# My 23 year old daughter committed suicide 4-11-13



## RhondaRN (Dec 27, 2009)

My youngest daughter, the light of my life, who was a medical student just going into her 3rd year, making very good grades, avid runner and health conscience that never, ever, EVER displayed any signs whatsoever of depression killed herself. She had just come home for Easter vacation. We had a mother daughter day of shopping, eating, and going to the movies and she was so excited about her upcoming clinical rotations in medical school.

A few days after she went back to her apartment, I got a call from the police while I was at work and he told me that she was deceased and had taken her own life at her apartment. After the 3 and a half hour drive to her apartment, she had left many notes to her friends, instructions on caring for her cat (now mine)including a note to me and her dad in which she said she had been depressed all her life and she tried very hard to hide it from us all these years and from herself. She did a very good job at hiding it, just like she did a good job at anything she ever did. She was the joy of my life and my heart and soul were buried in that grave with her yesterday.

I'm writing this to let anyone know that no matter what you have going for you, if you feel that emptiness in your soul, dosen't matter what you have, it doesn't matter. Watch your children, ask ever so often how they feel. Perhaps they will tell you, but mine did not. We were very close and I still had no clue and I know depression and it's signs.

My life feels like it is over.


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## Jeff (Oct 28, 2008)

Oh no. I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling. Please accept my deepest condolences.


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## loonlover (Jul 4, 2009)

I, too, can't imagine the pain you are feeling.  Please know that I am thinking of you and sending virtual hugs your way.


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## tessa (Nov 1, 2008)

I'm so sorry 

tessa


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## jabeard (Apr 22, 2011)

My deepest condolences.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Rhonda, I am sending all my heart thoughts and healing energy to you. This is so very, very difficult. Having a daughter who struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts I know how difficult this is. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

L


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## _Sheila_ (Jan 4, 2011)

You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Sheila


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

I'm speechless.

For what little bit it might be worth at this time for you, my deepest sympathies.


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## Not Here (May 23, 2011)

Oh I'm just so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you and your family.


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## crebel (Jan 15, 2009)

My heart aches for you.  My thoughts are prayers are with you and your family.


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## The Hooded Claw (Oct 12, 2009)

I'm flabbergasted. My mother sometimes speaks to me of her fear of how crushing it would be to bury her only child (me), and I am sure suicide makes it worse. Sympathies to you.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Rhonda,

My deepest sympathy and hugs to you.  Prayers to you and her dad.

Betsy


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## JETaylor (Jan 25, 2011)

Rhonda, 

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I can't begin to imagine your heartbreak and I hope that in time you will find some level of peace. 

God bless.
JET


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## KBoards Admin (Nov 27, 2007)

How heartbreaking. I am so sorry to hear this, Rhonda.


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## 31842 (Jan 11, 2011)

I cannot even imagine what you are going through right now... I am so so sorry. A very dear friend of mine's son died in a freak accident and it tore her world apart. One of the greatest sources of healing was a group called Compassionate Friends - http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx. Please don't go through this alone. Know there are other parents out there to hold you and support you, parents who have been through the same thing. The world will never be better again, but some day it will be different. Live from one breath to the next and know there are people out there who will walk beside you for as long as you need them.


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

There are no words, Rhonda. I'm sorry for your loss, and the pain your family is enduring. My thoughts are with you.


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## Jaasy (Feb 28, 2009)

I am so sorry to hear this.  You and your family are in my prayers


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## Annalog (Dec 28, 2008)

Rhonda, you and your family have my most sincere condolences. My thoughts are with you and I take what you wrote to heart.


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## 25803 (Oct 24, 2010)

Oh, Rhonda. I'm so very very deeply sorry for your loss.

I've heard that those who are serious about taking their own lives often don't let anyone know about it beforehand. This certainly sounds like what happened with your daughter. Without there being signs, there was absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent this. Nothing. I know that's not a comfort now, but maybe one day it will lighten your heart a little.

((gentle hugs))


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## Tripp (May 28, 2009)

Rhonda, I remember when you posted about your accomplished daughter in the past and my heart and prayers go out to you and your family.


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## D/W (Dec 29, 2010)

Please accept my sincere condolences, Rhonda. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved daughter.


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## sebat (Nov 16, 2008)

Oh Rhonda, I am so so sorry for your loss.


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## Amyshojai (May 3, 2010)

Oh dear heavens...my deepest condolences on your terrible loss.


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Rhonda, I am so sorry. As a parent, I can't imagine the depth of your grief. There are no words, but my thoughts go out to you and your family.  Jane


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## mom2karen (Aug 15, 2009)

I'm so sorry.  Our thoughts are with you and your family.


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## mlewis78 (Apr 19, 2009)

My condolences to you.  I am so sorry.


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## HappyGuy (Nov 3, 2008)

You're in my prayers. May our compassionate and loving God touch you and ease the pain you feel now.


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## Andra (Nov 19, 2008)

Thoughts and prayers going out to you and your family.


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## gajitldy (Apr 25, 2009)

I am soooo sorry for your loss.  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

HUGS,
Diane


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## KindleGirl (Nov 11, 2008)

So sorry to hear this. Can't even imagine the pain you are feeling right now, but know that you are in our hearts and prayers. Take care of yourself.


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## 908tracy (Dec 15, 2009)

(((Rhonda)))  There are no words. I'm so very sorry for your loss.


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## Mark Philipson (Mar 9, 2013)

Deeply sorry for your loss.


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## Atunah (Nov 20, 2008)

My condolences. You and your family are in my thoughts.


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## geoffthomas (Feb 27, 2009)

Rhonda,
Our baby girl is 27 (we had her when we were 40).
And we love her very much (probably more than her older brothers).
It is good that you know that you provided all the love and companionship that you could have.
God loves you and your family and your daughter very much.
And I pray for you to be strong for those around you who are also hurting from this loss.
I also cannot imagine the loss and want you to know that the good people here at KB will always be available for you.  We are a virtual family and try our best to care for one another.


just sayin......


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## prairiesky (Aug 11, 2009)

Rhonda, I am so sorry.  My heart aches for you and your family.


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## *DrDLN* (dr.s.dhillon) (Jan 19, 2011)

My heart sinks when I read a chilling news like this. I feel more than sorry. I question why it is happening. More so to such driven, intelligent and loving people. Answer lies somewhere!!! It's some where between genetics and environment...??


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## JumpingShip (Jun 3, 2010)

My deepest condolences.   I can't imagine the pain you are going through.


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## R.A. Hobbs (Jun 6, 2011)

This is absolutely heartbreaking.  Praying for you and your family.


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

My deepest condolences to you and your family.


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## Shayne Parkinson (Mar 19, 2010)

I'm so very sorry, Rhonda.


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## TRGoodman (Jul 9, 2012)

I'm so sorry, Rhonda. You have my deepest condolences.


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Rhonda, I am just so sorry to hear of this.. cannot even imagine.


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## readingril (Oct 29, 2010)

I'm an very sorry to hear of your loss. Hugs and prayers with your family.


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## Lee44 (Sep 9, 2012)

Rhonda,

So sorry.  My deepest condolences.  Simply heartbreaking.  My prayers to you and your family.


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## balaspa (Dec 27, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss.  All of my best to you and your family.


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## Lisa Scott (Apr 4, 2011)

What a beautiful, lovely girl.  I am so very sorry for your loss.  I hope you are surrounded by the support of friends and loved ones.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Rhonda, 

thank you for sharing the picture of your daughter.  Again, prayers for you and your family.

Betsy


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

My deepest sympathies.  As a mother, I cannot begin to imagine the level of grief you must feel.


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## msdanielle28 (Jun 12, 2011)

My heart breaks hearing this, my condolences are with you and your family. My prayers will be with you.


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## theaatkinson (Sep 22, 2010)

I wish words could be enough for you, but I do pray that your memories of her will sustain you through the hardest parts. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling. Deepest most heartfelt sympathies


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## Tony Richards (Jul 6, 2011)

This happened to a friend of mine -- his son -- a couple of years back. There are no proper words except, heartfelt condolences.


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## kindleworm (Aug 24, 2010)

There are no words.....just shared tears and heartfelt prayers.


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## gajitldy (Apr 25, 2009)

Rhonda I am so so sorry for your devastating loss.  Your family is in my prayers.

I am in North Carolina also.  If there is anything I can do, please let me know.  I am about a 1/2 hour north of Greensboro.

Diane


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## StephanieJ (Nov 11, 2010)

What a lovely young woman, I'm so so very sorry for your loss.  Please know you are in so many people's thoughts.


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## Amy Corwin (Jan 3, 2011)

Rhonda:
You know our thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so sorry. I am still in shock about it and find it hard to believe she is gone. I still think of her as that six year old we first met when we moved to Clarkton.

If you need anything, anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask,
Amy


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## Carrien (Jan 30, 2011)

Rhoda 
My deepest sympathy to you and your family. So sorry to hear this and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Carrie


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## metal134 (Sep 2, 2010)

I've had 2 cousins who have committed suicide.  The second killed himself because he never got over his sister's suicide.  Much like in your daughter's case, no one even suspected.  But I bring this up for a reason.  Don't make the same mistake.  There are other ways.


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## Carol (was Dara) (Feb 19, 2011)

I'm so sorry for your loss, Rhonda. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.


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## bordercollielady (Nov 21, 2008)

Rhonda - I  am  so  sorry for your loss.  I  cannot imagine  what you are going thru - but I pray that these words of  sympathy provide some consolation.


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## N. Gemini Sasson (Jul 5, 2010)

I am deeply sorry, Rhonda. My heart hurts for you. Because of what you shared, I'm going to make an extra effort to reach out to my kids and really, _really_ talk to them every chance I get.


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

I am so very sorry.  Prayers to you and your family.  
deb


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## Tatiana (Aug 20, 2010)

Rhonda,

I am so sorry, you have my deepest sympathy.  I am praying for you and your family.


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## Harley Christensen (Nov 26, 2012)

Rhonda - It took great courage and even greater love to share this tragedy...and though there are not enough words in this world to express how truly sorry I am, please know that my heart and thoughts are with you and your family...

Please take care all...Harley


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## Lyndl (Apr 2, 2010)

It is unimaginable, and I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Sueracs (Apr 19, 2013)

Please have patient. I don't have any word to console you.


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## Raffeer (Nov 19, 2008)

My sympathies on the loss of your daughter. You have so many wonderful memories of her. This is the gift she left you.


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## DYB (Aug 8, 2009)

There really are no words that are not trivial.  Please take care of yourself.  We are all sending you our thoughts.


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## Sueracs (Apr 19, 2013)

Raffeer said:


> My sympathies on the loss of your daughter. You have so many wonderful memories of her. This is the gift she left you.


I do agree with you.
Try to control yourself by the wonderful memories of your beautiful daughter.
Would you please share some picture of your daughter with us?


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## Sandpiper (Oct 28, 2008)

Sueracs said:


> Would you please share some picture of your daughter with us?


Rhonda put a photo of her daughter in her first post.


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## Not Here Anymore (May 16, 2012)

So very sorry, Rhonda. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Maryann Christine (May 18, 2011)

Rhonda, I am so sorry. I am praying for you.

Your daughter was obviously smart, beautiful and wanted to make a career out of healing others. She loved you and her kitty. That was who she was. Her final act was a symptom of the depression, not her. I'm sure you know that, but I am reiterating that from the perspective of someone who once suffered from severe depression.

I pray you have a group of friends or family, or a suicide survivor group, where you can cry, scream and express all the different emotions. They have some survivor links on suicide.org. It may be too early to think about a support group, but something to bookmark if you think it could help later, when you are ready. http://www.suicide.org/suicide-support-groups.html

I am so sorry.


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## SunHi Mistwalker (Feb 28, 2012)

Oh God, I'm so sad to hear this. I'm sending all of my love and condolences to you. I'm so sorry.


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## Ruby296 (Nov 1, 2008)

Rhonda, my heart is breaking for you & your family. I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. Please know you will all be in my thoughts & prayers.


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## KristenDaRay (Aug 4, 2012)

Rhonda, 

I'm sending prayers your way. I have no idea what you are going through right now, and I can't even imagine it.


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## Thumper (Feb 26, 2009)

I am so, so sorry...


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## Liz Davis (Dec 10, 2011)

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. I'll send up a prayer for you and your family.


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## raptor760 (May 1, 2013)

Rhonda, very sorry for your lose. I knew a guy who killed himself last year and I didn't see it coming. My daughter was upset today because she had a fight with someone close to her. Your story is going to make me keep a close eye on her and hopefully prevent something like that. It seems there were no signs for you.


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