# Poll about first moves (Totally PG)



## VMars (Feb 8, 2009)

Okay, so me and some of my girl friends went to see "He's not that into you" and a huge discussion ensued afterwards about whether or not the girl should make the first move. I'm very interested to know what you think. 

Personally, I think it's fine either way, I guess it depends if a man is really shy or not. Thoughts? Experiences? Dating disasters?


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## Guest (Feb 22, 2009)

God, I'm old.


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## Gables Girl (Oct 28, 2008)

How about a I haven't and won't button?


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## Harmakhet (Feb 12, 2009)

I'm very equal opportunity.


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## VMars (Feb 8, 2009)

There you go Gabies Girl.  

And why do you say that Bacardi Jim?   You sure don't seem that way to me!


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## Gables Girl (Oct 28, 2008)

Thank you! I haven't needed to, yet.....


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

VMars said:


> And why do you say that Bacardi Jim?  You sure don't seem that way to me!


I'm with you, Jim.


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## Guest (Feb 22, 2009)

gertiekindle said:


> I'm with you, Jim.


*totally puts the cybermoves on Gertie*


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## Guest (Feb 22, 2009)

Bored yet?


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

Bacardi Jim said:


> *totally puts the cybermoves on Gertie*





Bacardi Jim said:


> Bored yet?


Gotta Ciggie?


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## Guest (Feb 22, 2009)

gertiekindle said:


> Gotta Ciggie?


Always.


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## pomlover2586 (Feb 14, 2009)

Well considering I asked out DH.........yes I have and would do it again.....some guys are just too shy


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## Vegas_Asian (Nov 2, 2008)

Okay....I'm still practically a kid to most of you, but I am usually make the first move. (I accidentally hit " Never made a move and never will" I meant to hit "Have and will again). Don't mind asking a guy on a dance or for a dance.

PS: There are two ways I use to approach a guy, but I prefer to use the cautious cute mousy approach. Seem hesitant to approach, unsure about asking...leaving the guy to make a date suggestion. Sorta a first move, but doesn't get to the guys who don't like to be asked (who like to make the first move). Of course, the guys I have dated, I've had to make it obvious that I was interested in dating them.

My first boyfriend: we knew each other for two years. My best friend and I figured he's never ask....So I asked him for a ride to a party. (I was car-less at the time) Mentioned a need for caffeine when he picked me up. Ended up staying at the cafe for a bit longer than we expected....our unofficial first date.


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

Vegas_Asian said:


> Okay....I'm still practically a kid to most of you, but I am usually make the first move. (I accidentally hit " Never made a move and never will" I meant to hit "Have and will again). Don't mind asking a guy on a dance or for a dance.


You go, Girl ...


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## Angela (Nov 2, 2008)

I suppose there would be the situation where the girl would have to ask the guy or they never would go out...

I am from the generation where girls did not ask the guy so it never came up!

I am at an age now that if I found myself single again, I would probably stay that way! Too old to train another one and too set in my ways!!


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## John Steinbeck (Feb 15, 2009)

I wish I had a stalker


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## Guest (Feb 22, 2009)

J. Steinbeck said:


> I wish I had a stalker












"I love you, John!"


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## Tippy (Dec 8, 2008)

I grew up being told it was an absolute no-no to approach a man and ask him out.  I met my husband when buying a new car.  Yup, he was the service manager.  Yeesh.  A year we spent visiting and flirting and the darned man would not ask me out.  So I decided to ask him out.  Took me a month to decide how to approach it, what to say, what to wear. . .  So I asked him if he would like to go out for coffee (much safer, don't ya know) and his respones, "I'd love to, but I think I should call you and ask you out to dinner."  WHAAAAT?  That was his response after all my agony?  Argh! In my normal, blunt manner I asked him if that was just a way to say no because I sure didn't feel like waiting around for a phone call.  He assured me he meant exactly what he said.  A week later he called me.  Six months later we were married.   

I learned that it is good to take a chance and let a man know where you are coming from.  It is also good to know that I don't need or have to be  in control.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

J. Steinbeck said:


> I wish I had a stalker


I'd prefer minions. . . . 

Ann


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## Gables Girl (Oct 28, 2008)

Ann Von Hagel said:


> I'd prefer minions. . . .
> 
> Ann


Me too, but they never ask you out for dinner, drinks, dancing etc. All they do is hover around you and light your cigarettes, fetch and carry things, answer your phones, and agree with you all the time. I always give my minions the night off when I'm on a date. They just tend to make the guy nervous hovering around.


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## KBoards Admin (Nov 27, 2007)

At my age I'll take any attention, stalker or not.


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

I usually make the first move, but let the guy think he's actually making it.  You know guys, they like to think they're in control.  LOL.


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## Geemont (Nov 18, 2008)

I'd love for the ladies to make the first move, but I'm middle aged and married so the odds of that ever happening are about even with winning a magamillions Lotto.


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## B-Kay 1325 (Dec 29, 2008)

Loved reading this thread.  I asked my DH out for our first date, only because I had been invited to a party and had never dated (literally my first date) before.  We never dated anyone else after that.  Was widowed last year and haven't given much thought to dating, wouldn't even know where to start.  Geemont, I think my odds are right up there with yours.  BJ you crack me up, I loved the flower for J. Steinbeck.


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## Sweety18 (Feb 14, 2009)

Harmakhet said:


> I'm very equal opportunity.


Same here, if you like a guy and he's too shy/nervous then the girl should make the move.


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

Sweety18 said:


> Same here, if you like a guy and he's too shy/nervous then the girl should make the move.


But if you're shy/nervous, too, then it's a no-go. Unless you pass a note to your bff in study hall, and she passes it to his bff who talks the guy into asking you out.

What really happens is your bff and his bff end up dating, getting married, having six kids and happily celebrate their Golden Anniversary while you and the original guy are standing alone in your separate corners sipping ginger ale.


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

When I first became single I was very nervous.  I had been married for 24 years and had never asked a guy out before.  After a couple blind dates I realized that the men were more nervous than myself.


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## Gables Girl (Oct 28, 2008)

gertiekindle said:


> But if you're shy/nervous, too, then it's a no-go. Unless you pass a note to your bff in study hall, and she passes it to his bff who talks the guy into asking you out.
> 
> What really happens is your bff and his bff end up dating, getting married, having six kids and happily celebrate their Golden Anniversary while you and the original guy are standing alone in your separate corners sipping ginger ale.


Actually it was 8 kids, but you are right.


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## Linda Cannon-Mott (Oct 28, 2008)

I have and would do it again.


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## ogie287 (est. 1838) (Feb 5, 2009)

How about a category for "haven't but would?"  Not that I would be doing this any time soon, but if I were to become single again, I would.


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## VMars (Feb 8, 2009)

There you go.


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## ogie287 (est. 1838) (Feb 5, 2009)

VMars said:


> There you go.


Thank you!


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## Wunderkind (Jan 14, 2009)

I may have read the poll question differently, but I took "initiate contact" not to mean ask a man out on a date, but rather initiate communication, which can be as simple as saying hi and having an innocuous conversation so that if a guy is interested it is easier for him to ask me out for a date.


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## Lindalkcruise (Nov 11, 2008)

I asked out husband #1 and husband #2 

Neither was a mistake......I had my two son's with #1 and I've been with my current husband 20 years.
If anything happen's to him, I'm not interested.


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## robin.goodfellow (Nov 17, 2008)

> I wish I had a stalker


Don't laugh. There's a guy in Beijing who pays good money for that. On the other hand, we can probably arrange for someone to stalk you around the boards. Do you have a preference?

rofl @ Ann. Minions. that's hilarious.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

I love the fact that the guys who have responded mostly say, "why should men do all the work."  That is SOOO my husband.  When his sister gave him the Myers-Briggs (see separate thread on Myers-Briggs types), his said "exerts himself no more than necessary" LOL!  He made the first moves (I think, it's been a very very long time, 29 years this year, and we worked together and then carpooled before anything happened) but I proposed.

Betsy


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## AFS_NZ_IT (Feb 3, 2009)

I, um, asked my husband out twice before he said he would date me and the third time I had to tell him I was head of heels crazy about him since the first moment I saw him.  (Sweating, dirty and kicking a soccer ball around a field. Oh how my heart flutters.)  This was when my Italian was very broken and his English was even worse.


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## Vegas_Asian (Nov 2, 2008)

AFS_NZ_IT said:


> I, um, asked my husband out twice before he said he would date me and the third time I had to tell him I was head of heels crazy about him since the first moment I saw him. (Sweating, dirty and kicking a soccer ball around a field. Oh how my heart flutters.) This was when my Italian was very broken and his English was even worse.


that's cute


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## AFS_NZ_IT (Feb 3, 2009)

Thanks, I think I frighten all the parents at the orientation for outgoing foreign exchange students when they find out I met my husband on my foreign exchange.


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## Vegas_Asian (Nov 2, 2008)

lol. I know my parents would freak too,....more so my dad. Still foreign exchange is an awesome opprotunity. You're so lucky to have gotten the chance.


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