# Did Mickey Mouse Rob You Blind Recently? Try Snodgrass Vacation!



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

My edgy new satire about Disney World and the people who love it is on Kindle now. Like my other stories over there it's cheap as heck, too.

[note: I hope I'm not committing any violations here. I feel all slimy doing this.]









http://www.amazon.com/Snodgrass-Vacation-ebook/dp/B002U0KXR8/ref=pd_rhf_p_img_4

Here's what it's all about:

Dave Jevik wasn't too happy to hear that his wife had scheduled a family vacation to Snodgrass World Resort with the Zandanels. Loudmouth Vinnie is hard to put up with for an hour, let alone a week. But when Vinnie spots wheelchair-bound George Van Morrison in first class on the flight to Florida, the dreaded trip takes on a sense of purpose. Van Morrison claims he was injured at a restaurant owned by Dave's friend back home and the lawsuit has already been filed.

Dave and Vinnie just know he's faking it and they have a week at Snodgrass World to save the restaurant by proving it. They'll have to dodge fleets of wheel chairs and scooters long enough to expose him while taking in park attractions like 'Brutal Yet Fun and Lovable Buccaneers' and 'Showcase of Random Allied Countries.'

Vinnie's sharp-elbowed wife is indispensable as she leads the way past line-cutters, other people's obnoxious children and the maniac driving the scooter with the on-board colostomy bag. When they befriend a crotchety bartender back at the hotel, Dave and Vinnie unexpectedly tap an inside source that just might help them get their man.

Anybody who's ever taken a trip to Orlando will recognize most of what they read about in Snodgrass Vacation, a politically incorrect satire of theme park life.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Dave--

don't feel "slimy" about letting readers know about your book! Welcome to KindleBoards and the Book Bazaar, a great place for authors and readers.

Don't worry, no violations (yet)!  You'll want to read the Forum Decorum, especially the part that pertains to authors http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,36.msg75.html#msg75.

In particular, we request that you not artificially "bump" your thread more than once a week (you are always allowed to respond to member posts, like this one!) And we ask that reviews not be posted in their entirety. You can post a snippet and a link to the actual review but not the whole review, thanks! Other than that, we don't have a lot of rules.

Again, welcome to KindleBoards! Looking forward to your posts around the forum!

Betsy & Ann
Book Bazaar Moderators


----------



## CS (Nov 3, 2008)

Thanks, Dave. I grabbed a sample. I'm a big fan of your other four books.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks CS.  I remember telling you I was working on this in an email from last January.  It's a lot different from anything I ever wrote before.  Like any writer, I love my own words way too much.  Last night I was listening to the mechanical robot voice on my Kindle read some of the funnier parts, I was LMAO as the kids say...

Thanks again.  I wish I could make it free...


----------



## koland (Nov 24, 2008)

daveconifer said:


> Thanks again. I wish I could make it free...


You can ... on smashwords! That also lets those with other ereaders see your work.


----------



## Tangiegirl (Dec 21, 2008)

Just had to click this without even sampling.  I grew up and then raised my own family in the shadow of the mouse...   

Thanks for letting us know about it and for the great price.  Appreciated.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

koland said:


> You can ... on smashwords! That also lets those with other ereaders see your work.


Koland, thanks. I'm going to try to learn how Smashmouth works. I mean Smashwords...


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Well, it's been about ten days and I still haven't heard from any Disney lawyers. Maybe I can get away with making fun of Disney World after all. So far so good.










http://www.amazon.com/Snodgrass-Vacation-ebook/dp/B002U0KXR8/ref=pd_rhf_p_img_1

I did get an email from somebody who didn't like my barbs about crazy scooter riders. Loosen up, will ya! At least somebody read it.


----------



## hackeynut (Dec 16, 2008)

daveconifer said:


> Well, it's been about ten days and I still haven't heard from any Disney lawyers. Maybe I can get away with making fun of Disney World after all. So far so good.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

You're not in the story, Hackey -- you're too reasonable.  But the people you described make an occasional appearance...


----------



## MidnightAria (Feb 24, 2009)

daveconifer said:


> Well, it's been about ten days and I still haven't heard from any Disney lawyers. Maybe I can get away with making fun of Disney World after all. So far so good.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Amen! I saw the title of this thread and had to check it out. Disney is my favorite place to go. I even lived down there for four years when we were stationed at Patrick AFB and been to Disney too many times to count. I am excited about reading it as I have experienced it from a local and a tourist and to me a lot of the time, it really doesn't feel like everyone thinks its the Happiest Place on Earth. Oh and the people with the huge baby strollers that bump into me on accident when trying to get down the sidewalks need to just not bring their kids if they can't walk around. Child leashes don't count....Oh my have I started a rant! In any case, thank you for promoting this and I look forward to it  Have a great day!


----------



## CS (Nov 3, 2008)

This is definitely on my to-read list, but it hits a little too close to home.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

CS said:


> This is definitely on my to-read list, but it hits a little too close to home.


CS, just so you know -- the story doesn't trash Disney or the people that go there at all. It's just a little bit of fun-poking, and mostly around the edges. I'm a big Disney World lover myself. I've been there often enough that I hardly had to do any research or look at any maps. As a matter of fact, my picture here on KB was taken in the Norway Pavilion gift shop in Epcot's World Showcase (aka Snodgrass World's Showcase of Random Allied Countries).

It just points out a few extreme behaviors by some of the people there, and how sensitive Disney is to anything that effects their image. There's one scene where the main characters speculate on what Snodgrass World employees will do when three people of different handicaps, ages and races reach the front of a line at the same time -- who will get the nod to go first? It gets somewhat politically incorrect, especially with Vinnie around, but it's mostly harmless.

It's not nasty or spiteful at all. The intention was to make it a fun story where readers think "Yeah, exactly!" Eighty percent of what's in the book is what I overhear in the lines and around the parks from people who don't realize that anybody is listening...


----------



## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

This looks like such fun.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

http://www.amazon.com/Snodgrass-Vacation-ebook/dp/B002U0KXR8/ref=pd_rhf_p_img_1

I've been in touch with a bunch of Disney-oriented web sites and lots of them have agreed to let me do a one-time plug of Snodgrass Vacation there. I've been telling them it's a story about a family vacation without mentioning that it's a spoof (heh heh). We'll see how that goes -- they might not like a few parts of it, like the wallet-emptying ritual presided over by the park mascot.

I had success with this strategy when I was pushing my high school wrestling books a few years ago.

I'm not going to do the plugs until the hard copy version is available, which won't be much longer.

Maybe this will work out. One thing I'm learning from watching The Book Bazaar forum is that there's no need to be self-conscious about self-promotion.


----------



## mom133d (aka Liz) (Nov 25, 2008)

MidnightAria said:


> Oh and the people with the huge baby strollers that bump into me on accident when trying to get down the sidewalks need to just not bring their kids if they can't walk around.


I worked at EPCOT for a semester and I have to say this was one of my big takeaways from it. I swore then and still swear that I will not bring my child to any amusement park until he is old enough to walk around all day by himself. I'm not carrying or pushing a stroller! My only exception is if someone else pays, then I'll think about it. 

Back on topic...I downloaded a sample Dave. I'm really looking forward to it. Samples remind me to buy - my tbr pile is quite long.


----------



## CS (Nov 3, 2008)

daveconifer said:


> CS, just so you know -- the story doesn't trash Disney or the people that go there at all. It's just a little bit of fun-poking, and mostly around the edges. I'm a big Disney World lover myself. I've been there often enough that I hardly had to do any research or look at any maps. As a matter of fact, my picture here on KB was taken in the Norway Pavilion gift shop in Epcot's World Showcase (aka Snodgrass World's Showcase of Random Allied Countries).
> 
> It just points out a few extreme behaviors by some of the people there, and how sensitive Disney is to anything that effects their image. There's one scene where the main characters speculate on what Snodgrass World employees will do when three people of different handicaps, ages and races reach the front of a line at the same time -- who will get the nod to go first? It gets somewhat politically incorrect, especially with Vinnie around, but it's mostly harmless.
> 
> It's not nasty or spiteful at all. The intention was to make it a fun story where readers think "Yeah, exactly!" Eighty percent of what's in the book is what I overhear in the lines and around the parks from people who don't realize that anybody is listening...


Dave, it wouldn't bother me if you trashed Disney or whatever else. LOL. As a lifelong Floridian, "Yeah, exactly" is how I did react to the sample.  That's what I meant by it hitting close to home. I am looking forward to seeing how else you satirize Florida.


----------



## Pushka (Oct 30, 2009)

Having been to Disney World a few years ago (an Aussie) I thought it is worth a buy!  Will read it when I get to the Christmas Break.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks Mom133 and Pushka.  Chris, I guess I was looking for metaphor where none existed.  I didn't pick on Florida much, just Disney...


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

I figured I'd post again because the dead tree version of Snodgrass Vacation just went live tonight.
Hence, the new, more professional cover.

Unfortunately my idea of promoting on the gazillion Disney World blogs isn't going as planned. I thought they'd like reading about their mecca, but I didn't realize how angry they'd be that I'm making fun of them in the story.

It's all a good-natured hoot, honest...

edit: the soldiers seem to prefer my other stuff rather than this one. Who knew?


----------



## Neekeebee (Jan 10, 2009)

I'll definitely be taking a look at this one. I read _Man of Steel_ a few months ago after somebody here (maybe CS?) recommended your books, and really enjoyed it.

N


----------



## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

daveconifer said:


> I figured I'd post again because the dead tree version of Snodgrass Vacation just went live tonight.


Oh goodie! I'm halfway through this one (it's been adding some much-needed laughs to an otherwise challenging week!) and I had been wondering whether it was available in paper form to send to the family with whom I once did the four-parks-in-four-days thing.   Of course some of them may recognize themselves in some of your characters, and never speak to me again...


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks, Neek.  I'm glad you liked M.O.S.  I think it's the best I've ever written.  I'm sure you can tell that Snodgrass isn't anything like it.  That's the best part about being, uh, what do they call us?  Independent?  We can write whatever we want, and I'm all over the place.

Susan, I hope you are getting a laugh or two out of it.  For me the only thing harder than keeping readers interested is making them laugh.  But I admit that I still laugh at Vinnie.  He's so dumb and tactless...


----------



## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

I've never been inside Disney World, but I applied for work there once. I talked to a French woman who was in training for Euro Disney before it opened. I told her I was also applying to Universal and other places in the area. She was highly offended. She said that if I really wanted to work for Disney, I should ONLY apply to Disney. I didn't get a job there.


----------



## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

daveconifer said:


> Susan, I hope you are getting a laugh or two out of it. For me the only thing harder than keeping readers interested is making them laugh. But I admit that I still laugh at Vinnie. He's so dumb and tactless...


Oh, more than one or two! It was actually a perfect book for this week since I've only had five-minute bits of reading time all week, so I needed something light and fun. And Vinnie made me both laugh and cringe because I used to work with someone just like that.  For twenty years.  

The ending kinda sorta hints at a possible sequel....?


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks for the kinds words, Susan.  I'm glad you liked it.  As somebody once remarked, almost all of us have a Vinnie.

You're the first person to mention my heavy-handed groundwork for a sequel.  I've coached intramural sports for years and I think I have even more material for writing about that than I had for Disney World.  If I feel like enough people liked Snodgrass I'm pretty sure there are going to be a couple of new soccer coaches showing up in Monroe, Indiana.

Thanks again!


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

edit:  forgot to mention that all my stuff is free on Smashwords.


      Before I can react my feet are jerked out from under me and my body is yanked painfully backwards.  The crowd flies past, then sky, and finally the spires and turrets of the castle flash through my field of vision.  When my body is finally still I'm hanging upside down, ensnared in some contraption.  I hear pocket change rattle on the stage as it falls out of my shorts.

    “Check his pockets!” The Squirrel commands.  “Check everywhere.  He might still have some money hidden somewhere.”  Coins are still dropping onto the stage when a gaggle of webbed feet appear around my face.  My car keys and sunglasses are yanked from my pockets by two ducks, while several others scoop up the change that has already fallen out.  “Don’t worry about the glasses,” the Squirrel squeaks.  “But make sure you get those keys.  Take his vehicle to the wholesale lot.”

    It has to be a joke.  This is crazy!  But when do they let me go?  My family seems to have disappeared.

    “He’s not in the clear yet,” the Squirrel says after the ducks all take a step back.  “Who’s doing the cavity search?  Toothy?”

    That’s it.  “Cut me down!” I thunder.  “What’s the matter with you people?  Get me down!  Can’t you see that it’s a damn squirrel?  Get me—“

    “Dave!  Dave!  Wake up!”  I feel hands shaking me back and forth.  Suddenly I’m back in my own bed.  Not hanging.  No manacles.  No fuzzy animals.  And most thankfully, no threat of invasion of any bodily orifice.  I open my eyes and see Marcie, who is just starting to laugh.  

    “I think somebody was dreaming about William Squirrel,” she teases.

    “It was a damn nightmare,” I mutter.

    “You might as well get up now,” she says.  “The Zandanels will be here in an hour and then it’s on to Florida for our Snodgrass Vacation!”


edit:  forgot to mention that all my stuff is free on Smashwords


----------



## MidnightAria (Feb 24, 2009)

I just finished this book this weekend and it made my Top Ten list for the contest on the boards  I referred my dad to it as well because he was there on many of the trips and I know he would appreciate it from a parent's perspective. I loved your descriptions of the locations as I felt as if I was back there and you even mentioned the meanies with the strollers! I have a friend that worked there for a few years and worked in It's a Small World. He stated that if you drank the water you had to get a tetanus shot....makes you wonder....

I will keep my eyeballs peeled for the scouts this Thursday when I head down there! I will be sure to check out more of your work. Thank you again for the great read.


----------



## jpmorgan49 (Feb 10, 2009)

Dave, I just bought your book and am going to read it on the way to our annual vacation to Disney World on Thursday!!!!
jp


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Hi Midnight and JP. Thanks for the kind words. There's an imposing 2-star lambast of Snodgrass Vacation guarding the gate on Amazon so I appreciate that somebody read the story in spite of it. Nobody loves Disney World more than I do. Heck, I didn't have to do much research because I know those parks so well. That doesn't mean there aren't a lot people doing crazy stuff that I can make fun of. I'm glad you liked it.

JP, I hope you have a great trip. With any luck you'll see some of the stuff from the book. I'll guarantee right now that there will be a flash of lightning when Pallitt pops out of that barrel. There always is. Who knows, maybe when you go next year there will be copies of SV available in every Disney gift shop. [Yeah right. I'm just glad no lawyers have called, either from Disney or the scooter rental company that I stole the cover photo from . ]


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Remember when I said 'this book wrote itself?'

Check out this Disney griping forum I found:

http://www.mouseowners.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=57

It's a forum dedicated to griping about bad behavior in Disney. This is practically the entire content of Snodgrass Vacation.

Thread titles include:

'Parents, Control Your Kids!'

'Too Much PDA on Pirates'

'The Things People Do'

'Wheelchair Fire Drills'

'PA Man Convicted of Groping Minnie Mouse'

'Pervert Reported at Typhoon Lagoon'

'Making Hubby Wait in Line...Then cut all the Way Through to Get to Him'

Too bad they won't let me plug there -- they don't do commercials even for this book which is currently FREE ON SMASHWORDS.


----------



## Neekeebee (Jan 10, 2009)

I recently read _Snodgrass Vacation_ (finished in 2 days) and have to tell you it made me laugh out loud! Really enjoyed the interactions between Dave and Vinnie, and would love to see a sequel!  My only complaint? It ended too quickly! 

N


----------



## jpmorgan49 (Feb 10, 2009)

I also just finished Snodgrass Vacation and found it very entertaining. Having visited Disney at least 20 times in my life I could identify with the entire book, although I never new a Van Morrison type   
jp


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks so much, N and JP!

I knew I was taking a chance when I wrote this.  For one thing, I never wrote comedy before.  I'm glad to hear that there are people who actually laughed.  

Also, I correctly predicted that there would be many people who wouldn't like the premise.  Some of the people at the Disney sites and in other places absolutely hated it, as a matter of fact.  Tons of people love to complain about bad behavior at Disney but love to complain about my book about bad behavior at Disney even more.

So thanks, you made my millenium, N and JP...


----------



## matte633 (Nov 30, 2009)

Hey man, this sounds  hilarious!  Sounds like you've been to Disney a time or two   I lived down the street for the first 30 years of my life, and you hit the nail on the head about the people there, it seems!


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

matte633 said:


> Hey man, this sounds hilarious! Sounds like you've been to Disney a time or two  I lived down the street for the first 30 years of my life, and you hit the nail on the head about the people there, it seems!


Thanks Matt! I think it's funny and harmless but I'm surprised at how many people are put off by the humor. People love this or hate it. Some folks like spoofs as long is doesn't spoof anything.

The good news is that it's free on Smashwords so they can only hate it so much.

Vinnie: "Check it out, here comes the barmaid. Wow, look at those cans!"
Dave: "Chill out, will you? You're in Snodgrass."
Vinnie: "What? No, I mean, look on her tray. Is that the new Budweiser logo?"


----------



## KathyluvsKindle (Apr 13, 2009)

Hi Dave

On my way home from Phoenix last week I was stuck in Cleveland due to weather. I wanted something to take my mind off the situation and started your book. LOVED IT! It made a difficult situation enjoyable. Please, a sequel.

Kathy


----------



## luvkin (Sep 25, 2009)

We are frequent visitors to Mickeyland in Florida and after living here for a very long time, I can't wait to read your book.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

I'm the wimpiest person on the planet.  I saw that somebody had posted in this thread, figured it was someone who disliked it and so avoided looking.  Just now I was thinking that I am bummed out about something else anyway so it would be a good time to get it over with.  When I looked it was two nice notes!

Luvkin and Kathy, thanks for the kind words!   If I don't think it will irritate too many people I'll write a sequel.  I've already got Dave and Vinnie's new mission in mind (I think I mentioned it somewhere in this thread).


----------



## Flechette (Nov 6, 2009)

Dave, 

you've got a new review at Amazon that's alot more positive :-} (or will be up soon)


Thank you for this novel,  I'm a frequent guest at Disney and I thought you hit the nail soundly--- in fact I read this while crusing w/ Disney and I own a DVC timeshare too~  I've forwarded a link to several friends 

I hate to say how much I recognized Nancy, as me, with the exception that I don't plan out the rides just the meals lol~

the first year we went w/ friends -- they weren't thrilled beforehand at my insistance in planning out stuff.  After the trip they raved at how smooth the trip was and gave credit where it was due   didn't hurt that I got us on Pirates the last day it was open before rehab, which happened to be out first day there--- 

Anyway thanks again, and I will be checking out the rest of your work


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Flechette said:


> Dave,
> 
> you've got a new review at Amazon that's alot more positive :-} (or will be up soon)
> 
> ...


Flechette, thanks for the gracious review! Maybe it'll balance out the other one.

You made a good point about the plot. I know it's inane. I considered not including a plot at all and we had a discussion in a comments thread on Evil Editor last spring when I was writing this. I decided that a screen writer might be able to get away with having no real plot in a movie (a relevant example might be VACATION) but it doesn't work as well in a book. Without the business of exposing the bad guy I wouldn't have been able to impose a story arc and come to some kind of conclusion.

Thanks again!...


----------



## KayakerNC (Oct 7, 2009)

Dave Conifer
I admit it, I'm a nit-picker.  
I found the chapter regarding the broken camera a little off.  Since the camera was a digital, I figured one of the guys should have looked for the memory card among the debris.  
Maybe you could add a sentence or two to cover that. 

Other than that, I found the book to be a fast, amusing read.  
I was disappointed to come to the end, and would like to add my vote for a sequel.  
Thanks again for the great story.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

KayakerNC said:


> Dave Conifer
> I admit it, I'm a nit-picker.
> I found the chapter regarding the broken camera a little off. Since the camera was a digital, I figured one of the guys should have looked for the memory card among the debris.
> Maybe you could add a sentence or two to cover that.
> ...


Kayaker, that's a good point and I tend to be a nit-picker too (as best I can). I will add that! I'm glad you like other parts...


----------



## Micknmin (Aug 8, 2009)

Dave,
I just finished reading your book today and LOVED it!  I've made way too many trips to Disney World over the years, and loved figuring out which ride you were on or what park you were at (loved the names).  I laughed out loud many times throughout the book...I think my husband thought I was going crazy!  Thanks for the great book!
Holly


----------



## sethharwood (Dec 27, 2009)

I have to love the title of this post! I've also just released a collection of short stories on Kindle and though mine don't take place in Disney World, they're about how real life can be so different from the imagined Disney-style realities we see in movies and on TV.

I hope you guys will check them out! Lots of cool stuff here that I'll start to browse around...
I'm also not going to be bashful. Here's the details on my short stories, which are just $.99!

A Long Way from Disney, short stories of the 1980s. http://bit.ly/6G7f3u
In this collection of touching short stories by Iowa Writers' Workshop grad Seth Harwood, we are introduced to Adam Berkman, a young man growing up in a world that's very different from the depictions of American families he sees on TV. Like Boston to Orlando, Adam finds that his life is indeed A Long Way from Disney.

Yours,

Seth Harwood


----------



## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Dave,

Congratulations on the great reviews you're getting here from your readers. That has to be inspirational. I'm happy for you.  

WTG Dave!

sincerely,
Ricky


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Holly, I'm so glad you liked it.  You're the kind of person I had in mind when writing it.  I really like hanging out at Disney, a lot lot lot, but it there are a lot of ridiculous things going on there that just deserved to be spoofed.  It's all in fun.

Ricky, thanks for the kudos.  It always feels good when somebody says they enjoyed one's work.   It's especially gratifying to hear that I succeeded in making somebody laugh (with me, not at me).   This book is very different than anything else I wrote and in the first weeks the feedback was mostly negative.  I, being a rather wimpy guy, was ready to pull the plug on it.

Thanks!!


----------



## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Pull the plug on a successful book? Just reading the posts on this page tell me that you have something here. It may not appeal to everyone. No genre does. But it obviously appeals to quite a few.

Hey when you get down to the truth of the matter no book appeals to everyone. In some respects we're all niche marketers.

Keep up the good work!
Ricky


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

I didn't want to set up any new threads so I figured this was as good a place as any to mention that I'm setting the price of all my stuff (except the short story) back to .99.  

However, I like it around here and for all Kindleboarders it'll still be free.  The coupon codes are down in my signature.  These coupons will expire on January 15.

Thanks!

...dave


----------



## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

That's a modest price Dave. Thank you for your generousity.  

sincerely,
Ricky


----------



## Flechette (Nov 6, 2009)

daveconifer said:


> Flechette, thanks for the gracious review! Maybe it'll balance out the other one.
> 
> You made a good point about the plot. I know it's inane. I considered not including a plot at all and we had a discussion in a comments thread on Evil Editor last spring when I was writing this. I decided that a screen writer might be able to get away with having no real plot in a movie (a relevant example might be VACATION) but it doesn't work as well in a book. Without the business of exposing the bad guy I wouldn't have been able to impose a story arc and come to some kind of conclusion.
> 
> Thanks again!...


<shrug> I enjoyed the "expose the fraud" plotline,as I said at Amazon, it gave you other places to go. My comment was aimed more towards the other reviewer who felt you should have simply written a parody guidebook. Tho that could be a whole lot of fun too. 

wanted to add - I loved the "pay it forward" moment


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Flechette said:


> wanted to add - I loved the "pay it forward" moment


Thanks Flechette.

Like most of what's in this book, the "pay it forward" scenario really happened to me. I was in the same situation as Greencap and it was a scary time in the Magic Kingdom...


----------



## ReeseReed (Dec 5, 2009)

This is the book I'm most excited to get on my new kindle!  Can't wait until I'm able to order it and then read this.  My family and I made several trips to Disney when I was younger, even did the Disney cruise when it first started (now *that's* torturous!)  You are first on my list


----------



## Pushka (Oct 30, 2009)

I bought this a while ago and only read it on NYD.  I really enjoyed it!  Thanks Dave.


----------



## 5711 (Sep 18, 2009)

Dave, I wanted you to know I have a couple of your books and plan to get to them one of these days. This book hustlin' is tough stuff, and makes it even harder to read (and write). I'm impressed with your work rate. 

And just so everyone knows -- comedy is hard! About the hardest writing there is. 

Keep it up!

Steve


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks Reed.  I hope you check it out but be sure to get the freebie on Smashwords.  Pushka, I'm glad you liked it.  A quick one-day read is all it is and it isn't worth more than one sitting.

Steve, don't sweat it.  We all pay it forward on this board.  I'll say this about writing funny stuff -- it was scary, kind of like a stand up comic who worries that he'll be standing in front of five-hundred straight faces after he delivers the punch line.  I found that even if I had a funny line to deliver, I sometimes had to tinker with the rhythm and pull a word here or there so the joke didn't get lost in the syllables.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

#2 on the Humor list at Smashwords, second only to the great BOOMERANG by Alan Hutcheson!


----------



## ReeseReed (Dec 5, 2009)

daveconifer said:


> #2 on the Humor list at Smashwords, second only to the great BOOMERANG by Alan Hutcheson!


Way to go, dave! That rocks!! Still can't wait to get my kindle and read this one!


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

ReeseReed said:


> Way to go, dave! That rocks!! Still can't wait to get my kindle and read this one!


Thanks Reed.

Ever since you told us that the head bump in Childproofed really happened it's all I can think about when I see your name. Ouch!


----------



## ReeseReed (Dec 5, 2009)

daveconifer said:


> Thanks Reed.
> 
> Ever since you told us that the head bump in Childproofed really happened it's all I can think about when I see your name. Ouch!


LOL dave! I took a pic the morning after it happened, but I think I lost it when my hard drive recently crashed...if I can find it I'll have to send it to you so you can get a visual, LOL!


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Couldn't figure out why all of a sudden tons of Kindle copies were selling. After googling I found that there's a thread about Snodgrass Vacation on a Disney forum. I tried for months to get some run on these boards because I knew Disney veterans would like this but the moderators treated me like a vampire. It's kind of cool to see strangers talking the book up. For a few minutes I'll sit back and let it happen like I'm Dan Brown or something. Then I'll go back to being me.

http://www.mousebuzz.com/forum/mouse-trap/53603-snodgrass-vacation.html


----------



## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

LOL Dave,

You are way cooler than Dan Brown.

Congrats on the acclaim. It couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

sincerely,
Ricky


----------



## ReeseReed (Dec 5, 2009)

Awesome news!!  Man, what a great feeling that must be to discover your work being talked about   That rocks!


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks Reese. It was rather cool. Very cool, actually. I considered signing up and coming into that thread but then I thought "Way to ruin a party, Dave!" They don't want to hear from me, it would probably [anger them]. Mostly I wanted to tell the Nook people (who were grousing about Amazon) that they could get a Nook version over at Smashwords.

Thanks again...


----------



## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

So... <ahem>.... while you're feeling all good about yourself and your book and life in general, how about getting some work done on that _sequel_ you promised? Hmmm?


----------



## ReeseReed (Dec 5, 2009)

daveconifer said:


> Thanks Reese. It was rather cool. Very cool, actually. I considered signing up and coming into that thread but then I thought "Way to ruin a party, Dave!" They don't want to hear from me, it would probably p*ss them off. Mostly I wanted to tell the Nook people (who were grousing about Amazon) that they could get a Nook version over at Smashwords.
> 
> Thanks again...


Well...if you'll PM me a link I'll be glad to pass that word along for you...


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Susan in VA said:


> So... <ahem>.... while you're feeling all good about yourself and your book and life in general, how about getting some work done on that _sequel_ you promised? Hmmm?


I've been so busy that I haven't written a word in a long time. I feel like a lost soul -- no WIP! Maybe that's the next logical choice since I have so many ideas.

Thanks Susan, you're too kind.

[I'm going to edit out the bad word I said in the previous post.]


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

ReeseReed said:


> Well...if you'll PM me a link I'll be glad to pass that word along for you...


Thanks Reese. The link is a few posts up. But it seems like a lot of work so don't kill yourself. Thanks!


----------



## ReeseReed (Dec 5, 2009)

daveconifer said:


> Thanks Reese. The link is a few posts up. But it seems like a lot of work so don't kill yourself. Thanks!


Kids are in bed, I'm here with my laptop and Ipod...I got nothing but time 

Just added you as my friend on facebook btw and fanned your page. Be sure to check your friend requests


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks Reese!  I'll do that...


----------



## ReeseReed (Dec 5, 2009)

I'm still waiting for them to approve my registration ()  Apparently this is quite the exclusive mouse club...


----------



## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Hi there Dave,

I finished your book today. I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed the read. I liked the interplay between Dave and Vinnie. It would make a great movie. I can just see Marcie from Married with Children as your Nancy and Chevy Chase for Dave.

I haven't been to Disney World, but I've been to Opryland Tennessee. I saw people leave the line at the river raft ride when they saw people getting off the ride soaked to the bone. That line in your book reminded me of that experience. So did the long lines as the day progresses. 

Thank you for writing such a wonderful book and making it available for readers at such a modest price.

sincerely,
Ricky


----------



## ReeseReed (Dec 5, 2009)

Finally got into the mouse club, and left a link to your smashwords edition


----------



## 5711 (Sep 18, 2009)

Congrats, Dave! That's a story I like to hear. By the way, did you know you can get your books on B&N/Nook through the Smashwords dashboard? Click Distribution Manager on the left side. Mine are there. Didn't know if you knew. 

Steve


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Steve Anderson said:


> Congrats, Dave! That's a story I like to hear. By the way, did you know you can get your books on B&N/Nook through the Smashwords dashboard? Click Distribution Manager on the left side. Mine are there. Didn't know if you knew.
> 
> Steve


Thanks, Steve. It was pretty cool, although they put their critic hats on after a few days. One poster said "it's not the greatest literature I've ever read..." and another replied "That's why it's only .99." Everybody's a critic.

I checked off the box at Smashwords to have my stuff distributed at BN a long time ago but so far they haven't shown up. I don't know exactly who to complain to...


----------



## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Dave,

Seriously, are you planning a sequel to this book? If so, do you have any idea when it might be available? I think I'm hooked. 

If not, I'm gonna be looking into Snodgrass anonymous.  

Ricky


----------



## Tigress780 (Oct 3, 2009)

I just read your book. I thought it was very good and quite entertaining. I'm a Floridian and have been to Disney several times, so I could really relate to the whole book.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks Tigress, I 'm glad you liked it.  As I said earlier, this book was really written by all the people I overhear everytime I'm at Disney.  I'm just the stenographer...


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Well, as I mentioned in the other thread I set up a Snodgrass Vacation page on Facebook.  I'm learning this as I go along and I haven't really found a single source for advice and tips on how to promote there.

I don't want to pay for anything -- to me the kicker about Facebook is that everybody is already there, and roughly sorted into 'marketing' groups.  It just doesn't seem right to pay for an ad.  So I've joined a bunch of Disneyish groups and posted a very short blurb in their discussions or on their wall, inviting them to "Fan up" to the Snodgrass Vacation page.

I have no idea what will happen.  Maybe this isn't acceptable behavior on Facebook.  Maybe they consider this spam.  With all the trivial stuff flying between members over there, I didn't think it would hurt to try.  I'll let everybody know what happens.  It looks like there are groups to suit just about every book written...


----------



## ReeseReed (Dec 5, 2009)

Just picked up my ecopy and read the first chapter on my snazzy new ipod touch.  LOVE the first chapter, can't wait to read more!!


----------



## RetTea62 (Aug 25, 2009)

I read SNODGRASS VACATION and really enjoyed it!  I'm going to look for the other books by this author now.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks RET, it always means the world to hear that somebody enjoyed something I wrote.

I feel all sheepish now because when you look in the cupboard you'll see that nothing else i wrote is like Snodgrass, my only comedy to date.  I guess that's the downside of writing whatever pops into my head.  Short attention span, that's my problem...


----------



## ReeseReed (Dec 5, 2009)

I'm to the point where they've just finished their first day at
the park, and I'm loving this story!  So funny!


----------



## ReeseReed (Dec 5, 2009)

Just finished it this morning, and MAN what a funny read!  Thoroughly enjoyed it, Dave.  Left my review at amazon.  Best of luck to you with this, it's truly great!


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks Reese, I'm glad you liked it and thanks for the gracious review.

Every time I look at this story the jokes get cornier.  Hopefully nobody's reading it more than once!


----------



## 5711 (Sep 18, 2009)

Dave, I finished Snodgrass, definitely enjoyed it, and gave it a review on Smashwords and Amazon. Even though you reviewed me, I wouldn't have reviewed yours if I didn't like it. I laughed but you also gave me things to think about -- and fear! -- as someone who doesn't have kids and hasn't been to an amusement park since I was a kid. Good job!


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks, Steve, I appreciate the kind words and the reviews!

For the record, tomorrow is the last day my stuff is going to be free.  I'm taking off my promoter hat and putting on my writer one so this is your last chance for a while to add these to your NTBR list...

TX


----------



## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Today's Feature at The Indie Spotlight

Wednesday: Dave Conifer - Snodgrass Vacation

http://www.theindiespotlight.com

Come up and read and leave a comment.

Edward C. Patterson
& Gregory B. Banks


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

I'm hosting the book club at NookBoards next month. So, I made all my books free for the rest of the week (until April 1 because I thought I'd let folks check them out and pick which one would be best for discussion.  That means they're free for everybody else too...  


Throwback :: coupon: YK27M
FireHouse :: coupon: TU67U
Man of Steel :: coupon: DQ98A
eBully :: coupon: QL66F
Snodgrass Vacation :: coupon: QA35S


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Hey, somebody laughed, and then gave this a four-star review!

"In a Snodgrass vacation, we follow two families as they attempt to make it through that magical amusement park we all know and love. I thought this book was a complete riot. I think part of that is due to the fact that I can identify with the plight through an amusement park, but my experience wasn't nearly as funny and riddled with on liners and funny characters. The book is told from the point of view of one of the fathers on the trip - Dave. I thought Vinnie's one-liners were hysterical. I had to bookmark some of them! Vinnie was probably my favorite character. Nancy was a really funny character - I need her to plan my next vacation! I thought the storyline was funny, but it also went somewhere as Dave and Vinnie were on a mission to prove a case of fraud. I liked this because a story about only an amusement park could possibly get boring. Didn't happen at Snodgrass though - Dave and Vinnie were anything bu boring! I am eagerly looking forward to a sequel."


----------



## jonathanbloom (Mar 12, 2010)

I picked up a Sample of all of your books. (That's like walking into a bookstore and tearing out the first few pages of a book, and going home, to see if you like it) I'm going to read Snodgrass as soon as I can!

*Edit:* I LOVE THIS BOOK! You captured Disney World from an interesting perspective!


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

jonathanbloom said:


> I picked up a Sample of all of your books. (That's like walking into a bookstore and tearing out the first few pages of a book, and going home, to see if you like it) I'm going to read Snodgrass as soon as I can!
> 
> *Edit:* I LOVE THIS BOOK! You captured Disney World from an interesting perspective!


Wow, thanks Jonathan. It's not everybody's cup of tea so I'm glad somebody is enjoying it.

Funny thing -- I was querying this out to agents last summer and fall. Just this afternoon I got a request to see it after seven months! I'm not even sure I care about that anymore although I sent the ms.


----------



## jonathanbloom (Mar 12, 2010)

I finished the book and loved it!

My dad finished the book too and he loved it!

This is a book I recommend to anyone who likes humor and has been to/heard of Disneyworld!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish (Feb 1, 2010)

Never been to Disney World, so this was all new to me. I went in for laughs, and I gots them. My review is up in case anyone wants to actually hear my opinon (hahahha, yeah right, he says to himself). In short, four-stars, funny, but had an annoying side-plot.

And the new cover is great  

David Dalglish


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Half-Orc said:


> Never been to Disney World, so this was all new to me. I went in for laughs, and I gots them. My review is up in case anyone wants to actually hear my opinon (hahahha, yeah right, he says to himself). In short, four-stars, funny, but had an annoying side-plot.
> 
> And the new cover is great
> 
> David Dalglish


Thanks David. I'll take four stars anytime, especially from you.

I can see how the plot could be annoying. Last year at this time I was debating publicly on Evil Editor (evileditor.net) whether or not this book needed any plot at all. The consensus was that a movie (like Vacation, for instance) could get away with being nothing but the description of a trip, but a book couldn't. There's got to be some kind of overarching, well, arc to it (or at least a half-arc. yuk yuk). Maybe we made the wrong call. Notice how I'm including an entire website as having responsibility for the part you didn't like?  So I just made up that dumb scenario hoping it might help squeeze out a laugh or two.

I'm just glad somebody considers it funny. I've said it over and over in this thread -- it was scary to stick my neck out and try to be funny because it's completely different than anything I've written...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish (Feb 1, 2010)

Half-Arc.

Oh god.

You are so fired.

David "Half-Arc" Dalglish.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

I just bumped the Kindle price of this and all my books from .99 to 1.99  (I don't know how long before a price hike goes into effect).  It seems I've become a believer in the "readers think .99 = trash" doctrine.

That agent that asked for the ms. of Snodgrass seven months after I queried?  He says he's halfway through and he likes it.  Cool!  I'm sure he'll find a dealbreaker any page now but it was still a neat email to receive...


----------



## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

daveconifer said:


> I just bumped the Kindle price of this and all my books from .99 to 1.99 (I don't know how long before a price hike goes into effect). It seems I've become a believer in the "readers think .99 = trash" doctrine.
> 
> That agent that asked for the ms. of Snodgrass seven months after I queried? He says he's halfway through and he likes it. Cool! I'm sure he'll find a dealbreaker any page now but it was still a neat email to receive...


Dave,

My sales improved when I moved book 1 from $1.00 to $1.99. By a wide margin.

Best of luck with the agent. I think it's a great book with a lot of potential.

Have a great day,
Ricky


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Ricky Sides said:


> Dave,
> 
> My sales improved when I moved book 1 from $1.00 to $1.99. By a wide margin.
> 
> ...


Thanks Ricky. Still haven't heard from that agent. With his track record I'm not expecting anything until Christmas.

I did get a nice comment on MobileReads though. Here it is (along with my reply in bold)

------------------

I tore through it and it was a fun book! I really enjoyed it. I kind of wish there was a sequel where the two families go on another family vacation somewhere else the next summer.

*Thanks Haggis! That's really all it's supposed to be. A fun book with a simple plot that is just robust enough to hang some humor on.

I've already started sketching out a sequel. You've heard of a 'beach read?' This is a 'beach write.' The families aren't going on another vacation (I'm afraid I'd do all the same jokes). Instead, Vinnie and Dave will be coaching an intramural soccer team. I've been storing up all my observations as a soccer coach and have a lot of material.

At one point I was thinking of having Dave and Vinnie find a time-travel machine so I could plop them in various critical points in world history. That would be fun, and I'd also do some spoofing on time travel novels. But then I decided it might be too derivative of Ted and Bill's Excellent Adventure. What do you all think?

Thanks again for taking the time to read my story. *

-------------------------------

and a nice comment on the Nookboard too!

Dave,
I read Snodgrass Vacation and was quite impressed - very funny stuff and you captured the theme park visitor mentality to a tee. I look forward to reading Man of Steel and eBully in the future.

Everyone out there should take advantage of his offer. This guy can flat-out write!!!!!


----------



## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

_Go for it, Dave!_

The time travel concept's been done before, but there are tons of post apocalyptic fiction books on the market too, and that doesn't discourage me. It's all in the slant you put on the project. If anyone can pull it off, you can.

You're a lot better writer than you give yourself credit for, Dave.

I'll even volunteer to be a Beta reader for you on the project.

LOL, I can just see them running from the time cops because they think they are mafia thugs or something of that nature. You could have the time cops making goofy mistakes because of flawed history records. Dressing like frontiersmen to infiltrate a subway, like astronauts to go to a volleyball game, etc. It'd be a riot.

Have a great day,
Ricky


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Ricky Sides said:


> _Go for it, Dave!_
> 
> The time travel concept's been done before, but there are tons of post apocalyptic fiction books on the market too, and that doesn't discourage me. It's all in the slant you put on the project. If anyone can pull it off, you can.
> 
> You're a lot better writer than you give yourself credit for, Dave.


I really am thinking of doing a time travel tale for these guys. Nancy will have to go, too.

Meanwhile, I just saw that Snodgrass Vacation is back to the #1 slot for humor over at Smashwords. Big fish in the small pond!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish (Feb 1, 2010)

daveconifer said:


> I really am thinking of doing a time travel tale for these guys. Nancy will have to go, too.
> 
> Meanwhile, I just saw that Snodgrass Vacation is back to the #1 slot for humor over at Smashwords. Big fish in the small pond!


A big fish in a small pond is still a big fish.

And in your case, it's wearing a hat and telling stand-up.

David Dalglish


----------



## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Dave,

Congratulations on the number 1 slot in humor at Smashwords. It doesn't surprise me though. I've read the book. 

Regarding the time travel thing, this time you could do a parody of Google. Have one of your characters grab the wrong laptop computer at a train station or airport. It looks identical to theirs, but belongs to a time cop.  By interfacing a computer program that looks suspiciously like Google Earth, they end up shifted in time, and the time cops frantically try to follow.

The person who activates the program shouldn't be the laptop owner, who would be intimately familiar with his unit and should realize that he had the wrong laptop immediately. But I can just see Vinnie banging away at what he thinks is his wife's laptop. Or Nancy trying to zero in on the destination to see the most efficient way out of the terminal and on to a hotel with what she thinks is Dave's laptop.

Anyway, it's just an angle that occurred to me as I thought about your time travel romp. I'm not trying to dictate anything to you. But such an angle could work out, and be hilarious as well. 

Have a great day,
Ricky


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

If you're not doing anything at 9:00 p.m. EST tonight, drop by the daveconiferfanpage and enter the Disney contest that's being run in the Discussions tab. Top three finishers win a signed copy of Snodgrass Vacation.

For details on how to play go to my fan page and click on the Discussions tab...


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

New review of Snodgrass Vacation is up at KindleObsessed.

http://www.kindleobsessed.com/book-rants/wormers-are-the-worst/

3 / 5 stars. I don't think a book as empty-headed as this should be eligible for more than three stars so I feel like I maxed out.

The best part is that there was no mention of my use of the horrific phrase "Another thing coming" -- you know, the one that began the demise of the English language...

"Happy reading my fellow Kindle-ites and remember: if you find yourself in an underground tunnel sporting an oversized dwarf head&#8230; something has gone terribly wrong."

p.s. The Disney Contest was a flop. Only three folks entered (including our own Reese Reed) so they're all getting copies...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish (Feb 1, 2010)

Sorry about the lack of entrants. However, I will say I read and thoroughly enjoyed Snodgrass Vacation, and that's as a Disneyworld virgin. Anyone wanting silly laughs should easily give this book a try.

David Dalglish


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Fitch V inspired me to blatantly and openly plug my book over in the -- shudder -- Amazon forums. I'm sure I'll get slammed, banned or shunned, but who cares? I'm not going to have anything new out until the end of the year. They'll forget my name by then.

Here's a link to my thread, but I'm not looking...

http://www.amazon.com/tag/kindle%20book/forum/ref=cm_cd_dp_rft_tft_tp?_encoding=UTF8&cdForum=Fx3RFWX8IMGF85E&cdThread=Tx3HF3HWJZLWN4V


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

From Barnes and Noble ---

Posted August 13, 2010, 10:30 PM EST: After returning from my vacation in California, this author had me laughing out loud, surpisingly throughout the whole book. I completely identified with his descriptions of vacationers lined up to go onto various amusement park rides. I even read some portions out loud to my spouse who found it quite entertaining. The author puts on paper the sarcasm that many would secretly think but never dare to say outloud. The story line wasn't deep by any means, but the antics were so "down to earth," you can't help but enjoy the light-hearted descriptions as the story unfolds.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish (Feb 1, 2010)

Very nice review, and also very accurate.


----------



## A Virginian (Aug 12, 2010)

Is the title a nod to Dickens?


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

A Virginian said:


> Is the title a nod to Dickens?


It's a tip of the cap to Locke, a wink at Socrates and a high-five for Kramden...


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Snodgrass is currently being discounted to 89 cents.  If you don't mind some political incorrectness and some good-natured Disney World bashing, you might get a few laughs from this.

Sadly, this trite treatise of tripe has always been my best seller...

Here's a snippet -- one of many instances where Nancy punishes other people's obnoxious kids.

    “Is it ‘Rollerama Day’ or something?” Vinnie asked after dodging a man jetting past on a scooter.  “I’ve never seen it this bad before.  When did America get so sickly that nobody can even walk?”

    A creature that could only be a pit bull or a little boy tormented me from behind as we advanced in line for our Star Wars ride.  When I heard a set of first-time parents begging and pleading with ‘Blair’ to be less bad I had my answer even without turning around.

    The next time his attention span was exceeded Blair pushed his way along the railing in front of Nancy and Vinnie while gaping open-mouthed at the display of droids.  After his third foray into her personal space I could see by the look in Nancy’s eyes that something was about to go down.  The next time Blair retreated I wished for his own good that he’d stay there but I knew he wouldn’t.  There was a good chance we were going to need a body bag.

    After another chunk of skin was sliced from the back of my legs I was as steamed as Nancy was, and welcomed the ‘Breach’ command that she quietly issued.  Knowing the drill, I stepped sideways.  Sure enough, empty-headed Blair shot through the gap within two seconds.  I slid back to my original position, sealing Blair into a dangerous envelope of angry Jeviks and Zandanels.  Katie and Justin showed that they’d been paying attention to Nancy’s morning instructions by slipping to the rear when they heard the ‘Wall’ command, forming an imposing outer shell.  I could hear Blair’s parents whimpering from behind us but his fate was now out of their hands.

    Nancy moved next to Blair, who didn’t fully understand the trouble he was in.  She swiveled at the hip several times without ever turning to face him.  The scene played out in slow motion for me.  With each twist her Durwood Duck backpack whipped savagely across his face.  She can’t even see him, I marveled.  That’s going to leave a mark.  Blair’s parents had penetrated the first line of defense by then.  I cleared my throat as loudly as I could when I saw Nancy’s elbow coming up.  “Release!” she whispered as she stood down.  Vinnie and I separated and allowed Blair to flee back through the lines to his parents.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Ah, tactless Vinnie Zandanel.  Will he ever learn to choose his words more carefully? I hope not, it would make the next book a lot less interesting.

~~~
    “Check it out, here comes the barmaid.  Wow, look at those cans!” Vinnie exclaimed.

    “Chill out, will you?  You’re in Snodgrass,” I told him.

    “No, I mean, look on her tray.  Is that the new Budweiser logo?” 
~~~
    We floated past a botanist in goggles with her hair tied back.  She was oblivious to us as she harvested a crop of bulbous, multicolored vegetables and sorted them by size onto plastic carts.

    “Look at the melons on that one!” Vinnie said loud enough for everyone on the boat, as well as the botanist, to hear.

    “What?” he asked helplessly as passengers turned backwards to get a look at him.  “What’s everybody looking at?  Those aren’t cantaloupes on the front cart?”    
~~~
    Loco Motive’s whistle blew and the train chugged and hissed.  It was already heading out of the station by the time a woman in tight shorts barreled past us and slammed her stroller against the closed steel gate.  

    “Nice caboose!” Vinnie remarked.
    
    “Geez, Vinnie, keep it to yourself,” I whispered.  “Nobody wants to hear that.”  
    
“What?  So I like trains.  Sue me.”
~~~ 
    I panicked when we heard a beeping sound behind us, thinking we’d been caught, but it was only a woman driving a golf cart towing a trailer full of condiments.  She was probably bound for the restaurant supply rooms.

    “Look at those jugs!” Vinnie said as she passed.  “They’re the biggest I’ve ever seen!”

    “Don’t get distracted Vinnie.”

    “Yeah, I know, but they sure go through a lot of ketchup in this place.  
~~~
    “Excuse me,” interrupted a smiling teenage girl in a grass skirt and a pair of Nikes, her name tag pinned to her bikini top.  “The next show doesn’t start until nine,” she told us as she kicked away a doorstop and allowed the door to swing shut.  “May I direct you to the resort?” she asked as she perched a box of tropical island props on her hip.

    “No thanks, we’re heading back to the beach,” I told her.  “Sorry.  I guess we’re lost.” 

    “Wrong turn,” Murph assured her.

    “Can we see your coconuts?” asked Vinnie.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Heading for Disney World?  Or just got back and are sick over the prices, other people's obnoxious children or how horribly everybody behaves?  Cool, because that's what Snodgrass Vacation is all about!  

"Anyone who loves Walt Disney World like I do, should enjoy this book. I love the way the book parodies a Disney vacation."

"I thought this book was a complete riot. I think part of that is due to the fact that I can identify with the plight through an amusement park, but my experience wasn't nearly as funny and riddled with on liners and funny characters." 

"Anyone who as done repeat vacations to the Big Mouse in Fl should get one heck of kick out of the novel. Dave Conifer gave voice to many of my unspoken thoughts while watching people cut lines, use strollers as weapons, gave a name to 'wormers' and 'scouts'."


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

A four-star review!

"In a Snodgrass vacation, we follow two families as they attempt to make it through that magical amusement park we all know and love. I thought this book was a complete riot. I think part of that is due to the fact that I can identify with the plight through an amusement park, but my experience wasn't nearly as funny and riddled with on liners and funny characters.  I thought Vinnie's one-liners were hysterical. I had to bookmark some of them! Vinnie was probably my favorite character. Nancy was a really funny character - I need her to plan my next vacation! I thought the storyline was funny, but it also went somewhere as Dave and Vinnie were on a mission to prove a case of fraud. I liked this because a story about only an amusement park could possibly get boring. Didn't happen at Snodgrass though - Dave and Vinnie were anything bu boring! I am eagerly looking forward to a sequel."


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Heading to Disney and need a plan?  Leave it to Nancy Zandanel.  You won't miss anything good and everybody else's obnoxious children won't be a problem for long.  

But if you see the guy with the on-board colostomy bag on his scooter -- run.  Fast...


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

If you like Disney world but are floored by some what you see there, you might like Snodgrass Vacation, my goofy satire on a family trip to Mouseland.  You might even get a few laughs out of it...


----------



## LarryEnright (Nov 27, 2010)

Just picked this one up a couple days ago and I am really enjoying it. I hope that doesn't mean I'm goofy! I would recommend it to anyone who has either been to Mickyland or is contemplating it. Nice read!


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Here's a website about bad behavior at Disney entitled "Walt Disney World| How Rude are You?"

http://www.howrudeareyou.com/tag/walt-disney-world/

It's almost like I wrote it.

If you are shocked (but yet amused by) the boarish antics, obnoxious kids, the sense of entitlement and the guy driving the scooter with an on-board colostomy bag, you should check out Snodgrass Vacation.


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Snodgrass II is in the works.  I'm actually working on three things at once until one of them asserts itself, and it looks like it's going to be this one.  

Vinnie, Dave and Nancy are back...


----------



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Has Mickey robbed you blind?  Shocked at how ordinary people behave once inside the Kingdom?  

Try Snodgrass Vacation and read about another guy's misery!


----------

