# Dear Cats...



## Victorine (Apr 23, 2010)

If it's something for you, I put it on the floor.

If it's for me, I put it on the table.  

Please try to remember that.  I'm not sneakily sitting at the table eating your chunky salmon with sauce.  

Vicki


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## Thumper (Feb 26, 2009)

I think the rule around here (according to the cats) is that if it's on the floor, it's theirs. If it's on the table, it's theirs. If it's within sight, it's theirs. If it's withing comprehension, it's theirs. I just get to use things once in a while...


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## Victorine (Apr 23, 2010)

Your cats and my cats must be related.  LOL!

Vicki


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## mlewis78 (Apr 19, 2009)

My cat waits at my feet for any crumbs of food that may drop out of my mouth (and they do).  This is after I've already given her some salmon or chicken in her bowl.  It's never enough.


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## sherylb (Oct 27, 2008)

And is the whole head-butting thing really necessary!! 
Also, sitting primly in front of me like a _good_ cat minding your own business then suddenly whacking me with your paw to get attention- that was cute the first couple of times but it's been 14 years now and it's not cute anymore!! Sheesh!


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

My cats are weird. For the most part, they don't like people food. However, my cat of many names (Hope, Hopeless, Achmed, Satan's Mistress) must sniff my food. I think she's testing for poison.. She almost never tries to eat it.. Unless it's a cupcake or bread and butter.. She loves butter and buttercream frosting. But chicken, cheese, steak, eggs, milk... She turns her nose up at it.

I will add, it's not cute to scratch at the bathroom door at 5 am just because daddy closed it for his shower. He always opens it.. You can wait patiently.  It's also not cute to lay in wait under the bed and attack my feet when I'm trying to get all my gadgets plugged in to charge at night... Okay, actually it is cute, which is why I chase you around the bedroom, just so you'll do it again, but I have to keep up the appearance that it's not cute.


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## Victorine (Apr 23, 2010)

And it's not cute when you stand on my keyboard when I'm trying to typkkkkkksssssssssssieeeeeeeeeeefjjjjjjjjjjkkkkkkk


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## N. Gemini Sasson (Jul 5, 2010)

Nor is it cute when you leave evidence of The Great Hunt on the Welcome mat in front of the front door.  Thanks, but I do not want to share.


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## D. Nathan Hilliard (Jun 5, 2010)

Dear Human,

If I can reach it, it is mine. If you aren't looking, it is mine. If you are asleep, it is mine. If you offer it to me, I probably don't want it.

Thank you,

The Management ...a.k.a Your Cat


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

And another thing, please stop staring at me. It's creepy and makes me think you're trying to figure out where to bury my body...


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

D. Nathan Hilliard said:


> Dear Human,
> 
> If I can reach it, it is mine. If you aren't looking, it is mine. If you are asleep, it is mine. If you offer it to me, I probably don't want it.
> 
> ...


Let's simplify this.

No matter what you humans think, it's mine.


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## Victorine (Apr 23, 2010)

D. Nathan Hilliard said:


> Dear Human,
> 
> If I can reach it, it is mine. If you aren't looking, it is mine. If you are asleep, it is mine. If you offer it to me, I probably don't want it.
> 
> ...


Oh that's good. I'm printing this out and pasting it on my wall. 

Vicki


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## farrellclaire (Mar 5, 2010)

So my cat isn't just going through a stage then?  It would be nice to fall asleep knowing I wasn't going to suffer a claw attack at 4am.    The poor dogs would never get away with it.


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## DLs Niece (Apr 12, 2010)

Dear cat, standing on my chest while staring up my nose is NOT the proper way to wake the hand that feeds you. I have an alarm clock for that and there is nothing up my nose that will make me get up any earlier.

Speaking of my alarm, it rings for a reason and yes, I must raise my arm to turn it off. Raising my arm is not an invitation to attack me.

It is a pen... it is for making notes and taking down phone numbers.  It is not the most exciting toy to ever hit the market and NO you do not need each and every one of them. 

The Qtips in the bathroom waste basket are not alive, hiding from you or treasure to be buried. I put them in the waste basket because I wanted them there. I am not delighted to have them turn up battered and bruised in my sneakers, on my love seat... in what once was a freshly made bed...


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## purplepen79 (May 6, 2010)

Dear Maytag and Gus,
Please do not demolish the Christmas tree again this year or your Christmas privileges will be revoked.    

Dear Motley and Krueger,
Please don't rub all over the dogs and purr.  It makes them uncomfortable.

Dear Chessie Cat,
Just because I keep pets doesn't mean it's appropriate for you to have pets (I know you're the one who keeps putting live frogs in your water dish and the sump-pump hole in the basement--they didn't just hop in here on their own).  Also, if you cannot resist keeping frogs as pets, please do not, for the love of all that is unholy, put them under my bedcovers.  A dead mouse is bad enough to wake up with.  A live frog is even worse.  And no, I don't buy your story that you thought it was the frog prince.


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## Steph H (Oct 28, 2008)

"Mwowr...mew mew....mwwworooroororw" *

*Feed me. Love me. Give me your online password.


Love, Bugsy, Sassy, Roxy, Pixie, Gypsy and Ziggy


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

Steph H said:


> "Mwowr...mew mew....mwwworooroororw" *
> 
> *Feed me. Love me. Give me your online password.
> 
> Love, Bugsy, Sassy, Roxy, Pixie, Gypsy and Ziggy


Or I won't protect you from


Spoiler



harvesters.


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## Steph H (Oct 28, 2008)




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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

Dear Cats,

Why are you always on the wrong side of any door? Sure, T.S. Eliot noted it first, but I still want to know. 

Also, specifically my cat, Dixie -- why have you had it in for me the last fourteen years or so? I adopted you from a shelter, picked you out, and even though I know the exact cage you came from, I never did more than (mostly) jokingly threaten to return you to it. And I was provoked. Do you want to marry daddy? Is that it? I mean, is this a Freudian thing? Thank you though for the once a year or so when you forget you detest me and allow me to briefly pet you. I appreciate it.


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## loonlover (Jul 4, 2009)

Dear Cat (Elwood to be specific),

Why do you have to be in my lap any time I am using the phone?


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## farmwife (Oct 10, 2010)

Dear Cat,
The toilet paper roll isn't a toy I put on the wall for you to unroll.


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## julieannfelicity (Jun 28, 2010)

I love this thread 

When my Biddy-Kitty was alive, she would walk on my chest in circles and ultimately sit with her butt in my face when I was sleeping.  Um ... wasn't the most attractive view to wake up to.  

(  and I miss it even today)


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

Hahahaha, I'm so glad I don't have the only cat with bizarre morning routines. Avery will jump up on my chest and start purring, inching closer and closer to my face until -CHOMP- she bites my chin! It really hurts.


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

Dear Achmed,

There is a whole other floor of the house. You are not confined to my quarters. You are allowed downstairs. Please go explore... You've lived with us for more than 2 years now, it's time to get out and mingle... Ok, so all the other cats hate you. Please don't let that stop you. However, it is not nice to sit at the top of the stairs and not let the children come up. They are afraid of you.. Especially the 16 year old.

Dear Oreo (aka Thug), please stop attacking Achmed. We know you hate her.. Beating the daylights out of her will not make her go away. She can be really sweet, you should take the time to get to know her. (ok, not really, but still, you could at least make an effort)

And Oreo, please stop ripping out all the screens when the windows are open. I'm tired of replacing/fixing them on a weekly daily basis. I know you like going outside, but you're letting all the flies out.


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

Dear Prro, You are not a female cat, so stop nursing your nephew, he's almost 2 years old anyway, so it's not like he would be nursing on his mom if she were still here. Also, when I am curled up asleep, my hip is not your landing pad/sleeping area at 2am. I know you are a little bigger than the dog, but when we have company over, if you do not want people to laugh at you, do not play tag in the house. They think it's funny to see the dog chase you through the room, and then on your next pass through you are chasing him.


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

BTackitt said:


> They think it's funny to see the dog chase you through the room, and then on your next pass through you are chasing him.


Is there video?


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## Steph H (Oct 28, 2008)

Dear Sassy,

No, you really don't need to be in my lap every time I'm sitting at the computer. I'm okay if I'm on my own, I don't have to have one of you kids with me all the time. But if you're going to be in my lap, could you at least LAY DOWN instead of sitting there head-butting my hands that I'm trying to type with?

Dear Pixie,

I know you really really love me and you're my darlin' boy, but I really do know the way to the bathroom all by myself, you don't always have to jump up from your nap and accompany me (and more likely, trip me) along the way. I hate to disturb your 20 hours of sleep and all that, y'know.


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

BTackitt said:


> I know you are a little bigger than the dog, but when we have company over, if you do not want people to laugh at you, do not play tag in the house. They think it's funny to see the dog chase you through the room, and then on your next pass through you are chasing him.





MichelleR said:


> Is there video?


Well, no... but it happens fairly regularly, so I bet I could talk one of the kids into recording it sometime.. The dog & cat are like best friends, and this is how they play together.. The dog weighs 17 pounds, the cat 18..


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## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

Chasing my hand under the blanket is cute for a kitten, but a grown cat with claws that can go through the blanket can hurt me!


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## Holly A Hook (Sep 19, 2010)

Dear cats,

Please don't sit on my chest when I'm in the middle of typing something in a hurry.  I know that's your favorite place to sit, but not every 5 minutes, please.  Please don't jump up on my bed and lie on my face when I'm about to drift off and go to sleep.  Please don't run across my head and wrestle at 7am on weekend mornings, and please allow me to sleep in on said mornings.  

(I love my cats, though.  They're brother and sister, too.)


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## Victorine (Apr 23, 2010)

Dear cats,

Why must you always use the litter box while I'm scooping it?  Can't you hold it for a few minutes and give me time to get done?  It really doesn't take that long.

Vicki


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## Steph H (Oct 28, 2008)

Dear Ziggy,

Please see Vicki's message above.  That goes for you, too.

Love, Mommy


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## Holly A Hook (Sep 19, 2010)

Also Dear Cats,

Why must you dirty the litter box again RIGHT after I clean it?


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Dear cats,

You are all invited over to the boss's place for Thanksgiving dinner. The more of you who show up, the more I'll have thanks for.

Sincerely,
Noggin

PS: Please RSVP, so I know how many jars of gravy to get.


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## Steph H (Oct 28, 2008)

Dear Noggin,



















Hugs and kisses,
Bugsy, Sassy, Roxy, Pixie, Gypsy and Ziggy
on behalf of all cats everywhere


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## Shayne Parkinson (Mar 19, 2010)

Letters from the past:

Dear Kimi,
At 3 a.m. I'd really rather you dealt with that dead rat yourself rather than sharing the joy of the chase with me.

Dear Sura,
Yes, I know that one time out of 500 you manage to open the door by flinging yourself at the handle during the depths of the night. But those odds really aren't so great, are they?

Dear both,
I have to admit it was clever of you to bring a real, live bird inside to perch on the Christmas tree. But once was enough.


I do miss those rascals.


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## J.M Pierce (May 13, 2010)

Dear Clark,
I know, as a male, you are sometimes proud of your accomplishments and want to flaunt it proudly, but for the love of God, would you please cover up your poop after your done in the litterbox. I've known hundreds of cats in my life, and you, my friend, have the fowlest smelling fodder ever.

Sincerely,
Dad


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## purplepen79 (May 6, 2010)

Dear Noggin,

Have you been reading "The Walrus and the Carpenter" again?  Best poem ever, in this humble cat's opinion.  Thank you for the invitation but I'm hosting Thanksgiving for the frog prince and his entourage and won't be able to attend.  

Sincerely,
ChessieCat

P.S. What kind of sauce would you recommend for frog legs?  I'm asking this out of sheer catty curiosity, no other reason . . .  
P.P.S.  Clark is gorgeous!


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## LCEvans (Mar 29, 2009)

Dear Vinnie,

We miss you. This is our first Thanksgiving without you in many years. It will seem strange to be able to leave the buffet table up without a guard to prevent you from sticking your paws in the gravy and stealing the turkey. The Chihuahuas, however, will not miss you. I suspect they were always jealous of your ability to leap high over their heads and snare the food, while they could only watch and hope. 

But Vinnie, we miss you. I hope there's a huge turkey dinner for you and all your cat friends up in heaven. Peace my friend. Until we meet again.

Linda


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## meglet (Feb 14, 2009)

Dear Max,

You watched me fill the water bowl 10 minutes ago, because you said you were thirsty but then you changed your mind. Just because you've changed your mind again does not mean I need to fill the water bowl again. Just drink from the bowl already!

Also, when I say it's time to go to bed, and turn off all the lights so I can go to sleep, this is not the signal that it's time for you to play, and run all over the apartment, howling at the top of your lungs. Bedtime = sleep time!


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

purplepen79 said:


> ...
> P.S. What kind of sauce would you recommend for frog legs? I'm asking this out of sheer catty curiosity, no other reason .
> ...


I believe a simple butter sauce with a healthy dose of garlic would suffice, perhaps a dash of cayenne pepper if you're feeling spicy.

Noggin


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## DYB (Aug 8, 2009)

*Cat diary.*

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. 
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. 
Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. 
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.

I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."
I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously stupid.

The bird has got to be an informant.
I observe him communicate with the guards regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, 
so he is safe - for now...


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## talleylynn (Apr 24, 2009)

Poo - when I am holding a pen, it is for writing and not for scratching your ears.

Pepper - the middle of the night is not the time to go dancing on the heat ducts. It echos throughout the house. 
Also, clawing the cabinet door will not make me feed you when the bowl is already full!


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## sherylb (Oct 27, 2008)

DYB-


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## Emily King (Jun 9, 2009)

DYB said:


> *Cat diary.*
> 
> Day 983 of my captivity.


Oh my... I have not laughed like this in a long time... Brought me to tears! This was awesome! Please, can I share this on facebook? I will put you as the author...


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

Emily,
That's a well-known, and really awesome, piece. It's been around for 3 or 4 years at least and I think DYB was just sharing


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## Emily King (Jun 9, 2009)

MichelleR said:


> Emily,
> That's a well-known, and really awesome, piece. It's been around for 3 or 4 years at least and I think DYB was just sharing


Really? Shows what I know, and I can share! Thanks for letting me know...


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## DYB (Aug 8, 2009)

That was definitely not mine!  But I remembered reading it once when I saw this thread and found it to share here.  I don't actually know where it even originated.


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

I believe the piece was originally a short story in a SF cat anthology.


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## D.A. Boulter (Jun 11, 2010)

Dear Joe E Katt:

Thank you for the purrs and the joy you've given me over the last 11 months.  You hissed at me the first time I saw you in the shelter and offered you a nibblet of food -- the good stuff.  (As I recall, you ate the offering nonetheless.)  You came in emaciated and promptly got sick as well.  After that, they put you on Death Row, from which I rescued you through fostering.  Only after I got you home did they tell me you'd been brought in (ostensibly) for 'marking'.

As a 12-year-old Christmas Eve kitty, you've wildly exceeded all expectations.  A more fastidious cat in the litter box, I've not seen--I think they lied about marking.  Careful with your claws and generous with your purrs.  I don't know how anyone could have given you up, especially not in the poor shape in which you came in.  

I have nary a complaint.  However, that long-dead bird, covered in worms and/or maggots that you brought in as a toy?  I'd kinda prefer you left that sort of toy outside.

I end this in esteem,

Your Human.


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## purplepen79 (May 6, 2010)

I'm laughing too much to make any intelligent response to this thread, except ChessieCat would like to thank Noggin for the tip about the sauce.  She definitely likes it spicy.


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## Andra (Nov 19, 2008)

Dear Figaro,
I love you dearly, but Mommy does not have fur, so please keep your claws in when you play.
And thank you for learning to wait until the alarm goes off to do your vulture impersonation - yes, I will get up.
Mommy


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## kadac00 (Jan 30, 2010)

Dear Figaro - I realize you like this new ritual of yours to climb on my chest and stare at me as soon as I lay down so that we can have some quality "pet me" time, but in your excitement you often forget to let me pull the covers up first and your claws poke poppa.  The same goes for reaching out your paw and tapping me on the nose or cheek when I stop petting.


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## kadac00 (Jan 30, 2010)

Dear Sheba - You can do your old pathetic decrepit kitty routine at the bottom of the stairs so that I will carry you up to bed all you want.  I see you scampering around batting stuff through the kitchen when you think I'm not looking.  Nice try.  Your not fooling anyone.


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## kadac00 (Jan 30, 2010)

Dear Jasmine - A closed door does NOT mean that you've been left out and you need to find out what's going on on the other side.  Seriously, its just a closed door - please let me pee in privacy.  This is not some new trick that poppa has learned to entertain you.


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## kadac00 (Jan 30, 2010)

Dear Stripey - The content of your food bowl has not changed the last 5 times I just let you in to check.  Neither has the content of anyone else's food bowl.  Same applies to the weather.  If it was cold or rainy that last 5 times I just let you out then it probably hasn't changed yet.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Andra said:


> Dear Figaro,
> I love you dearly, but Mommy does not have fur, so please keep your claws in when you play.
> And thank you for learning to wait until the alarm goes off to do your vulture impersonation - yes, I will get up.
> Mommy


Heh...there was a period of about a year in my twenties when I lived with my parents while between jobs and then building up some savings when I got a new one. I got to sleep in the basement where Isabella the calico cat slept, too. I'm a snooze alarm sort of person, but Isabella was not. It did not take long before Isabella became my snooze alarm. First the alarm would go off. Next I'd hit the snooze button. Then I'd drift off to sleep again. Finally I'd wake up to the pressure of a cat standing on my chest and the feel/smell of warm feline breath in my face, with a look in her eyes saying, "I heard the alarm go off, so get up now and put some fresh food in my dish, you lazy bum!"


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## kadac00 (Jan 30, 2010)

NogDog said:


> It did not take long before Isabella became my snooze alarm.


Ah the luxury of a snooze alarm cat. We have a pre-alarm cat. Jasmine will usually beat the alarm going off by at least 30 minutes to let us know she is ready for her breakfast and to please get up NOW! She also does not have a reset for the time change! Her methods for waking us vary and including:
* Getting on the side of the bed on the pet steps and meowing in Andra's face
* Loudly clawing on the carpet
* (Her favorite) Paging through a magazine or stack of papers until she finds one of the subscription reply cards and takes it under the bed and starts batting it around and wrestling with it LOUDLY.


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## Andra (Nov 19, 2008)

NogDog said:


> Heh...there was a period of about a year in my twenties when I lived with my parents while between jobs and then building up some savings when I got a new one. I got to sleep in the basement where Isabella the calico cat slept, too. I'm a snooze alarm sort of person, but Isabella was not. It did not take long before Isabella became my snooze alarm. First the alarm would go off. Next I'd hit the snooze button. Then I'd drift off to sleep again. Finally I'd wake up to the pressure of a cat standing on my chest and the feel/smell of warm feline breath in my face, with a look in her eyes saying, "I heard the alarm go off, so get up now and put some fresh food in my dish, you lazy bum!"


Figaro was much more insistent when he was younger. He would just loom on my chest and reach out to pat my check if I wasn't getting up quickly enough. Now he's rather patient, but it's easier if I get up and feed the cats and then go back to sleep.
Duane has to put Jasmine out and then put up the kitty gate to keep her away from the bedroom door.
It's funny how they each have their own quirks.


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## Cyndi (Aug 2, 2010)

Dear Hobbes,
  I will give you a taste of whatever I'm eating so there's no need to slap it out of my mouth.  Also, please stop initiating the tug of war with the fork (note to self, must work out more...he's winning).  Please stop flipping the cocker spaniel, you're scaring her.  Remember, 20 pounds of cat hurts when landing on someone.
Dear Sacha,
  Please stop terrorizing Hobbes.  So he's twice your size and weight.  Apparently, you're a scary little devil because you make him squeek and collapse sideways.
Dear Sophie,
  Please live.  You're only 12 days old and we're all trying as hard as we can with the bottle feeding, so please be a good girl and grow.


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## Debra L Martin (Apr 8, 2010)

Dear Crystal,

I know you love Mommy - you are my little shadow no matter where I go even yes, to the bathroom.  But, really I don't need you on my lap while I'm trying to type.  It's been an ordeal the past 3 months with a back injury so the only way I can type is while in bed.  Believe me, 12 pounds of cat sitting directly in front of the keyboard is not my idea of fun....even if you are cute!

And tell that monster baby, Isabelle, that her Norweigan Forest Cat paws weigh a ton as well!  I just lost 16 year old Katie last week - she was the other bookend!


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## DLs Niece (Apr 12, 2010)

Dear Tokie, (Token)

Although I do love you completely and unconditionally, as much as I would like, I simply cannot stay home with you every waking minute. I must go to work to earn money to buy all the wonderful things that you seem to think magically appear... like your dinner, the roof over your head and your many kitty toys.  Please try to understand that I would most certainly stay home if at all possible. Running beside me swatting my feet as I leave will not change things.


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## kadac00 (Jan 30, 2010)

Dear Figaro,

That is Sheba's bed and no matter how you try it is NOT a recliner.


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## Victorine (Apr 23, 2010)

kadac00 said:


> Dear Figaro,
> 
> That is Sheba's bed and no matter how you try it is NOT a recliner.


Ha ha ha ha ha! That's great!

Vicki


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## Madeline (Jun 5, 2010)

Dear Sterling,

The laser eyes of death and destruction are STILL not going to earn you another treat. You've already had four.


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## Luke King (Nov 4, 2010)

An open door is for walking through. You have asked me to open it for you. Pausing on the threshold is simply nonsensical.


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## Shayne Parkinson (Mar 19, 2010)

Luke King said:


> An open door is for walking through. You have asked me to open it for you. Pausing on the threshold is simply nonsensical.


No, no, pausing on the threshold is _essential_! Your cat is obviously familiar with the advice in Paul Gallico's lovely book _Jennie_:

"Pause on the threshold, linger on the sill"
"When in doubt, wash"


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## Tip10 (Apr 16, 2009)

Dear Human,

The sooner you understand this the better.  
YOU did not adopt ME!
I adopted YOU!
Now you may think that opposable thumb thingy gives you some sort of advantage but lest you get too cocky there remember that, unlike them despicable creatures called dogs I CAN feed myself.  If you don't believe that I can certainly leave you a few choice morsels on the front step (or on your pillow if you insist). I just choose to allow you to have the pleasure of feeding me.  Just don't be late with it!
Scritches are required in this relationship -- but they are required on MY terms -- remember who adopted who dear Human.  
I tolerate you hanging around here to serve my needs but you better not push it dear human -- I can defend myself -- don't make me have to.
Once you get that through that allegedly superior brain of yours exactly how this relationship is supposed to work the better off we'll be. 
Now, get me a snacky and I'll be off to nap in a nice warm place. You just be there when I awake -- I might have an itch or something.

The CAT


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## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

Dear Zorro,
You were a long haired kitten I found at a shelter. You were born feral and brought to the shelter at four months old by someone who caught you in a trap. Your black mask and cape gave me your name. At first I called you the Wild Thing, but you have become very domesticated.
Now, maybe you can tell me what is up with your obsession with brushing? I thought I should brush you because your long hair gets clumps. But after I did it once you became an addict. Every time I sit on or stand near the bed you appear and start demanding to be brushed. When I do it, you really seem to love it. Maybe that's good, but this kind of addiction seems weird to me.
Plus, when I actually try to get the clumps out and it hurts, you bite at me. So the brushing doesn't really accomplish much.


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## daringnovelist (Apr 3, 2010)

Dear Max....

I have gotten used to the fact that you have been getting me up at exactly 6:23am every morning for a year, even though I work nights and never have to get up before 9am, and you do this even when I don't have to get up at all.  I understand that cat clocks cannot be reset.  

What I don't appreciate is that the one time I had to get up at 6:30 am was the only morning you decided to get me up at 4:23 am instead.  Just that one day.  What's up with that?

Camille


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## Steph H (Oct 28, 2008)

daringnovelist said:


> Dear Max....
> 
> I have gotten used to the fact that you have been getting me up at exactly 6:23am every morning for a year, even though I work nights and never have to get up before 9am, and you do this even when I don't have to get up at all. I understand that cat clocks cannot be reset.
> 
> ...


LOL Camille -- here I was expecting you to say that Max let you oversleep....hey, he just wanted to make sure you didn't miss your appointment (or whatever the reason for needing to be up at 6:30)!


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

Dear Nuisance, Chaos, and Disorder, we miss you all. 
-mummy & daddy.


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## daringnovelist (Apr 3, 2010)

Steph H said:


> LOL Camille -- here I was expecting you to say that Max let you oversleep....hey, he just wanted to make sure you didn't miss your appointment (or whatever the reason for needing to be up at 6:30)!


I don't know that Max has the ability to comprehend "oversleep." (He's still young. Sleep is something you do to pass the time while you wait for other cats and people to get up and DO SOMETHING.)

I do remember once, though, when I had a wonderfully good-natured siamese named Bubba, who loved to play with ribbons. One day when I sick, he and the other cats let me sleep in, and when I awoke, I found my entire bed festooned with every ribbon or ribbon-like object that could be found in the entire house. Dozens and dozens of them.

It did make me feel better.

Camille


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## Madeline (Jun 5, 2010)

daringnovelist said:


> I don't know that Max has the ability to comprehend "oversleep." (He's still young. Sleep is something you do to pass the time while you wait for other cats and people to get up and DO SOMETHING.)
> 
> I do remember once, though, when I had a wonderfully good-natured siamese named Bubba, who loved to play with ribbons. One day when I sick, he and the other cats let me sleep in, and when I awoke, I found my entire bed festooned with every ribbon or ribbon-like object that could be found in the entire house. Dozens and dozens of them.
> 
> ...


At least yours didn't leave something ALIVE in your bed. I woke up when I felt something slimy on my leg. I looked down and it was a grass snake!!! A GRASS SNAKE IN MY BED!! TOUCHING MY SKIN!

The only thing I can figure, because my cats are indoor cats, is that the thing got in under the door or something along those lines. Sterling, in his infinite wisdome, thought it would be a wonderful gift for his momma. It just so happened she wasn't awake yet.

He's quite lucky I didn't drop dead of a heart attack.


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## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

T.L. Haddix said:


> R. Reed, can you post a picture?


I thought someone might ask. Here's Zorro:










and the older cat, Goblin:


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## Victorine (Apr 23, 2010)

Madeline said:


> At least yours didn't leave something ALIVE in your bed. I woke up when I felt something slimy on my leg. I looked down and it was a grass snake!!! A GRASS SNAKE IN MY BED!! TOUCHING MY SKIN!
> 
> The only thing I can figure, because my cats are indoor cats, is that the thing got in under the door or something along those lines. Sterling, in his infinite wisdome, thought it would be a wonderful gift for his momma. It just so happened she wasn't awake yet.
> 
> He's quite lucky I didn't drop dead of a heart attack.


I think I would have died of a heart attack!!  Wow, I'm glad we've got storm doors that are pretty tight. I don't think a snake could sneak in under those. Now the kids might bring one in.... 

Vicki


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## patrisha w. (Oct 28, 2008)

kadac00 said:


> Dear Figaro,
> 
> That is Sheba's bed and no matter how you try it is NOT a recliner.


Oh, dear! I laughed until I literally cried!


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