# Manicures for little girls?



## meljackson (Nov 19, 2008)

I took my 7 year old to get a manicure for her birthday and she got a couple of comments afterward that hurt her feelings a little. Several people said it was stupid to pay for one for a child and that she was way to young to have a manicure. I thought it was a nice treat and am glad she did it as she loves the way her nails look. She did get hot pink polish. Maybe that looked too grown up? I don't know as she's a girly girl and I am not and never have been. Just wondering what any of you other moms or dads think.

Melissa


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## Forster (Mar 9, 2009)

Not wondering what any of us dads think?   lol


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## meljackson (Nov 19, 2008)

Forster said:


> Not wondering what any of us dads think?  lol


LOL I changed it. I think I left it out because both of the people making comments were dads.


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## pidgeon92 (Oct 27, 2008)

I think you did a nice thing, and it's sad that people can't keep their negative comments to themselves.


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## crebel (Jan 15, 2009)

I think it sounds like a fun, "girly", birthday suprise for a 7 year old that probably made her feel pretty grown-up and special for a few days.  Ignore grumpy adults that would hurt the feelings of a little girl with petty comments. You can tell her I think it sounds awesome and she has a great Mom!


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## Forster (Mar 9, 2009)

meljackson said:


> LOL I changed it. I think I left it out because both of the people making comments were dads.


lol, bet they weren't kindle dads were they?

I actually think is was a very nice thing to do with your daughter on her birthday. So much emphasis is placed on things and not enough on spending fun time together. Spending time with your kids doing fun things on their special days is never time nor money wasted.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

I never had a little girl, but my brothers do.  I don't like the idea, but I'm not a girly girl myself so that may be why.  I was such a tomboy I never had enough in the way of fingernails to have them 'manicured'. 

I agree, though, that it's your decision as the parent, and strangers should keep their remarks to themselves.  Finger nail polish in and of itself will not turn a kid into a slut -- if that is what they were implying.  And I guess it's never too early to teach a kid appropriate personal hygiene; a manicure could definitely qualify there.

I do think it's kind of creepy how many little girls dress up like teens or older.  They're not old enough to be shopping for themselves so their parents must be getting their clothes for them.

So:  a little girl dressed like a little girl who just got her nails done "just like mommy (or auntie, or whomever)" is one thing.  A little girl dressed like a teenager -- including adult style makeup, fancy hairdo, and finger treatment. . .well. . .that's another thing altogether.

My opinion only, of course.  But, you did ask.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

It completely mystifies me why people thing young girls are "too young" for manicures. What, exactly, is the magic age? I've seen infants with polish on their nails (obviously applied by an adult). Do people complain about that? So does going to a professional suddenly make it a _verboten_ act?

My mother had a gift certificate for a manicure which after 6 months or so she knew she'd never use it, so she gave it to my daughter who was about 11 or 12 at the time. The nail technician was completely appropriate, ie, not trying to talk her into expensive acrylics or anything like that. She trimmed my daughter's nails, filed them, and then they decided on a "girly" color for polish -- probably hot pink. I don't remember. No big deal, but people seem to think you can't have a professional manicure until some certain age --when you can drink, I guess. Or maybe vote.

I am totally addicted to pedicures and have a standing monthly appointment. I consider it foot health and it really is. I had a fungus in one nail which has cleared up (through careful attention), a crack in another one that is gone. My father went to a podiatrist, monthly, for years, to get his nails clipped and his feet taken care of (he had diabetes). I ask you, is there really any difference between a pedicure and what he was receiving, besides the price? (Mine is cheaper.) And, yes, when I am done, my toenails are polished.

L


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## meljackson (Nov 19, 2008)

Thanks all. You really made me feel better. She really loved it and she did feel grown up 

Melissa


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

I've taken my all of my girls for manicures at one time or another as a treat. They've always enjoyed it. Pay no attention to the negative comments.


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## Marguerite (Jan 18, 2009)

My girls and I have gotten pedicures and manicures and they are a blast.  We love them.  Then again, I think that my girls are too young for pierced ears.  So what? Every family has it's rules and quirks.  I would never dream of telling any little girl or her parents my opinion because it's none of my business.  Just a thought.


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

I'm glad you got to spend time with her and I think getting a manicure was a great thing.  Unfortunately, some people feel the right to comment on other people's lives.  Tell your daughter that she should be happy with her pretty nails and that if people say mean things, it's more about how they feel about themselves then how they feel about her.  More power to the HOT PINK!


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## B-Kay 1325 (Dec 29, 2008)

I have taken my two oldest granddaughters with me when I have gotten my mani & pedi.  I have allowed them to get manicures and they have both enjoyed it, it makes them feel more grownup and special.  It is not permanent and it gives us an experience we can discuss and laugh about.  I don't see anything wrong with it and will definitely do it again.  I have also seen babies that their Mom's have painted their fingernails and toenails and has anyone seen pets with painted nails?  So what, it is not permanent and doesn't hurt the animal or anyone.  It sounds like your birthday outing was fun for both of you and she was excited about her nails so enjoy the memories and plan for the next one.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

I've been debating this topic myself, and I haven't found an answer yet. In your case, I think you did the right thing -- you had fun and it was a nice special treat, and it's nothing permanent that anybody could regret later. And no matter what you do, there are people who will criticize your parenting approach from day one, so you just have to ignore them.

DD went to her kindergarten's fundraiser fun fair a few months ago and they had a stand where you could get your nails done (not a real manicure, just polish, applied by a couple of volunteer 12-year-olds). She also chose hot pink, which I thought was a whole lot more little-girl appropriate than, say, burgundy or black.

Then afterwards she asked whether she could get her nails done again sometime. To me this is one of those weird parenting issues that makes me question my own beliefs or customs. My gut reaction is that a girl of six or seven shouldn't be wearing makeup of any kind. Why not? Well.... and that's where it gets iffy. Do women wear it to be attractive to men? To other people in general? In either case, for different reasons, I don't want her wearing it. Or do we, as confident, self-assured women, wear it for ourselves, to look good_ to ourselves_ and to have fun with color and fashion? That's certainly what _I'd _say about my pedicure and occasional lipstick. But.... if it's for me, just for fun, then why can't a six-year-old do the same.... and then I'm back to my gut reaction.

I think the bottom line for me is that as long as it's a special treat it's ok. (Still not facial makeup, but nail polish at least.) Kind of like staying up until midnight on New Year's Eve maybe, a special grown-up thing to do that doesn't happen very often. Like Ann, I'm also troubled by the little kids who are all decked out in fashion-show glitz when they're of playground-recess age. (It gets worse when they're almost teenagers... then it does look slutty sometimes, especially because the ability to wield a makeup brush does not automatically imply makeup skill and good taste. And don't get me started on the obscene T-shirts on 12-year-olds.)

Another issue arose when DD informed me that she wanted to keep it on "forever". I explained that she could keep it on as long as it looked nice, i.e. not badly chipped. It turned into a useful little talk about how it was ok to wear things that were carefully mended but not ok to wear things that were torn or dirty or otherwise slovenly.

I'm tiptoeing along this path too, because I was never interested in that stuff as a kid (I was 40 before I discovered pedicures!) and neither was my mom beyond the lipstick-for-major-events kind of thing, so there's no family experience to draw on. So I have to figure it out as I go.

But the best-laid plans.... I had told DD that she could get it done again for the next Special Occasion. She looked in the calendar and told me that would be Mother's Day, then about two months away. I said ok. And a week or so later.... after all that discussion..... she told me that she didn't want to have nail polish again anytime soon, because the smell of the remover was so icky! 

Are there any parents here of girls that are a little bit older? Maybe 10-12? How do you / did you deal with the nail polish and makeup questions at that age? Seems it would be much more difficult then, especially when peer pressure is beginning to kick in for them.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

scarlet said:


> Tell your daughter that she should be happy with her pretty nails and that if people say mean things, it's more about how they feel about themselves then how they feel about her. More power to the HOT PINK!


I think this is very important. Girls growing up (and maybe boys in different ways) face lots of negative comments about their appearance no matter_ what _choices they make, and it really has nothing to do with them but just with the insecurities of the people commenting. Family support can go a long way toward creating a healthy self-confidence that can brush off such remarks.


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

My best friend has two granddaughters, ages 10 and 12.  They got their nails done for a special wedding a couple weekends ago.  It was decided in the family that the two younger grandaughters, 5 and 3, were too young to appreciate the experience.  But they had their nails done at home in a similar color to the other girls.  Both of the older girls were so excited to show me their manis.  They felt very special for the wedding.  They understood it was a special experience.  

I agree with what the others have said about sharing the time with your daughter.  Those events are building blocks in your long term relationship.  And she'll remember that day much longer than any toy that would eventually be discarded.  

deb


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## cheshirenc (Dec 27, 2008)

My 5 yo daughter and I were just invited to a "going to school" party at a local spa.  It's more or less a manicure "party" for several of my daughter's pre-school friends celebrating going to kindergarten and their moms.

We're both excited about it.  DD loves getting her nails painted (both fingers and toes).  She doesn't get it from me. I'll have painted toes, but not fingers.


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## Shizu (Oct 27, 2008)

I think it was nice treat. If my daughters (19 & 17) wanted to do it when they were that age, I would take them. I wasn't interested in makeup, manicure and those girl girl things but never against it. Just because I'm not into it doesn't mean my daughters can't do what they want. My oldest daughter started to do manicure for fun on weekends or when school was out when she was 15. Only thing I said to her was that the nails need to breath too so it won't be good for the nails to have it all the time. She never asked to go to a manicure until the prom this June. I took her and she really enjoyed it. Both of my daughters were watching how it was done very closely so they can do it by themselves at home. 

They have been putting makeup for few years now but only for the eyes, mascara and eye shadow. I told them when they were little that it is okay to put makeup but it won't be good for the skin so it won't be good idea to put it on while they are still young. I mean they don't really need it when they are young, they have nice skin and all... I think. I told them they would need to remove and clean good if they do put the makeup on. My oldest daughter do her research on makeup how to clean and all so I'm not really worry about it. My youngest ask her sister for advice too, more reliable than her mother. lol.


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## Scheherazade (Apr 11, 2009)

Susan in VA said:


> I think this is very important. Girls growing up (and maybe boys in different ways) face lots of negative comments about their appearance no matter_ what _choices they make, and it really has nothing to do with them but just with the insecurities of the people commenting. Family support can go a long way toward creating a healthy self-confidence that can brush off such remarks.


This is important in all aspects of childrens' lives and especially school. Grown men and women should know better andit kind of makes me angry that their comments were A) made in front of her and B) hurt her feelings. I'm going to paraphrase something a very dear friend just wrote to one of her teachers the other day. She said that it's important to instill in people that they shouldn't pass judgment so casually on others. We carry a lot of things through our lives, and hurtful words from our childhood really stick with us and make us feel like we're not good enough. It's easy for us to say things to people and forget about it the next day, but it may be remembered forever by the person we said it to. A small thing said offhand can have wonderful or horrific ramifications, especially in those who have personalities that just can't forget. Just as a hand can be the one to pull someone back from a cliff, it can also be the one to cut with the knife and ensure the other person falls.


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## Tippy (Dec 8, 2008)

I think it is a wonderful treat!  My daughter does not have any children, BUT DD started babysitting for a friend of mine when my DD was age 16.  My friend kept having babies and her children are like family for my DD.  

DD makes time with the children twice a week.  Additionally DD goes to all their cheerleading and sports events.  So there are two little girls.  My DD will save her money and take them with her for their choice of manicure or pedicure, once or twice a year.  One of the girls is a girly-girl and one is a tomboy.  All of them  have a great time doing something special.  I must state the two little girls don't like pedicures/manicures nearly as much as a sleepover at DD's.  

Ignore the judgmental comments and have fun!  Life is all about small joyful moments spent with the people you love!  Don't let 'em rain on your parade!!!!  Rather pray for them.  It makes a difference!


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## Maxx (Feb 24, 2009)

I have an 11 yo and she loves to have her toes done.  I have taken her to a salon a couple of times to get her toes done and she loves it.  I don't think there is anything at all wrong and people should keep their comments to themselves.


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

I find it surprising when people makes comments based on the facts in their own lives.  What they think is inappropriate does not mean it's inappropriate for everyone.  There are certain members of my family who have passed judgment on other family members over the years because family member no. 1 would never have made the same decision family member no. 2 had.  I have always tried to explain that everyone has different sets of facts to work with and upon which to base their decisions.  
deb


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## marianneg (Nov 4, 2008)

Well, I do feel like it's a bit of a waste, but this is coming from the girl who has had a professional mani/pedi exactly once in her life (before my wedding).  Of course, that's also what I think birthday's are for, special one-time treats.  If you were taking a 7-year-old weekly to get her nails done, I'd might judge a little bit, but I also wouldn't say anything, especially in front of the child.


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

I loved doing things like getting a manicure with my daughter. She was not really a girly girl, but did love having her nails done. She loved dancing and I would allow her to get her nails done for recitals. Usually they were a mess because she was always outside playing football with her brother. I get my nails done every 2 weeks and have tried to drag her with me when I'm with her. She is the mother of 3 boys and isn't really interested. I think it is up to the parent to know what is right for their children.

Now as a grandmother of 8 boys and only one lonely little girl, I can't wait until she wants to go get a manicure. I don't care how young she is I'll take her and have a wonderful time.


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## sherylb (Oct 27, 2008)

Well, I would have loved to have gone for a mani when I was a kid but that thought never even entered my head nor could we have afforded one. 

I did start buying fingernail polish when I was about 9 or 10. My mom showed me how to take care of my own nails and we did that weekly together and I would save up money from doing chores to buy the polish. I even mixed colors when I couldn't find a color that I was looking for. My parents let me wear polish, but not makeup until I was in the 9th grade! Ok, that was when they found out I was wearing it at school anyway! 

The folks also had a pretty strong idea of what was proper dress and enforced it because after all they were footing the bill. When I started babysitting and doing odd jobs I would pay for half of my clothes and then I would have a little more leeway about styles and such but I had learned early I never wanted to hear "You're going out like that? Looking like a hooker?" Whereupon I would immediately return to my room and try to find something a little less hookerish.


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

Mu nieces have gotten manis and pedis when they visit my Mother and for special occasions, like my wedding shower and upcoming wedding. For the most part, the manicurist does a very basic clean trim and the like then applies the polish. They love it. 

I don't see a problem with it. Just like I don't see a problem with the girls deciding that they want to put on make up in the house when they play dress up. It is something that little girls enjoy doing. I doubt that they know or care that their desire is partially driven by societies normal embrace of women wearing make up and having nicely done nails. It is up to their parents to decide what is acceptable and what is not. My nieces are not allowed to wear make up out of the house. The oldest is 11. She can put it on at home all she likes but she does not wear it out. Then again, none of the women in my family are huge into make up. I don't wear any. My Mom wears a little. Neither of my SIL wear a ton, I actually don't think they wear any for day to day activities. I suspect that their daughters will end up modeling their mothers approach.


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## cat616 (Nov 4, 2008)

I would not take a 7 year old or any child who has not reached the teen years for a professional manicure.

I do not see anything wrong with doing the girly thing at home and painting their nails for them occasionally as a special treat or for a special occasion when everyone else is dressing up too.

There is plenty of time for them to be a grown up when the time comes but IMHO preteens should be kept free of the concern of how pretty/cool/fashionable etc.. they are or are not.  Lord knows they are being bombarded by it in the media enough and the adults in their life should not be reinforcing that particular media message.

Of course every parent makes their own choices for their children and it is not my place to tell them that they are wrong and no one should tell them they are wrong in front of the child in question.


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