# Bram Stoker's Dracula has been renamed



## CS (Nov 3, 2008)

Twilight 0--Dracula: The First Vampire Romance


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

That's it.  I'm resigning from the human race.


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

It's not even a romance.  There is some amount of romance (between the humans), but it is first a mystery and then an adventure story.


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## Mnemosyne (Oct 31, 2008)

Ughhh...I read Twilight and enjoyed it for what it was, but it ain't Dracula, and can't ever hope to be. That's rather insulting to ol' Bram, actually.

My Dad left me a first edition copy of B.S.'s Dracula...I count it as one of my most prized material possessions.

Nemo


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## robin.goodfellow (Nov 17, 2008)

stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop

It cannot be healthy to laugh out loud for this long when one is in the house by oneself.  Next thing you know, I'll be talking to imaginary people.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

What makes you think you're not already. . . . . . 

Ann


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## bkworm8it (Nov 17, 2008)

LOL BS wrote Dracula, that explains alot   

thanks for the laugh!

theresam


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## Sweety18 (Feb 14, 2009)

I wonder why they changed the name?


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## bkworm8it (Nov 17, 2008)

Sweety18 said:


> I wonder why they changed the name?


Wasn't drawing enough readers??  More people search the word Twilight? 

theresam


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## robin.goodfellow (Nov 17, 2008)

> What makes you think you're not already. . . . . .


One of my darkest fears, to be sure.


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

robin.goodfellow said:


> One of my darkest fears, to be sure.


Miss McGillicuddy, The Professor, Hiram and I were all discussing this about you last night.


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## intinst (Dec 23, 2008)

That loud whrrring sound you here is Bram Stoker spinning.


Bacardi Jim said:


> That's it. I'm resigning from the human race.


I'm with you, Jim


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## ScottBooks (Oct 28, 2008)

Bacardi Jim said:


> That's it. I'm resigning from the human race.





intinst said:


> That loud whrrring sound you here is Bram Stoker spinning.I'm with you, Jim


This is just some schmuck who's probably already made a couple grand by retitling a public domain book to take advantage of the current craze.

What book should we retitle (slightly) and sell to make a ton of easy cash?


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

ScottBooks said:


> This is just some schmuck who's probably already made a couple grand by retitling a public domain book to take advantage of the current craze.
> 
> What book should we retitle (slightly) and sell to make a ton of easy cash?


The Grapes of Wrath = Americans Idle


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Jeez, I'm amazing....


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Valley of the Dolls = Unreal Wives of the O.C.--The Legend Begins


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

*Twilight: Last Gleaming*


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Frankenstein = 28 Hours Later--The First Zombie


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

*Ugly Betty*


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

*taps mouse*

Is this thing on?

*gets bit*


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Pygmalion = Hairy Potter and the Gorgeous Golem


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

*stomps on the crickets*


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Jane Eyre = Supernanny 1: The Beginning


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

*sobs*
Can't somebody tackle me to the ground and stop me?


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Oedipus Rex = MILFs RULE!


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Bullfinch's Mythology = Heroes


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## intinst (Dec 23, 2008)

Dante's Inferno - Some Like it Hot


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

intinst said:


> Dante's Inferno - Some Like it Hot


HA! Except, that wouldn't sell either.


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

The Silence of the Lambs = Top Chef


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Lord of the Flies = Teen _Survivor_


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Blithe Spirit = Sookie and the City


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers = The I-Pod User's Manual


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## Kind (Jan 28, 2009)

Bacardi Jim said:


> Oedipus Rex = MILFs RULE!


I like that


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

= Saw 0: Grandpa Has an Axe to Grind


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Kind said:


> I like that


*takes the feeble praise and snuggles it to adulthood*


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

= OK Computer


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

Bacardi Jim said:


> The Silence of the Lambs = Top Chef


Or Project Runway

Around the World in 80 days - The Amazing Race


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

imallbs said:


> Or Project Runway
> 
> Around the World in 80 days - The Amazing Race


Yay! And a good one!

I felt............................. so alone............


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

The Scarlet Letter - Sex and the city


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

Bacardi Jim said:


> Yay! And a good one!
> 
> I felt............................. so alone............


Don't worry, you're not alone

They're watching

They're always watching


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

The Hot Rock = Ocean's Six


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

imallbs said:


> Don't worry, you're not alone
> 
> They're watching
> 
> They're always watching


Yes. W--they are....

Time for your vitamins...


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

The Mists of Avalon - A Knights Tale


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

imallbs said:


> The Mists of Avalon - A Knights Tale


The Mists of Avalon = A Witch's Tail


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

*bows out on a laugh*

Remember to tip your bartenders and waitresses.


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

Bacardi Jim said:


> The Mists of Avalon = A Witch's Tail


MacBeth - A Witch's Tail


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

MacBeth - Scotland, PA

But nobody watched that either


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

imallbs said:


> MacBeth - A Witch's Tail


...of newt.

Fair enough.


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

The Blue Lagoon  - Baywatch


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

imallbs said:


> MacBeth - Scotland, PA
> 
> But nobody watched that either


Great. You said its nake. New we wilk all post lime sgit
Fivk you, cvrse-vronger!


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

*intentionally breaks his leg*


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

Bacardi Jim said:


> Great. You said its nake. New we wilk all post lime sgit
> Fivk you, cvrse-vronger!


cant type, im laughing too hard..............


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

imallbs said:


> The Blue Lagoon - Baywatch


Can Baywatch still sell?


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

Bacardi Jim said:


> Can Baywatch still sell?


To several men I know


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

imallbs said:


> cant type, im laughing too hard..............


I can, but I *had to break my own leg to do so!*

Lotsa creative folks around here. Don't mention "The Scottish Play" by name again.


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

The Count of Monte Cristo - The Shawshank Redemption


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

imallbs said:


> To several men I know


You are really Matt LeBlanc, aren't you?


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

imallbs said:


> The Count of Monte Cristo - The Shawshank Redemption


Niiiiiiiiice!


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

Bacardi Jim said:


> I can, but I [b[had to break my own leg to do so![/b]
> 
> Lotsa creative folks around here. Don't mention "The Scottish Play" by name again.


OK, I won't say MacBeth "The Scottish Play" by name again


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

Bacardi Jim said:


> You are really Matt LeBlanc, aren't you?


Just call me Joey


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

imallbs said:


> Just call me Joey


Seriously... don't get started.I'll hijack a thread I already love to fill it with _Friends_ references.

Walk away... there's nothing to see here.


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

How you doin?


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

imallbs said:


> How you doin?


*giggles*


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Damn.  You're doing it!!!!


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

The Time Machine - Dr Who


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

And it's too late/drunk for me to be "clever."  All I have left is "smart."

*girds loins*


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

imallbs said:


> The Time Machine - Dr Who


The Time machine = Back to the Future


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

Bacardi Jim said:


> And it's too late/drunk for me to be "clever." All I have left is "smart."
> 
> *girds loins*


Drunk, that's where I'm heading


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

Bacardi Jim said:


> The Time machine = Back to the Future


Clever


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

I'll leave this thread for what it was meant for, and meet you in Not Quite Kindle, sir.


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

But I have more


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

The Island of Dr Moreau  - Lost


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

imallbs said:


> The Island of Dr Moreau - Lost


The Island of Dr. Moreau = UFC


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

Treasure Island - Pirates of the Carribean


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

Charlie's Angels - VIP


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

Hogan's Heroes - Prison Break


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## Figment (Oct 27, 2008)

Bacardi Jim said:


> = Saw 0: Grandpa Has an Axe to Grind


TOO funny!!!


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## Figment (Oct 27, 2008)

imallbs said:


> To several men I know


And very well in Europe and South America...


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Robinson Caruso= Solo Survivor

Jekyll and Hyde = Dexter, the Early Years.

The Mummy= Weekend at Tutankhamen's

The Werewolf = PETA Does and Dont's

Huckleberry Finn =PC incorrect historical fiction, banned or A Boy and His African-American Unpaid Servant Travel the Mississippi.


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## ScottBooks (Oct 28, 2008)

These are WAY Funnier than anything in the "Send Wirelessly" thread! I'm at work and incredibly busy but I'll think of some meager joke to add.


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## Sweety18 (Feb 14, 2009)

Oh, didn't even think of that! Clever 



bkworm8it said:


> Wasn't drawing enough readers??  More people search the word Twilight?
> 
> theresam


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## VMars (Feb 8, 2009)

Gah! Stop the madness.


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Twilight=Vampires for Dummies


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

= The Sopranos

(LR will get it...)


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## intinst (Dec 23, 2008)

Vampyre said:


> Twilight=Vampires for Dummies


Straight to the Heart!


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Bacardi Jim said:


> = The Sopranos
> 
> (LR will get it...)


LMAO, so you were listening.


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

LuckyRainbow said:


> LMAO, so you were listening.


On _that_ topic, I felt I'd better.... or else....

I took it as a cautionary tale.


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## David J. Guyton (Jan 6, 2009)

ScottBooks said:


> This is just some schmuck who's probably already made a couple grand by retitling a public domain book to take advantage of the current craze.
> 
> What book should we retitle (slightly) and sell to make a ton of easy cash?


Well I can tell you that with a sales rank of 25,000+, he/she isn't making any money. My novel is consistantly below 1000, and IIIII'M not rich.

Also I am not sure about Public Domain laws. I know the book is old enough, but it varies by country. Stoker was not an American, so I can only assume that Irish PD laws apply. I think American PD law is +95 years currently. Either way I can't see how anyone should be able to republish, let alone RENAME it. It should be reported to amazon.


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## robin.goodfellow (Nov 17, 2008)

This is too funny.  Is it too late to play?

Alice In Wonderland = Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Gulliver's Travels = Quantum Leap

Yes?  No?  Maybe?


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## CuriousLaura (Feb 7, 2009)

THis is bad for my health, I need to stop laughing....ROTFLMAO


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

= Dancing With the Stars


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

= A Series of Unfortunate Events 14: The Bitter Bread


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

= The Tiger Woods Story


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

= Coldplay: The Authorized Biography


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

= The Unofficial WoW Strategy Guide


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

= Mr. Monk and the Survival of the Fittest


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

= Project Runway

(Thank you, imallbs.)


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

I, Robot = The Sims--Futureville


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

= Radiohead: The Totally Authorized Story


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

= Mercy Thompson (Book 5): The Call of the Wild


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

= Southern Vampire Series--Book 0: How Vampires Became Wusses


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

Charlotte's Web = 2009 Farmer's Almanac


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## robin.goodfellow (Nov 17, 2008)

<bows before superior intellects>

How about


Nancy Drew = Stephanie Plum Book 0? The horrifying adolescent years?


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## ScottBooks (Oct 28, 2008)

Robin, we're aiming to make money here. We need popular! Not Books!

Something like...

"Little House in the Big Woods" = Hannah Montana Grows Up


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

ScottBooks said:


> Robin, we're aiming to make money here. We need popular! Not Books!
> 
> Something like...
> 
> "Little House in the Big Woods" = Hannah Montana Grows Up


I spent an hour last night/this morning trying to come up with a Hannah Montana reference and failed completely.


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

Little Women=Sex and the City Prequel


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## ScottBooks (Oct 28, 2008)

We could rerelease the Three Musketeers as two books:

The Three Mouseketeers :Britney, Christina and Justin go to EuroDisney  or

The Jonas Brothers in Olden Tmes


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## Guest (Feb 18, 2009)

Hey!  I'd forgotten about this thread.  Hope I contributed, Scott.


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## ScottBooks (Oct 28, 2008)

Jim, the Grapes of Wrath = Americans Idle is still the funniest thing I've seen or heard this year!


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

Gulliver's Travels -- Big Love

The Complete History of Jack The Ripper -- Dexter's Dead Doppelganger

Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde -- Men Get PMS, Too

Rikki Tikki Tavi -- Mongoose Kills Snakes, Not on a Mother-effin' Plane

Stepford Wives -- Formerly Desperate Housewives

Grey's Anatomy -- Grey's Anatomy With Slightly More Fleshed Out People, But a Few of Them Could Still Use a Sammich.

The Thin Man -- The Jack Skellington Story

Anne of a Thousand Days -- The Tudors: Seasons 1 and 2


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

Either nothing dies on this forum or I dreamed the last week.   I'm kinda hopping nothing dies here because I don't want to relive the last week.

I've been waiting for this one (or did I just miss it)  Crime and Punishment - Law and Order


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## Guest (Feb 21, 2009)

imallbs said:


> I've been waiting for this one (or did I just miss it) Crime and Punishment - Law and Order: Moscow


Fixed.


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## Guest (Feb 21, 2009)

Sherlock Holmes - CSI: London


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

The Good Earth -- More People For Miley to Mock.


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## robin.goodfellow (Nov 17, 2008)

MichelleR said:


> Gulliver's Travels -- Big Love
> 
> The Complete History of Jack The Ripper -- Dexter's Dead Doppelganger
> 
> ...


Well done, Michelle!


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## Guest (Mar 3, 2009)

Guards! Guards! = Watchmen: Ankh-Morpork


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## Guest (Mar 3, 2009)

The Red Shoes = So you Think You Can Dance?


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## Guest (Mar 3, 2009)

= Deal or No Deal


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

Bacardi Jim said:


> The Red Shoes = So you Think You Can Dance?


My favorite. SYTYCD starts in May ... like you *really *wanted to know that.


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## Sunflower42479 (Mar 2, 2009)

Jude the Obscure = Bachelor (maybe particularly this last season)


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