# Short Fiction from Keith Blenman



## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

It's been forever and a day since I updated, so I just gave my thread a little bump.

 BARTERED BREATH - This is an old fan favorite from my paperback collection "Faulty Wiring." It's the story of a fast talking, slick salesman forced to fraternize with The Grim Reaper in an effort to keep the cable guy alive long enough to have a faulty jack in his office fixed. 
AMAZON: http://www.amazon.com/Bartered-Breath-ebook/dp/B001O5CD1E/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243837877&sr=1-3
FREE ON SMASHWORDS: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/31172

 BRAAAAAAINS - The last man on Earth ponders his final years while sitting back and waiting for The Sun to explode. From how he met his wife, to the nation's reaction to doomsday, to the ever unexpected zombie uprising, this darkly humorous disaster/horror story will take you on journey unlike any other.
AMAZON: http://www.amazon.com/Braaaaaains-ebook/dp/B002B5486E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243837877&sr=1-1
SMASHWORDS: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/29137

 ENTREES & STATISTICS - Inspired by menacing murder tales by Edgar Allen Poe, E&S is a narrative through the mind of a killer who's favorite joy in life is to twist his victim's perception of reality. Creepy, unsettling, and oddly refreshing, this story features an ending so shocking that the pure image will haunt/amuse you for days.
AMAZON: http://www.amazon.com/Entr%C3%A9es-Statistics/dp/B001UV4UMC/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243837877&sr=1-4
SMASHWORDS: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/31176

 STATIC - Several years after surviving a car wreck, a man confined to a wheelchair resorts to an unusual technique to getting his 'feet' back.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Static/dp/B002UKOLG2/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256880969&sr=8-8
FREE ON SMASHWORDS: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/29136

 WARM WINTER - While awaiting trial over the controversial death of her son, Ruby Murdoch manages to slip beneath the radar and escape from the state, the press, and an entire nation screaming for a verdict. When a bail bondsman discovers the FBI is trying to keep quiet on her disappearance, he sends bounty hunter, Ashley Winters, to keep her out of sight until the state coughs up a reward for her capture. Serving as an introduction to "The Bounty Hunter Chronicles," this tales twists around the humanity of two people the world would otherwise see as villains.
Amazon: [URL=http://www.amazon.com/Winter-Bounty-Hunter-Chronicles-ebook/dp/B001OTYISG/ref=sr_1_6?i]http://www.amazon.com/Winter-Bounty-Hunter-Chronicles-ebook/dp/B001OTYISG/ref=sr_1_6?i e=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243837877&sr=1-6[/url]
SMASHWORDS: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/31177

 WHERE DOG'S SWEAT - Reminiscent of every childhood summer, This light comedy is the story of a six year old boy wanting to play in the sprinkler on the hottest day of summer. Of course life would be a lot easier if Grandpa wasn't so keen on conserving water.
Amazon: [URL=http://www.amazon.com/Where-Dogs-Sweat-ebook/dp/B001OC6B0Q/ref=sr_1_7]http://www.amazon.com/Where-Dogs-Sweat-ebook/dp/B001OC6B0Q/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243837877&sr=1-7[/url]
FREE ON SMASHWORDS: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/31173


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## CS (Nov 3, 2008)

Keith Blenman said:


> The second is currently untitled, but I'm open to suggestions, and would even give a free copy to someone if I ended up using their title. It's about five hobos who are attempting to save a cheeseburger from corporate exploitation, as narrated by the gypsy mail order bride of the diner owner who cooked the burger.


The Cheeseburger Conspiracy


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## Carol Hanrahan (Mar 31, 2009)

Cooked To Order


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## Forster (Mar 9, 2009)

Ground Round aka Cheeseburger in Paradise.


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

All of the books look interesting. Warm Weather will be my first buy. Is Where Dogs Sweat for younger readers? I have a 10 year old grandson that loves to read and he uses my daughter's Kindle to read books. I'm always looking for books that will interest him.


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

I didn't write Where Dog's Sweat as a children's story, but I did have kids in mind when I wrote it. There's a few shreds of adult humor, but it's subtle enough that I doubt kids will get it. But then again, I'm terrible with children, so I really wouldn't be the best person to ask. Maybe read it first and see what you think.


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

Thanks for the title suggestions everybody! I'm making a list, including your names. The book is still a few months off, but maybe I'll toss a few sample chapters in with some of my short fiction.


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

I just wanted to toss in a quick "Thank you!" to everybody who's purchased a story this week. Since I published "Braaaaaains" two weeks ago, I've nearly sold a hundred copies and I owe that to everybody in these forums, as well as the ones on amazon.com, and the Books On The Knob blog. Prior to ever using forums to advertise, I think my record had been two or three copies of "Bartered Breath" in a month. So thanks for the support, and I hope you're all enjoying stuff!


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## sigrosenblum (Dec 22, 2008)

Keith Blenman said:


> I should also mention that along with my short fiction I'm also working on two novels. The first is called SHADOW IN THE DARK and begins with a ninja vigilante who works in a video game store and is trying to raise his little sister in the big city. The second is currently untitled, but I'm open to suggestions, and would even give a free copy to someone if I ended up using their title. It's about five hobos who are attempting to save a cheeseburger from corporate exploitation, as narrated by the gypsy mail order bride of the diner owner who cooked the burger.


1. "Cheese it--the Cops!"
2. "Roll Reversal"
3. "Maid to Order"
4. "The Burger Court."
5. "The Blue Chip Burger Caper"
6. "The Five Robbin' Hoods"


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

Thanks! They've all been added to the list.


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

Little bit of news today. First, in the past week I've received two four star reviews on Amazon.com! One for "Braaaaaains" and another for "Warm Winter." Also, I edited the first post in this thread, supplying links to my Twitter page, Myspace blog, and a creative writing blog I write for The Examiner. Not that I'm the best teacher in the world, but I try to keep things funny and entertaining. You probably won't learn how to write any better, but man-oh-man are you gonna chuckle.... quietly to yourself...


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

"Entrees & Statistics" received a five star review this week! "Braaaaaains" got itself another four star. Thanks for reading, everyone!


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

I don't know why, but amazon took away the sale prices of all my stories, so they were listed as a dollar each. I was able to drop them another penny, but that's the most I can do. Sorry they're no longer on sale, but everything I have posted is still as cheap as I can make it.


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

Hey, everybody! I know it's been quite a while, but I finally got around to publishing another short. 'Static' is actually another old fan favorite. I hadn't considered publishing it until recently because it's probably the shortest thing I've ever written. But several people have asked about it, and the other day a friend of mine argued, "It doesn't matter if it's short as long as it's good." So, going entirely on his faith and some previous requests, it's now available on the Kindle. I did make some minor tweaks, expanding the narrative and adjusting the conclusion to sound a bit more natural. I hope you all enjoy!


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

I'll probably repost the link once the feature is actually up, but for I just wanted to tell everyone that my latest Kindle story, _Static_ will be published for free at Red Adept's Kindle Book Review Blog on December 7th. If you've never been to her blog before, it's a great place for indie author's to get reviewed and noticed. Here's the link below:

http://redadept.wordpress.com/


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

Well, now that the link is a little old, and you'd actually have to scroll back through her log to find "Static," here's a link that'll take you directly to it. Sorry! I should've posted this the first time.

http://redadept.wordpress.com/2009/12/07/static-by-keith-blenman/

I hope you all enjoy!


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

I added "Roadside Attraction, Volume 1: Siren Night" to the list. The product description isn't even on Amazon yet, but once it's posted it'll read:

Dear Mama,
I'm not dead. Sorry for the deception. I've actually spent the last year and a half working for a loud mouthed, alcoholic creature named Gus. And we kill things together. Not people. Things. They're like people most of the time. Sort of. Anyways, Gus and I are seeking revenge together, but my survival is unlikely. I just thought I should prepare you. I may not have been in that fire, but in all probability you'll one day receive a call from some state police officer saying they found my mutilated corpse on the side of the road. Should that happen, I must be cremated as soon as possible. I'm sorry I can't explain more. I hope all is well with you.
Love,
Millie

http://www.amazon.com/Siren-Night-Roadside-Attraction-ebook/dp/B004A156K4/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1288719860&sr=8-8


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Hi Keith. It looks like we never officially welcomed you in this thread. . . .so, here you go! 

(If you've gotten this welcome before, it's just as a matter of housekeeping. We like to put a copy of the "welcome letter" in each book thread. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, it just helps us know that you know the rules.)

A brief recap of our rules follows:

--We invite you to use your book cover as your avatar and have links to your book and website in your signature. Instructions are posted here.

--Please bookmark this thread (using your browser's bookmark/favorite function) so you can update it as we ask that authors have only one thread per book and add to it when there is more information. You may start a separate thread for each book (or you may have one thread per series of books, or one thread for all of your books, it's your choice).

--While you may respond to member posts to your thread at any time, you may only bump your thread (back-to-back posts by you) once every seven days. Once you've responded to a member, that resets the clock to zero and you must wait seven days to post, unless another member posts before then.

--We ask that Amazon reviews not be repeated here as they are easy to find at your book link. Also, full reviews from other sites should not be posted here, but you may post a short blurb and a link to the full review instead.

--Although self-promotion is limited to the Book Bazaar, our most successful authors have found the best way to promote their books is to be as active throughout KindleBoards as time allows. This is your target audience--book lovers with Kindles! Please note that putting link information in the body of your posts constitutes self promotion; please leave your links for your profile signature that will automatically appear on each post.

All this, and more, is included in our  Forum Decorum. Be sure to check it from time to time for the current guidelines and rules.

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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

Hey everybody! To celebrate the fact that I just figured out how to use Smashwords, I'm giving away volume one of Roadside Attraction, _Siren Night_, for free. Eventually I'll raise it back to match the ninety nine cent price on Amazon, but for now I'm still trying out Smashwords. So enjoy! Just follow the link below.









Roadside Attraction, Volume 1: Siren Night
_Link_: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/29133
_Book Description_:​Dear Mama,
I'm not dead. Sorry for the deception. I've actually spent the last year and a half working for a loud mouthed, alcoholic creature named Gus. And we kill things together. Not people. Things. They're like people most of the time. Sort of. Anyways, Gus and I are seeking revenge together, but my survival is unlikely. I just thought I should prepare you. I may not have been in that fire, but in all probability you'll one day receive a call from some state police officer saying they found my mutilated corpse on the side of the road. Should that happen, I must be cremated as soon as possible. I'm sorry I can't explain more. I hope all is well with you.
Love,
Millie

Also look for my other offerings, _Braaaaaains_, a zombie story set shortly before the Sun explodes and takes the Earth with it, and _Static_ (which is also free), a short story about a man in a wheelchair who takes some drastic measures to "get his legs back."


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

I added the book trailer for Siren Night at the top of the thread. Just in case you didn't notice the big ol' Youtube box at the top of the page, here it is again!






I've been having trouble finding the right audio for it, but I'll update as soon as I've made the addition.


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

I must be in the Christmas spirit already because I'm giving away all of my fiction on Smashwords. This little bump is just to get the thread going again. Hopefully others will do the same. And remember, nothing says you enjoy a story like sharing its link with friends. Also, nothing says you didn't a enjoy a story like sharing its link with mortal enemies.


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

Just a quick thread bump to say that _Braaaaaains_ received another five star on Amazon, while both _Siren Night _ and _Static _ received four star reviews. Thank you Amazon.com customers! I'm glad everyone is enjoying the fiction.


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

This weeks bump is just a little note to say that I've had 968 downloads total on Smashwords between all seven stories. Siren Night has the lead at 229 while Braaaaaains has held a steady last place with only 87 downloads. Not that it's a competition, but there's really no reason it can't turn into one. For the three or four people that actually read this bump, let's make things interesting. Pick a favorite story. Rally your friends and fellow Kindleboarders. Which ever one has the most downloads on January first, I'll keep free for an extra week. Granted, I was probably going to leave a few of them free anyway, but this just makes it more fun.


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## Strapped-4-Cache (Dec 1, 2010)

Hi Keith,

Thanks for the update to this thread.  I've taken the opportunity to download some of the stories.  

Once I've had a chance to wade through the last few chapters of my current book I'll be happy to post reviews of the stories I downloaded.

  - Mark


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

Why thank you, Mark. I do hope you enjoy them.


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## WestofMars (Sep 16, 2009)

Wow, that's an impressive sale you've had, Keith. Congratulations!


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

Thank you! Each story has had over a hundred downloads. Siren Night had 290, which is pretty exciting. I do wonder though if it's all individual readers or if some of the numbers are high due to the same individuals downloading a story in multiple formats or multiple times. I'm really not sure how the entire system works. Regardless, I'm absolutely thrilled that things went this well. I'm actually having a difficult time reseting the prices back to normal. I will eventually, because I can't go lower on Amazon.com, and I should make the prices competitive on all the websites. But for the moment, I'm just going to ride this a little longer.


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## kaotickitten (Jan 9, 2011)

OK so I saw your books being discused in another thread.  Everyone was buying one or another of your novellas.  Saw that you were starting a series had to come to this thread to find out which one was exactly the first one of the said series.  Just one clicked it.  You are an amazing writer by the way.


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

Wow, thank you! Greatly appreciated. I hope I can continue to entertain in the future!


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. School and other writing projects have been keeping me busy to the point that I've lost touch of my most favorite Kindle community ever. Here's a blog update.


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

It's been so long since I've updated this thread that I thought I'd give it a little bump.


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

just bumping something ancient so I can edit it.


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