# Who has a 12 year old?



## Angela Carlie (Mar 10, 2011)

Mr. Munchkin, who is at the I-know-everything-and-will-argue-until-blue age of 12, was required to bake something at home today for his home economics class. Why they offer home economics in sixth grade with no kitchens for the students to use at the school is beyond me.

This is the reason I only have one child: zero patience! I'm so glad the sugar cookie fiasco is over. Deep breaths. 

So, what did your twelve-year-old do today?


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## Carol (was Dara) (Feb 19, 2011)

Angela Carlie said:


> So, what did your twelve-year-old do today?


Um, I _was_ a twelve year old once. Is that anything like having one?  Seriously, my kids are only five and six right now but my day is coming... Good luck to you.


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## GreenThumb (Mar 29, 2009)

I have a 12-year-old.  No home ec offered in her school, though.  She did come home the other day with an assignment to create a cook book based on ancient Greek recipes, and to provide samples of the food for her class--and the food was required to be "store bought".  So.....where do you buy ancient Greek food, and why should I be required to pay for that?


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## Pawz4me (Feb 14, 2009)

Yesterday my 12-yo worked on his Spanish and keyboarding a little (we homeschool, but are on summer mode now) and played first base in a baseball game that his team lost.  The other team had a walk-off grand slam and won 7 to 6.


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## Sandpiper (Oct 28, 2008)

GreenThumb said:


> So.....where do you buy ancient Greek food, and why should I be required to pay for that?


What did ancient Greeks eat? Only Greek food I can think of that may have been around in ancient times is olives and feta cheese. We weren't there hundreds of years ago (thousands?) and parents weren't in the child's class today.


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## valleycat1 (Mar 15, 2011)

LOL.  I googled recipes ancient Greece & there are actually websites about Greek food with recipes included.  I think for school I'd go with honey.


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## Angela Carlie (Mar 10, 2011)

GreenThumb said:


> I have a 12-year-old. No home ec offered in her school, though. She did come home the other day with an assignment to create a cook book based on ancient Greek recipes, and to provide samples of the food for her class--and the food was required to be "store bought". So.....where do you buy ancient Greek food, and why should I be required to pay for that?


Okay. I'm done complaining! hahaha Oh my. Where in Washington do you buy stuff like that--besides Seattle?


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## Colette Duke (Mar 14, 2011)

My youngest (of four kids) just turned thirteen. His main talent is convincing his dad he neeeeeeds things like subscriptions to online games . . . or, most recently, his own cell phone. His sisters had to get jobs and pay for their own phones. Learning the value of a dollar and all that. I cringe to think what level the boy's powers may reach by the time he's old enough to neeeeeed a car.  

But he likes to cook, and sometimes his homework is to make dinner for the family. I lucked out there, didn't I.


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## GreenThumb (Mar 29, 2009)

She ended up doing a map of ancient Greek battles instead after I had a fit about her teacher requiring expenditures in this economy.  Turned out, there were several options they could choose from.


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## bobavey (Sep 14, 2010)

I've had several -- two children, various dogs and cats.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Mine's only 8 but practicing to be 12.  She has the eye-roll down pat, and the "But Mamaaaa...." in that exasperated pre-teen tone. 

But thankfully, she does not yet know who Hannah Montana and Justin Bieber are.


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## Shellybean (Apr 22, 2009)

12 is, um, _special_ isn't it?

I have a 12 year old girl and a boy that will be 12 in 6 weeks. (they are less than a year apart, Dh's and mine from different marriages). I think I will lose my mind. I'm really getting tired of being the dumbest creature to walk the earth. Along with all the other parents (they each have two sets of parents).

The best thing? I also have a 10.5 year old girl and a nearly 9 year old girl. 12 is going to be the death of me. Especially the girls. The fake airheadedness is the worst.


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## Vegas_Asian (Nov 2, 2008)

When I went to school in Florida in the sixth grade we had home ec. Then switched to a DODDES (department of defense d____ education system) and had in eighth grade


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## Colette Duke (Mar 14, 2011)

Shellybean said:


> 12 is, um, _special_ isn't it?
> 
> The best thing? I also have a 10.5 year old girl and a nearly 9 year old girl. 12 is going to be the death of me. Especially the girls. The fake airheadedness is the worst.


I don't know for sure it's fake. IMO, their bodies are going through so much right now, their brains get left behind for a while. Mine older three have recovered, for the most part. Hang in there.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Have to agree with Colette . . at least some of it is probably hormonal airheadedness. . . . and may be as frustrating to them as to you!


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## Alle Meine Entchen (Dec 6, 2009)

I have 10 yrs before I have a 12 yr old (and I'm dreading it), but I did have to deal w/ my then 12 yr old niece when she lived w/ my ILs for about 6 mths (her mom had surgery that went bad so they moved in w/ ILs since they don't have a support system out where they live and MIL and FIL had drs appts they couldn't miss). I was the only one she would listen to, so I would frequently sit her down and explain to her why her actions were unacceptable. One time she got into a huge fight w/ MIL, she didn't want to go to school, she didn't learn, etc. MIL, who is unflappable, was near tears. I (6 mths preggers @ the time) sat down my niece and had a


Spoiler



"come to deity"


 convo w/ her. Things got better after that. Niece is now almost 15 and she still tells her parents she likes coming to my house b/c I make her "mind her manners" (translation, I won't let her get away w/ anything and I am consistant). I'm hoping DD won't be as hard to parent when she turns 12 b/c she'll be used to my parenting (and I know this may be wishful thinking)


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## Rhonda Helms (Apr 8, 2011)

I have a 12-year-old boy. He's on crack. The end.


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## ak rain (Nov 15, 2008)

and I thought it was just me and mine..
sylvia


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## hsuthard (Jan 6, 2010)

I have a 13yo boy and one who will be 12 in two months. It doesn't get better, as far as I can tell. How did I spend my Easter Sunday this year? After getting a phone call from another parent after we got home from church, I found out my son needed a full costume for Latin class, including tunic, subtonic, sandals, and decorative items. There were instructions on how to sew the costume appropriately for each class of citizen. Mind you, all fabric stores are closed on Easter Sunday, and we are having dinner with the grandparents out of town. I had to ransack the closets to find some muslin, grabbed a glue gun and some wine and off we went. We managed to pull it off, but I was furious with him! Apparently the costume was worth 20% of their grade! Some of the girls' outfits were stunning, most of the boys outfits looked like my sons LOL.


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## Rhonda Helms (Apr 8, 2011)

hsuthard said:


> I have a 13yo boy and one who will be 12 in two months. It doesn't get better, as far as I can tell. How did I spend my Easter Sunday this year? After getting a phone call from another parent after we got home from church, I found out my son needed a full costume for Latin class, including tunic, subtonic, sandals, and decorative items. There were instructions on how to sew the costume appropriately for each class of citizen. Mind you, all fabric stores are closed on Easter Sunday, and we are having dinner with the grandparents out of town. I had to ransack the closets to find some muslin, grabbed a glue gun and some wine and off we went. We managed to pull it off, but I was furious with him! Apparently the costume was worth 20% of their grade! Some of the girls' outfits were stunning, most of the boys outfits looked like my sons LOL.


HAHA--Oh, I so feel your pain...it always happens like that with my kids too. sigh


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## Alle Meine Entchen (Dec 6, 2009)

hsuthard said:


> I have a 13yo boy and one who will be 12 in two months. It doesn't get better, as far as I can tell. How did I spend my Easter Sunday this year? After getting a phone call from another parent after we got home from church, I found out my son needed a full costume for Latin class, including tunic, subtonic, sandals, and decorative items. There were instructions on how to sew the costume appropriately for each class of citizen. Mind you, all fabric stores are closed on Easter Sunday, and we are having dinner with the grandparents out of town. I had to ransack the closets to find some muslin, grabbed a glue gun and some wine and off we went. We managed to pull it off, but I was furious with him! Apparently the costume was worth 20% of their grade! Some of the girls' outfits were stunning, most of the boys outfits looked like my sons LOL.


if it makes you feel any better, my almost 15 yr old niece couldn't come in and spend the summer w/ her grandparents b/c she failed english and had to take summer school. If that wasn't bad enough, she had the nerve to complain about how boring summer school is! I reminded her she wouldn't have to do summer school if she had done the work during the school year.


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## Colette Duke (Mar 14, 2011)

rhondastapleton said:


> HAHA--Oh, I so feel your pain...it always happens like that with my kids too. sigh


Mine too. Poor little things then have to stay up late to do the work themselves, because I'm not doing it for them unless I get credit for it at school. ;-p


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## Pawz4me (Feb 14, 2009)

Twelve year old boys are easy!  We call from 9 to 12 the golden years.  Or at least that's the way it's been with our boys.  The trouble tends to start between 13 and 14.


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## Shellybean (Apr 22, 2009)

Colette Duke said:


> I don't know for sure it's fake. IMO, their bodies are going through so much right now, their brains get left behind for a while. Mine older three have recovered, for the most part. Hang in there.


I'm sure at least part of it is not at all fake but the cool thing in her circle seems to be to act all "Oh em ge!<hair toss> giggle giggle giggle" and use that face syrupy sweet voice. I've had to tell her more than once not to talk to me like that. It's maddening. I think it's an effort to get boys' attention. DH has told her and her friends that the boys that like dumb girls aren't the boys they want to be spending time with. lol

DD has also decided that school is just stupid and why should she even bother. I think we have that one undercontrol but only because we wield control over her cell phone and socializing.

Insane.

Part of it is that I have never been a giggling girly girl. I grew up on a farm with 4 brothers and know more about boy stuff than the girl stuff.


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## Thumper (Feb 26, 2009)

I had a 12 year old once. Luckily, he outgrew it... took about 5 years, but he finally outgrew it


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

hsuthard said:


> I have a 13yo boy and one who will be 12 in two months. It doesn't get better, as far as I can tell. How did I spend my Easter Sunday this year? After getting a phone call from another parent after we got home from church, I found out my son needed a full costume for Latin class, including tunic, subtonic, sandals, and decorative items. There were instructions on how to sew the costume appropriately for each class of citizen. Mind you, all fabric stores are closed on Easter Sunday, and we are having dinner with the grandparents out of town. I had to ransack the closets to find some muslin, grabbed a glue gun and some wine and off we went. We managed to pull it off, but I was furious with him! Apparently the costume was worth 20% of their grade! Some of the girls' outfits were stunning, most of the boys outfits looked like my sons LOL.


Who's project was it? If it had been my kid he would have just gotten a 0 for the grade. At some point they have to figure out you already passed 6th/7th/8th/etc. and it's not your job to do their homework!


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## hsuthard (Jan 6, 2010)

Ann in Arlington said:


> Who's project was it? If it had been my kid he would have just gotten a 0 for the grade. At some point they have to figure out you already passed 6th/7th/8th/etc. and it's not your job to do their homework!


He's my oldest, and usually pretty responsible. He did end up doing quite a bit himself, and we finished the entire thing in less than 30 minutes, so it wasn't a big hassle. What irked me was that this was definitely a project that required parental involvement at all -- 7th graders don't have bolts of muslin lying around.


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

I'm helping to raise my 12 yr old grandson. I'm in charge of school and extra-curricular activities. His teachers get to know me pretty quickly. We're talking an IQ of 136 and he can't remember to turn in his assignments. Yes, he's going to summer school only they don't call it summer school any more. It's credit retrieval. I was looking forward to two months of freedom from the alarm clock. 

Doesn't understand why he isn't allowed to swear or stay up all night or why he has to do chores. Everything is a battle.

The one thing about going through the 12 yr old phase with your own kids is you're pretty sure you'll live long enough to see them outgrow it when they're 35. I don't think I'm going to live that long with my grandson.


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## vsch (Mar 5, 2009)

12 was a breeze compared to 16.


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## Shellybean (Apr 22, 2009)

vsch said:


> 12 was a breeze compared to 16.


This is what scares me since my 12 year old girl already thinks she's 16 and should be treated that way. I keep praying that she get it all out of her system before she turns 16.


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## Colette Duke (Mar 14, 2011)

Shellybean said:


> This is what scares me since my 12 year old girl already thinks she's 16 and should be treated that way. I keep praying that she get it all out of her system before she turns 16.


One of mine made me a grandma (of twins!) by the time she was eighteen. Sorry, I'm trying not to blink at the idea of a 16-y-o having gotten over being an angsty, entitled, lacking-all-good-judgement . . . teenager. That said, my daughter did graduate with honors, and she's a fantastic mom. She grew up well and fast while she was seventeen. I'm sending good vibes to you all, hoping your kids learn some of life's lessons a little less dramatically than mine have.


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## s0nicfreak (Jun 10, 2010)

I have a 10 year old, but he isn't so bad... yet, at least. I also have 4 & 5 year olds that think they are 12, and a 1 year old that thinks he is 5.


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## Tonya (Feb 21, 2011)

He fought with me on why he should be able to sit in the family room and watch the NBA game with the other FIVE of us want to watch something different! AND there are seven other televisions in the house.


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## Colette Duke (Mar 14, 2011)

I'd wish you patience, but when I need patience the most, I tend to get pregnant.  So, um, here's some virtual chocolate instead.


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## Not Here (May 23, 2011)

Colette Duke said:


> I'd wish you patience, but when I need patience the most, I tend to get pregnant.  So, um, here's some virtual chocolate instead.


*ptff* That's great and I can totally understand. This is why after my last one, the hubby says "it's either you or me." Since I was already being hacked into, it was just easier to go with me.

No 12 year olds, 5 year old autistic & 2 year old, but I used to do the before and after school program the YMCA offers. I always say that 10+ is when the start to turn on you.

My mother in law made the funniest comment the other day. She wants to eventually just throw the grandkids in the car (all are like stair steps) and go on a trip. I said there's no way she's going to want to do that. She seems to think because they will all be older they'll be cool with popping off at flea markets or antique stores. Ha! I don't know how a woman who raised 3 boys can even think about that sort of thing. I guess that selective memory is really kicking in. Personally I still think it might be wise to invest in a Rolls Royce so I can block off the back from the front. Oh and from what I can tell, only thing that's worse than having a teen is having an autistic teen.


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## mom2karen (Aug 15, 2009)

Our dd is 11.5 and keeps us on our toes. We were in Yellowstone and had gotten up at 5:00 to see wildlife. We were walking to our hotel after dinner and our conversation went like this....

Me - It's going to be lights out early tonight.
11yo dd as she slugs DH and I "All those opposed say OUCH"

I automatically said ouch as she slugged me and since she said ouch too she declared that the motion was opposed 2-1. When DH and I were able to stop laughing at her perfect timing and delivery we informed her that it was a valiant effort.

A great book is "Yes Your Teen Is Crazy". 
 
It explains why they act the way they do and when/how to react.

[edited to fix link. --Betsy]


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Great story!

That link didn't work for me; this one does though:


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## Victorine (Apr 23, 2010)

I have a 12 year old boy. He's the second oldest. He's the first to jump up if I say I need help with something. He hasn't hit the I-know-more-than-you stage. 

Vicki


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## Colette Duke (Mar 14, 2011)

Yet another incident. 

My son left his wallet and iTouch in his pants pocket on the bench during gym class yesterday. Someone stole a bunch of kids' stuff, including his. He saved his money for so long to buy that thing. What was he thinking, not putting it in his locker?

Oh, right. He wasn't thinking.


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## KindleMom (Dec 11, 2008)

Victorine said:


> I have a 12 year old boy. He's the second oldest. He's the first to jump up if I say I need help with something. He hasn't hit the I-know-more-than-you stage.
> 
> Vicki


I have the same situation. Love my 12 yr old. He's out mowing the lawn right now. 

It's the 9 yr old daughter that gives me fits. I can't wait until she's hormonal in addition to her already pleasant personality.


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

mom2karen said:


> A great book is "Yes Your Teen Is Crazy". http://www.amazon.com/Yes-Your-Teen-Crazy-ebook/dp/B00267SS8G/ref=kinw_dp_ke?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2 It explains why they act the way they do and when/how to react.


Or as Bill Cosby says, they are all brain damaged.

That book has 93 out of 100 five star reviews. Got to be worth something.


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## Colette Duke (Mar 14, 2011)

Gertie Kindle 'a/k/a Margaret Lake' said:


> Or as Bill Cosby says, they are all brain damaged.


Hubby and I were just talking about that. We thought it was a funny exaggeration when we first heard it. We had nooooo clue it was pulled-directly-from-real-life truth.


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

Colette Duke said:


> Hubby and I were just talking about that. We thought it was a funny exaggeration when we first heard it. We had nooooo clue it was pulled-directly-from-real-life truth.


The Himself DVD is essential to raising children, along with a kitchen timer and McDonald's french fries.

Has anybody watched _My Teen's a Nightmare. I'm Moving Out_? Compared to these kids, my guy is a saint. I also watch supernanny. Good tips even for a 12 yr old.


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## stormhawk (Apr 29, 2009)

I do not have a 12 year old of my own, but do occasionally borrow a friend's (version 2.0, middle child edition). 

It's pretty easy because I can always give her back if things get complicated ... or I fall back on "ask your mother." 

Of course there are some topics that I'm better at than mom and dad.


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## Angela Carlie (Mar 10, 2011)

Victorine said:


> I have a 12 year old boy. He's the second oldest. He's the first to jump up if I say I need help with something. He hasn't hit the I-know-more-than-you stage.
> 
> Vicki


LUCKY!  I love my kiddo to pieces, but he tests me on a daily basis lately.


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## metal134 (Sep 2, 2010)

I don't have a 12 year old, but I have family and friends who do and I gotta tell you; I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.


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## TraceyC/FL (Mar 23, 2011)

I'm a week into my second go around of 12. She's easy!

But she isn't your normal 12yo either. She looks like she is 8 because of her turners syndrome, which her main physical marker is short stature. In her case, her cognitive skills happen to match her size... She won't go into puberty until next year when we start her on hormone therapy... And she will never have a child of her own, because if she has functioning ovaries - she will still more than likel go thru menopause by the time she is in her early 20's.

She's my huggy-loving child and I'd be willing to avoid the puberty thing... But the Endo won't let us. I'm thinking of inviting him to move in when he turns her into a teen!

Now, my oldest is a chore right now at 15.... 12 was easy.

How about she just ignore the diva princess 6yo... I have 5 years to get ready.

(oh and the other night at the building strong families program DD are doing, they said the brain starts residing around 12 and that it can take 8 years to finish.... Hence the problems!)


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## Sean Sweeney (Apr 17, 2010)

I have a 13-year-old second cousin who I'm ready to protect with my life. I've been sharpening an axe for her boyfriends since she was 9.


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

Sean Sweeney said:


> I have a 13-year-old second cousin who I'm ready to protect with my life. I've been sharpening an axe for her boyfriends since she was 9.


Can I borrow the axe to use on my nearly 13 yr old GS? 

Now that school is done, the current fight is over chores. He thinks he's the only person in the entire world that has to do chores and the only person who hates them. For a 15 minute job, he needs three breaks. I don't give him any breaks until a chore is done no matter how long it takes him.


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## SaraThacker (Jun 19, 2011)

I know this is a few days later, but my 12 year old went to camp today with my 14 year old so I'm kid-less for the week.


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## Colette Duke (Mar 14, 2011)

SaraThacker said:


> I know this is a few days later, but my 12 year old went to camp today with my 14 year old so I'm kid-less for the week.


*jealous* Mine just got out of school for the summer. We have a chore list pinned to the fridge. Some days it's more work to enforce the list than it would be to do the chores myself.

@TraceyC: I feel for you. My 16-y-o dd who has Down syndrome has hormone issues. I love her, but she's like an 8-y-o with sixteen years of life experience and the hormones to match. Not easy to live with some days.


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## AnnetteL (Jul 14, 2010)

I've got an almost 12-yr-old. Sent her off to camp this morning. I was going to wait around to wave good-bye to the bus, but she gave me a huge and informed me, "I'm saying good-bye. That means you can leave."

Message received.


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

AnnetteL said:


> I've got an almost 12-yr-old. Sent her off to camp this morning. I was going to wait around to wave good-bye to the bus, but she gave me a huge and informed me, "I'm saying good-bye. That means you can leave."
> 
> Message received.


Oh, that age. My oldest reached that one at age 5. 

GS has decided that since tomorrow is the longest day of the year, he doesn't have to do any chores. He's taking the day off. Of course, he's promised to do double chores on the shortest day of the year. I'm taking him to the library with me and maybe I'll even make him get a hair cut.


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## MaryKingsley (Mar 26, 2011)

I don't have a 12 y/o, but I do have a 14 y/o, and a girl, at that.  Sometimes when I talk my brain gets ahead of my mouth and i end up stammering a little, trying to put my words together.  She says that hurts her brain.  But - today she told me not to draw my words out so long.  I don't even know what that means!  All I know is, for the first time in months, I found one of her insults screamingly funny.  Sense of humor, folks.  we've got to hold onto that humor.


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

MaryKingsley said:


> I don't have a 12 y/o, but I do have a 14 y/o, and a girl, at that. Sometimes when I talk my brain gets ahead of my mouth and i end up stammering a little, trying to put my words together. She says that hurts her brain. But - today she told me not to draw my words out so long. I don't even know what that means! All I know is, for the first time in months, I found one of her insults screamingly funny. Sense of humor, folks. we've got to hold onto that humor.


Too true. I always advise new parents to remember how much they love that little baby because it will keep them from murdering him/her in the preteen/teen years.


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