# Is there a difference between a Romance and a Love Story?



## Daphne (May 27, 2010)

A question that has exercised my brain recently. Does the term Romance create certain preconceptions? Do we consider a Love Story to be more literary? Your views, please...


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## flanneryohello (May 11, 2010)

Nicholas Sparks has very famously stated that he does not write romances, but rather "love stories".

I do agree that there is a distinction, though I don't think love stories are "more literary". As a genre, the modern definition of "romance fiction" (clearly we're not talking about the medieval concept of a "romance") is a story that contains two specific elements: a central love story, and "an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending". A love story has no such requirement for an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending. So in this sense Nicholas Sparks is quite correct...his books would not be classified as romance fiction because they tend to end in death or tragedy. 

It's pretty clear that Nicholas Sparks considers "love stories" to be more literary and worthy of more respect, but I think that's kind of...well, snobbish, for lack of a better term. I'm not the type of person to subscribe to the theory that a sad ending makes something better or more legitimate in any way. It's entirely possible to produce an amazing, transcendent, "literary" romance novel, just like it's possible to produce a mediocre love story.


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## Thea J (Jul 7, 2010)

flanneryohello said:


> It's pretty clear that Nicholas Sparks considers "love stories" to be more literary and worthy of more respect, but I think that's kind of...well, snobbish, for lack of a better term. I'm not the type of person to subscribe to the theory that a sad ending makes something better or more legitimate in any way. It's entirely possible to produce an amazing, transcendent, "literary" romance novel, just like it's possible to produce a mediocre love story.


Well said.


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## 4Katie (Jun 27, 2009)

> Is there a difference between a Romance and a Love Story?


They're pretty much the same to me. I just wish people would understand that there's a difference between romance and sex. Complementary, certainly, but two TOTALLY different things!


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

Romance novels carry with them an expectation, almost a contract, to delivery a HEA -- a happily ever after. A love story can end tragically. Cinderella is a romance, Romeo and Juliet is a love story.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

What about a love story with a happy ending?


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

Geoffrey said:


> What about a love story with a happy ending?


Of course. Love stories have that choice. When people purchase a romance novel though, they're expecting that it has a "just" ending.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Any such labeling is always vague and potentially misleading. But, my take on it is that in general, "romance" is a sub-set of "love story". Romance, the genre, seems to be more narrowly defined, both in terms of target audience and what is expected and allowed (by publishers and/or that target audience) than in its super-set, the love story. Love story is not a genre, but a story type. You can have science fiction love stories, horror love stories, etc., but if you say some specific book is a "romance" and do not say any more about it, most people will form a fairly distinct idea about the book -- albeit not necessarily correct.


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

There you go, ND. Paranormal romances do seem to be a big thing at the moment.


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## Anne Victory (Jul 29, 2010)

MichelleR said:


> There you go, ND. Paranormal romances do seem to be a big thing at the moment.


I'm glad as I love the genre. I remember once-upon-a-time where the only imprint that had them was LoveSpell. Now everybody's publishing paranormal romance, it seems - even Harlequin/Silhouette


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

Arkali said:


> I'm glad as I love the genre. I remember once-upon-a-time where the only imprint that had them was LoveSpell. Now everybody's publishing paranormal romance, it seems - even Harlequin/Silhouette


I run pretty hot and cold on them. I definitely enjoy some, but not too much into shape-shifters. I like my vampires pretty disturbed too.


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## CDChristian (Jun 4, 2010)

This is such a great question and I'm _still_ not sure how to answer it as a reader or a writer. Warning: I might ramble so please excuse and forgive. 

I believe a love story can be anything from sweet to dark. It doesn't have to be PC and it doesn't need to cater to perfection. Romance, on the other hand, is very strict with expectations. Like it was said:



NogDog said:


> Any such labeling is always vague and potentially misleading. But, my take on it is that in general, "romance" is a sub-set of "love story". Romance, the genre, seems to be more narrowly defined, both in terms of target audience and what is expected and allowed (by publishers and/or that target audience) than in its super-set, the love story.


This seems to be very true. Break expectation and rage will definitely ensue.  (And just so it doesn't seem that I'm being a romance-snob, there are times when I want something formulaic and something I can depend on. The common telenovela theme of pretty, poor girl falls in love with handsome, rich guy always hits the spot with me.)

I've also noticed a distinction between romance and sex for many readers/writers; it's as if they're mutually exclusive. Meaning, if a story has strong sexual content it must not be a romance or a love story. I strongly disagree. I feel you can have a story with depth that portrays all aspects of love: emotionally, psychologically, and physically.

With that being said, I feel you have different expectations as a reader when a book isn't "romance" when it comes to the love story. You don't automatically assume a HEA. As a writer you have more leeway to tell a love story as you feel it needs to be said if you don't go with a traditional romance label.

As a side-note to explain my angst, I label my work as "dark romance" or "miserable love story" and it still draws confusion. I think a big part of that is carrying the romance label. This is why I'm seriously exploring another way to market my fiction. However, because the main focus of my work is dark, non-PC, love stories that automatically brings romance to mind because of the love story. I'm very confused. 

As a reader, I want to find those unique, challenging love stories but find it difficult whether I stay or break out of the romance section. *sigh*

Thanks again for bringing up one of the questions that's been plaguing me. I'm looking forward to reading more responses in the hopes of clearing some of my confusion.


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## kae (May 3, 2010)

Thanks one and all. A good thread. I learned something from all the responses.


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## Monique (Jul 31, 2010)

Very interesting question. I'd never really thought about the difference. I'll have to noodle on it and maybe change the name of my book.


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## purplepen79 (May 6, 2010)

@Monique

You and me both.  I never thought too much about the difference, but it definitely affects how a story is marketed.  Thanks for this thread and the thoughtful responses, y'all.


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## K. A. Jordan (Aug 5, 2010)

4Katie said:


> I just wish people would understand that there's a difference between romance and sex. Complementary, certainly, but two TOTALLY different things!


Not only that, but too often there isn't any LOVE in the Romance. Red hot sexual attraction - quivering bunnies - are not love. Having said that - the most difficult emotions to write are the romantic scenes and the emotional scenes that convey the love between characters.

A writer has to be a bit of an amateur shrink - delving into the human mind to figure out what makes humans tick. Part shrink, part poet - a craftswoman (or craftsman) who paints with words.

I think that Indie romance writers have an advantage because they don't have to conform to the "Voice" of an imprint. I took advantage of having a free hand to write the kind of story that I enjoy reading. (Good thing when you have to read it 50 times.)


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## Daphne (May 27, 2010)

Thank you all for this very interesting discussion. My own conclusions are that we do have slightly different expectations of a Romance and a Love Story. I agree that describing a book as a romance is not a mark of literary status either way - I have read romances which are unquestionably great literature and also some which are enjoyable fluff and a whole gamut between. Neither do I think is tells us anything about sexual content - a romance could be sealed with a tender kiss or be positively raunchy - and a love story could be strongly sexual in content. However, I think with a romance we expect the relationship between the central characters to be pivotal in the narrative and that we do also expect a happy ending - in other words, we expect the story to be about the coming together in love of two people. A love story might give us exactly this too, but it does not promise a happy ending and our minds are probably more open to the possibility of a bitter or tragic outcome. I also think that a romance suggests the coming together of two people over a relatively short passage of time - I would not expect a romance to make me wait for the couple to be brought together in old age after the bitter struggles of life, whilst a love story may do just that. Finally, I would expect a romance to be between two individuals for whom physical attraction was a vital  ingredient in the relationship, whereas a book could rightly call itself a love story whilst telling the tale of a relationship between two friends without their being any sexual element.


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## jason10mm (Apr 7, 2009)

Not that I have ever read either one, just my totally invented assumption would be that a romance novel is more "fantastical" in tone and setting, plus come with much more purple prose  A love story ought to be more grounded in the reality of the setting and deal with themes in a more mature and practical way. 

Of course this stuff even creeps into stories I read, stuff like the Eric Lustbader Linnear novels have plenty of purple prose and some level of romance, even if it is subordinate to the martial arts and thriller plot. Guy romance, if you will 

As opposed to soemthing like "Lonesome Dove" which had several romances dealt with in a realistic, subtle way, surrounded by cowboy gunslinging. Guy love story


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## purplepen79 (May 6, 2010)

K. A. Jordan said:


> A writer has to be a bit of an amateur shrink - delving into the human mind to figure out what makes humans tick. Part shrink, part poet - a craftswoman (or craftsman) who paints with words.
> 
> I think that Indie romance writers have an advantage because they don't have to conform to the "Voice" of an imprint.


Interesting point--in a love story or romance, I'm always looking for the why--why these two particular characters are attracted to each other, why they come together (even if there is an attraction, sometimes one or both characters aren't at the right point in their lives), why it works out or doesn't. If a writer answers the whys to my satisfaction, it's a great, character-driven story. I hate books where the author forces two characters together to fit the plot.


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## K. A. Jordan (Aug 5, 2010)

There is some truth to 'opposites attract' but it is more of a chemical/genetic thing.

In 'real life' I've noticed that people who have values in common stay together...not the couples who are crazy with lust. Lust burns out in a few weeks or months. It is more fun to write that kind of 'fatal' attraction - but the reader will look at them and think "HEA? No way!"

To me, _romance_ is the intimate moments of emotional connection. These moments lead to the fun, sexy scenes...or not if the writer wants to keep Him & Her apart. I like the concept of courtship, no matter who decides to be the aggressor. (In my book they take turns. She invites him to dinner, he takes her out for a day of rollercoasters.)


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## HeidiHall (Sep 5, 2010)

I don't know why, but I've always been of the opinion that a love story is tragic, while a romance is joyous. The movie Love Story is a perfect example; yes there are joyous moments, but on the whole it is simply SAD! I don't want to feel the highs only to end on a low...I still feel like crying when I even think of The Notebook! But I think a romance takes you through the highs, might have a couple lows, then leaves you with the _and they lived happily ever after _ conclusion. 
Then again, I'm a hopeless romantic!


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## Lyndl (Apr 2, 2010)

I lean towards the idea that a romance is ‘happily ever after’.  A love story can be happy, sad or something in between.    

The Streisand/Redford movie “The Way We Were” is one I’d call a love story, but definitely not a romance.  I remember being quite shocked at the end, somehow I just hadn’t realised that they wouldn’t live happily ever after.


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## EliRey (Sep 8, 2010)

I'm a sap about love. I like reading/writing stories about two people who simply can not be happy with anyone else..the real deal. They may have experienced romance at other times in their lives but NEVER like this. Even in my YA romance novel they are only 17 when they meet yet you find yourself rooting for them to be together and stay together forever. Of course it's not that simple right? But I wouldn't call it a romance more so than a true love story. =D So yes.. I think there  is a BIG difference.


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## Susan Speers author (Oct 10, 2010)

Is there a difference between a musical and an opera?

I once read in a wonderful book called Sarah by Marguerite Harmon Bro that the heroine would not be successful on stage in an operetta because she would sing of love instead of sentiment.


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## purplepen79 (May 6, 2010)

Azure said:


> Is there a difference between a musical and an opera?
> 
> I once read in a wonderful book called Sarah by Marguerite Harmon Bro that the heroine would not be successful on stage in an operetta because she would sing of love instead of sentiment.


Good point. Your post made me ponder the depth factor, as in maybe we expect love stories to be more nuanced and have more depth than romances?


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## barryem (Oct 19, 2010)

I've read a few romance books by a few writers; always because I let someone talk me into reading it so I would come to understand that romance books are worthwhile.  I'm still not convinced.

I've also read a lot of love stories, as has anyone who's done much reading at all.

I don't see the difference so much in terms of subject matter as in terms of style.  The romance writers I've read have a few gimmicks they like to use over and over that I find offensive.  Love stories that do those things are, to me, fluffy romance novels and not to be taken seriously.

An example of a gimmick commonly employed by the maybe 10 romance writers I've read:  the main character or the character in a scene says or does something that the reader really can get into but that's a truly stupid thing to do or say in the circumstances...something that gives us instant gratification even though it portends the ruination of the character and the story.  And then the narrator says something like "that's what she would have liked to say if she'd been able to."  And I'd like to strangle the author at that point.  What a cheap trick!  Romance writers should be ashamed of themselves!  I'd be ashamed to have someone who plays such cheap tricks as a neighbor!

And there's another side to the style of romance writers:  they don't give us hints and clues to let us get to know the characters in the book so we can learn to predict them a little, which is a big part of identifying with characters.  They simply tell us who and what they are and why they do what they do.  Identify be damned!  They aren't subtle enough for that.

And yes I know many of you are now going to reply to this with the name of some fluffy romance writer I should read who doesn't do any of these things, but sorry.  Believing people who said that in the past is why I've already suffered through about 10 romance writers and I won't do it again.  If that makes me a bigot then so be it.

On the other hand, I've read many good love stories by many good authors.  For some reason the first thing I thought of when reaching into my head for an example was Pearl S. Buck's "The Good Earth", which is a lot of things but one of those is very much a love story.

Barry


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## Monique (Jul 31, 2010)

Sounds like you've simply read some bad books. But, don't worry, I'm not going to try to change your mind about romance writers.


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## barryem (Oct 19, 2010)

Monique said:


> Sounds like you've simply read some bad books. But, don't worry, I'm not going to try to change your mind about romance writers.


Thank you. 

And yes I have read some bad ones: almost all recommended by fans of romance novels who's opinions on other books I respect. They were going to be the books that changed my mind.

Barry


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## Monique (Jul 31, 2010)

I'm sorry you were burned, but know there are those of us out there who don't stink on ice.

ETA: I guess that was meant to sway your opinion. Forget I said it. Be as bigoted as you want.


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## K. A. Jordan (Aug 5, 2010)

Barry, I understand where you are coming from - even though I write women's fiction/romance, I agree there is a certain common style.

However, romance is the number one selling genre - the most read and the biggest money maker. What I've found is that self-published romance writers aren't as tied to the tropes and styles.  

Every genre has it's pros and cons. I've got my pet peeves with both romance and love stories. Too often romance lacks a true feeling of love and affection between the characters before they hit the bedroom. While a lot of love stories are dark and tragic. 

It takes a lot of attempts before a writer hits their stride, no matter what the genre may be.


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## Thalia the Muse (Jan 20, 2010)

To me (and admittedly I have not read a great many romances) the difference is the aspect of wish-fulfillment. In romances, it seems that the hero conceives an all-consuming passion for a woman as the One True Perfect Creature who can redeem and perfect his life (I believe the Smart Bitches refer to this as the "magic hoo-ha principle") and becomes devoted to her in a way that doesn't generally happen among real people. It's not so much a story about what happens when people fall in love so much as an image of love the way that readers wish it could be. And I don't think there's anything wrong with reading for wish-fulfillment -- that's what the men's adventure genre offers as well -- but it's not a wish that resonates for me, I don't find it a very INTERESTING way to look at human relationships.

Actually, I suppose by that definition Jane Eyre would indeed be a romance novel -- and I do love Jane Eyre! It's such a quirky book, though, and Rochester isn't exactly Fabio.


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## barryem (Oct 19, 2010)

K. A. Jordan said:


> However, romance is the number one selling genre - the most read and the biggest money maker. What I've found is that self-published romance writers aren't as tied to the tropes and styles.


I'm not against reading romance novels for those who enjoy them. I think everyone should read whatever they like. I used to love reading Richard S. Prather's Shell Scott novels. They're as bad as any romance novels but I enjoyed them and I read them. I have several as audiobooks now and I listen to one from time to time for a fun change of pace.

I don't see any reason to apologize for enjoying Shell Scott books and I don't see any reason people who like romance novels should apologize for reading them. Reading is a very personal thing.

That said, I'm always teased about the Shell Scott novels by my friends. I take it with good grace and I feel free to tease them about their romance novels. But I know that a lot of them have very good taste in reading matter even though they do enjoy romance novels, and, of course, I have the best taste of all even though I like Shell Scott novels. 

I think Prather wrote some very bad books. I don't care. I'm sure romance readers feel the same way about their books. Some are sensitive and defensive about it so I try not to be too offensive in my teasing, but teasing there will be. 

Barry


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## AnnetteL (Jul 14, 2010)

As others have said, Romance is a genre with pretty clear lines. The focus needs to be on the couple and what is getting in the way of them being together, and in the end, they ARE together.

Then you have books with romantic elements, but the focus is, say, on the suspense--tada!--romantic suspense.

Or the reverse--I have friend who wrote a romance that has suspense in it. She calls it a suspenseful romance.

I recently read a fantastic book that some people told me was a romance, so I went in expecting the happily ever after.

Slight problem: it wasn't a romance.

Just like Miss Marple has to find who done it at the end or it's not a mystery, the couple needs to be together at the end, or it's not a romance. It could still be a_ great_ story (a love story, a tragedy, any number of things) but it's not, technically, a romance.

This book was like that. It had a bittersweet, melancholy ending that fit the book, but it threw me for a loop since I was expecting the rules of the romance genre.


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## K. A. Jordan (Aug 5, 2010)

I have a love/hate relationship with romance novels. 

I have 'issues' with the traditional category Harlequins - but some of my favorite novels are HQN - an imprint of Harlequin. I write both contemporary and paranormal romance or romantic suspense but my books don't fit the formula. A category romance should be 70% romance and 30% plot. 

I write the opposite, so technically I write women's fiction. 

On the subject of love stories - I read "Love Story" when it came out, forever ago. I used a whole box of tissues and have associated the term 'love story' with that book ever since. That is not a good thing. 

Barry - I don't mind the teasing. I get plenty from my husband. There are half-finished books all over the house, and I'm glued to the laptop promoting my book. 

There is a lot of ammuntion for humor in the romance genre, starting with Fabio and ending with Vampires the genre has left itself wide open. I've read some great satire romances.


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## EliRey (Sep 8, 2010)

My .02, I guess it also depends on what you go into the romance novel expecting. Romance, in many ways is a fantasy. There is no perfect woman or man but we sure like fantasizing about them. In romance novels that fantasy comes to life... you just have to be willing to go with it as much as you know it's not as true to life as we know. That is why so many people read right? To get away from real life for a little bit.. =/


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## Ian Weaver (Oct 9, 2010)

Hi

How about this for a distinction. I write Action & Adventure stuff but there are a couple of love interests running through the story, both critical to the plot. Some readers would go as far as to call it a love story, but by no stretch of the imagination is it (what I would consider to be) a romance.

Ian


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## miss_fletcher (Oct 25, 2010)

I hear romance and think Pretty Woman. I hear love story and think Romeo & Juliet. 

To me romance is more superficial, and focuses on the wooing/courtship part of the relationship. A love story is something that transcends that, focusing on the actual emotion.

That said, I love romance as a genre.


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## Sandra Edwards (May 10, 2010)

flanneryohello said:


> It's pretty clear that Nicholas Sparks considers "love stories" to be more literary and worthy of more respect, but I think that's kind of...well, snobbish, for lack of a better term. I'm not the type of person to subscribe to the theory that a sad ending makes something better or more legitimate in any way. It's entirely possible to produce an amazing, transcendent, "literary" romance novel, just like it's possible to produce a mediocre love story.


ITA with your assessment.

IMO...the only difference between a love story and a romance is that one is required to have an HEA.

Sandy


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