# Successful Indies Only, Please (note, tongue-in-cheek...) (merged)



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

I'm sick of all these stories from people who sell a few tens (or maybe hundreds) of thousands of copies every year (or day, or minute, or something).

Let's celebrate some _real_ success. I fear that my one conventionally-published book may buck the trend a little, but in seven months, my three self-published titles have sold . . . [roll of drums] . . . _*54 copies*_!

This is the kind of thing we all want to hear, and there's not nearly enough of it. So let's hear it now, from the _real_ writers, the ones who sell tens or even dozens of copies. (The rest of you, go away. You've got enough threads for a new Bayeux Tapestry already.)

I repeat: seven months, three books, 54 sales. Beat that, anybody? Can't, can you?


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## DelilahFawkes (May 11, 2011)

I like this thread.    Also, congrats!


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## Sam Rivers (May 22, 2011)

I have 28 books and have had 164 sales in three months.  However, some of my books have sold many more than others, and some have only sold a few.  I am on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.


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## BRONZEAGE (Jun 25, 2011)

Not sure whether to laugh with you or cry, Iain!

But my one lone title through a fledgling new imprint has sold 100s of print and Kindle copies already.

Now if the rest of those 40million Irishamericans will step up to buy it!


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## arodera (Aug 4, 2011)

It seems a great thread, congratulations!

I just landed on Amazon and not sell thousands of books, most like me. Also, my novel is written in Spanish, so that the difficulties are greater. But I'm proud of my sales do not come away a hundred copies. Yes, with one book in two months of publication.

Sure you climb in the rankings soon, heh, heh, our time will come.

Greetings.


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*Delilah*: Thank you for your comment. I know that with covers like yours you can't compete, but thanks anyway.

*J.S. Dunn*: By the rules of this thread, JS, you are a miserable failure. And you'll find it impossible to compete now without cheating by, for example, taking your book off the market for a century or two. Don't even think about it.



Franklin Eddy said:


> I have 28 books and have had 164 sales in three months. However, some of my books have sold many more than others, and some have only sold a few. I am on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.


Nice work, Franklin. According to my arithmetic, you are selling 1.95 copies per book per month to my 2.57, so you're in the lead. (Rules of golf apply.)

But there have to be more success stories out there. I know that Franklin and I have set the bar high, but even so . . .


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## vivinthevalley (Aug 18, 2011)

So, in my debut first six weeks, I have sold a whopping 20 copies of my book, a whole 6 of those were sold in August.  Woot, woot!


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## MGalloway (Jun 21, 2011)

Top this:

May - 0 
June - 0
July - 2 paperbacks, 0 ebooks
August - 1 ebook


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## WilliamEsmont (May 3, 2010)

Starting out sucks. Sometimes you get lucky and hit a home run, but more often than not it's an uphill slog (often with setbacks). Here are my #s going back to the beginning for a little perspective...


*Month**# Copies Sold**Notes*Dec 20091​Released my first book. Sold a copy to my mom.Jan 20101​Feb 20100​Mar 20100​Apr 20100​May 20101​Jun 201011​Jul 20106​Aug 201011​Sep 201010​Oct 201029​Released The Patriot ParadoxNov 201040​Dec 201099​Jan 2011538​Feb 2011786​Mar 20113250​Apr 20116434​May 20114787​Released Fire: Elements of The UndeadJun 20111891​Summer slumpJul 2011733​The summer slump gets worse...Aug 2011512​August REALLY sucks, by hey, at least I sold a power of 2 (2^9)


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## Connor Nicolas (Aug 24, 2011)

Since my stories have been up...August 20th....big fat donuts holes all around.  However, I thank you Iain for validating my success


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## dalya (Jul 26, 2011)

I love this thread!  It's enlightening and encouraging.

My sales are "consistent" which is a cute euphemism.  But, response from book bloggers has been pretty good!  The next book in my series is being revised now, and I hope when I add to my line, I'll experience the same bump some of you did.  Also, I just love writing the books.  I confess, even if I continue to sell nearly none, I'm going to keep at it.


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## BRONZEAGE (Jun 25, 2011)

Wm Esmont, Any idea why sales suddenly took off for you in March 2011?  Did you change anything you were doing?


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## WilliamEsmont (May 3, 2010)

BRONZEAGE said:


> Wm Esmont, Any idea why sales suddenly took off for you in March 2011? Did you change anything you were doing?


I had submitted to a bunch of influential book bloggers in late January and it took about 2-3 months for Patriot to bubble to the top of their review queues and make it out onto the internet. I also did a KND sponsorship in late January. Mostly though, I think it was a combination of dumb luck and a decent story. The sequel is coming out this fall. Fingers are crossed. So are the toes.


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

*There was time when I sold a few, 
But then I had a smaller queue,
A trickle, not a tidal wave,
A hermit writing in his cave.

But now I'm sorry to reveal
That four years going, and appeal,
Has broken the bank with nothing less
Than 13,000 and success.

So listen to this pioneer.
Stick to your last and your butterbeer,
And you too can sell like higglety pig,
And dance to the moon, the author's jig.

 

Edward C. Patterson
The Old man of the Kindle Revolution*​


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## cecilia_writer (Dec 28, 2010)

Great thread, thanks!
If it hadn't been for August, oddly, I would have been in the running here but as I unexpectedly sold 24 books last month my average has gone right up.


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## J.M Pierce (May 13, 2010)

Edward C. Patterson said:


> *There was time when I sold a few,
> But then I had a smaller queue,
> A trickle, not a tidal wave,
> A hermit writing in his cave.
> ...


Ed = AWESOME


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## MeiLinMiranda (Feb 17, 2011)

I consistently sell about $200 worth of books a month. It's been almost exactly a year since the first book in my series came out--gosh, in fact almost to the day now that I think on it...


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Iain Manson said:


> enough threads for a new Bayeux Tapestry


I LOVE This! 

(I ain't sold nuthin'  but I haven't written anything either so that probably explains it.  )


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## Rex Jameson (Mar 8, 2011)

WilliamEsmont said:


> August REALLY sucks, by hey, at least I sold a power of 2 (2^9)


You know how I know you're a programmer? Lol.


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## Carol (was Dara) (Feb 19, 2011)

Great numbers guys.   My first title and first sales month (put it up halfway into March) I sold 34 copies. I was pleasantly surprised, because I hadn't expected that many, and I've been happy with sales every month since. They just continue to grow over time.


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

Headmaster speaking.

All right, boys and girls, things are getting a little better, but still not good enough.

*Armando*: My research suggests that you're rather more successful than you're prepared to admit. And you've got good reviews. Numbers, Armando, I need numbers. Being Spanish is no excuse.

*Genevieve*: You're already selling 13 copies a month, and you've got four reviews. This is not promising. I don't say there's no hope, but you're going to have to work awfully hard to keep those figures down.

*Michael*: The reviews are a cause for concern. It means people have noticed. That said, you have had four good months (though hard-copy sales count double). You're one to watch.

*William*: What can I say? You must be so disappointed. Six terrific months, but then things began to go wrong, and the last eight have been nothing less than catastrophic. I don't want to discourage you, but I wouldn't build any great hopes on the August decline. I'm sorry, I really am. But you do take great credit for those first six months. You won't be forgotten.

*Connor*: Nice work so far. It's very early days, but you show promise. Keep a low profile, and you'll be surprised what can be achieved.

*Dalya*: Oh, Dalya. Five good reviews and a positive response from book bloggers is worrying. I don't want to upset you, but this will not end well.

*Edward*: I like the poem, and can only commiserate on the big sales. Never mind, you did your best, and had some good years.

*Cecilia*: You're doing well, but the August figures give cause for concern, as does the good review. And you have to decide whether you're Cecilia or Sheila. No cheating now. You can't pick and choose between identities just to keep your figures down.

*MeiLin* . . . Go away.

*Ann*: Just to confirm, even zero sales don't count until you have something to sell. We could all sell no copies of nothing.

*Dara* . . . See MeiLin (above).

A word of warning for anyone who thinks they might be in with a chance here. Reviews are always worrying. Once people know you're there, anything can happen. I've only ever had one, and that's for my one conventionally-published book. It consists of twenty words, concluding with "you want [sic] put it down." Such a review can be considered harmless; anything more substantial is dangerous.


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## ndrake (Apr 20, 2011)

OK I am still thrilled to sell ONE book a day, although sales have gone up a bit for that on the odd month.  I think the key to it is to be happy with what you have and keep at it.  Of course there is always the support of the wonderful people on here...

N


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## HAGrant (Jul 17, 2011)

Edward C. Patterson said:


> *There was time when I sold a few,
> But then I had a smaller queue,
> A trickle, not a tidal wave,
> A hermit writing in his cave.
> ...


Edward P., I love it!


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## Gregory Lynn (Aug 9, 2011)

Y'all are making me positively giddy that I haven't even finished _writing_ anything yet.


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## Kimberly Van Meter (Apr 22, 2011)

Ohhh, this is a hilarious thread and I love it. I've sold a whopping three copies today. And you know what? I was relieved to lose that awful BBos in the US. I've never broken free from the BBoS in Germany and barely in the UK. I'm hoping to have something new up by winter. But until then...here I sit...mostly forgotten and definitely sitting in the corner waiting for someone to invite me to the party.

Kimberly V.


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

So far my sales look like the first few months of William Esmont's list. So I think I win the thread!


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## John Y. Jones (Feb 19, 2011)

My first book has been available for about two and a half months. Total copies sold to date: 30. So, naturally, I did the only thing I could think of to boost sales: I more than doubled the price of the book.


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## Lever1 (Aug 8, 2010)

Iain, I'm tempted to buy a copy of RANDY BASTARD just to thank you for this thread, but I'm half afraid you'd hunt me down and take revenge for ruining your outstanding numbers...


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## EC Sheedy (Feb 24, 2011)

WilliamEsmont said:


> Starting out sucks. Sometimes you get lucky and hit a home run, but more often than not it's an uphill slog (often with setbacks). Here are my #s going back to the beginning for a little perspective...
> 
> 
> *Month**# Copies Sold**Notes*Dec 20091​Released my first book. Sold a copy to my mom.Jan 20101​Feb 20100​Mar 20100​Apr 20100​May 20101​Jun 201011​Jul 20106​Aug 201011​Sep 201010​Oct 201029​Released The Patriot ParadoxNov 201040​Dec 201099​Jan 2011538​Feb 2011786​Mar 20113250​Apr 20116434​May 20114787​Released Fire: Elements of The UndeadJun 20111891​Summer slumpJul 2011733​The summer slump gets worse...Aug 2011512​August REALLY sucks, by hey, at least I sold a power of 2 (2^9)


Love it, William! You've been doing great and those numbers of yours spread a little hope.


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## Decon (Feb 16, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> I'm sick of all these stories from people who sell a few tens (or maybe hundreds) of thousands of copies every year (or day, or minute, or something).
> 
> Let's celebrate some _real_ success. I fear that my one conventionally-published book may buck the trend a little, but in seven months, my three self-published titles have sold . . . [roll of drums] . . . _*54 copies*_!
> 
> ...


I know it's your thread and your set the rules, but it is a little unfair when I check your signature to determine a level playing field.

The first in your line up is $10.48 and the other three in your signature say they are only available to UK customers and show no price. I could probably get down to your figures if I only tagged the rights for 0uter Mongolia. (Joke)

Great thread, time the majority were heard.


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## JFHilborne (Jan 22, 2011)

Two books with a combined total of about 700 sales since June 2010.


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

All right, let's see what we've got. Pay attention, please.

*Nicholas*: By my calculations, you are averaging five sales per book per month, which is creditable, but nowhere near top of the list. And it's not good news that your sales increase from time to time. To make things worse, you've got reviews. You're going to have to work hard to keep those numbers down.

*Gregory*: Don't be put off by the achievements you read about here. You won't know how good you are till you try.

*Kimberly*: The sale of three copies of four books in one day may be just a blip. If not, you'll soon be averaging nearly eight sales per book per month, which is not bad, but a bit off the pace. And, despite the uneven spread across books, I'd be concerned about the number of reviews you've had. (For the uninitiated, Kimberly's BBoS is the Beige Bar of Shame, which is what you see when you check your sales figures for the month, and there aren't any. I think of it as an old friend.)

*Jennifer*: You don't give precise figures, but I trust you. And no reviews! You are an inspiration to us all.

*John*: There's always one, isn't there? Your sales figures begin to worry you, so what do you do? _You more than double the price_! This is cheating. You're banned.

*Allan*: Don't even think about it. Buying books by serious competitors in this thread is a mean trick. If you try it, you'll go the way of John (above). Let me make this clear: any spike in sales achieved by the likes of Jennifer, Franklin and me will be treated as suspicious. I call on moderators Ann and Betsy to back me.

*Decon*: The first book in my sig line is conventionally published: my publisher sets the price, and sales don't count for this thread anyway. And my books _are_ available in the US; it's just that on one seems to have noticed. But I'm pleased that you're taking an intelligent interest. Please let me know if you spot anything else that you think suspicious. There are people on this thread that I don't trust.

*Jenny*: You're selling 25 copies per book per month, and you've got tons of reviews. I'm not impressed. Must try harder.

To sum up, it's all a little disappointing so far. Still, there are some decent performances here, and Jennifer gets a gold star. I didn't enjoy banning John, but it had to be done. And Allan's on his last warning. I await developments with interest.


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

WilliamEsmont said:


> Starting out sucks. Sometimes you get lucky and hit a home run, but more often than not it's an uphill slog (often with setbacks). Here are my #s going back to the beginning for a little perspective...
> 
> 
> *Month**# Copies Sold**Notes*Dec 20091​Released my first book. Sold a copy to my mom.Jan 20101​Feb 20100​Mar 20100​Apr 20100​May 20101​Jun 201011​Jul 20106​Aug 201011​Sep 201010​Oct 201029​Released The Patriot ParadoxNov 201040​Dec 201099​Jan 2011538​Feb 2011786​Mar 20113250​Apr 20116434​May 20114787​Released Fire: Elements of The UndeadJun 20111891​Summer slumpJul 2011733​The summer slump gets worse...Aug 2011512​August REALLY sucks, by hey, at least I sold a power of 2 (2^9)


Looks similar to mine, except that mine peaked in February


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## Nomadwoman (Aug 25, 2011)

John Y. Jones said:


> My first book has been available for about two and a half months. Total copies sold to date: 30. So, naturally, I did the only thing I could think of to boost sales: I more than doubled the price of the book.


How's that working out for you John?


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## Guest (Sep 3, 2011)

My sales have totally died this summer.  Right around the time I started using twitter and trying to get more active about marketing again. Very frustrating.


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## Guest (Sep 3, 2011)

I have a theory that Germans don't read much. And English read but only cozy tea & crumpet Miss Marple type mysteries. I think both countries suffer sadly from inferiority complexes--the Germans from losing two grand wars and being responsible for the death of millions, and the English are still sucking their thumbs for losing their empire. 

Of course it's just a theory, but I won't hold my breath for many sales from those countries outside the bell curve.


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## mesmered (Feb 2, 2011)

Laughing!  Enjoyable reading! The phrase reverse psychology comes to mind. Released new book on 1st September. Waiting for the tsunami, especially as this one retails for $2.99... a rise of $2 on the others. 

Still have a total dislike of talking figures. Is it because one doesn't want to admit to being less than almost everyone else on the Kindleboards. So keep making me laugh.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

I cannot publically announce the millions I have sold. The Man will start coming after me for taxes. Then I will have to leave the country and that means packing...


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

MikeAngel said:


> I have a theory that Germans don't read much. And English read but only cozy tea & crumpet Miss Marple type mysteries. I think both countries suffer sadly from inferiority complexes--the Germans from losing two grand wars and being responsible for the death of millions, and the English are still sucking their thumbs for losing their empire.
> 
> Of course it's just a theory, but I won't hold my breath for many sales from those countries outside the bell curve.


Except, Amazon DE the English Sections are mainly for the thousands of Americans (read Troops) stationed in Europe.  The Kindle has just been made available through the PX system. And being the founder of Operation eBook Drop, I'll tell ya' our troops read. Germany, however, is not now considered a deployment. (It was when I served in the 60's).

Edward C. Patterson


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## Maria Romana (Jun 7, 2010)

MikeAngel said:


> I have a theory that Germans don't read much.


Well, it could be that Germans don't read much...that's written in English, as most of our books are.

--Maria


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## Dee Ernst (Jan 10, 2011)

In March, I changed my cover and lowered my price to 2.99 and I sold 6 on Amazon and 1 on B&N.  In Aug. I sold 178 on Amazon US, 9 on Amazon UK and 42 on B&N.  If sales keep increasing at this rate, I might be able to quit my day job sometime in 2013!


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## Archer (Apr 25, 2009)

MikeAngel said:


> I have a theory that Germans don't read much.
> Of course it's just a theory, but I won't hold my breath for many sales from those countries outside the bell curve.


That's why the Frankfurt Book Expo is the largest in the world, right?

Germans read a lot. They just haven't discovered my wonderful work yet. (Well, not MANY of them, anyway.)


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## Steve Silkin (Sep 15, 2010)

"There's no success like failure
And failure's no success at all."

- B. Dylan


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## Sharlow (Dec 20, 2009)

WilliamEsmont said:


> Starting out sucks. Sometimes you get lucky and hit a home run, but more often than not it's an uphill slog (often with setbacks). Here are my #s going back to the beginning for a little perspective...
> 
> 
> *Month**# Copies Sold**Notes*Dec 20091​Released my first book. Sold a copy to my mom.Jan 20101​Feb 20100​Mar 20100​Apr 20100​May 20101​Jun 201011​Jul 20106​Aug 201011​Sep 201010​Oct 201029​Released The Patriot ParadoxNov 201040​Dec 201099​Jan 2011538​Feb 2011786​Mar 20113250​Apr 20116434​May 20114787​Released Fire: Elements of The UndeadJun 20111891​Summer slumpJul 2011733​The summer slump gets worse...Aug 2011512​August REALLY sucks, by hey, at least I sold a power of 2 (2^9)


Lol... That looks just like my sales chart. The summer has been a beast on my sales as well.


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## Gregory Lynn (Aug 9, 2011)

Archer said:


> That's why the Frankfurt Book Expo is the largest in the world, right?
> 
> Germans read a lot. They just haven't discovered my wonderful work yet. (Well, not MANY of them, anyway.)


That suggests to me a question...have any of y'all looked into getting your stuff translated into other languages? In particular, I think getting something into a Spanish market would have enormous potential for single digit sales.

I mean, a guy can hope, right?


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*The Thinking Vampire*

John Locke was a philosopher ―
He shared the world with Pepys,
Whose diaries cure insomnia,
And thus they sell in heaps.

Imagine my surprise on hearing
Locke is selling too.
I'd thought none read philosophy
― It seems that millions do.

I've tried his work myself, and while
I don't deny he's clever,
I never thought he'd make it with
Such cerebral endeavour.

I think the lookout's poor for all
I gloomily confess,
When millions read philosophy
And still the world's a mess.

I told a friend, who said "I find this
Altogether shocking
In a world that's run by vampires.
― Do you read Amanda Hocking?"

"I've never even heard of her,"
I said, "What has she written?"
He told me that she tells the tales
Of ladies who are smitten

By dead men who've returned to life.
I said "My patience fails."
"It would," he said, "if you could see
Her quite enormous sales."

It's true I sell no books
And nor does Jennifer or Connor
Or Kimberly or Nicholas:
Ours the Beige Bar of Honour.

But soon my sales will soar because
I now know where it's at:
I'm working on a book about
A philosophic bat.​


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## cecilia_writer (Dec 28, 2010)

MikeAngel said:


> I have a theory that Germans don't read much. And English read but only cozy tea & crumpet Miss Marple type mysteries. I think both countries suffer sadly from inferiority complexes--the Germans from losing two grand wars and being responsible for the death of millions, and the English are still sucking their thumbs for losing their empire.
> 
> Of course it's just a theory, but I won't hold my breath for many sales from those countries outside the bell curve.


I love this thread!
Actually, it isn't quite true about the English reading Miss Marple type mysteries - I've got people drinking tea all over the place in my mystery series, and one of my favourite characters is trying to learn to knit in order to become more 'normal' in the one I'm preparing for publication, and still I haven't had any UK sales recently.


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

Iain Manson said:


> *The Thinking Vampire*
> 
> John Locke was a philosopher ―
> He shared the world with Pepys,
> ...


very clever


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## Kimberly Van Meter (Apr 22, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *The Thinking Vampire*
> 
> John Locke was a philosopher ―
> He shared the world with Pepys,
> ...


LOL! I love it.

Very clever!

Kimberly V.


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## K. A. Jordan (Aug 5, 2010)

I have 1 year of data - and 103 sales for 'Let's Do Lunch.' (That's B&N, Amazon and Smashwords.) 

There were ALOT of give-aways = 198


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## SerenaKyle (Sep 1, 2011)

I submitted _On the Prowl_ August 1st, it went live a day or two later, and I've sold two copies in the US. But, I suspect this is as a result of being on the 'new on Kindle' list.

Serena


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

K. A. Jordan said:


> I have 1 year of data - and 103 sales for 'Let's Do Lunch.' (That's B&N, Amazon and Smashwords.)
> 
> There were ALOT of give-aways = 198


All right, KA, but some clarification is needed. If you're telling us that you've given away 198 and sold 103, then it's not a bad effort. But you have a problem with reviews: you've got eight, averaging four stars. Not promising.

I take it that the give-aways were an attempt to avoid sales to people who might otherwise have wished to buy? I'm trying to decide if this is legitimate. Decon, you're not still there, are you? I could do with a second opinion on this one.

*Serena*: Two sales in your first month is a fine start, but you're going to have to work pretty hard to keep the numbers down. It's a big risk, you see, to classify your story as "werewolf erotica", and your tags include "explicit erotica", "one-night stand" and "oral sex". With that kind of pedigree, you could sell an awful lot of stories if you're not very careful. But good work so far.


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## Guest (Nov 29, 2011)

Ian, what are your sales now?


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## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Sole book released 28th October 2011
October sales 2
November sales 6 (last sale 9 days ago)


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

I released my book just before Christmas last year, and all I've sold up til now is 8 copies. Beat that!


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## Will Write for Gruel (Oct 16, 2010)

I don't keep track of numbers because I taught myself formatting and cover making by putting up a number of $0.99 public domain books -- I did things like add author's biographies and other material -- so I get 50-100 sales a month of those books.  

My best month earned me about $450. Now I'm earning about $100-$120 a month. I haven't put up anything new in about five months, though, and that's why my sales have declined. Porn doesn't always sell like hotcakes. Especially the stuff I write, which is aimed at male audiences. 

Look at it this way: There are about a million ebooks for sale on Amazon. That means the top 1% are books with a 10,000 sales rank or lower. I believe a 10,000 sales rank is probably about 40-50 sales a month. 

That means 99% of the books don't even sell 40 copies a month. Probably 90% of the ebooks sell fewer than 10 copies a month. There's a lot of company down here at the bottom.


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## NoCat (Aug 5, 2010)

It took me 15 months to sell my first 1000 copies.

But it is snowballing a bit as I get more things up. I don't think it will take that long to sell the next 1k. We'll see.

Even bouncing along the bottom there is money to be made. I'm regularly paying my phone bill with ebooks, and in Jan (after I get paid for October) I'll be able to cover a lot more bills.  November is looking better than Oct, so Feb will mean a month where I don't worry about paying some bills either.  Everyone has to start somewhere


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## CraigInOregon (Aug 6, 2010)

Iain, always remember this:



> If you wrote something for which someone sent you a check, if you cashed the check and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented. --Stephen King


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## CraigInOregon (Aug 6, 2010)

Asher MacDonald said:


> My best month earned me about $450. Now I'm earning about $100-$120 a month.
> 
> ....
> 
> Porn doesn't always sell like hotcakes. Especially the stuff I write, which is aimed at male audiences.


...Cognitive dissonance overloading circuits...

If $100-$120 a month is considered "a slow month" by you, my friend... can we swap sales proceeds for, oh, maybe a couple months?  LOL


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## ETS PRESS (Nov 4, 2011)

I'll play: I've been published for 32 days. I've sold 18 books (out of 2) on Amazon, 2 on B&N, 3 on TPT for a whopping grand total of 23. I don't know if I qualify for this thread since I hit the best seller list on Sunday: #13 in elementary school and #10 in pedagogy.


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## CraigInOregon (Aug 6, 2010)

ETS PRESS said:


> ...and #10 in pedagogy.


But... that's illegal in at least 30 states!

(How dare you TEACH children... LOL.)


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## M Ramberg (Jun 23, 2011)

Nice thread - I have had a book up for a while, and with zero publicity have sold about three copies. I really need to figure out how to get myself out there...


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## Benjamin A. (Oct 1, 2011)

WilliamEsmont said:


> Starting out sucks. Sometimes you get lucky and hit a home run, but more often than not it's an uphill slog (often with setbacks). Here are my #s going back to the beginning for a little perspective...
> 
> 
> *Month**# Copies Sold**Notes*Dec 20091​Released my first book. Sold a copy to my mom.Jan 20101​Feb 20100​Mar 20100​Apr 20100​May 20101​Jun 201011​Jul 20106​Aug 201011​Sep 201010​Oct 201029​Released The Patriot ParadoxNov 201040​Dec 201099​Jan 2011538​Feb 2011786​Mar 20113250​Apr 20116434​May 20114787​Released Fire: Elements of The UndeadJun 20111891​Summer slumpJul 2011733​The summer slump gets worse...Aug 2011512​August REALLY sucks, by hey, at least I sold a power of 2 (2^9)


I am so glad I saw this post! As a new author, I'm struggling with numbers very similar to all those 0's and 1's and you have there at the beginning. Been really worried it's impossible to turn around if you can't get sales from the get go. It heartens me to see you stayed at it in the face of those beginning sales. Seems like I see more people talking about great sales on their first book, and that can make it difficult not to doubt yourself.

Thank you for showing those numbers, this is one of my favorite threads on KB so far!

To share my own, I've sold like 9 copies total since my book released in July, nearly 3 full months with no sales.


----------



## Will Write for Gruel (Oct 16, 2010)

CraigInTwinCities said:


> ...Cognitive dissonance overloading circuits...
> 
> If $100-$120 a month is considered "a slow month" by you, my friend... can we swap sales proceeds for, oh, maybe a couple months?  LOL


I'm counting Amazon, B&N, and Smashwords in that tally. For some reason the smut sells better on B&N, though not by a wide margin.

Anyway, with numbers this low it's impossible to it's hard to conclude much of anything.


----------



## ETS PRESS (Nov 4, 2011)

CraigInTwinCities said:


> But... that's illegal in at least 30 states!
> 
> (How dare you TEACH children... LOL.)


ped·a·go·gy   [ped-uh-goh-jee, -goj-ee] Show IPA
noun, plural -gies.
1.
the function or work of a teacher; teaching.
2.
the art or science of teaching; education; instructional methods.


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## RJ Locksley (Oct 21, 2011)

ETS PRESS said:


> ped·a·go·gy   [ped-uh-goh-jee, -goj-ee] Show IPA
> noun, plural -gies.
> 1.
> the function or work of a teacher; teaching.
> ...


I'm pretty sure Craig was joking.


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## HMcEwen (Oct 21, 2011)

I'm feeling much better now about my sales.


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## E.W. Saloka (Aug 21, 2011)

I am inspired by the authors here selling lots and lots of books... it gives me hope.

Our  book was released in August 2011.( It said 8/5 but by the time it was available from Bookbaby it was 8/22) .Sept.and Oct. were frightful at Amazon with 5 copies. B&N was better with a few more. 

Late Nov. picked up a few more at Amazon.

I read something on here about starting out slow but as they released more books their sales increased.  We will be releasing our second book in series which will be urban fantasy instead of epic.


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## RGPorter (Sep 19, 2011)

Love the thread. It's great to see the high numbers, but it is also nice to see more who are not doing them. I got my first novel up end of Sept/first of Oct. I have had 2 more novels and a novella out since then. My numbers aren't great at all. I think my total is about 83 since end of Sept total. I'm hoping that with my upcoming releases and once I can get on some of the book blogs those numbers will increase, but for now, they are just kind of 'there'.


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## SentientSurfer (Sep 20, 2011)

Where's George? He should definitely be on this thread. (Kidding George  )

Hmm let's see. I have two books - and another one that's free. Discounting the freebie - starting in August 2011 - I've had 25-30 sales total -- roughly 8-10 a month. A lot of giveaways too. A lot of them. . .

They're a novella and a short story. No novels. Yet.

Perspective: If the short story could sell 5 copies a month that wouldn't be too bad if I had, say, 10 short stories. That would be 50 sales a month for approximately $20. Not much in itself, but that's $240 a year, and, in five years, if Amazon remains constant ( :/ ) that would be $1,2000 -- not too bad for 30,000 words that may otherwise have wasted away on my hardrive.

Strange Aside: The freebie sells (i.e. gives away) well maybe 4 copies a day, yet it has never _ever_ been in my paid books' Also-Bought list. Different readers? Am I burning those freebies readers so they never want to see my name again? Do people who like literary shorts about writing and muses, not enjoy post apocalyptic humor or Lovecraftian horror motifs grafted onto a LGBT high school allegory?

I don't know. . .


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## edwardgtalbot (Apr 28, 2010)

Asher MacDonald said:


> Look at it this way: There are about a million ebooks for sale on Amazon. That means the top 1% are books with a 10,000 sales rank or lower. I believe a 10,000 sales rank is probably about 40-50 sales a month.


A 10,000 sales rank has been 200-230 books a month most of the year. A 20,000 rank is maybe 120 books a month. A ranking of 5000 takes something like 450. Doesn't change your overall point, though, I just figured I'd mention it since I am always interested in what numbers get what rankings.

If I'd answered this post in February after my two short story collections had been up for 12 months, I would have been in the running. As with William, subsequent events have disqualified me.


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## Jon Olson (Dec 10, 2010)

WilliamEsmont said:


> Starting out sucks. Sometimes you get lucky and hit a home run, but more often than not it's an uphill slog (often with setbacks). Here are my #s going back to the beginning for a little perspective...
> 
> 
> *Month**# Copies Sold**Notes*Dec 20091​Released my first book. Sold a copy to my mom.Jan 20101​Feb 20100​Aug 201011​


I love this! Slow starts that succeed. I'm on a (hopefully) similar trajectory. And, yes, I want to lose this contest!


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## Jon Olson (Dec 10, 2010)

Edward C. Patterson said:


> *There was time when I sold a few,
> But then I had a smaller queue,
> A trickle, not a tidal wave,
> A hermit writing in his cave.
> ...


Hey. Funny.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Actually, I think I win this one.

After what, 9 months... I have no idea how many books I've sold.  None.  

I know I've sold some, as bits of money turn up now and then, and I have sold about 50 paperbacks myself - but some of them where given away for review.

But I genuinely don't have one jot of a clue, as to how many I've sold.  I looked at everyone panicking about how to drive sales and thought "I'm not doing that!"

And I haven't.

So, the answer is, genuinely  "Some.  A few."

There, do I win?


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## CraigInOregon (Aug 6, 2010)

RJ Locksley said:


> I'm pretty sure Craig was joking.


I am a joker.

But contrary to that libel Steve Miller Band put out about me (back in 1973 when I was only seven, for heaven's sake!), I am neither a smoker, nor a midnight toker...

...have been known to "play my music on the run," though.


----------



## Caddy (Sep 13, 2011)

William, your growth gives me hope.  I released my first book August 1st.  I sold 25 in 30 days.  In 60 days I had sold 50, so I hoped to sell 100 in 4 months.  With only 2 days left, I am 15 short.  I have only sold 85, in spite of great reviews from book bloggers.

However, book 2 is coming out next month.  I believe in my novels and am doing what I am supposed to do to give them the best shot. Fingers crossed.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> Actually, I think I win this one.
> 
> After what, 9 months... I have no idea how many books I've sold. None.
> 
> ...


Nope. I still have you beat with 8 total sales in almost a full calendar year.


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## JodyWallace (Mar 29, 2011)

I sell between 0-4 books a month of my indie books. I guess after I put out 1000 I *might* be able to get that external harddrive repaired that has all the baby videos on it! My book money is the way we're saving up for it. The kids are going to be 50 by then, but hey.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

I'm afraid I'm doing all too well at low sales numbers. I have not been paid in the seven months I've been published. That is surely a bad sign.


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

And I have one review now and 130 freebie downloads so I may have to leave my gold star behind... someday anyway.


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

Attebery said:


> Ian, what are your sales now?


Thank you for asking, Mike. Things are still going swimmingly.

I did have an alarming moment last week, when I discovered that sales of The Happiest Days had abruptly risen from almost zero to more than five thousand. And then I recalled that I had made it free on Smashwords, enabling people to demand it free from Amazon.

In a fit of rage, I immediately started charging again at Smashwords, but it's made no difference: it's still free on Amazon. Can't be helped, and anyway it's nothing to worry about, because giveaways don't count.

More worryingly, it has now attracted two reviews. But such comments as "lurches from chapter to chapter with all the grace of an inebriated soul trying to walk in a circle" can be regarded as harmless: sales are unlikely to be affected. (Though I think that the second star awarded by this luminary was uncalled for.)

No time to respond to all recent posters, but I'll address just a few:

*Lynda*: Won't do at all, I'm afraid. With sales increasing by a factor of three each month, my calculations suggest that you will sell 3,188,646 copies of Chamaeleon next November alone.

*Roshawn (Mr. Rad)*: Splendid, splendid. An example to us all. I'll be sampling your work.

*Craig*: Thank you for the Stephen King quote, but I'm not sure I can pay a light bill from my literary earnings quite yet. I'm working on it.

*Lisa (ETS PRESS)*: No, Lisa, you're way off the pace. And Craig is right. What you do is illegal and disgusting. Stop it.

*Michael Ramberg*: You're doing well. Just keep quiet about your work, and everything will be fine.

*Benjamin*: You're a star, and one of some magnitude. Keep it up.

*Edward Talbot*: At least you tried, and had some good months.

*Morgan*: I'm with you. The very word "marketing" brings a red mist before my eyes. My own efforts have combined pathos and comedy in roughly equal measure. (But no, you don't win. You admit to earning some money.)

*Jody*: You're doing well. I just know you're going to get that hard drive fixed, and I just know it won't be soon. Good work.

*E. Stoops*: A most creditable performance. I have my eye on you.

Would anyone else like to join the party? Scaredycats . . .


----------



## RJ Locksley (Oct 21, 2011)

CraigInTwinCities said:


> I am a joker.
> 
> But contrary to that libel Steve Miller Band put out about me (back in 1973 when I was only seven, for heaven's sake!), I am neither a smoker, nor a midnight toker...
> 
> ...have been known to "play my music on the run," though.


I am tragically too young for your musical references.


----------



## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

A friend of mine published 5 weeks ago (in the same genre as me) and she has already sold about 50 more books than I've managed in 7 months. However, I have actually sold 3 more books in November than I sold in October (though still in single digits) so perhaps I'm not as successful a failure as I thought?


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> More worryingly, it has now attracted two reviews. But such comments as "lurches from chapter to chapter with all the grace of an inebriated soul trying to walk in a circle" can be regarded as harmless: sales are unlikely to be affected. (Though I think that the second star awarded by this luminary was uncalled for.)


I'm dead curious at that -- which book was reviewed with such lovely, yet vitriolic prose?


----------



## MGalloway (Jun 21, 2011)

I'm seeing a worrying trend. Over the past week, I've sold four paperbacks (in person). I also did a giveaway on Goodreads and acquired two more reviews. I published another book, too.


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## Sharlow (Dec 20, 2009)

Success has a lot to do with perception. Like right now I feel like I'm failing and not really a success at this. But when I look at the figures for the last two years it looks completely different. As an example.

2010 sales: 500  Biggest check $150

Then you take 2011

2011 sales: Over 17,000 sales so far. Biggest check $3,958. 

Looking at those numbers, I would say there has been some considerable growth. Nothing earth shattering, but still decent. I also gave away almost 9,000 books last month in about a three week span. So perception is everything, and sometimes you just have to step back and look at the big picture.


----------



## Guest (Nov 30, 2011)

Sharlow said:


> Success has a lot to do with perception. Like right now I feel like I'm failing and not really a success at this. But when I look at the figures for the last two years it looks completely different. As an example.
> 
> 2010 sales: 500 Biggest check $150
> 
> ...


I can sympathize, Sharlow. Taking a step down from the precipice, not matter how high up you were, feels like a loss. At the same time, I'm not even sure a comparison to last year is fair because I've got so many more books out and have done so much more. I think the only thing left to do is to work on taking the next step up, even if it's in a different direction than what got you a bit higher up in the first place.


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## Sharlow (Dec 20, 2009)

True! I think still the most important thing is to keep putting things out. With all the new authors out there, you need something fresh for your fans otherwise they might lose interest in you thanks to all the new sparkles that are out there.  

How you doing Jason? I know your sales were way up there. I'm still looking forward to the after Christmas buying spike which I'm hoping will be there this year.


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## Jerri Kay Lincoln (Jun 18, 2011)

I just had my first one hundred dollar month, and I am totally jazzed!  I have two new books coming out soon, and I'm looking forward to my first one hundred dollar week!  One thousand dollar day . . . here I come!


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## Guest (Nov 30, 2011)

Sharlow said:


> True! I think still the most important thing is to keep putting things out. With all the new authors out there, you need something fresh for your fans otherwise they might lose interest in you thanks to all the new sparkles that are out there.
> 
> How you doing Jason? I know your sales were way up there. I'm still looking forward to the after Christmas buying spike which I'm hoping will be there this year.


I'm hanging in there, thanks. It has been a long slide from the glory days, but I've got a new release coming out on the 5th that will hopefully make a serious run for the holidays. You putting anything out soon?

I absolutely would love to see another huge post-holiday boost, but it's hard to think it'll work out like that. There are so many more really cheap books out there now, meaning if you're not already seeing huge sales you're unlikely to see a staggering bump. A lot of it comes down to what people are able to do to effectively promote their work.


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

I crested 200 this month, but that's the lowest since 2009. It's a good thing that I value each reader more than each $ .35.   However, even at this leveling off, I should crest 15,000 by year's end. I've only release 2 books this year, although I have one coming out in 2 weeks (a non-fiction, humor book). 

Edward C. Patterson


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## Sharlow (Dec 20, 2009)

foreverjuly said:


> I'm hanging in there, thanks. It has been a long slide from the glory days, but I've got a new release coming out on the 5th that will hopefully make a serious run for the holidays. You putting anything out soon?
> 
> I absolutely would love to see another huge post-holiday boost, but it's hard to think it'll work out like that. There are so many more really cheap books out there now, meaning if you're not already seeing huge sales you're unlikely to see a staggering bump. A lot of it comes down to what people are able to do to effectively promote their work.


Yeah I'm not sure it's going to be a big holiday jump, but I'm expecting at least some. after all there are a lot of people that like to give out gift cards for the holidays, not to mention all the new kindles that should be handed out. So who knows, my fingers are crossed. As to my next work...I'm trying. I have a lot of people asking when the next of any of my series are coming out. This health issue really set me back. But I am starting to write again, and I'm actually starting to look forward to it again.

I just got to drive my van for the first time since July yesterday. It was really cool to be outside in control of my life, even if it was only driving. But I am trying to get something out soon.


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

EStoops said:


> I'm dead curious at that -- which book was reviewed with such lovely, yet vitriolic prose?


The book in question, the one which "lurches from chapter to chapter with all the grace of an inebriated soul trying to walk in a circle" is The Happiest Days, which admittedly has no overarching plot. It's made up of incidents in the schooldays of a kid growing up in the 1950s and 1960s. It's meant to be funny (though one commentator at YouWriteOn said she didn't understand why I called it a comic novel, since she found it so sad.)

Of my other three reviews, one (for The Lion and the Eagle, my one conventionally published book) ends with "You want put it down."

I do well for reviews.


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## Steve Vernon (Feb 18, 2011)

Finally!

I have found my people!

I can't offer any numbers - because I'm too lazy to go back through my e-publisher's invoices - but the fact if I were to count each e-book sold on my fingers and toes I probably wouldn't need both of my feet.

Hmmm, how long has it been since I scrubbed under my toenails 

Dang, my feet smell funny...


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## cecilia_writer (Dec 28, 2010)

I'm afraid things have gone right downhill for me - 163 sales in October and 170 in November and somehow another of my novels has escaped into the wild in time for Christmas... But I am not too worried about that one because it's in a slightly new genre (new to me that is) and probably won't sell.
I still haven't been paid for any of the above so maybe there is a place for me in this thread after all!
Ian, just a word of warning re the free book: it was having a free novel available that put me on this downward path in the first place, and that novel now sadly has 14 reviews on amazon.co.uk.


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## 21tiger (Dec 1, 2011)

You guys are fun.   

Btw, I'm seeing a ton of great fiction writers on here. What about Non-fiction? Are there any savvy Non-fiction Indies? I'd like to highlight some on my site. 

(Mike in Shanghai)


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## SentientSurfer (Sep 20, 2011)

Glynn James said:


> April - 22
> May - 295
> June - 335
> July - 419
> ...


I think you missed the ironic concept of this thread.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

SentientSurfer said:


> I think you missed the ironic concept of this thread.


No no no, they are reveling in their abject failure. Just look at those high numbers. They probably even have 4 and 5 star reviews -- how vile and unenlightened!

I, on the other hand, am pleased to report that the BBOS has again returned to haunt my days.


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*EStoops*: I agree with you that some on this thread are "reveling in their abject failure". There are people here who have sold thousands, for God's sake, how shameful is that? Best ignore them. These trolls aren't worth powder and shot.

*Steve and EStoops*: You're both doing well, but I'm a little dubious about the very small thumbnails in your sig lines. This could be seen as an attempt to avoid notice. I think you're both just about okay so far, but would all contestants please note that anyone attempting to _hide_ work will be disqualified. Anyone can fail to sell a book that way.

*Mike*: I have one nonfiction book available, but it bears the imprint of a "real" publisher, and has even sold a few copies, so I'm not proud of it. On the other hand, in the words of reviewer David Cleaver, "you want put it down."

*Cecilia*: My commiserations on the recent sales. Yes, it sounds like the freebie caused all the trouble, and with fourteen reviews, it may not now be possible to turn the tide. You have earned something of a reputation, and this will make it hard for you to avoid sales in future. But let's see what happens with the new novel before we write you off.


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

Oh, I like this thread. Here's the story of a lonely book that has yet to find its audience; Resonance: Birds Of Passage. It's a story perhaps best told through numbers:

March - 5
April - 4
May - 3
June - 2
July - 1
August - 0 (Blast-off! Except in reverse.)
September - 0
October - 3 (In one day! Someone who read it recommended it to all their friends!)
November - 0 (I knew the good times couldn't last.)

But of course, all my other books are doing well!  Ahaha. Haha. Ha. Haaa~


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## winspearj (Dec 1, 2011)

Great thread idea. I was exhilarated when my sales reached 10; but they've stayed there. If only I could transpose my good reviews from Amazon UK to US! Oh well, never mind; it doesn't stop it being an exciting venture.
Jonathan


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## LKWatts (May 5, 2011)

Thank you Iain for posting this thread, I have not laughed like this all week until now. Have a great weekend!


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *Morgan*: I'm with you. The very word "marketing" brings a red mist before my eyes. My own efforts have combined pathos and comedy in roughly equal measure. (But no, you don't win. You admit to earning some money.)
> 
> Would anyone else like to join the party? Scaredycats . . .


You too must have earned some money! It only takes one copy!


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## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

I'm solidly unsuccessful, despite good reviews. I think I deserve a place in this thread.


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## Nicki Leigh (Aug 25, 2011)

I could've sworn I replied to this post earlier, but I guess I must've dreamed it or some such. In any case, I'm still rather new, but here are my numbers since September.


Sept 2011 -5 kindle, 2 Nook
Oct 2011 - 8 kindle, 1 paperback
Nov 2011 - 7 kindle, 2 SW, 3 Nook, 3 paperbacks

Wow,  hadn't realized my small growth since I checked my numbers. Not too bad. Also, anyone know how to check Smashwords sales by month? I cannot seem to find it.


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## Nicki Leigh (Aug 25, 2011)

Thanks. That's pretty much what I do  I wasn't sure if there was a spreadsheet or anything.


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## JodyWallace (Mar 29, 2011)

Oh dear. It's only December 4 and I have made a sale on one of the many, many sites where the books are available. My dreams of really kicking everyone's tush with a goose-egg month in which there is often a lot of spending are crashing around me!


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## RGPorter (Sep 19, 2011)

winspearj said:


> Great thread idea. I was exhilarated when my sales reached 10; but they've stayed there. If only I could transpose my good reviews from Amazon UK to US! Oh well, never mind; it doesn't stop it being an exciting venture.
> Jonathan


Jonathan,

I just wish i could SELL in the UK.


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*Ben*: I hope you're not making up those remarkable sales figures for Birds of Passage... But if they're genuine, it's a fine performance. The manic laughter, however, does not hide the shame which your other books have brought on you.

*Morgan*: You're right, of course. Your prompting persuaded me to look, and I have just established that in the course of a year, my three indie books have earned between them $9.18 plus £9.15. There may even, for all I know, be some means of accessing this wealth.

*R.M. Reed*: I'm not sure you're a deserving case. A failure to offer figures is usually evidence of a shameful secret, and good reviews are always dangerous.

*E.S. Lark*: The figures are not great, and the trend is negative. Go away.

*Jody*: Not enough detail. How long have your books been available, and how many have you sold? Vague claims of low sales will not earn you a place in the pantheon of great failures. Look back in this thread and you'll find some truly epic performances. Can you match them?

On a different but related matter, I've decided I do care about giveaways after all, even though they don't officially count. I am nauseated to find that by pricing two books at zero on Smashwords, I have unwittingly given away thousands of books on Amazon. I've now started charging again at Smashwords, but can't work out if this has had any effect at Amazon. Have I done enough, or must I take further steps to prevent these monsters of thrift from indulging their vile perversion at my expense?


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## JodyWallace (Mar 29, 2011)

Oh, I already reported my low sales (never more than 5 a month, with 3 indie books available) -- I was just giving an update on my efforts to lower them even further!


----------



## Cliff Ball (Apr 10, 2010)

I manage on average about 100 sales a month, when I actually promote. When I don't, it's generally around 50 or so a month.


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## MGalloway (Jun 21, 2011)

I think I'm entering "epic fail" territory now. Seven months of having two books available on the Kindle...and less than five e-book sales total.


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## brianrowe (Mar 10, 2011)

Great thread here. I've written three Young Adult novels and two Adult novels. Neither of the adult novels have sold a single copy since September. I released Book 2 of my Birthday trilogy in September, and I've sold 20 copies. Just released Book 3 today. Hopefully there will be some movement after the holidays


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## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

I'm sorry. I sold three copies at iBooks that I didn't know about until yesterday.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *Roshawn (Mr. Rad)*: Splendid, splendid. An example to us all. I'll be sampling your work.


I'm an example to my fellow indie authors? Wow! That's better than 10 5-star book reviews!!!! Whooohoooooo!!!!


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## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

Iain Manson said:


> *R.M. Reed*: I'm not sure you're a deserving case. A failure to offer figures is usually evidence of a shameful secret, and good reviews are always dangerous.


I sold 11 last month, but spread over five books. I have to admit that I lapsed in October, selling 32. That was only because I have a book with "Halloween" in the title, so it fit the season. I promise to do better in the future.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Skate said:


> I'm sorry. I sold three copies at iBooks that I didn't know about until yesterday.


I think with an appropriate amount of pennance, we will forgive. Forget, no, but forgive... we'll try.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *Morgan*: You're right, of course. Your prompting persuaded me to look, and I have just established that in the course of a year, my three indie books have earned between them $9.18 plus £9.15. There may even, for all I know, be some means of accessing this wealth.


Well, we are now locked in eternal competition. Whoever earns enough to pay the electricity bill first, loses.

I'll just go and switch off all the lights, see if that helps!  Oh no, I'll go switch them all on!

(On the accessing the wealth, I'm in a publishing consortium, whereby three of us sell our stuff under one heading. (more welcome). So the reason the money trickles out to me (how I access my vast wealth) is that combined, we earn enough to trigger minimum payments now and then. 

http://ethicstrading.com/


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*Jody*: Sincere apologies. Of course, the hard drive! Don't know how I forgot. You are doing well, and I won't forget again. Keep up the good work.

*Cliff Ball*: You're a disgrace. And you're banned.

*MGalloway*: Michael, your post of November 30 was not inspiring, but this one is. Keep up the excellent work. And just stay quiet about the paperbacks.

*Brian*: Your only hope is to stop writing Young Adult fiction now. Otherwise, there's no saying how bad things might get. Don't say I didn't warn you.

*Skate*: Well, Katie, at least your honesty does you credit. I am content to follow the lead given by the admirable *EStoops*. But a second such oversight will not be treated leniently.

*Roshawn*: The Pearl of Great Price seems to be a worryingly professional job, well formatted and with no typos that I could spot. Even appears interesting. Still, if you just stay quiet about it, you might yet keep sales down.

*R.M. Reed*: Thank you, Robin. A creditable performance but for the lapse in October. And I accept your excuse for that. But two of your works aren't showing in your sig line. This counts as hiding books, and is not permitted. Please remedy.

*Morgan*: To the death, then. But you have no hope. I will _never_ earn enough to pay my electricity bill. And if I so much as suspect you of buying one of my books, I will buy two copies of yours.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

MGalloway said:


> I think I'm entering "epic fail" territory now. Seven months of having two books available on the Kindle...and less than five e-book sales total.


This is good stuff.



Iain Manson said:


> *Roshawn*: The Pearl of Great Price seems to be a worrying professional job, well formatted and with no typos that I could spot. Even appears interesting. Still, if you just stay quiet about it, you might yet keep sales down.


What? Well formatted with no typos and appears interesting? Shoot. I'm a borderline poser, then. I'll do as you say, Iain, and keep my mouth shut.

By keeping silent, I'll never earn enough to pay the electric bill. Heck, I won't even be able to pay a flat-rate cellular bill.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *Morgan*: To the death, then. But you have no hope. I will _never_ earn enough to pay my electricity bill. And if I so much as suspect you of buying one of my books, I will buy two copies of yours.


Dang!


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Forgive me Iain, I have sinned most grievously. 

I've been... marketing.

But, it is not too bad a sin. I have made no sales from my efforts. 

ETA: Actually, I made a paperback sale on Createspace. But it's not all bad. I suspect I know the guilty party.


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Congrats, and I'm right there with you. I don't sell much, but I keep trying, and appreciate every sale


----------



## ChadMck (Feb 25, 2011)

I'm loving this thread. 

I have about 75 combined blog subscribers and one 5 star review. In order to balance this tiny success out I vow to release a book of humor essays and sell 0 copies per month, bringing my averages back down. 

Give me a little time, I know I have it in me to fall short of my own expectations.


----------



## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

Iain Manson said:


> *R.M. Reed*: Thank you, Robin. A creditable performance but for the lapse in October. And I accept your excuse for that. But two of your works aren't showing in your sig line. This counts as hiding books, and is not permitted. Please remedy.


I have stories in some anthologies, those are the only works of mine I don't have in my sig line. I can't be blamed if any of those are actually selling, I'm sure people buy them for stories by other authors.


----------



## treycikay (Nov 16, 2011)

This thread is crazy. I thought I was alone in having low start numbers. Even priced at 99 cents, I've had my book up for little over a month now with only about 40 copies sold. I guess I'll have to see where the holiday season takes me...


----------



## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

treycikay said:


> This thread is crazy. I thought I was alone in having low start numbers. Even priced at 99 cents, I've had my book up for little over a month now with only about 40 copies sold. I guess I'll have to see where the holiday season takes me...


40 is great. Take it from me with #19 coming out next week - the launh period for steady sales for any given title (depending on the type - stand-alone, first in a series, next book in a series, non-fiction or poetry) is about 6 months.

Edward C. Patterson


----------



## treycikay (Nov 16, 2011)

Edward C. Patterson said:


> 40 is great. Take it from me with #19 coming out next week - the launh period for steady sales for any given title (depending on the type - stand-alone, first in a series, next book in a series, non-fiction or poetry) is about 6 months.
> 
> Edward C. Patterson


Thanks for the advice. Its way more assuring coming from someone with that number of works on the market. Speaking of which, do you have any productivity tips. With about 20 books done, I'm sure you know a thing or two about how to keep putting out material.


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*EStoops*: No forgiveness needed for marketing. Indeed, it shows confidence: look at me, I'm so sure I'll never sell any books that I'm not even scared to advertise them! I've made a few hilariously ineffective attempts at marketing myself. The reason I don't recommend it is simply that it can be dangerous, and the rules of the game don't demand it.

*Debra Purdy Kong*: A relation of Mrs Malaprop, perchance? You say "appreciate", you mean "deprecate". Get it right.

*ChadMcK*: You show an excellent spirit, Chad, and I'm sure I speak for all on this thread when I say that I have the highest hopes of you. Great attitude.

*R.M. Reed*: All right, Robin, I'll take this into account.

*treycikay*: _Forty copies in the first month_ Treyci, you're a disgrace. What must your poor mother think?

*Edward C. Patterson*: Didn't I ban you? If not, I should have. Troll.


----------



## MartinWrites (Aug 17, 2011)

1 title, 4 months, 33 copies (all distribution channels).

So I'm a success, right? Unless you all buy my book to bring me down a peg or two...


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

MartinWrites said:


> 1 title, 4 months, 33 copies (all distribution channels).
> 
> So I'm a success, right? Unless you all buy my book to bring me down a peg or two...


I have a dirty, rotten, underhanded plan.

I'm not just going to buy books...... I'm going to review them. I might even review them positively. Tremble in fear......


----------



## MartinWrites (Aug 17, 2011)

EStoops said:


> I have a dirty, rotten, underhanded plan.
> 
> I'm not just going to buy books...... I'm going to review them. I might even review them positively. Tremble in fear......


Review? I await that with interest!


----------



## Mike Dennis (Apr 26, 2010)

Glynn James said:


> April - 22
> May - 295
> June - 335
> July - 419
> ...


How did you go from 22 to 295 in only your 2nd month?


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

I continue to live up to the proud tradition that earned me a gold star earlier in the thread. Alas, I did gain one four-star review, and have had a steady stream of downloads at SW, but those were all freebies so I continue to not earn any money. I am now on track to put out a second story, which I am sure will continue my tradition of success!


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Iain Manson said:


> *EStoops*: No forgiveness needed for marketing. Indeed, it shows confidence: look at me, I'm so sure I'll never sell any books that I'm not even scared to advertise them! I've made a few hilariously ineffective attempts at marketing myself. The reason I don't recommend it is simply that it can be dangerous, and the rules of the game don't demand it.
> 
> *Debra Purdy Kong*: A relation of Mrs Malaprop, perchance? You say "appreciate", you mean "deprecate". Get it right.


Haha, I'm loving this thread


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

I was worried I had to leave this thread. One of my books became a bestseller on another site which rhymes with mapple. Then I got the hard data - 4 sales. I still got it.  Might be one of the few times I can use this line: just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

Well, I have come back to confess. I made Resonance: Birds Of Passage free and in one day I've had more downloads than I've had sales for ALL of my books over the past year.

I'm very, very sorry.


----------



## MGalloway (Jun 21, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *MGalloway*: Michael, your post of November 30 was not inspiring, but this one is. Keep up the excellent work. And just stay quiet about the paperbacks.


Thanks! Good thing I didn't mention the hundreds of free short stories that have been downloaded...


----------



## Pamela Kay Noble Brown (Mar 3, 2011)

I don't know how this is the first time I'm seeing this thread, but ............I'm on top of the world! (In my James Cagney voice).  I made it!  I'm a success!!!  

Last month five books sold over two titles and this month so far one.


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*MartinWrites*: I wouldn't say your figures are disastrous, Martin, but if you study this thread carefully, you'll find you're way off the pace. But don't abandon hope - sales may yet dry up.

*EStoops*: Now listen, E, and listen carefully. DON'T . . . EVEN . . . _THINK_ ABOUT IT. (And pay close attention to the message at the end of this post.)

*jnfr*: Well done, Jennifer. Attagirl! Freebies don't count - I've accidentally given away thousands. And a single review, even a good one, is manageable. Keep it up.

*dkazemi*: Wow, Danielle, must have been sweaty-palm time! I can just imagine your feeling of relief when the figures - or should I say digit? - came through. Good that you're still with us.

*Ben White*: It's all right, Ben, take it easy. See my response to Jennifer.

*MGalloway*: Same as Ben, Michael. Freebies don't count, so you're okay.

*Pamela Kay Noble Brown*: Noble by name, noble by nature. Good work so far, Pamela, but watch out for that upward curve.

_*All contestants*: In view of the vile threat from EStoops to review the books of other contestants, let me make it clear that reviews, like purchases, are banned._


----------



## joanhallhovey (Nov 7, 2010)

last quarter I sold over 400 copies of my books combined - I have 5 suspense novel on amazon.com etc.  So it's not great compared to many, but not so bad either.  While we're doing this, and what a wonderful topic, if anyone has done something that spikes his or her sales, let us know.  I found Kindle Nation Daily a great way to build sales, but it's not cheap.  Great reviews definitely help - received some nice five stars for my latest two.  So anyway you can keep your name and book titles out there help.  When I read about people like Konrath and Hocking I think about lightning striking.    Sometimes things turn around and suddenly your book is flying off the virtual bookshelves.  It can be a mention on the right website that does it.  You never know. So we just have to keep believing in our selves and keep plugging the books and giving others a boost when we can.

best, Joan


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

Phew, 'freebies don't count', what a relief ...

... except I've sold seven non-free books since I made that one free.  It wasn't my intention, I assure you.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Just checked my KDP stats. I have the BBoS across the board. Now _that's_ success.


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## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

Oh, Mr RAD. Here I was, thinking how well I was doing with one sale for the month and you go and spoil it all by being better than me! 

*stamps off, pouting*


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## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

I've been flirting with failure.  A free short story has left people with an unhealthy interest in my novels.  Fortunately, they are coming to their senses at the last second and my sales remain quite low (although I've been ever so slightly less successful since then.)


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Skate said:


> Oh, Mr RAD. Here I was, thinking how well I was doing with one sale for the month and you go and spoil it all by being better than me!
> 
> *stamps off, pouting*


----------



## Incognita (Apr 3, 2011)

I'm so glad I found this thread! You all give me hope.

Last month was all right...50 copies of three books...but I've plummeted down to 10 in December, despite giving away oodles of free stories on Smashwords.

I don't know what's going on w/the titles from my e-publisher, though, although my last royalty check did buy a couple of Christmas presents.

Hmm. Still, not exactly Hocking/Locke territory.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Someone is cheating. I'm getting sales.  

I mean, uhm, contrition.... oh please, oh please forgive such HEINOUS crimes.


----------



## Guest (Dec 22, 2011)

I'd say first book "On/Off - A Jekyll & Hyde Story" is pretty much hated. I usually sell a couple of copies, then see a couple of returns a day or so later. Anytime I see a sale I just assume it's gonna be undone shortly.


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

I'm going to have to bow out for now, I just keep selling books this month.  I try giving them away and people are like "NOOOOO TAKE MY MONEY" and I'm all "But I want to make them free!" and they're all like "MY MONEY YOU MUST TAKE IT" and so I kind of go "Oh all right then".


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Ben White said:


> I'm going to have to bow out for now, I just keep selling books this month. I try giving them away and people are like "NOOOOO TAKE MY MONEY" and I'm all "But I want to make them free!" and they're all like "MY MONEY YOU MUST TAKE IT" and so I kind of go "Oh all right then".


It's a little hard to fight with that.


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## William Woodall (Jun 8, 2009)

I've sold an amazing 240 copies of the three books in my werewolf series during the past six months.  It just doesn't get any better than that, guys!  lol


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Ben, that is really sad news. We will miss you here in the Successful Indies Group. But you can still come to the parties if you like.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

William Woodall said:


> I've sold an amazing 240 copies of the three books in my werewolf series during the past six months. It just doesn't get any better than that, guys! lol


240 copies sold in six months? In this thread, that's failure.  You don't belong, my friend.


----------



## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

I'm sorry, but I've failed miserably. I put my children's book on KDP Select and it's sold more copies in two days than I'd sold over two books in the six months before. I apologise for failing so abysmally and won't return here until I am more successful.


----------



## Lanie Jordan (Feb 23, 2011)

I've been published a week and I've sold...7 copies. 4 of which I know are from people I, er, well, know. 

Am I success or a failure? LOL


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

So only three unknown people bought your book and it has been out for a whole week? That will just not cut it. Hopefully no one will tell their friends and everything will go back to normal.


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## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

I am happy to announce my continued under-performance 

Whilst elsewhere people are reporting high Christmas sales to feed all those newly bought Kindles out there, _Chamaeleon: The Secret Spy_ has sold the massivsely exciting number of . . . 2 ( just to be clear - TWO) taking my December figures to a grand total of 8 - 3 on .com and 5 on .UK.
This is despite me having spent hours setting up http://kindle-for-kids.com to promote children's books by myself and other writers and having two 5* and one 4* reviews.

I must be in line for an award for this, surely, by now.


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## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

I hereby present Lynda with the 'Deserves to do better' award. Or should that be the 'Deserves to do worse' award? Aaagh, this thread confuses me! Anyway, if anyone wants to get Lynda off this thread, buy her book. It's good!


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## NicoleK (Dec 27, 2011)

I haven't even finished my first draft yet (darn children). 

Does that qualify?


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

I think we'll have to call for a judgement from the OP on that. But I suspect you can't be really successful until you publish something that isn't bought.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

NicoleK said:


> I haven't even finished my first draft yet (darn children).
> 
> Does that qualify?


I agree with jnfr. You have to publish something and then have it sell little to nothing to be called a success.



Lyndawrites said:


> I am happy to announce my continued under-performance
> 
> Whilst elsewhere people are reporting high Christmas sales to feed all those newly bought Kindles out there, _Chamaeleon: The Secret Spy_ has sold the massivsely exciting number of . . . 2 ( just to be clear - TWO) taking my December figures to a grand total of 8 - 3 on .com and 5 on .UK.
> This is despite me having spent hours setting up http://kindle-for-kids.com to promote children's books by myself and other writers and having two 5* and one 4* reviews.
> ...


Lyndawrites, I admire your achievement, but I'm certain to win the "Deserves to do better/worse" award.


----------



## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Skate said:


> I hereby present Lynda with the 'Deserves to do better' award. Or should that be the 'Deserves to do worse' award? Aaagh, this thread confuses me! Anyway, if anyone wants to get Lynda off this thread, buy her book. It's good!


Thank you so much for the recommendation, Kate. I would be honoured to receive the 'Deserves to to better/worse' award - were it not that Mr RAD thinks he's got it in the bag.


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## CathyQuinn (Dec 9, 2010)

I published a year ago, sold a few a month for the first couple of months, then I can proudly say I sold ZERO books from June until December.

Now this damn Select program is ruining my perfect track record! I've been selling up to two copies a day for an entire week! Hopefully this nonsense will fade away soon.


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## NicoleK (Dec 27, 2011)

jnfr said:


> I think we'll have to call for a judgement from the OP on that. But I suspect you can't be really successful until you publish something that isn't bought.


I think you're right. Hopefully by the end of the year I will be successful...crossing my fingers!


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

Iain (OP) here. I've been away too long, but I'm back.

*Ben*: Good of you to fess up on the sales. Commiserations. But, as Jennifer says, your fall from grace does not affect your earlier achievement. We'll always think of you as a friend.

*Mr. RAD*: Splendid stuff, Roshawn! The BBoS (Amazon's beige bar of shame, indicating no sales) is the ultimate accolade. You are the Napoleon of literary failure.

*Kathelm*: Well, Steve, the free short story was always a risk. But keep your profile low, and you may be forgotten. Kindle readers are not known for their retentive memories.

*ChristinePope*: Hopeless, Christine, hopeless. Declining sales are always to be celebrated, but to boast about a decline from fifty sales in November to ten in the first half of December... Well, that's really clutching at straws.

*EStoops*: You're going to have to pull your socks up...

*Attebery*: Good work on the returns, Mike. Shows class. I've been cock-a-hoop since having two _free_ books returned.

*William Woodall*: I concur with Roshawn (Mr. RAD). And that is all I have to say to you.

*Skate*: Ah, Katie, KDP Select was always going to be a risk. But, as with Ben, thank you for being honest.
_But see below under Lyndawrites_.

*Lanie Jordan*: Wise words from Danielle, Lanie. Mark them.

*Lyndawrites*: The last time I spoke to you Lynda, I predicted disaster. I was wrong, and I'm happy to acknowledge it. Well done!
_[Katie has, disgracefully, encouraged people to buy Lynda's book. As I have previously made clear, such behaviour is not permitted, and Katie is therefore banned.]_

*NicoleK*: Jennifer and Roshawn are correct. The failure to sell nothing is not especially admirable. Come back when you have something real to tell us.

*CathyQuinn*: Yes, as I was saying to the now-banned Katie, KDP Select was always going to cause problems. Let's hope that "this nonsense" does indeed "fade away soon." My fingers are crossed for you.


----------



## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

I love this thread.

In the New Year, I plan to start using my books to wrap fish in so at least people have to take them home with them.


----------



## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

> [Katie has, disgracefully, encouraged people to buy Lynda's book. As I have previously made clear, such behaviour is not permitted, and Katie is therefore banned.]


No, no, please don't ban me! I've got a bad memory and didn't remember that rule. I'll do better, I promise! Look, I hardly sold any books yesterday! I'm trying, I really am!


----------



## Douglas Glenn Clark (Dec 11, 2011)

Congrats to everyone who has enjoyed "modest" or in my view "incredible" sales.

QUESTION:  Have you discovered that sales are more likely to increase w/ release of new book in a series?

The other possibility is readers who simply enjoy a writer and look forward to another book.

I'm guessing a good series of books results (we hope) in excellent sales.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> Thank you so much for the recommendation, Kate. I would be honoured to receive the 'Deserves to to better/worse' award - were it not that Mr RAD thinks he's got it in the bag.


Sorry Lindawrites, but I'm pretty much GUARANTEED to get the award. Here's why:


Since December 23, 2010, I've sold exactly 8 10 12 copies of my book (2 at $2.99 and 10 at $0.99 (2 due to sabotage







)). Stupendous!

I've maintained the BBoS across the board (forever known henceforth as the _*Royal Flush*_) for six months in 2011, something I maintained for three straight months at one point. In February and April of 2012, I had them again. Awesome.

All of my sales have been courtesy of Amazon US -- not a single sale from any other Amazon venue. BBoS in all foreign Amazon markets (forever known henceforth as a _*Brownie*_) from Dec. 2010 to Apr. 2012. Regarding Amazon UK (since it's the oldest foreign Kindle Store), I've had the BBoS for my entire 16-month publishing career! That's classified as an official *Turd Year*.  Spectacular!

I joined B&N on the same date in 2010, and guess what? A turd. Not a single sale over there either. As I've sold nothing in 12 14 months over there, that's another Turd Year. But in March, I pulled my book from that great indie-friendly venue to concentrate on Amazon. If included, it would no doubt be 16 months of sale-less success over there. Incredible!

In 16 months of being self-published, I haven't received a single royalty check from any seller. Not. One. Darn. Check. And the book that started it all has received only a single review (I think from my mom, bless her heart) and five Likes. Magnificent!








it and 

Eight Royal Flushes? A Turd Year for all foreign Amazon stores and B&N? Sixteen consecutive Brownies? Not a single royalty check? How can I not win? Unless anyone here can top what I've accomplished, I WILL have that award. So quit trying. Just get comfortable with finishing second or third or whatever.

The glory is all MINE.  Crown me the


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Huge applause for Mr. RAD! I believe you deserve a Gold Star.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

jnfr said:


> Huge applause for Mr. RAD! I believe you deserve a Gold Star.


That's what I'm sayin'.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

You are an inspiration to us all Mr RAD.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> You are an inspiration to us all Mr RAD.


Thank you, Danielle. Your words make me feel good inside.


----------



## BrianKittrell (Jan 8, 2011)

lol I've been trying to succeed, but I've only been succeeding just recently. A few copies a day maybe post Christmas. Before that, I was an utter failure. People were buying between 5 and 20 copies a day. I had tried to stem that failure and become more successful, but it's only just started happening.

My lack of participating in KDP Select has probably contributed to my most recent successes, going from #5,000-ish to a much healthier #15,000-#20,000 in the rankings.

(LOL)


----------



## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

Everyone keep me in their thoughts. I have sold three books on Amazon this month, and I want to make sure I don't sell a fourth in the last few days.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

BrianKittrell said:


> lol I've been trying to succeed, but I've only been succeeding just recently. A few copies a day maybe post Christmas. Before that, I was an utter failure. People were buying between 5 and 20 copies a day. I had tried to stem that failure and become more successful, but it's only just started happening.
> 
> My lack of participating in KDP Select has probably contributed to my most recent successes, going from #5,000-ish to a much healthier #15,000-#20,000 in the rankings.
> 
> (LOL)


I'm currently ranked just below #530,000.


----------



## metaphorassassin (Dec 28, 2011)

Fun thread.  Unfortunately my spankin' new book rocketed out of the gate with a single Kindle sale within a matter of days, sending its ranking skyrocketing to 100,000.  
But do not flay my tender vittles just yet - I'm proud to say I've been trending downward since and can almost see 400,000!  I do admit to an unfair advantage in this realm, 
seeing as I am a poet (one of our superpowers is poor book sales, afterall)!


----------



## Izzy Hammerstein (Jul 6, 2011)

How about a "Working hard despite low numbers" thread?


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

You all know how much you've sold.

I still claim victory for NOT knowing.  

My success is so successful, I don't' look!


----------



## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

> A few copies a day maybe post Christmas.


Copies? Plural? Per day?

Sir, you need to raise your standards.


----------



## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

Oh, I do love this thread!


----------



## P.A. Woodburn (May 22, 2010)

Roshwan Dawson: I am sorry to disgrace thee but I just purchased your book. Your story sucked me in however I do find the old English irritating to read and think that may be why it is not selling. My suggestion rewrite same story, more modern English equals more sales and more disgrace to thee.
Ann


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> You all know how much you've sold.
> 
> I still claim victory for NOT knowing.
> 
> My success is so successful, I don't' look!


Great success. I applaud you, but I don't think you can outdo me. I've got you beat.



Kathelm said:


> Copies? Plural? Per day?
> 
> Sir, you need to raise your standards.


I agree with Kathelm.



P.A. Woodburn said:


> Roshwan Dawson: I am sorry to disgrace thee but I just purchased your book. Your story sucked me in however I do find the old English irritating to read and think that may be why it is not selling. My suggestion rewrite same story, more modern English equals more sales and more disgrace to thee.
> Ann


What? A sale? My story sucked you in? You sabotage my chance at glory?

 CRAP!!!


----------



## BrianKittrell (Jan 8, 2011)

Kathelm said:


> Copies? Plural? Per day?
> 
> Sir, you need to raise your standards.


lol, I know, but I'm an utter failure. With the closing of the Kindle Select free Christmas promotions and the excitement of Prime rentals relaxing slightly, I've hit abysmal levels. It's gone at bad as #9,000-ish, and it's sold over 10 copies today.  I shall endeavor to work harder towards succeeding so as not to disappoint anyone, but it's difficult. I need more factors working against me.


----------



## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

10 copies in a day, Brian? That's over a month's worth, for me. Yesterday, was exactly two months since I published and my grand total stood at 17. I'm really hoping to reach 20 by the end of the year, so I can leave this thread behind and embrace being a total and abject (best-selling) failure. It looks like it is not to be and I shall still be here well iinto the New Year.


----------



## Steve Vernon (Feb 18, 2011)

First off, Iain, I resent you telling me that I have small thumbnails.  Is it my fault that a habitual thumb-sucking, hitch-hiking and digital publishing has reduced my thumb-structure to the realm of the downright pathetic?

Now that the obligatory stand-up comedy is out of the way let's get down to barebones numbers.

In June 2011 I sold a total of 7 copies of DEVIL TREE.
In July I sold 3 copies of DEVIL TREE. 
In September I sold 11 copies.

I peddle my work through an e-publisher - so my tally's are always a couple of months apart. Sometime next week I'll have my October figures.

That's 21 copies in three months. And that's my best selling book.


I figure I ought to run for president of this here SUCCESSFUL INDIE ONLY Kindle Boards Society...

If I could afford to buy a hat I'd throw it into the ring.


----------



## ErikHyrkas (Dec 24, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *Attebery*: Good work on the returns, Mike. Shows class. *I've been cock-a-hoop since having two free books returned.*


I laughed so hard that I cried. I endeavor to join your ranks within the month.

You are so funny. I don't understand how you've obtained your overwhelming success. This thread is so fun. Thank you.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Steve Vernon said:


> ...let's get down to barebones numbers.
> 
> In June 2011 I sold a total of 7 copies of DEVIL TREE.
> In July I sold 3 copies of DEVIL TREE.
> ...


Pretty good, but I'm better. Sold only 9 copies of my book in one full calendar year on Amazon US. Didn't sell a single copy nowhere else.

The presidency is already mine. Sorry.


----------



## BrianKittrell (Jan 8, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> 10 copies in a day, Brian? That's over a month's worth, for me. Yesterday, was exactly two months since I published and my grand total stood at 17. I'm really hoping to reach 20 by the end of the year, so I can leave this thread behind and embrace being a total and abject (best-selling) failure. It looks like it is not to be and I shall still be here well iinto the New Year.


Looking over your product page, that thing is niche. I mean, really niche. People reading your book would be one of the "overlap" groups, if you will: they should like Sci-Fi (high-tec), medieval fantasy, and super powers. It's easy to sell with a combination of two (sci-fi and super powers OR medieval fantasy and super powers), but all three in one book would probably be a tough sell. Just about everyone I know who likes medieval fantasy don't like high-tec, and those I know who like sci-fi don't like low-tech unless it's done in a high-tec way (ala Warhammer 40K).

I doubt I'm the first one to tell you that, so I won't drone on and on about it. That's not to say your book isn't good or even great, it's just hard to find the kind of people who like all three combined in one book. I honestly wouldn't even know where to begin finding them.

Edit to add: If I were you and had the will and time, I would probably try to edit the book down to either sci-fi or fantasy. If you go the fantasy route, you could replace high-tec with magic in interesting ways. If you go sci-fi, you could probably do it a little easier (or it could be harder, you know your book best). Again, just a recommendation to consider since it would probably increase its "commercial fiction score" and thus be more salable.


----------



## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Thanks, Brian. Interesting points. I'll reply tomorrow - so that I don't derail Ian's thread, I'll start a new one.


----------



## Steve Vernon (Feb 18, 2011)

Steve Vernon said:


> First off, Iain, I resent you telling me that I have small thumbnails. Is it my fault that a habitual thumb-sucking, hitch-hiking and digital publishing has reduced my thumb-structure to the realm of the downright pathetic?
> 
> Now that the obligatory stand-up comedy is out of the way let's get down to barebones numbers.
> 
> ...


All right. So I mispelled tallies. So I didn't even get the name of the thread right (Successful Indies Only - rather than Successful Indie Only - what, am I joining the Indiana Jones fan club or what)

Mea Culpa, mea culpa, me Nancy Culpa...


----------



## cecilia_writer (Dec 28, 2010)

[sidles in trying to look small so nobody sees me]
After starting really well earlier this year I'm afraid I am now, temporarily I think, a bit of a failure, to the extent that I actually received a cheque from Amazon UK in the post this morning.

I attribute this whole fiasco to having the first one of a series go free, so you've all been warned! For goodness' sake don't follow my example.

Apart from that, Happy New Year to everyone in this inspiring thread!
But tomorrow is another year so I will try and do better then. I have high hopes...

[darts out again as quickly as possible]


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*anne_holly*: Nice idea, Anne. I like it. But you know what happens when you try to wrap fish in an ebook, don't you?

*Skate*: Tell me, Katie, what exactly do you understand by the word "banned"?... Oh well, since you express contrition, I'm prepared to relent. BUT THERE WILL BE NO SECOND CHANCES.

*DouglasGlennClark*: Bad attitude, Douglas. You're banned.

*Mr. RAD*: I echo Jennifer and Danielle. My hero, Roshawn, my hero. For reasons of brevity, I don't quote in my posts, but those who have not already done so should read Reply #171. And rest assured that the shameful purchase made by P.A. Woodburn (see below) will not count against you.

*BrianKittrell*: Thank you, Brian. You're never going to hit the high spots, but your attitude is exemplary. There is no shame in failure, provided only that one has tried.

*R. M. Reed*: You are in my prayers, Robin... Unfortunately, I am an atheist.

*metaphorassassin*: You're a contender, Thomas, no doubt about it. There's no restriction as to genre here, so poetry is fine. You'll give Roshawn a run for his money yet.

*Morgan Gallagher*: I'm with you, Morgan: I too have given up looking. Fact is, I'm digitally challenged, and the last time I tried to check my figures, it was all too much for me. All to do with "Last six weeks", isn't it, and months, and er... spreadsheets and so on. Search me.

*Kathelm*: Not entirely fair, Steve. Brian knows he's not a star performer, but at least he's trying. He needs encouragement, not scorn.

*P. A. Woodburn*: _You bought a copy of Roshawn's book?_ I thought no one would stoop so low. The rule is that no one may buy, or encourage others to buy, a copy of any book by any competitor. Ignorance of this rule is no excuse. You are not only banned, but outlawed. This means that any contributor to this thread may shoot you on sight, and anyone who can produce proof of having done so will have ten sales removed from his or her total. (For what it's worth, I'm sure you're right about the archaic language, but Roshawn is fully entitled to employ sales disincentives.)

*Lyndawrites*: You're not going anywhere, Lynda. This thread is the black hole of literary failure, and you're being sucked in and spaghettified like the rest of us.

*Steve Vernon*: Good work, Steve, and don't worry about the thumbnails. You may not win the crown, but you deserve respect.

*Lurker*: Success, believe me, is not hard to achieve. Avoid Young Adult, eschew vampires, and vomit copiously at the very mention of the word "marketing". Anyone who follows these simple rules is guaranteed at least a measure of success.

*BrianKittrell*: (I thought it best to deal with your second post separately.) Brian, advising others on how to sell books is a mean trick. I'll let it pass this time, but it mustn't happen again.

*cecilia_writer*: Cecilia, your embarrassment is understandable. But yes, freebies are risky. I hope others will learn from your example. Would you feel better if you donated that cheque to charity?


----------



## Rick Gualtieri (Oct 31, 2011)

Awesome thread!

I know I had it made last month when Amazon paid out their royalties and I announced to the family, "Alright!  We're all going to Applebees...except for you (oldest son), I didn't make enough to bring you.  You need to stay in the car."


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Dang.  

I sold a paperback today, through my own Amazon store.

Sorry everyone, I hate failure.

Are you sure _one_  counts?

:-/


----------



## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

> Are you sure _one_ counts?


Just try not to make a habit out of it.


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## BrianKittrell (Jan 8, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> ...
> 
> *BrianKittrell*: Thank you, Brian. You're never going to hit the high spots, but your attitude is exemplary. There is no shame in failure, provided only that one has tried.
> 
> ...


lol! I apologize for my nasty ways, sabotaging Lynda so clearly. It shant happen again.


----------



## Shiromi (Jul 5, 2011)

What a fun thread, and you're right, a good idea. I constantly get these emails from family with stories about the Amanda Hocking's of the self-pub industry. I know they're being supportive, but it's nice to hear about the slightly more realistic success stories.  As for my success story, I have two short stories published in just under six months and I have sold a grand total of 47 copies. Nov/Dec appear to be my best months, which may just be because of the holidays, but I'm feeling optimistic.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Rick Gualtieri said:


> Awesome thread!
> 
> I know I had it made last month when Amazon paid out their royalties and I announced to the family, "Alright! We're all going to Applebees...except for you (oldest son), I didn't make enough to bring you. You need to stay in the car."


 



Shiromi said:


> What a fun thread, and you're right, a good idea. I constantly get these emails from family with stories about the Amanda Hocking's of the self-pub industry. I know they're being supportive, but it's nice to hear about the slightly more realistic success stories.  As for my success story, I have two short stories published in just under six months and I have sold a grand total of 47 copies. Nov/Dec appear to be my best months, which may just be because of the holidays, but I'm feeling optimistic.


Forty-seven copies? I don't think you're qualified to be in this thread. *Only successful failures are allowed.*


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## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

> Skate: Tell me, Katie, what exactly do you understand by the word "banned"?... Oh well, since you express contrition, I'm prepared to relent. BUT THERE WILL BE NO SECOND CHANCES.


I'll be good from now on, I promise.


----------



## Steve Vernon (Feb 18, 2011)

Okay - so this is a new year and I better set the record straight. I am already self-sabotaging my standing in this here successful failure club.

I've been hunting up book reviewers left and right and right down the left hand side of the middle of creation - in a blatant attempt to raise the good side of my literary profile - (which is the left side, if you need to know) - and hopefully sell a few more copies.

I mean, that's a strategy, isn't it? It's important to have a strategy if you are attempting anything in life. Like two summers back when I climbed up onto the roof of my house intending to patch up my sorrily-leaking roof I had a strategy - which didn't help when I forgot to let go of the bucket tar that I was throwing off of the roof before I hit the ground and realized that my lawn needed mowing - and de-bloodifying...

So that's my new years resolution. To maintain my strategy and raise up my literary profile - the left side - and sell about a billion and a half copies - none of them free - and to finally once and for all fail penulitmately at any attempt at becoming a successful failure!

PS: This all made sense in my head before I let my fingers and keyboard get in the way of my thinking...


----------



## Archer (Apr 25, 2009)

You are ALL awesome. I am not worthy...

This thread reminds me of how valuable and endearing a tool a sense of humor can be.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

It's not my fault. It just cannot be my fault. I didn't advertise, I didn't even suggest to friends. The owner of my publishing press has even been writing vinegar-ed blog posts, somewhat prickly in nature.

BUT FOUR SALES HAPPENED ANYWAY.

But there have been no new reviews. Perhaps, perhaps that makes it not so very bad? Perhaps I do not have to leave. I mean, I can blame it on the Christmas rush, the uhm, boredom. Oh, or a frivolous, just-got-a-kindle indiscriminate buying spree.

Surely, surely this cannot be a trend. Absolutely not! I am certain my writing has not bewitched a few fans, has not spread from here to there via word of mouth.

You all must forgive me -- it's not my fault.


----------



## JodyWallace (Mar 29, 2011)

Forgive me, successful failures, for I have sinned. I confess that right now one of my books has a sales ranking that is....less than six figures. I think it's in the 60,000's. Can I get a pass since I have several books that have seven figure rankings? Surely it averages out to one big suck?


----------



## Lanie Jordan (Feb 23, 2011)

I'm back on top again, being my usual successful self. I have the BBoS across the board. I did, however, somehow manage to have a 5-digit ranking for a few hours, though I'm sure it was a fluke since I haven't sold anything from Amazon in a bit. 

But the BBoS's keeps me a success, right? I've worked hard for that and I don't want a silly--now-6-digit--ranking to ruin it.


----------



## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

What do I win when those books I have balancing on the 700,000 precipice fall over... er under?


----------



## adamelijah (Nov 16, 2010)

Did 238 Sales all year across 6 e-books.


----------



## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

I just counted my totals.  I had 42 sales on Amazon across two books last year (I released the second book in August).

I had a little less success with free downloads.  I had an appalling 2718 of those, though they fortunately did not impugn my honor by adding to my bank account.


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

I have provisionally returned, with a tale of such unmitigated success that it can be described as nothing less than 'dazzling'.

I have had, since the beginning of this new year, a single spot of activity on my KDP page.

It's a return.

This puts my total sales for both January _and 2012_ at -1.

Beat THAT.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Ben, success stories like yours only happen once a year. Thank you for sharing.


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## Kellyfisher319 (Dec 9, 2011)

Does it count if I am offering my newest book for free and it has only been downloaded 31 times today? I can hardly give it away.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Kellyfisher319 said:


> Does it count if I am offering my newest book for free and it has only been downloaded 31 times today? I can hardly give it away.


Yes. Any movement of merchandise, paid or not, is taken quite seriously.

Ben -- that, that is achievement.


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## Kellyfisher319 (Dec 9, 2011)

EStoops said:


> Yes. Any movement of merchandise, paid or not, is taken quite seriously.
> 
> Ben -- that, that is achievement.


Dang it!


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Ben White said:


> I have provisionally returned, with a tale of such unmitigated success that it can be described as nothing less than 'dazzling'.
> 
> I have had, since the beginning of this new year, a single spot of activity on my KDP page.
> 
> ...


Nice, Ben. However, I still have the Royal Flush (BBoS at all Amazon venues). That trumps your return.


----------



## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

After my most successful run ever - 4 sales in the UK between Dec. 25th and 31st (and nothing elsewhere, natch) I am happy to report a Royal Flush across all boards, too.

@Brian Kittrell - do your earlier comments still hold if I point out that it's a children's book? (And sorry if asking for advice contravenes the rules of this thread)


----------



## BrianKittrell (Jan 8, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> @Brian Kittrell - do your earlier comments still hold if I point out that it's a children's book? (And sorry if asking for advice contravenes the rules of this thread)


Hmmm. Children's books can be different, and they, too, are a hard sell. Really hard. Combine fantasy, sci-fi, and a children's book all in one title, and I fear that it would be near impossible to sell. It could take off, but it'd be one that traditional pubs would pass on every time because of the difficulty of having all three in one book. Using that just as a point of reference because trads are not always correct in their thinking, but I would agree with any of them who would say the above.

Send me a PM (or start that new thread if you like) if you want to talk about it some more. I wouldn't want to derail the thread.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Actually, if Ben has a royal flush, save the one return, I think that's a better "hand" than the royal flush. He has a negative flush..


----------



## Beatriz (Feb 22, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> I'm sick of all these stories from people who sell a few tens (or maybe hundreds) of thousands of copies every year (or day, or minute, or something).
> 
> Let's celebrate some _real_ success. I fear that my one conventionally-published book may buck the trend a little, but in seven months, my three self-published titles have sold . . . [roll of drums] . . . _*54 copies*_!
> 
> ...


Thank you for a more realistic post. Sometimes I think people like to brag about their sales and exaggerate like crazy when the real truth is that with so many books out there flooding the system, not many of us sell one hell of a lot. After all, I could claim 100,000 copies sold too. Who's going to check up on me?


----------



## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

All your good wishes worked out for me in December, I sold three books on Amazon all  month. I'm getting off to a bad start in January, though, I have sold two in the first three days.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

R. M. Reed said:


> I'm getting off to a bad start in January, though, I have sold two in the first three days.


That can't be good. Hope things turn around fast.


----------



## Bob Mayer (Feb 20, 2011)

It's a marathon, not a sprint.
347 copies in January 2011 on Kindle.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Bob Mayer said:


> It's a marathon, not a sprint.
> 347 copies in January 2011 on Kindle.


Ah, Bob, need I remind you that this is a successful failure thread?  I think your membership was revoked long ago.


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Yeah, I think Bob's right out of here.


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## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

I'm running a marathon. But don't marathons occasionally run uphill, instead of always downhill?


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

Happy New Year, failures!

First off, I want you all to know that I'm suffering from swine flu, and am so weak that I keep falling off my chair as I write. I am also delirious, which explains anything I say that doesn't make sense... Except, come to think of it, that it doesn't. Never mind.

*Rick Gualtieri*: To compete in this thread, you shouldn't be making _any_ royalties. You're banned.

*Morgan Gallagher*: That's tough, Morgan. Hard-copy sales count triple. As Steve (Kathelm) says, don't make it a habit.

*Shiromi*: I think Roshawn (Mr. RAD) is being a little hard on you. Forty-seven copies of two short stories over six months isn't exactly stellar, but it's a respectable performance. And those figures may yet come down. I have my eye on you.

*Steve Vernon*: Good work on the roof and lawn, Steve. You sound demented, which bodes well for your future. With any luck, the marketing strategies will go the way of the tar bucket. Stay with us.

*EStoops*: Bad luck, we all feel for you. Try to think of anything that might have encouraged people to buy your work, and try not to do it again. Keep us posted.

*JodyWallace*: _In the 60,000s??_ Not good, Jody, not good. However well your other books are not selling, this is shameful. You're not permitted to withdraw a book that's selling, so you're going to have to think of some interesting strategies if you want to stay in the race. That figure needs to go way up.

*Lanie Jordan*: All right, Lanie, thank you for your honesty. You are doing well on the whole, but five-figure rankings are not acceptable. See that it doesn't happen again.

*anne_holly*: Don't be so mercenary, Anne. The glory of failure is the reward.

*adamelijah*: Good work, Adam. You're averaging rather more than three sales per book per month. But there's always room for improvement. Stay at it.

*Kathelm*: Oh yes. An average of fewer than 2.5 sales per book per month is admirable. Nobody's going to push you around, Steve, not even Roshawn (Mr. RAD).

*Ben White*: Splendid, my boy, splendid! A minus figure for the whole of 2012 is awesome. (I keep thinking there's something I'm missing here, but I'm too ill to work out what it is.)

*Kellyfisher319*: EStoops is quite wrong, Kelly, freebies don't count. I have accidentally given away thousands of books (two of which have been returned). Only sales count against you.

*Mr. RAD*: Well done on the BBoS Royal Flush, Roshawn. No more than I would expect of you. I'm not entirely sure that your performance does beat Ben's, but we'll see how things pan out.

*Lyndawrites*: Nice, Lynda, you've started the New Year as you mean to continue. (And asking Brian for clarification is quite in order.)

*BrianKittrell*: Brian, if I haven't already banned you (I'm too ill to remember) I'm banning you now. Lynda merely seeks clarification of something you said earlier, and you respond with a barely-disguised attempt to encourage her to sell more books. Disgraceful.

*Beatriz*: Beatrice, you are a cynic. So am I. (Don't tell anybody, but I fear that people may even exaggerate their failure on a thread as virtuous as this. Tell me it ain't so...)

*R. M. Reed*: Ouch. Quite a disappointment after a fine effort in December. But you're a loser, Robin, I just know you are. Keep the faith.

*Bob Mayer*: Disgraceful, Bob, disgraceful. Roshawn (Mr. RAD) and Jennifer (jnfr) are right. You're banned.

I am now going back to bed to continue my illness.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Always nice hearing from you Iain.

You're right that Ben White's activity in the early days of this new year is pretty hard to beat. Who gets -1 sales?  But I still think I have him beat by virtue of a Royal Flush.

Get well soon.


----------



## JodyWallace (Mar 29, 2011)

> After all, I could claim 100,000 copies sold too. Who's going to check up on me?


Lots of people who want to know how you did it, actually *heh*

As for my update, I believe I'm back in six figure land today! So whatever I did since Jan 1, apparently it's working to tank my sale of 2 books. I wish I could share how I achieved this stellar lack of success, but it could be any number of little things adding up to one big huge sales ranking.


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

Bob Mayer said:


> It's a marathon, not a sprint.
> 347 copies in January 2011 on Kindle.


_*hissssssss*_


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Sadly, my perfection was ruined yesterday with a sale. I only have five BBoSes.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Get well soon. Without your support we will DOUBTLESS go astray.

In fact, I already have.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

EStoops said:


> Get well soon. Without your support we will DOUBTLESS go astray.
> 
> In fact, I already have.


Explanation, please.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> Explanation, please.


*resists interrogation by chewing through own wrist.*


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

EStoops said:


> *resists interrogation by chewing through own wrist.*


----------



## Mike Dennis (Apr 26, 2010)

Bob Mayer said:


> It's a marathon, not a sprint.
> 347 copies in January 2011 on Kindle.


Bob--I've seen this quote from you on numerous occasions. Would you mind posting your sales figures from your first twelve months of Kindle/indie publication?


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

"It's a marathon, not a sprint."

For me it's a gentle stroll where I get lost a lot.


----------



## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

Nothing's moving anywhere. It would be nice if Amazon would add some ambient cricket music to soothe me when I visit my profile, don't you think?


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## Steve Vernon (Feb 18, 2011)

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

My sales figures continue to creep upwards.

Remember... in June 2011 I sold a total of 7 copies of DEVIL TREE.
In July I sold 3 copies of DEVIL TREE. 
In September I sold 11 copies.

I just recieved my October figures and I sold 15 copies of DEVIL TREE. 

I am failing at failing. A failed failure, paling in the eyes of my ailing failing comrades. 

Worse yet, with the sales of my new audio book I made over a hundred dollars - breaking out of the two digit monthly checks and into the three digit for the very first time. 

I think you ought to throw me into a pit and cast stones at me.

Or better yet you ought to each buy a book of mine. This will hurt more than anything. Each sale will drive further and further away from the tribe of the successfully failed kindle-writers. Each kaching will surely pummel my spirit like the slings and arrows of an outrageous fortune...

Smite me, oh sad destiny.    

(I'm probably not fooling any of you, am I?  )


----------



## MGalloway (Jun 21, 2011)

Don't worry, Steve. The rest of us will pick up the slack.  

Case in point: I recently did a KDP-select free promotion on one of my books several days ago. 500+ downloads. Only one actual sale since.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Steve Vernon said:


> Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
> 
> My sales figures continue to creep upwards.
> 
> ...


Disgraceful, Steve. Disgraceful.


----------



## KirbyTails (Jan 4, 2012)

Zero sold so far, but...I only put them up within the last few days.


BUT BUT BUT there's hope. I've had three people on Reddit show interest based on the description!


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Wait a few more days. I am sure by then their interest in your book will have passed. If not, send them a funny video. That will do it. Hope you can keep those BBoSes intact all year long.


----------



## Shiromi (Jul 5, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> Happy New Year, failures!
> 
> First off, I want you all to know that I'm suffering from swine flu, and am so weak that I keep falling off my chair as I write. I am also delirious, which explains anything I say that doesn't make sense... Except, come to think of it, that it doesn't. Never mind.
> *Shiromi*: I think Roshawn (Mr. RAD) is being a little hard on you. Forty-seven copies of two short stories over six months isn't exactly stellar, but it's a respectable performance. And those figures may yet come down. I have my eye on you.


 And boy those figures have gone down. One copy sold in six days. Woo hoo!!


----------



## Steve Vernon (Feb 18, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Wait a few more days. I am sure by then their interest in your book will have passed. If not, send them a funny video. That will do it. Hope you can keep those BBoSes intact all year long.


A funny video - or a picture of a talking cat from I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER?


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Yes, anything with a cat. Those have proven to be effective at confusing people.


----------



## ErikHyrkas (Dec 24, 2011)

Still my favorite thread of all time.  I'm inspired by the courage and tenacity of the writers who post on this thread.  You guys are great!


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Since I'm such a successful failure, I hardly ever check my KDP stats. No need. But I checked today so I can provide an update to all interested parties.

Good news people. Nothing's changed. Call me a king because I have a Royal Flush (see post #171 for details), and I still have the BBoS at B&N going on 13 consecutive months.

But you don't have to praise me for such unparalleled success. I know I'm good.


----------



## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

Ugh.  I got a sale at Barnes and Noble.  I guess I'd better sign up for Kindle Select so that doesn't happen again.


----------



## KirbyTails (Jan 4, 2012)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Wait a few more days. I am sure by then their interest in your book will have passed. If not, send them a funny video. That will do it. Hope you can keep those BBoSes intact all year long.


None of those "promised" sales have happened. Which is weird, because one of them actually sent a personal, private message asking about it. It wasn't just a comment reply, but a personal message. I have no idea who the guy even was.

Anyways, I found something that y'all might find interesting. Dean Wesley Smith did a post called "The Big Hurry" where it taked about how much money an indie writer could make, etc. Yeah, he uses the figure of churning out a new book every six months, which may be realistic for some of you, but not for somebody like me, who's life does not revolve around writing, yada yada yada. Anyways, I thought this seemed like a good place to post it. It at least gave me some hope.

http://www.deanwesleysmith.com/?p=6033


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Hi all

I haven't visited this thread since a couple of weeks before Christmas and I'm happy to say that I still belong here   The sales I used to get between Christmas and New Years weren't there this year. But at least I've managed not to get the flu, so it's all good.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Kathelm said:


> Ugh. I got a sale at Barnes and Noble. I guess I'd better sign up for Kindle Select so that doesn't happen again.


If you sign up for KDP Select, you just might gain more sales. We certainly don't want that.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Sign up for Kobo Select. Lol


----------



## A. Rosaria (Sep 12, 2010)

I sold 2 books this year!  I even gave 10 away.

Last year January I sold none, that means this January I've an +2 increase in sales. This is called improvement, steadily gaining more sales. 2013 will be +2 again, maybe.


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*JodyWallace*: That's good to know, Jody, because five-figure sales rankings just aren't acceptable. Not much fear of getting that external hard drive repaired yet awhile.

*Danielle Kazemi*: Commiserations on the sale, Danielle. But there are rogue buyers out there, people over whom we have no control, and the odd sale here and there is inevitable. Bad luck, though. I don't know anything about Kobo Select, but assume that it's Kobo's answer to KDP Select. Let us know how it goes.

*EStoops*: Gone astray, have you? Come on, out with it. Roshawn has asked, now I'm asking. _You've been selling books, haven't you?_ And you can stop the wrist-chewing right now. We have ways of making you tank.

*Steve Vernon*: You disgust me, Steve, as you disgust all decent people. Roshawn has said it: disgraceful. The grovelling will get you nowhere. You're banned.

*Shiromi*: Nice work, Shiromi. We can all take encouragement. Unless sales get completely out of hand, there's always hope that they'll dry up.

*Mr. RAD*: Roshawn, what can I say that I haven't said already? You are to Dan Brown as Mother Teresa is to Genghis Khan.

*Kathelm*: As Roshawn implies, Steve, the KDP Select issue is complex. I signed up when I discovered that some idiot at Smashwords had bought one of my efforts. He won't be doing _that _ again. But could the cure be worse than the disease? Time will tell, but in the meantime, I might inform all contestants that just as hard-copy sales count triple, so KDP Select borrowings count half. Let's all keep an eye on KDPS, and see if it's worth it.

*KirbyTails*: A great relief, KT, and you didn't even have to implement the helpful suggestions of Danielle and Steve Vernon (now banned and languishing in outer darkness).

*Debra Purdy Kong*: Good to know you're still with us, Debra. And don't bother with the flu. It's a pig, believe me, and you can perfectly well keep your sales figures down without it.

*A. Rosaria*: Glad to have you with us. You sound like a real contender. I don't think that a sales increase of two over last January is statistically significant. Give it another month or two before you get concerned.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Iain, I had three sales happen. A few friends went and bought my book, I'm sure they meant the best. 

with friends like these......


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## MGalloway (Jun 21, 2011)

Sadly, I must report I just got the rough draft done on another book. This time I've decided to diversify...into non-fiction.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

KDPS, I have to tell you, does not lead to the Beige Bar of Success -- no borrowings so far, though I do think it makes a book more visible -- but it doesn't appear to cause too much damage until you set a book free for a weekend. I'll report back later, let you know if this is only a temporary problem, or if a free weekend leads to a month of shame.

And, before I am asked (belligerently) to explain why I thought a free weekend was any kind of acceptable idea, I have some unique mental contortions to share with you; how can we possible call ourselves successful failures until we've really worked every avenue? Did the infantry in WWI go over once, retreat like bats out of hell and declare failure? No. They hadn't failed until all avenues were thoroughly investigated and nearly everyone was dead. this is the sort of success we really need to strive for. All of us. So ask for reviews -- bambi eye your family, friends, neighbors and coworkers. We need to know just how low we can go.

And really, everyone that has taken the risk of extreme shame, everyone that has maneuvered to make a sale -- we should thank them. They are the heroes in this battle, taking heat for us all. None of this lazy failure stuff. We're better than that.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Finished the first week of 2012 with a Royal Flush. You needn't say a word, y'all. I know you're all proud of me.



EStoops said:


> ... I have some unique mental contortions to share with you; how can we possible call ourselves successful failures until we've really worked every avenue? Did the infantry in WWI go over once, retreat like bats out of hell and declare failure? No. They hadn't failed until all avenues were thoroughly investigated and nearly everyone was dead. this is the sort of success we really need to strive for. All of us. So ask for reviews -- bambi eye your family, friends, neighbors and coworkers. We need to know just how low we can go.
> 
> And really, everyone that has taken the risk of extreme shame, everyone that has maneuvered to make a sale -- we should thank them. They are the heroes in this battle, taking heat for us all. None of this lazy failure stuff. We're better than that.


You make a valid point, EStoops. Perhaps I'll give KDP Select a try. Reworking my blurb is also a consideration. Heck, I think I'll even raise the price of my book to $3 to escape the so-called stigma associated with $0.99 books.

Leave no stone unturned. We should go all out to become the best successful failures we can be.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Rad, I recommend the following:

Book Price: 1.99.
Enrolled in KDPS: Yes
Reviews: Several seems to be key, at least one. If you don't have any you may need to beg a friend to give you  a particularly bland 4 star.
Free Promotion Weekend: Yes.

This appears to be the likeliest way to garner readers at this time, that I've run across. I recommend you try that, and if you don't get a few sales, then you can really wear that failure crown with some serious pride.


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## KirbyTails (Jan 4, 2012)

So, I put my story, "The Dowry", up for free yesterday. "Sold", I think 741 copies. That number is up to 744 now. Does that mean I actually sold some? Actually, that might not be a good thing...

Meanwhile, "Family History: Part 1" is free today. It hasn't done as well as The Dowry, and though I have an idea as to why, it's still a little disappointing, since more blood, sweat, and tears went into that book than the other one.

I plan on putting FH Part 2 up on amazon, too. However, I told myself that FH 1 must _sell_ AT LEAST a single copy first. Even if that copy is from my boyfriend or mom or something.

So yeah. That's where I'm at. Yay for success!


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

744? That sounds like it could lead to some very unfortunate sales values later in the month. Report back -- we'll need to know if, should we set our books to free, that we will need to take mitigating measures to guarantee BBOSes afterward.


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## Lanie Jordan (Feb 23, 2011)

I'm still holding strong. I refuse to give up my pretty BBoS's without a fight. *growls at potential buyers*


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

I'd like to report that despite a nice jump in free copies, and a swift climb up a best 'seller' list, I appear to be leveling off, even sinking back toward to coveted Beige Bar of Success. No new reviews, positive or negative had made a showing since my last report. I can comfortably say that KDPS does not appear to negatively impact our membership in Mr. Iain's club. Rest assured that if you join KDPS, we'll still have a cigar and scotch waiting for you.


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## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

I just got up to find my B & N Ranking at 99,999,999. That has to be good, doesn't it?


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Skate said:


> I just got up to find my B & N Ranking at 99,999,999. That has to be good, doesn't it?


Perfect! Congratulations!


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## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

*blushes...bows*

Thank you, thank you! I never thought it could be this good.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

EStoops said:


> I'd like to report that despite a nice jump in free copies, and a swift climb up a best 'seller' list, I appear to be leveling off, even sinking back toward to coveted Beige Bar of Success. No new reviews, positive or negative had made a showing since my last report. I can comfortably say that KDPS does not appear to negatively impact our membership in Mr. Iain's club. Rest assured that if you join KDPS, we'll still have a cigar and scotch waiting for you.


Good job, EStoops.



Lanie Jordan said:


> I'm still holding strong. I refuse to give up my pretty BBoS's without a fight. *growls at potential buyers*


Be mean, Lanie. Be mean. 



Skate said:


> I just got up to find my B & N Ranking at 99,999,999. That has to be good, doesn't it?


Pure awesomeness!! 

But where do you find your book's ranking on B&N? I can't find mine anywhere.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

No ranking means no sales. I have four like that. But sadly today I failed miserably overseas. Still failing successfully at home though. Beware going free.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> No ranking means no sales.


Oh. That means I'm doing absolutely fantastic! Yeah!!!!!


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## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

Should have known I couldn't top you, Mr. RAD! I bow to your awesomeness!


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Skate said:


> Should have known I couldn't top you, Mr. RAD! I bow to your awesomeness!


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## JRPenstroke (Jan 10, 2012)

I can top all of you, but my methodology would likely be considered cheating.

My book just hit the Kindle store last night.

Total Sales: 0

Of course. (Really not expecting it to fly off the shelves or anything. I'd be happy with one or two sales a month =))

That reminds me--I need to call my mom so I can get my first sale!

[p.s. PM me if you want a free copy.]


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

JRPenstroke said:


> I can top all of you, but my methodology would likely be considered cheating.
> 
> My book just hit the Kindle store last night.
> 
> ...


Sorry, but that's nothing compared to me.


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## JRHenderson (Dec 4, 2011)

anne_holly said:


> Nothing's moving anywhere. It would be nice if Amazon would add some ambient cricket music to soothe me when I visit my profile, don't you think?


Yeah, or at least provide an appropriate background image...












Iain Manson said:


> *EStoops*: Gone astray, have you? Come on, out with it. Roshawn has asked, now I'm asking. _You've been selling books, haven't you?_


Thank you, Iain. I can't ever remember the use of italics making me laugh quite as much as that did.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

I want to make you all aware of a nice little fact -- when you Free, you are ranked ONLY in relation to other Free Books. That is, you can become a big fish in a little pond. However, when you go back to being a pay book, you are compared to all other pay books. That is to say, you go right back to where you were.

ETA: I have found that there is a VERY, VERY dangerous side effect to being free. People over on goodreads mark you as "to read." That could result in reviews. However, out of 400 downloads, only 4 people chose to mark my book this way. Only time will tell how much damage might be done if they ALL review it.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

JRHenderson said:


> Yeah, or at least provide an appropriate background image...


That's a beautiful, peaceful image JRHenderson. Thanks for sharing. 



EStoops said:


> I want to make you all aware of a nice little fact -- when you Free, you are ranked ONLY in relation to other Free Books. That is, you can become a big fish in a little pond. However, when you go back to being a pay book, you are compared to all other pay books. That is to say, you go right back to where you were.
> 
> ETA: I have found that there is a VERY, VERY dangerous side effect to being free. People over on goodreads mark you as "to read." That could result in reviews. However, out of 400 downloads, only 4 people chose to mark my book this way. Only time will tell how much damage might be done if they ALL review it.


Great info about the Free effect, EStoops. That means if I managed to acquire a 4-digit rank or less by going free, I'd return to my upper 6-digit rank in no time. I wouldn't miss a beat.

As for the Goodreads thing, that would definitely ruin me.


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## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

JRHenderson said:


> Yeah, or at least provide an appropriate background image...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yes, that looks just about right.


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## Steve Vernon (Feb 18, 2011)

I feel as if I've walked into an AA meeting reeking of cheap gin and pig sweat.

In my blatant attempt to sell I have even stooped to holding a Friday the 13th Giveaway - all in the name of selling a few more books.

I wear my shame like a sun-faded moth-eaten polyester suit.


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## Lanie Jordan (Feb 23, 2011)

I've failed. Despite my threats and constant growling ways, someone bought a book from me today on Amazon. *shakes head sadly*

I held my streak for 17 days strong. But! I've got the other 5 BBoS to keep trying to, well, keep...


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Steve Vernon said:


> I feel as if I've walked into an AA meeting reeking of cheap gin and pig sweat.
> 
> In my blatant attempt to sell I have even stooped to holding a Friday the 13th Giveaway - all in the name of selling a few more books.
> 
> I wear my shame like a sun-faded moth-eaten polyester suit.


Now now, don't shed tears. We all have these little setbacks.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Lanie Jordan said:


> I've failed. Despite my threats and constant growling ways, someone bought a book from me today on Amazon. *shakes head sadly*
> 
> I held my streak for 17 days strong. But! I've got the other 5 BBoS to keep trying to, well, keep...


Hey, we all fail now and again. We're sure you'll get back to form in no time.


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*EStoops*: You're right, dammit, you're right. Yes, we should all push our work like crazy. I've said before that it's not frowned on, but now I think it should be compulsory. There remain lengths to which no competitor is expected to go: no one need review his or her own work, no one need buy reviews, but everything else is good. And thanks for the warning about Goodreads. All competitors please take note.

*MGalloway*: You've got guts, Michael, I'll say that. Nonfiction is dangerous, because you never know who might share your interests. But we're all behind you. You can do it.

*Lanie Jordan*: Great attitude, Lanie. Keep those teeth bared. Bad luck on the sale, but, as I've said before, there are rogue book buyers out there, and every now and again one will get through despite our best efforts.

*Skate*: You're a star, Katie, and one of some brightness and magnitude.

*Danielle Kazemi*: You're up there, Danielle, no doubt about it. Bad luck on the overseas sales, but you know what foreigners are.

*J.R. Penstroke*: I trust you're not being flippant, J.R. This is a serious thread, you know.

*JRHenderson*: Thank you, JR, for a most appropriate image. I thought at first that the blue sky perhaps strikes a bum note. But on reflection, it's just right: discord in the midst of harmony; hopelessness in the midst of promise, ugliness in the midst of beauty... Yes, that's us all right.

*Mr. RAD*: [Bows]

*Steve Vernon*: Didn't I ban you? Why does nobody ever listen to me? But on second thoughts, Roshawn and EStoops are right, I need to be a little more forgiving. So from now on, this will be a kinder, gentler thread. Stay with us, Steve. We feel for you, and as long as you're honest about your failings, we'll support you.


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

I think that's a lovely attitude Iain. We need to be a bit more comforting to the failures among us. After all, we're all only human and it's easy to fall into the trap of actually trying to sell books.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

I have some good news to report to the thread regarding my recent efforts at failing marvelously with KDPS.

Two sales. After 400 downloads, I got less that 1% sales.

I suspect that's worth more than that negative flush in this game of failure poker.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Ah but watch out EStoops. Some reprecussions happen on the sly. Readers are a sneaky bunch, finding other ways to sabotage your success without increasing sales. I had two people daring to discuss in anticipation my next book. The gall of some people!


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Ah but watch out EStoops. Some reprecussions happen on the sly. Readers are a sneaky bunch, finding other ways to sabotage your success without increasing sales. I had two people daring to discuss in anticipation my next book. The gall of some people!


Well blast.... I hadn't thought of that.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Going to finish the second week of January 2012 with a Royal Flush. My ranking is slowly but surely approaching #500,000 again (no thanks to P.A. Woodburn - see post #184 on page 8 of this thread for details). And my turd for B&N still exists as well.

Right now, I'm reworking my book and considering a cover change and price raise. Kindle Select might be in my future as well. Gotta do what I gotta do to stay at the bottom of the bottom and be the envy of my fellow authors in this thread.

If you've made a sale this month, don't even think about being anointed. I am STILL the KING!


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Steve Vernon said:


> I feel as if I've walked into an AA meeting reeking of cheap gin and pig sweat.


Oi! I'll have you know this is high end own brand gin, pretending to be posher than it is!

And that is no way to talk to a lady!


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## TexasGirl (Dec 21, 2011)

I have an excellent success story.

In September I published a little book of reprinted humor essays from publications no one has heard of, like The Writer magazine.

Sept sales - 1 (I bought it to make sure all looked right.)

In October I was speaking at this big conference and thought--I'll mention my book and sell loads!

I forgot to mention it.

Oct. sales - 0
Nov. sales - 0

Then came Kindle Select! I put it in there and thought--everyone will download it when it is free and then their crazy good reviews will make people pay for it later!

Dec. free downloads - 114
Dec. sales - 0

In fact, I had two RETURNS! Bonus!

Jan. sales - 1 (I have no idea who wrecked my streak. I suspect someone on the Kindle Boards is trying to subvert my progress.)

Thank you for a great thread and laugh!


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## KirbyTails (Jan 4, 2012)

TexasGirl said:


> I have an excellent success story.
> 
> In September I published a little book of reprinted humor essays from publications no one has heard of, like The Writer magazine.
> 
> ...


I've had 3 returns on my book.

I Think I'm going to try something different an put up the first chapter of my project, and just make it perpetually free. That might do...something.


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## Feenix (Jan 14, 2012)

Hello!

Betrovia has been on amazon since July and I've sold more paperbacks out of my briefcase (close to 60) than via amazon.com.

Dave King

Betrovia
http://www.amazon.com/Betrovia-first-three-Land/dp/1463757514/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1315424558&sr=1-2

\


Iain Manson said:


> I'm sick of all these stories from people who sell a few tens (or maybe hundreds) of thousands of copies every year (or day, or minute, or something).
> 
> Let's celebrate some _real_ success. I fear that my one conventionally-published book may buck the trend a little, but in seven months, my three self-published titles have sold . . . [roll of drums] . . . _*54 copies*_!
> 
> ...


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Well, I don't know how this happened, because I didn't promote it, I swear, but someone bought a print copy of my first mystery, Taxed to Death. A new copy! Not even a used one. I haven't sold a single ebook yet this year, though, so can I still stay?

By the way, the print book was my only copy available on amazon.com, so the new message is that I'm temporarily out of stock. Amazon hasn't asked for more, and I haven't offered.

Debra
P.S. Love the image of those old, abandoned wrecks!! You made my day.


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## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

I got my first sale on Amazon in a month, somehow. But it was the cheapest one I offer, so hopefully you will all forgive me this one slip. I am sure I won't repeat it again any time soon. 

I'll do better, or worse, I promise.


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

I do think we need some special award for those who get returns without any sales. That really is exceptional!


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## UnicornEmily (Jul 2, 2011)

I just launched my first book yesterday, and I got three sales today!  (Thank you, Kindleboard people who are wonderful and encouraging!)

Still no reviews yet, and I'm sure I'm in for a long slog of seeking more than a teeny sliver of readers, but three sales in the first day is REALLY encouraging, even if that's all I might see for ages!  

This thread is hilarious, so true, and I love reading it.  Thanks for the numbers shared, everybody!  It's nice to feel like I'm not alone in this.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Making just a single sale this month will in no way bar you from this club. It happens. Just be sure that it doesn't happen too often. 

*TexasGirl*: Welcome to the Successful Failures Club.  Right back at you.

*UnicornEmily*: While I welcome you to the club, three sales in one day raises eyebrows around here. Any more sales, and your membership will likely be terminated. Be careful.

*jnfr*: An award for authors who get returns w/o any sales seems appropriate. What shall we call it? The Neg Award?


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

According to Amazon's Kindle Return Policies, "Books you purchase from the Kindle Store are eligible for return and refund *if we receive your request within seven days of the date of purchase.*"

Think about that for a moment. If someone bought your book on 12/29/11 and decides to return your book on 1/4/12 (it falls within that 7-day period), you'll have a negative sale in your stats if you've sold no books on that day.

Is that about right?


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

jnfr said:


> I do think we need some special award for those who get returns without any sales. That really is exceptional!


Agreed.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

What I want to see is someone who gave away free books at the end of the month and started the next with returns. I think that would just be the highest point anyone could reach.


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## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

If Mr RAD is King then I am his Queen!

I have no returns to report - you can't return what you never bought or borrowed in the first place - and no sales either. I haven't shifted a book since December 31st last year. Total sales in three months across all platforms (which means Amazon. Smashwords et al have always been a big fat zero), *19*. This is despite getting my first (4 star) review on Goodreads and promoting the hell out of the website I set up for myself and other writers of children's books.

Ee, chuck. Ain't life grand.


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## soyfrank (Feb 2, 2011)

My amazon ranking, which is better than my nook ranking....wait for it...

1,978,267

Crown the new king! 

*It just dropped two more places


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> If Mr RAD is King then I am his Queen!
> 
> I have no returns to report - you can't return what you never bought or borrowed in the first place - and no sales either. I haven't shifted a book since December 31st last year. Total sales in three months across all platforms (which means Amazon. Smashwords et al have always been a big fat zero), *19*. This is despite getting my first (4 star) review on Goodreads and promoting the hell out of the website I set up for myself and other writers of children's books.
> 
> Ee, chuck. Ain't life grand.


You just may be the Queen. However, I think several others would object.



soyfrank said:


> My amazon ranking, which is better than my nook ranking....wait for it...
> 
> 1,978,267
> 
> ...


This thread is for ebooks only. _The Brubury Tales_ is a paperback and, therefore, inadmissible (despite its rank). Not to mention it has 15 5-star reviews. Not good here.

_Gary, the Four-Eyed Fairy and Other Stories_ is admissible, but it has 6 5-star reviews. That's not good either.

Nice try, soyfrank, but I'm STILL on the throne. The high reviews do you no justice in this club.


----------



## NoCat (Aug 5, 2010)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> What I want to see is someone who gave away free books at the end of the month and started the next with returns. I think that would just be the highest point anyone could reach.


ME! ME! Pick ME!

Actually, that happened to me this month. Only the book wasn't free. I sold some copies right before the turn-over of the month, and then one was returned this month, so I started out the new year with a big old -1 on my dashboard. Not even a zero. -1. Yep. Sigh.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> If Mr RAD is King then I am his Queen!
> 
> I have no returns to report - you can't return what you never bought or borrowed in the first place - and no sales either. I haven't shifted a book since December 31st last year. Total sales in three months across all platforms (which means Amazon. Smashwords et al have always been a big fat zero), *19*. This is despite getting my first (4 star) review on Goodreads and promoting the hell out of the website I set up for myself and other writers of children's books.
> 
> Ee, chuck. Ain't life grand.


Soy may not be King, Rad, but I'm willing to present you your queen based on these figures.


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> What I want to see is someone who gave away free books at the end of the month and started the next with returns. I think that would just be the highest point anyone could reach.


Danielle has a very good point here.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Clearly someone in this thread hates my being the King, so much so that he/she has stooped so low as to actually buy my book. That's right. I happened to look at my books product page and took a peek at the ranking to see if it had reached #500,000 again. To my surprise and disappointment, my book's rank now sits at about #160,000. It's not a glitch either. The rank has done that several times before during the past year; every time it did, KDP showed that I made a sale. This time is no different.

Mind you that on Friday I mentioned finishing the second week of January with a Royal Flush (see post #288 for proof). My KDP stats reveal the sale came this past Saturday. Thanks to one sale, I no longer have a Royal Flush. All I have is a Brownie.

I honestly don't believe this to be a coincidence. I believe someone is trying to usurp the throne. To the individual in this thread who purchased my book on 1/14/12, I wish you nothing but the worst. I hope you sell 60 books this week and every week thereafter with ZERO returns. I hope you get more glowing reviews than you can read. And I hope you get national exposure and Big 6 publishers beating down your door.


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## Lanie Jordan (Feb 23, 2011)

Iain, you'll be proud to know that I've had no more abominations (aka sales) since my last post. I've still only got the one. 

*continues to growl to keep potential buyers away*


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

I just received my sales report for December and my worst fears have been confirmed; I have failed miserably.  In fact 2011 taken as a whole could be seen as an escalating series of failures, each month more failier than the last.  There was the briefest of hope spots in November, but then December came along and, well, I can only say this: I'm very sorry.

On the bright side it looks like I might fail less in January than I did in December, and I made a book free a few days ago but only attracted 27 downloaders.  That's right, I can barely even give these things away.  So there's always that, I suppose.


----------



## Richardcrasta (Jul 29, 2010)

Well, The Killing of an Author and Father, Rebel Dreamer are two books that have sold fewer than a total of 10 copies each in 6 months (and in the latter case, a year). Resounding successes, wouldn't you say?

Though with Killing of an Author, I suppose it's the bad formatting (I had given it to a "professional") and when I go back in and correct that, it might start to fail.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> ...To the individual in this thread who purchased my book on 1/14/12, I wish you nothing but the worst. I hope you sell 60 books this week and every week thereafter with ZERO returns. I hope you get more glowing reviews than you can read. And I hope you get national exposure and Big 6 publishers beating down your door.


You know, a curse like that is a horrible, horrible temptation. I'm resisting, but I just wanted to let you know.....


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

EStoops said:


> You know, a curse like that is a horrible, horrible temptation. I'm resisting, but I just wanted to let you know.....


Maybe I should have limited it to one sale per week.


----------



## lea_owens (Dec 5, 2011)

Here's a success story that should make you all feel absolutely livid with envy (hmm, something not quite right about that, but green just wasn't emphatic enough).

I just released a book of horse stories (Flame The Fire Horse) without any promotion and sold two copies two days ago (I suspect my aging mother bought one... probably accidentally considering her skill at using the Kindle is a constant surprise to her, as in "How did that book appear on my home page?", and since her Kindle is linked to my credit card account as an ongoing gift to her, it would mean I paid for it anyway). I have a free day today (haven't advertised the fact anywhere, just set it for free) and I see that it's been downloaded a couple of hundred times (compared to the tens of thousands of give-aways the less successful authors are hit with)... and I have* one return*. Does this mean that one of my sales was returned after they found out they could get it for free two days later? Ah, the sweet taste of success.

(By the way, I do earn money elsewhere from writing - I have a Masters in Education, I have written for magazines on and off for 25 years and write for tv as well as edit for other people, so it's not as though my books are really awful... just a little specialised. Perhaps, instead of nice, wholesome horse stories for all ages, if I wrote about a school teacher having sex with a horse, I'd be stricken by tens of thousands of downloads on the 'free days'.)


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> What I want to see is someone who gave away free books at the end of the month and started the next with returns. I think that would just be the highest point anyone could reach.


That is hilarious! And I'm sure that indivdiual is out there somewhere.


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## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

Do returns indicate success?  I feel like people regretting the purchase of your book is much worse than completely passing over it.  It would indicate that you're doing something wrong and attracting undesired attention.


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## Mike Dennis (Apr 26, 2010)

Okay, boys and girls. Read it and weep. My short story collection, _Bloodstains On The Wall_ (print version) has reached dizzying new heights in the rankings. As of a few seconds ago, it was at 3,634,184. Do I get the tiara?


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## lea_owens (Dec 5, 2011)

Being proud of returns probably indicates a good deal of tongue-in-cheek sarcasm directed at oneself... although that may not be evident in the written word.


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## ErikHyrkas (Dec 24, 2011)

Mike Dennis said:


> Okay, boys and girls. Read it and weep. My short story collection, _Bloodstains On The Wall_ (print version) has reached dizzying new heights in the rankings. As of a few seconds ago, it was at 3,634,184. Do I get the tiara?


Nice one!

Based on previous posts, my guess is Iain will DQ you for it being printed ... but you probably deserve a tiara anyway. Short stories and poetry are sort of like fishing with dynamite in this thread.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Print versions are straight out. However, that number is quite impressive. How are your numbers for the e-version? If they are as appaling as the print, you may have struck gold in them there words.


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

lea_owens said:


> Being proud of returns probably indicates a good deal of tongue-in-cheek sarcasm directed at oneself... although that may not be evident in the written word.


Sarcasm? In this topic? Surely you jest! This is a Very Serious Topic, Madam.


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## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

> Being proud of returns probably indicates a good deal of tongue-in-cheek sarcasm directed at oneself... although that may not be evident in the written word.


Oh, I'm aware. I just feel that the best kind of success is hiding in the shadows, invisible to customers.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Mike Dennis said:


> Okay, boys and girls. Read it and weep. My short story collection, _Bloodstains On The Wall_ (print version) has reached dizzying new heights in the rankings. As of a few seconds ago, it was at 3,634,184. Do I get the tiara?


While the ranking is pure celestial goodness, it's for a print book. As Danielle Kazemi stated, print versions are frowned upon in this establishment. Automatic disqualification. 

Also, your Kindle version sports a rank of #136,304. That indicates you've made a sale or two recently.

No tiara for you, my friend. No tiara.


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## lea_owens (Dec 5, 2011)

Kathelm said:


> Oh, I'm aware. I just feel that the best kind of success is hiding in the shadows, invisible to customers.


lol "invisible to customers"... hmm, that would be a very successful marketing strategy and sure to have you zooming up the charts until the ranking was well in the hundreds of thousands, and such a high number must be a good thing.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Hiding in the dark shadows is much better than flashing people with your book. The ol look-at-my-goods trick can only lead to utter ruin.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Kathelm said:


> Oh, I'm aware. I just feel that the best kind of success is hiding in the shadows, invisible to customers.


Only if you're seeking obscure failure (which is also lazy failure). To be a "real" successful failure, one must take risks.


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## TexasGirl (Dec 21, 2011)

Yes, like speaking before a whole lotta people who would buy your book. And failing to mention it.

I should get a medal, or something.


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## Mike Dennis (Apr 26, 2010)

Mr. RAD said:


> While the ranking is pure celestial goodness, it's for a print book. As Danielle Kazemi stated, print versions are frowned upon in this establishment. Automatic disqualification.
> 
> Also, your Kindle version sports a rank of #136,304. That indicates you've made a sale or two recently.
> 
> No tiara for you, my friend. No tiara.


Curses! Foiled again!


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

Hello, everybody. It's nice to see so many of you showing pride in your failure.

I'm no longer going to deal with posts one by one, because it's taking up too much of my time. There are other areas of my life that have to be screwed up. I'll drop in from time to time to see how you all are, but when I'm not here, just think of me as a malign presence hovering over you. That should keep you all honest.

But I'm going to need a little help from now on, and so I have decided to delegate banning rights to Roshawn (Mr. RAD), EStoops and Danielle. I think we would all agree that these three are talented and dedicated failures. I'm sure that all will use their power responsibly, but let me suggest the sort of thing they should look out for.

We still get occasional visits from people who seem to think that this thread is a joke. In Jennifer's words, this is a Very Serious Topic. Let's keep it that way. Also asking for a bullet are those trolls who come here to boast about _selling_ books. Zero tolerance, everybody, zero tolerance.

But, new banners, be prepared to give a pat on the back where it's merited. Recently we've seen fine performances from Deanna (TexasGirl), Leanne (lea-owens) and Anne (Doomed Muse). Well done, all three.

And as I've said before, my earlier intolerance of anyone who sells books in any numbers was misplaced. Those honest enough to come here and tell us about it are deserving of our sympathy, provided only that they show genuine contrition.

Now let me address the issue of hard copy. I had said that hard copy sales count triple, but I've come round to the thinking of Roshawn and others. We can't allow them in evidence. It's just too easy to fail with hard copy, so henceforth this is an ebook-only thread. All competitors please note.

And that's all for the time being. Backward and downward, everybody, backward and downward.

Like MacArthur to the Philippines, I will return.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Yes Sir! I am right on it!


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

You mean I have authoritay? However, I must admit I am a success only at home. Overseas in places like Canada they seem to hit the buy button quite by accident.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

I hmm, may have a problem here. I got a borrow. And a sale. In one day. I noticed that one of my books has had a consistent ranking BELOW 100,000.... and the other is consistently less than 250,000. This is pretty worrisome as things go on this thread. I believe, dearhearts, I may have taken one for the team here, in trying out KDPS. It looks like one you hit three reviews per book and get it into the also bought, therein lies the sales. The rub, if you will. I am going to completely back off my announcement that KDPS seemed no more dangerous than any other endeavor. I need more time to assess the damages and report back to you. This could really be what unseats us from our glorious stronghold. 

If you must (or are scheduled to) go free in the next week I recommend you prevent your friend from writing a review beforehand, even if it requires a strong arm, and I really recommend that you verify that you sample chapters aren't TOO interesting. You buy all means ought not announce that you are going free.

Now, I would like to point out, before I'm ruthlessly booed, that this recent surge of interest could be attributed to the very violent snow in Western Washington. As you know, Western Washington and Northwestern Oregon are the seat of Hipster Power, which is into all things independent. And what better than a snow day to convince them to venture not out into their local shops, but out into indie land on their Kindles? Depending on the weather holding, it could be an unusually rough week for us Sucessful Failures. I suggest that any sales that might be attributed to this freak weather be immediately discounted as demerits against failurehood. We simply can't be held responsible for the whims of Mother Nature, so I'm willing to turn a blind eye until the weather clears up reasonable. However, positive reviews may still garner you the stink eye.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

EStoops said:


> I hmm, may have a problem here. I got a borrow. And a sale. In one day. I noticed that one of my books has had a consistent ranking BELOW 100,000.... and the other is consistently less than 250,000. This is pretty worrisome as things go on this thread. I believe, dearhearts, I may have taken one for the team here, in trying out KDPS. It looks like one you hit three reviews per book and get it into the also bought, therein lies the sales. The rub, if you will. I am going to completely back off my announcement that KDPS seemed no more dangerous than any other endeavor. I need more time to assess the damages and report back to you. This could really be what unseats us from our glorious stronghold.
> 
> If you must (or are scheduled to) go free in the next week I recommend you prevent your friend from writing a review beforehand, even if it requires a strong arm, and I really recommend that you verify that you sample chapters aren't TOO interesting. You buy all means ought not announce that you are going free.
> 
> Now, I would like to point out, before I'm ruthlessly booed, that this recent surge of interest could be attributed to the very violent snow in Western Washington. As you know, Western Washington and Northwestern Oregon are the seat of Hipster Power, which is into all things independent. And what better than a snow day to convince them to venture not out into their local shops, but out into indie land on their Kindles? Depending on the weather holding, it could be an unusually rough week for us Sucessful Failures. I suggest that any sales that might be attributed to this freak weather be immediately discounted as demerits against failurehood. We simply can't be held responsible for the whims of Mother Nature, so I'm willing to turn a blind eye until the weather clears up reasonable. However, positive reviews may still garner you the stink eye.


I totally agree. And thanks for the intelligence regarding KDPS.

A sale and a borrow on the same day? And (at the time of this writing) two 4-star books ranking below #100,000? You got it bad, EStoops.

By the way, your books are appearing in my "Also Boughts". That can't be good for either of us.


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## MinaVE (Apr 20, 2010)

*Iain* Your original post was my first laugh today.  I put up a new novella five days ago and no borrows yet. Not that easy giving away stuff, apparently!


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> I totally agree. And thanks for the intelligence regarding KDPS.
> 
> A sale and a borrow on the same day? And (at the time of this writing) two 4-star books ranking below #100,000? You got it bad, EStoops.
> 
> By the way, your books are appearing in my "Also Boughts". That can't be good for either of us.


Things appear to be potentially out of control. Or it might be a reporting error....


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## twg144 (Jan 16, 2012)

I finally found the thread that makes sense to me. Days of depression reading about numbers that were incredible. I thought I was the only one down in the dumps. Oh, to be able to bask and share misery and a bit of humor with others. When I stumbled on the forum, from what I read I said to myself "Wow. Everyone here sells thousands of copies in Kindle books. What am I doing wrong?" So for a couple of days I obsessed over those rankings. I played with the numbers, did stats, did the good ole' freebie day with Select. And woe is me...the numbers went up and down, and on one book - it is like a cement brick in the river. The tears! The anguish! The self-pity! Now I can share it. 

I don't know if I would bask in failure. I do know that it is truly good to know I am not the only one in the sea of tearing out my hair over numbers. A sale a day is also something to look forward to. I really think that is achievement as well.

So I am joining the ranks of those who cannot bask in the sunlight of numbers or fame. Now back to figuring out how I can get someone who actually bought the books (of the few) to maybe review them. Or is that asking too much as well?

Count me in as a fan of this thread. Honesty still abounds. My faith in humanity has been restored.


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## soyfrank (Feb 2, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> You just may be the Queen. However, I think several others would object.
> 
> This thread is for ebooks only. _The Brubury Tales_ is a paperback and, therefore, inadmissible (despite its rank). Not to mention it has 15 5-star reviews. Not good here.]
> 
> Dang it. Disqualified. I'll have to post an ebook version and come back later. RAD is still king..for now!


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## lea_owens (Dec 5, 2011)

d*mn, Horses Of The Sun got 18 borrows and some sales and some of those little # things under the details. But I shall not despair, You Look Worried has climbed from 19,000 paid-in-store to almost 200,000 in a matter of a week. I believe the half million mark is in sight. I do like big numbers. So what if someone else makes five thousand sales, my number is close to 200,000 and that is a much bigger number. Anyone can see that: 
5,000 sales
*200,000* ranking

Much bigger.


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## twg144 (Jan 16, 2012)

I don't know if this puts me up there among the great or just the good but one of my books "A Tale That Is Told" is at a ranking of  "#435,566 in Kindle Store". It is cement in a river. I think that number is worth mentioning.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

lea_owens said:


> ... I shall not despair, You Look Worried has climbed from 19,000 paid-in-store to almost 200,000 in a matter of a week. I believe the half million mark is in sight.


Now that's the kind of success we like around here.


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## NoCat (Aug 5, 2010)

Mine got worse.  What's worse than starting your month with a -1?  Having someone buy it, so it goes to 0. Which is a tiny improvement, right?

But then, it went back to -1. Somehow. No one else bought it. It still reads 1 sale 2 returns -1 net sales. Apparently someone who bought it in December waited a few weeks and THEN returned it.  Thank you, whoever that was. I needed a -1 on my KPD report. Really. I was missing it so terribly...


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## lea_owens (Dec 5, 2011)

I wonder about those returns - surely people only have a limited amount of time which apply to returns - like a few hours. If people keep a book for three or four days and then return it, I'm assuming they've read it and just wanted to read it for free, so they use the return option to get their money back... that's not fair. I was a bit paranoid about people returning free books hoping there wasn't a glitch in the system that allowed them to get a book for free and then return it for a refund. They have the sample option if they want to see if they like a book - if they buy it, fair enough to return it immediately if they realise they bought it by mistake (twice I've bought a book when I actually meant to just get a sample... even then, I kept the books and enjoyed them), but if they've had it for more than 12 hours, there shouldn't be any returns allowed.  On the other hand, such behaviour does make for success stories here.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Now if only you could get -2 then that would be extremely impressive. I could be wrong but I think that might give you the crown at least for January. I did not see anyone else posting about having two returns. Sending hope your direction no one recommends your book before this feat.


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## lea_owens (Dec 5, 2011)

Doomed Muse, if you get so successful as to get a -2, then you should darn well post that here and be punished for such success. I'll buy your book just to ruin those impressive numbers - it would be worth it just to see you slide down from some impressively *large* number in the rankings to a smaller one.


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## NoCat (Aug 5, 2010)

lea_owens said:


> Doomed Muse, if you get so successful as to get a -2, then you should darn well post that here and be punished for such success. I'll buy your book just to ruin those impressive numbers - it would be worth it just to see you slide down from some impressively *large* number in the rankings to a smaller one.


Lol. thanks, Lea. Hopefully I won't rise to such heights as to have a -2... I have only modest ambitions.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

lea_owens said:


> Doomed Muse, if you get so successful as to get a -2, then you should darn well post that here and be punished for such success. I'll buy your book just to ruin those impressive numbers - it would be worth it just to see you slide down from some impressively *large* number in the rankings to a smaller one.


Sabotage is  upon here. Don't do it, or you'll be cursed with a curse (read this post for an example).


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## lea_owens (Dec 5, 2011)

lol @ Mr RAD - that was very amusing reading. I would curse the cursed curse if I were cursed so definitely no buying just to make someone's rank numbers grow smaller... it would almost be like emasculating their numbers.


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## UnicornEmily (Jul 2, 2011)

twg144 said:


> I don't know if this puts me up there among the great or just the good but one of my books "A Tale That Is Told" is at a ranking of "#435,566 in Kindle Store". It is cement in a river. I think that number is worth mentioning.


Yay! Congratulations!

I love this thread. It cracks me up.

Well, I am sitting on seven sales now for my new book (I know . . . shameful!). But I still am sitting on 0 for my print book, so no doubt that still qualifies me to be here.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

UnicornEmily said:


> Yay! Congratulations!
> 
> I love this thread. It cracks me up.
> 
> Well, I am sitting on seven sales now for my new book (I know . . . shameful!). But I still am sitting on 0 for my print book, so no doubt that still qualifies me to be here.


Sorry, UnicornEmily, but print books are not allowed here. Only ebooks. This is Kindle Boards after all.

Seven sales for a new book? We've got our eyes on you.


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## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

Give her a break, Mr RAD. She's just starting out. There's a good chance she might sell nothing else all month - if she's careful.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Dear god, it wasn't a reporting error.....


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## TexasGirl (Dec 21, 2011)

Oh, no, I got a borrow!  

My 4 weeks in Select with a perfect record of 0 borrows DESPITE four free days is LOST! LOST, I tell you!

I'm weeping, please don't kick me out. I won't do any more free days, I promise (well, maybe on Jan. 31 to see if I can get that elusive -1 in Feb.) Bwaaa haaaa haaaa.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Skate said:


> Give her a break, Mr RAD. She's just starting out. There's a good chance she might sell nothing else all month - if she's careful.


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## Shiromi (Jul 5, 2011)

Well, it's been an up and down roller coaster ride for me. I went free for two days and gave away a grand total of 260 copies. Yay me! However, when I went back to paid, I was selling at least 2-3 copies a day... not so good. But I'm back in the running baby, a day and a half with 0 sales!


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## MinaVE (Apr 20, 2010)

TexasGirl said:


> Oh, no, I got a borrow!
> 
> My 4 weeks in Select with a perfect record of 0 borrows DESPITE four free days is LOST! LOST, I tell you!
> 
> I'm weeping, please don't kick me out. I won't do any more free days, I promise (well, maybe on Jan. 31 to see if I can get that elusive -1 in Feb.) Bwaaa haaaa haaaa.


4 weeks then! Should attempt to hold out at 0 for longer...


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Some of you people appear to be trying to sell books!  Wow, fail.

On that, I have to report that even 'tho..

a)  My book is $4.95

b)  I don't give it away for free, or lend it

c)  I don't know how many I've sold, as I don't look....

That the ruling on hard copy may have me disqualified.  I sell more hard copy than ebook.  Surely that means on _kindle_ I'm a better failure, I mean success?

If I don't look, how do I know...?  I'm the one that sells the books, first hand.  I'm on box 4, which is 88, with only one left.  Although There are loads of copies out there unsold (like the 6 that's sititng on the shelves of my local WHSmiths).  And a lot of that number were review copies.  

More importantly, I can categorically say I've not broken even yet!  I'd propose that's the true indicator of success!  

I'd say if you've not broken even, regardless of ebook or dead wood, free downloads, lends or returns, you belong in here!


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## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Broken even? Broken even? Hell's teeth, dear, it will be years yet before that happens. Oh, I belong here all right. I've told you, I'm the Queen  

Oi! You! Yes, you at the back there. Stop pushing - I said I'd sign autographs later. Just form an orderly queue now, that's much better, anyone got a pen?


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> Some of you people appear to be trying to sell books! Wow, fail.
> 
> On that, I have to report that even 'tho..
> 
> ...


I think you're getting very close to banned territory. You seem to have adopted a less-than-defeatest attitude. I compared us to WWI trench soldiers for a reason, here. I need to see more contrition.....


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

EStoops said:


> I think you're getting very close to banned territory. You seem to have adopted a less-than-defeatest attitude. I compared us to WWI trench soldiers for a reason, here. I need to see more contrition.....


Why do I need to show contrition for being so successful? The thread IS 'Successful Indies Only, Please!'

The trick is to ENJOY your success. 

And to scorn the failures who are clearly writing books other people want to buy, as opposed to speaking with your Own One True Voice!


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Very valid points. Writing books that people want to read leads you to ruin. The more obscure the category, the better chance of wearing the crown of success. So to everyone out there wondering how to fail, just go write in a popular category. You have been warned though.


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## TexasGirl (Dec 21, 2011)

I don't know, the epitome of success *could* be writing in a popular category, and remaining unpopular.


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## amiblackwelder (Mar 19, 2010)

I sold about 75 copies of my Shifter Evolutions saga this month! Awesome! Now If I can just make $2,000 a month from my writing


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

TexasGirl said:


> I don't know, the epitome of success *could* be writing in a popular category, and remaining unpopular.


You did notice mine is a VAMPIRE book...?


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Ami, that is a shame. Absolutely pitiful. 75 books over 20 days on one title nevertheless is nothing to be proud about. Get those numbers down to respectible levels. Morgan, vampire lovers are fickle. Keep that garlic handy - I am sure you may need it eventually to drive them back from trying to read it.


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## portiadacosta (Feb 28, 2011)

Well, I was trying to convince myself that KDP was 'frozen'... but in fact it seems there's absolutely nothing wrong with the reporting. It's just interest in my magnificently saleable books that's in the deep freeze. 

I used to sell a few copies, but now I've become a major overachiever in not selling.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Fantastic news Portia! Way to keep with it even in the face of failure.


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## JodyWallace (Mar 29, 2011)

I'm still doing great with my one book in Select -- very few sales and zero borrows! 

But, ehm, here's an important question. When and if a book goes free, what is the allowable number of borrows before one gets snarked out of this thread? Or does it only matter when one sees an increase in actual paid sales? Because I have a book free and it has had a few downloads, but I'm not seeing any sales increase. I mean, doesn't that keep me as generally successful overall, to have a smaller than average # of free downloads and no increase in paid sales??


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

amiblackwelder said:


> I sold about 75 copies of my Shifter Evolutions saga this month! Awesome! Now If I can just make $2,000 a month from my writing


Oh my god.... that is.... sheesh. I'm afraid we're going to have to ban you from the successful failures club until notice of significantly less productive sales.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

TexasGirl said:


> I don't know, the epitome of success *could* be writing in a popular category, and remaining unpopular.


I think this is only part of the equation. Due to saturation, some "popular" categories may present an edge to the new author -- they are HARD to crack..... hmmm.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

> I sold about 75 copies of my Shifter Evolutions saga this month! Awesome! Now If I can just make $2,000 a month from my writing


@amiblackwelder
Danielle and EStoops said it best. Selling books ain't gonna fly here. Get those numbers down to respectable levels (say 1-2 copies per month and get some returns if possible) and you can be a valid member of this club. Otherwise, you will be banned.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Good news everyone. After being robbed of my Royal Flush last weekend, I can honestly report that I still have a Brownie (BBoS everywhere besides Amazon US).

I'm doing it, y'all. I'm headed for greatness. Yeah.


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Well, I think I've achieved a new high in failures. My first mystery, Taxed to Death topped the 500,000+ ranking in January. The second, Fatal Encryption, is at about 475,000, I think. I'm not in KDP's select program, or on Smashwords, thanks to my publisher. So, I can't really give them away, but why ruin my stellar ranking, anyway?

My newer mystery, The Opposite of Dark, is only at about 200,000 something, but I think I sold a copy this month, but fear not. My other publisher set this one at $7.99, so I shall probably achieve 500,000+ sooner rather than later. 

My goal is to have all three at 500,000+ or better.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

> Well, I think I've achieved a new high in failures. My first mystery, Taxed to Death topped the 500,000+ ranking in January. The second, Fatal Encryption, is at about 475,000, I think. I'm not in KDP's select program, or on Smashwords, thanks to my publisher. So, I can't really give them away, but why ruin my stellar ranking, anyway?
> 
> My newer mystery, The Opposite of Dark, is only at about 200,000 something, but I think I sold a copy this month, but fear not. My other publisher set this one at $7.99, so I shall probably achieve 500,000+ sooner rather than later.
> 
> My goal is to have all three at 500,000+ or better.


@Debora Purdy Kong
Those are some purdy rankings you gave there. This is the kind of success we here in this thread are lusting to hear about. Please keep them coming.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

@Jody - Yes, while some may watch in dismay as their ranking number shrinks, take pride in knowing that your book is still virtually unknown. Make sure to check goodreafs though - your book may get marked as to be read which is never a good sign. It opens far too many doors to possible sales. Nip it quick. Borrows on the whole is a tricky subject because it is not technically sales but you still get money and decrease in ranking. Unless your borrows drop you to some supreme failure level of 25,000, I would say borrows are not reliable enough. @Debra - It appears as though you will soon be calling this thread your home. Feel free to continue posting such encouraging numbers. In the words of Emperor Palpatine, we shall watch your career with great interest.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Goodreads I mean. Goodreafs is somewhere completely different.


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## Pamela Kay Noble Brown (Mar 3, 2011)

Whew, that was close.  During the tortuous months leading up to Christmas I cringed when reading authors' forums across the internet that predicted that the millions of new kindles and kindle fires would bring astronomical sales to writers of all genres.  With trembling hands, I carefully typed out my goodbye missive to the members of this select group of successful indies on a keyboard sticky with the salt of the tears cascading down my deflated cheeks.

Well the Christmas season has come and gone and I have risen from the ashes.  Like the mass hysteria caused by the harbingers of the Y2k computer failures that would occur in the year 2000, my fears were unfounded.  Despite the incredible sales of ereaders, I stand here to share the exciting news that I am a survivor!  After checking my sales (six), I am proud and humbled to announce that in 2012 I am even more successful than I was in 2011.  

No five figure drops for me.  My success, and forgive me for bragging, has escalated to the point where my books are able to drop in rankings by over 100,000 spots within....drum roll please...the space of an hour!  Some authors have to work years to achieve such a vast drop in bestseller rankings.  So in closing, I'd like to thank all of the other successful indies for your continued encouragement and for welcoming me with open arms into this exclusive and elite group.


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## Ryan Patrick (Sep 24, 2011)

Yay for super duper indie publishers.

I've sold about 50 copies of my illustrated children's book in about four months. I'm actually pretty happy about that. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005OC2MS2

And I've sold one copy (to my dad) of my short story. http://www.amazon.com/Lonely-Lisas-Lonesome-Life-ebook/dp/B006SA3OL8/ref=pd_sxp_f_pt


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## portiadacosta (Feb 28, 2011)

Pamela Kay Noble Brown said:


> Whew, that was close. During the tortuous months leading up to Christmas I cringed when reading authors' forums across the internet that predicted that the millions of new kindles and kindle fires would bring astronomical sales to writers of all genres.


Yes, count me as another who's managed to survive the Christmas bonanza with my moribund sales growth virtually intact.

I'm profoundly grateful to all the thousands and thousands of new Kindle owners who looked at my titles and then thought, 'Nah, I'll buy a James Patterson instead'...


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

All around fantastic news to hear. I think many people were scared of leaving and heading into failure once the new kindles were opened. We are among the truly successful though to survive this. Good to know there are failures out there like Patterson who can take one for the team.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Morgan, vampire lovers are fickle. Keep that garlic handy - I am sure you may need it eventually to drive them back from trying to read it.


Sigh. That's garlic FLOWERS!!!! Does no one actually read the book now, or does everyone just watch the damn films?


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

I cannot remember where I first heard of garlic driving away vampires. Years and years ago though. And holy water and crucifixes. Werewolves are killed with silver bullets. A tarrasque will just plain destroy you even after dropping a mountain on it. I try to keep this information handy in case I need it.


----------



## Randirogue (Apr 25, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> Sigh. That's garlic FLOWERS!!!! Does no one actually read the book now, or does everyone just watch the d*mn films?


Which source are you talking about? I don't remember it being garlic flowers in Dracula (the novel). But, it's been a long time since I read it so I could very well be wrong. Hence, the question. ~_~ooo

Though, I don't blame anyone who might follow the current popular treatises of the vampire. I'm not discounting reversion to previous popular trends or even the original designs, but there's nothing wrong with appealing to the current trend since the readers are knowledgeable of them. Acknowledging them can be helpful in convincing a reader to go along with your version (be it an "new" alteration, a reversion, a "correction", etc.). Plus, it can help keep from alienating your potential audience.

Though, NOT alienating your readers might be against the goals of this thread... so never mind. ~_~ooo


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Silver has no effect on vampires. Running water, religious symbols, such as a cross or communion host, and garlic flowers. Wood, of course.

Silver as 'purity' against werewolves etc, yes. I understand newer versions have added in silver to vampires. Rather useless, if you ask me. Sort of like green/red kryptonite - definitely a McGuffin!

_We went into the room, taking the [garlic] with us. The Professor's actions were certainly odd and not to be found in any pharmacopeia that I ever heard of. First he fastened up the windows and latched them securely. Next, taking a handful of the flowers, he rubbed them all over the sashes, as though to ensure that every whiff of air that might get in would be laden with the garlic smell. Then with the wisp he rubbed all over the jamb of the door, above, below, and at each side, and round the fireplace in the same way.
It all seemed grotesque to me, and presently I said, "Well, Professor, I know you always have a reason for what you do, but this certainly puzzles me. It is well we have no sceptic here, or he would say that you were working some spell to keep out an evil spirit."
"Perhaps I am!" He answered quietly as he began to make the wreath which Lucy was to wear round her neck._

It was the scent of the flowers that was crucial.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MacGuffin


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

Iain, I must offer you a public apology.  I have contributed to your failure.  It was the review for The Happiest Days that included the line "...the book lurches from chapter to chapter with all the grace of an inebriated soul trying to walk in a circle" that set me on this dark path; I was forced to sample the work in question, and upon reaching the end of the sample and being asked if I enjoyed the preview I was obliged--nay, compelled--to reply in the affirmative.

Yes, I bought the book, and for this I am sorry.  I have personally contributed to your failure, and so I most profusely apologise.  It was an instant of weakness, a moment of lunacy, and I assure you that it will not happen again.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Ben White said:


> Iain, I must offer you a public apology. I have contributed to your failure. It was the review for The Happiest Days that included the line "...the book lurches from chapter to chapter with all the grace of an inebriated soul trying to walk in a circle" that set me on this dark path; I was forced to sample the work in question, and upon reaching the end of the sample and being asked if I enjoyed the preview I was obliged--nay, compelled--to reply in the affirmative.
> 
> Yes, I bought the book, and for this I am sorry. I have personally contributed to your failure, and so I most profusely apologise. It was an instant of weakness, a moment of lunacy, and I assure you that it will not happen again.


Ben! How... how dare you! You dirty dog. You scum! How could you do that to a kindred soul that is such a fine mentor and has kindly tutored us all, and not for gain. You go stand in a corner, holding a dictionary at shoulder level until you feel every muscle burn and every desire to do such a thing is purged.

*rambles, mutters.*

I promise I'll forgive this transgression.... tomorrow. May you be so fortunate that Iain does so.


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> @Jody - Yes, while some may watch in dismay as their ranking number shrinks, take pride in knowing that your book is still virtually unknown. Make sure to check goodreafs though - your book may get marked as to be read which is never a good sign. It opens far too many doors to possible sales. Nip it quick. Borrows on the whole is a tricky subject because it is not technically sales but you still get money and decrease in ranking. Unless your borrows drop you to some supreme failure level of 25,000, I would say borrows are not reliable enough. @Debra - It appears as though you will soon be calling this thread your home. Feel free to continue posting such encouraging numbers. In the words of Emperor Palpatine, we shall watch your career with great interest.


Thank you Danielle and Mr. Rad, I checked this morning and my third book has indeed jumped by another 100,000 on that third book. I'm getting closer to my goal at a remarkably fast rate!


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## twg144 (Jan 16, 2012)

Oh Please! We can write long intelligent statements but numbers say it all. One of my books continues to be cement in the river. Why this one? I have no clue. But the number must gain me some fame if not fortune. *"#459,499 in Kindle Store"*. That says it all. I have made a permanent bookmark to this thread because it has become my home for this book. Taking my bows


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Ben White said:


> Iain, I must offer you a public apology. I have contributed to your failure. It was the review for The Happiest Days that included the line "...the book lurches from chapter to chapter with all the grace of an inebriated soul trying to walk in a circle" that set me on this dark path; I was forced to sample the work in question, and upon reaching the end of the sample and being asked if I enjoyed the preview I was obliged--nay, compelled--to reply in the affirmative.
> 
> Yes, I bought the book, and for this I am sorry. I have personally contributed to your failure, and so I most profusely apologise. It was an instant of weakness, a moment of lunacy, and I assure you that it will not happen again.


Oh, the shame of it!


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

At this point there is little more that I can do than bow my head in supplication and hope for clemency.


----------



## Skate (Jan 23, 2011)

I think we should all go out and buy one of Ben's books to teach him a lesson!


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

Ben White said:


> Iain, I must offer you a public apology. I have contributed to your failure. It was the review for The Happiest Days that included the line "...the book lurches from chapter to chapter with all the grace of an inebriated soul trying to walk in a circle" that set me on this dark path; I was forced to sample the work in question, and upon reaching the end of the sample and being asked if I enjoyed the preview I was obliged--nay, compelled--to reply in the affirmative.
> 
> Yes, I bought the book, and for this I am sorry. I have personally contributed to your failure, and so I most profusely apologise. It was an instant of weakness, a moment of lunacy, and I assure you that it will not happen again.


This is beyond words.

As for the grovelling apology, would you have forgiven Adolf Hitler if he had said in 1945: "Sorry, everybody, put it all down to 'an instant of weakness, a moment of lunacy, and I assure you that it will not happen again.'"?

As regards morality, your purchase of my book is on a par with the actions of Herr Hitler in the thirties and forties. You're not related by any chance?

Unspeakable. I'm going to have to lie down and think about this...


----------



## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

What a dastardly trick. I dare any of you to try that with my books.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> Unspeakable. I'm going to have to lie down and think about this...


Chill. It's not like you'll ever see the money....


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Nobody is buying any books. Ever. Come here to boost up your confidence about being so successful you broke the ranking system on Amazon with a ranking higher than the number of books available. Keep getting those numbers higher. I am almost near 470k.


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## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

I didn't want to have to brag, but people tossing around numbers in the #400,000 range need to be taught a lesson. Read em and weep, baby, and I'm in romance/erotic-romance, too. This is how you achieve true unappreciated-during-your-lifetime status as a writer:

Kindle:
#218,527
#339,644
#381,286
#535,436
#699,512
#719,422
- Two which have yet to achieve _any rank at all_.

Paperback:
#3,958,244


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

twg144 said:


> Oh Please! We can write long intelligent statements but numbers say it all. One of my books continues to be cement in the river. Why this one? I have no clue. But the number must gain me some fame if not fortune. *"#459,499 in Kindle Store"*. That says it all. I have made a permanent bookmark to this thread because it has become my home for this book. Taking my bows


Sorry, but you'll have to do better. One of mine is ranked at about 535,000.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Debra Purdy Kong said:


> Sorry, but you'll have to do better. One of mine is ranked at about 535,000.


a few more months and numbers like that are worth a royal title!


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

EStoops said:


> a few more months and numbers like that are worth a royal title!


I know, right? I'm working on 600,000, but it's crawling up there so slowly.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Anne, those are some wonderful numbers. You truly are a superstar. Keep up the stellar work.


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## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Anne, those are some wonderful numbers. You truly are a superstar. Keep up the stellar work.


Oh, no worries - I have no reason to assume they will change any time soon. Really, there's no where to go but down... er, up. Whatever.


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## NoCat (Aug 5, 2010)

My  -1 went to 0! On noes. No more -1 on my KDP screen. Doom...


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

This thread's silence in the last few days is giving me the idea that most are failing and don't want to admit it.

Well, I'm still having great success. The one sale on the 14 notwithstanding, my book's ranking is now above 400k. It should reach 500k again by week's end. But what solidifies my claim as King in this thread is my continuing Turd Year (see this post for details). Thirteen straight months without a sale at B&N and all foreign Amazon territories. That can't be beat. Not even a -1 in the reports can beat it.

I'm still on the throne.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Let me just take up a position of slavering admiration here, Mr. Rad. Let me fluff your footpillow and get you a nice warm pig for your tootsies.


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## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

Doubting myself, I had to be sure. Would I continue to succeed no matter what? Under any circumstances? So I am testing myself. I scheduled a Kindle Nation Daily sponsorship AND a Goodreads giveaway for next month. If I get no results from those, I can proudly return to this thread victorious.


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

I continue to beat Mr. RAD: #611,511 Paid in Kindle Store

Not until you top that can you feel successful again, sir.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Goodspeed and good luck.


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Well, I thought I might take the prize for the most successful writer last week, but alas, I had a sale over the last day or two (I'm not even sure when), on my $7.99 book no less, and wound up with a 108,000 ranking. Worse, I was ranked #81 in mysteries earlier today, but happily it was up to #94 by supper time.

I feel like I've slid part way down mountain, so I'm hoping the climb up will go smoothly from here on in!


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

jnfr said:


> I continue to beat Mr. RAD: #611,511 Paid in Kindle Store
> 
> Not until you top that can you feel successful again, sir.


I disagree. High rankings pale in comparison to 13 consecutive months of zero sales. One sale and a book's ranking can go down to 100,000 or so. And although one sale could end my nearly 400-day winning streak, that streak is still there and may never be topped. That, my friend, is as close to EPIC FAIL as anyone in this thread has come.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Guys, you are all successful failures. Sharing your successful hold over the BBoSes and proving to be mightier than the Amazon algorithms is no small feat. So long as your rankings remain high and interest in your writing remains lukewarm at best, this is the spot to be.


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Well okay, I guess Mr. RAD and I can share.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Even if you two split your accomplishments among six other people, you both would still be high level successes.


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## Steve Vernon (Feb 18, 2011)

According to NovelRank I'm only three copies away from selling a world-shaking best of 20 copies of DEVIL TREE over January.

I know. I know. Most of you want to put me up against the wall and shoot me death slowly with cork guns loaded with soggy cork.

But have no fear. Most of my other books are stilling selling at the one or two copy level - at least one of them has only sold one copy in three whole months.

So my unsuccesful success rate remains intact.

Unfortunately, I am determined to futz this up and get myself speed drummed out of the unsucceeding successful indie club. It's kind of a death wish, you understand, undoubtedly the by-product of my tortured sordid childhood growing up in the reject tent of the local freak show.

  

Stop me before I sell again!


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## Sebastiene (Dec 15, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> High rankings pale in comparison to 13 consecutive months of zero sales.... And although one sale could end my nearly 400-day winning streak, that streak is still there and may never be topped.


I'm confused. I've sold a (very, very, very, very) few copies of my book and my rank is about #200,000 worse (better?) than yours. And yet you say you have not sold a copy in 400 days.

The Pearl of Great Price: #426,853
Dead World: #621,979

You don't have some sales you're not telling us about, do you, Mr. Rad? Hmmmm?


----------



## ErikHyrkas (Dec 24, 2011)

*wanders in*

It seems to me that the most reliable and fair way of judging success is rank.  Being in the 600k range is really reaching for the stars.  In my humble opinion, it is a verifiable sign of greatness.

*wanders out*


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## Sebastiene (Dec 15, 2011)

ErikHyrkas said:


> Being in the 600k range is really reaching for the stars. In my humble opinion, it is a verifiable sign of greatness.


Thank you, ErikHyrkas. One tries one's best.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Sebastiene said:


> I'm confused. I've sold a (very, very, very, very) few copies of my book and my rank is about #200,000 worse (better?) than yours. And yet you say you have not sold a copy in 400 days.
> 
> The Pearl of Great Price: #426,853
> Dead World: #621,979
> ...


As best as I can tell, rank is an alogrithim that calculates recent sales heavily, and old sales "straight" so if Mr. Rad has say, 20 sales, even thought they are over a year ago, then he still ranks better than someone with 10. Unless it was ten this week.....


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Sebastiene said:


> I'm confused. I've sold a (very, very, very, very) few copies of my book and my rank is about #200,000 worse (better?) than yours. And yet you say you have not sold a copy in 400 days.
> 
> The Pearl of Great Price: #426,853
> Dead World: #621,979
> ...


Let me set the record straight.

I've sold one copy of my book this month. Only one. Before that sale, my book was approaching the 600,000 sales rank. One funky sale brought it down to the 100,000 area. Again, one sale can ruin you.

I began my self-publishing career on 12/23/10. As of yesterday (1/26/12), I've been at this for 399 days. _That's the number of days I've gone without making a single sale at B&N and at all foreign Amazon venues._ I've made sales (10 to be exact) only at Amazon US all this time; I've sold absolutely nothing elsewhere for almost 400 days (13 consecutive months and change).

No one else in this thread has mentioned that kind of sales drought for B&N and all foreign Amazon channels. And that's why I call myself the King -- that accomplishment is simply too hard to beat and gives me an edge. Not that any of us are competing with one another.  



jnfr said:


> Well okay, I guess Mr. RAD and I can share.


----------



## Guest (Jan 27, 2012)

I've sold around 100 pieces in overall on all my channels since the release of my two beauties (Pictures below, Crystal Shade, Nov 11, 2011, Pale Moonlight, Nov 29, 2011. However I must admit that Amazon is the weakest in my sales, especially if I should compare it with SW.) and Crystal Shade got an offer yesterday from a Spanish publisher that they want to translate and released it at the end of the year. I'm proud that both has an average of 4.5 stars at Smashwords, Goodreads and Amazon (Only Pale Moonlight has star reviews at Amazon). And yes, it is correct. One sale can push you below 100k. On the day when I've sold two from Crystal Shade it pushed it to around 58k (Now it's #305,141.). Strange, but PM has less sales, while that's my $0.99 masterpiece (Crystal Shade was priced between $4.99 - $8.88 during it's short life. Now it's the first one, but people also have bought with the other price as well.).

These sales might be nothing comparing to the sales of the big ones, but to me it's a great achievement, especially as I'm from Hungary, Central Europe. For a foreigner it's much harder to sell things and it's also harder to get a minimal recogniton.


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## jmoralee (Sep 6, 2011)

I've sold only a handful of books since becoming a Kindle author - with none in the UK at all, where I live.  I think my books must be radioactive or something.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

jmoralee said:


> I've sold only a handful of books since becoming a Kindle author - with none in the UK at all, where I live. I think my books must be radioactive or something.


Well, that's a good start. You might want to advertise that fact though, it should bring enthusiasm down.

In other news, I'm proud to report that I've had a week of no activity.


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## J Dean (Feb 9, 2009)

Iain Manson said:


> I'm sick of all these stories from people who sell a few tens (or maybe hundreds) of thousands of copies every year (or day, or minute, or something).
> 
> Let's celebrate some _real_ success. I fear that my one conventionally-published book may buck the trend a little, but in seven months, my three self-published titles have sold . . . [roll of drums] . . . _*54 copies*_!
> 
> ...


47 copies in three years, not counting my free stuff.

Can you beat that?


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## portiadacosta (Feb 28, 2011)

I thought I was in danger of falling from grace and having to leave here. I uploaded a new book, and almost immediately got a sale.

But they returned it... so I am safe!


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Excellent work!


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

EStoops said:


> In other news, I'm proud to report that I've had a week of no activity.


That's some good news, EStoops



J Dean said:


> 47 copies in three years, not counting my free stuff.
> 
> Can you beat that?


My goodness! That's Grade-A stuff there.



portiadacosta said:


> I thought I was in danger of falling from grace and having to leave here. I uploaded a new book, and almost immediately got a sale.
> 
> But they returned it... so I am safe!


----------



## Beatriz (Feb 22, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> I'm sick of all these stories from people who sell a few tens (or maybe hundreds) of thousands of copies every year (or day, or minute, or something).
> 
> Let's celebrate some _real_ success. I fear that my one conventionally-published book may buck the trend a little, but in seven months, my three self-published titles have sold . . . [roll of drums] . . . _*54 copies*_!
> 
> ...


I just love a sense of humor. Keep plugging alone. You'll get there.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

I just checked my book's sales rank. Hadn't done so in a couple of says. Going to the Amazon product page, I fully expected to see that my book's rank had risen beyond the 500,000 mark since it was above 400,000 the last time I checked. To my dismay, it's currently down to 250,000.









What a load of







. Just when I thought I was back on track to be a "successful" indie, the Universe decided to







on my parade. That's two sales this month. Twice I've approached the half-a-million mark this month (was above it earlier this month) and got pulled back down.

Is the Universe against me, or is someone in this thread gunning for the throne?









But my Brownie still exists for B&N and everything beyond Amazon US. My Turd year continues, so I'm still the


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

I surely hope no one on this thread is trying to pull a coup. It may be possible you are entering a failure cycle. You have my condolences.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

JRHenderson said:


> I don't know, Mr. RAD. In this thread, two sales per month is known as a "buying frenzy"...


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## portiadacosta (Feb 28, 2011)

Never mind, it's Monday. Nobody has ever been known to buy a single thing of mine on Monday, so hopefully you'll all be experiencing this same highly successful phenomenon.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

portiadacosta said:


> Never mind, it's Monday. Nobody has ever been known to buy a single thing of mine on Monday, so hopefully you'll all be experiencing this same highly successful phenomenon.


Lovely, isn't it?


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## Neil Ostroff (Mar 25, 2011)

I've been marketing heavy for about a year and average about 50-70 copies combined a month.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Not that I care about reviews or anything, but I noticed that of the 99 also-boughts for my latest novel on Amazon, 97 have more reviews than my lowly two, and 77 of those have double-digit reviews.

Of course, reviews generally mean someone's actually _read_ your book, so I guess they're a sign of failure. 

_--George, who has one title still unsold on all Amazons for 201 days and counting..._


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

I think I'm inching towards ten sales this month. But spread over two books and I know I bought at least four as gifts for people. So I think I'm still safe, but I may have a problem if this trend continues....


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

I crunched the numbers today, and my first novel, which has cost me around $350 to produce and license and market, has, after eighteen months, earned a _theoretical_ $39.99. Just... a bit over eleven years until I break even, on paper. Yay!

But, wait, that amount is "theoretical" because, let's be honest, I'm never going to see a single Eurocent from the handful of .de sales I've had, and I've still yet to hit minimum payout levels at Smashwords or Createspace, even with my five other books combined. My actual, in-pocket royalties from this book are about $6, so far. So, on that basis... only eighty-six years or so to break even, in terms of actual money received.


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

EStoops said:


> I think I'm inching towards ten sales this month. But spread over two books and I know I bought at least four as gifts for people. So I think I'm still safe, but I may have a problem if this trend continues....


Oh yes, definitely a problem. Your sales have quadrupled mine this month! One of my books at over #500,00, the second at #477,000, and the third at #329,000. I'm thinking about going out and buying a tiara to proudly wear at the computer.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

George Berger said:


> I crunched the numbers today, and my first novel, which has cost me around $350 to produce and license and market, has, after eighteen months, earned a _theoretical_ $39.99. Just... a bit over eleven years until I break even, on paper. Yay!
> 
> But, wait, that amount is "theoretical" because, let's be honest, I'm never going to see a single Eurocent from the handful of .de sales I've had, and I've still yet to hit minimum payout levels at Smashwords or Createspace, even with my five other books combined. My actual, in-pocket royalties from this book are about $6, so far. So, on that basis... only eighty-six years or so to break even, in terms of actual money received.


This is the most awesome stuff I've heard here in a while. Great job!


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

George Berger said:


> I crunched the numbers today, and my first novel, which has cost me around $350 to produce and license and market, has, after eighteen months, earned a _theoretical_ $39.99. Just... a bit over eleven years until I break even, on paper. Yay!
> 
> But, wait, that amount is "theoretical" because, let's be honest, I'm never going to see a single Eurocent from the handful of .de sales I've had, and I've still yet to hit minimum payout levels at Smashwords or Createspace, even with my five other books combined. My actual, in-pocket royalties from this book are about $6, so far. So, on that basis... only eighty-six years or so to break even, in terms of actual money received.


*slow clap and head shake of utter admiration*


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Eighty six years will be over in a flash.


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

George Berger said:


> I crunched the numbers today, and my first novel, which has cost me around $350 to produce and license and market, has, after eighteen months, earned a _theoretical_ $39.99. Just... a bit over eleven years until I break even, on paper. Yay!
> 
> But, wait, that amount is "theoretical" because, let's be honest, I'm never going to see a single Eurocent from the handful of .de sales I've had, and I've still yet to hit minimum payout levels at Smashwords or Createspace, even with my five other books combined. My actual, in-pocket royalties from this book are about $6, so far. So, on that basis... only eighty-six years or so to break even, in terms of actual money received.


George, you must publish more books, so you can succeed faster!


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

George Berger said:


> I crunched the numbers today, and my first novel, which has cost me around $350 to produce and license and market, has, after eighteen months, earned a _theoretical_ $39.99. Just... a bit over eleven years until I break even, on paper. Yay!
> 
> But, wait, that amount is "theoretical" because, let's be honest, I'm never going to see a single Eurocent from the handful of .de sales I've had, and I've still yet to hit minimum payout levels at Smashwords or Createspace, even with my five other books combined. My actual, in-pocket royalties from this book are about $6, so far. So, on that basis... only eighty-six years or so to break even, in terms of actual money received.


This is really worthy of a Lifetime Achievement Award -- it really will take a lifetime!


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

jnfr said:


> George, you must publish more books, so you can succeed faster!


I'm workin' on it, I'm workin' on it. Unoriginal ideas, tortuous dialogue, and cardboard characters don't grow on trees, y'know.


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

So true. Writing successfully is just as hard as writing for failure, alas!


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

George Berger said:


> I crunched the numbers today, and my first novel, which has cost me around $350 to produce and license and market, has, after eighteen months, earned a _theoretical_ $39.99. Just... a bit over eleven years until I break even, on paper. Yay!
> 
> But, wait, that amount is "theoretical" because, let's be honest, I'm never going to see a single Eurocent from the handful of .de sales I've had, and I've still yet to hit minimum payout levels at Smashwords or Createspace, even with my five other books combined. My actual, in-pocket royalties from this book are about $6, so far. So, on that basis... only eighty-six years or so to break even, in terms of actual money received.


George, this is quite wonderful. I confess to a lump in the throat and a tear in the eye.

Do you know, we could start a sort of Knights of the Round Table thing... What about the Knights of the Beige Bar?

Listen, everybody, could we do it, and could I be King Arthur, please, on the grounds that I started it? You see, I'm not going to pretend that I'm the greatest knight in the world, not when there are heroes like Mr. RAD and George around. King Arthur just has to be a sort of benign presence.

I see Roshawn (Mr. RAD) as Lancelot, the King's champion, the peerless knight who falls from grace because he has it off with the queen. (As it happens, I'm not married, but I grew up on a farm, and there was once a sheep I was rather fond of, so perhaps we could work something out along those lines.)

Then there's the Siege Perilous, the vacant seat at the Round Table, fatal to any who sit in it save for the greatest knight of all, he (or in our case, possibly she) who would find the Holy Grail. Who will be our Sir Galahad? Could it be George? And what is our Holy Grail? And how will we know it from a rusty old tin mug?

And could we have applications, please, for the post of Merlin, my wizard? There are many here whose failing powers (if you'll pardon the pun) might be considered supernatural. Oh yes, this is going to work.

There are so many places to fill. Who, for example, will be Tristan (sometimes Tristram), whose life is hopelessly screwed up when he accidentally falls in love with Iseult the Sheep. (Come to think of it, I'm not sure Iseult was a sheep. Better check up on that one.)

We need a Guinevere (the dead sheep is only a temporary measure), we need a Gawain (and possibly a Green Knight), we need a Gareth (one of my favourites), and many others. Applications on a Kindle Board, please...


----------



## twg144 (Jan 16, 2012)

Take heart all of the ones who think they are King and Queen here. 
One book of mine "_A Tale That Is Told - Part 1 (The Chronicles Of The Children Of Heaven)_" is at Current Sales Rank: #540,332 in Kindle Store. I am moving up or down and I will be able to soon vie for a Prince title.

AND

*Dont you love it when a friend asks for you a signed and FREE copy of your book and will NOT pay for it?*

Got to love it...you just got to love it.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Start of the month. While I am sure we are all loving our BBoses, did anyone pull an ultimate? This means having a free book returned and that is the only thing on your report.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> George, this is quite wonderful. I confess to a lump in the throat and a tear in the eye.
> 
> Do you know, we could start a sort of Knights of the Round Table thing... What about the Knights of the Beige Bar?


Oi! What about your dark queen priestess thingy! I demand to be Morgan Le Fay!

Thus ensuring at some point I shall leave the fold, and sell books, no matter the approbation of my peers!

EDIT: See, I'm a heretic already!


----------



## portiadacosta (Feb 28, 2011)

Well, it's official. My stuff is so dazzlingly readable and successful that I can't even give it away! You know these miserable failures who report "oh, I've had x thousand downloads in the first hour of going on Select free"... well, they must be bitterly envious of my success. 

8 downloads in as many hours, and no borrows. I'm only sad that I've blotted my copybook with those 8.  

Hopefully they'll soon be returned. It's only matter of time before the readers decide they don't want my dismal words polluting their Kindles.


----------



## Guest (Feb 1, 2012)

George Berger said:


> I crunched the numbers today, and my first novel, which has cost me around $350 to produce and license and market, has, after eighteen months, earned a _theoretical_ $39.99. Just... a bit over eleven years until I break even, on paper. Yay!


I'm curious how you did this. I released two books and they generated more than $39 in the month of the release. Have you advertised your work? Send me your book's Amazon link via PM and maybe I can give you some advice (Not that I would be that veteran, but maybe I can help something or give some advice.).


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Guardian said:


> I'm curious how you did this. I released two books and they generated more than $39 within a month. Have you advertised your work?


It took skill, perseverance, and dogged determination. (Well, having a badly-written cross-genre YA novel with a "pretentious" cover, two-dimensional characters, and "tortuous" dialogue probably helped. I kind of suck.)

I advertised _lots_. The money I wasted on advertising (on KND, and numerous other places) is half the problem.


----------



## Lexi Revellian (May 31, 2010)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Start of the month. While I am sure we are all loving our BBoses, did anyone pull an ultimate? This means having a free book returned and that is the only thing on your report.


Nearly. For _Replica_, I have, according to what I fervently hope is broken KDP reporting, achieved -1 sales total in the US today.

Lexi


----------



## lea_owens (Dec 5, 2011)

OK, I'm sharing the 'Queen for a Day' title with Danielle . I actually did sell a few books last month, but let's forget about that - it was only enough to keep me in coffee, so not a total failure in the eyes of this thread.

*BUT * - ta da! - my first day of February over: no sales, one return. I am -1.

Yay!


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

LOL Sadly, I am unable to share the crown with you gals but those -1 numbers are encouraging. At least the BBoS is gone.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Well after gaining some worrisome traction in January, I'm please to announce things are back to the BBoS. Never fear though, I'm trying a new over-the-wall into no-man's land tactic that, should it bring about continuing sucessful failure, I shall really have something to brag about.


----------



## lea_owens (Dec 5, 2011)

I'm sorry, but I may have lost the crown... I have sold a book so it was like a collision of anti matter and matter which ends in nothing. The -1 from the return is now a zero.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Sorry to hear about your sale. I hope the trend does not continue into the month.


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Better luck tomorrow, lea!


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## Ernie Lindsey (Jul 6, 2010)

> Start of the month. While I am sure we are all loving our BBoses, did anyone pull an ultimate? This means having a free book returned and that is the only thing on your report.


I held onto this for SO long today. I haven't been free since December, so I had a *paid* book returned to dispose of my BBoS with a -1 today. But dagnabbit, somebody had to go and ruin it with a purchase.

Malfeasance!


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

I demand to be Iseult the Sheep.

(Did you see that? I was so _assertive_.)


----------



## psychotick (Jan 26, 2012)

Hi,

I sold sixteen books today, so I guess I'm in trouble. But I did get a really stink review. That must count for something - right?

Cheers, Greg.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

psychotick said:


> Hi,
> 
> I sold sixteen books today, so I guess I'm in trouble. But I did get a really stink review. That must count for something - right?
> 
> Cheers, Greg.


You're in trouble, Greg. A stink review does not negate those 16 sales. If you don't stop, you'll have your membership here revoked.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

psychotick said:


> Hi,
> 
> I sold sixteen books today, so I guess I'm in trouble. But I did get a really stink review. That must count for something - right?
> 
> Cheers, Greg.


I agree. Those numbers are really appalling. Report back on Sunday at the latest. It could be a fluke and if so, we will accept the flimsiest reasoning. If it isn't a fluke.....


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

I have good news to report. While examining my book on Amazon.com, I noticed that all 7 pages of "Also Boughts" have completely disappeared and so has my ranking. I have to go to Novelrank.com to see my book's actual sales rank, which is #342,983.

The awesomeness continues.


----------



## KirbyTails (Jan 4, 2012)

Mr. RAD said:


> I have good news to report. While examining my book on Amazon.com, I noticed that all 7 pages of "Also Boughts" have completely disappeared and so has my ranking. I have to go to Novelrank.com to see my book's actual sales rank, which is #342,983.
> 
> The awesomeness continues.


Geez. What's up with Amazon? There seems to be so many problems.


----------



## ErikHyrkas (Dec 24, 2011)

RAD,

Thanks for telling me about NovelRank!

I just installed the iPhone app.


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

Some splendid performances here, with minus figures an inspiration to us all.

The Round Table isn't filling up as fast as I would like, but thus far we have:

*King Arthur Me
Sir Lancelot Mr RAD
Morgan le Fay Morgan Gallagher
Iseult the Sheep Ben White*

*Roshawn*: I'm assuming you accept the role of Lancelot, since you haven't objected.
*Morgan*: Good thinking, and a shoo-in for the role. As you say, it means you can go over to the dark side at any time.
*Ben*: That's my boy... I mean, sheep. Nothing like a bit of assertiveness.

*Troll alert*: A troll has turned up here in the person of *Lexi Revellian*. Known in Harry Potter as a "full-grown mountain troll", this monster of depravity has by her own admission already sold nearly fifty thousand ebooks - and may, I suspect, be hiding further sales. She comes here to boast of some glitch in her figures which makes her appear, however briefly, to be a decent sort. Don't fall for it.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

..... I'm hurt..... I'm very hurt... I thought by now at least I could be a squire to one of these greats... if not say, a night in training....


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

EStoops said:


> ..... I'm hurt..... I'm very hurt... I thought by now at least I could be a squire to one of these greats... if not say, a night in training....


You should at least get some sort of certificate of achievement for spelling "knight in training" wrong.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

I would like to be day in training. Or maybe dusk.


----------



## martaszemik (Dec 4, 2011)

At one point today my rank was 10,000,000 (that's not a typo!) on kindle nation daily tracker. I freaked until I saw a comment "no data available". After an hour it went back to its temporary 66,000 spot. (approx)

Has anyone seen this before?


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

66,000? Nope, not for a while. No idea what goes on at Novelrank though.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

George Berger said:


> You should at least get some sort of certificate of achievement for spelling "knight in training" wrong.


Hush... if I spell things wrong people won't byu my book.


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

EStoops said:


> ..... I'm hurt..... I'm very hurt... I thought by now at least I could be a squire to one of these greats... if not say, a night in training....


No, EStoops, listen, please. And Danielle, and anyone else who aspires to be a Knight of the Beige Bar. _You just have to apply._ Who would you like to be? Sir Tristan? Sir Gawain? A peripheral character, such as the Green Knight? Would you like to sit in the Siege Perilous (and thus ensure your own death unless you are the greatest knight of all?)

Just tell me who you'd like to be. I have the final say, but it's most unlikely that I, King Arthur, would deny the request of so doughty a warrior.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Permission to be Sir Kay, my liege?


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *Troll alert*: A troll has turned up here in the person of *Lexi Revellian*. Known in Harry Potter as a "full-grown mountain troll", this monster of depravity has by her own admission already sold nearly fifty thousand ebooks - and may, I suspect, be hiding further sales. She comes here to boast of some glitch in her figures which makes her appear, however briefly, to be a decent sort. Don't fall for it.


Watch the throne! Squash the trolls!


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Permission to be Gawain then. I have always wanted to fight a green man.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

I am, of course, absolutely proud of this, spotted in the stats for my website:








And this first-page Google result, which is not a fluke:








You can't make this sort of awesome success up.

Apologies for the bragging, but it's rare that I experience such concrete manifestations of my success.


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

Brag away, this is the kind of success story that I love to see


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

George Berger said:


> I am, of course, absolutely proud of this, spotted in the stats for my website:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## KirbyTails (Jan 4, 2012)

First result on Google, though! You lucky dog!


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

KirbyTails said:


> First result on Google, though! You lucky dog!


I know, right? I bet Modwitch, being the search-engine optimization wizard that she is, is green with envy.


----------



## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

This thread is totally rigged. I'm sitting with nothing worse than a 300,000, two in the 700,000s, and two without any rankings at all, and I didn't even get an honourable mention? Pfft. Okay, I know when I'm not wanted. So, fine; I'm just going to dub myself Brave, Brave Sir Robin and bugger off.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

anne_holly said:


> This thread is totally rigged. I'm sitting with nothing worse than a 300,000, two in the 700,000s, and two without any rankings at all, and I didn't even get an honourable mention? Pfft. Okay, I know when I'm not wanted. So, fine; I'm just going to dub myself Brave, Brave Sir Robin and bugger off.


I beg your pardon -- 700,000.

STOP THE PRESSES!!!!

That is a fine job. A FINE job.  You are an example to which we ALL aspire. Success like that doesn't come without blood, sweat and tears.

I happily second your bid to be Sir Robin.

And apply for the job of your Unfortunate Welsh Patsy (Squire)


----------



## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

EStoops said:


> I beg your pardon -- 700,000.
> 
> STOP THE PRESSES!!!!
> 
> ...


As of right now...

#309,161 Paid in Kindle Store
#431,335 Paid in Kindle Store
#448,924 Paid in Kindle Store
#604,625 Paid in Kindle Store
#721,368 Paid in Kindle Store
#737,943 Paid in Kindle Store
*failed to score*
*failed to score*
#4,272,229 in Books



It's actually kind of fascinating to watch those numbers, and wonder if I can reach #1,000,000 in Kindle in some sort of exact-opposite mirror image of the John Locke 1,000,000 sold achievement.

_*When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.*_


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## jmoralee (Sep 6, 2011)

Last week I suspected my books were radioactive.  They didn’t glow in the dark, but readers were avoiding them like they had health warnings.

Since then, the radioactivity level must have gone down to a safe level because one rose to ranking #50,000 for a brief time.

Luckily it’s plunging down the rankings again, even though it no longer makes your hair fall out in clumps.

I think I’ll start handing out iodine tablets and Geiger counters to reassure readers my books won’t kill them.

Not immediately, anyway.


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## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

jmoralee said:


> Last week I suspected my books were radioactive. They didn't glow in the dark, but readers were avoiding them like they had health warnings.
> 
> Since then, the radioactivity level must have gone down to a safe level because one rose to ranking #50,000 for a brief time.
> 
> ...


If your books were radioactive, you'd be getting a lot of strange sales from weapons-embargoed countries, which would totally ruin you for this thread.


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*George Berger*: Rise, Sir Kay.

*Danielle Kazemi*: Rise, Sir Gawain.

*Anne Holly*: Rise, Sir Robin*

*EStoops*: Now hang on just a moment. If we're still on Monty Python, Patsy* is King Arthur's squire, not Sir Robin's. Clarification needed.

*George*: Many congratulations on your "pathetic sales figures" a phrase which all should google. You are presently not only on the first page, but the first result on the first page. A worthy knight indeed, Sir Kay!

*For the benefit of the uninitiated, these are references to _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_, one of the great achievements of the cinematic art. Anne has quoted a verse from _Brave Sir Robin Ran Away_. The whole thing may be found 



 on YouTube.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Proud to report that I finished another week with the Royal Flush. And my Turd Year is now moving into its 14th month.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Wonder who is going to volunteer to be Guinevere...?

*sharpens nails whilst looking over to far mountain top, to see if Lancelot approaches...)


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## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Fair Guinevere? That will be I
My red-gold hair means I comply,
And lo! My lord a gift I bring, one to make the angles sing.
(Lays the casket at his feet,
Too afraid his gaze to meet)
Twelve days without a sale, I curse, and so I end my lowly verse

Though  why I should want to be the adulterous batch that was Guinny, is beyond me!


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> Fair Guinevere? That will be I
> My red-gold hair means I comply,
> And lo! My lord a gift I bring, one to make the angles sing.
> (Lays the casket at his feet,
> ...


Me thinks Arthur may benefit from a Chastity belt.

*Drops a suitable curtsy, hiding the disdain on my face...almost*


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## jmoralee (Sep 6, 2011)

anne_holly said:


> If your books were radioactive, you'd be getting a lot of strange sales from weapons-embargoed countries, which would totally ruin you for this thread.


Although my books are radioactive, they can't be easily weaponised - so no rogue states would be interested in them.

However they could be used as Weapons of Minor Destruction if someone reading one threw away their Kindle in disgust, injuring a nearby innocent person.

Fortunately that will never happen as long my books remain unsold.

The world is safe for the moment &#8230;


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*Lyndawrites*: My queen. And yes, the "angles" are already singing. But a word of warning, Guinny: _just you stay away from that bastard Lancelot RAD_. I trust I make myself clear.

*jmoralee*: Welcome to the thread, John. Your talent and determination make you a welcome addition to the ranks. I'm not sure if your high-tech weaponry is entirely suitable for admission to membership of the Knights of the Beige Bar, but a seat at the table is yours if you wish to claim it.

*Lurkers*: What are you waiting for? This is the real thread, the thread for those who know how to defend their books. If you don't make yourself known, you cannot blame us for suspecting that you are to be numbered among those incontinents who shamelessly excrete books from all available orifices.

Whose side do you want to be on when my warriors, the Knights of the Beige Bar, go forth to cleanse the world of evil? My knights are errant, oh yes, they are errant.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *Lyndawrites*: My queen. And yes, the "angles" are already singing. But a word of warning, Guinny: _just you stay away from that bastard Lancelot RAD_. I trust I make myself clear.
> 
> *jmoralee*: Welcome to the thread, John. Your talent and determination make you a welcome addition to the ranks. I'm not sure if your high-tech weaponry is entirely suitable for admission to membership of the Knights of the Beige Bar, but a seat at the table is yours if you wish to claim it.
> 
> ...


This is all so much fun!

I know, let's make it into a book! It'll sell like hot cakes!


----------



## jmoralee (Sep 6, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> This is all so much fun!
> 
> I know, let's make it into a book! It'll sell like hot cakes!


Unfortunately if it sold like hot cakes it would no longer be suitable for this thread!

Iain, I'd love a seat at the table. I'll just leave all of my deadly weapons outside during the meetings.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

jmoralee said:


> Unfortunately if it sold like hot cakes it would no longer be suitable for this thread.


That was the point of the humour....


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## Millard (Jun 13, 2011)

Hey look, a sales thread I can finally join!

4 sales this month, out of four titles combined, which is pretty average for some months in total. I've been on KDP since June, and at this point I'm assuming they're not selling because people are IDIOTS, because honestly, my stuff is awesome. 

It feels good to be able to let that out in a thread on here, with everyone all humble and shifting thousands a month.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Yes, shifting thousands. Every day. In an upward motion. As for writing a book, we could title it How I Sold Four Copies in Two Years. It will be a runaway smash hit.


----------



## sandrasstories (Feb 1, 2012)

Well, I've sold about 4 copies in total. Book has been published for a month now. 

It's hard!! Marketing is hard!!

Any tips, guys?


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

sandrasstories said:


> Well, I've sold about 4 copies in total. Book has been published for a month now.


That qualifies as a sales frenzy in this thread.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

*EStoops*: Now hang on just a moment. If we're still on Monty Python, Patsy* is King Arthur's squire, not Sir Robin's. Clarification needed.

Actually, just a general joke, Iain. The Welsh are ALWAYS getting taken advantage of by the British, and that was my allusion. If it must be pythonesque, then Sir Arthur's Unfortunate Welsh Patsy is fine.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

EStoops said:


> *EStoops*: Now hang on just a moment. If we're still on Monty Python, Patsy* is King Arthur's squire, not Sir Robin's. Clarification needed.
> 
> Actually, just a general joke, Iain. The Welsh are ALWAYS getting taken advantage of by the British, and that was my allusion. If it must be pythonesque, then Sir Arthur's Unfortunate Welsh Patsy is fine.


I think you'll find that's the Welsh being taken advantage of by the English.

Since Wales is in Britain.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> I think you'll find that's the Welsh being taken advantage of by the English.
> 
> Since Wales is in Britain.


My friend, English, claims that the Welsh are the WELSH...and therefore, through convoluted logic impenetrable by anyone not native to the British Isles, something about poor Welshies being permanently associated with sheep which explains their..... oh, never mind, I'm a stupid American and I like your version better, and will go with that. Yes, I'd like to be the poor Welsh Patsy put upon by the ENGLISH.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

EStoops said:


> My friend, English, claims that the Welsh are the WELSH...and therefore, through convoluted logic impenetrable by anyone not native to the British Isles, something about poor Welshies being permanently associated with sheep which explains their..... oh, never mind, I'm a stupid American and I like your version better, and will go with that. Yes, I'd like to be the poor Welsh Patsy put upon by the ENGLISH.


It's TERRIBLY simple.

Everyone on the mainline island, is in Great Britain. So they are British. That's the Scots, the English, and the Welsh.

You then move up one, to the bits off the mainland, and that becomes the United Kingdom. That includes the Northern Irish. Who are Irish. Or from Ulster, depending on their religious history.

But who are NEVER British. Usually.

And then you have the smaller islands. Like the Isle of Man, and the Channel islands. Who aren't British either, but allow the British Parliament to stand for them in defence and international law.

Then you have the smaller islands, (Some of whom are bigger than the bigger islands) who 'belong' to the nation they are nearest too. And don't have their own parliament, or laws. They're Scottish, or Welsh, or English (and therfore by default, all British) by dint of the bit of the main land they lie next next too.

Unless, of course, it's the Zetlands. Which was a wedding gift from Norway, to a Scottish Prince, as part of a dowry. They are NEVER Scottish. And get a bit annoyed. They are Shetlanders, then British. They skip 'Scottish' (on pain of a pub fight).

See, it's SO simple. *tuts*


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

I think I actually heard my brain go kapow.


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*Morgan le Fay*: Oh, you are an evil witch. But I am your half brother as well as your king, and I see through your wicked plotting. You suggest we produce a book which might sell "like hot cakes", you insult the noble but inexperienced jmoralee (title pending), and then you try to set the different parts of my kingdom at loggerheads.

Now listen, sister. My father's paternal grandmother came from Shetland, my mother's maternal grandfather from Dorset; my father is Scottish and my mother Welsh; I was born in Wales, but lived in Scotland from the age of a few months; and for decades now I have lived in England. I have it all covered, and your evil machinations will get you nowhere. (My fondness for sheep is evidence of the Welsh blood in me, and there will always be a seat at the Beige Bar for any lover of sheep.)

*jmoralee*: A seat at the Beige Bar is yours, John, but we're trying to parallel the Round Table, so you need a suitable name. *Sir Lancelot* (Mr. RAD), *Sir Kay* (George Berger) *Sir Gawain* (Danielle Kazemi) and *Sir Robin* (anne_holly) are already claimed, as are *Squire Patsy* (EStoops), *Guinevere* (Lyndawrites), *Morgan le Fay* (Morgan Gallagher) and *Iseult the Sheep* (Ben White). You can find a list of knights (by no means exhaustive) here. Choose one of these, or any other knight or other Arthurian character who might appeal.


----------



## LadyHawk (Feb 7, 2012)

I do love this thread.

I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere in a tiny village on an island of Greece with only the internet to use as a tool. I spend around nine hours a day promoting myself and my books and to no avail.  

My books don't suck, and there's a huge marketplace place for this genre of fiction. But it's getting the word out. And no matter how many sales I have I'm still going to continue writing and publishing books. Unfortunately, the more titles I have, the more time I have to spend on promotion.


Those that have been good enough to buy and read the book have loved them, and thankfully stayed loyal. I've yet to have a bad review. But it's getting the word out there.

I dare not look at my rankings. And it's too darn depressing to check my sales.

so you've cheered me up to know I'm not alone.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *Morgan le Fay*: Oh, you are an evil witch. But I am your half brother as well as your king, and I see through your wicked plotting. You suggest we produce a book which might sell "like hot cakes", you insult the noble but inexperienced jmoralee (title pending), and then you try to set the different parts of my kingdom at loggerheads.


Why sire, I am only pleased that your noble blood also runs in my veins. Forsooth, would you like me to fetch you some mulled wine? Or a page boy?

*sinks to her knees, all grace and charm, her delightful eyes cast down on the cold stone floor*

Oops. Please don't let anyone stand on my eyes! I'll sort that prose out in a minute! Just off to mix some herbs to settle Arthur's mind stomach..


----------



## jmoralee (Sep 6, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *jmoralee*: A seat at the Beige Bar is yours, John, but we're trying to parallel the Round Table, so you need a suitable name. *Sir Lancelot* (Mr. RAD), *Sir Kay* (George Berger) *Sir Gawain* (Danielle Kazemi) and *Sir Robin* (anne_holly) are already claimed, as are *Squire Patsy* (EStoops), *Guinevere* (Lyndawrites), *Morgan le Fay* (Morgan Gallagher) and *Iseult the Sheep* (Ben White). You can find a list of knights (by no means exhaustive) here. Choose one of these, or any other knight or other Arthurian character who might appeal.


Sire, one thankest thou for thy kind offer of a new name, but me thinks I shall remain with mine owneth for ye time being!

I'm currently on a quest to complete another tome that nobody will want to read. Luckily there's a dragon at my door waiting to burn the manuscript as soon as it is done - just in case I was tempted to release it into the domain of humans.


----------



## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Actually, John, Moralee has nice rhythmic, sing-song ring to it, so I think you could be our minstrel. (Should it please my liege lord to so decree, of course)

"The tall dark knight he rode along, moralee, moralee, hey-nonny-no . . ."


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> Actually, John, Moralee has nice rhythmic, sing-song ring to it, so I think you could be our minstrel. (Should it please my liege lord to so decree, of course)
> 
> "The tall dark knight he rode along, moralee, moralee, hey-nonny-no . . ."


*jmoralee*: I was going to say "Rise, Sir John"...

But my queen hath shown me the rightful path. Henceforth, thou art Moralee the King's minstrel, well beloved of all knights of the Beige Bar. May thy harp ne'er be silent, and thy books ne'er be sold.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> It's TERRIBLY simple.
> 
> Everyone on the mainline island, is in Great Britain. So they are British. That's the Scots, the English, and the Welsh.
> 
> ...


I shall explain right away to my English (and therefore British) friend that this philosophy about the Welsh (and therefore British) are somehow only ever Welshies is nonsense. I'll let you know how it goes....


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

EStoops said:


> I shall explain right away to my English (and therefore British) friend that this philosophy about the Welsh (and therefore British) are somehow only ever Welshies is nonsense. I'll let you know how it goes....


Ah, see. You're mistaking 'how it works technically' for 'what the English thinks happen'. Only in triumph, do Welsh, Irish or Scottish people, become 'British' then.

For instance:

"Scots tennis player loses Wimbledon Final" versus "British Star Wins Wimbledon."

or

"Welsh rugby captain divorces" versus "British team win rugby cup..."

To be fair, it almost works in reverse: "British couple lose Gold Medal" versus "England's Glory Team win Olympic Gold!!"

We really do need Merlin around here. Much as I despise him, he is useful for explaining occult British myth...


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Oh I see. So "British Man Sells 350 million copies of book".... but if he were part of our group "Poor Welsh Author Can't Get a Break"


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

I think I'll be the Black Knight. I'm over here with my legs chopped off and blood spurting out of my shoulders.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Bandages for you, sir?


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

o/~ _Always look on the bright side of life, do do, do do do do_ o/~


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Has this thread jumped the shark?


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

As long as there are successful indies, this thread will live on!


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Well, I've have a productive week,

My rankings are now roughly #551,000 #480,000, and #440,000. I think that works out to about 2 ebooks sold this year so far. This truly is an amazing year...going out to buy my tiara soon!


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Debra Purdy Kong said:


> Well, I've have a productive week,
> 
> My rankings are now roughly #551,000 #480,000, and #440,000. I think that works out to about 2 ebooks sold this year so far. This truly is an amazing year...going out to buy my tiara soon!


Thanks for the welcomed update, Kong. My little masterpiece is back above #400,000 again. With any luck, I'll hit #500,000 or so by the weekend.


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

I think this thread jumped the shark _before it was even created_. Now THAT is success. Baa.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

EStoops said:


> Oh I see. So "British Man Sells 350 million copies of book".... but if he were part of our group "Poor Welsh Author Can't Get a Break"


Yup. Although for our group it would be....

Amazing Success Story of Welsh Author BBofS Award

versus

Shameful British Git Sell Thousands of Ebooks & Is Thrown Out Of Elite Group of True Success


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Almost at 600k ranking. Crossing my fingers and toes to break it soon.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Almost at 600k ranking. Crossing my fingers and toes to break it soon.


Magnificent!


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

I went with Select and had three free days. I got 137 downloads and got under 2000 in the free store, although as we all know free doesn't count. Went off free and bounced right back to ~650,000. So I'm still ahead!


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

I've got one Kindle title at ~629,000. And a paperback at 4.6 million, and one at 5.4 million.

And I still have the top-ranking titles on Amazon.com for the "appalling" and "train wreck" keywords.


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*Jennifer*: I can't say "Rise, Black Knight" - you having no legs, 'n'all. Nonetheless, I dub thee the Black Knight. (Those unacquainted with this doughty fighter may find him 



.)

*Danielle and Debra*: Wonderful, both, wonderful. You are among the noblest knights of the Beige Bar.

*George*: Splendid! Hard-copy sales don't count, but it's still good to have the figures. A ranking of 5.4 million... Has a real ring to it, don't you think? Five point four million...

*Roshawn (Mr. RAD)*:
Oh no, this thread's not jumped the shark -
In fact, it never can.
As the Sheep says, the shark was jumped
Before the thread began.

*Ben White*: Baa baa! Baa baa baa. Baa?

*Lurkers*: Come and join us at the Beige Bar. Give us some figures. What's your ranking? How many sales have you made? Some of us here have had _free_ books returned. Can you match that? Can't, can you?


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## cecilia_writer (Dec 28, 2010)

Iain Manson said:


> *Lurkers*: Come and join us at the Beige Bar. Give us some figures. What's your ranking? How many sales have you made? Some of us here have had _free_ books returned. Can you match that? Can't, can you?


On the contrary - I have been extremely successful at having free books returned - 27 of them in the last 6 weeks.
In other ways I'm afraid I've just been an almost complete failure except in Italy, so it's with a heavy heart that I ride off into the sunset and exile myself once again from the Beige Bar.


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## miamiajp (Jan 28, 2012)

I have been following this thread since you started it and did not put my name on the list because 
A) My book is not finished and I only have the Prelude available 
B) The Prelude is on Scribd not Kindle
C) I have it available for free so technically Im not "selling" anything yet
Also I have a grand total of 68 hits on it since I published it about 3 weeks ago. 
However...
I just realized about 65 of those "hits" have been myself checking on it to see if anybody read it.
So here I am, I think I deserve full membership if not a place on the top 5 with a grand total of about 3 real hits in 3 weeks.
Woohoo!
Eat your hearts out,
Albert.
PS: I am not even counting the tragic fact that I have been working on this novel for almost 30 years which probably would constitute a Guiness record.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

miamiajp said:


> I have been following this thread since you started it and did not put my name on the list because
> A) My book is not finished and I only have the Prelude available
> B) The Prelude is on Scribd not Kindle
> C) I have it available for free so technically Im not "selling" anything yet
> ...


Given your testimony, you seem destined to be a member of this club. Once you publish we will definitely welcome you with open arms.

We're waiting.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Yes, it seems you are likely destined to arrive here among the truly successful.


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Almost at 600k ranking. Crossing my fingers and toes to break it soon.


I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. My first book Taxed to Death reached 555,000 today. It's climbing so slowly, though.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

597k right now. Getting closer. Lol


----------



## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Spurrred on by all your marvellous efforts, I decided to check my ranking on Amazon.com - usually, I only look at .co.uk - kand found I have a ranking of 643,131!

I've had 4 Amazon.com sales since publication last October and still have the full house of BBOS's for February.

A true queenly performance, that I hope will inspire you all.


----------



## portiadacosta (Feb 28, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> Spurrred on by all your marvellous efforts, I decided to check my ranking on Amazon.com - usually, I only look at .co.uk - kand found I have a ranking of 643,131!
> 
> I've had 4 Amazon.com sales since publication last October and still have the full house of BBOS's for February.
> 
> A true queenly performance, that I hope will inspire you all.


Magnificent!


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

I counter with four no sales at all in the UK. LOL Very well done on the 643k. I will work harder to get there soon.


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## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

Very soon, I should have my third book in the 400,000s and within a week or so, I should have my third book in the 700,000s. 

May that be an inspiration to all of you striving for the big numbers.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Some terrific sales ranks being thrown around here. Haven't had any hiccups in almost two weeks, so my book's sales rank is almost 440,000.

But I have an ingenious plan in the works. I'm removing all the Early Modern English from my book and going with current English (w/o many contractions). The first chapter of a new unrelated book will be added to the end of it. In addition to increasing its word count and raising its price from $0.99 to $2.16 ($1/10k words), enrolling it in KDP Select is being strongly considered as well.

These things ought to increase its suckage/suck appeal and keep readers away.

And now, a sales update...

I recently completed 13 straight months of BBoS glory for B&N and all foreign Amazon markets. Over 400 days of pure Turdiness, a feat that is unlikely to be rivaled by any indie touting stats in this thread. At the current rate, it'll be 14 months. As for this month , not a single sale anywhere on Amazon. A Royal Flush.

Recognize greatness, y'all.







to da man.


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

My hat's off to you and Lynda. I'm still trying to get there.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

What amazing figures! It gives one hope.

I too, have had some success, recently, although I'm too modest to quote numbers. (Which, if you'll remember, I don't look at.)

But I've also been put on stamp! A real one! No doubt, you will all follow!










Truly, fame does await us all. or was that infamy...? I'm not sure they got my eyes quite right...


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Eyes, hell, those are some quite carefully groomed eyebrows for the 6th century, methinks.


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

Has a trend started? Baa.


----------



## Rex Jameson (Mar 8, 2011)

I fell off the wagon this month and in December, and I wanted to apologize formally to the group. January was a decent month. I had no sales on B&N and all other outlets but I think a small family of four heard about me on Twitter when I linked to a Rachel Bloom video on Twitter, and they found me on Amazon through a link on my blog or something. I take credit for these sales, and I know I shouldn't have done it, but that's not even the worst part.

In late January, I tried KDP select (weakness--terrible, awful weakness), and offered my book for free--which meant I wouldn't get any revenue for the rest of January because at the time all of my books were free. In theory, without a way to make money, I figured I was still fulfilling my obligations to the thread. Then things took a turn for the worse. When the free book went paid, it went onto some lists that some crazy customers look at, and they just started buying the darned thing. I honestly had little to do with this. I didn't make the books better or more engaging since last month. It was just a small, exclusive, temporary program. It seemed harmless enough. I blame the algorithms. Of course, that's a convenient excuse and a coward's way out. I know this. You don't have to tell me.

Anyway, I'm sorry. This month has seen more sales and lower rankings than I ever should have done to retain membership here, and I know I'm a fool and a nincompoop for even opening the door and standing here--dripping vile wetness on the carpet. But I want to make this right. I plan on responding to all reviews with vitriol and personal attacks until these sales disappear. 1 star or 5 star, it doesn't matter. I'll bring their favorite uncles into this. Aunts. Cousins. Children and husbands. Whatever it takes. Because you deserve better than this. I have to make this right.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Rex Jameson said:


> I fell off the wagon this month and in December, and I wanted to apologize formally to the group. January was a decent month. I had no sales on B&N and all other outlets but I think a small family of four heard about me on Twitter when I linked to a Rachel Bloom video on Twitter, and they found me on Amazon through a link on my blog or something. I take credit for these sales, and I know I shouldn't have done it, but that's not even the worst part.
> 
> In late January, I tried KDP select (weakness--terrible, awful weakness), and offered my book for free--which meant I wouldn't get any revenue for the rest of January because at the time all of my books were free. In theory, without a way to make money, I figured I was still fulfilling my obligations to the thread. Then things took a turn for the worse. When the free book went paid, it went onto some lists that some crazy customers look at, and they just started buying the darned thing. I honestly had little to do with this. I didn't make the books better or more engaging since last month. It was just a small, exclusive, temporary program. It seemed harmless enough. I blame the algorithms. Of course, that's a convenient excuse and a coward's way out. I know this. You don't have to tell me.
> 
> Anyway, I'm sorry. This month has seen more sales and lower rankings than I ever should have done to retain membership here, and I know I'm a fool and a nincompoop for even opening the door and standing here--dripping vile wetness on the carpet. But I want to make this right. I plan on responding to all reviews with vitriol and personal attacks until these sales disappear. 1 star or 5 star, it doesn't matter. I'll bring their favorite uncles into this. Aunts. Cousins. Children and husbands. Whatever it takes. Because you deserve better than this. I have to make this right.


Your contrition is admirable, but fall again this month and I'm afraid it's the boot.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

I have my foot poised to give you a swift kick off this thread Rex. You better start coming up with degrading comments to those reviewers. Remember most love being talk to in ALL CAPS. It really gets your point across.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> I have my foot poised to give you a swift kick off this thread Rex. You better start coming up with degrading comments to those reviewers. Remember most love being talk to in ALL CAPS. It really gets your point across.


And use text talk. Keeps you hip with the youngs.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> And use text talk. Keeps you hip with the youngs.


^ This. Srsly. txtspk ftw!!11


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## sabrinasumsion (Jun 19, 2010)

I'm rolling here!   

Wait, serious time.    I'm in the same boat with Rex.  I put Produce, Publish, Publicize up on kdp for 2 years and ignored it. I was proud to report the majority of months with zero sales.  Now, I used knowledge gained from Victorine Lieske and other woefully unsuccessful authors on Kindleboards and tried a free promotion.  I'm ashamed to have broken into the three digits ranks in sales after coming off free.  Tears are slipping from my eyes as I report that I earned back all my costs with Jasmine: Energy Book 1 in the same month I published.

What's worse?  I'm an addict.  I keep using free days.  One day wasn't enough.  Next, I had to have two days free to get the high I craved. Now, I have PPP free for 3 days chasing that high again.  I need help.  Amazon is cutting me off after Monday.  The crash will be traumatic.

Commence the flogging.  Maybe that pain will cover my withdrawal symptoms.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

You were just unlucky, that's all.

I tried Free a couple of times. Socially, y'know? Everyone else was doing it...

First time I did it, nothing. Literally nothing. Nobody had actually _bought_ that book yet, so I still had zero sales rank when it went back to paid. It was awesome. The only way it could have been more awesome is if I'd picked up some verified-purchase reviews for a book with no sales rank, but, alas, I'm not _that_ lucky.

Second time, there were some regrettable issues with the book showing up in the 30-day new-releases list, so the four-digit sales rank was a bit of a letdown. That quickly faded, happily, and the book returned to a sales rank close to 300,000.

Went free a third time, gave away 175 copies in one day and went from a 135,000 sales rank (someone had borrowed the book; well, it's better than their paying money, right?) to 175,000.

Wait patiently, and try again. Eventually you'll get lucky, as I have.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

sabrinasumsion said:


> I'm in the same boat with Rex. I put Produce, Publish, Publicize up on kdp for 2 years and ignored it. I was proud to report the majority of months with zero sales. Now, I used knowledge gained from Victorine Lieske and other woefully unsuccessful authors on Kindleboards and tried a free promotion. I'm ashamed to have broken into the three digits ranks in sales after coming off free. Tears are slipping from my eyes as I report that I earned back all my costs with Jasmine: Energy Book 1 in the same month I published.
> 
> What's worse? I'm an addict. I keep using free days. One day wasn't enough. Next, I had to have two days free to get the high I craved. Now, I have PPP free for 3 days chasing that high again. I need help. Amazon is cutting me off after Monday. The crash will be traumatic.
> 
> Commence the flogging. Maybe that pain will cover my withdrawal symptoms.


You and Rex both are getting mighty close to being exiled from this thread.


----------



## Lindzz (Jan 15, 2012)

I read the first couple of pages of posts and the last page in this thread.  I love the humour I've found here and the way everybody is able to poke fun at themselves, and everyone is taking low sales and rankings in their stride.  I fit right in with approximately 10 sales in January, none yet for February, but my first ever 'borrow' on KDP select.

Hope I too can soon get to the stage where I can laugh it all off, but right now, it's just getting me down.   Better go back to the thread and resume reading - the comments and quips were actually beginning to raise my spirits.


----------



## sabrinasumsion (Jun 19, 2010)

Lindzz, If you want to be grossly unsuccessful, you have to keep working at your craft, network like crazy, give away a lot of books and write sequels.  Oh yeah, and for that guaranteed kick out of our big boy and girl club here, cross promote your other works at the end of each book.  That's a big nail in your coffin.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

You sold ten whole books in January? That is mighty close to being too many for membership. As for trying free, the same thing happened to me. Went free, did a decent job of giving away my book, but then when people realized it might cost money, things changed. Free helped me realize I will be setting up residence here forever.


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## j_call (Dec 31, 2011)

Great thread. 

I personally received about $10  of sales last quarter (thank you Smashwords ) so I'm not sure I can entirely relate the core sentiments of this thread but...I do sympathize with it.   If my sales continue on this way I'll be able to buy that matching long sleeve T and cap I've been eyeing since last year - don't wanna jinx it though. =-X

I've had the same experience with free books and I'm not sure if doing so actually resulted in 'lucrative exposure.' Or I guess I can say I'm sure that it most probably _did __not _lol


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## Lindzz (Jan 15, 2012)

I appreciate the advice - just wish I had more work to cross-promote with!  Well, I'm working on it, but considering this book took me 10 years to write and publish (on and off) there's no telling when the next one will be ready!  I'm aiming for Christmas but that may well be wishful thinking. 

Still, I've a feeling that by that time, I'll still more than qualify for this thread!


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Lindzz said:


> I appreciate the advice - just wish I had more work to cross-promote with! Well, I'm working on it, but considering this book took me 10 years to write and publish (on and off) there's no telling when the next one will be ready! I'm aiming for Christmas but that may well be wishful thinking.
> 
> Still, I've a feeling that by that time, I'll still more than qualify for this thread!


Lindzz.... I'm just not seeing the kind of effort out of you that defines the real winners in this thread. I do applaud you for realizing that it just isn't enough to fail with one book -- but Christmas? Sheesh. People will have forgotten ALL ABOUT you by then. You'll be just like a new author breaking into the scene. Easy peasy, in those circumstances to stay below the readers' radar. And your cover -- ordinary. Dear, it's not enough to fail like this, you need to fall from a tremendous height to get our (grudging) respect!

If you can't cross promote to get a few stories higher before the descent, try a few free days, try a few blog tours/reviews. Update your Author Info on Shelfari and Goodreads. Smack your book on Facebook. Chat it up to strangers. This is how you become one of those people about which we don't speak, OR, a monumentous failure worthy of applause.


----------



## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

Five star review on Library thing, AND a sale of one of my novels today.  Today has been an embarrassment.


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

Only time to pick out a few highlights, I'm afraid, but here they are.

*miamiajp*: Can you be sure that 65 out of 68 hits came from you? For many sites, hits sourced to your computer don't count. But you do sound promising. A place at the Beige Bar awaits.

*Debra, Danielle, Lynda, Anne*: No praise is high enough. (Nor any ranking.)

*Roshawn (Mr. RAD)*: Oh, noble Sir Lancelot! The early modern English was a shield beyond compare. And now you throw it away as if it were nothing! Fight on, my champion, fight on!

*Morgan le Fay and Iseult the Sheep*: Splendid stamps. Congratulations, both. (Which isn't to say I trust you, Morgan. I'm still watching you.)

*Rex*: In the words of EStoops, "Your contrition is admirable, but fall again this month and I'm afraid it's the boot." Last chance, then, but you must pull out all the stops. Responding to reviews "with vitriol and personal attacks" would normally be frowned on here as a bit obvious, but needs must when the devils buy, so we'll allow it. Danielle is right about using ALL CAPS. They'll hate that. Morgan may have a point about txtspk, but there are those who like it, so be careful...

*Sabrina*: Come on, Sabrina, you can do better than this! Read George's words carefully, and take heart. But as Roshawn says, you're awfully close to the edge...

*Steve (Kathelm)*: Keep your chin up, Steve! We all have bad days. And I just know you're better than that!

*Linda (Lindzz) and Jessa (j-call)*: Both trolls, both banned. (*EStoops*, don't waste time on people like these. They're not worth it.)

*The Holy Grail*: And now we come to the main point of this post. Last night I dreamed a dream. The Lord McGonagall Himself appeared to me, and revealed the whereabouts of the Holy Grail. It may be found at _the one millionth ranking ebook_ at the Amazon.com Kindle Store. My nobler knights are already more than half way there, and I know it can be done. As more evildoers join the lists, so they will force up the rankings of the Beige Bar faithful. Onward and upward, my knights, onward and upward!


----------



## Lindzz (Jan 15, 2012)

EStoops, I'm way ahead of you!  When I checked out my Twitter page, I had an astounding 3 - yes THREE- followers!  Beat that! 

Lindzz


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Another week down. No sale yet this month anywhere. All Royal Flush glory.

Don't hate. Congratulate.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Lindzz said:


> EStoops, I'm way ahead of you! When I checked out my Twitter page, I had an astounding 3 - yes THREE- followers! Beat that!
> 
> Lindzz


Sounds like a good start. But consider the following as a comparison -- I 'sold' almost 600 copies when my book was free. Lo and Behold, it has sold ONE copy since then. And someone returned a free copy. Now granted, I'm just a a midlister in this group, but come on, those numbers ain't shabby!


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

My success is wearing off on those I do business with.

Cover designer: Late with my cover, and now claims they somehow can't upload the file, 'cause it's too big or something. Indefinitely delaying the release of an abysmal not-a-romance story I was hoping to have out for Valentine's...

Interior illustrator for a different title: 1/3rd done with one of two illustrations for a different title. Commissioned in December, they were both supposed to be done on February 1st. Hasn't started the other. Not a big deal, since I haven't finished the book yet, my self-imposed 14 Feb deadline having fallen victim to illness, apathy, and an adorable but productivity-sapping stray cat that wandered by last week.

Also, weekends are pretty much the only time I ever sell books, but so far, nothing, this weekend. I'm not sure why I even check.

Still, look on the bright side; I'm still an unqualified success. And I've got another cat.


----------



## Rex Jameson (Mar 8, 2011)

George Berger said:


> Still, look on the bright side; I'm still an unqualified success. And I've got another cat.


I have noticed that cats do make things better, especially when they're making biscuits on you while you're writing and in general, being adorable.


----------



## Hugh Howey (Feb 11, 2012)

Iain Manson said:


> Headmaster speaking.
> 
> All right, boys and girls, things are getting a little better, but still not good enough.
> 
> ...


I'm crying over here. Seriously. I had to read half of these replies to my wife.

Do you write humorous novels? If so, please stop. There's no telling how horrendously successful you might become.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

I...I have no idea what happened late last night. I can only assume someone in an alcoholic enduced fit of Amazon buying went through and bought a copy of my book. So far, okay. Then this morning I noticed that same person (based upon not selling another one of that book) went through and bought a copy of the other five! My 600k is gone. Instead, I wallow around the 150k now. I am grief stricken and disheartened now.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

What does Google know that I don't?








I could be a wee bit biased, seeing as I wrote my first novel and everything, but I don't really see how that particular title is related to mine...

Also, thanks, Google, for picking the book's sole one-star review to display...


----------



## sabrinasumsion (Jun 19, 2010)

I'm so sorry!  I promise to do better (worse).


----------



## Shiromi (Jul 5, 2011)

Dang, I was doing so well! After my freebie giveaway I got not a single sale on either of my books for three whole weeks... and then, a borrow, which apparently does affect my numbers... Rats... I almost went a whole month without a single sale/borrow... so close... Next time.


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Oh, the shame of it all. Just when I was receiving Iain's praise today, ranking on my latest mystery went from 480,000, to 122,000. Alas, someone actually bought a copy and egad, I was ranked #81 in Kindle mysteries for about five minutes. I think I blushed.

Oddly, my self-published mysteries, which sell for $3.99 and have over 30 reviews between the two books don't sell, while my traditionally published book which is $7.69 and has all of 2 reviews, is the one that's going like wild fire - 3 this year! Granted the cover on _The Opposite of Dark _ is good, but still....

The upside is that my Alex Bellamy mystery, _Taxed to Death _ ranking is now up to 556,000 and the sequel _Fatal Encryption _ is raging behind at about 482,000! So, I think I'm still qualified to stay 
the


----------



## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> Another week down. No sale yet this month anywhere. All Royal Flush glory.
> 
> Don't hate. Congratulate.


Verily, Lancelot, my sweet knight, I do congratulate you. Well done to you, Sir. I, too, have no sales this month. Amazon's BBOS continues, Smashwords is an arid plain, a true Slough of Despond (truly meriting those 'friendly bombs').
We should celebrate our success together (pssst! Only, don't let Arthur know.)

Guinevere.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> I...I have no idea what happened late last night. I can only assume someone in an alcoholic enduced fit of Amazon buying went through and bought a copy of my book. So far, okay. Then this morning I noticed that same person (based upon not selling another one of that book) went through and bought a copy of the other five! My 600k is gone. Instead, I wallow around the 150k now. I am grief stricken and disheartened now.


Few things are as horrible as watching a high six-figure rank shrink considerably due to one sale. I feel your pain. 



Lyndawrites said:


> Verily, Lancelot, my sweet knight, I do congratulate you. Well done to you, Sir. I, too, have no sales this month. Amazon's BBOS continues, Smashwords is an arid plain, a true Slough of Despond (truly meriting those 'friendly bombs').
> We should celebrate our success together (pssst! Only, don't let Arthur know.)
> 
> Guinevere.


I won't tell if you won't.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

We successful writers cannot be held responsible for the erratic and unpredictable nature of readers. Sadly, they just do what they're going to do, with little thought for we writerly types.

My latest embarrassment was published today on KDP. Imagine my distress when, despite the forthright and compelling description warning people not to buy it, I woke up this morning to discover _someone had purchased it already_, within an hour or two of it appearing for sale...

Surely I can't be held accountable for this unfortunate horror, can I?


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

George Berger said:


> We successful writers cannot be held responsible for the erratic and unpredictable nature of readers. Sadly, they just do what they're going to do, with little thought for we writerly types.
> 
> My latest embarrassment was published today on KDP. Imagine my distress when, despite the forthright and compelling description warning people not to buy it, I woke up this morning to discover _someone had purchased it already_, within an hour or two of it appearing for sale...
> 
> Surely I can't be held accountable for this unfortunate horror, can I?


I don't think so. I mean.... that's like driving down a road that says "Warning: Bridge Out Ahead" at 80 miles an hour. You really can't be held responsible for that sort of dumb.


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

George Berger said:


> We successful writers cannot be held responsible for the erratic and unpredictable nature of readers. Sadly, they just do what they're going to do, with little thought for we writerly types.
> 
> My latest embarrassment was published today on KDP. Imagine my distress when, despite the forthright and compelling description warning people not to buy it, I woke up this morning to discover _someone had purchased it already_, within an hour or two of it appearing for sale...
> 
> Surely I can't be held accountable for this unfortunate horror, can I?


No, no, this is an anomaly probably caused by sunspot activity.

Just don't let it happen again.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Ben White said:


> No, no, this is an anomaly probably caused by sunspot activity.
> 
> Just don't let it happen again.


I'm trying my darndest, y'know. I mean, horrible writing + horrible blurb + $5 cover ought to be a recipe for instant indie success, but it seems to require something more.

So far, just the one sunspot-induced anomaly, happily, and the sales rank is already well on the way to 200,000...


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Well, I'm not sure what to make of this....six sales have popped me onto a bestseller list.

In the next week, we'll know if my time with you has grown short, or if indeed, I just fall from the height of heights.

Because if I'm going to fail, after hitting the best-seller list, that's quite the achievement. 

But I suspects.... I suspects my time with you is nearly up.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

EStoops said:


> Well, I'm not sure what to make of this....six sales have popped me onto a bestseller list.
> 
> In the next week, we'll know if my time with you has grown short, or if indeed, I just fall from the height of heights.
> 
> ...


A bestseller list?!









I fear that you're living on borrowed time here in this thread, my friend. Should you get the gold-tipped boot within the next few days, just know that it's been an honor standing on the front lines with you. And though we cannot all fail as miserably as you have, if I had my choice, I'd go out in the same manner.

Here's hoping you can turn things around and remain with us.

_**Seriously, congratulations. I hope your ranking reaches single digits and stay there for a lengthy period of time. May your sales flourish._


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Hang in there, George! Things can only get worse better!


----------



## Vella Munn (Nov 30, 2010)

I'm a virgin here so please be gentle. Much as I'd like to yuck it up, I have a serious question and am looking for explanation/help/hand holding, whatever.

To explain, I've been writing erotica for a number of publishers as Vonna Harper before rising to a friend's challenge by indie publishing Carnal Captive on Kindle in Jan. CC is pretty darn raw--bondage and BDSM. It sold close to 40 copies at $5.95 the first month with one return. So far this month 43 copies have sold but there have been 7 returns. That's what I can't understand. I put a disclaimer front and center at http://www.amazon.com/Carnal-Captive-ebook/dp/B006UWPIRW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1329246816&sr=1-1 and the cover shouldn't leave any doubt of what readers are getting in. Have I freaked them out? I Googled to see if a pirate was flinging CC around the universe but didn't come across anything.

Could someone buy, quickly read and then return it? Now there's a scary thought.

Anyone else have something like this happen?
Vonna Harper


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

That might be worth a thread of its own, really. I know people get returns, but not usually at that high a rate.


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## John Barlow (Oct 16, 2011)

My book just became the 89th most purchased British police procedural in the uk today!
Eat shit Lee Child!

JohnB


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Yeah, you might need to start your own thread about that. I know nothing about erotica but there are a lot more seasoned authors of that genre around here.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

If nothing else, with 40 sales a month, you're very much in the wrong thread.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

George Berger said:


> If nothing else, with 40 sales a month, you're very much in the wrong thread.


Actually given the nature of the genre....he may have quite the point.

Also, I am eager to report that I am no longer on the best-seller list. It appears that it was merely a blip. We can all calm down. Your favorite welsh patsy remains you dear, loyal companion.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

EStoops, you really are a true successful author. Glad you are staying here in Sellalot.


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*Danielle*: You've had a horrible shock, I know. But if one swallow doesn't make a summer, no more does one turkey make a winter. You can come through this. We're all thinking of you at this difficult time.

*George*: There's something going on here. Amazon decides that _Mendacities_ is "related" to _Eskimo Nell_, and the next thing you know, the work you describe as your "latest embarrassment" sells a copy as soon as it's published. I suppose, as Ben says, this may be an anomaly due to sunspot activity, but I don't like it.

*Debra*: To be ranked #81 in any genre, even "for about five minutes" is not good. See that it doesn't happen again.

*EStoops*: Thank God things are back to normal. Sellalot (Thank you, Danielle) wouldn't have been the same without you.

*Troll alert*: *John Barlow* is a troll, and is banned. See you in hell, JB!

*All Knights of the Beige Bar*: Keep in mind that what we are looking for is the first ebook to rank at one million in the Amazon.com Kindle Store. Of course, we'll all get there in the end... but who will be first?

*Off topic*
*Vella Munn*: Sell books, do ya? Well, Vonna, we don't like your sort around here. But as regards the returns, I too have wondered about people reading a book quickly, then demanding their money back. Jennifer is right: you should start a thread on the topic. In the meantime, you might want to have a look at this.

*Hugh Howie*: Thank you for crying, Hugh. Especially for crying seriously. This thread is all about tears. As it happens, I _have_ written one supposedly humorous novel. One commentator said she didn't understand why it was tagged as comedy, since she thought it "such a sad story". And in the words of one of my two Amazon reviewers: "... the book lurches from chapter to chapter with all the grace of an inebriated soul trying to walk in a circle..." There are people here who would kill for such an endorsement.


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## Beatriz (Feb 22, 2011)

arodera said:


> It seems a great thread, congratulations!
> 
> I just landed on Amazon and not sell thousands of books, most like me. Also, my novel is written in Spanish, so that the difficulties are greater. But I'm proud of my sales do not come away a hundred copies. Yes, with one book in two months of publication.
> 
> ...


I was thinking of translating my book to Spanish for the Spanish community because I thought there would be a big market for it but your post tells me that's not the case. Why is that? With such a big Spanish speaking public?


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Things are taking a dangerous turn. "Pocket" is hovering at less than 100k, rankwise. However, it is taking a steady upturn. But one or two more sales might pop me RIGHT back on the Alternative History best seller list (take that with a grain of salt -- it appears that this would make me a big fish in a small pond.) However, fear not for my soul -- "Emelle" is headed steadily towards the safety of 400k rankings.

Be worried my friends -- my sacrifices for the effort might have been too much.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Iain, it's not Amazon that thinks my YA novel is related to Eskimo Nell, but the almighty Google.

It's still a mystery, though.

Thankfully, my latest atrocity hasn't sold anything else, and is now down to a more agreeable 225,000 rank.


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## Rhynedahll (Oct 23, 2010)

Sad to say, I check in on this thread occasionally to feel good about my own marginal sales.

Somewhat like the tale about the man who cried because he had no shoes until he met a man with no feet. (Or something like that!)

Keep it up folks!  You're providing a valuable service!


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## TexasGirl (Dec 21, 2011)

I stayed away for weeks because I actually got my first borrow in Select and felt contrite, unworthy of all your majestic company.

But I'd like to report that it was some sort of odd anomoly, and never happened again, so I hope you will welcome me back to the fold despite this solitary indiscretion.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

I think borrows are acceptable, in moderation. After all, it's a reader deciding "Y'know, this isn't worth spending actual money on," and I feel that sort of valuable feedback is not to be sneered at.


----------



## TexasGirl (Dec 21, 2011)

Thank you, George. I think we can safely assume the borrower had no idea s/he was limited to one per month, or mine would not have been chosen.


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

I'm happy to report that I'm back on the road to recovery. That single sale last weekend which lowered my ranking on Opposite of Dark to 122,000 is well over 300,000. Still up there with Taxed to Death #556,000, and about #482,000 with Fatal Encryption. Whew! I was getting worried for awhile.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Another week of BBoS bliss down the drain. All aces here. You know what that means. 

Also worthy of note is my book's ranking. Yes, everyone, my book has reached 500,000 again. Gettin' jiggy wit it.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Well, this is new -- my book is selling and it's rank is going up.......


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

EStoops said:


> Well, this is new -- my book is selling and it's rank is going up.......


The door is over there....


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> The door is over there....


No no no, you misunderstand. I sold two copies. And my rank climbed from the mid 100ks, to about 2220k.

That sounds suspiciously like successful failure.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

EStoops said:


> No no no, you misunderstand. I sold two copies. And my rank climbed from the mid 100ks, to about 2220k.
> 
> That sounds suspiciously like successful failure.


My Goodness! Have you informed the king of this, that you have found the Holy Grail? You sell books AND drop in the rankings!!!!

I suspect magick. Dark magick. Wanna come to tea...?


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## CHobbes (Feb 12, 2012)

EStoops said:


> Well, this is new -- my book is selling and it's rank is going up.......


I will confess to a) buying _Being Emelle_ and enjoying it immensely b) enjoying this thread too . I'm working on a novel and hope to join soon.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> My Goodness! Have you informed the king of this, that you have found the Holy Grail? You sell books AND drop in the rankings!!!!
> 
> I suspect magick. Dark magick. Wanna come to tea...?


I think it can ONLY occur when selling low volumes on an otherwise busy weekend.... or dark magick. i like the dark magick explanation better though. And I would be more than thrilled to have tea with one so lovely as thee.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

CHobbes said:


> I will confess to a) buying _Being Emelle_ and enjoying it immensely b) enjoying this thread too . I'm working on a novel and hope to join soon.


 Unofficially:  * incomprehensible noises and chair boogie*

Officially, of course, I have to ask you how you could do such a thing to a fellow failure. So close.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Now we need to hold a trial and see if you float. Standard witchcraft procedures. Or should we be testing the book? If it sinks, it is indeed an impressive book. If it floats, we must destroy it for it may lead to the destruction of the kingdom.


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## Neil Ostroff (Mar 25, 2011)

I've done free promos and marketed relentlessly. I've "sold" a total of 2,735 copies of my five books since Dec 1st. Of that, @ 275 copies were actually paid for. It seems to be increasing about 30% each month.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Neil Ostroff said:


> I've done free promos and marketed relentlessly. I've "sold" a total of 2,735 copies of my five books since Dec 1st. Of that, @ 275 copies were actually paid for. It seems to be increasing about 30% each month.


Not sure you've actually read this thread....


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Neil Ostroff said:


> I've done free promos and marketed relentlessly. I've "sold" a total of 2,735 copies of my five books since Dec 1st. Of that, @ 275 copies were actually paid for. It seems to be increasing about 30% each month.


Congratulations, you've sold more in two-and-a-half months than I've sold in eighteen.

You're still in the wrong thread, though.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Bugger!!!!

Someone must have bought a book.  I was counting down the days until I got to 500 000, and now I'm up at 200 000 plus something!

*grits teeth*

Dark magicks abound, indeed..... 

See, what you've all done to me.  I now check my rating!  (When I don't check my sales!)

*off to read some entrails*


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

EStoops said:


> No no no, you misunderstand. I sold two copies. And my rank climbed from the mid 100ks, to about 2220k.
> 
> That sounds suspiciously like successful failure.


Maybe it means that the 2 sold copies were returned?? One can always hope.


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Neil Ostroff said:


> I've done free promos and marketed relentlessly. I've "sold" a total of 2,735 copies of my five books since Dec 1st. Of that, @ 275 copies were actually paid for. It seems to be increasing about 30% each month.


I think you're on the wrong thread!


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Neil took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. Lol You better check your map again. Over 200 sales moves you into the next town over.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Neil Ostroff said:


> I've done free promos and marketed relentlessly. I've "sold" a total of 2,735 copies of my five books since Dec 1st. Of that, @ 275 copies were actually paid for. It seems to be increasing about 30% each month.


 Yep, he's in the wrong thread.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

I'm pleased to report on my latest success. After an unfortunate setback with my latest short story, where someone foolishly paid good money for it within hours of its publication, I've had it go free, in the hopes of thus satisfying whatever miniscule and limited market might exist for the wretched thing without experiencing any guilt over people spending their hard-earned money on it.

Well, I'm happy to say that thanks to the wonderful description, lovely cover, and Krista's extremely moving endorsement, I've managed to give away somewhat less than one-hundred copies in thirty-six hours. This time tomorrow I should be back to a paid sales rank around 300,000, and then all will be as it should.


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*Pep talk*

Now listen, all of you, and listen carefully. I'm sorry to say that a note of complacency is creeping into this thread, and I don't like it. You know the kind of thing:

_I had a nasty scare recently when my book's rank went from 500,000 to 100,000 overnight. It seems that some idiot bought two copies by mistake. But now it's back at 485,000. I've nothing to worry about.

I was up at 250,000 a week ago. Last night I broke 300,000. Nothing can stop me now.

I wrote my book in blood, I marketed it in sweat. Gallons of both. But it's pushing 400,000, and I feel I'm on the way._

Well, without even working especially hard, I have found a book in the .com Kindle Store with a ranking (at the time of writing) of 833,865. To identify it would be beneath my dignity, but what does this say of the efforts of the Beige Bar faithful?

So let's have a little less self-congratulation, please. And a little more commitment.



CHobbes said:


> I will confess to a) buying _Being Emelle_ and enjoying it immensely b) enjoying this thread too . I'm working on a novel and hope to join soon.


This really won't do. Buying a book by a knight of the Beige Bar is criminal, and describing it in a way which might persuade others to do likewise is beyond words.

However, since *EStoops*, only begetter of said _Being Emelle_, has had the generosity of spirit to forgive you, I too will allow you this one indiscretion. We await the publication of your novel, and wish you a tremendous flop.

*Troll alert*: *Neil Ostroff* is indeed a troll, and is hereby terminated.


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## MartinWrites (Aug 17, 2011)

Let's do this properly:

Six and a half months, 1 book, all channels/outlets: 56 sales.

Am I successful?!?


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

MartinWrites said:


> Let's do this properly:
> 
> Six and a half months, 1 book, all channels/outlets: 56 sales.
> 
> Am I successful?!?


It's possible that there is some strange devious world in which two sales a week is considered a success, but I'm afraid that land of unicorns and faeries and double rainbows and tax-deductible pornography, however magical and wonderful, is not the one in which we live.

Sell two books a _month_, and then we'll talk. Until you reach those lofty heights, I'm afraid this thread is, alas, not for you. Try harder, and I'm sure that success will come, in time.


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## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

> Sell two books a month, and then we'll talk. Until you reach those lofty heights, I'm afraid this thread is, alas, not for you. Try harder, and I'm sure that success will come, in time.


It seems to me that insidious forces outside this safe haven are conspiring to lower the standards for success.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Kathelm said:


> It seems to me that insidious forces outside this safe haven are conspiring to lower the standards for success.


Two sales a month will provide a sales rank that frequently dips to 300,000, which I think many of us can agree is a passable threshold for rudimentary success. Oh, it's not the gold medal of a 500,000 sales rank, nor the special recognition of -1 sales for the month, or the lifetime achievement of a 800,000 Kindle sales rank, but it's a _start_...

...and it's a damn sight better than two sales a _week_, natch.


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## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

My intent was to back you up.  Two sales per month is perfectly respectable.


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## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

This is a very inspirational and comforting thread, sort of like the tuna casserole my mom used to make when I was a kid. I just published my first three stories about a week ago. No sales yet. I'd like to achieve a sort of infamy with them, as they were written to elicit hate mail. Perhaps an across the board 100% return rate? Also, some abusive reviews. That would be awesome.

Newbie question: what kind of number does the worst selling Kindle book achieve? Is it over a million?


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

JacksonJones said:


> Newbie question: what kind of number does the worst selling Kindle book achieve? Is it over a million?


Not quite, not yet. I've seen a few on .com close to 800,000, and Iain recently reported one over 833,000. I'd guess the lowest-ranked book right now is probably close to 900,000, with a whole lot of books with no sales rank at all, never having had a paid sale or KLL loan.

It's good that you're pursuing success with seriousness and determination. Have you considered going free via KDP select? You could then achieve the highly enviable feat of having multiple legitimate non-sockpuppet reviews - negative, we of course hope - while having _no sales rank at all_. I know it's a long shot, but never be afraid to dream...


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

JacksonJones said:


> This is a very inspirational and comforting thread, sort of like the tuna casserole my mom used to make when I was a kid. I just published my first three stories about a week ago. No sales yet. I'd like to achieve a sort of infamy with them, as they were written to elicit hate mail. Perhaps an across the board 100% return rate? Also, some abusive reviews. That would be awesome.
> 
> Newbie question: what kind of number does the worst selling Kindle book achieve? Is it over a million?


Good to have you with us, Jackson. I thought I'd welcome you personally, since you show such an excellent attitude. Not everyone has it in them to be a monumental failure, but when I look at you, I see real Beige Bar potential. (I'm tempted to do you a return just to get you up and running, but that would be cheating.)

Learn from past masters of defensive selling such as George Berger, Mr. RAD, EStoops, Danielle Kazemi, Iseult the Sheep, and many others. Read them and learn.

We are the shield wall at Hastings, we are the British squares at Waterloo, we are the 20th Maine on Little Round Top... _Ils n'achèteront pas!_


----------



## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Happy to report my US ranking has dipped even further and now stands at 667,397! Only 6 days left in February and still a complete BBOS and nowt at all -ever! - from Smashwords & friends.

George Berger - I don't want to worry you but fellow KBer, Kevis Hendrickson, has bought one of your books and given it (and you) an excellent  review on Goodreads. Bummer, ain't it?


----------



## JC Fetish Author (Feb 23, 2012)

Well, I think you'll all be jealous, but you know that rumor about erotica selling better than everything else? Yeah, well, it's true.
Last month, I sold *36 copies* of just one book. Add in all of the others, and I'm well over 50 copies for just one month.

Jealous?

You should be.


----------



## William G. Jones (Sep 6, 2011)

MartinWrites said:


> Let's do this properly:
> 
> Six and a half months, 1 book, all channels/outlets: 56 sales.
> 
> Am I successful?!?


You and I are on parallell courses, my friend.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> George Berger - I don't want to worry you but fellow KBer, Kevis Hendrickson, has bought one of your books and given it (and you) an excellent review on Goodreads. Bummer, ain't it?


I know! And the worst part is, he bought it at least in part because I said it was crap, and because a reviewer hated it. I just can't win!


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## JodyWallace (Mar 29, 2011)

UGH and OH NOES! I had a publisher release a new book for me with a good cover (I know, right?? Why couldn't I go with a publisher that uses Poseur!!) and apparently the sales of that item have resulted in increased sales of one my 99 cent indie books. Like....6 this month! I am quaking with fear that I'll be tossed out of the club.

Seriously. Should I increase the price of the indie book to 1.99 to make sure NOBODY buys it? I hear that's the death price, but I've never needed to resort to it.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

JodyWallace said:


> Seriously. Should I increase the price of the indie book to 1.99 to make sure NOBODY buys it? I hear that's the death price, but I've never needed to resort to it.


Raise it to $2.95; that way readers will be reluctant to buy it, and other writers will give you endless amounts of shit about how you're four cents from 70% royalties, what are you, an idiot? Win-win!

_--George, I speak from first-hand experience, here..._


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

JodyWallace said:


> UGH and OH NOES! I had a publisher release a new book for me with a good cover (I know, right?? Why couldn't I go with a publisher that uses Poseur!!) and apparently the sales of that item have resulted in increased sales of one my 99 cent indie books. Like....6 this month! I am quaking with fear that I'll be tossed out of the club.
> 
> Seriously. Should I increase the price of the indie book to 1.99 to make sure NOBODY buys it? I hear that's the death price, but I've never needed to resort to it.


Sorry, to disappoint you, mine is at $4.95, and it sells now and then.

And I just upped it to $7.50.... but I do mostly sell to the UK.


----------



## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

Checking in. I continue to sell jack all, except one copy - to myself (I gifted it as part of a blog hop giveaway). 

So... nothing to declare, I guess.

ETA: Some hard data to back up my claims of success in February:

Ebook: #378,079
Ebook: #384,169
Ebook: #529,212
Ebook: #660,775
Ebook: #746,194
Ebook: #762,280
Ebook: No Rank
Ebook: No Rank
Paperback: #4,463,811

(These are on Amazon.com - most of the books continue to have no rank at all elsewhere.)

Behold the awesome.


----------



## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

Iain Manson said:


> Good to have you with us, Jackson. I thought I'd welcome you personally, since you show such an excellent attitude. Not everyone has it in them to be a monumental failure, but when I look at you, I see real Beige Bar potential. (I'm tempted to do you a return just to get you up and running, but that would be cheating.)
> 
> Learn from past masters of defensive selling such as George Berger, Mr. RAD, EStoops, Danielle Kazemi, Iseult the Sheep, and many others. Read them and learn.
> 
> We are the shield wall at Hastings, we are the British squares at Waterloo, we are the 20th Maine on Little Round Top... _Ils n'achèteront pas!_


Thank you, Iain, for your gracious welcome. You are definitely a gentleman and a loser, and therefore good company.

George, I have been trying the KDP free route for the last few days. Happily, I have been largely unsuccessful at it, as only about 190 people over the course of three days chose to contaminate themselves with my free book. Perhaps if Amazon introduced an option where an author could pay people to take a book for free? I suspect I would find success with such a scheme.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

JacksonJones said:


> George, I have been trying the KDP free route for the last few days. Happily, I have been largely unsuccessful at it, as only about 190 people over the course of three days chose to contaminate themselves with my free book. Perhaps if Amazon introduced an option where an author could pay people to take a book for free? I suspect I would find success with such a scheme.


I did the math a long time ago, and for what I wasted on absolutely useless advertising and marketing in my first twelve months, I could have gotten four times as many readers by buying paperback copies from Createspace and giving them away on a street corner. I'm not sure about actually paying people; with my luck they'd think it was a scam or had a catch or something, and nobody would bite...

190 in three days isn't bad. I got something like 120 worldwide in two days, at the beginning of the week.

Oh, and you might get to contaminate more unsuspecting victims if you moved all the legal boilerplate to the end of the books, so your samples on Amazon have actual substance. But that might well interfere with your success, I admit.


----------



## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

George Berger said:


> Oh, and you might get to contaminate more unsuspecting victims if you moved all the legal boilerplate to the end of the books, so your samples on Amazon have actual substance. But that might well interfere with your success, I admit.


Wow. Thanks. I never thought of that. However, I'm loathe to move it, as that legalese in the beginning is some of the best writing in the books. Difficult call. I guess I should probably go with whatever contributes most to my failure and humiliation.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

JacksonJones said:


> I'm loathe to move it, as that legalese in the beginning is some of the best writing in the books. Difficult call.


Since it's not really related to the main story, as far as I can tell, take the conventional wisdom about anthologies to heart, which says you should always end the volume with a particularly strong piece, to subtly leave a (more) positive impression with the reader. Or victim, I suppose. 

"I was mostly ambivalent about this collection, and felt it was pretty much a three-star book, but the beauty and artistry evident in the final story, 'In Which I Assert the Authority to Rip the Legs Off Copyright Violators' is sufficient to both ensure a four-star rating and a deep-seated fear of quoting even a single sentence in this review..."


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## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

George Berger said:


> 'In Which I Assert the Authority to Rip the Legs Off Copyright Violators'


That's beautiful stuff. Moving and inspiring. I feel motivated to aspire to new heights (depths).


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Great numbers anne. I could be wrong but I think you have the best ranking of anyone here. That is worthy news indeed. I would claim a knight spot.


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## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Great numbers anne. I could be wrong but I think you have the best ranking of anyone here. That is worthy news indeed. I would claim a knight spot.


Oh, I have. I am Brave Sir Robin - continuing my Quest to the Bottom.


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Well, I sold a copy of Taxed to Death, so my stellar rating of 560,000 collapsed to about 128,000 earlier this week....oh well, I suppose it's to be expected, cause it's tax season and my protagonist s an auditor who doesn't have a clue, especially when it comes to murder.

Still, it's only one sale. And people don't really like tax guys....so maybe I'll get back up there....


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

I can't beat Anne's impressive Kindle numbers, but my paperbacks currently rank ~5,660,000 and ~4,670,000. People do continue to buy them... just not at Amazon.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Lol Attention to detail is one of my strong points. I apologize Sir Robin for my lack of recognizing crests of successfulness.


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## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

George Berger said:


> I can't beat Anne's impressive Kindle numbers, but my paperbacks currently rank ~5,660,000 and ~4,670,000. People do continue to buy them... just not at Amazon.


In defense of my paperback, it is an anthology, so I am hampered by the bad luck of my less successful co-authors, who insist on selling large numbers of their other books, the poor sods.

It's doing much better on B&N, I believe, being ranked in the 9,000,000 or some astronomical number like that that only dogs employed by NASA can hear.


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## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Lol Attention to detail is one of my strong points. I apologize Sir Robin for my lack of recognizing crests of successfulness.


I need to change my avatar to a chicken crest.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Pleased to report that the Royal Flush is still in tact for this month. Approaching 14 months of zero sales at B&N and all foreign Amazon markets. Oh, the glory...

In other news, I've almost finished formatting my new book. Given that I'm using KF8 with all the new things it adds, my book just might break on all other Kindles in existence. That's sure to bring in some negative reviews and garner me even more adoration from fellow members of this thread.

Going for Epic Fail. Y'all wish me luck.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Very pleased to hear that. If your book does manage to destroy kindles, let us know. This will make succeeding at failure much easier.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

A reader informed me this week that large, random chunks are missing from one of my books on Amazon... but only on the Kindle-for-iPad app, and only when read in landscape mode.

I'm pretty sure I can't really claim credit for that one, alas.

I bought a cover this week on Fiverr, for a forthcoming short story. The cover I got was kinda meh, to my view, but my tastes in covers are pretty highly suspect, so I didn't argue too much. I uploaded it to KDP, and in their thumbnail-sized preview, it didn't look too great. I was like, hmm, I can crop 10% off all four sides, and make the title a bit larger in the process.

So, I opened the image in Photoshop, and cropped it. Then I did a little saturation enhancement, and whoa, what's that?

Why, that's Dreamstime's watermark, on the background of the image. And when I lightened the image, you can see where they almost-but-not-completely cropped the site's URL out of the comp image they used. Le sigh.

So, here I am, waiting on both a new cover artist, and waiting on Fiverr to see if they'll refund my original purchase.

That has to count as success, by any reasonable measure, surely.

To be fair, it gives me time to pester other, better, writers for snarky endorsements for the book in question. I'm thinking something like "Clearly, the author wrote this with one hand while picking his nose with the other, and it's a terrible tragedy that this has been published, rather than his handkerchief, which can only be better."


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## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

"Reading this book didn't quite cause my eyes to melt, but they were feeling a little soft toward the end."


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## Cassandra Blizzard (Jul 2, 2011)

Hmm let me see...counting...about 23 books. 1047 sold in the last two months. The Whisper of Wings is at 980 spot in kindle, 47 in historical romance this morning.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Cassandra Blizzard said:


> Hmm let me see...counting...about 23 books. 1047 sold in the last two months. The Whisper of Wings is at 980 spot in kindle, 47 in historical romance this morning.


It's almost like you didn't read the thread, or something.


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## Cassandra Blizzard (Jul 2, 2011)

Lol, Sorry 'bout that.


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## JodyWallace (Mar 29, 2011)

Successful experiment! Marked one of my books on sale to 99 cents and it sold exactly ONE copy! BEHOLD, the power of the truly successful indie.... I think I've managed to overcome whatever surge in sales that book from a publisher gave me enough to remain in the club.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Fantastic news on this thread. Well, apart from Cassandra. She will be getting a banishment. Who knows George - maybe you could work Dreamstime into your title. The Purloined Watermark of Dreamstime comes to mind. No idea if someone is already using that title. And Jody, 99 cents is a hard market to crack. Glad to see your book is doing abysmally well.


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## PAWilson (Jan 9, 2012)

What a relief to find this thread. I am now rapidly making plans to sell less.


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

That's the spirit, PAWilson! Mr. RAD is also inspiring us all with his goals.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

I am here to report that after the sudden deluge, I have had a week of no activity, followed by ONE sale. Though my rank has gone below 100k again, I am sure it will return to a respectable number shortly. 

However, I must admit, I have been informed that people don't like the cover for "Pocket in the Sea" and now knowing this, I am obligated to fix the issue and see if I can continue to successfully fail with improved looks. Now, that would really say something about my blurb, my sample, and my writing.....


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## JodyWallace (Mar 29, 2011)

Good point. It is nice to fail when you do a lot of things wrong or sloppy or what have you, but when, to all appearances, you're as professional and hardworking as some goofball indie author who MAKES MONEY (gasp!) -- that is a TRUE ACHIEVEMENT. Improved covers, book sales, lack of typos in the blurb, reviews, active social media presences, friendly online demeanor -- if you can do things like that and still sell nothing? You're the pinnacle.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Happily, a new underpaid minion has come through with a cover which I like better than the first, and which contains no _obvious_ signs of containing a copyright violation. So, within a day or two, I can pursue abject success with yet another title, should God, my cats, and Konrath will it.

After much soul-searching, I've included a heartfelt dedication to our esteemed colleague Mr. Dalgrish. Here's hoping his lack of success isn't contagious...


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## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

I'm afraid that of my three new titles, one has somehow managed to sell 2 copies and another has sold 1 copy. The third, happily, has sold no copies. I'm ashamed that I somehow managed to make those sales. On the flipside, however, there are a maximum of three strangers out there who now possess my stories, which means the quality of their intellects will be diminished when they read them (if they finish). So, I guess that's a positive.

As my grandmother always said, "In the game of life, there's always going to be a loser, Jackson. It's probably going to be you, so lose well."


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

JacksonJones said:


> I'm afraid that of my three new titles, one has somehow managed to sell 2 copies and another has sold 1 copy. The third, happily, has sold no copies. I'm ashamed that I somehow managed to make those sales. On the flipside, however, there are a maximum of three strangers out there who now possess my stories, which means the quality of their intellects will be diminished when they read them (if they finish). So, I guess that's a positive.
> 
> As my grandmother always said, "In the game of life, there's always going to be a loser, Jackson. It's probably going to be you, so lose well."


Gotta love grandma. 



Cassandra Blizzard said:


> Hmm let me see...counting...about 23 books. 1047 sold in the last two months. The Whisper of Wings is at 980 spot in kindle, 47 in historical romance this morning.


I've just checked out some of Cassandra's books (she has several aliases). I only found one of them to be priced at $1.99. She even has a few at $6.99.

Bottom line: Cassandra is a T-R-O-L-L. Don't let her fool you. She doesn't belong here.


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## Jorja Tabu (Feb 6, 2012)

This is the most hilarious thread on KB, how have I never seen it before?


I think I found it just in time to fail pretty miserably, as today I passed a major milestone and sold 100 books (in one month).  Unfortunate.  I will be diligent about doing worse next month, I promise!


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

What is this - troll season? Do we need to go on a quest against them? Must we hoist their books into the lofty abyss of ratings so that they understand the joy of impressive rankings? Does this post use bigger words than most of my books? Yes to all I say.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Jorja Tabu said:


> I think I found it just in time to fail pretty miserably, as today I passed a major milestone and sold 100 books (in one month). Unfortunate. I will be diligent about doing worse next month, I promise!


According to this thread, a successful indie is someone who hardly sells any books despite giving their best. You simply fail to qualify. No membership for you, I'm afraid. 

Another one to add to the Troll Board.


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## NUTRIWINE (Feb 28, 2012)

I am new and have just published my second book NutriWine and my first went into 11 languages The Book Of Tibetan Medicine.

A marketing director of a publishing house in London said I should now go it alone and many in the trade are edgy about the increase
in sales of ebooks. You know the ones that  can't even see a bus being driven at high speed in their direction. So its not whether people are good authors its the ones out there who understand the internet is not a thing but a place and that you have to help people 1000 of them come and check out your work and it can be done but another graft. Anyways here I go.


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## MegSilver (Feb 26, 2012)

Iain Manson said:


> I'm sick of all these stories from people who sell a few tens (or maybe hundreds) of thousands of copies every year (or day, or minute, or something).
> 
> Let's celebrate some _real_ success. I fear that my one conventionally-published book may buck the trend a little, but in seven months, my three self-published titles have sold . . . [roll of drums] . . . _*54 copies*_!
> 
> ...


Are you sure you're not from Minnesota?

I feel like this should be nominated for some type of Olympic sarcasm medal, and I would totally bribe the Russian judge to give it a ten.


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## Heather Ross (Sep 8, 2011)

Glad I finally read more than the title of this thread as I was in great fear that I would never be able to join the party, but, alas, I am making my entrance toting less than dismal sales to share.

*Standing introduction* I published my YA novelette as well as an illustrated children's book on Jan. 1, 2012. No paperback, digital only.
To date, across all outlets including Smashwords, I have had a whopping three sales (1 for Johnny Mustang to the UK, which I chalk up to a slip of the wrist.) one per month, no doubt riding on the negative karma of the few beta readers whom didn't like "the lack of motivation on the part of the MC," and "the scene with the guy at the party made no sense. It's more of a chick story." Gotta love family members!

I've made sure to further decrease sales by upping the price of my YA novelette in month two, to 2.99 from its intro of 1.99. So far, sales have remained the same! Woo Hoo!

Current rank for Highway 90 - 460,068
Johnny Mustang - 456,399, however, listed at 68 in Westerns with only one sale? I move to strike this from consideration since obviously no one is publishing westerns these days.

I've also made sure that Johnny Mustang won't get much play since it's written under a pen name further disconnecting it from me and "other titles by this author." In addition, I set the price high, 3.43, after researching other illustrated children's books. This I'm sure will throw it down the well. I'm considering Select in order to recoup the money spent on the ten color illustrations and cover art. If it works, I'll release book two since I stupidly made this a series right on the cover of the first book 'cuz that's how egotistical I am. 

At this rate I hope to outshine George Berger within the year.


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Congratulations, Heather! May you get your wish. (We're all out to beat George, really.)


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## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

Heather Ross said:


> I've made sure to further decrease sales by upping the price of my YA novelette in month two, to 2.99 from its intro of 1.99. So far, sales have remained the same! Woo Hoo!


If upping it one dollar to 2.99 will decrease your sales, just imagine upping it 3 or 4 dollars? I think you should try 6.99. I imagine you would see great results.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Welcome Heather. Your sale numbers are quite worthy of inclusion over here. I am looking forward to hearing those rankings continuing to advance.


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

All right, let's have a little stock-taking.

I'm seeing some good stuff here, and special mention must go to *Anne Holly* (aka Sir Robin), whose ranking of 762,280 is, I think, the best we've seen thus far. Brave, brave Sir Robin! (And no need to apologise for sales of the anthology, Anne. No one can hold you responsible for the misdeeds of others.)

The exchange between *George Berger* and *Jackson Jones* (Replies #631-#635) also caught my attention. To watch those two brave men charge straight for the guns brings, I confess, a manly tear to my eye:

_Buyers to right of them,
Buyers to left of them,
Buyers in front of them
Ignor'd them completely..._

Forward the Beige Brigade!

*Roshawn (Mr. RAD)*: A new book? This is terrific. The whole Beige Bar is watching.

*George Berger*: Good work on the copyright violation, George. Wouldn't it be something if, in addition to selling no books, you could get into legal difficulties? (By the way, I've taken the trouble to confirm that your work is classy, which makes your miserable failure all the more praiseworthy. Keep it up.)

*EStoops*: Great attitude, as ever. I am of *Jody*'s opinion:
_It is nice to fail when you do a lot of things wrong or sloppy or what have you, but when, to all appearances, you're as professional and hardworking as some goofball indie author who MAKES MONEY (gasp!) -- that is a TRUE ACHIEVEMENT. Improved covers, book sales, lack of typos in the blurb, reviews, active social media presences, friendly online demeanor -- if you can do things like that and still sell nothing? You're the pinnacle._
You are indeed.

*Jorja Tabu*: You sound a decent sort, Jorja, and I don't think Danielle and Roshawn are right to identify you as a troll. Even so, your figures just don't pass muster. Sorry.

*Meg Silver*: No, Meg, I'm not from Minnesota. But I did spend a couple of nights in Minneapolis many years ago, and have not been quite the same since.

*Heather Ross*: Good to have you with us at the cutting edge, Heather. Come and bleed with us.

*Troll alert*: I think they've both been named and shamed, but let's make it official:
*Cassandra Blizzard*: Disgraceful. Terminated.
*Ralph Quinlan Forde (NUTRIWINE)*: Beyond words. Terminated with extreme prejudice.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *George Berger*: Good work on the copyright violation, George. Wouldn't it be something if, in addition to selling no books, you could get into legal difficulties?


You know, I briefly contemplated making a post on my blog, naming the artist in question and displaying the cover they produced - but the artwork _is_ stolen, after all, so I have no right to display the cover, thus making it a he-said, he-or-she-said sort of deal. And if the artist is as big a jerkwad as they seem to be, they might sue, or threaten to, for defamation, whether I post the cover or not.

In the end I have reluctantly decided that that sort of unparallelled success is too great for my humble self, and am taking the honorable and classy option, i.e. doing nothing whatsoever. The fact that, as the dedication to my latest book says, "Don't sue me, I'm broke", never entered my consideration at all.

*Meg Silver*: No, Meg, I'm not from Minnesota. But I did spend a couple of nights in Minneapolis many years ago, and have not been quite the same since.
[/quote]

The warehouse district after dark can indeed by a life-altering experience, yes.

Not that I've ever wandered Washington Ave after midnight with friends, or anything of that sort, of course.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

It's March 1st and you know what that means? Yep, more glory for me!

Friends, I am very pleased to report that I finished February with a Royal Flush. Not a single sale in any Amazon venues or B&N. My streak of zero sales at B&N and all foreign Amazon stores is now at 14 months. Yep. 14 straight months of BBoS bliss. That just can't be beat. 

Behold the awesome!


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## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

Mr. RAD said:


> It's March 1st and you know what that means? Yep, more glory for me!
> 
> Friends, I am very pleased to report that I finished February with a Royal Flush. Not a single sale in any Amazon venues or B&N. My streak of zero sales at B&N and all foreign Amazon stores is now at 14 months. Yep. 14 straight months of BBoS bliss. That just can't be beat.
> 
> Behold the awesome!


That's very encouraging news. This sort of progress underscores the fact that you truly are the right man, the Generalissimo hand-picked by history, to lead our Light Brigade as we charge through the valley of death.


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## Heather Ross (Sep 8, 2011)

Thank you for the warm welcome! Almost as warm as the blood oozing from my digital spine.

@JacksonJones - wise advice indeed. Saving for the day I have more titles out, which I will bless with this pricing structure so potential readers can hop from one to the other saying, "What the...? This writer's ego really is bigger than all of her novelettes combined."

@Mr. RAD - Just when I was feeling rather successful you had to go and post an update. Thou art truly awesome!


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Mr. RAD is unsurpassable!


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## Lee Lopez (Jan 19, 2012)

The average indie author sells, 4 books a month. So if you're doing better then that, that makes you mid-list. Not bad.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Lee Lopez said:


> The average indie author sells, 4 books a month. So if you're doing better then that, that makes you mid-list. Not bad.


May I ask where you got that figure?


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

#421,771 Paid in Kindle Store

Read it and weep.  Fie on that maverick book I sold..


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

I'm so sorry, Morgan! Maybe things will go better now.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

jnfr said:


> I'm so sorry, Morgan! Maybe things will go better now.


 We just have to read it and weep, AND CARRY ON REGARDLESS....


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #650,282 Paid in Kindle Store

Fie on that handful of copies of that particular book that sold last year.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #565,308 Paid in Kindle Store 

Not as good as George's but better than most. Were it not for the saboteurs who purchased two copies of my work last month, I might be nearing 700,000.

But something sinister might be under way. Checking my Amazon page revealed that four five people like my book. Yesterday it said three. So I'm updating my work to reflect modern language (kind of, anyway) and giving it a somewhat improved cover. That ought to turn people off.

And as for my new book, I'm finishing the blurb right now. Will be giving it a $3.16 price until the 16th of this month. Hopefully by the weekend I'll be able to say that I have two books that are the epitome of mediocrity. Should they both perform as we all hope they will, I shall be deemed Mr. BBoS.

Making it happen, people. Making it happen. 

Edit: I just pressed the "Save and Publish" button for my new book. Took me 6.5 years to do it. Laugh if you will, but I can proudly say that I FINISHED it. Despite the grief I've endured while writing it, I FINISHED it. *Finishing what I started -- that's success.*


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## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Lee Lopez said:


> The average indie author sells, 4 books a month. So if you're doing better then that, that makes you mid-list. Not bad.


Four books a month  Really? That many?

Sheesh, some of us can only dream.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> Four books a month  Really? That many?
> 
> Sheesh, some of us can only dream.


Tell me about it. I'm incredibly lucky if I get one sale every three months.


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

This search term led some poor unfortunate soul to my site:

"writer with least amount of books sold"

Ladies and gentlemen; success.

(Baa.)


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## Lanie Jordan (Feb 23, 2011)

It's been a while since I've posted, but I'm proud to say my last sale was Jan 29th and I have the amazing rank of #507,246! Woohoo. Good thing I like the BBoS.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Ben White said:


> This search term led some poor unfortunate soul to my site:
> 
> "writer with least amount of books sold"
> 
> ...


Victory! We are a magnet for our kind. We are the hailed heroes of failure!


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## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

Being young and unwashed, I'm not sure if this counts as a minor success. I put my story, Revenge of the Demented Thespians, up for free over the last three days. It garnered a grand total of 184 free downloads. I trust that is a success in terms of failure, yes? Happily, on its third and final day (yesterday), it earned only 6 free downloads. I realize 6 in total for all three days would have been better, but I was delighted to see that quick fall-off on the last day.

I find being a loser makes me relaxed and carefree. It also seems to aid my digestion.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Those are the kind of results we love hearing about Jackson. Hopefully you can also get a few one star reviews. Crossing my fingers for you. And drinks are in the back - help yourself.


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## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Hopefully you can also get a few one star reviews.


That would be awesome and very affirming. But only if they included personal insults and some disparaging remarks about my fashion sense.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

JacksonJones said:


> That would be awesome and very affirming. But only if they included personal insults and some disparaging remarks about my fashion sense.


How about speculation about why your books are listed under Reference -> Quotations? 

_--George, what are 'ludes, Alex?_


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## Heather Ross (Sep 8, 2011)

Isn't true success measured by the number of returns on all of those free downloads?


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## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

George Berger said:


> How about speculation about why your books are listed under Reference -> Quotations?


What? Are you serious? I had no idea. Obviously some kind of Amazon demon at work, trying to make me fail even further. Oh, wait. That's a good thing.

You're right, Heather. Shucks. I don't have any returns on those freebies. But, there's still time.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Those are the kind of results we love hearing about Jackson. Hopefully you can also get a few one star reviews. Crossing my fingers for you. And drinks are in the back - help yourself.


You know, I think we should try to get together a list of "Unpleasable, Unlikable, Obnoxious Reviewers" and send them free copies. That should really increase the number of hateful reviews we've got. Bonus points if they spew vitrol without ever reading more than the sample.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Well friends, I've gone ahead and published a new book (see sig). In addition, I've updated the other one and raised its price from $0.99 to $2. Amazon immediately discounted it to $0.99. I thought price matching was in effect, but I unpublished my book on B&N long before changing the price on Amazon. I hope that doesn't lead to more sales.

As for B&N, I've ended my 14-month slump there by simply unpublishing. It's not like readers will bewail my exit. They may, in fact, applaud my actions.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Sounds like Amazon recognized your success and dropped your price to keep you from breaking their system. Too many people would have seen the $2 price and think it was literary worthy. As for BN, you may have just put the nail in the coffin for their bankruptcy by removing your book. Hopefully one day you will go back but stay under the radar.


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## Edward W. Robertson (May 18, 2010)

Well, I discovered this thread too late to rightly join it. I've failed pretty hard in the last month. Still, even amidst these confusing "sales" and "borrows," I hope one of my titles can be an inspiration to one and all:

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #851,576 Paid in Kindle Store



Update: Currently #854,779!


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## ASparrow (Oct 12, 2009)

Edward W. Robertson said:


> Well, I discovered this thread too late to rightly join it. I've failed pretty hard in the last month. Still, even amidst these confusing "sales" and "borrows," I hope one of my titles can be an inspiration to one and all:
> 
> Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #851,576 Paid in Kindle Store


My latest book ROOT's been out a month at $0.99 and I'm not even ranked because I've had zero (0) downloads!

The funny thing is, I enjoy it. There is a purity to that zero that is something to be cherished. No readers are disappointed in my writing. No book files are cluttering any memory banks anywhere but Amazon. And meanwhile I can see if I complete the sequel before anyone has even read the first. It's like a race!


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Awwww, man...

My new book, _Broke A$ Hell,_ was released on the 1st and had no ranking. Then today, a ranking of #162,115 popped up out of nowhere. Yep, I made a sale. Somebody out there goofed up by buying a copy at its $3.16 price, effectively killing my Amazon US BBoS. 

Hope this doesn't start a trend.


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## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

I feel your pain!

Thankfully, it isn't catching - I still have the complete BBOS I've had since January and the big fat Smashwords zero that's been there since I published late October 2011.

Guinevere rules, OK?


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

All right, everybody, listen up (as the lieutenant says to the doomed platoon in the war movies).

*Ben White, aka Iseult the Sheep*: Just in case anybody missed it, someone found Ben's website by searching on "writer with least amount of books sold". This, I confess, brought a lump to my throat. I'm proud of you, Ben, I really am. So, everybody, three baas for the Sheep. _Hip hip!..._

*Morgan Gallagher*: I would like to join Jennifer in expressing my condolences. To fall to a ranking little above 400,000 must have come as a terrible shock. But let everyone draw strength from your own brave words: "We just have to read it and weep, AND CARRY ON REGARDLESS...." Take heart, everyone, and fight on. Remember, as the French so nearly said at Verdun: _Ils n'achèteront pas!_

*Roshawn, aka Mr. RAD*: Good to know the new book's out, Roshawn, but a nasty shock to sell a copy almost immediately. Never mind, probably a rogue buyer. I think we can safely expect the common run of swine to reject any Pearl you cast before them. Talking of which, I shouldn't worry too much about five people liking your first book. It's already a legend of the Beige Bar, and nobody can take that from you.

*Lanie Jordan*: Welcome back, Lanie. A ranking of #507,246 doesn't make you one of the greats, but you have a good attitude.

*Jackson Jones*: Free downloads count neither for nor against you, Jackson, but, as Heather says, _returned_ freebies earn real respect. Anyway, it's good that one so young should appreciate the joys of being a loser.

*Estoops*: Good point about sending work to obnoxious reviewers. We just need some names.

*Edward W. Robertson*: Edward, with a ranking of #851,576 you certainly aren't too late to join us. In fact, you go straight to the top. An awesome performance, which battle-hardened knights of the Beige Bar will see as a challenge.

*Arcadia Sparrow*: An especially warm welcome. (You see, everybody, Arc is one of the two readers attracted by my benighted blog - an old friend, and a stylish one.) You understand numbers, which is good. Here at the Beige Bar, we like zero, and we like anything over 500,000. Numbers between are considered shameful, though, like Morgan and Roshawn, you are expected to own up to them. Your aim of completing the sequel to your new novel before selling a single copy of its predecessor is noble. Good to have you with us.

*Lyndawrites*: My queen.

*Backward, the Beige Brigade!*​


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

One of my books is slowly approaching a milestone rank of 600,000. Since reaching 550,000 it's been tough going. My ascent (descent) hasn't been as smooth or as fast in the last week or so, but I'm not fazed.

Nothing worth doing is ever easy.


----------



## sc skillman (Jan 13, 2012)

I've sold 21 on Kindle this year. Although I'm in several places on the internet, I still feel invisible. But I have had several good reviews, which encourage me. See my blog post "The Lost World of the Reclusive Bestseller Author" (www.scskillmanblogspot.wordpress.com) for my views on this subject! And good luck to every one of you on this thread, because your honesty is the most encouraging thing of all.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

After three consecutive days free via Select, the book in question was downloaded 68 + 12 + 7 + 1 (.com / .co.uk / .de / .it) = 88 times. Regrettably, it acquired a lovely four-star review. Happily, the review is on amazon.co.uk, and thus unlikely to have too detrimental an effect on sales or my paid ranking, which is ~285,000 on .com...

In happier news, my latest title remains unsold on all Amazons after ten days. Someone did "purchase" a copy on Smashwords, where it's enrolled in the RAEW free promotion, but they haven't actually downloaded a copy so I don't think that should count.


----------



## Edward W. Robertson (May 18, 2010)

Well, someone just ruined my quest for the Holy Grail. My previously unchallenged rank of (last time I saw) 854,554 has just descended precipitously to 72,262. Six months of work down the drain.

Avenge me, Knights of the BBOS!


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Edward W. Robertson said:


> Well, someone just ruined my quest for the Holy Grail. My previously unchallenged rank of (last time I saw) 854,554 has just descended precipitously to 72,262. Six months of work down the drain.


Ouch!!! That's one heck of a drop. I'm guessing two or three sales caused it.

Darn shame. Really.


----------



## Tonya (Feb 21, 2011)

Hahahahaa! Thanks for the smile)) (ummm. . .I sold 35k last year....hangs head in shame . . .)


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Tonya's gonna get terminated. I'm sure of it.

Edward, that's terrible and we're all sorry to hear it, I'm sure. But don't give up hope! Every month is another chance to join the Knights of the Brown Bar.


----------



## Tonya (Feb 21, 2011)

jnfr said:


> Tonya's gonna get terminated. I'm sure of it.
> 
> Edward, that's terrible and we're all sorry to hear it, I'm sure. But don't give up hope! Every month is another chance to join the Knights of the Brown Bar.


Too funny


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## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

Edward W. Robertson said:


> Well, someone just ruined my quest for the Holy Grail. My previously unchallenged rank of (last time I saw) 854,554 has just descended precipitously to 72,262. Six months of work down the drain.
> 
> Avenge me, Knights of the BBOS!


That's depressing news. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse: Iranians busy building nukes, more talk about military involvement in Syria, gas prices persistently climbing, Kim Kardashian refusing to emigrate from the planet, now this. I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised to see the four horsemen of the apocalypse come riding down my street today.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Terrible news: One of my books got a five star review. While it has no effected sales yet, it does mean someone liked it. Need to fix that. Might change dragons into newts and see how that works.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Tonya said:


> Hahahahaa! Thanks for the smile)) (ummm. . .I sold 35k last year....hangs head in shame . . .)


Sounds like a troll.



Danielle Kazemi said:


> Terrible news: One of my books got a five star review. While it has no effected sales yet, it does mean someone liked it. Need to fix that. Might change dragons into newts and see how that works.


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## KathyLynnHarris (Feb 2, 2012)

hilarious thread! thanks for the chuckles tonight.


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

Tonya said:


> Hahahahaa! Thanks for the smile)) (ummm. . .I sold 35k last year....hangs head in shame . . .)


Go away, you hateful person. Sow your misery-seeds elsewhere.

Baa.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Ben White said:


> Go away, you hateful person. Sow your misery-seeds elsewhere.
> 
> Baa.


We must be kinder to the numbers challenged. It's always good to be considerate or those less fortunate than ourselves.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

All is right once more with the world. Garnered a three star on BN which said grammer [sic] sucked and quote: really really really sucked. Three reallys. My work is complete.


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## BillieMosiman (Aug 3, 2010)

Right now I'm having a break-out on the free lists and that might put the book on the top 100 paid lists later.

SUSPENSE THRILLERS-A Boxed Set is currently Number 1 in the UK suspense titles. Number 14 in the whole UK Kindle store.

March 8-10: Billie Sue Mosiman Boxed Set #SUSPENSE #THRILLERS #Free on Kindle UK:
http://ow.ly/9wII3

In the US it is Number 5 in Suspense Top 100.

March 8-10: Billie Sue Mosiman Boxed Set #SUSPENSE #THRILLERS #Free on Kindle US: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007E22NSO

I'm selling 100s of paid books a month of my titles. Gotta love KDP.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

BillieMosiman said:


> Right now I'm having a break-out on the free lists and that might put the book on the top 100 paid lists later.
> 
> I'm selling 100s of paid books a month of my titles. Gotta love KDP.


People really need to strat reading this thread.

Do you think that's the clue to selling lots of books, be the sort of person who can't read properly?


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> People really need to start reading this thread.
> 
> Do you think that's the clue to selling lots of books, be the sort of person who can't read properly?


LOL!


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> Do you think that's the clue to selling lots of books, be the sort of person who can't read properly?


If that bullet had been eighteen inches higher and four inches to the left, I coulda been a bestseller!


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## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

> Do you think that's the clue to selling lots of books, be the sort of person who can't read properly?


Maybe, based on some of the best sellers I've read.

You've been a great crowd. I'll be here all night.

Alternate joke: No, but your target audience should be.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

The ranking for the first book in my sig has risen by only 2,000 within the last 12 hours. Usually, it rises by 1,000 per hour. Never thought reaching a ranking of #600,000 would be so difficult.


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## portiadacosta (Feb 28, 2011)

I'm currently loving the power of returns to ensure my success as a non selling author with a magnificently huge ranking number. Whenever a rogue sale breaks through, a vigilant sheep dog of a return streaks out of hiding, racing to the rescue to offset the sale.  

Go returns!


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

The sad news from Edward (below) has come as a blow to us all. But let us take inspiration from history. In the spring of 1918, a massive German offensive threatened the western allies with disaster. Field Marshal Sir Douglas Haig responded on 11th April with an order of the day which included these words: "With our backs to the wall and believing in the justice of our cause each one of us must fight on to the end." Keep the faith.

*Mr. RAD*: It was always going to be tough, Roshawn. For those who climb Everest, everything above 8,000 metres is known as the death zone. Here at the Beige Bar, everything above 500,000 is the death zone. Take heart from the fact that you're still climbing, albeit slowly.

*George Berger*: Good work on the KDP Select freebie, George. To go from 68 downloads to 1 in three days is most impressive. But a paid ranking of ~285,000 is, I have to say, pretty poor, and I regard four-star reviews as the most dangerous of all: readers are less likely to suspect that it's the writer sock-puppeting. Fight, George, fight!

_*Edward W. Robertson*: Edward, I hardly know what to say. The word "tragic" is overused, but how else to describe a ranking decline from more than 850,000 to little over 70,000? The lightheartedness which we occasionally practise here would be quite inappropriate in this instance. If there's anything that any of us can do to help, please don't be too proud to ask. We're all thinking of you._

*JacksonJones*: Yes, I'm a bit concerned about the Horsemen myself. Only yesterday, I spotted two mounted police horses in the street, which suggests that over in England, we're just two jockeys short of a cataclysm. As for Kim Kardashian, she was only a name to me and I had to look her up. But having done so, I can set your mind at rest: she has definitely left the planet.

*Danielle Kazemi*: Glad you kept your nerve, Danielle, and didn't risk the newt transformation. As Mitt Romney says, let sleeping Newts lie (just like they do when they're awake).

*portiadacosta*: Good analogy, Portia. Think _sheepdog_, everyone.

*Troll alert* _(but see SITUATION VACANT below)_
*sc skillman*: Terminated. No knight of the Beige Bar may read her blog post The Lost World of the Reclusive Bestseller Author
*Tonya*: Morgan may have a point... but terminated anyway.
*KathyLynnHarris*: Not a proven troll, but terminated just to be on the safe side.
*BillieMosiman*: Highly dangerous. Terminated. (And Morgan makes an interesting suggestion.)

*SITUATION VACANT*
Leading Kindle Boards thread seeks *Troll in Residence*. The successful candidate will have at least 10,000 Kindle sales, and will be expected to boast of these, while insulting any and all knights of the Beige Bar. Remuneration will be in abuse and scorn. Applications by post to _Successful indies only, please_.


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## ErikHyrkas (Dec 24, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *SITUATION VACANT*
> Leading Kindle Boards thread seeks *Troll in Residence*. The successful candidate will have at least 10,000 Kindle sales, and will be expected to boast of these, while insulting any and all knights of the Beige Bar. Remuneration will be in abuse and scorn. Applications by post to _Successful indies only, please_.


Might I offer a suggestion: Consider sweetening the deal by offering a bridge, or some other domicile preferred by trolls.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Just 2,500 away from a ranking of #600,000! Almost there, almost there....

And in other news, I've ended the first full week of March with a Royal Flush.

Yay, me!


----------



## JasonThacker (Mar 11, 2012)

Awesome thread!!!

So I put my new horror short story collection up for free on its first day and left it free for 2 days. I gave away 260 copies. The day after the giveaway was over, I prepared myself for the onslaught of sales that was to come. The same onslaught that I had heard so much about from so many other authors. You know what I'm talking about, the burst of sales where they start selling 1000's of books after coming off of the freebie list. Well after an entire week of coming off of the free list, I have sold 2! I'm sorry to report though, I did earn 2 5-star reviews after the giveaway.   But so far, the month is off to a very good decline!


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Well, I've been too ashamed to show up over the last few days, as my carefully grown 500,000+ rankings on my three books plummeted after a review of my latest book came out in a national magazine. I have a feeling the same person bought all 3 books because the drops occurred at the same time. Happily, it was a one-day success story, as the number are indeed topping 400,000+ after about 10 days. I'm back in the groove, and happy to be among you again.  

Debra


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## Jonathan Winn (Mar 7, 2012)

Okay, what this Thread has shown me is that seven sales in your first five days of your first book being released is not too shabby.  

But who knows?  If I start seeing the dreaded donut hole, I may give you all a run for your money!


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## Steve Vernon (Feb 18, 2011)

Well Jonathan, you do have a fine kickass cover working in your favour...


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

YEAH! I made it! My book finally reach the milestone rank of #600,000. Woohoooooooooooo! A big thank you to all who encouraged me to go for the gold. Bless your hearts! 



JasonThacker said:


> Awesome thread!!!
> 
> So I put my new horror short story collection up for free on its first day and left it free for 2 days. I gave away 260 copies. The day after the giveaway was over, I prepared myself for the onslaught of sales that was to come. The same onslaught that I had heard so much about from so many other authors. You know what I'm talking about, the burst of sales where they start selling 1000's of books after coming off of the freebie list. Well after an entire week of coming off of the free list, I have sold 2! I'm sorry to report though, I did earn 2 5-star reviews after the giveaway.  But so far, the month is off to a very good decline!


Welcome aboard, Jason. Nice to meet another "successful" author, although selling 2 books in one week raises brows in here. 



Debra Purdy Kong said:


> Well, I've been too ashamed to show up over the last few days, as my carefully grown 500,000+ rankings on my three books plummeted after a review of my latest book came out in a national magazine. I have a feeling the same person bought all 3 books because the drops occurred at the same time. Happily, it was a one-day success story, as the number are indeed topping 400,000+ after about 10 days. I'm back in the groove, and happy to be among you again.
> 
> Debra


Yes, Debra, it is disappointing to know that our beloved rankings are subject to the gravitational pull of a sale. But I'm glad that you're still with us.


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## portiadacosta (Feb 28, 2011)

I know this is technically out of the scope of this thread, as it refers to a print book, and not an indie one at that... but I thought it might give us all something to aim for.

An edition of an anthology I was a part of is currently listed with a ranking of #6,923,795

That's nearly *seven million*, folks! If only I could achieve such greatness with my self published work...


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

portiadacosta said:


> I know this is technically out of the scope of this thread, as it refers to a print book, and not an indie one at that... but I thought it might give us all something to aim for.
> 
> An edition of an anthology I was a part of is currently listed with a ranking of #6,923,795
> 
> That's nearly *seven million*, folks! If only I could achieve such greatness with my self published work...












Has any self-pubbed ebook ever reached such stratospheric heights? If so, there should be a post in this thread dedicated to its author(s). If not, then we all have something to shoot for. One-million seems to be the mega milestone for ebooks sales rank wise (I think).

Just 400,000 more, and I'll achieve that blessed rock of achievement.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

My success on the failure front has been limited lately. I have gotten weak sales that keep pulling my rankings to "respectable levels". Not too respectable mind you, but less that 200k. I'm afraid I'm showing to a disadvantage lately.... I'm sure the upcoming cover change, however, will change my fortunes.


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Mr. RAD said:


> YEAH! I made it! My book finally reach the milestone rank of #600,000. Woohoooooooooooo! A big thank you to all who encouraged me to go for the gold. Bless your hearts!
> 
> Welcome aboard, Jason. Nice to meet another "successful" author, although selling 2 books in one week raises brows in here.
> 
> Yes, Debra, it is disappointing to know that our beloved rankings are subject to the gravitational pull of a sale. But I'm glad that you're still with us.


Thank you, and congratulations on making #600,000. Now, I'm wondering how long it will take me to get there!


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

I changed a cover and immediately got a sale.

Help.

Baa.


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## angiemccullagh (Feb 21, 2012)

I'm stumping all over the place and selling 1 to 2 books per day. Breaking out the bubbly!


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

angiemccullagh said:


> I'm stumping all over the place and selling 1 to 2 books per day. Breaking out the bubbly!


If that doesn't knock it off in about two days, I'm afraid you get the boot to the rear and it's time for you to go stump about on those....*shudder* other threads about sales, and bestseller lists and other disreputable, despicable things.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Ben White said:


> I changed a cover and immediately got a sale.
> 
> Help.
> 
> Baa.


My god that's concerning. Are you alright? Shall we get you some brandy and a little gruel while you recover from the setback?


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

I just ... I just don't know what to do.  Maybe I should change the cover back, it was doing all right before, I was almost up to the high 400,000s.  Baa.  Baa!


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

/pat /pat /pat


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Actually, I woke up in a rage about this. I'm so sorry Ben. We're shearing off your pretty wool and putting you out in the cold stone pen to rethink your life. Out you go you filthy sheep!


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

EStoops said:


> Actually, I woke up in a rage about this. I'm so sorry Ben. We're shearing off your pretty wool and putting you out in the cold stone pen to rethink your life. Out you go you filthy sheep!


This is honestly no more than I deserve.

Baaaaaaaa


----------



## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Well, I wavered there for a moment with another wonderful crappy 5-star review. Full of the usual drivel about my book being "well wriitten and fast-paced" (ha!) and "characters, friend and foe alike" being "colorful and engaging", fortunately it hasn't resulted in a single sale. My ranking remains as stellar as ever at 698,498.

Phew!

I remain your queen, Guinevere, the Lady of Lost Hope.

Ben/Iseult - Bad sheep, baad sheep! Don't let Arthur catch you.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> Well, I wavered there for a moment with another wonderful crappy 5-star review. Full of the usual drivel about my book being "well wriitten and fast-paced" (ha!) and "characters, friend and foe alike" being "colorful and engaging", fortunately it hasn't resulted in a single sale. My ranking remains as stellar as ever at 698,498.
> 
> Phew!
> 
> ...


This my dear, is worthy of celebration. Champagne. or margaritas?


----------



## elalond (May 11, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> My ranking remains as stellar as ever at 698,498.


I'm matching it and raising it on my short story's, Hope Vol.3, ranking: #706,134. Beat this if you can.  (I do hope that short stories qualify.)


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

My short is at #701,989. So you win, but only by a little bit!


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Stellar rankings everyone. My best is still in the 400ks.  Slow rising lately.


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## elalond (May 11, 2011)

jnfr said:


> My short is at #701,989. So you win, but only by a little bit!


YeY for me.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Stellar rankings everyone. My best is still in the 400ks.  Slow rising lately.


You belong in the dark side, with me! (maniacal laugh)


----------



## Anjasa (Feb 4, 2012)

Ben White said:


> I changed a cover and immediately got a sale.
> 
> Help.
> 
> Baa.


I changed a cover and haven't gotten a sale since. Hm.


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

Fortunately I've had no sales at all since that shameful little fiasco, and the book in question has now risen to 220k--embarrassing in comparison to some of the heady figures I see from m'colleagues here, but far better than the (gnnngh) 80k it sank to on that ignominious day.  Baa.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

*lets Ben in the door.*

Maybe if you are a very good sheep and ask very nicely, I'll even give you your wool back.


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*Report of enquiry into the behaviour of Iseult the Sheep*​
On 13 March 2012 at 02.32.48 pm, Iseult the Sheep reported "I changed a cover and immediately got a sale." In view of considerable public concern over this announcement, an enquiry was convened the following day.

The board was charged with establishing the motive of Iseult the Sheep in changing his cover, and, if necessary, with recommending sanctions. While the findings here reported are not binding on knights of the Beige Bar, there is a strong presumption in favour of their adoption.

The report finds as follows:

1. It seems probable that the motive of Iseult the Sheep in changing his cover was to increase sales. While it is acceptable, and even praiseworthy, for knights of the Beige Bar to risk promotion of all kinds, it is not acceptable to take any action _with the intention_ of raising sales.

2. The fact that the Sheep's action has thus far resulted in only one sale is not, and cannot be, a mitigating factor.

3. The board notes, however, the Sheep's expression of contrition, which it regards as sincere.

4. In view of this contrition, and taking account also of previous good conduct, the board recommends that the Sheep be permitted to remain at the Beige Bar, but on probation for a period of two weeks. Any repetition of the behaviour reported by the Sheep on 13 March to result in immediate termination.

*God save the King*


----------



## Doctor Barbara (Aug 17, 2010)

Hi all.  Sorry to butt in, perhaps.  Ben, your clover cover is clever for March and tomorrow is St. Patrick's day so perhaps it's catching the eye of readers.  Heck, I see it's # 279 in free rankings.  Maybe there is a pot of gold at the end of the month for you!


----------



## Heather Ross (Sep 8, 2011)

In my absence from this thread my YA novelette has gained new heights and now sits at 604,227. Woot! Woot! *happy dancing*

I can only hope to make it to my birthday in 14 days with the BBoS in my back pocket. You know, to remind me that my rank is getting better while I stuff my face with cake.

Thought about Doctor Barbara's post and wondered if I should photoshop a pot o' gold onto my cover, maybe in place of the cross next to the mangled arm as if the person were reaching for the kettle, but, aw shucks, there came a car. Decided against this as I would be _intentionally trying to increase sales.
_
In other news, a review has been promised for said novelette, but yet to be delivered. I can only hope for anything less than three stars to remain in the running with Mr. RAD. *crosses fingers*

Modified to add sales rank for my illustrated children's book: 610,379! YeeHaw!!! *two steppin' it*
Now I have another BBoS for my other back pocket. Gonna have to eat extra cake to keep my head out of the clouds.


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

I can only throw myself upon the mercy of the court.

Also I only just now realised the St Patrick's Day/clover connection, because it was pointed out to me.  Clearly I am a master of self-promotion. Baa.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Another weeks of Beige Bar Bliss. Royal Flush baby! My first book is ranked at #612,000 and the second is close to #500,000. 

It's just as hard to get a super high ranking as it is to get a super low ranking, if not harder. I tip my hat off to those whose books are ranked higher than my mine. 

Go Fail... er... ah... I mean, go Successful Indies.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> 1. It seems probable that the motive of Iseult the Sheep in changing his cover was to increase sales. While it is acceptable, and even praiseworthy, for knights of the Beige Bar to risk promotion of all kinds, it is not acceptable to take any action _with the intention_ of raising sales.


It seems to me that in some interpretations, changing the cover should be considered a promotion. A risky promotion. However, I believe that the difference is found within the intention. If the intention is to promote the book and acquire new heights from which to fall, this is acceptable, but to STATE and INTEND sales is ...most dishonorable.


----------



## Luckymoose (Jan 23, 2012)

I can hardly _give away_ 200 copies over 3 days. Am I successful yet?


----------



## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

> I can hardly give away 200 copies over 3 days. Am I successful yet?


Oh, yes. It is a noble thing indeed to see people refuse your work, especially when it costs them nothing.


----------



## Romana Grimm (Mar 19, 2012)

Hello everybody, I'm new here and have sold 8 copies (with 9 books on the shelf, although most of them are short stories) this month. In February it was 16     

All I can say is: don't give up! Even if our current books are getting moderate sales right now, there's always the next book. I'm pretty sure that sooner or later one of them will resonate with readers in a big small way  

Cheers,
Romana


----------



## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

I'm happy to report that my titles continue to not sell. Consistency is vital if one wishes to make precise projections and plan accordingly. With these numbers at my disposal, I've done some data crunching and have come up with some solid business projections for the upcoming year: across the board zeros. There's something mesmerizingly serene about the shape of the zero. It's like an hourglass, but without the curved indentation in the middle, the flowing sand, and the obscure Arabic writing that promises immortality, command of a powerful genie, or a large harem.

Attack of the Crazed Environmentalists...#486,409!
Night of the Thanksgiving Turkey Terror...#498,744!
Revenge of the Demented Thespians...#529,143!

Those numbers, ladies and gentlemen, while perhaps not as impressive as those recently won by Mr. Rad and Heather Ross, are nonetheless very respectable. I can still stand proud.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

JacksonJones said:


> Those numbers, ladies and gentlemen, while perhaps not as impressive as those recently won by Mr. Rad and Heather Ross, are nonetheless very respectable. I can still stand proud.


Don't know about you, but I feel lying down on a couch, proud, with a drink in your hand, is much more 'us' than standing up....


----------



## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> Don't know about you, but I feel lying down on a couch, proud, with a drink in your hand, is much more 'us' than standing up....


Ah, but you're currently at #241,739. A lower number like that might make me throw myself on a couch, etc. You are getting dangerously close to #1.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

JacksonJones said:


> Ah, but you're currently at #241,739. A lower number like that might make me throw myself on a couch, etc. You are getting dangerously close to #1.


I am! [crap]. Someone bought a book. Dang, I'm gonna have to grovel to the King again. These blasted dark arts... sometimes, they get you in trouble when you're not looking!!!!

(See, I really really really don't look!)

Edit: That really funny. I wrote S H I T, and it was changed to [crap]. Crap is a ruder word than S H I T in this neck of the woods!


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Another week down, and I'm still Royal Flushin' it with two books!

As a Knight of the Beige Bar, I often unsheathe my sword to sharpen it and catch my reflection in the blade. Lately, my reflection has been frowning at me. I once stared at it so long that it said to me, "Mr. Rad, you're a joke. Only a loser would celebrate his failure. Praising it only fosters more of it."

Now I'm beginning to question my knighthood, growing ever more displeased with this wretched armor that I wear and this sword that I wield. Maybe my reflection is right.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> Another week down, and I'm still Royal Flushin' it with two books!
> 
> As a Knight of the Beige Bar, I often unsheathe my sword to sharpen it and catch my reflection in the blade. Lately, my reflection has been frowning at me. I once stared at it so long that it said to me, "Mr. Rad, you're a joke. Only a loser would celebrate his failure. Praising it only fosters more of it."
> 
> Now I'm beginning to question my knighthood, growing ever more displeased with this wretched armor that I wear and this sword that I wield. Maybe my reflection is right.


Stay strong, Sir, stay strong. The dark will always whisper discontent in the ear. Don't Jump Off The Cliff. Or, at the very least, keep calm and make a cup of tea.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

March began with an unfortunate level of failure, for me - multiple sales across multiple titles, on multiple Amazon sites, and even a couple... reviews.

Fortunately, I'm pleased to note that I'm now celebrating my ninth straight day of resounding, sales-free success; all my Kindle titles with sales ranks are above 300,000, and both of my paperbacks are over 2,000,000.

Best of all, though, is that my latest book is one month old, today, and remains unsold. Yay, me.


----------



## RubyRoyce (Feb 25, 2012)

George Berger said:


> March began with an unfortunate level of failure, for me - multiple sales across multiple titles, on multiple Amazon sites, and even a couple... reviews.
> 
> Fortunately, I'm pleased to note that I'm now celebrating my ninth straight day of resounding, sales-free success; all my Kindle titles with sales ranks are above 300,000, and both of my paperbacks are over 2,000,000.
> 
> Best of all, though, is that my latest book is one month old, today, and remains unsold. Yay, me.


I bought your book!
But maybe another one.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

I believe I can say that I'm acquiring new heights. Despite seven positive reviews on Amazon, three positive ratings on Goodreads, and some details up on both TVTropes.org AND shelfari.... I have had NO new sales in two weeks and am now comfortably rocking a rating well over 300k for one book, and for the other, despite three positive reviews, I am deadly close to the coveted half-mil mark.


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## Heather Ross (Sep 8, 2011)

What the...? 

Some poor soul purchased a copy of my illustrated children's book, no doubt thinking Johnny Mustang was paranormal/sci fi. Imagine their surprise when they witness normal horses running across the screen in not just one color illustration, but 10, which will render like black blobs wearing cat ears. Hmm, maybe there's some truth to paranormal after all...

I am ashamed to report it's now sitting at 173,403.

Before I'm kicked out of this thread I'd like to throw my YA novelette in the ring as a shining example of what I can REALLY do!
It has gained new heights since my last post and hovers at 680,818!
That's gotta cancel out the complete failure mentioned above, right? Anyone? Anyone?


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Your attitude is good, Padawan. Continue your search for the true success.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Bad news, y'all. My Royal Flush is gone and so is my beloved ranking.    

Some poor sap actually bought a copy of my novelette. Don't know why. At the time, it had a ranking of nearly 630,000! It's taken me almost two straight months of zero sales to get that high mark, only to have it drop to 154,000. Even worse is that my Royal Flush has been flushed down the toilet. There goes my hopes of back-to-back months of BBoS royalty.


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## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> Bad news, y'all. My Royal Flush is gone and so is my beloved ranking.
> 
> Some poor sap actually bought a copy of my novelette. Don't know why. At the time, it had a ranking of nearly 630,000! It's taken me almost two straight months of zero sales to get that high mark, only to have it drop to 154,000. Even worse is that my Royal Flush has been flushed down the toilet. There goes my hopes of back-to-back months of BBoS royalty.


Hurrah! Er .. er... I mean Boo! Beloved Lancelot. Shame on you, sir, fior leaving your fair Guinevere to carry the flag of BBoS onward. My ranking flies ever skyward, now 711,490. 
I hope you've not been dallying in the arms of that witch, Morgana. See what comes of it when you do!


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## glennlangohr (Nov 15, 2011)

I love this thread, I feel right at home. Don't worry about the slow start, it will pick up. Your book covers look better then mine, and my sales picked up. Make sure you are in the right categories. Find a good fit by seeking categories that your books won't get lost in until your rankings go up. Work on the book desriptions. Network, facebook, become a prostitute, just kidding. Blessings.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> Hurrah! Er .. er... I mean Boo! Beloved Lancelot. Shame on you, sir, fior leaving your fair Guinevere to carry the flag of BBoS onward. My ranking flies ever skyward, now 711,490.
> I hope you've not been dallying in the arms of that witch, Morgana. See what comes of it when you do!


My apologies, Guinevere. Haven't been in no one else's arms, but I still think dark magic is the culprit.


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## GWakeling (Mar 23, 2012)

This thread is a breath of fresh air after reading all those 'I've sold 10,000 copies this month' lines. Of course, congrats for the success, but makes all us lower sellers feel a bit pants.

I released two weeks ago and have sold two, one to my sister, one to my sister's mother-in-law. Way to go! lol

Geoff


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> My apologies, Guinevere. Haven't been in no one else's arms, but I still think dark magic is the culprit.


Sure, when things go wrong, blame the brunette and smile at the blonde.

No wonder a girl runs to the dark arts now and then.

I have to say, 'tho, in advance, that I'm about to launch a new title in the next coupla weeks. So I'll need some forgiveness then, I'm sure.

I do try and stay strong, but I'm only female...

Drops her eyes to the floor, once more, as does a deep curtsy.

Dang, gotta stop doing that. *Picks up her eyes and sweeps off, exiting stage right*


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## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

My magnum opus, Night of the Thanksgiving Turkey Terror, was free for the last three days. How many free downloads, you might ask? 89. 89, ladies and gentlemen. 89 poor, hoodwinked souls who are now dangerously close to reading my lunatic ravings. That's an average of 27 books a day. I'd like to see if anyone can do worse, I mean better, than that!


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

JacksonJones said:


> My magnum opus, Night of the Thanksgiving Turkey Terror, was free for the last three days. How many free downloads, you might ask? 89. 89, ladies and gentlemen. 89 poor, hoodwinked souls who are now dangerously close to reading my lunatic ravings. That's an average of 27 books a day. I'd like to see if anyone can do worse, I mean better, than that!


Get back to us when one of the freebies has been returned. Only then, do you get a look in.


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## MT Berlyn (Mar 27, 2012)

My book has shown up on a couple of "to-read" lists.  42 on one list.  Does that count?  

My best sales (and reviews) have been out of the UK (bless them), and then only about 15-20 per month.  In the U.S., maybe an average of 2 to 4.

I worry.


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## SSantore (Jun 28, 2011)

Just found this thread and I'm loving it!   I think I belong in this club.  I've had a book for sale since May of last year and only sold about twenty copies.  Recently I put a old published book from years ago that I had the rights returned to me and also put up a sequel to my first book.  Both of those sold one book each, then started dropping with no more sales.  I've had a few interviews and some good reviews on my first book, but no one is finding and buying them, so I'm definitely a big success at being a failure.


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## Heather Ross (Sep 8, 2011)

Three interviews in the last week and I'm happy to report not a single sale for my YA novelette. Woo Hoo! 

To top it off, it's almost my birthday and I'm still starin' at the BBoS! I think sticking with my higher price (2.99) is definitely contributing to my success along with the fact that the cover is, well, obscure?

@JacksonJones - I'm running a current give away to go along with a well hidden interview mentioned above and so far, zero interest! Beat that!


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Hi gang,

I'm happy to report that two of my books have topped the 500,000 mark and one is at about 488,000 when I checked earlier today. (Really, am I supposed to check everyday?)  I've have another new book out for a few days, which isn't even on the radar yet, so I'm waiting to see if there will be a single sale before I can soar to those great heights and finally beat Mr. RAD!


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Debra Purdy Kong said:


> Hi gang,
> 
> I'm happy to report that two of my books have topped the 500,000 mark and one is at about 488,000 when I checked earlier today. (Really, am I supposed to check everyday?) I've have another new book out for a few days, which isn't even on the radar yet, so I'm waiting to see if there will be a single sale before I can soar to those great heights and finally beat Mr. RAD!


It doesn't take much to beat my ranking since some dark magic pulled me from the sky. My ranking fell hard and fast due to one sale, but I've taken to the skies again. _The Pearl of Great Price: A Tale_ is back above 200,000. But my other book sits at 585,000. In about two weeks, it'll pass 600,000. And when it does, you'll all look up to me ... again.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

It is with shame and a heavy heart I think I need to leave this thread. Previously, I may have sold an odd title here or there. My rankings remained high, a few times almost reaching the coveted 600k. Now though, people seem to accidentally stumble across my work. I blame my free book. In the past week, I sold 50 books. Granted most were .99 but still - despicable. I even garnered positive reviews at Amazon and BN (negative too but those are being overlooked for some reason). Hopefully, one day, this strange curse will be lifted. Until then, I will have to ride off into the sunset. Or Mordor. My Arthurian mythology is poor. I will still check on everyone, looking for strength in getting through this. Next month I may be back with my head held high. August for sure (excellent month for success).


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

50!!!! Danielle, I am shocked at your bad behavior. I had thought you were so dedicated, too.


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Bad news indeed, Danielle. You'll be missed. Now, you'll have to work doubly hard to get those ratings back up.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> It is with shame and a heavy heart I think I need to leave this thread. Previously, I may have sold an odd title here or there. My rankings remained high, a few times almost reaching the coveted 600k. Now though, people seem to accidentally stumble across my work. I blame my free book. In the past week, I sold 50 books. Granted most were .99 but still - despicable. I even garnered positive reviews at Amazon and BN (negative too but those are being overlooked for some reason). Hopefully, one day, this strange curse will be lifted. Until then, I will have to ride off into the sunset. Or Mordor. My Arthurian mythology is poor. I will still check on everyone, looking for strength in getting through this. Next month I may be back with my head held high. August for sure (excellent month for success).


I'm delig-- appalled by your succ-- failure.

Your presence peeves us. *snaps fingers, points to the door* And don't forget to hang your head in shame on your way out. Oh, and kick that sheep in here. He needs a beating lest he follow your lead.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> It is with shame and a heavy heart I think I need to leave this thread. Previously, I may have sold an odd title here or there. My rankings remained high, a few times almost reaching the coveted 600k. Now though, people seem to accidentally stumble across my work. I blame my free book. In the past week, I sold 50 books. Granted most were .99 but still - despicable. I even garnered positive reviews at Amazon and BN (negative too but those are being overlooked for some reason). Hopefully, one day, this strange curse will be lifted. Until then, I will have to ride off into the sunset. Or Mordor. My Arthurian mythology is poor. I will still check on everyone, looking for strength in getting through this. Next month I may be back with my head held high. August for sure (excellent month for success).


Poor, poor Danielle. Fifty sales? In one week? Yep. You're outta here.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Your shaming and my banishment are appropriate. And I fear things have once again taken a dreadful turn. I was chosen by POI. This shall not end well.


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## TimMiller2011 (Mar 29, 2012)

My book has been out a month and I've sold 13 copies


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

That's a bad start, Tim, but we can still hope.


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## TimMiller2011 (Mar 29, 2012)

bad as in actually bad? OR bad as in this threads standards bad? lol


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Read the thread, young knight. Live the thread.


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## TimMiller2011 (Mar 29, 2012)

gotcha....I'm new here on the forum so still feeling my way around


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Welcome, and have fun!


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## jhendereson (Oct 22, 2010)

Danielle, I read your post in a thread the other day where you reported making money on your books and my heart sank. No doubt other defections from this humorist group are in the future. When Mr. Rad and Ian start making money, all will be lost here, including the first-rate humor. So fond of reading the posts here I actually considered slamming my own work with negative reviews so I could join the club. Honestly, all joking aside, I admire everyone who posts here for their candor, humility, and ability to make light of situations and consequences that would slay mere mortals.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> Your shaming and my banishment are appropriate. And I fear things have once again taken a dreadful turn. I was chosen by POI. This shall not end well.


Don't outcast yourself, dearest. You can take refuge at my place, until your rankings rise again!  Maybe the dark magic will rub off... I mean, be banished for ever!


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## TimMiller2011 (Mar 29, 2012)

Well today was a close call.  I almost sold some books today.  One of my friends who is a college professor told her class about my book.  Fortunately no one bought any.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Tim, thank god. Very close call there. Now let me explain -- that is a beautiful failure right there. You give yourself a pat on the back.

Now, I would like throw down the gauntlet. I have published my THIRD book (second in a series) -- brand new covers on ALL of them as of last night. Two are coming of KDP in the next week so they can be cross-posted again to other lucrative sites. If I can't get a sale with that kind of dedication and effort then I say that this is a real measure of success and I expect, no... demand a title. Such as "Earl Patsy." That has a nice ring.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

II was recently interviewed by a writing website and got an unsolicited four-star review from a book blogger, neither of which resulted in a single sale, so far as I can tell. (And the review is for a KDP Select title, so there aren't any as-yet-unknown Apple or Sony sales, or anything, there.)

Also, back in January, I donated a copy of one of my paperbacks I had around here to a local thrift store. I happened to stop in the store today, to browse their sizable book selection. I found an obscure gothic romance I hadn't heard of before... and saw the copy of my novel, still sitting there, unsold, more than two months later. It's $1.99, less 25% on weekends.

Yay me.


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## Angerona Love (Aug 5, 2011)

This is truly one of the best threads on these boards! I love it!

My main book, the one in my signature, disqualifies me. I sell 6-10 a week, which, given my subject matter, is amazing to me.

However, I also have two books that are reworked public domain books that are a true success. They are completely inline with this thread and would put me in the running for at least an Honorary Mention.

And yet I have another public domain book, a reworked cookbook, that does quite well, and it's only 40 recipes. Go figure. Of course, it takes a lot of books at a 35 cent royalty to pay for anything more than a cup of coffee. Coffee with milk maybe? If I wait for a glass of wine, I'll be thirsty for more than a month.


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## number12 (Mar 11, 2012)

My books, Not counting the short stories that I put up for free and trying to get smashwords to help put them for free on amazon. The actual books being two Amber Light Memories and God Life without religion. 
In a month I have sold an outstanding 5 e-books. Two on the first and three on the second. 
I am planning on releasing my third book in Mid April. Had setbacks but I hope by then to learn from my mistakes.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

jnfr said:


> Read the thread, young knight. Live the thread.


Be the thread...


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

YES!!!

My second book has reached a ranking of 600,000 and beyond. Both of my masterpieces have met this milestone. And in the same month too.  Only wish that the person who bought a book recently and pulled my first book's ranking down hadn't done so.

Behold the awesome.


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## MartinLake (May 9, 2011)

This is a wonderful thread, Iain.  

My latest novel, Artful, may be a contender.

March 6 copies sold, 1 to me, 1 to my wife, 1 to my best friend.
April 3 copies sold.


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## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

MartinLake said:


> This is a wonderful thread, Iain.
> 
> My latest novel, Artful, may be a contender.
> 
> ...


Oui, oui, bon bon, alors! This shows promise Martin. We'll make you a Knight of the Beige Bar, yet. Keep up the good work.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> Behold the awesome.


Your awesome is duly being holden.


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## GWakeling (Mar 23, 2012)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> It is with shame and a heavy heart I think I need to leave this thread. Previously, I may have sold an odd title here or there. My rankings remained high, a few times almost reaching the coveted 600k. Now though, people seem to accidentally stumble across my work. I blame my free book. In the past week, I sold 50 books. Granted most were .99 but still - despicable. I even garnered positive reviews at Amazon and BN (negative too but those are being overlooked for some reason). Hopefully, one day, this strange curse will be lifted. Until then, I will have to ride off into the sunset. Or Mordor. My Arthurian mythology is poor. I will still check on everyone, looking for strength in getting through this. Next month I may be back with my head held high. August for sure (excellent month for success).


THIS! Made me seriously chuckle this morning...thanks for bringing a smile. We'll miss you, but lets hope we don't see you in this thread again


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## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

MartinLake said:


> March 6 copies sold, 1 to me, 1 to my wife, 1 to my best friend.
> April 3 copies sold.


Let me add my congratulations to Lynda's. You are starting well. I would like to encourage you to even greater accomplishments. If you can secure a return from your best friend and, hopefully, your wife as well, then you have a truly worthy achievement. Good luck!


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## lorelei (Feb 25, 2012)

Now that April has begun, we can have a fun contest--who gets to keep their brown bars of shame the longest. At the moment, (1:10 pm, EST), I'm a strong contender for 1st place--having nothing but brown bars of shame in every single category. Let's see how long I can maintain it. Come on, who else wants to play?


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## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Good grief! It's only day one. When you've had BBOSs for four straight months - or even a year in the case of Mr RAD - then you can start bragging. Besides, this isn't a game. This is a fight to the bottom.


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## gordonkess (Jul 13, 2011)

Okay, I'm not going to tell you my sales numbers, because you'd kick me out. But I do want to help those who are sitting on the top of your ranks (like selling 0 books and onesy-twosies). I was doing little more than that up until around October 2011. And I dropped back down there for a couple of weeks beginning in March. But, as Curly from "City Slickers" might say, "I found that ONE thing" (I stole this from one of John Locke's blog posts). And I believe I've found something that really works, besides being pretty simple.

I hope I haven't stepped on your toes!

Here's a sample:

*Your EBook Sales Tanked? There is hope!*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have a theory ("The Big Slump Theory") of why eBook sales aren't where we might expect them to be, and what hope there is for an upswing.

This is the start of my blog post on my blog site at http://gordonkessler.com. I hope you'll check it out and join in.

My thriller Brainstorm was averaging 50+ book sales a day following two Amazon "free" days during the first of January. This was a great improvement over pre-Kindle Select months, and at that point I was absolutely sure I was on my way to the top!

*Boom!*

By the end of January, I felt as if someone had stepped on my neck. Sales of all my books dropped and became very sporadic. February's daily sales average was in single digits-and that was counting all of my books (mostly Brainstorm, with Dead Reckoning having a fair showing in comparison, Jezebel making an appearance and the short stories doing some onesy-twosies). Early in March, I had my first shutout since September 2011-and more followed.

Still, I had big hopes with my new men's action/adventure novel, Knight's Ransom, when I threw it out into the Kindle Select river of dreams&#8230;but its debut didn't go so well-only sold 20 in its first thirty days (following two free days that only had 150 downloads). I'm fairly confident, however, that after I publish two or three more books in the series and receive a few more really good reviews, it will do much better. Why? Please keep reading.

*The Foundation*

Did I mention that I'd been trying to build my house of success without a foundation? I didn't? Well, here's the thing: my eBook writing career was almost completely dependent on my books selling themselves.

Sure, I had a website-a not too impressive one that I had a hard time keeping updated. I had a blog that I posted on every few months. I tweeted and posted on Facebook every time I put a new book out or ran a promotion. And that's all. I thought I was doing everything I could. After all, I had a website, a blog and I was social networking. I was doing everything that all the successful indie writers were doing, right?
Wrong. I was just going through the motions. My marketing plan had no heart-it wasn't a marketing plan at all.

*Good Morning! Would You Like a Shopping Cart?*

So, before I gave up my writing dream and applied to Wal-Mart for a greeter job, I went back to take a second look at all of those brave eBook-author trailblazers, who had actually cut the ePub trail before us, to determine what I was doing wrong. This time I didn't just read their books and blog posts about ePublishing, I studied them.

*Braveheart*

Like William Wallace riding up and down in front of the ranks of Scottish warriors, the successful eBook pioneers had been trying to motivate and educate us late-comer indies. I'm talking about bestselling indie/traditionally published writers like Joe Konrath (you gotta check out his Newbie's Guide to Publishing blog) and Barry Eisler, bestselling indie author John Locke, as well as Smashwords.com founder Mark Coker (he's got a great blog as well!). They've been doing about everything they can to rally us in the battle against the Big Six Publishers and those who poo-poo indie writers and the entire indie ePublishing industry. This includes bestselling traditionally published author and Authors Guild (check out their blog) president Scott Turow.

*HERE ARE THE PARAGRAPH HEADINGS FOR THE REST OF THE POST:

Strategery, Mr. President!

The Big Slump Theory

Reading Turtles Pigging Out Before the End of Days!

Improvise, Marine!

Wanna Buy Some Pictures of My Ugly Grandkids?

Barefoot In a Cow Pasture (you'll find cool green grass and warm squishy bullsh*t, so watch your step)

Puppy Dogs and Rolling Stones

Hey Ol' Timer

Bob Dylan, Easy Rider and The Long and Winding Road*

I hope you find the time to drop by my blog--and I hope it helps. Please review the entire post and comment on this discussion about "The Big Slump Theory" and other important concerns to us "indie" authors including eBooks sales and promotion strategies! http://gordonkessler.com/2012/04/01/your-ebook-sales-in-the-tank-theres-hope-8/

The best of good luck and fortune to you all!

Gordon

​


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## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

> Okay, I'm not going to tell you my sales numbers, because you'd kick me out. But I do want to help those who are sitting on the top of your ranks (like selling 0 books and onesy-twosies).


You say you're trying to help us, yet your post is about _selling_ books. At first I found this behavior very duplicitous.

...but then I remembered that it's April Fool's Day. Well done, sir. You got me.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Just updated "The Post" so give it a read.

Anyway, I finished March 2012 with one sale. Had that not happened, my book's rank would be near 650,000 right now and I would have a back-to-back Royal Flush. 

But a new month has arrived and I'm seeing brown everywhere. Will I get my second Royal Flush of this young year? I can only hope.


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## lorelei (Feb 25, 2012)

Mr Rad, if you keep boasting, I'm going to have to buy one of your books. 
By the way, I'm ashamed to say I've just lost my own contest--someone in the Uk actually bought my book.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

lorelei said:


> Mr Rad, if you keep boasting, I'm going to have to buy one of your books.
> By the way, I'm ashamed to say I've just lost my own contest--someone in the Uk actually bought my book.


Ahem. That is dastardly. And more to the point, against the rules.


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## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

The winds of fate have turned against me.  A book club on Goodreads is reading one of my novels this month.  Hopefully, I'll be the only one participating.


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## Heather Ross (Sep 8, 2011)

Danielle Kazemi said:


> It is with shame and a heavy heart I think I need to leave this thread. Previously, I may have sold an odd title here or there. My rankings remained high, a few times almost reaching the coveted 600k. Now though, people seem to accidentally stumble across my work. I blame my free book. In the past week, I sold 50 books. Granted most were .99 but still - despicable. I even garnered positive reviews at Amazon and BN (negative too but those are being overlooked for some reason). Hopefully, one day, this strange curse will be lifted. Until then, I will have to ride off into the sunset. Or Mordor. My Arthurian mythology is poor. I will still check on everyone, looking for strength in getting through this. Next month I may be back with my head held high. August for sure (excellent month for success).


And just when I was beginning to truly look up to you. 

Not that I need much instruction since my YA novelette hung on and finished March 2012 with exactly --- zero sales!!! This mere act of success brought my rank to 715,726! Woo Woo! *raises hands in the air doing happy dance*

In other news, my illustrated children's book has bounced back from it's one sale and near failure to a successful ranking of 397,853! Oh yeah! *high fives herself*

I can only hope for the same stellar results in April, but they wont' be as sweet seeing as how my bday was in March.

@Mr. RAD - dare I say, beat that?


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Heather Ross said:


> ...Not that I need much instruction since my YA novelette hung on and finished March 2012 with exactly --- zero sales!!! This mere act of success brought my rank to 715,726! Woo Woo! *raises hands in the air doing happy dance*
> ...
> 
> @Mr. RAD - dare I say, beat that?


Your current ranking is 716,540!
















Congrats! Don't think I can compete with that rankings-wise. Not yet at least.


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## Lee Argus (Jun 23, 2011)

The 1st month for a full length novel $69
2nd month added a novel I had wrote a few years ago and my sales doubled.
3rd month I was sold near 500.
4th month with free days on amazon- 931 copies 
5th month, I un-published to find a new editor.
t's possible that my blog may have helped my sales. Readers were able to get to know me.

sales exceeded my expectations, but it's still fairly low in comparison to J.A. Konrath or Amanda Hocking.


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## M Ramberg (Jun 23, 2011)

This is a sad thread for me. All you folks with lousy sales are still better than mine... Going to go drink beer...


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## SSantore (Jun 28, 2011)

Oh no! _A Singular Gift_ is up to 80,000s rank. Whatever shall I do!


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

SSantore said:


> Oh no! _A Singular Gift_ is up to 80,000s rank. Whatever shall I do!


Stay quiet and look pretty. That's what I do when dark magic moves about in the court.

No one notices as long as you keep your nerve.

Shhhh.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> Stay quiet and look pretty. That's what I do when dark magic moves about in the court.
> 
> No one notices as long as you keep your nerve.
> 
> Shhhh.


Top notch advice. Good work.


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Hi folks, just checked my rankings today, and am proud to say that The Opposite of Dark is at a whopping #589,000 this morning. Taxed to Death and Fatal Encryption are also over 500,000 and the newest Deadly Accusations just showed up on Kindle about 3 weeks ago and has yet to earn a ranking. I'm getting closer to Mr. Rad's lofty 600,000+ ranking!


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Heather Ross said:


> And just when I was beginning to truly look up to you.
> 
> Not that I need much instruction since my YA novelette hung on and finished March 2012 with exactly --- zero sales!!! This mere act of success brought my rank to 715,726! Woo Woo! *raises hands in the air doing happy dance*
> 
> ...


Wild applause for Heather! Now that, Madam, is true success!! I salute you from my lowly position of less than 700,000.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Heather Ross,

I just took another look at your books and both of them have gotten the hammer. Your beloved 700,000+ ranking for _Highway 90_ is gone! It's now under 150,000! And that 400,000+ ranking for your children's book has been reduced to 209,000!

A double whammy (or cleaning if you're a _Wool_ fan)!


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## Edward W. Robertson (May 18, 2010)

If I may toot my own horn, my previously-disgraced title--that recently bounced as low as #70,000--has since ascended to #621,020. It's going to take at least another month of hard work before it reaches its former heights, but I'm proud of its ongoing success and devotion to the cause.


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Fantastic, Edward! Congratulations on all the hard work.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Edward W. Robertson said:


> If I may toot my own horn, my previously-disgraced title--that recently bounced as low as #70,000--has since ascended to #621,020. It's going to take at least another month of hard work before it reaches its former heights, but I'm proud of its ongoing success and devotion to the cause.


A thorough, thorough round of applause for this young man, please. What an upstanding member he is.

Now, I do have a question for you all that is a pressing matter indeed. I've been informed that the grammatical style I follow is perhaps.... not the most common one found in literary pursuits, however it fits the genre for the book series in question. Is writing a less standard style cheating? It might have the potential of running readers off, at least those for whom the style is quite unfamiliar (however, this would have to be readers from primarily outside the genre, I think.)


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

I'm happy to report that my mystery, The Opposite of Dark, is now at #602,000. I finally made it above 600,000. Taxed to Death and Fatal Encryption are closing in as well!


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

EStoops said:


> Now, I do have a question for you all that is a pressing matter indeed. I've been informed that the grammatical style I follow is perhaps.... not the most common one found in literary pursuits, however it fits the genre for the book series in question. Is writing a less standard style cheating? It might have the potential of running readers off, at least those for whom the style is quite unfamiliar (however, this would have to be readers from primarily outside the genre, I think.)


I don't think its cheating in your case because it's done with a purpose in mind. If it's not everyone's cup of tea, so be it. By the way, I have a writing friend who writes nontraditional fantasy. She had a couple of readers complain about the lack of tradition, so when she promotes she now says something like "if you want traditional fantasy don't read this book" and her sales have jumped. So, if you said something like "not for the grammatically correct reader" who knows what might happen?

Best of luck,
Debra


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

EStoops said:


> Is writing a less standard style cheating? It might have the potential of running readers off, at least those for whom the style is quite unfamiliar (however, this would have to be readers from primarily outside the genre, I think.)


Not at all! It'd be one thing if you invented your own arbitrary style - say, one in which capitalization, punctuation, and dialogue tags do not exist, or one in which they're applied... selectively... I get the impression you're probably writing in a somewhat period style, which I think is perfectly fair.

I say this, note, having perpetrated two novellas in a reasonably accurate reproduction of circa-1910 populist adventure novels, partly for my own amusement (one features a grammatically-correct sentence which, at the default font settings, is about _one and a half Kindle screens long_...) and partly out of irritation with dogmatic style guides which insist that, despite the continuing popularity of the books of yesteryear, nobody wants to read anything that's not written in today's somewhat insipid _style du jour_. (Obligatory disclosure: One of these novellas has sales rank ~682,000 on Amazon, the other has _no sales rank at all_ after nine months. Whether they have achieved these heady levels of success due to their literary style or their being infused with pure unadulterated George Berger-ness is something I'm afraid I can't answer...)


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Debra Purdy Kong said:


> I don't think its cheating in your case because it's done with a purpose in mind. If it's not everyone's cup of tea, so be it. By the way, I have a writing friend who writes nontraditional fantasy. She had a couple of readers complain about the lack of tradition, so when she promotes she now says something like "if you want traditional fantasy don't read this book" and her sales have jumped. So, if you said something like "not for the grammatically correct reader" who knows what might happen?
> 
> Best of luck,
> Debra


Perhaps, as it is grammatically correct, simply advertise it for "the non-traditional [correct genre here] reader." Hmmmmm. I must consider this.


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

600 000 is nothing. I have two books at #843 347 and #879 678 respectively.


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## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

> 600 000 is nothing. I have two books at #843 347 and #879 678 respectively.


I've noticed this as well. I sinfully sold a copy a few days ago, and my ranking is already back in the 200,000s, and 400,000s are easily attainable nowadays. Amazon has been moving the goal posts on us.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

CoraBuhlert said:


> 600 000 is nothing. I have two books at #843 347 and #879 678 respectively.


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## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

CoraBuhlert said:


> 600 000 is nothing. I have two books at #843 347 and #879 678 respectively.


I can only bow in amazement at your sheer awesomeness. I, myself, have recently attained the dizzying heights of 637,691, but you, Madame, have made your celestial home in the stratosphere. I can only marvel at how pure the air must be up there. If I may be so bold to speak for the rest of us mere mortals, we shall continue to struggle, like poor Icarus, in hopes of joining you some happy day.


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

CoraBuhlert said:


> 600 000 is nothing. I have two books at #843 347 and #879 678 respectively.


Oh my, I see I have work to do! And I thought I was doing so well...


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

CoraBuhlert said:


> 600 000 is nothing. I have two books at #843 347 and #879 678 respectively.


Oh my! Has anyone told the King?


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*The Dark Knight of the Sole is among us*​


Mr. RAD said:


> As a Knight of the Beige Bar, I often unsheathe my sword to sharpen it and catch my reflection in the blade. Lately, my reflection has been frowning at me. I once stared at it so long that it said to me, "Mr. Rad, you're a joke. Only a loser would celebrate his failure. Praising it only fosters more of it."
> 
> Now I'm beginning to question my knighthood, growing ever more displeased with this wretched armor that I wear and this sword that I wield. Maybe my reflection is right.


Sir Lancelot himself in despair? On reading this, I feared the worst.

And since then, the Beige Bar has come under attack from book-buying trolls RubyRoyce (Reply #76 and Lorelei (Reply #816), advice-giving troll Glennlangohr (Reply #774), and bragging troll Lee Argus (Reply #821). Most dangerous of all, Gordonkess (Reply #813) has made a determined attempt to destroy completely the fellowship of the Beige Bar. (Kathelm points out that this troll posted on April Fool's Day, but I suspect that he saw this as salt-rubbing.)

Then there was the sad demise of Danielle (Reply #785), one of the greatest among us. And to add to our grief, Gwakeling sneers (Reply #809) "let's hope we don't see you in this thread again." Where is your sense of decency, sir?

There is no end to it. Kathelm (Reply #81 tells us that "A book club on Goodreads is reading one of my novels this month."

Enough. Sir Lancelot believed two weeks ago that he had encountered the dark night of the soul. He was mistaken. His meeting was in fact with the Dark Knight of the Sole. The most terrible of our enemies is abroad, and we must all be vigilant. Any Knight of the Beige Bar who feels that he has been slapped across the face by a wet fish should be in no doubt that the Dark Knight of the Sole is upon him, and he must fight as he has never fought before.

(I might add that I suspect that Morgan le Fay knows more about this than she's letting on, but we shall see. If that witch is involved, she won't be able to resist bragging about it sooner or later.)

The only sure defence against the Dark Knight is the Red Mist of Resignation. Cease all promotional effort, never check sales figures. This is my own practice, and I commend it to you all.

Take heart. These are difficult and dangerous times, but if we remain strong, the Dark Knight himself will be powerless against sales figures such as ours.


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

I appreciate your encouraging words, Iain. Well spoken!

And Cora has set us all a real challenge there. We can only work hard to rise to the occasion.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *The Dark Knight of the Sole is among us*​
> (I might add that I suspect that Morgan le Fay knows more about this than she's letting on, but we shall see. If that witch is involved, she won't be able to resist bragging about it sooner or later.)


Stays perfectly still and quiet, whilst looking pretty. *flutter*


----------



## Heather Ross (Sep 8, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> Heather Ross,
> 
> I just took another look at your books and both of them have gotten the hammer. Your beloved 700,000+ ranking for _Highway 90_ is gone! It's now under 150,000! And that 400,000+ ranking for your children's book has been reduced to 209,000!
> 
> A double whammy (or cleaning if you're a _Wool_ fan)!


Dang! I was hoping no one noticed. I should have known by calling out Mr. RAD I would intend be directing the spotlight on myself.

Yes sir, you are indeed correct. I failed miserably with the sale of three books in the last week (two to a friend, which, I will argue to the death, should not be counted in said rankings.)

However, I am pleased to report my YA novelette, Highway 90, is slowly climbing the ladder of success currently on rung 253,058.
My children's book, Johnny Mustang, has gained strides passing the 301,000 mark.

Fear not! I have ceased all promotion of these books heeding the advice of various threads that said, "It's a waste of time to promote if you don't have a gazillion books out," or something to that effect.

Now THAT oughta make me real successful! Can't wait to report back the results! (Sit tight Mr. RAD. )


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## jasonzc (Dec 23, 2011)

I'll start. 

Hi, I'm Jason. I sold 36 books last month. This month looks to be...worse. My blurbs aren't that great, and 50% of the people polled hate my covers.

Meh.


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## MegHarris (Mar 4, 2010)

You may have been put off by the subject line and not opened the thread, but the "Successful indies only, please" thread is actually very much along these lines. 

http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,82422.0.html


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## Jena H (Oct 2, 2011)

The way I look at it is, we managed to get our books "out there" and available, including getting covers attached. That means that as far as the _process_ of publishing goes, we're "successful." The sales part...? Another story.  (And I'm in same that boat with you, Jason.)


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## :Ngo: (Apr 5, 2012)

<3 the thread title.

Zombie Killa is a fun cover, by the way. I diggeth the campy, pulp feel.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

As Ellen has said, the "Successful Indies Only thread title is tongue-in-cheek, and is very much the same as this thread.  Accordingly, I'll be merging this.

Betsy


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

I have to say new people, you're not gonna be popular here with somethign like 36 sales a month.  Waaayyy too low a ranking.  I'd sit tight until your up to about #500 000 before feeling you should join in.  Recently, the bar was raised all the way up to the #800 000.

Also, I'd see what positions in the court are available.  The King is pretty strict.  (Well, about Dark Magic, at least.)


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## jasonzc (Dec 23, 2011)

EllenFisher said:


> You may have been put off by the subject line and not opened the thread, but the "Successful indies only, please" thread is actually very much along these lines.
> 
> http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,82422.0.html


Now I have to go back and read the opening pages again. I saw the huge sales numbers and closed it. Sarcasm? From writers?


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## jasonzc (Dec 23, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> All right, let's see what we've got. Pay attention, please.
> 
> *Nicholas*: By my calculations, you are averaging five sales per book per month, which is creditable, but nowhere near top of the list. And it's not good news that your sales increase from time to time. To make things worse, you've got reviews. You're going to have to work hard to keep those numbers down.
> 
> ...


One post, and I'm already a fan of your writing. And a Manson, no less...


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## jasonzc (Dec 23, 2011)

Oh, man. I blogged and tweeted and facebooked Iain's poem, urging people to buy his books. How's that for dirty pool?

I know I opened a thread on this board that was talking about 50,000 in sales, etc. and immediately backed out of it. I was pretty sure it was this thread. Oops.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

jasonzc said:


> Oh, man. I blogged and tweeted and facebooked Iain's poem, urging people to buy his books. How's that for dirty pool?


*screams* 'My Lord, Sire..' throws herself to the stone floor (makes a change from chucking my eyes down there) 'I assure you, this man HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!. Keep me safe from his foul magic.'

And while you'rr at it, ask if he's been hanging around Guinevere... (Hey, when I see an opportunity, I take it.) 

Now, presuming I'm off the hook for a couple of days... wonder what trouble I can get into over there, where no one is looking...


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

There goes the neighbourhood!

(Baa.)


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

I must confess that I never looked at this thread before, since I assumed the title was meant seriously. And I'm pretty much the anti-thesis of successful.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

jasonzc said:


> I'll start.
> 
> Hi, I'm Jason. I sold 36 books last month. This month looks to be...worse. My blurbs aren't that great, and 50% of the people polled hate my covers.
> 
> Meh.


You sold 36 books last month, eh? Well my friend, this is NOT the thread for you. Even though your blurbs aren't great and readers hate your covers, you still made 36 sales in one month. That sucks!



jasonzc said:


> Oh, man. I blogged and tweeted and facebooked Iain's poem, urging people to buy his books. How's that for dirty pool?


Sabotage? This guy is trying to derail a fellow indie's success... openly and without remorse? Enough! I'm pulling my sword on this one! Slay the troll!!!










*My apologies...this pic is the best I could find in such short notice.


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

You all may have a tongue in *your* cheek, but my husband is asleep at the moment, so keep that stuff to yourself!


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Good news everyone. The first seven days of April are going well. Royal Flush baby! Hopefully by Friday the 13th my latest novel will have reached 700,000 in the rankings. Still not high as Cora's but pretty darn decent.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

CoraBuhlert said:


> I must confess that I never looked at this thread before, since I assumed the title was meant seriously. And I'm pretty much the anti-thesis of successful.


Likewise. For the longest time I avoided this thread, knowing full well I oughtn't go where I wasn't wanted.

Then someone clued me in that was, in fact, a support thread for the, ahem, differently-successful, d'oh.

I'm happy to be able to report having excellent amounts of success, so far this month. I note with some worry that my most recent novel has acquired - the heresy! - a five-star rating from someone on Goodreads, and worry this development may be detrimental to that book's current, um, 319,000 ranking. Then I remember that no other dangerously positive review or rating has had any perceptible effect, and worry rather less. My success shall not be denied so easily, hah!

Also, in keeping with my grand traditions (in the sense that anything you do more than twice is a tradition...) of awesomeness and cunning, I have a new release scheduled to hit Amazon's virtual shelves on Friday the 13th, proudly bearing the best cover an indifferent teenager on Fiverr can throw together in a hurry. Its success shall be glorious!


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## MrPLD (Sep 23, 2010)

Oh well, add me as another who thought this thread was serious too... sheeesh.

So, what's the maximum level of success required before being banned?


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

MrPLD said:


> Oh well, add me as another who thought this thread was serious too... sheeesh.
> 
> So, what's the maximum level of success required before being banned?


We just bloody the trolls and ask them to shut up. Usually works.

And we do realise we are a very select few. You know, people who can actually read....


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> As Ellen has said, the "Successful Indies Only thread title is tongue-in-cheek, and is very much the same as this thread. Accordingly, I'll be merging this.
> Betsy


By altering the title of this thread, B the Q has at a stroke excluded the trolls we all have such fun with. Accordingly, and despite her status as moderator, B the Q is terminated.



jasonzc said:


> Oh, man. I blogged and tweeted and facebooked Iain's poem, urging people to buy his books. How's that for dirty pool?


Unspeakable. Jason is terminated. (Mr. RAD/Sir Lancelot is on your case, Jason. You won't last.)

As for me, fortunately, my defence is in place. Since I do no social networking, the effects of the said Jason's treachery will be limited. All who serve the Beige Bar be warned: with the Knight of the Dark Sole among us, _social networking is dangerous_.



Morgan Gallagher said:


> *screams* 'My Lord, Sire..' throws herself to the stone floor (makes a change from chucking my eyes down there) 'I assure you, this man HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!. Keep me safe from his foul magic.'
> 
> And while you'rr at it, ask if he's been hanging around Guinevere... (Hey, when I see an opportunity, I take it.)
> 
> Now, presuming I'm off the hook for a couple of days... wonder what trouble I can get into over there, where no one is looking...


Witch! Were you not my sister, I'd have you terminated. And the truth of your part in the Dark Knight's evil will come out, have no doubt of it.

*In these evil days, we must maintain our resolve, firm in the knowledge that things are not nearly as bad as they would be if they were a great deal worse than they actually are.*


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *In these evil days, we must maintain our resolve, firm in the knowledge that things are not nearly as bad as they would be if they were a great deal worse than they actually are.*


Words for the ages, Iain, as always.


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## jasonzc (Dec 23, 2011)

Ack! Retribution is swift indeed. Someone propelled Perfect Me to ~62000...

But I think I'm going to petition Amazon to let us select the color of the brown bar in the future.

Two more books before I manage to sell a single copy of each one this month. Iain, if it makes you feel any better, all the promoting I do has an adverse effect on books sales...


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> Good news everyone. The first seven days of April are going well. Royal Flush baby! Hopefully by Friday the 13th my latest novel will have reached 700,000 in the rankings. Still not high as Cora's but pretty darn decent.


My exalted ranking requires a not very fashionable style (epistolary horror fiction) and only selling a single copy in six months.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

CoraBuhlert said:


> My exalted ranking requires a not very fashionable style (epistolary horror fiction) and only selling a single copy in six months.


Interesting. I keep saying I want to write an epistolary novel(la); your significant and admirable success with the form may well be the impetus I needed to actually make it happen.


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Well, it was a collection of epistolary flash fiction in my case. And some of the letters got their start as an exercise for my ESL students, because our textbooks kept including excerpts from agony aunt columns for teens, which the students were supposed to discuss (with predictable enthusiasm). After a while, writing fake "Dear Abby" letters from troubled teens got so annoying that I thought, "Why the heck can't a vampire or werewolf write a letter for a change?" I quite liked the letters, wrote some replies and put them in a collection together with one or two other pieces of epistolary flash fiction I had lying around. 

So if you aim to maintain your staggering success, George, epistolary fiction may well be the way to go.


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## MrPLD (Sep 23, 2010)

Had a big burst of success in February (hundreds)... but have since dwindled back to ~1/day... and that'll probably change to 0.5/day soon.


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## ASparrow (Oct 12, 2009)

On Wednesday, my latest novel (priced at $0.99) will have achieved a total of zero sales in the first 2 months of release (title and link omitted to prevent sabotage!). It is currently un-ranked (I assume a book has to have at least one sale to attain a ranking?). Who can beat that for success? 

And not only that, I am currently happily and frantically (adverbly) working on the sequel to be released this summer. My goal is to have the sequel out before anyone buys a copy of the first book. How's that for futility?


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

I would conclude that publishing the sequel before the first novel has sold a single copy is a coup. And perhaps a rare and vaunted achievement. Write fast before someone sabotages you.

I wanted to report in a little success of my own. After getting my book into the top ten (free) in its category, and giving away nearly 5000 copies -- I have sold 6. That's it. It didn't even get into the bottom of the top one-hundred for its paid category. And it didn't get a single new review. Haha! I'm told that the bump provided by a giveaway is often huge, so clearly, I've fallen from a pretty high battlemount. ALSO, a new book, hoping to ride on its brother's shoulders and have a stunning free weekend of its own was only able to give itself away to 123 people, most of whom I suspect I know.

My next goal -- giving away 6k copies and getting no sales!


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## MT Berlyn (Mar 27, 2012)

I am thinking of changing the title of my novel to, _The Invisible Book_, in keeping with the situation.


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## Erika Gilbert (Apr 6, 2012)

You are going to be proud of me. Blood Talisman, currently sits at 815,603. My first self-published book sold more on it's first day than Blood Talisman has done in over two years.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Erika Gilbert said:


> You are going to be proud of me. Blood Talisman, currently sits at 815,603. My first self-published book sold more on it's first day than Blood Talisman has done in over two years.


Bravo, Erica! Bravo! We certainly are proud of you. Welcome aboard.









And in other news, my book _Broke A$ Hell_ has just earned a ranking of 701,000! Every move up is a new rankings milestone for this piece.


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Of my paltry four sales (between 15 books) this month so far, one just got returned. Success, it's so dizzying.


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## EmersonHarris (Apr 10, 2012)

This thread is an inspiration. When I finally publish, I just want to know that at least one person who I don't know bought it! ;-)


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## TexasGirl (Dec 21, 2011)

After six months on the Kindle, I finally got a sale on my book for kids!!!

Then it got returned 12 hours later.

Man oh man. Better to have loved and lost?


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## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

TexasGirl said:


> After six months on the Kindle, I finally got a sale on my book for kids!!!
> 
> Then it got returned 12 hours later.


That is excellent news. I trust you are encouraged by this splendid turn of events.

There is an ancient truth that we should all cling to for solace. It is simply this: even if you reach the very bottom, you can always start digging.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

TexasGirl said:


> Man oh man. Better to have loved and lost?


Is it nobler to languish for eternity with no sales rank whatsoever, or climb, sisyphean, the ladder of success with an ever-increasing sales rank? Hmm...


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## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Oh woe! Woe and thrice woe!

_Runs dishevelled through the streets of Camelot_

I am undone! (_Checks front of dress. No, that's OK_)

My lords and ladies, I crave your indulgence and your mercy - and will someone please tell Morgan to take her eyes off the floor before I tread on them. My lords, I have returned after the Holy Days - from my pilgrimage to the shrine of the Blessed St. George (the Berger) - to discover my BBOS gone and my coveted and flourishing ranking of 711,490 replaced by a shrivelled 263,198. To think that one paltry sale could wreak so much havoc.

Who could have done this? Is my crown, my position as Guinevere, your queen, in peril? I promise to do better.

Oh! Iinfamy! Infamy! They've all got it infamy!


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> Oh woe! Woe and thrice woe!
> Who could have done this? Is my crown, my position as Guinevere, your queen, in peril? I promise to do better.
> 
> Oh! Iinfamy! Infamy! They've all got it infamy!


Never mind dear sister. I will support you in this time of dark magic. Would you like some wine to sooth your nerves? I have a potion nice shiraz just here, have some. It will calm your nerves. I'm sure the king will understand, he doth love you so.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> Oh woe! Woe and thrice woe!
> 
> _Runs dishevelled through the streets of Camelot_
> 
> ...


There is an evil force against you. May I suggest a thorough exorcism?


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## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> Never mind dear sister. I will support you in this time of dark magic. Would you like some wine to sooth your nerves? I have a potion nice shiraz just here, have some. It will calm your nerves. I'm sure the king will understand, he doth love you so.


Well, I prefer Merlot, but a nice shiraz will do. Thank you for thinking of me, Lady Morgan. You are a true friend.

Wait!

_The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true. Or is it: The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true_. Hell! Just pass me the bottle.

Estoops: I have performed the exorcism - there has been no recurrence of this failure, but then when did I ever sell more than one a week?


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> _The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true. Or is it: The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true_. Hell! Just pass me the bottle.


Bottle? This is the court of the King, milady. 'Sides, I don't think we've invented glass bottles yet. *hands over the barrel*

The little spigot thing makes pouring it into your flagon quite easy. *hic*


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> The little spigot thing makes pouring it into your flagon quite easy. *hic*


Truly, we live in wond'rous times, indeed. Better living through technology!


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

George Berger said:


> Truly, we live in wond'rous times, indeed. Better living through technology!


Come to the dark side. Not only are we trying to sell books  do we enjoy the fruits of dark magic, we also enjoy the wine. On tap.


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## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

George Berger said:


> Truly, we live in wond'rous times, indeed. Better living through technology!


I'm sorry -- did you call for more beer, sire?


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Finished the second week of April unscathed. BBoS still in tact. Book one is ranked #527,728 and book two is ranked #739,415.

Beautiful.


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## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Mr. RAD said:


> Finished the second week of April unscathed. BBoS still in tact. Book one is ranked #527,728 and book two is ranked #739,415.
> 
> Beautiful.


Well, I haven't quite reached your lofty heights, but one of mine finally hit beyond #600,000 for the first time, ever. I feel a warm, fuzzy glow. Oh wait, it might be vertigo.


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## SummerGrey (Apr 24, 2011)

Oooh ooooh, can I join?

As of now, my story has been purchased a grand total of......0. 

Do I win a prize?


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

For the information of the Beige Bar faithful, my just-completed blog post on this noble thread may be found here.

*Iseult the Sheep*: You will find that, to illustrate my post, I have made unauthorised use of your rather splendid postage stamp of 10th February (Reply #543). In view of the forgiveness you have received for your several indiscretions, Sheep, _you will raise no objection_. Baa?


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> For the information of the Beige Bar faithful, my just-completed blog post on this noble thread may be found here.
> 
> *Iseult the Sheep*: You will find that, to illustrate my post, I have made unauthorised use of your rather splendid postage stamp of 10th February (Reply #543). In view of the forgiveness you have received for your several indiscretions, Sheep, _you will raise no objection_. Baa?


*stomps her pretty little foot on the floor and flounces off*


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## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> *stomps her pretty little foot on the floor and flounces off*


Yes, sister, I know, I know. Your stamp was beautiful, too. Possibly even more beautiful than the Sheep's. But with your command of the dark arts, how was I to know what might happen if I risked saving it to my own computer? Even a king must exercise caution.


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Aw, my lovely ranking in the 860 000s for _The Spiked Death_ has been ruined by a sale. I'm now down to 134 000 once again and will have to wait for a couple of months to regain my previous rating. Provided it doesn't sell again, of course.


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

...baa.


----------



## medicalhumor (Feb 15, 2011)

Over 13,000 sold since March, 2011

Paying the bills! How sweet is that?

Thank you Amazon!

Mike Cyra


----------



## ChrisVC (Mar 25, 2012)

medicalhumor said:


> Over 13,000 sold since March, 2011
> 
> Paying the bills! How sweet is that?
> 
> ...


That's awesome, but you clearly don't understand....

Oh, never mind .


----------



## BrianKittrell (Jan 8, 2011)

George Berger said:


> Is it nobler to languish for eternity with no sales rank whatsoever, or climb, sisyphean, the ladder of success with an ever-increasing sales rank? Hmm...


The best possibility is to have a sale which generates a sales rank, then have it returned so that you can begin that blessed ascension. Second to that, only the beige bar of glory represents true success.


----------



## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

medicalhumor said:


> Over 13,000 sold since March, 2011
> 
> Paying the bills! How sweet is that?
> 
> ...


Aarggh! Another one that can't read. I thought Betsy's intervention would have put paid to them by now. Maybe it's true that Americans don't 'get' irony - with the obvious exception of the sainted George the Berger, of course. That man has irony in his veins, whereas I have only red wine. Morgan, pass me that barrel and turn on the spigot.

Lynda/Guinevere - who now has a grand total of 37 Smashwords' sample downloads without a single sale.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> Aarggh! Another one that can't read. I thought Betsy's intervention would have put paid to them by now. Maybe it's true that Americans don't 'get' irony - with the obvious exception of the sainted George the Berger, of course. That man has irony in his veins, whereas I have only red wine. Morgan, pass me that barrel and turn on the spigot.
> 
> Lynda/Guinevere - who now has a grand total of 37 Smashwords' sample downloads without a single sale.


I too feared the addition would kill the thread. apparently not. Here, milady, a new drink that's been brought forth from France. It's called 'port'. Apparently, you should water it down first. Don't think that will catch on....

*hands over barrel of aged port* *also hands over cask of Irn Bru for hangover in the morning, purposes*

And it does seem to be proving excellent proof, that the only way to write a book that sells, is to be utterly unable to read!


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

SummerGrey said:


> Oooh ooooh, can I join?
> 
> As of now, my story has been purchased a grand total of......0.
> 
> Do I win a prize?


One of us!!


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

medicalhumor said:


> Over 13,000 sold since March, 2011
> 
> Paying the bills! How sweet is that?
> 
> ...


Baa! BAAAAA!


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Ben White said:


> Baa! BAAAAA!


Even the SHEEP is ashamed.


----------



## ASparrow (Oct 12, 2009)

ASparrow said:


> On Wednesday, my latest novel (priced at $0.99) will have achieved a total of zero sales in the first 2 months of release (title and link omitted to prevent sabotage!). It is currently un-ranked (I assume a book has to have at least one sale to attain a ranking?). Who can beat that for success?
> 
> And not only that, I am currently happily and frantically (adverbly) working on the sequel to be released this summer. My goal is to have the sequel out before anyone buys a copy of the first book. How's that for futility?


FAIL!!!

2 copies sold this week. I've zoomed up the charts to #284,000. But what are the odds that Customer A or Customer B would buy the sequel?


----------



## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

> There is no end to it. Kathelm (Reply #81 tells us that "A book club on Goodreads is reading one of my novels this month."


I am pleased to say that events have been, while disdainful, less catastrophic than I had feared. There have indeed been sales and discussion, but both have been minimal. I except that this single month of debauchery shall prove itself an abberation, but I remain penitent nonetheless.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

I am incredibly worried. I've sold 17 copies this month. With another weekend to go.... I could break twenty. And I think at twenty, the shame would get me where I stand.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Behold, my unspeakable genius!

Not being one to merely sit back and passively let success come to me, I am now undertaking, with some reluctance, a grand and inspirational effort to grasp the goat by the horns and _actively_ pursue success.

How, you ask?

A week ago I published a novelette (current sales rank: 307,000) in a not-very-popular genre that doesn't have its own category on Amazon, adorned with a nearly-relevant $5 cover and presented with a blurb that was written by a committee. The success, as you can see, has been modest, but still respectable.

I have now undertaken to (probably) write _a direct sequel_ featuring an extremely minor character from the first book, and written _in an entirely different genre_ and style. I don't have a cover yet, but it'll probably be on par with the first one, in every way, though I doubt I could ever equal the original's blurb.

I anticipate the success of this plan to be truly immeasurable.


----------



## Jill James (May 8, 2011)

Can I hang out here if my Amazon UK BBOS seems determined to remain for the whole month? I sincerely hope so.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Another week down, and my Royal Flush is still present. One book above 570,000 and the other at about 790,000.


----------



## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> Another week down, and my Royal Flush is still present. One book above 570,000 and the other at about 790,000.


Well done, sir! Keep up the good work. Sad to report I have now lost both my US and UK BBOS and ashamed that the single UK sale has shot me 183,054 places up the rankings to the giddy heights of . . . 2,917. Eek! I promise this won't happen again and, with your shining example in front of me, I'm sure I'll do better.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Lyndawrites said:


> Well done, sir! Keep up the good work. Sad to report I have now lost both my US and UK BBOS and ashamed that the single UK sale has shot me 183,054 places up the rankings to the giddy heights of . . . 2,917. Eek! I promise this won't happen again and, with your shining example in front of me, I'm sure I'll do better.


*cackle* Ehm, sorry. How appalling sister. *Hands over the barrel*


----------



## jasonzc (Dec 23, 2011)

You'll all be pleased to know my sales have tanked. Stopped completely. And now I can't even give my books away.

If this keeps up, I shall be forced to get back to writing. Radar Love is free today, for what that's worth.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

My book just passed 800,000 in its ranking! A new milestone for me!


----------



## Guest (Apr 23, 2012)

My Online Store which was launched only two weeks ago had more income than what I had on Amazon in the last three months. Eat this you stat rigging, book hiding, algorithm manipulator bastards.


----------



## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Oh gods! Another one! Aarrggh.


----------



## Guest (Apr 23, 2012)

Lyndawrites said:


> Oh gods! Another one! Aarrggh.


 No, actually it means I'm one of you, because I have no sales via Amazon at all. But here is my new US milestone for one of my books; #695,891. The other one closely follows; #690,280. The third is #349,696. #4, 5 and 6 is in the virgin zone, had no sales at all (At least on Amazon, where I have the worst sales.).


----------



## joeyjoejoejr (Apr 19, 2012)

I've made 35 cents so far.  I'm not sure whether to splurge on something for myself or invest it.


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

_Letters from the Dark Side_ has crossed the 900000 mark today. Now it's only a matter of time before I hit one million.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

CoraBuhlert said:


> _Letters from the Dark Side_ has crossed the 900000 mark today. Now it's only a matter of time before I hit one million.


Just when I thought my achievement was worthy of mention, you come and knock me off my blissful cloud.

Congrats.


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

CoraBuhlert said:


> _Letters from the Dark Side_ has crossed the 900000 mark today. Now it's only a matter of time before I hit one million.


Oh, I feel like a sloth now. I was so proud that _The Opposite of Dark _ made it to 665,000 yesterday, which is a record for me. I haven't checked today. Somehow, I don't feel inspired now.


----------



## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

I am looking forward to the population growing, more people buying ereaders, monkeys learning how to read. That way, more readers will choose to ignore my fantastic and breath-taking literary output. Does anyone else share my dream?


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Jackson, I dream of a day in which I will have spent $75 to self-publish the absolutely finest, most deeply moving, most wonderfully touching $2.99 Serious Literature novelette about a goat the world has ever known. Not just that, but the day I publish that novelette - in a completely different genre and under a different author's name than the book to which it is a sequel - to the overwhelming, awe-inspiring, and completely breathtaking indifference of everyone on this planet with an ereader.

I believe it can happen. I believe that some dreams really can come true. You've just got to have faith, and patience.

Faith and patience, Jackson. Faith and patience.

Though I guess hard liquor might help, too.

But, mostly, faith and patience.


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

JacksonJones said:


> I am looking forward to the population growing, more people buying ereaders, monkeys learning how to read. That way, more readers will choose to ignore my fantastic and breath-taking literary output? Does anyone else share my dream?


We are with you, comrade!


----------



## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

You are both fine examples of human beings. I would be honored to suffer through a major catastrophe with people such as you, whether it be the Spanish Inquisition or the Titanic.

I have a dream that I will one day live in a nation where my stories will not be judged by the design of their covers or their content. Simply, they will not be judged at all, due to humanity averting their eyes and passing by without one-clicking.

I have a dream...


----------



## Guest (Apr 24, 2012)

Ha-hah! Two books of mine are approaching the 700,000 barrier. Let's aim for one million at Amazon. More the merrier.  Oh, and my flagship is following the heroine's name traveled distance aboard MSL Curiosity (Without the "million" of course). Around 370k. What a lovely coincidence.


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

I've sold 21 copies this month. I have no idea how I did it. (Which is really just the fudge on my sundae....)

I am unceremoniously kicking myself out the door.

I might be back.

But for now you'll have to to struggle along without your Patsy.


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Deeply disappointing, EStoops. But as is tradition, you can still come to the parties.


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

After not selling at all in the three months since I published it, my steady non-seller _The Apocalypse Protocol_ finally sold a copy today, which should take it out of the land of the unranked. Now it will probably need another three months to return to the eight or nine hundred thousand something zone.


----------



## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

But you were doing so well!


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2012)

Ha-hah! I sold another one via Smashwords. The best is, with the present $8.88 price the income is like if I would sell around 21 units of a $0.99 book via Amazon. Lovely. 

In the meantime one of my books has reached #701,102 and the other is approaching the 700k barrier as well, #690,860. And the third, the expensive one, dum-dee-dum-dee-dum... she is approaching 400k, #387,518.


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

I have of late neglected my kingly duties here at the Beige Bar. For this and for the fact that I have time presently for only a few comments, I crave the indulgence of my noble knights.

*CoraBuhlert*: That a newly-dubbed knight should achieve a ranking of 900,000 is extraordinary. You should be very proud. But the recent setback was, sadly, to be expected. We have seen brave men weep here when the fruits of months of endeavour have been crushed in an instant under the heel of some brutal rogue buyer. Keep the faith, Cora, keep the faith.

*Lyndawrites*: A ranking of _below 3,000_ has never been heard of at the Beige Bar. I'm ashamed to acknowledge you as queen, but I'm not sure that divorce is possible. Can anyone advise me?

*Morgan Gallagher*: You drink too much, sister... or possibly not enough. I have a taste for port, which I find goes well with insomnia.

*ASparrow*: I feel for you, Arc, I really do. Yours was a noble aim... but then, so was mine that night in 1968 (I'm unimaginably old) when the lights went out. The stain on the floor the following morning was witness to the fact that good intentions are not enough.

*EStoops*: This is a sad day. Your place at the Beige Bar will be hard to fill. I speak, I feel sure, for us all, when I say that I deeply hope that you will some day find it in you to return.

*joeyjoejoejr*: Thirty-five cents is a lot of money, Marcus. I'd seek independent financial advice if I were you.

*Guardian*: Yes, Istvan and Orlanda, the 1,000,000 Kindle book ranking at Amazon.com is known here as the Holy Grail... Could it be you? Could it?

*JacksonJones*


JacksonJones said:


> I have a dream that I will one day live in a nation where my stories will not be judged by the design of their covers or their content. Simply, they will not be judged at all, due to humanity averting their eyes and passing by without one-clicking.
> 
> I have a dream...


And I have a lump in my throat.

*George Berger*


George Berger said:


> A week ago I published a novelette (current sales rank: 307,000) in a not-very-popular genre that doesn't have its own category on Amazon, adorned with a nearly-relevant $5 cover and presented with a blurb that was written by a committee. The success, as you can see, has been modest, but still respectable.
> 
> I have now undertaken to (probably) write _a direct sequel_ featuring an extremely minor character from the first book, and written _in an entirely different genre_ and style. I don't have a cover yet, but it'll probably be on par with the first one, in every way, though I doubt I could ever equal the original's blurb.
> 
> I anticipate the success of this plan to be truly immeasurable.


Let all Knights of the Beige Bar bow down before such nobility of character. Was ever knight so errant?

*Betsy the Quilter*: Please, B the Q, could we have our old title back? I understand why you changed it (to do with the merging'n'all), but we used to have so much fun with the trolls that came here to boast of their huge sales, and now you've warned them off. Admittedly, one has lumbered into the trap even since your warning went up, but that's nowhere near enough. And then it's just that... well, you see, irony looks a bit stupid when it stands up and waves its arms and shouts "Look at me, I'm ironic!"

So do you think you might possibly take your tongue out from between our cheeks? Please?


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Oh, *that's* whose tongue that is. I was wondering...


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2012)

Iain Manson said:


> *Guardian*: Yes, Istvan and Orlanda, the 1,000,000 Kindle book ranking at Amazon.com is known here as the Holy Grail... Could it be you? Could it?


I truly hope so.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> *Lyndawrites*: A ranking of _below 3,000_ has never been heard of at the Beige Bar. I'm ashamed to acknowledge you as queen, but I'm not sure that divorce is possible. Can anyone advise me?


Why don't you discuss it with yon Good Knight and Best Friends of Yorn, Lancelot. I'm sure he'll be full of advice on the future of your good wife. 

Just trying to be helpful, as always. *curtsies, but attempts to keep her eyes in place. That floor looks a bit grubby.*


----------



## jasonzc (Dec 23, 2011)

In Firefox, go to Preferences/Content
Uncheck "Allow page to use its own color choices".

You've now basically disabled your browser from Facebook (bonus!), and no more beige bar. Since Amazon has yet to hear my petition to let the color be user-selectable.


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> Why don't you discuss it with yon Good Knight and Best Friends of Yorn, Lancelot. I'm sure he'll be full of advice on the future of your good wife.
> 
> Just trying to be helpful, as always. *curtsies, but attempts to keep her eyes in place. That floor looks a bit grubby.*


You're sailing awfully close to the wind, sister.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Iain Manson said:


> You're sailing awfully close to the wind, sister.


You bought a new boat? *happyclap*


----------



## Millard (Jun 13, 2011)

Oh, I totally belong here now. Zero US sales all month. Also, I'm on the first day of a three day freebie with a huge 41 downloads.

KNEEL BEFORE MILLARD.


----------



## jasonzc (Dec 23, 2011)

Found this on a good friend of mine's page:
#1,996,932 in Books...

I give up on advertising and promoting. The more I try, the less I sell.


----------



## MT Berlyn (Mar 27, 2012)

jasonzc said:


> I give up on advertising and promoting. The more I try, the less I sell.


I am very close to making this same decision, at least with the current book. Very close. The only thing to do is write on...into the sunset.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Another week down and my Royal Flush _still_ exists. Just two more days and I'll have my second flush this year. Also, my latest book is currently ranked over #830,000; my other book just passed #600,000.

Once again, the glory is mine.


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

CoraBuhlert said:


> After not selling at all in the three months since I published it, my steady non-seller _The Apocalypse Protocol_ finally sold a copy today, which should take it out of the land of the unranked. Now it will probably need another three months to return to the eight or nine hundred thousand something zone.


My latest as been out since early March and it's yet to sell a copy, which means no ranking either. Based on your experience, I have another 6 or 7 weeks to experience signs of life. Waiting patiently in dormant mode is kind of interesting. I feel like a barnacle on a rock, watching the world go by in waves of numbers.


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Debra Purdy Kong said:


> My latest as been out since early March and it's yet to sell a copy, which means no ranking either. Based on your experience, I have another 6 or 7 weeks to experience signs of life. Waiting patiently in dormant mode is kind of interesting. I feel like a barnacle on a rock, watching the world go by in waves of numbers.


Ah, that's nothing. I have one story that has never sold a single copy anywhere since last July. I even changed the cover and the title, but people are still refusing to buy.

Meanwhile, my beautiful rating in the 880000s for _Flying Bombs_ has been sabotaged and the book has now dropped to 97000 something.


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

CoraBuhlert said:


> Ah, that's nothing. I have one story that has never sold a single copy anywhere since last July. I even changed the cover and the title, but people are still refusing to buy.
> 
> Meanwhile, my beautiful rating in the 880000s for _Flying Bombs_ has been sabotaged and the book has now dropped to 97000 something.


Oh no! That's a huge slide backwards. Well, you'll just have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. Wait, wasn't that a song? I'm dating myself. As far as your short story goes, well there's hope for me yet. I should post some of mine and keep you company.

Debra


----------



## Septemberlynngray (Dec 25, 2011)

I'm so glad someone said this out loud. Those who sell ten of thousands-well-has anyone ever tried to verify this. I've run into a lot of authors who act as though they are a huge success, but when I check out the link to their book they have 2-5 reviews. All those thousands of people and only 2 bothered to review? Sounds fishy to me.


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

Septemberlynngray said:


> I'm so glad someone said this out loud. Those who sell ten of thousands-well-has anyone ever tried to verify this. I've run into a lot of authors who act as though they are a huge success, but when I check out the link to their book they have 2-5 reviews. All those thousands of people and only 2 bothered to review? Sounds fishy to me.


I wrote a blog about this a few weeks back and, based on my anecdotal research, Kindle owners (especially the new owners) download lots of free and lower priced books, but don't actually get around to reading them all for awhile, if ever. I'm convinced that a percentage of those books aren't finished, or are returned, or deleted. If a Kindle owner downloads 200 books, he might sample most of them, but actually reading them cover to cover is another thing, never mind taking the time to write a review. One author estimated that for every 2,000 sales he makes, he'll get maybe one review.

Another thing, I've heard that some authors (just a small number) are downloading their own books and counting them as sales and then boasting about said sales. Yikes!


----------



## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

Two new good reviews this month haven't threatened my qualifications for this thread. I'm not doing quite as well as some of you; I sold one copy of most of my titles and three of my horror novel. I recovered a little by having one copy returned. Then I almost disqualified myself by having a UK sale, my first in over six months. So I still think I belong here but I must strive to do better.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

"The Post" has been updated.

April is over. Guess what?

*Royal Flush*​
My eighth overall. Sixteen months self-publishing and half that time has been all royalty.

The glory is mine.


----------



## lorelei (Feb 25, 2012)

Quit boasting, Mr Rad, or we'll buy your books out of spite.


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

R. M. Reed said:


> Two new good reviews this month haven't threatened my qualifications for this thread. I'm not doing quite as well as some of you; I sold one copy of most of my titles and three of my horror novel. I recovered a little by having one copy returned. Then I almost disqualified myself by having a UK sale, my first in over six months. So I still think I belong here but I must strive to do better.


I can relate to your review situation. I've had 3 terrific reviews on amazon and an amazing review in Canada's premiere book trade magazine Quill & Quire for my latest mystery, and still haven't sold a copy to quality for a ranking. I look at it as my destiny to stay with you all for some time to come


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

I've started the month with a sale in the UK!

...which was promptly returned. Phew.

Almost had a heart attack, there.


----------



## Debra Purdy Kong (Apr 1, 2009)

George Berger said:


> I've started the month with a sale in the UK!
> 
> ...which was promptly returned. Phew.
> 
> Almost had a heart attack, there.


LOL


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*The Holy Grail*

Last night, I had a vision. I believe it to be of the Holy Grail itself, and to indicate that our long quest is near to its conclusion.










One of our number will be chosen.

_Who will it be?_​


----------



## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

I'd offer to sponsor the prize, but I'd have to sell another book to be able to afford it.  That just wouldn't do.


----------



## lea_owens (Dec 5, 2011)

I was drinking cheap wine quietly in the corner of the Beige Bar, but my KDP 'free' promotion for Horses Of The Sun these last few days actually worked a bit and I've sold enough of the other books to buy a nice bottle of white that lacks overtones of vinegar plus, if I'm careful, a bag of chips, so Ill drink outside on the patio for a day or two as I gaze down at the celebration of truly successful authors dancing in the streets. I haven't earned enough to buy more than the one bottle, so I'll be back in my corner shortly as sales figures approach a much more acceptable six figure ranking.

I am dreaming of ways to get that million ranking, though... maybe write a book that does *not* contain vampires, werewolves, zombies, end of world scenarios or religious characters who refuse to have sex before marriage and frequently quote the Bible (that Christian fiction seems to do so well, and I wouldn't want that), fill it with spelling mistakes and format errors, set the price at 99c and buy a copy and get a few friends to get copies so I have a ranking around 100,000 and then we all do one star reviews and bag the cr*p out of it... then bump the price up to $9.99 and wait. How long do you think I'd have to wait, assuming no one else is stoopid enough to buy it, before it would hit that million dollar Holy Grail?


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

My "one sale and that was that" book is currently at #916,863 Paid in the Kindle Store.

So we're getting to one million, but slowly.


----------



## Guest (May 2, 2012)

CoraBuhlert said:


> So we're getting to one million, but slowly.


Detto. Two short stories of mine has passed 700k (#702,980 and #728,546). However my flagship book got a boost yesterday as that one got another sale on the first day of May, so as always that's out of the "Reach the million" game. As #4-6 had no sales on Amazon, those ones are not participating in this competition.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Sire, sire, I bring news!

*pretty but deadly Morgan runs prettily into the grand stone hall, and drops a pretty curtsy, her eyes on the floor*

*picks up eyes*

I have sire, perfected some dark magic good luck potions, and concoted a new potion that alloows you to sell a book and keep your rating the same!

Or, to be honest, my indie publisher is now selling ebooks on her site, and today I sold a book, but my ratings didn't move one jot!

*happyclap*

Dark MagicGood Luck is now perfected!

Sell books, avoid Amazon ratings increase! http://www.osierpublishing.co.uk/morgan-gallagher/changeling/

The million may one day be mine!


----------



## EStoops (Oct 24, 2011)

Your favorite welshie is returned! My ratings are up, up, up. And my sales are down, down, down!


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

EStoops said:


> Your favorite welshie is returned! My ratings are up, up, up. And my sales are down, down, down!


Thank god! I thought I'd killed the thread!


----------



## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> I thought I'd killed the thread!


You did. Now it's the un-dead thread.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

vrabinec said:


> You did. Now it's the un-dead thread.


Zombies too? The king is gonna kill me... gotta find shed loads more alcohol....


----------



## SarahBarnard (Jul 28, 2010)

King? King? 
Morgan you bad witch.... tis Queen, you numpty..... Queen I tell ya! Go straight to the dungeons.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

SarahBarnard said:


> King? King?
> Morgan you bad witch.... tis Queen, you numpty..... Queen I tell ya! Go straight to the dungeons.


Oh dear, the King ain't gonna like that! I'll go hide in the woods, there's some nice mushrooms out there, that I put this nice red wine with, to make a hearty mushroom brew. Hopefully, by the time I'm flying high on my broomstick I've digested it, the king will have forgotten all about me!


----------



## portiadacosta (Feb 28, 2011)

George Berger said:


> I've started the month with a sale in the UK!
> 
> ...which was promptly returned. Phew.
> 
> Almost had a heart attack, there.


Wow, that was a close thing!

I was just glancing a couple of threads about Select and algorithms and thinking how peaceful it is here amongst the successful authors. Amazon can do what they like, Select or no Select, algorithm tweaks or otherwise, it still makes not one whit of difference to my tranquil state of barely any sales to speak of.

Something to be thankful for...


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Three sales in April destroyed my beautiful rating in the 860000s for _The Spiked Death_ for good. It even shot up to 83000 at one point.

Success is so hard to maintain at times. Though May still gives me a BBOS across the board.


----------



## SarahBarnard (Jul 28, 2010)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> Oh dear, the King ain't gonna like that!


The king will do as he's told.... he's a very naughty boy....


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Success continues to elude me. Not only is my May BBOS gone, my first sale of the month was also for one of my steady non-sellers. The steadiest of my non-sellers in fact, which hadn't sold at all since I published it ten months ago. Now I only have one steady non-seller left.

On the positive side, this is another book ready to commence the long slide towards that elusive 1 million rank.


----------



## R. Garcia (Apr 9, 2011)

I published my book The Sun Zebra in November of 2011 and in the next 4 plus months I sold 27 copies. Then I did a free promotion on Amazon in April for 3 days and in the 3 following weeks I sold 170 copies with 46 borrows. Not much but I recuperated my marketing costs and will be able to have dinner at a decent restaurant!  : ^ )


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

R. Garcia said:


> I published my book The Sun Zebra in November of 2011 and in the next 4 plus months I sold 27 copies. Then I did a free promotion on Amazon in April for 3 days and in the 3 following weeks I sold 170 copies with 46 borrows. Not much but I recuperated my marketing costs and will be able to have dinner at a decent restaurant! : ^ )


Fail.


----------



## portiadacosta (Feb 28, 2011)

Well, I thought I was doing great and achieving the Holy Grail ie. sales slowed to an absolute standstill, zero, nothing, nada... but like an idiot, I sent a copy of one of my books to a reviewer and she liked it. Her glowing review resulted in five sales, and one of those even in Germany!

How could I have been so stupid?


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Well, your Black Lace books used to be available in German bookstores on occasion, so maybe you picked up a fan from way back when.


----------



## SarahBarnard (Jul 28, 2010)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> Sire, sire, I bring news!
> 
> I have sire, perfected some dark magic good luck potions, and concoted a new potion that alloows you to sell a book and keep your rating the same!
> 
> ...


And look at the new book.... Sales, money in the bank and NO Amazon sales rank AT ALL!!!


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

SarahBarnard said:


> And look at the new book.... Sales, money in the bank and NO Amazon sales rank AT ALL!!!


If this keeps up, I'll be able to go to Starbucks and buy two people a coffee!


----------



## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

My sales went up 100% today!!!

That is, they went from 1 to 2.


----------



## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

I'd like you all to know that my disease has been successfully treated. The drooling issue is a lot better. As of last Thursday, the amputation, the brain transplant, and the electro-shock therapy all came together pretty serendipitously and...oh, wait. Wrong forum. Never mind.

I don't post my numbers to boast. I'm not a boastful kind of guy. My grandma used to say, "Jackson, you see all those people who boast about their high-paying jobs, their fast cars, and their houses in Maui? Well, they have those things and you don't. That's why you should never boast." She was a wise old woman. Even after all these years, we still miss her, the tickle of her wispy mustache, and that secret moonshine recipe she took to the grave, clutched in her gnarled old hands.

Back to my numbers. This should encourage those of you who have accidentally inflicted one of your books on some poor, unsuspecting member of the reading public. You are capable of not selling. Hang onto that thought. Believe it.

Revenge of the Demented Thespians is at #720,968.
Night of the Thanksgiving Terror is at #723,140.
Attack of the Crazed Environmentalists is at #800,424!!


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Surely someone must have some success to report?

Success has just barely been eluding me on Amazon, alas, but I was quite heartened when someone emailed me saying that one of my books - a $1.44 title - looked interesting, _but not interesting enough to actually pay for_, and did I want to trade for a free copy of one of their titles?

Also, from the narrowly-avoided-failure department, I had a huge panic attack when an _extremely_ popular and well-respected author emailed me last week saying they'd read one of my books and loved it. I was like, oh God, they're going to tweet about it or post about it on Facebook or leave a review or something, and their tens of thousands of fans are going to see it, and I'll be doomed!

Nah, didn't happen. They haven't said a word. Failure averted!


----------



## Guest (May 23, 2012)

Well, as always Amazon is a demonic curse for my poor books;
#518,837, #727,533, #774,963. None of them were this deep before, not even my former best seller. I just want to know how is it possible that these books sell elsewhere? But on Amazon? Nix, nada, nothing. And the best is, book #4 which had 100+ downloads on Smashwords, it has zero sales on Amazon, so as its two sequels, #5 and #6. Conspiracies, conspiracies everywhere. Tsk-tsk-tsk.


----------



## Hilary Thomson (Nov 20, 2011)

Go blame everything on the Fifty Shades series for being such a massive wallet/brain/time suck.


----------



## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

I'm starting to get a little worried.  I just released a novella with a direct, genre apparent genre that shares a universe with a short story I put out for free last year.  It's showing signs of becoming a failure--it's not there yet, but my other books are significantly more successful.  Are my days in this thread numbered, or will Fate restore the balance?


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

My steady quest for the holy grail of the one million rank continues. _Letters from the Dark Side_ is at #967,455 now.

Success is spotty on my other books and buyers keep ruining my wonderful rankings, but at least this one holds steady.


----------



## Guest (Jun 3, 2012)

CoraBuhlert said:


> My steady quest for the holy grail of the one million rank continues. _Letters from the Dark Side_ is at #967,455 now.
> 
> Success is spotty on my other books and buyers keep ruining my wonderful rankings, but at least this one holds steady.


I'm following you. My ones also has a pretty ranking, special thanks to Amazon's hide the book from the customers policy;
1, #578,420
2, #738,397
3, #789,168

And unfortunately someone has ruined the virginity of #4 and 5 as they entered into the list with 1-1 sale.
#367,110 & #366,942.

Only #6 kept her virginity with zero sales. However I find it strange that the reader have bought #4 and #5 on the very same day, which is Episode #1 and #2, but didn't bought #6, which is Episode #3.


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

I have two non-sellers as well. One has only been out a month, but the second has been out since December and still hasn't found a single customer.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Kathelm said:


> Are my days in this thread numbered, or will Fate restore the balance?


Fate can be fickle, but that's just nature's way of telling you to stop worrying and write an even more success-worthy book.

Consider my latest release. After being exposed to the collective wisdom here for almost a year, I did everything I possibly could to make it an overwhelming success. I:

Wrote a beautiful, highly original book that is truly without equal;
Hired a professional to design the cover;
Consulted with numerous experts on the wording of the blurb;
Priced it high enough to convey ideas of Quality and Value and Worth;
and sent review copies to a number of other authors I highly respect.

Seventeen days after release, it's riding a wave of success: one sale in the UK (rank 186K) and none anywhere else.

You've just got to have faith in yourself.


----------



## JoeCron (Jun 10, 2012)

I've never seen this thread before today, but I've read a number of the posts (not all - 40 pages!), and am intrigued by this concept of the Holy Grail of a ranking of 1,000,000.

Child's play.  My novel, Eve of Demons, is at #3,568,126.

::sigh:: You people have a long, long way to go.  But keep the faith - we all need something to aspire to!


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

JoeCron said:


> I've never seen this thread before today, but I've read a number of the posts (not all - 40 pages!), and am intrigued by this concept of the Holy Grail of a ranking of 1,000,000.
> 
> Child's play. My novel, Eve of Demons, is at #3,568,126.
> 
> ::sigh:: You people have a long, long way to go. But keep the faith - we all need something to aspire to!


For the paperback, sure. Your Kindle edition is a mere 650,996, though.

One of my paperbacks is #5,087,762, and the other is #4,693,948. You still lose.


----------



## JonDavis1 (Apr 11, 2012)

Well, I'm not sure really.
Since I put the book up online in late March I've more or less sold what amounts to 1 a day.
Esentially 70 some books so far.
Hopefully that will pick up. 
But to me, yay! I'm a success!
(Now for the next book and that novel I've always wanted to write  ).


----------



## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

A Poem in Honor of Mr. Rad titled "Despite His Absence, He Will Always Inspire Me in Tymes of Darke Despaire and Nuclear Armageddon"

He is gone, that Mr. Rad;
he is gone and we are sad.
We are sad like buffalo
roaming plains long ago.
Long ago there was a man;
he was not from Uzbekistan.
His name was rad--it really was--
like a bee who cannot buzz.


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

_Letters from the Dark Side_ is now #974,120 in the Kindle store. Progress is slow but steady and the holy grail of the one million rank is almost in reach.


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

I just checked one of my paperbacks, and it's ranked over 8,000,000.

I couldn't be prouder.

(Baa.)


----------



## JoeCron (Jun 10, 2012)

George Berger said:


> For the paperback, sure. Your Kindle edition is a mere 650,996, though.
> 
> One of my paperbacks is #5,087,762, and the other is #4,693,948. You still lose.


Ah, so I do. Got ahead of myself, what with the two Kindle copies I sold eleven months ago. Need to be checking my stats better, if I'm going to sell something within each calendar year. Otherwise, it can get away from me. Thanks for the clarification!


----------



## jasonzc (Dec 23, 2011)

I found a solution. Release a book of poetry. One sale, and I bought it myself.

http://www.amazon.com/Poetry-A-Love-Story-ebook/dp/B0087JE8G8/


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## MGalloway (Jun 21, 2011)

I just want to say, for all those who are dismayed by George's recent debacle, there is still hope. At mid-month, I'm holding steady at two books sold. Oddly enough, I've seen one of my BBOSs disappear...in a foreign country!


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Success continues to slip from my grasp, for even though my UK sales all but disappeared this month, I suddenly broke into the Spanish market. And you'd figure that after trouncing Ireland 4:0 they'd be too busy partying to read.


----------



## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

I must be successful, I just lost the brown bar of shame with one sale. It's only the, uh, 18th of the month. Whoo-hoo!


----------



## Tessa Apa (Apr 8, 2011)

I am still smiling after reading these posts. I feel so much better. My book is still free for another day  - it would be foolish to think i will get anywhere near the free downloads....but still,,,, one can live in hope!!


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## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

Hrm.  I'm worried.  My sales this month have reached the double-digits.  Something's gone horribly wrong, but I ask you to kindly give me another month before bringing out the torches and pitchforks.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

This is post 1000!


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> This is post 1000!


I must respectfully disagree.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

George Berger said:


> I must respectfully disagree.


How did you do that!!!! It was at 999 and I posted. Did you delete on of your own?


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> How did you do that!!!! It was at 999 and I posted. Did you delete on of your own?


Maybe.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

George Berger said:


> Maybe.


AAARGGHH!!!! Well, I siree, will not stoop so low as to now go and delete two of mine!

Where is the king when you need him? All telling me off for the dark acts etc, but where is he when my honour is being abused thus!


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> AAARGGHH!!!! Well, I siree, will not stoop so low as to now go and delete two of mine!


It'd be hilarious if you did, though, because by deleting _two_, you'd wind back up at 999 and 1001.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

George Berger said:


> It'd be hilarious if you did, though, because by deleting _two_, you'd wind back up at 999 and 1001.


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Success continues to elude me, as the Italians have followed the bad example set by the Spanish and actually bought one of my books.

But at least, _Letters from the Dark Side_ continues its march towards the Holy Grail. It's at rank 985000 now.


----------



## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

It's been a long time since I've updated you all on my lack of progress. In fact, this entire thread has fallen strangely silent, perhaps cowed by the recent misfortunes of once-alum Señor Georges Berger.

I realize some of you have been waiting anxiously on my news, and with baited breath too. What does that expression even mean? Does it mean you put a small morsel of food in your mouth in hopes that the tantalizing smell will then attract a small animal who will then venture into your mouth so that you can swiftly chomp down it it? Strange. And, while perhaps a tasty practice, revolting.

Your wait is over.

I'm sad to report that some lunatic has recently purchased my work of colossal ineptitude, Night of the Thanksgiving Turkey Terror, which means the ranking suddenly galloped to  #110,598! I suspect the buyer (soon to be disappointed with my lack of knowledge of the English language, as well as the tortured convolutions of my "story") is someone harboring evil intent toward me. Perhaps they will follow up their dastardly deed with either sending me an anthrax-laced letter or a copy of Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits, Vol. VII?

In other happier news, my thespian opus, Revenge of the Demented Thespians rests securely at #698,992, while Attack of the Crazed Environmentalists is sitting precariously at #427,167.

I encourage you all in your half-hearted pursuit of mediocrity.

Sincerely,
Your inbred cousin,
Jackson Jones


----------



## anne_holly (Jun 5, 2011)

I would post, but I wouldn't want to seem like I'm bragging.


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## That one girl (Apr 12, 2011)

JacksonJones said:


> I realize some of you have been waiting anxiously on my news, and with baited breath too. What does that expression even mean? .... I suspect the buyer (soon to be disappointed with my lack of knowledge of the English language...


The grammar Nazi in me couldn't resist. You've been bamboozled, dear sir. The expression is "bated breath". No bait involved.

As for my sales, I guess I should be happy that I no longer qualify to post in this thread, but seeing the lively conversation makes me a little sad about that. Just a little.


----------



## bnapier (Apr 26, 2010)

I'm still slightly confused as to the prerequisites to join this group....I suspect I belong, though...


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## Edward W. Robertson (May 18, 2010)

Forgive me, outcast that I am, for my intrusion.

But where is our king? Cora has done it. She has become legend:


#1,013,028 Paid in Kindle Store


----------



## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

T.S. Welti said:


> The grammar Nazi in me couldn't resist. You've been bamboozled, dear sir. The expression is "bated breath". No bait involved.
> 
> As for my sales, I guess I should be happy that I no longer qualify to post in this thread, but seeing the lively conversation makes me a little sad about that. Just a little.


Your sales sadden me, as I know you must be filled with sorrow to have taken hard-earned money from people who, no doubt, should've been spending it on food for starving orphans or Nigerian get-rich-quick schemes. On the other hand, my confusion about "bait" vs "bate" fills me with joy. Here is proof positive that I do not know English. That poor, misguided person who recently spent 99 cents on my "book" will certainly experience mediocrity now! How exciting.

Cora's rank of #1,013,028, however, is even more exciting. Well done, Cora!


----------



## That one girl (Apr 12, 2011)

JacksonJones said:


> Your sales sadden me, as I know you must be filled with sorrow to have taken hard-earned money from people who, no doubt, should've been spending it on food for starving orphans or Nigerian get-rich-quick schemes. On the other hand, my confusion about "bait" vs "bate" fills me with joy. Here is proof positive that I do not know English. That poor, misguided person who recently spent 99 cents on my "book" will certainly experience mediocrity now! How exciting.
> 
> Cora's rank of #1,013,028, however, is even more exciting. Well done, Cora!


I think I sent enough money to the Nigerian Prince to make up for the money misdirected to me from those confused readers who probably only landed on my book page while searching for Hugh Howey.


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Edward W. Robertson said:


> Forgive me, outcast that I am, for my intrusion.
> 
> But where is our king? Cora has done it. She has become legend:
> 
> #1,013,028 Paid in Kindle Store


Thanks for the hint, Edward. I forgot to check for a while, because with such grandiose sales, what is the point in checking?

Still, I am pleased to have hit the jackpot and won the holy grail, the plus one million ranking.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Bravo Cora - Absolutely Bravo! What are your plans with the grail?

And what shall be the next lofty goal for everyone to obtain? Double grail? 2 million? Is even a number possible? 

But amazing congratulations on your number.


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Thanks, Danielle.

I guess in order to go for the double grail, people have to upload more books first, since the Kindle store only has 1.2 millions books so far.

So what are you waiting for, people? Go write some more books.


----------



## JacksonJones (Feb 20, 2012)

CoraBuhlert said:


> I guess in order to go for the double grail, people have to upload more books first, since the Kindle store only has 1.2 millions books so far.
> 
> So what are you waiting for, people? Go write some more books.


Excellent, stirring advice. However, I think "write" is the wrong verb for our noble company. As an alternative, I would suggest the verbs "cough up," "hack out," or "expel."


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## MGalloway (Jun 21, 2011)

CoraBuhlert said:


> I guess in order to go for the double grail, people have to upload more books first, since the Kindle store only has 1.2 millions books so far.
> 
> So what are you waiting for, people? Go write some more books.


I'm on it. 

In the race to the depths, I have one book ranked at #726,384, another one at #779,629, and one at #663,411. I even have one book that has no ranking at all (although some freebies were given out months ago). 

To top it off, I'm currently prepping a collection of sci-fi short stories sure to sink like a block of concrete in the Amazon ocean of books.


----------



## Iain Manson (Apr 3, 2011)

*Our long quest is over*

Cora has found the Holy Grail. All praise and honour to Cora!








I, your king, ask you all to bow your heads - as I bow even mine - to the truest knight that ever lived.

As for me, I haven't been here for a while because... well, it's a bit embarrassing, but I'm er... dead... sort of.

Bleeding great war, you see, which ended... well, to use Alf Tennyson's words:

So all day long the noise of battle rolled
Among the mountains by the winter sea;
Until King Arthur's table, man by man,
Had fallen in Lyonnesse about their Lord,
King Arthur: then, because his wound was deep,
The bold Sir Bedivere uplifted him...​
Anyway, the long and the short of it is that I'm at a place called, I believe, Avalon, where I'm sort of dead, but not quite. Don't altogether understand it myself.

Sounds like you lot are all dead, too, so no change there, then...

But well done, Cora!!


----------



## pamstucky (Sep 16, 2011)

Well, the paperback version of one of my books is at #1,185,171 right now, but to be ranked over a million in the KINDLE listings is truly a feat worthy of commendation! LOL!

I just posted in another thread that I've read that the average self-published book sells 100 to 150 books, and the average book in the U.S. (traditional, I think) sells 500. Be proud of every sale! Believe!


----------



## TexasGirl (Dec 21, 2011)

Oh, how I have missed this thread!

I sadly am no longer in the running as I deleted my two low-performing books and the others are, most grievously, making me four figures a month.

But I will remain and grovel at all your worthy feet!


----------



## Lyndawrites (Aug 7, 2011)

Cora has The Grail? Aargh

_She left the web
She left the loom
She made three paces thru the room
...
The curse has come upon me, cried the Lady of Shalott_


----------



## KO (Jul 4, 2012)

This page of the thread is hilarious


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## Jason Blacker (May 20, 2011)

Fun and entertaining thread. I thought I'd revive it for shits and giggles.

My first book Dust on his Soul, has a rank of 2,373,838. I've managed to sell 24 in 14 months. But in all fairness to the original post I think it's getting easier nowadays to have these stellar results as more and more books come out


----------



## jasonzc (Dec 23, 2011)

You unproductive knaves. I've published two non-sellers since my poetry flop. I knew I shouldn't have bought a test copy...


----------



## bnapier (Apr 26, 2010)

Was never sure if less-than-mediocre sales gave me rights to post here.  But I think this month will allow it with my three sales. So howdy everyone...


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

I'm so disappointed in this one book of mine. Not because it's failing, but because its ranking simply refuses to rise.  It's been stuck at #635,000 for over a month now.  There haven't been any sales so why isn't it moving?  This kind of thing is just frustrating.  What can I do?  It's already not selling, where do I go from there?  Somehow achieve negative sales?


----------



## jasonzc (Dec 23, 2011)

Ben White said:


> I'm so disappointed in this one book of mine. Not because it's failing, but because its ranking simply refuses to rise. It's been stuck at #635,000 for over a month now. There haven't been any sales so why isn't it moving? This kind of thing is just frustrating. What can I do? It's already not selling, where do I go from there? Somehow achieve negative sales?


I guess it's too late to return your copy.


----------



## ruecole (Jun 13, 2012)

Wow, I just realized this thread is not what I thought it was!

I may belong here. At least for one of my titles: For Good or For Bad. I've sold 2 copies of it since I published it in June. It's free on Kobo at the moment, but given the ranking there hasn't changed, I have a feeling I can't even give it away. 

Rue


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

ruecole said:


> Wow, I just realized this thread is not what I thought it was!


Welcome to the club.


----------



## Nova_Implosion (Jul 20, 2012)

I'm the only person who has bought a kindle version of _Canis Major_, even though I consider it a book of high literary merit and have dropped the price from $2.99 to $0.99. Oh well . . .

I've sold and given away a couple dozen softcover versions, however. I realize my subject matter (non-vampire, non-zombie, non-erotica) and storytelling style (_lots_ of cuss words) may be a hard sell in the indie world, but I'm quite proud of the epic novel I wrote.


----------



## MrPLD (Sep 23, 2010)

I'm feeling a bit underwhelmed at the moment.  Just barely hitting a 1-a-day sales point, though mostly because I just released "My Boyfriend is a Zombie" which had a nice ~700 fans page behind it... but goes to show, you can only really expect about a 1~3% conversion rate.


----------



## Missy B (Aug 20, 2012)

I spent an afternoon glutting on this page and it's why I ended up joining kindleboards. 

Unfortunately, I really can't join the club. I've only suffered from BBOS in places like France, Germany and Italty. Oh, and the Dutch just downright despise my words. I humbly grovel in shame for all the sales. It's more than 0. *shame faced*


----------



## Jill James (May 8, 2011)

I went free with a novella this weekend and managed to give away 1 copy.  Yeah! I can post here!!


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Jill James said:


> I went free with a novella this weekend and managed to give away 1 copy. Yeah! I can post here!!


Nah. That free copy has to be _returned_ before you're in with a chance here.


----------



## jasonzc (Dec 23, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> Nah. That free copy has to be _returned_ before you're in with a chance here.


A one-star review, and then a return.

I broke one million. That was quite a milestone not long ago.

Poetry: A Love Story
#1,002,733 in Kindle books store (paid) 3,936 ranks today (updated hourly)


----------



## Jill James (May 8, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> Nah. That free copy has to be _returned_ before you're in with a chance here.


Darn, I'll keep trying!


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

I did a coupon code for a free book promotion a while back and got only a single download - my own, where I was testing whether the coupon code worked.

I guess the many KDP Select freebies mean that people can't be bothered with coupons anymore. 

But just one download during a free promotion, that's a remarkable achievement. Well done, Jill.


----------



## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

Alas, it's been a while since everyone remarked about their wonderful failures. I see you've hit a million - well done. I fear that elusive goal is not to be mine although I do have my first attempt at a novel of sorts sitting roughly between never-read and never-ever-read. I suspect someone stumbled upon it by pure fate and now sits huddle in the corner, bemoaning the fact they clicked the wrong button.

Another reason perchance to resurrect this dead zombie thread: I do believe there are more authors among us who would fit in. I'd hate to see the glorious Beige Bar Order be destroyed simply by too many sales.


----------



## WriteitToday (Oct 24, 2012)

Hi There,
OK I'm a newbie here and perhaps 1 month doesn't count but my short story has sold, wait for it, two copies  One here, and one somewhere else out there in cyberspace  Yeah!!!!!! I thought I'd have to wait at least six months before seeing a sale so you know what? I'm Happy 
Great idea 
Dave.


----------



## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

Two sales in one month is downright sinful in this thread.


----------



## Sapphire (Apr 24, 2012)

I was feeling like such a success at 321,069, but now I see that is failure.  I must fall into a steeper downhill slide to get to 1,000,000.


----------



## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

I hate to say it, but I have become a failure.  I was doing great until my most recent release.  That one is on the verge of its 100th sale.

Commencing self-imposed exile.


----------



## A.A (Mar 30, 2012)

My kids' book has maintained its perfect star rating since its release in May 2012. (No stars at all, of course.)
It was heading towards the fabled million, when it hit an unexpected bump and sold 4 copies last month. Now it's on track and heading back towards the half million mark...

I had a brain spasm this month and decided to have someone draw up a new cartoon cover, and I'm going to *gasp* place the word *fart* in the title so that I can legitimately use the word *fart* in the Amazon title. I call it my great farting experiment. (Well, it is a boys book in which gas is the main focus of the story.)

The cartoonist has blown me away with their talent - but I think I'll be ok. People will admire the cover but continue to ignore the hideously gaseous, bloated and ill-written book that lies beneath. I will make that million yet....


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

OMG this thread is back! I thought we'd lost it forever. Thread, I love you!


----------



## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

I've been bad, I sold over a hundred copies of one book last month. I sincerely apologize. Fortunately things are going back toward normal this month, though I still don't deserve an honored place in this thread. Until I reclaim my status as a success, I will refrain from bothering you who have kept the ideals of this thread alive.


----------



## harrisonbooth (Oct 29, 2012)

Just sold my first copy in a month, which brings my total sales since October to 3 or 4.  It really isn't worth the effort clicking to find out.

I'm sure that'll do for another two months, I'm not too worried about losing my entitlement to be in this thread!


----------



## TexasGirl (Dec 21, 2011)

One of my pen names is doing so well it should be in the hall of fame.

I did a promotion, spent $120 on it and...

Had a return of a previously sold copy, to make my sales a grand total of -1.

I could have bought some fancy shoes instead!!


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Harrison and Texas Girl, your success is truly amazing. It makes me feel truly ashamed of my continuing lack of success of selling roughly one book per day.


----------



## harrisonbooth (Oct 29, 2012)

TexasGirl said:


> One of my pen names is doing so well it should be in the hall of fame.
> 
> I did a promotion, spend $120 on it and
> 
> ...


Minus numbers! That's truly something to aspire to.

And yes Cora, if you're hitting double figures each month you can close the door behind you!


----------



## ecdavis (Feb 6, 2013)

I just put my first novel out called _Lilac Temptress_ on February 3rd, 2013. I've had 16 sales between the 3rd and 10th Feb 2013. Does that count for a successful indie?  It would be nice to know if I am off to a great start!


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## harrisonbooth (Oct 29, 2012)

ecdavis said:


> I just put my first novel out called _Lilac Temptress_ on February 3rd, 2013. I've had 16 sales between the 3rd and 10th Feb 2013. Does that count for a successful indie?  It would be nice to know if I am off to a great start!


Your sales to days published ratio is 2:1, which is terrible. In other words, get out!

Unless, of course, those 16 were mainly your friends and family, in which case we might be able to make an exception.


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## ecdavis (Feb 6, 2013)

Hi harrisonbooth, 

Yes, there are friends and family ordering at this point. However, what would be a good ratio for a first week of sales?


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

ecdavis said:


> Hi harrisonbooth,
> 
> Yes, there are friends and family ordering at this point. However, what would be a good ratio for a first week of sales?


-5 would put you off to a jolly good start. Hope some of those 16 start coming to their senses and begin returning your books, followed by one star reviews stating how the book was lacking in plant fornication.

E.C., this thread is "tongue-in-cheek" meaning our sales are far, far, far, and some are even further from being decent. You're doing good which means you are doing bad on this thread. Once your sales rank starts to get around 600k or even 500k, then that's some mighty impressive stuff. Even more so if you have promotions going on. I have one in the 800k rank right now. I feel all proud and accomplished.


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## ecdavis (Feb 6, 2013)

Splendid! Danielle Kazemi! 

lol


----------



## Carry Lada (Oct 30, 2012)

I first published Dec 1, 2012: (Not counting Select free promotions)
14 units sold
1 borrow

Several readers have told me that they thought my stories were very funny.  

I haven't been able to find my market yet. 

It has been very discouraging.


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Carry, your success is truly an inspiration of us all.

Elisabeth, don't worry yourself. Even if success continues to elude you, it will find you in the end.


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## harrisonbooth (Oct 29, 2012)

Carry Lada said:


> Several readers have told me that they thought my stories were very funny.


That's only a good thing (in this thread) if your books are actually high-stakes political thrillers told in real time.


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## TexasGirl (Dec 21, 2011)

Who let the people who are ACTUALLY SELLING BOOKS into our thread?

Although, they make us look good. My -1 sales is all shiny next to their numbers. I am QUEEN!

Don't try to dethrone me or your lowest ranking title gets it. The "buy" button, that is. I am MERCILESS. You'll be in double-digits in no time and permanently banned from our happy abode.


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## harrisonbooth (Oct 29, 2012)

TexasGirl said:


> Who let the people who are ACTUALLY SELLING BOOKS into our thread?
> 
> Although, they make us look good. My -1 sales is all shiny next to their numbers. I am QUEEN!
> 
> Don't try to dethrone me or your lowest ranking title gets it. The "buy" button, that is. I am MERCILESS. You'll be in double-digits in no time and permanently banned from our happy abode.


I've thrown up a few more titles to try and dilute the one sale I've had this month. I'll shortly be changing the categories to try and make it even more unfindable, and might even pay for some adverts which is a sure-fire way of not getting any sales.

-1 is totally within my grasp!


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

Success is getting one reader to read your stuff (and perhaps pay for it). Then you repeat the process. I've repeated it 18,400 times.   One word at a time - one page at a time - one reader at a time - one read donated to time long after the author's time is up.   

Edward C. Patterson


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Success was largely eluding me there, for a while, but you may all rejoice, for I have achieved that rare feat - the one-million-plus sales rank. 










And I've not just done it on the title above, but I've done it on a second one...










This is slightly more remarkable because this second one is _erotica_ (under a pen name). It takes some serious skill and determination to produce erotica that ranks over one million.


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## Nick Endi Webb (Mar 25, 2012)

Can I join this thread? I have great credentials:

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #893,401 Paid in Kindle Store

Not as great as George, but I'm learnin'.


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

We bow down to your awesome heights (or lows) of success, George.

Endi, true success takes some time (or rather several months of zero sales) to achieve, but a rank in the 800000s is a very good start.


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## WG McCabe (Oct 13, 2012)

I've sold two copies of Hunger on Amazon this week and it's sitting at 116,000. That's the highest I've been so far lol.

As an aside, I sold 4 copies of my stories at B&N in the last two days after selling 1 after a month.


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

George Berger said:


> Success was largely eluding me there, for a while, but you may all rejoice, for I have achieved that rare feat - the one-million-plus sales rank.


So damn jelly I can't even. No matter what I do I can't get better than 800k.

Although I do have a paperback that's ranked #9,393,412. Aiming for the ten million mark. You just gotta keep dreaming your dream, y'know?


----------



## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

Oh for feck's sake, Kindleboards, you're going to censor 'damn'? Heaven forfend anyone see an 'a'.


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## HannahParry (Aug 16, 2012)

No, no, no.  I win.

Total of copies sold in December....1.  Ta dah!!!!


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

I don't think looking for a million ranking is now the Holy Grail, ya' know.  I know it took Cora a couple of years to pull off the first 1 000 000 ranking, but nowadays it's pretty easy.  I have two books ranking over a million in the USA, all it takes is just to sell one copy and wait a month or so.

I think we're looking at 2 million.  Easy.  As well as looking for the lost king.  

A girl can hope...


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## Victoria Champion (Jun 6, 2012)

TexasGirl said:


> One of my pen names is doing so well it should be in the hall of fame.
> 
> I did a promotion, spent $120 on it and...
> 
> ...


Negative sales are the gold standard for this thread! Well done!


----------



## Bruce Rousseau (Mar 3, 2012)

Dang! I could have used this thread when I sold 1 ebook in September, 1 in October, and 1 in November.

I hate to admit it but I bought 2 of those for myself just to check the final product.  (Or maybe it was just the perma-brown-bar talkin'  )

Unfortunately, things are picking up.  Hey, do print books count?  If so, I'm at 1,041,285 in Books.


----------



## MarcyB (Feb 10, 2013)

Oh my goodness, I needed this thread. After a dismal KDP free promo. with no waves of purchases after the fact for my middle grade novel, I was feeling quite blue. Thanks for this "you're not alone" thread.


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## Bruce Rousseau (Mar 3, 2012)

Hang in there Marcy.  I gave away over 5,100 ebooks a few days ago and never saw a bump in sales.  For some of us, sales growth is a slooow thing.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Bruce Rousseau said:


> Unfortunately, things are picking up. Hey, do print books count? If so, I'm at 1,041,285 in Books.


Print only counts once you hit about 6 million...


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## S. Shine (Jan 14, 2013)

This thread is absolutely hilarious. lol 

Had me laughing all along.


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## harrisonbooth (Oct 29, 2012)

Time to bump this thread back up with some incredible news - today I broke the one million mark!  Up to you to guess whether I mean sales or Amazon ranking.


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Congratulations! I've been over a million for a while now, so we are compadres.


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## WG McCabe (Oct 13, 2012)

8 people looked at my new short at Smashwords. Yeah, you can touch me.


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## harrisonbooth (Oct 29, 2012)

It's almost as if people don't have any successes to talk about anymore.  Am I the only one doing well round here?  Is everyone else really in such dire straits that they're having to spend all their earnings on private yachts and, even more extravagantly, perhaps even treadmill desks?

Anyway, last month saw me worried as my book had a brief spell inside the top 300,000, but now thankfully normal service has resumed and it's begun the quick march back to the million mark.  I've also had my first return.

Can anyone top that?


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

I can meet you up in the millions


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## ASparrow (Oct 12, 2009)

Proud member of the sub-million ranked club with my latest novel, Frelsi.    

#1,027,667 Paid in Kindle Store

To think there are almost 28,000 ebooks ranked below 1 million that are less pathetic than mine.

And somehow, I have 2 reviews. That must be a review rate approaching 100% of sales.


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## Septemberlynngray (Dec 25, 2011)

I really believe most writers achieve success and longevity by working hard and slowly building their readership. I have a friend who makes independent films. He's always looking for that one million dollar deal with a major studio when he should be working hard to promote, in my opinion. I'm content to reel in one reader at a time. I get one sale and I'm doing back flips. Lights and Tunnels


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Mr. RAD (aka Sir Lancelot) back in the house y'all.

When I called it quits over a year ago, I unpublished both of my successful titles for fear that they'd somehow begin selling like gangbusters. Well, I've again picked up my writer's badge and republished one of my gems. It's been available since January 1st of this year. Let me give you the great news.

I spent the last three to four months of 2012 re-editing my longest piece. Cut it down from a tad over 70K words to just under 50K. I may have over edited it, but so be it. Nothing I can't change.

Desirous to give my work a good chance at success, I put it in KDP Select and did a 3-day free run. Well, my friends, you'll be happy to know that I gave away approximately 190 copies of my book across six Amazon territories!  Yeah, I know it's shocking when you consider all the people who give away tens of thousands of copies of their books in only one territory. I've clearly beaten them all. 

In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that I made one sale after the free promo. And I got a 3-star review in late April, the only review for the book. I slipped. Didn't mean to. Really.

However, my book recovered from its sharp rankings decline to begin its ascent to new heights. As of now, its rank is well over 1,300,000! Now, I know that doesn't sound like much of an accomplishment these days as more and more people have reached that milestone. But reaching the 1,000,000 mark takes time and going beyond it is just as difficult as reaching the Top 100. Also, a single sale can knock you all the way down to a 100,000 ranking or lower. All that hard work can be gone in an instant. Just sayin'.  

In addition to my glorious rank (both of my books have reached this lofty milestone at least one in their published lives, but only my other gem has done it twice  ), I am thoroughly pleased to report that I haven't sold or given a book away since January. I've gone four straight months (not including this one) with a Turd everywhere that is Amazon and no more reviews. I've righted the ship, y'all. I've gotten back to being a true representative of Successful Indies.

Glad to be back in the game. I'm still the King.


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Your success is truly inspirational, Mr. Rad.


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

*shakes head*

I can't believe how hush hush people are about their success. Isn't that what this thread is for? C'mon, guys and gals, KBoards needs threads like this one to show other authors what's really possible in the world of self-publishing if they give it all they've got. 

Anyway, I have great news to report. I ended the month of June with 0 sales. Nada. Nathan. Zero. Zilch. Whammy. Goose egg. Absolutely none whatsoever. That makes five straight months of monster success. And I'm already off to a good start this month as I've sold nothing and still have the BBoS everywhere! Love it.

And to further prove that I'm headed in the right direction, my book has just passed 1,400,000 in ranking (for ebook). That's a new record for me, something I'm sure HM Ward, Hugh Howey, Liliana Heart, and other so-called bigwigs of KBoards will _never_ achieve.

So you see everyone, dreams can happen. You've just got to believe and work had at it. 

I'm still the king.


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Your success is truly inspiring, sir.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> I'm still the king.


Pretty sure the king will see that differently, lowly knight!


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## Indecisive (Jun 17, 2013)

Am I allowed to post here? I've had a total of about 17 free downloads on Smashwords and have sold 21 or so copies since publishing at the end of December. On the 1st or 2nd day, I got way down to about 35,000 on the Kindle rankings. Now? 85,000s, with one 4-star review.


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

You are certainly on the right track to success, Amelia, but a rating of 82000 is still only a minor success in the face of rankings of 1 million or more.


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## Susanne O (Feb 8, 2010)

I was 'successful' once. Last year for about three months.  Then it all went downhill very fast...  

'Successful' took on a new meaning. Now, to me, selling some copies all my books in a month, even if it's in single figures makes me feel good.

Success is what you make it.


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## ASparrow (Oct 12, 2009)

Susanne OLeary said:


> I was 'successful' once. Last year for about three months.  Then it all went downhill very fast...
> 
> 'Successful' took on a new meaning. Now, to me, selling some copies all my books in a month, even if it's in single figures makes me feel good.
> 
> Success is what you make it.


I cringe whenever someone pays real money for one of my books. I've been successful in getting five of my seven into perma-free status but I wish they could all be that way. I dread receiving my first check from Amazon, but I fear it may be inevitable with the trickle of sales my two 'pricey' books attract every month.

Success for me is a non-promoted freebie that gets a decent review from a stranger once in a while. I really set the bar high, don't I?


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## AgnesWebb (Jan 13, 2013)

ASparrow said:


> To think there are almost 28,000 ebooks ranked below 1 million that are less pathetic than mine.
> 
> And somehow, I have 2 reviews. That must be a review rate approaching 100% of sales.


This is like my short! LOL! I run KDP Select promos, it gets 20 downloads and then like 4 reviews. What _is _that?!?
I feel like maybe that's a new thread 'Seldom Downloaded, Almost Always Reviewed'


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> Pretty sure the king will see that differently, lowly knight!


The king checked out a long time ago, and with my unparalleled sale-less stats (or have you forgotten, my dear Morgan), I immediately took the throne since, well, no one else seemed to want it. 

Yes, I am still the king.


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## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

Mr. RAD said:


> The king checked out a long time ago, and with my unparalleled sale-less stats (or have you forgotten, my dear Morgan), I immediately took the throne since, well, no one else seemed to want it.
> 
> Yes, I am still the king.


You keep thinking that, dearly. I'll just be all lowly and quiet and non-threatening in the corner over here.

Who... me? *wide eyed innocence*


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## momilp (Jan 11, 2010)

This is the place to be. Thanks to Mr. Rad I feel home right now   It's so good to be among peers.


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## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

I've been having mixed success lately.  On one had, my best book is on an inexorable march to 1,000,000.  On the other hand, one of my book has been failing pretty bad lately.  I guess I just have to focus on the positive.  July has been a low sale month, at least.  Of course, it's to my shame that my standards of "low selling" have been creeping up.


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## rchapman1 (Dec 5, 2012)

I haven't received a cheque in any currency yet!  However, when I sold two e-books this month I jumped to 115,302 in the rankings - so that tells me not too many other authors are selling much either!


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Morgan Gallagher said:


> You keep thinking that, dearly. I'll just be all lowly and quiet and non-threatening in the corner over here.
> 
> Who... me? *wide eyed innocence*






momilp said:


> This is the place to be. Thanks to Mr. Rad I feel home right now  It's so good to be among peers.


Welcome, momilp. Kick your shoes off and relax. It's an honor to have you with us. 



Kathelm said:


> I've been having mixed success lately. On one had, my best book is on an inexorable march to 1,000,000. On the other hand, one of my book has been failing pretty bad lately. I guess I just have to focus on the positive. July has been a low sale month, at least. Of course, it's to my shame that my standards of "low selling" have been creeping up.


Congrats on that 1,000,000 march. Sorry to hear about that failing book of yours, but we all know you're going to whip it into shape. Right?



rchapman1 said:


> I haven't received a cheque in any currency yet! However, when I sold two e-books this month I jumped to 115,302 in the rankings - so that tells me not too many other authors are selling much either!


Hey, I've received only one check in exactly two years of self-publishing on Amazon. The amount: $12.59. You're doing fine, my friend.

As for other authors not selling, it's a shame they all refuse to celebrate such success. They'd all be welcome here in this thread.

Keep the reports coming, everyone.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Oh, the joys of being a successful indie!

Hello, friends. Once again I come to this thread with inspirational news. July ended two days ago and I finished the month with (drum roll please) 0 sales across all Amazon markets. That makes _six straight months_ of glory. As for August, I'm already off to a good start.

Going on my seventh consecutive ring, y'all.

[br]*KB Preeminent Turd Master*[br]Less than one[br]sale per quarter​
You know how I do it. It's great to be the king.


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## SarahCarter (Nov 8, 2012)

I got 7 sales and 2 borrows in July, making it my best month yet!


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## leep (Aug 25, 2011)

I sold zip in July, and spent most of it trying to get one of my stories to go perma-free*.

This month, now the book has finally gone free, I have one download and one sale (on another title) already.

I can see a light in the darkness. Fame and fortune are now, surely, only days away!



* Don't go stealing my awesome marketing ideas, if we all do it no one gains...


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

leep and Mr Rad, your success is truly inspiring. SC02, you're certainly on the right way with single digit sales.

Meanwhile, I must report that success eluded me in July, which actually started off with - gasp - more than a single sale per day, though the situation normalised again towards the end of the month.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

CoraBuhlert said:


> leep and Mr Rad, your success is truly inspiring. SC02, you're certainly on the right way with single digit sales.
> 
> Meanwhile, I must report that success eluded me in July, which actually started off with - gasp - more than a single sale per day, though the situation normalised again towards the end of the month.


Thank you for the pat on the back. Those never get old.

I am, however, gravely concerned about that daily average. More than a single sale per day? Please make sure that whatever you did to start last month isn't repeated or you'll fail for sure. And if it's maintained, you may no longer qualify for this prestigious board.


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Releasing a new book can occasionally endanger success, though I usually take precautions by releasing only books that maybe five people in the world want to read. Alas, I was sadly mistaken in the case of this one.


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## NicoleSwan (Oct 2, 2011)

Sold 7 in July with no real change in direction even after revamping all the old covers ( removed the cartoon'ish ones and made OWT more specifically fun-XXX than romance ).  Have 3 month-long adverts going, dropped the new books in to many different groups.  The biggest success was with What-to-read-after-50SOG, but after that it just slid away to nothing.  Very frustrating.  Thus far this month the BBoS's have stayed put.

12 months ago I was selling about 1~2/day, it was acceptable.  I came back after ~10 months of medical leave and it's a disaster I can't seem to pull out of.  F R U S T R A T I N G.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

NicoleSwan said:


> Sold 7 in July with no real change in direction even after revamping all the old covers ( removed the cartoon'ish ones and made OWT more specifically fun-XXX than romance ). Have 3 month-long adverts going, dropped the new books in to many different groups. The biggest success was with What-to-read-after-50SOG, but after that it just slid away to nothing. Very frustrating. Thus far this month the BBoS's have stayed put.
> 
> 12 months ago I was selling about 1~2/day, it was acceptable. I came back after ~10 months of medical leave and it's a disaster I can't seem to pull out of. F R U S T R A T I N G.


Lackluster sales -- that's success in this thread. You're welcome.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

CoraBuhlert said:


> Releasing a new book can occasionally endanger success, though I usually take precautions by releasing only books that maybe five people in the world want to read. Alas, I was sadly mistaken in the case of this one.


You're right, Cora. New releases can cause funny things to happen. Glad to know that things have returned to normal.


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## NicoleSwan (Oct 2, 2011)

Glad to know I'm back in with the 'in' groupies.  Looks like it was a good thing I took the long break.


----------



## Morgan Gallagher (Feb 13, 2011)

NicoleSwan said:


> Glad to know I'm back in with the 'in' groupies. Looks like it was a good thing I took the long break.


Oh yes, this is soooooo the cool table.....


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Well, well, well. It seems I've raised the bar yet again. August ended just as it began for me--without a single sale! That's _seven_ straight months of skid marks (Brown Bars of Shame). Seven I tell you.  Dare I say number eight is twenty-eight days away? Yep. #StrivingForGreatness

Always a pleasure to make y'all proud. 

[br]*KB Preeminent Turd Master*[br]Less than one sale per quarter[br]Only one sale so far this year​


----------



## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

And the hits just keep on coming!

September ended with yet another skid mark in all Amazon territories. No sales, no borrows, no returns, no nothing! I've adjusted the bar even higher with _eight_ consecutive months of BBoS bliss. 

[br]*KB Preeminent Turd Master*[br]Less than one sale per quarter[br]Only one sale so far this year​


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Your success is truly inspirational, Mr. Rad. You are truly the ultimate god among indie authors.

Sadly, success completely eluded me in September, when I even dropped out of the hallowed category of turdmaster.


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

I always smile when I see this thread pop up.


----------



## Sebastiene (Dec 15, 2011)

I once went to see a therapist. I told her, "I'm cursed."

She said, "Ooooo. You have supernatural powers."

Apparently, yes. Yes, I do.


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## Jan Thompson (May 25, 2013)

I win!! 

My claim: I'm still unpublished. You can't go further back than that. Zero sales all the way.

So, pray tell, what's the door prize? Do I get a free coffee? (I don't even drink coffee, but hey, it's free.)


----------



## Michael Buckley (Jun 24, 2013)

All my books total for the last three months. About 700 copies.


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## DavidGil (May 16, 2013)

Six months, eleven sales (across both short stories), despite positive reviews. Makes me wonder how I'll do when I bring a longer work out. I know the quality isn't bad in terms of typos etc. (Given away between 150 - 200 copies across multiple promos, I think, and the odd sale sometimes occurs after doing so, so I assume it's because people have passed the word on) But I picked up a few new friends on Goodreads last month who liked my writing and went on to buy a copy of the story they lacked, so it's not all bad and things might be beginning to look up.

Annoying me that the sample won't update to show I've fixed two very minor errors in Gus and that the mailing list has been added to both shorts. Fixed a comma placement and added in a british spelling instead. I suppose the comma was no biggie at all, just my inner editor wanting to make slight tweaks.

I basically have no income to speak of, so I can't afford editing/cover design. Luckily, I'm a freelance editor myself.


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## Michael Buckley (Jun 24, 2013)

DavidGil said:


> Six months, eleven sales (across both short stories). Makes me wonder how I'll do when I bring a longer work out. I know the quality isn't an issue, though I'm sure everyone thinks that. (Given away between 150 - 200 copies across multiple promos, I think, and the odd sale sometimes occurs after doing so, so I assume it's because people have passed the word on)
> 
> Annoying me that the sample won't update to show I've fixed two very minor errors in Gus and that the mailing list has been added to both shorts. Fixed a comma placement and added in a british spelling instead. I suppose the comma was no biggie at all, just my inner editor wanting to make slight tweaks.
> 
> I basically have no income to speak of, so I can't afford editing/cover design. Luckily, I'm a freelance editor myself.


Join the club. I sold over 700 books in three months. My first amazon check was 19 dollar, second was 56 dollars and the end of this month I should have 262.00. Does not even pay the utilitys. and my sept sales were crap. 86 books and a borrow. about fifty bucks. no Social security and no income. Not fun at all. Just keep writing and keep are fingers cross that one day we will make enough money to pay attention.

Just a word of advice, if you want to sell you need bigger books. 15,000 words or more. I could never sell anything under 5000 words. I have a Christmas story that is 3600 words that might sell. But a regular non holiday topic unless it's erotica I would say you have to crank up the volume and go 15 to 20,000 word min. Some very short stories have sold but not many. People will not buy a 11 or 12 page book.


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## Kevin B. Leigh (Oct 1, 2013)

I am in the middle of a book launch, so finding this thread is pretty discouraging. Anyone want to suggest top three successful actions to help get the word out at the launch? Free cookies with purchase?


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## Michael Buckley (Jun 24, 2013)

Perma free books seem to get the most exposure. If you only have one book you can't do that of course. I have over 700 followers in twitter that never got me a sale. if you have a large facebook audience it might work. There is a page on this forum on how to promote your book, do a search and you will find it. some good information there.


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## DavidGil (May 16, 2013)

kevinleigh said:


> I am in the middle of a book launch, so finding this thread is pretty discouraging. Anyone want to suggest top three successful actions to help get the word out at the launch? Free cookies with purchase?


I setup a Twitter account about two months before I launched my first short story. I rarely posted about myself, did nothing but interact with others/retweet, even bought one of their books. During that time, I'd amassed over 700 followers. Come launch time, I'd sold one copy to a Twitter follower who had positive words to say (privately) and I think I got one review from there after someone had received a free copy. Others did say they'd leave feedback, but never did. It wasn't like I was sending out a tweet every minute either.

So, it's pretty safe to say I don't think much of Twitter and have stopped using it.

One thing you can try, Kevin, is possibly spending some money on ads at Goodreads and Facebook. Maybe try giving out free, advance copies to people in exchange for honest reviews. I don't have the ad option available unfortunately, and I don't really have the contacts etc. for sending out advance copies. You'll have to see what others think regarding ads though, because I've never actually tried those services. I just know that a friend, Robert Evert, tried the ads on Goodreads and he did have people adding his book to their 'to be read' shelves.


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## Kevin B. Leigh (Oct 1, 2013)

Michael Buckley said:


> Perma free books seem to get the most exposure. If you only have one book you can't do that of course. I have over 700 followers in twitter that never got me a sale. if you have a large facebook audience it might work. There is a page on this forum on how to promote your book, do a search and you will find it. some good information there.


Thanks Michael, I agree twitter is sort of a waste, but it works well to get your new blog posts indexed right away by google and bing. They troll twitter for sites all the time.


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## Michael Buckley (Jun 24, 2013)

kevinleigh said:


> Thanks Michael, I agree twitter is sort of a waste, but it works well to get your new blog posts indexed right away by google and bing. They troll twitter for sites all the time.


How do you get your Blog indexed on Google? I have a blog site that is from google, is that indexed automatically. Thanks.


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## Kevin B. Leigh (Oct 1, 2013)

Michael Buckley said:


> How do you get your Blog indexed on Google? I have a blog site that is from google, is that indexed automatically. Thanks.


The way it works is if you post a lot they check more often, but if you want instant indexing then do the following.
1. create a google url short link. by going to http://goo.gl / its a little trick I learned that when they create the short link they also send the crawler to your page right away.
2. Tweet that short link. now twitter will change it to their version which will have a t.co beginning, that does not matter.

Hope this helps.


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## Michael Buckley (Jun 24, 2013)

kevinleigh, Thanks a lot. I will give it a try now.

Get greg's book. He is giving it away for free for a promo. It will tell you how to promote your book and what sites to use to promote the book.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FKR8G6S


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## Kathelm (Sep 27, 2010)

I'm pleased to announce that I am finally a KDP Millionaire.  That's right, one of my novels is ranked 1,008,412.  This was a long time coming.  Unfortunately, the books from my other series continue to embarrass me, but not so harshly as some other unmentionable authors on these boards.


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## alawston (Jun 3, 2012)

Gosh, I'm a KDP multi-millionaire! With my short story collection, my MPhil thesis and my Casanova translation all ranked comfortably over one million places, the only thing letting the side down is a Christmas anthology I contributed to recently, which is really letting the side down with its paltry six figure ranking.

Keep soldiering on, fellow success magnets!


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## Foxolio (Jul 15, 2014)

Congratulations everyone!

For the last 90 days, I've sold a grand total of 0.

Turns out that having an inventory of 4 short stories and doing no marketing doesn't actually result in sales.

I would try and tell you how much I've sold since I started self-publishing back in March, but I can't figure that out. Because I can't figure out how to use the kdp dashboard. I'm going to hazard a guess at about 30 sales in total.

So beat that!


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## Christian Price (Aug 3, 2012)

It's back!!!!!


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Your children's book might have sold to a French expat living in Germany or a German learning French or a bilingual couple looking for French children's books.

Sometimes, it's really weird what will sell in which parts of the world. For example, my German language books sell okay in Spain. I have no idea who's buying them, expats or people learning German. I also have an American reader who only reads my German language books.

BTW, it's great to see this thread back. I still remember the eager race for the elusive rank of one million.


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## Victoria Champion (Jun 6, 2012)

One of my books is in the TWO MILLION rank. Go me!


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Yup, the elusive one million rank or even two million rank is so much easier to reach these days now success continues to elude more and more indie authors.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Mr. R.A.D in the house y'all!!!

That's right, fellow fail... oops, I mean, successful indies. Due to the resurrection of the greatest thread on Kboards, the King is back.

For those who still aim for the once coveted 1,000,000 ranking for a book, I'm pleased to announce that I have two books that are currently beyond that number and climbing. But that's nothing to me as I've reached the seven-figure mark numerous times.

The real announcement is that I've done something really rare (I think). In January 2013, I published a book on the Amazon KDP platform. I used my five free days from the jump and gave away almost 200 copies of my book. After that, the book went on sale for $3.99. Guess what? After selling one copy early that month, I haven't sold a single copy since. Yep, I went an entire 22 months without a sale on any Amazon site before I retired it in October to give 6 newer works of mine the chance to reach such heights. *That's a Turd Year and then some on this book, which makes it my second Turd Year.* Just think about it: I've had a Turd Year (0 sales in 12 months for those who don't know) on two separate books.  Behold the awesomeness!

As you can see, I've still got it. I'm still the King.


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

Kayla. said:


> You are RAD!
> I'm kind of bad on both counts. Most of my books never sell, but do sell every 2 months, which means I can't reach ranking greatness either way.


Thank you, Kayla.

A seven-figure ranking isn't as coveted as it once was, so don't set your sights on it. As for a Turd Year, I just happened to get lucky on two separate occasions with that one. But selling a book or two every two months means you qualify for this thread.

Be warned: do not sell something like 5 or more copies in a day. That kind of _failure_ will have people sharpening their swords around here. A one-time occurrence is acceptable in this thread, but any more than that is unacceptable.


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## KelliWolfe (Oct 14, 2014)

My two novels clock in at #1.41 million and #1.57 million. Although I think I might have sold a couple on Google last month, so does it still count?


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## Mr. RAD (Jan 4, 2011)

KelliWolfe said:


> My two novels clock in at #1.41 million and #1.57 million. Although I think I might have sold a couple on Google last month, so does it still count?


As CoraBuhlert stated, achieving those ranks is much easier nowadays, so they don't carry much weight anymore. But I would like to have more members here, so I say you're all good.


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Wait till you hit two million plus. That, my young friend, is true success.


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## ThomasDiehl (Aug 23, 2014)

CoraBuhlert said:


> Yup, the elusive one million rank or even two million rank is so much easier to reach these days now success continues to elude more and more indie authors.


I don't know. People are mean. Everytime I get close to 400,000 somebody ruins it by buying a copy again.


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Oh yes, those nasty rank busters who destroy every chance to reach a truly exceptional rank.


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## alawston (Jun 3, 2012)

I've broken the 2 million mark with my non-fiction Film Studies text! Fame, glory and riches are all mine. Keep striving and you too could achieve these massive numbers, all it takes is a mere 11 months without any of those pesky "sales" to disrupt your ascent into superstardom!


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## Simplehistory (Dec 9, 2014)

Kayla. said:


> I'm going to test the children's market some more in the near future. I've pretty much given up making any serious money. Actually, a dollar a day (consistently) would be nice, as I'm a very low-maintenance college student. I thought this was the thread to announce my very non-grandiose goals. Maybe. I'd really like to know, but Amazon doesn't give stats.
> Also, on a tongue-in-cheek note, I did real bad today: I sold one of my books, which had gained a 100K+ ranking in my country after weeks of efforts.


What type of children's books do you write?


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## e-chant (May 6, 2014)

I've a book that has just passed the #1.5 million.
I thought that was so cool. But now I've read that #2 million is possible I'm disappointed at being such an amateur.


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## alawston (Jun 3, 2012)

I had a sale in Japan once, spoiling my clean sheet in that wonderful island nation.


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

My lack of success is even more shocking, since I sold two - count them, two - books in Brazil last month.


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## ThomasDiehl (Aug 23, 2014)

alawston said:


> I had a sale in Japan once, spoiling my clean sheet in that wonderful island nation.


Ddin't you know, that's what the red dot on their flag stands for. Indie authors' broken hearts.


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## Andrei Cherascu (Sep 17, 2014)

alawston said:


> I had a sale in Japan once, spoiling my clean sheet in that wonderful island nation.


I had a single sale in Mexico a while back and my book shot to #34 in Fantasy and Scifi right behind A Feast for Crows if I correctly recall. Took a screenshot, posted it on Facebook as a gag and got a ton of "congratulations" before I finally told the truth  I got a real kick out of that.


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## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

Hey, I was No. 1 in epic fantasy at Amazon France once, briefly surpassing a bunch of George R.R. Martin books. And yes, I have a screenshot. Alas, it took me only a single sale to get there.


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## Andrei Cherascu (Sep 17, 2014)

CoraBuhlert said:


> Hey, I was No. 1 in epic fantasy at Amazon France once, briefly surpassing a bunch of George R.R. Martin books. And yes, I have a screenshot.


Did you send it to George?  I would!


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