# Funny Book Disclaimers



## liannallama (May 29, 2009)

I have seen so many clever and silly disclaimers lately and I am really getting a kick out of them.

Here's the latest one I saw that made me giggle today (so I had to buy the book, LOL!) Anyone else want to play?


Warning:


Spoiler



Intense, graphic mafia-related violence, profanity, gangster slang, assassinations, fang punctures, explicit vampire sex, betrayal, greed, murder, gangland warfare, pervasive supernatural mayhem, large-scale explosions,


 and extremely expensive Italian suits.


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## 4Katie (Jun 27, 2009)

This isn't from a book, but from Michael Jackson's Thriller video. At the end it has the usual disclaimer statement, with one parenthetical addition 'Any resemblance to persons living or dead (or undead)...'


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## liannallama (May 29, 2009)

oh, that was a good one! What a great album--brings back so many memories!

Here's another one that makes me laugh:

Warning: This title contains


Spoiler



explicit sex, occasional bad language


and extreme violence perpetrated against crash test dummies.

I was thinking of reading it but I just cant abide violence against crash test dummies, LOL!


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## Keith Melton (Jul 22, 2009)

liannallama said:


> I have seen so many clever and silly disclaimers lately and I am really getting a kick out of them.


<grin> Glad you liked that disclaimer, liannallama. ^_^
Samhain Publishing authors often include them with the blurb. Quite a few of the warnings are amusing. They're also very fun to write.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Maybe not exactly a disclaimer, but among the items discussed in the Author's Note at the end of Terry Pratchett's _Nation_:


*Drowning bullets*
It's true--bullets fired into the water soon lose all their speed. Some high-velocity ones even ricochet off the surface. That's because the faster you hit water, the more it behaves like concrete. However, _do not try this at home._ Don't try it at school, either.
...

*Thinking*
This book contains some. Whether you try it at home is up to you.


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## liannallama (May 29, 2009)

Oh, I'll have to check out Nation--those disclaimers just crack me up and fit my smirky, smart-a$$ sense of humor!  I needed some grins today!


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

liannallama said:


> Oh, I'll have to check out Nation--those disclaimers just crack me up and fit my smirky, smart-a$$ sense of humor! I needed some grins today!


_Nation_ is probably one of Pratchett's least "smart-a$$" books, actually. It _is_ quite thought-provoking at times and some of his sense of humor bubbles through in places; but if what you really want is satire mixed with humor of all sorts, from the subtle to the slapstick, you want to dive into his "Discworld" series of books. There are over 30 of them now, each mostly standing by itself but generally belonging to one of several different story arcs within the world.

Depending on what you like I'd start with one of these:

_The Color of Magic_ -- the start of the entire series and first in the Rincewind arc (the most inept "wizzard" around)
_Wyrd Sisters_ -- start of the "Lancre witches" arc (I suppose _Equal Rites_ really is the start as it introduces Granny Weatherwax, but she doesn't really get into her stride until this one)
_Guards! Guards! -- start of the Sam Vimes / City Watch arc (my personal favorite)
_


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## Figment (Oct 27, 2008)

NogDog said:


> [
> Depending on what you like I'd start with one of these:
> 
> _The Color of Magic_ -- the start of the entire series and first in the Rincewind arc (the most inept "wizzard" around)
> ...


_

Don't forget Mort, the start of the Death arc._


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Figment said:


> Don't forget Mort, the start of the Death arc.


I generally don't enjoy the Death arc as much as most of the other books. Of course, that just means I enjoy them quite a bit, as opposed to I _really_ enjoy them.  I guess I felt the three I mentioned were the best entry points into the Discworld in my admittedly biased viewpoint. (I started with _Guards! Guards!_ and so have a special spot in my heart for that one.)


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## Figment (Oct 27, 2008)

NogDog said:


> I generally don't enjoy the Death arc as much as most of the other books. Of course, that just means I enjoy them quite a bit, as opposed to I _really_ enjoy them.  I guess I felt the three I mentioned were the best entry points into the Discworld in my admittedly biased viewpoint. (I started with _Guards! Guards!_ and so have a special spot in my heart for that one.)


And I saved the Guards for last, primarily upon your assertion that they are the funniest of all. So far, I've completed the Wizards (gotta love the Luggage), and the Witches, and am about half way through the Death books. Then it's either on to the Guards or a lateral over to the Wee Small Men books.

I figure another couple three weeks and I'll have all of them read and will have to move on to another author.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Figment said:


> And I saved the Guards for last, primarily upon your assertion that they are the funniest of all. So far, I've completed the Wizards (gotta love the Luggage), and the Witches, and am about half way through the Death books. Then it's either on to the Guards or a lateral over to the Wee Small Men books.
> 
> I figure another couple three weeks and I'll have all of them read and will have to move on to another author.


Not sure if the City Watch books are the _funniest_, but I think they are in some ways the deepest and most satisfying to me while still giving a lot of comic relief. (You can always count on Sergeant Colon and Corporal Nobbs for a chuckle even when things are at their darkest.) _Night Watch_ is almost a downright serious book in many respects, though it still has its lighter moments to keep it from becoming too dark.

As a group, the Wee Free Men (a.k.a. "pictsies") are one of my favorite Discworld characters. They are an absolute hoot. Without them the Tiffany Aching trilogy would probably be OK to me, but with them the books become irresistible. I think the first appearance of a Pictsie is in _Feet of Clay_ -- I still chuckle thinking of a 6-inch tall man subduing a bull by repeatedly hitting said bull between the eyes with his own forehead.


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## liannallama (May 29, 2009)

funny you mention it I have read several of the Discworld books but I just got my first Kindle Discworld this week!  Work has been stressful and I really need some smiles and escapism!


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

NogDog said:


> Depending on what you like I'd start with one of these:


Thanks for posting these! I had considered the series but didn't know where to start, and hadn't taken the time yet to research which was first.


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## Scheherazade (Apr 11, 2009)

I actually read the Pratchett books in order of publication I think instead of in arcs and feel like I enjoyed them more that way.  He constantly makes references that span more than just the story arc... but confusingly he somehow makes references in his earlier books to ones that he wrote after those books.  I guess that's just part of the genius.  You really can't go wrong with just about anything he's written and it's exciting to see some of you guys just getting started!


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## libros_lego (Mar 24, 2009)

All this talk of Terry Prachett and some really funny quotes...I'm thinking of reading him now.


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## koolmnbv (Mar 25, 2009)

These are funny!


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Scheherazade said:


> I actually read the Pratchett books in order of publication I think instead of in arcs and feel like I enjoyed them more that way. He constantly makes references that span more than just the story arc... but confusingly he somehow makes references in his earlier books to ones that he wrote after those books. I guess that's just part of the genius. You really can't go wrong with just about anything he's written and it's exciting to see some of you guys just getting started!


I think I more or less read them in publication order originally, with a few jumps (such as starting out with _Guards! Guards!_). I did later reread all the books I had at the time (probably not quite 30) in publication order, plus I've reread each of the story arcs individually, pulling out some of the stand-alone books in between.

I can't honestly say that any of those sequences was particularly more or less satisfying. I think the only thing I would _not_ want to do is read the books of any given story arc out of sequence; as while each book is readable by itself, the later books in an arc will have some references to preceding books that would make more sense, plus you'll have a better understanding of the development of the characters and their relationships.

But the most important thing is, of course, to just read them.


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## marianneg (Nov 4, 2008)

Back on topic...what was the freebie where the warning included use of masks?


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## liannallama (May 29, 2009)

ha ha ha, Marrianer! I forgot about that one. Here it is:


Warning:


Spoiler



Graphic sex, bondage scenes


 and the use of masks.


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