someone to talk to about this excrement thing.

Travis Hill (Really...I'm a normal person. I promise.)

PS if any of you are experts in 'nuclear fusion' I'd love to talk to you as well. My expertise is in computer systems and ice hockey. I almost became a history teacher/professor, and my wife teaches APUSH/APHUG.

*sigh*

here goes...I'm really afraid to hit the POST button on this, but what the hey, you only live once, right?


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## The Hooded Claw (Oct 12, 2009)

I'm no "Fecologist", but I'll fall for it. The following two books may be worthwhile for you to read for research:





I haven't read either one, but have had them on my watch list to grab if the price dropped. Being reminded of them here made me go ahead and grab "Big Necessity" and I'll probably read it soon. Mary Roach, author of the other book, is widely acclaimed for writing interesting and accessible books on obscure and somewhat disquieting topics such as this.

To talk to a human being with knowledge of these matters, I'd suggest you consider giving these people a call:
http://www.deq.idaho.gov/water-quality/wastewater.aspx

Your profile says you are in Idaho, and these are the folks who regulate wastewater treatment systems (the systems that deal with water that goes down the drain or down the toilet) in Idaho. If you can convince one of them to talk to you, you may get some good information, or at least some good war stories. They may be able to recommend people to talk to with very specific knowledge that can help you. To help convince them that they aren't being pranked, if it is convenient for you to go to their office and talk in person, you might be better off (I'm playing it straight here and assuming I'm not being pranked!). Taking copies of printed books you've published, or at least of a business card that identifies you as a writer might help a little bit.

It has nothing to do with your specific questions, but I can't resist throwing in a link to a book review I wrote about a book with a loosely-related topic:
http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,137939.msg2188967.html#msg2188967


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## Scheherazade (Apr 11, 2009)

My best advice for questions like these is http://www.reddit.com/r/askscience where they have experts from all sorts of different fields who will answer questions, assuming someone knows and your post gets upvotes. The only expert I know in anything even close is actually an historian who specializes in... that sort of thing. I don't have much contact with her anymore, she was one of my professors at ODU, but she did actually specialize in the history of... organic waste, as you put it. So there's at least hope for people out there who do make a living out of it to help you out.


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## AngryGames (Jul 28, 2013)

Thx Hood, and no, this is not a punk/prank/troll. My wife was entirely grossed out when I told her the idea for the book. Then she read the 4k word concept I wrote out and she's very interested in how it will turn out. Quite a few of my friends and test readers have went through the same range of emotions and are now fully in the 'I would read that' mindset...which kind of worries me honestly haha. 

Not sure why I didn't think of the guys at the treatment plant. I think it is such a weird, mostly taboo subject that I figured only actual doctors or research scientists would either know about or want to talk about. Convincing people that I'm serious isn't as much of a worry as convincing them I'm not insane. 

"graphic enough to get the point across but not be disgusting" from your review is pretty close to what most of my friends have said. 


As for Reddit...every interaction I've ever had at Reddit has been a disaster in that the worst of the internet trolls have been present and have pretty much ruined me ever going there again. I don't feel like getting trolled about this particular subject (any subject really, but particularly this one). I appreciate the reply though. I was afraid after fifteen minutes of trying to decide if I really wanted to post this thread that everyone would think I was being a troll myself.


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## Scheherazade (Apr 11, 2009)

Reddit is an experience that varies a whole lot based on what subreddits you visit.  The askscience one is pretty heavily moderated and any silliness is deleted posthaste.  Smaller subreddits tend to have nicer folks in them, so if you have a specific interest it's a better experience than just going to the main page and browsing the default subreddits.  I have seen some amazing people on the site and a lot of folks who are beyond nice and helpful and communities that pull together to help people in times of crisis.  I have also seen the worst of trolls and plain insulting people who really need a smack to knock some sense into them.  It's a mixed bag, but can be a fun site to visit once you've accustomed yourself for what to expect.


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## Annalog (Dec 28, 2008)

This thread reminded me that I have a copy (2nd edition?) of the following book:

Author's page

Government and university web sites were useful to me when I wanted to find out how far away from our septic leach field would be safe for our vegetable garden and planned orchard. A properly maintained septic system is a wonderful thing, especially in a desert environment. I found reading how they worked interesting.

I am curious if the the aliens are helping by providing easier ways to transform human fecal matter into safe compost or if they are taking it in order to deprive the earth of a crucial trace element or as a raw material for a biological weapon. (I don't expect an answer as that would give too much away.  )


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## AngryGames (Jul 28, 2013)

Hi Anna, thanks for the reply. 

Part of the information I'm after definitely deals with waste in the environment and how the aliens will help reduce it in the environment (in harmful terms).

A much larger aspect that I am looking into is the chemical process that happens as organic food gets broken down in the digestive system and what the end result (no pun intended though I am talking about excrement so maybe pun intended a little) is. I've spent plenty of time searching the internet, and I have an understanding of the process, but I'm looking to talk to a doctor or researcher that deals with this kind of thing. 

There's no way to 'bounce ideas' off of Google. Searching for this subject all too often leads to very unsavory websites also lol. Thankfully I spent the last fifteen years fixing computers, most of that removing pornography and the various infections from the machines, so I'm not shocked by much, if anything anymore.


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## Grace Elliot (Mar 14, 2011)

Wow - who knew? I'm so impressed by the detailed answers.

On a different note, when my boys were little they attended a holiday club in a science museum where they had to do various things to bat poo and then look at it under the microscope. Fascinating! (seriously, you could see bits of the insects that the bat had eaten but not digested)


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## AngryGames (Jul 28, 2013)

I still feel really weird asking about this...but I suppose once the story is finished, it won't be as weird. It always makes people uncomfortable talking about 'taboo' subjects. 

Still haven't gotten around to looking further into this, wife nearly cut her finger off with an immersion blender so been busy with that =/

hint: unplug any appliance/tool before trying to work on it!


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