# I had My Ions Cleansed Last Night and I feel ...



## stormhawk (Apr 29, 2009)

nothing in particular. 

One of my girlfriends has purchased one of those ionic detoxification footbaths. Now as it happens, I dig ions. I like a mix of positive and negative charges in my molecules, but apparently it's not a good idea to have too many of the darn things. 

So, we were having a girl's day and she brought the footbath and had everybody hooked up to it. 

One of the things that makes the victim happily uncomfortable is that you have to wear a grounding strap. Thankfully, I was already used to this process from having had my hands inside of more than one computer over the years. 

Personally, I like not being electrocuted, so okay, grounding strap on. 

She mixed some healthful and natural sea salt (you know it's sea salt because there's a whale on the label, so I guess there was some whale penis residue as well) with warm water and I eased my toes into the water that was actually too hot to tolerate. The water was only salty enough to be mildly conductive. She plugged it in and I was detoxing. 

It was incredible. 

I sat in an uncomfortable chair for an entire half hour, couldn't touch my cellphone and therefore didn't have any good reading material. All that was in reach was a store circular and a kite catalog. I couldn't even shoot anybody, because I'd leave a trail of wet, de-ionized footprints that would lead right to me. 

So, what happened? 

As time passed the water changed from clear to an orange-tinged yellow, to completely orange, to brown, and to brown frothyness, and some suspicious-looking black particulates. 

Nasty stuff. 

A chart that came with the instructions indicated that I was being detoxified from joints, tobacco, gall bladder (interesting, as I don't have one any more), cellular debris (I never should have swallowed those pieces of the old phone I got pissed off at), lymph, and heavy metals. 

Wow. 

That's a lot of stuff, eh? Nasty looking too. 

Oh, I did have one other thing to read ... the instructions were printed in really bad Engrish, so I entertained everyone by reading them in a really pronounced "L" for "R" Olientar accent. Apparently the Ionic Detox Cleansing Footbath is recommended for women often on their menses.

I had my suspicions about what was going on, and I was right. 

Plain old electrolysis. 

The magic "array" that is placed in the water with my feet is a fancy design of an anode and cathode. The device was making lots and lots of rust! 

I sat with my feet in a pool of rapidly developing rust for an entire half-hour! 

I feel so relaxed, cleansed, and new agey!! 

And not a single one of you bastids had better tell my friend. She's very sensitive and I do not wish to disappoint her by crushing her illusions over the very expensive device she just purchased.

I am however working on researching the obviously hair-brained scheme she has to buy a 10K kit to convert her fossil fuel pickup into an all electric vehicle. That one I can intervene with because she hasn't bought into it yet, just has another person trying to convince her it's a good idea, and I know he's crazy and unreliable.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Now you need to order some of those Detox Foot Patch thingamajigs to suck all that rust out of your system. Better get a couple iRenew bracelets to wear, too, so that you don't lose your balance while getting used to the redistribution of weight in your body after all those toxins are removed.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

But if all that rust gets sucked out of her system, how are magnetic mattresses going to work properly??


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

T.L. Haddix said:


> me, having such a highly magnetic body


Really? You mean you look like Raquel Welch?


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## kdawna (Feb 16, 2009)

This is an interesting thread. I've heard of this being done .... just not sure if I believe how stuff exits the feet.
Just soaking ones feet would be relaxing. 
Brenda B.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

kdawna said:


> This is an interesting thread. I've heard of this being done .... just not sure if I believe how stuff exits the feet.
> Just soaking ones feet would be relaxing.
> Brenda B.


Many of these sorts of things gain momentum in part from the placebo effect:* someone tells you they're going to detoxify you, which will make you feel better. They then do/use/apply whatever they described, and since there was an expectation of feeling better, you _do_ feel better even if the procedure actually had no valid physical reason for the change. If the procedure actually did something to make you feel different, such as a soothing soaking of your feet, this can heighten your propensity to believe in its efficacy and increase its placebo effect. Then you tell others about it, increasing the likelihood that those others will try it with an expectation of feeling better, and so on.
___________
* The other parts are good advertising and marketing, along with some people's seemingly innate desire to find "natural", "holistic", "spiritual", etc. cures while scorning the scientific method.


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## MrPLD (Sep 23, 2010)

I saw this very thing posted on the local health food store... soon as I saw it that's the first thing that came to mind... good thing you're not the sacraficial anode 

Don't get me wrong, I actually prefer to go with herbal fixes for a lot of things and I still go to the doc to get stitched up (though cyanocylocrate reduced the number of trips now) but like all areas of business there are some which are genuinely misleading.  I wonder at times though if the creators even realise what they've done.

... btw, don't even get me started on, zero point energy, over unity, perpetual motion type machines - oh my word ... "And I'm not even skilled in math" - that's why you don't realise it's bunk.

Paul.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

MrPLD said:


> ...
> 
> ... btw, don't even get me started on, zero point energy, over unity, perpetual motion type machines - oh my word ... "And I'm not even skilled in math" - that's why you don't realise it's bunk.
> 
> Paul.


The 3 laws of thermodynamics for non math/physics majors:

1. You can't win.
2. You can't even break even.
3. You can't get out of the game.


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## MrPLD (Sep 23, 2010)

NogDog said:


> The 3 laws of thermodynamics for non math/physics majors:
> 
> 1. You can't win.
> 2. You can't even break even.
> 3. You can't get out of the game.


Aah, but you can, if you've not been brainwashed by the quote-"scientific community"-endquote and avoid being oppressed by the energy barons... really, the stuff they come up with just boggles the mind, it'd be thrown out as implausible if written in a fiction novel.

At the core of any of these obscene displays of shortfallings of course are the fabled... MAGNETS ... behold, unlimited power! (say it with the Darth Sideous voice)


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## stormhawk (Apr 29, 2009)

T.L. Haddix said:


> OMG, I am rolling on the floor here. Stormhawk, I don't think I've ever read one of your posts before, but you are hilarious. And your poor friend...good luck with the electric truck thing.


Even seeing the evidence of it, it's lost on her that her solar panels

1. don't generate enough electricity to run the air conditioning for more than an hour
2. are never going to amortize their cost to the point where she is not paying to use them, much like her Prius will never gain enough savings in gas mileage to justify having overpaid for a very small car.

My expectation is that she's going to end up with a nonworking truck, because the male who is going to "help" and is very enthusiastic about the project right now and is pushing her to do it is an untreated bipolar (my opinion) and has the attention span of a gnat ... looses interest and moves on swiftly.


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## stormhawk (Apr 29, 2009)

T.L. Haddix said:


> OMG, I am rolling on the floor here. Stormhawk, I don't think I've ever read one of your posts before, but you are hilarious.


Thank you! I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses. Try the veal, it's really tender.


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## stormhawk (Apr 29, 2009)

I am fearful of ear candling. 

Ear candling is not done by doctors. 

It is done by high school dropouts in tie-dye shirts and broomstick skirts who chatter on inanely about their past lives in Atlantis and Mu while they are waving a flaming waxed paper tube around your hair and not paying what one might consider sufficient attention to the process. 

And you won't get me within 50 feet of a neti pot, either.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

stormhawk said:


> Ear candling is not done by doctors.


Not only that, but they actively discourage the practice because of the numerous injuries it has caused....


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

NogDog said:


> The 3 laws of thermodynamics for non math/physics majors:
> 
> 1. You can't win.
> 2. You can't even break even.
> 3. You can't get out of the game.


And most philosophies are based on negating the above...
1) Capitalism believes you can win
2) Socialism believes you can break even
3) [insert religion of your choice here] believes you can quit the game.


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## Atunah (Nov 20, 2008)

OMG I haven't laughed this hard since the time I read about someone having their first Brazilian wax  

Now Bend over


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## stormhawk (Apr 29, 2009)

BUSTED.






The FDA doesn't like it either.


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## MrPLD (Sep 23, 2010)

T.L. Haddix said:


> May I throw in my favorite 'rip off' new age thing? Ear candles. I'm also an alternative-friendly gal, having learned the hard way over many years that most medical practitioners with M.D. after their names are overpaid, incompetent boobs. But ear candles? I've seen the Mythbusters episode. They're fake!


I think it's like any sector that's making money - you've got to sort the good from the BS, that's our job as a consumer and with the help of Google/internet we've got a fighting chance now. What's unjust though is when people tar everything with the same brush because of one bunk item that was within the sphere (and the opposite too, assuming everything is valid/true). There's a lot of good in both traditional remedies and modern but by god there's no shortage of scandalous cr*p too on both sides.

Paul.


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## kaotickitten (Jan 9, 2011)

I am so glad you explained this stormhawk.  I always wondered if they worked.  As to those foot patches the dollar store by me is selling them.  I know they are a gimmick.  But still bought a pack. It showed people putting them on their stomach.  So I tried that and the feet.  Well nothing happened with the one on the stomach but the feet ones turned a sticky brown.  Also it smelled like pure tobacco.  Kinda gross to have a brown sticky goo that smells like tobacco on your feet, to wake up to.  Especially if you are an ex-smoker like me.


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## stormhawk (Apr 29, 2009)

The detox footpads contain a substance that turns dark when it gets wet. The pads are secured to your feet by a non-breathable adhesive, so your feet sweat enough to provide the magic moisture.

If you don't turn the pads brown you are probably dehydrated and need to see a doctor ...

http://www.livestrong.com/article/109149-detox-foot-pad-information/


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

T.L. Haddix said:


> Stormhawk, I can tell you without a doubt that Neti pot is brilliant. It is on my list of deserted island must-haves. I have horrible sinus problems, and I couldn't get by without the Neti. It makes a huge difference, and while a little ummm... freakishly weird? It is worth the weirdness. No scam there, I promise.
> 
> Something else that gets a lot of flak is chiropracty. Somehow, I don't think that is how it is spelled, but it's nearly 3 a.m. and I'm tired, so I'm going with it. In any event, I was a doubter until we started going. It's nice to not hurt now. Can't put that into words.


Chiropractors can help with many muscle/joint ache issues, at the very least helping to deal with the symptoms. Where they start to draw a lot of ridicule is when some of them (and by no means all of them) start claiming they can cure all sorts of things from cancers to bladder infections simply by manipulating your spine. Certainly they can make you feel better in many cases, but as to whether they can actually _cure_ the root cause of virtually any ailment is a whole 'nother question, and where I recommend taking it with a healthy dose of skepticism before giving up mainstream medical treatments for a serious condition in favor of spinal manipulation. (If you want to _add_ it to mainstream treatments in the spirit of "it can't hurt" that's a bit different, I suppose.) And chiropracty, along with many other non-mainstream treatments, can have a placebo effect -- regardless of their actual efficacy -- which is a real effect. In fact, the placebo effect can be so strong that in one recent study, there was measurable improvement for a statistically significant part of the test population that was given a placebo _and were told they were only getting a placebo_. In other words, simply thinking that something might help can, in fact, help some of the time in some situations.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

T.L. Haddix said:


> Something my chiropractor told me to do was raise my laptop up so that the middle/bottom of the screen was on the same level as my eyes when I looked straight ahead. I was skeptical - I mean, come on - but I did it anyhow. After about a week, I noticed that my back wasn't hurting nearly as much as it had, and the really amazing thing was that on the long days where I was spending more than eight hours in the chair typing, I wasn't nearly as tired. Fairly cheap fix - I got a laptop cart for it - and amazingly effective.


This is a pretty standard bit of advice regarding good ergonomics, and it's amazing how many people ignore it and sit hunched over for hours at a time.



T.L. Haddix said:


> I'm lucky now that I've found a doctor who is a good mix of both worlds.


A rare find. My chiropractor was a physical therapist first, and now combines the two backgrounds for a very no-nonsense approach. She'll relieve the pain in your back with chiropractic manipulation and then assign you "homework" exercises to strengthen your core muscles so it's less likely to happen again.


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## jtshelnutt (Apr 21, 2011)

I thought that I'd heard something about ions from a TV show once before which said just taking a shower will increase the ions in your body, and apparently this is true.
According to an article on eHow.com, negative ions are good for us;
_According to Dr. Takada Maku, a Japanese researcher, when negative ions are introduced to the air, the blood is purified by increasing blood alkalinity. Cell function is activated and revived while metabolism is increased. Neher and Sakmann were awarded the 1991 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine "for their discoveries concerning the function of single ion channels in cells." Negative ions decrease depression, relieve stress, and boost energy. There are several ways to increase the negative ions in the environment;_

1>Use a Bio-Mat to release 600 to 1000 volts of static electricity into a room. The negative-ion particles released from the mat change the particles in the air. A layer of dust accumulates when these air particles fall. Inside the human body, calcium and sodium get ionized. The body becomes more alkaline
2>Go to the beach or the mountains. The air circulating in these areas contain thousands of negative ions. Crashing waves and the scent of rain create negative ions and elevate moods, says Dr. Michael Terman, of Columbia University.
3>Use a negative-ion generator in the home or office setting. Dr. Terman says that these relieve depression as much as antidepressants, and have no side effects
4>Take a hot shower. The steam releases negative ions into the atmosphere
5>Practice feng shui. Feng shui uses indoor water fountains, which spray negative ions into the air. Ferns and other indoor plants release negative ions into the room


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## Annalog (Dec 28, 2008)

Susan in VA said:


> ... A rare find. My chiropractor was a physical therapist first, and now combines the two backgrounds for a very no-nonsense approach. She'll relieve the pain in your back with chiropractic manipulation and then assign you "homework" exercises to strengthen your core muscles so it's less likely to happen again.


My chiropractor does the same. She specializes in sports injuries.

I was having problems about 16 years ago with both arms that I suspected was carpal tunnel. I had already made most of the ergonomic changes that I knew about. She said it was due to how I was holding my shoulders while typing. In addition to exercises, she suggested I sit on an exercise ball or at least in a chair with either no armrests or very low armrests. I have been sitting on an exercise ball at work for the last 16 years. It has done wonders for my back in addition to resolving the problems with my arms. I no longer have the back problems I used to have at the end of each project due to long hours at the keyboard.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Annalog said:


> I have been sitting on an exercise ball at work for the last 16 years.


I've used one at my desk at home for about six years now, and I'd recommend them to anyone!


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Sounds like he needs to use the mouse for less time.  Or take more breaks.

If you're looking at exercise balls, a good sporting goods store should have an assortment. They come in different sizes, and if you're going to use it as a chair, the size matters perhaps even more than if you're exercising with it. If the store doesn't have a variety of them inflated for you to test out, you might be able to go to a gym that uses them and try them out there.

Although I like mine (and I guess Anna likes hers!), there are conflicting views on whether they're all that healthy as "office chairs" (see http://www.ergoweb.com/news/detail.cfm?id=1091 for a sample of the negative views). One of the main objections is that they are not adjustable, but that's irrelevant if only one person is using it and is always working at the same desk. Another concern is that they are only ergonomically sound if you're sitting up straight, and that once you get tired and start to slouch, there's no back support or anything. Of course, the answer for that is to not sit in the same position for so long that you start to slouch.... IMHO the ball gives you a better indication of when it's time for a short break to move around, compared to a chair with a backrest that lets you keep working for hours when you really shouldn't.


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## MrPLD (Sep 23, 2010)

I always am worried I'm going to go butt-over-top/apex-over when sitting on those exercise balls.  One false move and WHOOOPS.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

MrPLD said:


> I always am worried I'm going to go butt-over-top/apex-over when sitting on those exercise balls. One false move and WHOOOPS.


Well, it's a good idea to keep both feet on the floor...


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## MrPLD (Sep 23, 2010)

Susan in VA said:


> Well, it's a good idea to keep both feet on the floor...


Well, that ruins my yoga cross-legged sitting position then (no, i don't really practice yoga but I do frequently pull up and cross my legs, getting harder though as I get older)


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

MrPLD said:


> Well, that ruins my yoga cross-legged sitting position then (no, i don't really practice yoga but I do frequently pull up and cross my legs, getting harder though as I get older)


Believe it or not, I did once see a woman sitting cross-legged on top of an exercise ball.  For about a minute.  It must have been somewhat under-inflated for that to work at all. You won't catch me trying that...


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## Annalog (Dec 28, 2008)

My problem was not carpal tunnel but having my shoulders up and forward. This apparently causes the muscle at the front of shoulder to shorten and restrict the flow of lymph out of the arm. Arm rests are my enemy since they rarely be adjusted low enough. (Elbows on arm rests should not raise the shoulders.) 

Sizing of an exercise ball to be used as a chair: Sit a little forward of the top of the ball with both feet flat on the floor about shoulder width apart. The angles at ankle, knee, and hip should all be about 90 degrees. If the angles are less than 90 then the ball is too small or needs more air. If they are all greater than 90 then the ball is too large or has too much air. The ball should be firm with some bounce when sitting on it, not hard or soft. The reason for sitting forward of the top of the ball is so that the pelvis and spine are closer to their standing orientation.


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