# Did you really ask me that? Fifty Shades of Gray.



## cinisajoy (Mar 10, 2013)

I hope I put this in the right place.
I am still giggling over a question that was asked of me on Saturday.  We were talking about my Kindle Fire and the lady flat out asked me "Have you read Fifty Shades of Gray?"  I answered her no I hadn't because the book was $10 and I don't pay that much for pr0n.  She kind of giggled and said well someone else she knew was reading it in book form and had paid $15.  At that point, my husband said that I was cheap on buying books.
I don't think it even dawned on her what she was asking.  I don't think I would have the nerve to ask someone if they had read Fifty Shades of Gray.  That is just way personal.
So has anyone else had potentional embarrassing questions asked about their reading habits?

Now for the record Fifty Shades of Silver Socks and Hair was hilarious.  So was Fifty Shades Shadier.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

I don't have a problem with it. It's just a book. Someone did ask me once and I just answered honestly: "you know, I tried a sample, and found the writing so poor I didn't ever bother to get the whole book." I don't think the asking is either rude or overly personal. It's a book people have heard of, for better or worse.

People ask me all the time about what I read. Usually I just tell 'em. Sometimes, if I know it's something they've never heard of, I'll also give brief description. It only bothers me when I'm _actually reading_ it and they interrupt me to ask.  But a general, a "Have you read. . . . " type question is no big deal.

Now, if I happen to not want to tell them about some _specific_ book, I just lie.  I might do that if I was reading some sappy, predictable bodice ripper which I usually find eye rolling ridiculous, but sometimes one is just in the mood for mindless fluff. 

Though, honestly, the older I've gotten the less I care what people think about what I read -- especially as the people asking usually don't read much of anything.


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## cinisajoy (Mar 10, 2013)

Oh and yes I did read the sample too.  I found it rather typical and boring.  I think it was more the do you realize what genre we are talking about.  But then I don't see how they sell some Laurell K Hamilton books in places like Dollar General.  Especially starting with book 6 in the Anita Blake series.
Tis in the mind of the beholder I guess.


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## MariaESchneider (Aug 1, 2009)

Weirdly, the last time I traveled and was reading my kindle in the airport, the lady behind me in line saw my kindle and said, "Oh I have one of those, but I don't have it with me.  Have you read 50 shades of gray?"

I have NO idea why. I thought it a weird question and had to disappoint her when I told her I was reading an Urban Fantasy (I'm not sure if she was familiar with the term).  She went on to chatter about what she was currently reading (Daniel Steel) and said she loved her kindle and so on.

Now why someone would shoot that out as a question, is beyond me.  I've often been asked what I'm reading, but I found it odd that someone would ask about that specific book.


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## Mandy (Dec 27, 2009)

For some reason, Fifty Shades of Grey seems to be synonymous with the Kindle to some people. If, for whatever reason, I mention that I have a Kindle, the "Have you read Fifty Shades?" question often follows. And yes, I've read it. Well, I read the first one and about a third of the second one. Let's just say that was precious time wasted...

And kinda off-topic, but sorta in the same vein... I don't read romance or porn, but back in my brand new Kindle days, I downloaded lots of erotic titles along with many other genres. I meticulously added all my books in different collections, and I listed the erotica as 'technical manuals'. My brother-in-law was checking out my new Kindle and clicked the 'technical manuals' collection. He turned red as a beet, and yeah...I was mortified...


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## LectorsBooks (Apr 30, 2013)

My guess is that a lot of people who don't normally read have read 50 Shades (I haven't read it). It's kind of like the Twilight for adults. If 50 Shades is the only book they've read in several years, that might be the first book they think to ask someone about. I don't really go see movies, so if someone I know is a movie buff, and I've recently seen a particular movie, that's the one I ask about. 

My personal experience is that hard core readers will typically ask "what are you reading?" or "have you found any new authors you like recently?" instead of asking about the popular book du jour. 

And about "appropriateness" the difference between Art and P0rn seems to be socially acceptablility. For some reason (popularity? sales? exposure? Not that kind of exposure, the other kind!), 50 Shades has been deemed "acceptable in public." 

What can I say, people are strange!


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## Kathleen Valentine (Dec 10, 2009)

Ann in Arlington said:


> Someone did ask me once and I just answered honestly: "you know, I tried a sample, and found the writing so poor I didn't ever bother to get the whole book."


My sentiments exactly.


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## Meemo (Oct 27, 2008)

Ann in Arlington said:


> I don't have a problem with it. It's just a book. Someone did ask me once and I just answered honestly: "you know, I tried a sample, and found the writing so poor I didn't ever bother to get the whole book." I don't think the asking is either rude or overly personal. It's a book people have heard of, for better or worse.


Yep - unfortunately I'd paid for it (well, my daughter ordered it and she's on my account, and even though it's the kind of book she loves, even she couldn't get past 30% because she found it so poorly written - I didn't get much further than she did). I think that 50 Shades has been all over the media so much that people just don't think twice about asking about it - and they may or may not know exactly what it's actually about, beyond "sex".

I don't mind if someone does ask me if I've read it - I'll tell them I tried, but couldn't even get to the "naughty parts" because I found it to be so poorly written. If someone asks my daughter (and they have) she'll not only tell them to steer clear, she'll give them a nice list of authors/books to try instead - same genre, better writing.


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## cinisajoy (Mar 10, 2013)

Meemo said:


> Yep - unfortunately I'd paid for it (well, my daughter ordered it and she's on my account, and even though it's the kind of book she loves, even she couldn't get past 30% because she found it so poorly written - I didn't get much further than she did). I think that 50 Shades has been all over the media so much that people just don't think twice about asking about it - and they may or may not know exactly what it's actually about, beyond "sex".
> 
> I don't mind if someone does ask me if I've read it - I'll tell them I tried, but couldn't even get to the "naughty parts" because I found it to be so poorly written. If someone asks my daughter (and they have) she'll not only tell them to steer clear, she'll give them a nice list of authors/books to try instead - same genre, better writing.


I want to ask your daughter for recommendations. Though I do have to agree with you that I don't think most people think about what the subject is just that it has been in the media so it must be a good book.
And before you ask no I do not have much erotica on my kindle, I prefer murder mysteries most days.


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## Meemo (Oct 27, 2008)

I can tell you a couple of specific books that she always mentions when people ask her about "erotica":  Beautiful Disaster (by Jamie McGuire).  Poughkeepsie (by Debra Anastasia).  She likes Lori Foster a lot (and told my other daughter about those books and she liked them a lot too).  Also Megan Hart.  

I just asked her specifically about 50 Shades "alternatives" and she immediately said Cara McKenna ("Willing Victim" was her favorite of her books).  Also Meg Maguire (who is actually Cara McKenna but more about the love story and less about the "gritty".)  She also mentioned Anne Calhoun & Lauren Gallagher.  Those are probably all 50-Shades type books, not just erotica, but that specific type of erotica.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

The woman next to me on our flight home from Denver, a week or so ago, was reading the second 50 Shades book on her Kindle.  I made no comment.

Betsy


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## cinisajoy (Mar 10, 2013)

Meemo said:


> I can tell you a couple of specific books that she always mentions when people ask her about "erotica": Beautiful Disaster (by Jamie McGuire). Poughkeepsie (by Debra Anastasia). She likes Lori Foster a lot (and told my other daughter about those books and she liked them a lot too). Also Megan Hart.
> 
> I just asked her specifically about 50 Shades "alternatives" and she immediately said Cara McKenna ("Willing Victim" was her favorite of her books). Also Meg Maguire (who is actually Cara McKenna but more about the love story and less about the "gritty".) She also mentioned Anne Calhoun & Lauren Gallagher. Those are probably all 50-Shades type books, not just erotica, but that specific type of erotica.


Tell your daughter thank you for me. Much appreciated.


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## Donna White Glaser (Jan 12, 2011)

Mandy said:


> I listed the erotica as 'technical manuals'.


I so love this! I also read the 1st and about a 1/3 of the second before getting bored.
I think people felt freer to buy 50 Shades if they were using a Kindle because you didn't have to be all "out there" with the book cover. Plus I think the timing of the book's upsurge and the "it's hot to buy a Kindle" phase were fairly close in time. 
It really is a strange question, though.


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## history_lover (Aug 9, 2010)

cinisajoy said:


> I hope I put this in the right place.
> I am still giggling over a question that was asked of me on Saturday. We were talking about my Kindle Fire and the lady flat out asked me "Have you read Fifty Shades of Gray?" I answered her no I hadn't because the book was $10 and I don't pay that much for pr0n. She kind of giggled and said well someone else she knew was reading it in book form and had paid $15. At that point, my husband said that I was cheap on buying books.
> I don't think it even dawned on her what she was asking. I don't think I would have the nerve to ask someone if they had read Fifty Shades of Gray. That is just way personal.
> So has anyone else had potentional embarrassing questions asked about their reading habits?
> ...


My MOM asked me if I had read Fifty Shades of Grey. My mom. Asking if I'd read an erotic novel. I know we're close and all... but come on, before Fifty Shades she never would have broached that subject with her daughter. Why is it that some rather averagely written erotic novel hits the mainstream and suddenly it's socially acceptable to talk about it whenever, wherever, and with whoever. What's next? The Queen will be reading it?

To clarify, I don't have a problem with talking about erotica, I don't mind when people ask if I've read it, even my mom - I just don't get why THIS is the novel that has broken social convention.


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## MariaESchneider (Aug 1, 2009)

history_lover said:


> My MOM asked me if I had read Fifty Shades of Grey. My mom. Asking if I'd read an erotic novel. I know we're close and all... but come on, before Fifty Shades she never would have broached that subject with her daughter. Why is it that some rather averagely written erotic novel hits the mainstream and suddenly it's socially acceptable to talk about it whenever, wherever, and with whoever. What's next? The Queen will be reading it?
> 
> To clarify, I don't have a problem with talking about erotica, I don't mind when people ask if I've read it, even my mom - I just don't get why THIS is the novel that has broken social convention.


Because it made the nightly news. My mom heard about it there and called me to ask me if I had heard of it, had I read it and was it really as scandalous as it sounded. I hadn't read it or even looked at it so I couldn't help her. She said, "Can you imagine what your father would think if he saw me reading it?" I said, 'Mom you don't even read romance books because you find them too smarmy and silly. I don't think you'd make it past page 3." She said, "Well, not if there are handcuffs in there. My gosh."

Scandalous. (And I have no idea if there are handcuffs. I simply don't care.)

We had a similar discussion about Harry Potter and its possible evils because that tome came up during a church sermon. It's all in how it's laid out and the number of people who hear about it.


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## leahzero (Jun 15, 2012)

Mandy said:


> And kinda off-topic, but sorta in the same vein... I don't read romance or porn, but back in my brand new Kindle days, I downloaded lots of erotic titles along with many other genres. I meticulously added all my books in different collections, and I listed the erotica as 'technical manuals'. My brother-in-law was checking out my new Kindle and clicked the 'technical manuals' collection. He turned red as a beet, and yeah...I was mortified...


This is priceless. It almost sounds like the setup to an erotica novel in itself! 

So, when I'm trying to hide erotica on my Kindle, I think I'll put it under Cookbooks...


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## cinisajoy (Mar 10, 2013)

leahzero said:


> This is priceless. It almost sounds like the setup to an erotica novel in itself!
> 
> So, when I'm trying to hide erotica on my Kindle, I think I'll put it under Cookbooks...


It works since you get hot either way.


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## history_lover (Aug 9, 2010)

MariaESchneider said:


> Because it made the nightly news.


But why? Why did THIS erotica make the nightly news?


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## MariaESchneider (Aug 1, 2009)

history_lover said:


> But why? Why did THIS erotica make the nightly news?


Possibly because it was first popular on the internet/self-published and was then "discovered?" I didn't see the piece so I don't know how they chose to portray the story. I know that the "scandalous" nature was somehow conveyed because of mom's reaction. But like most news stories they aren't actually going to say what is in the book, gads, no, it is TOO scandalous for that. I think my mom was hoping I'd actually know what was in it. There's nothing like a hint to make people curious. "No, it's too dangerous! DO NOT FLICK THAT SWITCH!" "But why?" "IT'S TOO DANGEROUS. DON'T EVEN ASK!!!"

Twilight had a bit of the same mystique until the movies were made, I think. But I don't follow any of that other than what I read on forums so I could be wrong about the two having similiar "scintillating" factors.


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## history_lover (Aug 9, 2010)

MariaESchneider said:


> Possibly because it was first popular on the internet/self-published and was then "discovered?"


Surely, there is plenty of other popular, self published erotica?


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## MariaESchneider (Aug 1, 2009)

history_lover said:


> Surely, there is plenty of other popular, self published erotica?


I don't know of any, but I don't follow that genre. I'm sure there are popular ones, but I don't know if they were picked up by publishers and made the NY times and so on. Shrug. Maybe it was a slow news day. I don't watch any of the normal network news except when I'm visiting mom and I tell you what, they pick some oddball stories sometimes.


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## cinisajoy (Mar 10, 2013)

history_lover said:


> Surely, there is plenty of other popular, self published erotica?


I don't know about the popular part but there is plenty of erotica out there. Whatever your kick is you can find it if you look.


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## KevinH (Jun 29, 2013)

It wouldn't bother me if someone asked me if I'd read it. It's a book, and being asked about it wouldn't bother me any more than being asked if I'd read _Frankenstein_, _Lonesome Dove_, _Ender's Game_, what have you.


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## bhazelgrove (Jul 16, 2013)

It is the Playboy everyone reads for the articles. Too bad the writing is so bad people could say then that they are reading it for the literary quality and not the smut....but in reality there is only the smut.


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## cinisajoy (Mar 10, 2013)

bhazelgrove said:


> It is the Playboy everyone reads for the articles. Too bad the writing is so bad people could say then that they are reading it for the literary quality and not the smut....but in reality there is only the smut.


Gee and here I thought it was Playboy for the bunnies and Penthouse for the articles. 
Though must agree on the bad writing.
No wait it was Hustler that usually did have good articles.


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## Anne Berkeley (Jul 12, 2013)

It wasn't that smutty, but I didn't mind the story either. And if someone asked me, I wouldn't mind. I've read much worse in romance novels.


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## Zoe York (May 12, 2013)

I've read and enjoyed much worse in romance novels.  There are tons of books I enjoyed way more, as well, but there's something uniquely captivating about 50 shades. 45 million copies sold last year. That's a story that connected with readers in a way we could all only dream of, and to deride it for being poorly written misses the point that writing is more than grammar, sentence construction or vocabulary. [Which doesn't mean I wouldn't have loved to take a red pen to it before it was published!]

And as a point of order, apparently it was not self-published, but small-press published?


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