# Humorous Middle Grade Children's Book - Bloated Goat



## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat is a unique fantasy story suitable for ages 8 and up. It is a humorous, light-hearted adventure filled with crazy characters (like Cocky Doodle and Granny Hammy) who are thrown into wacky situations (like a skunk wedding and a mushroom feast), and it is similar in spirit to Shrek, Madagascar, and Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Check out the good reviews on the product page.

Here is the product page link: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW

Here's the book description:

When Granny Hammy finds Bloated Goat face down in her front yard's drainage ditch, her grandson Cocky Doodle thinks nothing of it. In fact, he says that's just another normal day for his best friend. But when they discover that Bloated Goat has little black Xs for eyes and is even more bloated than normal, they realize it is much more serious.

Follow them on a humorous adventure as they get tangled up with jewel thieves, a despondent wolf, an alligator gangster, a kingdom of hungry mushrooms, a shocking skunk wedding, and a mysteriously powerful chameleon known as Crazy Ned.

But don't take my word for it. Read the following fake quotes for more convincing words:

"This is one the funniest books about bloated goats and talking animals I've ever read." - A random, imaginary kid

"If I was stuck on a deserted island with nothing but this book, I'd probably read it at least once." - An important kid, possibly your best friend or son or daughter


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## Nancy C. Johnson Author (Apr 28, 2010)

Hi Manley,

Just bought your book. Looks like something I can read when I want to laugh...

Best of luck with your book!

Nancy


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## Dox (Nov 9, 2008)

OK, you had my 99c at "despondent wolf".


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Welcome to KindleBoards, Manley, and congratulations on your book.

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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Thanks to Nancy and Dox for taking the plunge. I hope you have as much fun reading Bloated Goat as I did writing it. If other readers' comments from Amazon's Kindle Discussions are any indication, I would advise putting some newspaper down before you start reading.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Here are some great quotes from a few people who bought Bloated Goat this past week. I hope you'll give it a try...

“I decided to take a chance on your book after reading your post. Heck, it's only ninety-nine cents, right? I called my nine year old daughter over for what I thought would be a short picture book. I'll be honest. I wasn't expecting much but I hoped she'd get a good chuckle out of it. I opened up the book and was surprised to find that it's a chapter book. Hmm! We dove in. We read through the first ten chapters and my daughter never stopped laughing. She loved it! (And I had to stop more than once to compose myself as well. I actually had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard.) So far it's an easy and enjoyable read. The characters are hilarious and the situations they encounter are wholly unexpected. We can't wait to finish it tomorrow.” – M. Jacobs, a Kindle Discussions contributor

“LOL. I just finished it. It cracked me up! Definitely worth the dollar.” – Lexi, a Kindle Discussions contributor


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Here are some fun facts about Bloated Goat:

1. My 10 yo daughter created the cover art. She drew it, colored it, and fixed it all up. I love it.
2. It took about 21 days to finish writing. That is about 18 days of 1000 words/day and 3 days of editing.
3. Everyone in my extended family loves it. That includes adults and children.
4. I had a blast writing it, and I am thinking about a sequel.
5. Bloated Goat is still only $.99 and sales have been great so far.

Hope you all have a wonderful day and give Bloated Goat a try. You can click the picture in my signature or click here: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW

Thanks,
Manley Peterson


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## JennaAnderson (Dec 25, 2009)

I'm reading this now. Crazy, zany start.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

JennaAnderson said:


> I'm reading this now. Crazy, zany start.


Great! I hope you can't stop smiling and laughing.


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## JennaAnderson (Dec 25, 2009)

I just finished it. I'll write a review and put it up on Amazon. 

Last night my husband and I were sitting near each other (I was reading your story on my Kindle and he was playing Angry Birds on his iPad.) and I kept laughing. About every three pages I'd giggle. He finally said, "Will you knock it off. What are you reading anyway?" I gave him a quick rundown of the story and he thought I was nuts.

Thanks for the fun read.

Jenna


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## Archer (Apr 25, 2009)

I got my copy...


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

JennaAnderson said:


> I just finished it. I'll write a review and put it up on Amazon.
> 
> Last night my husband and I were sitting near each other (I was reading your story on my Kindle and he was playing Angry Birds on his iPad.) and I kept laughing. About every three pages I'd giggle. He finally said, "Will you knock it off. What are you reading anyway?" I gave him a quick rundown of the story and he thought I was nuts.
> 
> ...


@Jenna - thank you so much. I appreciate your thoughtful and honest insights and the 4-star review. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and tell your husband *I* don't think you're nuts. 

@Archer - thank you, too. I hope you enjoy it, and feel free to let me know your thoughts.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Well, another week, another great review for Bloated Goat. You can check it out here: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW

If you or your kids are looking for a fun, wonderful adventure book, I hope you will give it a try.

Thanks,
Manley Peterson


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Hello Everybody,

If you are new to kindleboards and/or haven't read *Bloated Goat* yet, I encourage you to check it out. It is still only $.99 on Kindle.

So, what is Bloated Goat?

That's a great question. It is a chapter book that kids and adults can both enjoy. It is full of funny characters in silly situations, and the only point of the story is to be entertained. It can be best described as a cross between Weekend at Bernie's and Shrek.

Thanks for looking,
Manley Peterson


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat will be featured on Daily Cheap Reads http://dailycheapreads.com/ tomorrow morning. Check out the site for wonderful deals.

If you need a virtual stocking stuffer for a child in your life, then look no further. They will be laughing non-stop at Granny Hammy, Cocky Doodle, Walter Wolf, Crazy Ned, and others as the off-the-wall characters get themselves into hairy situations.

I hope you'll check out the sample and give a child the gift of laughter.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Hello to all children's book lovers,

I will be gifting a free Kindle copy of Bloated Goat to three readers in this Kindleboards forum.

All you have to do is leave a reply to this thread. I will let the contest run throughout the day and will randomly pick three lucky winners and post the results here. The winners will just need to email me at [manleypeterson (AT) gmail (DOT) com] and I'll send the copy over ASAP.

Bloated Goat is a unique story suitable for ages 8 and up. It is a humorous, light-hearted adventure filled with crazy characters thrown into wacky situations, and it is similar in spirit to Shrek and Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Check out the Amazon product page for reviews and more.

Good luck and thanks for playing.


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## theraven (Dec 30, 2009)

I'd like to enter your contest. The book sounds cute and I really love the cover art.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

theraven said:


> I'd like to enter your contest. The book sounds cute and I really love the cover art.


Thanks raven. My 10-year-old daughter drew the cover art. And so far, you are the only one to enter the contest, so right now, you are winning by default.

Anyone else want a chance to win a free copy of Bloated Goat for yourself or your kids? Just leave a reply to this thread.


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2010)

I saw your ebook and Daily Cheap Reads and a few other places too. Good job getting it out there. I hope you're getting some nice sales. It looks cute.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Thanks Goblin. Yes, it has been quite an effort to advertise and market Bloated Goat.

And it appears you are lucky number 2 for a free copy.

I'll leave the contest up through 12 PM Central Time, and then pick winners. If there aren't enough participants, then the two or three posters win by default.

Post a reply to enter the contest. Thanks.

*******************
EDIT: Winners are GoblinWriter and theraven.


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## Lee Sinclair (Dec 19, 2010)

Hey, Manley.  How's it going?  I recommended your book to my sister.  She just got a Kindle and has been reading books on it with her granddaughter.  It's a great way to encourage kids to read.
Lee


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

@Lee - hey, thanks a lot for the mention. I appreciate that, and hopefully she'll like it. Otherwise, things are going good. I'm finishing up my new middle grade children's book tentatively called Snow Monsters. A few more chapters to write, and then, editing up the wazoo.

And yes, I agree that e-readers like Kindle are making reading cool again - which can only be a good thing for children.



Lee Sinclair said:


> Hey, Manley. How's it going? I recommended your book to my sister. She just got a Kindle and has been reading books on it with her granddaughter. It's a great way to encourage kids to read.
> Lee


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## summerhouse (Dec 26, 2010)

Bought my 12 yr old granddaughter a Kindle for Christmas and have been looking for books to get her. Yours sounds right up her alley!!  The cover art is wonderful!!


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

summerhouse said:


> Bought my 12 yr old granddaughter a Kindle for Christmas and have been looking for books to get her. Yours sounds right up her alley!! The cover art is wonderful!!


Thank you so much, Summerhouse. My 10-year-old daughter drew the cover art, so I'll pass on your nice compliment to her. A Kindle is a wonderful gift for Christmas - your granddaughter is lucky to have you. Also, I think she is the perfect age for Bloated Goat. Maybe, you can read along with her? There will be lots of laughs for both of you!


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Well, I'm very happy today. I just received another great review for Bloated Goat on Amazon.com - this time from a middle school teacher. Here's a quick quote: "This is worth every penny (literally). This book is a perfect light easy read that will provide you with some great moments of humor."

If you haven't checked out the story yet, I hope you'll give it a try. Check out the product page for the full reviews and more.

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Two quick updates:

1. Bloated Goat has received several new good reviews on Amazon US website. I'm very happy that people are enjoying the story. I did receive one 3-star review, but after reading it, I was quite happy with it. The reviewer said that even though she might be too old to understand my humor, she figured that anyone who liked Police Academy, Monty Python, and The Simpsons would appreciate Bloated Goat. I'd say that is pretty good company to be in.

2. I've launched my own blog called Manley's Bookshelf (manleypeterson.blogspot.com) where you can learn more about my books.

I hope everyone is doing well. Happy Reading!


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Cobbie said:


> I just saw your post in Jenna's thread and bought your book. It looks like a fun story to read to my 6-year-old granddaughter. Plus, how can I resist an author who's possibly "a multi-dimensional super-being of untold power and charisma who hungers for nothing less than utter world domination"?


Yes, resistance is futile. 

Seriously, thanks very much for checking out Bloated Goat. I hope you and your granddaughter enjoy the story and characters as much as my family does. My 3-year-old daughter loves to run around and yell, "Bloat-y Goat, Bloat-y Goat."


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Wow, I just noticed that Bloated Goat received a great 5-star review on Amazon.com. Here is a quick quote:

"If you enjoy wild, zany humor, unfettered creativity and hysterical literary asides, this book is for you! The writing style is very unique, and the whole concept for the story is completely original. This book will really appeal to kids who enjoy Lemony Snickett ("A Series of Unfortunate Events") and adults who want a ridiculous, family-friendly story to read to younger kids. My 11 and 13 year old children laughed out loud many times while reading this, as did I."

Please check out the product page for more reviews and information: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW

Thanks for looking and happy reading.


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## Carol Hanrahan (Mar 31, 2009)

Just bought this.  For myself!


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Carol Hanrahan said:


> Just bought this. For myself!


Thanks so much Carol. I hope you love it and have a great weekend.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

I am pleasantly surprised by how well Bloated Goat is selling. Truthfully, I would love to sell a million copies (who wouldn't?), but when I started out four months ago, I set a goal of selling 1 book/day. Well, currently, Bloated Goat is selling an average of 3 books/day across all formats (Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords).

So, thank you to everyone who has purchased Bloated Goat. I hope to have more stories up soon. You can keep track of my progress on my website: http://manleypeterson.blogspot.com/

Have a great day and Happy Reading!


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat received a great 4-star review from Cleo at the Booklopedia Blog (http://thebooklopedia.blogspot.com/2011/01/review-bloated-goat.html)

Here's a quick excerpt:

"The storyline is very original and imaginative (I don't think that I've ever read a book like this) and the adventure is absolutely crazy, filled with lots of twists and turns, and encounters with some very strange people (such as Crazy Ned).

I'd totally recommend it to other people. This book doesn't really have to be for just kids because I'm sure that there are other teens out there like me, or even adults, who would like a light read that's really funny."

So, dear Kindle Reader (hey, that's you!)...if you haven't read Bloated Goat yet, I hope you'll give it a shot.


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## Carl Ashmore (Oct 12, 2010)

Hi Manley,

Just wanted to pop in and say this is one of my favourite kids books on Kindle. Well done, sir. What's next for the Goat?


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Carl Ashmore said:


> Hi Manley,
> 
> Just wanted to pop in and say this is one of my favourite kids books on Kindle. Well done, sir. What's next for the Goat?


Thanks so much, Carl. That means a lot coming from you.

Well, what's next for Bloated Goat? That's a good question as I have a few ideas rolling around in my head. I think it may be time for Bloated Goat to visit his equally bloated family. But, let's keep that on the down low for now...I haven't mentioned it to him yet.


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## Carl Ashmore (Oct 12, 2010)

Then my lips are sealed


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## blubee (Feb 1, 2011)

I bought a sample on amazon and had my 11 year old daughter read it. She likes it and wants the whole book   So I'm off to amazon to buy it.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

blubee said:


> I bought a sample on amazon and had my 11 year old daughter read it. She likes it and wants the whole book  So I'm off to amazon to buy it.


Thanks, blubee. I really appreciate it. My 11-year-old daughter was my first reader while I was writing, so she is always tickled when other kids her age enjoy the book, too. Also, a little bit of trivia: my daughter is the one who drew and colored the cover art for Bloated Goat.


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## Carl Ashmore (Oct 12, 2010)

And a great cover it is.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

I'm happy to announce that Bloated Goat received another great 5-star review on Amazon US. Here is an excerpt:

"The humor is full of pop references, self-referential asides, and flatulence. This is exuberant merriment and wild escapades. Don't miss out. Read it now!"

Also, you can read an interview I did with David Wisehart over at Kindle Author. Bloated Goat is the main topic: http://kindle-author.blogspot.com/2011/02/kindle-author-interview-manley-peterson.html

Bloated Goat is $.99 on Kindle and other formats.


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## Carl Ashmore (Oct 12, 2010)

I shall give this a sincere flump


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Have you or your children checked out Bloated Goat yet? If not, give it a try today. You can sample it on Kindle, Nook, Smashwords, and my website: http://manleypeterson.blogspot.com/. Bloated Goat is available for $.99 and a smile.


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## Carl Ashmore (Oct 12, 2010)

A bump for the goat.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

If you bump Bloated Goat in the paunch too much, he's liable to spew his stomach contents all over you. Now, wouldn't you feel silly trying to explain to your loved ones why you have chocolate-covered grapefruit pieces and ham-flavored suckers in your hair?


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## Carl Ashmore (Oct 12, 2010)

Ah, but that is a very common look for me.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat is featured on Holly's Bargain eBook Blog today. You can see it here: http://bargainebooks.blogspot.com/


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat is included in the Smashwords promotion. It is currently free during March 6 to March 12. I hope you'll give it a try.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat is $.99 on Kindle. Buy it for your kids. They'll thank you later.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat received a great 5-star review recently. Here is a quick excerpt from Nicole MacDonald:

"I LOVED this story! The best laugh I've had for .99c period ... I absolutely HAVE to insist you read the sample chapter!! I've been driving my husband nuts for the last few nights I read this due to all my shrieking and cackling at it. It's a fantastically ridiculous adventure ... It hit every note for me and I give it 5 stars. Trust me, read the sample chapter you'll be hitting the one click button by the time you finish it ' This is a short, sweet and down right hilarious story. Bravo to the author!"

Bloated Goat is available for $.99 on Kindle (and other formats): http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Another week passes and Bloated Goat is that much closer to his goal of being fatter than the planet Mercury.

Also, two new reviews:

1. A Cozy Reader's Corner Reviews (http://acozyreaderscorner.blogspot.com/2011/03/bloated-goat.html

2. MotherLode http://gracekrispy.blogspot.com/2011/03/review-bloated-goat-by-manley-peterson.html

If you haven't sampled it yet, now is your chance to find out why so many reviewers love Bloated Goat!


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## stacyjuba (Jul 12, 2010)

Sounds like a fun story!


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

stacyjuba said:


> Sounds like a fun story!


Thanks, Stacy. I had a lot of fun working on it. Even better: no goats were injured during the writing of this book.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat is available for $.99 on Kindle.

Perfect for any reader who loves weird and wacky fantasy fiction featuring roosters, hammerhead sharks, skunks, rats, and other lovable creatures.

Check out my website for more info: http://manleypeterson.blogspot.com/


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Do you know anyone looking for a funny book?

Check out Bloated Goat for $.99 on Kindle (and other formats).

You can read a large sample on my blog right now.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

My middle grade children's book *Bloated Goat* was featured on The Indie Spotlight this week: http://www.theindiespotlight.com/?p=5146


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Check out my blog at http://manleypeterson.blogspot.com/ for more information about Bloated Goat. Read the sample and buy it on Kindle. There are lots of great reviews.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat received a great new review on Amazon:

"I've been reading The Bloated Goat on the subway to and from work for the past few days. It got to be really embarrassing because I would be sitting there cackling like a crazy train lady amid the silent, serious strap-hangers. I am going to read it again, just to relish some of my favorite ridiculous moments. Mr. Peterson's silly turn of phrase is effortless, and seems to emit from a genuinely funny person, not just someone trying to be funny for posterity. I was impressed with the diverse cast of characters; sometimes a lot of characters can be hard to follow, but they were all so distinct and original, linked together with a common thread of madness and hilarity. I loved every one of them. After a stressful night at work, I always looked forward to reading a few more pages of this story about friends, feathers and flatulence."

So, there you have it...you can enjoy a wacky story that will be leave you "cackling like a crazy train lady."

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW/


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Brand new cover art for Bloated Goat.

New, updated text adding over 2000 words.

Even funnier than before.

Check it out on Kindle.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Have you noticed Bloated Goat yet? Read it today for a good laugh. Perfect for ages 8 to adult.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Looking for an original story for your tween? Check out Bloated Goat on Kindle for a humorous fantasy sure to make your child smile and laugh.

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW

Check out Manley's Bookshelf for more info: http://manleypeterson.blogspot.com/


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Looking for a good laugh? Check out Bloated Goat and enjoy an entertaining and funny read.

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat received a 5-star review recently:

"I read this with my Granddaughter and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was abit mischevious and absurd, but funny and it was lovely to hear my Granddaughter laugh so much. Fun stuff. I recommend it to everyone for a cheeky giggle." - posted by Grannyreader

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW/


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## Carl Ashmore (Oct 12, 2010)

Bumpin the goat 

_[future gratuitous bumps and responses to them will be removed, sorry. Not in the spirit of the rules. Thanks --Betsy]_


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Carl Ashmore said:


> Bumpin the goat


Thanks, Carl. Bloated Goat appreciates the help and would love to give you a hug...but he just fell unconscious again after eating a paper bag full of brake pads.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Did you have a rough week? Read a funny book like Bloated Goat and start laughing away the stress.

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Do you like funny animated movies like Kung Fu Panda 2 and Rio? If so, you'll love Bloated Goat.

You'll discover a whole cast of wacky characters doing what they do best - getting tangled up in humorous situations and making you laugh!

One recent Kindle reviewer said, "...this story is like reading a cartoon that comes to life in your head."


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Looking for an adventure to tickle your funny bone? Try out Bloated Goat!

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW/


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Kids love Bloated Goat...check out the Amazon product page for great reviews: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat. It's what's for dinner...time...reading...


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Summer vacation is almost over. And that means Bloated Goat has been sitting out in the sun for several months. The time is ripe to buy the book and have some fun.

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

It's "back to school" time - and kids the world over are sobbing. But, never fear...Bloated Goat is here.

If you need a quick laugh, give it a try: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW/


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## Storymagus (Jun 30, 2011)

It's nice to see other authors out there putting kids books on Kindle. I guess like me you are waiting in earnest for more Kid Kindle owners. I like the title, _The Bloated Goat_. Makes me think it must be flatulent and what kid isn't going to want to see read about a gassy goat. I thought about writing a book called _Bogeys, burps and poop_. No idea what it would be about but I bet it would fly off the shelve. In fact I am off to get on that immediately....

....scratch and sniff might be a step too far.

 Excellent work


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Storymagus said:


> It's nice to see other authors out there putting kids books on Kindle. I guess like me you are waiting in earnest for more Kid Kindle owners. I like the title, _The Bloated Goat_. Makes me think it must be flatulent and what kid isn't going to want to see read about a gassy goat. I thought about writing a book called _Bogeys, burps and poop_. No idea what it would be about but I bet it would fly off the shelve. In fact I am off to get on that immediately....
> 
> ....scratch and sniff might be a step too far.
> Excellent work


Thanks Storymagus. I absolutely agree. It is tough to market unique and original children's books, but I think times are slowly changing. I think sales will pick up for this Christmas. I'm hoping *Bloated Goat* will be introduced to a bunch of new readers, as well as my other book *Granny Gruesome*.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat is once again $.99 for a limited time. If you missed the goat the first time, get it while the getting is good.

Read all the great reviews on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW/


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat is $.99 on Kindle.

Bonus: Also included is a three chapter sample of Derek J. Canyon's The Elemental Odyssey, an exciting new young adult adventure novel.

Check it out: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Here's a short excerpt from Chapter 8 of Bloated Goat:

The entire population of the mushroom village was sitting in a large courtyard facing the head table. The Mushroom King was sitting at this wooden dinner table with a large white bib around this neck. He was quite satisfied with himself. He had marinated and seasoned Bloated Goat and placed him on a silver tray face up with an apple in his mouth. Sitting beside the king were his most trusted subjects and other members of the court. Everyone was waiting on the king to start eating, but he decided to start with a toast.

"My dear mushrooms&#8230;" he began.

But not everyone was listening to that useless prattle. Walter Wolf knew this was the perfect time to spring his chicken meal. Luckily, the mushroom guards near Cocky's cage had left their posts and gathered with the poorer mushroom folk at the edge of the crowd to hear the king's speech. Silently climbing up the tree, he raised his head level with the cage, and whispered, "Psst, hey kid. Psst."

Cocky had been sadly listening to the king's toastings and boastings when he was startled by Walter's voice. He turned quickly and looked at the wolf suspiciously. "What? Are you talking to me?"

"Well, yeah, do you see anyone else in this cage with you? I'm here to bust you out before you get eaten like that bloated meat sack down there," Walter said pointing in the king's direction. "Or would you rather wait for your turn on the grill?"

Whether it was sheer stupidity or the hopelessness of the situation, Cocky decided to take the wolf's help. He knew he shouldn't be anywhere near a hungry, salivating wolf; in fact, it was rule number seven in the Ultimate Chicken Survival Handbook. It was sandwiched right between rule number six-never trust anyone named The Colonel, and rule number eight-always keep the secret of which came first.

Cocky nodded to Walter. With his super sharp claws, Walter ripped open the lock like it was made of wet paper and hopped from the tree into the cage. "Quickly, quickly, climb onto my back before the guards return."

You can read the rest of Bloated Goat for $.99 on Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Here's a short excerpt from Chapter 11 of *Bloated Goat*:

Cocky woke up when he felt like he was floating. He looked down to find himself being moved back up the river bank by an invisible force. He looked back at Bloated Goat and Granny. They were starting to move up the bank, too.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Cocky yelled. "Granny, wake up!"

She didn't.

"Pipe down, buddy," someone said.

"Yeah, clap your trap," another voice added.

Cocky looked all around and didn't see anybody. He nervously asked, "Who said that?"

No one answered him, so he started to fidget and flap his wings. He dug his heels into the ground to stop his body, but they were instantly lifted up. He flapped his wings but couldn't gain any lift. He was held down tightly less than an inch from the ground but still moving.

After a few minutes of constant movement and stress, he started to feel sick to his stomach. He looked behind to make sure Granny and Bloated Goat were still with him. Suddenly, he felt a large group of air bubbles zipping through his intestines. His brain initially put his butt on standby, but a millisecond later it had upgraded the threat to Defcon 5. A breach was imminent.

Cocky smiled slightly as he let a big one go. It sounded like a mouse riding a Harley while playing the bagpipes. All at once, Cocky was dropped to the ground, and an oozing black mass seeped out from underneath his tail feathers.

"Eww, what is that? Am I leaking oil?" Cocky started to get worried.

"Oh! You're a horrible, horrible animal!" a strangled voice cried.

Another choked, "Hey, man, I got kids to take care of. Have you no decency?" There were more coughing and retching noises, and it sounded like someone had possibly been turned inside out.

Cocky peered closer and realized that the undulating black mass was actually hundreds, maybe thousands, of individual ants. He looked over and saw Granny and Bloated Goat nearby. All the ants that had been carrying them had streamed over to join the others standing in front of Cocky.

A big ant with a green helmet was chewing on a cigar (remember kids, no smoking!). He walked to the front of the crowd and yelled, "I need the damage report!"

Another ant ran up, saluted, and quickly replied, "Sir, yes, sir. Fifty-six are injured, thirty-two are dead, and we're still looking for fourteen more. They were the ones closest to ground zero. It doesn't look good, general."

"I'll say when it doesn't look good, soldier," the general stated. He looked up at Cocky for a few seconds trying to assess the situation. Cocky didn't say a word, but his stomach started to gurgle and his tail feathers fluttered. The general turned about-face, and announced to the crowd, "It doesn't look good, folks. The enemy has superior firepower-we cannot hope to win this battle. Let's pack up and go home."

The ants retreated in an organized fashion. Several shook their little fists at Cocky and mumbled obscenities as they formed into units. They started marching down the trail before Cocky could even blink sixty-three times. He ran over to Granny and woke her up. He excitedly told her about what had happened.

You can read the rest of *Bloated Goat* for $.99 on Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat is $.99 on Kindle and would be a good Halloween read for young teens. Check out the reviews.

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Halloween is a great time to check out a weird and wacky book. You can get Bloated Goat for $.99 on Kindle.

Here's one of the reviews: "I LOVED this story! The best laugh I've had for .99c period ... I absolutely HAVE to insist you read the sample chapter!! I've been driving my husband nuts for the last few nights I read this due to all my shrieking and cackling at it. It's a fantastically ridiculous adventure ... It hit every note for me and I give it 5 stars. Trust me, read the sample chapter you'll be hitting the one click button by the time you finish it ' This is a short, sweet and down right hilarious story. Bravo to the author!"

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Here's another sample from *Bloated Goat*:

Chapter Thirteen

Walter Wolf knew he was getting close to his prey. He was salivating almost constantly. He could almost taste a slowly roasted chicken leg lightly seasoned with secret herbs and spices. He imagined following that up with a goblet filled with bloated juices and a plate stacked high with tender goat meat. But he couldn't imagine what he would do with an old saggy shark.

Walter's stamina was almost at a breaking point. With no real food in his belly for a few weeks, he had thought more than once about eating his mother-in-law, but had decided against that to save his marriage. He had thought about dipping his own tail in ketchup and eating it, but just couldn't get himself to take the first bite.

Walter had been frustrated lately. Where were the plump little pigs trying to build homes when you needed them? Where was that tasty naïve gingerbread man running through the countryside? And where, oh where, was the little girl dressed in red clothes skipping through the woods with a basket full of goodies?

But now, Walter felt he had caught a break. He was close. Wonderful aromas were floating in the air. He could smell a goat lightly marinated in special sauce. He could smell the fresh and tender chicken with a hint of salt. And finally, he could sniff what could only be described as old lady jockey shorts and mothballs, which made his nose wrinkle in disgust.

Sneaking alongside The River, Walter could hear a large celebration in full swing. He quickly slithered up the bank and hid behind a tall pine. Carefully poking his head around the trunk, he could see what all the lively commotion was about.

A large bonfire was roaring in the middle of thousands of partying mushrooms. Nearby, a barbeque was being handled by several smiling mushroom cooks. One larger mushroom wearing a white chef's hat and an apron that proudly announced "Kiss a Shroom, Go Ka-boom!" was standing on a raised platform near a large black cauldron. He had several spice shakers and seemed to really enjoy sprinkling various seasonings on Bloated Goat, who was bobbing up and down in the brew.

Walter looked past the fire and saw a wooden cage hanging from a tree. The cage was swinging ever so slightly as a sad young rooster with trembling beak lips watched the cooking scene. He was grasping the bars so tightly that his hands had turned completely white, which wasn't a hard thing to manage since they were covered in white feathers. The rooster looked utterly downtrodden, and that brought a hungry smile to Walter's gaunt face. It's a shame you can't find cage free chicken anymore, Walter thought. Slinking away into the shadows, he waited for the perfect moment to spring into action.

Check out the rest of the story for $.99 on Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat is unlike any humorous middle grade story you've read before. You'll laugh out loud and cringe while reading the same sentence. All for $.99 on Kindle. Give it a try: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat is a laugh-out-loud adventure filled with killer mushrooms, stinky skunks, and a fat goat. You can't go wrong. Read it for $.99 on Kindle.

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Looking for a funny book for Christmas? Check out Bloated Goat. It is a laugh-out-loud adventure filled with killer mushrooms, stinky skunks, and a fat goat. Read it for $.99 on Kindle.

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat has 17 reviews on Kindle averaging 4 stars. Reviewers say it is funny, quirky, and wild. Give it a shot for $.99 and see what they are talking about.

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat is a laugh-out-loud adventure filled with killer mushrooms, stinky skunks, and a fat goat. You can't go wrong.

Read it for $.99 on Kindle. http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Here's a sample from Bloated Goat. If it tickles your fancy, you can buy it for $.99 on Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW

Chapter Four

"Can I help it that I'm a hungry carnivore?" Walter Wolf questioned his wife. "A guy's gotta eat, right?"

"Yes, I realize that, honey, but when my mother comes to visit that doesn't mean you get to gnaw on her hind leg," said Walter's nameless wife, as she carried her traumatized mother over to the couch and gently sat her down.

"Look, you don't even have a name, and I'm hungry. Your mother comes over here every day at lunchtime. What am I supposed to do? She smells so good! Besides, I wasn't going to eat all of her," Walter mumbled.

"You were hiding under the table with your bib on," his wife snapped.

Walter winked at his mother-in-law and licked his lips, "Yeah, well, she tastes pretty good for an old gal."

The mother-in-law shrank a little more into the couch.

Walter's nameless wife screamed in frustration, not because she felt angry at her crazy, hungry husband, but because she longed for a real name for herself. Then, a thought popped into her head. What if she added more dialogue? Wouldn't the author be forced to give her a name, then?

Her mind swimming with elegant possibilities, she walked up to Walter, stuck a furry finger in his face, and started an unplanned rant.

"Walter, fine. You know what? I'm sorry you don't like the fruits and vegetables I cook every night. I try the hardest I can. You know I was orphaned as a pup, but I was fortunate enough to have been adopted and raised by a large rabbit family that treated me as one of their own. And you know that I still have trouble cooking meat, but I feel like you don't care! I try so hard to provide a nice life for you. I keep the den clean. I wash your clothes and do the dishes. I'm constantly mending your sheep costume. Isn't that enough for you?"

Walter just stood there, taken aback. This wasn't in the script! Was his wife improvising? Was she trying to steal more screen time in the story?

The wife continued, "I know you love me. I know it! But would it be too much for you to tell me once in awhile? I'm a she-wolf, and I need your attention. I need you to tell me that you love me. I need to know that you care about me and my family, even if they are rabbits. I have needs, Walter! Real, imaginary book character needs."

And with that, the nameless wife fell to the floor in the most spectacular dramatic fashion and started crying like her favorite TV soap operas were going off the air. The loud sobs echoed in the tiny house. The mother-in-law just sat on the couch, scowling and twitching her nose at Walter. Three hours later, when the last tear had fallen and sufficient time had been wasted, the nameless wife remembered her next line of dialogue.

"Anyway, a rabbit cousin called this morning and said she saw a most peculiar sight. A rooster and a decrepit shark were dragging a bloated goat around on the other side of the forest. I didn't want to tell you right away, because you always get that frenzied look in your eye and I knew you'd go after them like flies to stink. But, even though I need you here to help with the chores, I can see that you need to get out of the house before you eat my poor mother. In which case, I'd be forced to kill you. So go! Go and thicken the plot."

Walter knew that he needed to save the scene. His wife had gone too far. He thought back to all his acting lessons and took a deep breath. He casually walked over to her and put his arms around her affectionately. He looked in her face and said, "Oh, sweetie, please don't cry. You're right. You're right. I sometimes forget how you were raised. You mean so much to me. I really DO care for you. And I'll try to be more considerate when it comes to gnawing on your family members. But listen, you have to be careful here. You can't just stand here and spout off such a long, unplanned monologue, even if it does fill in your useless back story. You see, without a name, the reader just doesn't care very much about your character. Do you understand? You're trying too hard, and no one likes a spotlight stealer. There, I just had to get that off my chest. Okay, so, you stay here and think about what I said. I'm going to go to the other side of the forest and find those walking TV dinners. I promise to bring them back, or my name isn't Walter O. Wolf."

"What? When did you get a middle name?" his wife shouted. She was very angry at Walter for being so condescending in the last paragraph, but having a middle name was the last straw. She couldn't believe that her second-rate husband had three whole names and she still didn't even have one.

Walter grew red in the face and took a step back from his wife. "Oops, I forgot you weren't supposed to know that yet. But, it looks like the cat is out of the bag. There's no going back now. It's true. I have a middle name. I am Walter Onassis Wolf."

His nameless wife flopped down on the couch next to her mother and cried on her shoulder. The old rabbit patted her daughter's snout and whispered a few encouraging words. Then, she turned and sneered at Walter. Her cuddly face contorted and twisted into the most ferocious expression Walter had ever seen on a rabbit. Truthfully, it chilled him to his core. His tail immediately dropped between his legs, and he ran yelping out the door into the forest. He had run about two miles before he remembered the script and started hunting for a rooster, an old shark, and a bloated goat.


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Looking for a funny children's book? *Bloated Goat* is a laugh-out-loud adventure filled with killer mushrooms, stinky skunks, and a fat goat. Read it for $.99 on Kindle.

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Here's a short excerpt from Chapter 8 of *Bloated Goat*:

The entire population of the mushroom village was sitting in a large courtyard facing the head table. The Mushroom King was sitting at this wooden dinner table with a large white bib around this neck. He was quite satisfied with himself. He had marinated and seasoned Bloated Goat and placed him on a silver tray face up with an apple in his mouth. Sitting beside the king were his most trusted subjects and other members of the court. Everyone was waiting on the king to start eating, but he decided to start with a toast.

"My dear mushrooms&#8230;" he began.

But not everyone was listening to that useless prattle. Walter Wolf knew this was the perfect time to spring his chicken meal. Luckily, the mushroom guards near Cocky's cage had left their posts and gathered with the poorer mushroom folk at the edge of the crowd to hear the king's speech. Silently climbing up the tree, he raised his head level with the cage, and whispered, "Psst, hey kid. Psst."

Cocky had been sadly listening to the king's toastings and boastings when he was startled by Walter's voice. He turned quickly and looked at the wolf suspiciously. "What? Are you talking to me?"

"Well, yeah, do you see anyone else in this cage with you? I'm here to bust you out before you get eaten like that bloated meat sack down there," Walter said pointing in the king's direction. "Or would you rather wait for your turn on the grill?"

Whether it was sheer stupidity or the hopelessness of the situation, Cocky decided to take the wolf's help. He knew he shouldn't be anywhere near a hungry, salivating wolf; in fact, it was rule number seven in the Ultimate Chicken Survival Handbook. It was sandwiched right between rule number six-never trust anyone named The Colonel, and rule number eight-always keep the secret of which came first.

Cocky nodded to Walter. With his super sharp claws, Walter ripped open the lock like it was made of wet paper and hopped from the tree into the cage. "Quickly, quickly, climb onto my back before the guards return."

You can read the rest of Bloated Goat for $.99 on Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat is a laugh-out-loud adventure filled with killer mushrooms, stinky skunks, and a fat goat. Check out the mediocre reviews!!! You won't be impressed!!! (Just checking to see if you are reading this...)

Read it for $.99 on Kindle. http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Bloated Goat is a unique fantasy story suitable for ages 8 and up. It is a humorous, light-hearted adventure filled with crazy characters (like Cocky Doodle and Granny Hammy) who are thrown into wacky situations (like a skunk wedding and a mushroom feast), and it is similar in spirit to Shrek, Madagascar, and Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Check out the good reviews on the product page.

Here is the product page link: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW

Here's the book description:

When Granny Hammy finds Bloated Goat face down in her front yard's drainage ditch, her grandson Cocky Doodle thinks nothing of it. In fact, he says that's just another normal day for his best friend. But when they discover that Bloated Goat has little black Xs for eyes and is even more bloated than normal, they realize it is much more serious.

Follow them on a humorous adventure as they get tangled up with jewel thieves, a despondent wolf, an alligator gangster, a kingdom of hungry mushrooms, a shocking skunk wedding, and a mysteriously powerful chameleon known as Crazy Ned.

But don't take my word for it. Read the following fake quotes for more convincing words:

"This is one the funniest books about bloated goats and talking animals I've ever read." - A random, imaginary kid

"If I was stuck on a deserted island with nothing but this book, I'd probably read it at least once." - An important kid, possibly your best friend or son or daughter


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Looking for a funny children's book? *Bloated Goat* is a laugh-out-loud adventure filled with killer mushrooms, stinky skunks, and a fat goat. Read it for $.99 on Kindle.

http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## alexjrado (Apr 10, 2012)

Bloated Goat looks great.
I am going to check it out.
I just wrote my first little ebook on budget and am loving seeing everyone's work.
Everyone is a true writer. Amazing.

Lots on the shelves.
This is Fun! Haha


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

*Bloated Goat* is a laugh-out-loud adventure filled with killer mushrooms, stinky skunks, and a fat goat. Read it for $.99 ($0.00 for PRIME members) on Kindle.

Check out the reviews and give it a try: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Carl Ashmore (Oct 12, 2010)

i'm still loving the goat


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Get ready to enjoy a gut-busting adventure full of crazy forest animals and hilarious dialogue. You'll meet Granny Hammy, Cocky Doodle, Bloated Goat, and a wide assortment of other wacky characters as they romp around the forest. It seems everyone wants to get Bloated Goat for one reason or another, but you'll have to read the book to experience the explosive ending.

If you enjoy Pixar and Walt Disney films, you will definitely enjoy reading Bloated Goat.

You can purchase it here: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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## Manley (Nov 14, 2010)

Get ready to enjoy a gut-busting adventure full of crazy forest animals and hilarious dialogue. You'll meet Granny Hammy, Cocky Doodle, Bloated Goat, and a wide assortment of other wacky characters as they romp around the forest. It seems everyone wants to get Bloated Goat for one reason or another, but you'll have to read the book to experience the explosive ending.

If you enjoy Pixar and Walt Disney films, you will definitely enjoy reading *Bloated Goat*.

You can purchase it here: http://www.amazon.com/Bloated-Goat-ebook/dp/B0044KM1CW


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