# Book signing next to Gwyneth Paltrow



## Alan Petersen (May 20, 2011)

Hilarious account of the bad luck of an author having her table next to Gwyneth Paltrow. I thought maybe she could siphon some publicity from the crowds, but nope. At least she's getting some publicity now.

http://www.wooldomination.com/authors-night-2013/?amp;co=f000000009816s-1158206718
http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/gwyneth-paltrow-draws-outrage-authors-highjacking-literary-event-182344858.html



> Near the Main Street of East Hampton, and under lily white tents one hundred authors of varying repute are seated, democratically in alphabetical order, at white clothed snaking tables. Each author sits before their stack of books and a sweeping audience peruse along, stopping to chat with whomever they like, admire, care to know better, and possibly buy a signed and dedicated book or two or three.
> 
> Included were Jay McInerney, Nelson de Mille, A.M. Holmes, Clive Davis, Nile Rodgers, Kitty Kelly, yours truly, and Gwyneth Paltrow. Obviously this is about more than mere literature and includes illustrious shiny stars at the top of their game with books on decorating, parenting, party-throwing, baking and vegan clean living.
> 
> ...


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## Alan Petersen (May 20, 2011)

tkkenyon said:


> I assumed that was a Hugh Howey fan site. Silly me.
> 
> TK Kenyon


Same thing went through my head when I saw that URL.


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## D.L. Shutter (Jul 9, 2011)

She doesn't seem to have done anything snobbish or bitchy at this event but there are whole websites devoted to the endless stream of obnoxious and pretentious comments she's made in public. She plays this super sweet every-girl in her movies but that doesn't seem to be the real her. In all fairness, being raised rich and famous will do that to anyone I guess. 

An hour trapped in an elevator with her or being stranded in Death Valley without water. Hmm. That's a toughy.


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## DCBourone (Sep 10, 2012)

Study her pores.  Wonder at the symmetry of a body sculpted by endless hours of
leisure and millions of dollars.  Wonder at the Industrial Strength of Gwyneth,
raised with a platinum spoon in her mouth and regular infusions of triple filtered
harmonically balanced water distilled from comets.

She is actually quite lovely, one might imagine, and sweet, and adores her children,
and still as isolated from the poor groveling serfs who purchase her branded nostrums
as Satan is from Heaven.

Go Gwyneth.

Someday, a Wise Person will attach your beamish smile to a holographic poster
titled:

The Second Fall of Rome.


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## Guest (Aug 14, 2013)

I honestly don't get the venom here. I don't actually care for Paltrow as an actress, but by all accounts she didn't actually DO anything wrong by attending the event. She has a cookbook out. She got a table just like everyone else.  The author just sounds jealous that the woman has fans who showed up. I suspect the identical thing would have happened if she was sitting next to Stephen King or E.L. James or James Patterson or any number of megastars. But Gwyneth-bashing is a popular sport these days online. This woman sounds like she went out of her way to be a nuisance instead of being a professional.


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## Teutonic0 (May 27, 2013)

Yeah, what did this lady do wrong? 

I get that this author was trying to be snarky and clever, but it kind of backfires.


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## britrocker (May 16, 2011)

Yeah I read that today, I had to laugh about her being under the table


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## dalya (Jul 26, 2011)




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## MsTee (Jul 30, 2012)

Mimi said:


>


LOOOOL!

Oh my god! Hahahaha!

Thank YOU for the laugh, Dalya. This is the best HGH pic I've ever seen.


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## Guest (Aug 14, 2013)

The thing is, her version of events doesn’t even make sense if you have ever attended a book fair and now how they tend to be set up.

If you have ever been to a book fair or a convention, there are basically two types of set ups. 

You have the “booth” set up, which is a table with space on either side between you and the other tables. If we grant the benefit of the doubt and accept that the bodyguard prevented her from getting to her table on the side near Paltrow, there would have been nothing stopping her from simply walking around the other side of the table. 

Then you have the “line” set up, where all of the tables are put end-to-end. In order for her version of events to be correct in a line set up, the committee would have had to set up the tables so that the line “broke” between Paltrow’s table and her table to create a path of egress. And if the line was broken between her and Paltrow to create a path of egress, it doesn’t make sense for the bodyguard to be stopping people from using the path of egress. And if he was as overbearing as she claims, there should have been tons of complaint about him blocking the path of egress. I can’t really believe the fair committee would have placed a path of egress right next to Paltrow specifically because of security and safety reasons. Unless the fair was being run by complete morons, they would have had the path of egress AWAY from where there could be a bottleneck due to crowds.


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## NathanWrann (May 5, 2011)

How rude is it that this author, knowing that the Paltrow clan are vegans, purposely buys a plate full of meat in an attempt to make Gwyneth and family uncomfortable? If she thought Gwyneth had a peanut allergy would she have loaded up with peanut butter sandwiches? That's just lower than low.


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## Guest (Aug 14, 2013)

NathanWrann said:


> How rude is it that this author, knowing that the Paltrow clan are vegans, purposely buys a plate full of meat in an attempt to make Gwyneth and family uncomfortable? If she thought Gwyneth had a peanut allergy would she have loaded up with peanut butter sandwiches? That's just lower than low.


She is probably also the type of person who microwaves a fish sandwich in the communal kitchen during lunch and stinks up the place.

But yes, let's keep in mind it wasn't just Paltrow at this event. She brought her children with her. So this ADULT was also willfully trying to upset kids with her antics.


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## Joshua Dalzelle (Jun 12, 2013)

Jeez people... it was just a funny story that probably didn't even happen the way it was described. The author said as much in her comments.


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## Guest (Aug 14, 2013)

Joshua Dalzelle said:


> Jeez people... it was just a funny story that probably didn't even happen the way it was described. The author said as much in her comments.


If she is now admitting that she lied, then frankly I think even less of her. She manufactured fake controversy at the expense of another person for what, exactly? Cheap linkbait to her site and to sell books? I hope she takea a lot of heat. I'm really tired of people being rewarded for manufacturing controversy.


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## Amanda Brice (Feb 16, 2011)

NathanWrann said:


> How rude is it that this author, knowing that the Paltrow clan are vegans, purposely buys a plate full of meat in an attempt to make Gwyneth and family uncomfortable? If she thought Gwyneth had a peanut allergy would she have loaded up with peanut butter sandwiches? That's just lower than low.


I agree. This article really says a lot more about the author than about Paltrow. Personally, I think Oxenberg was acting completely childish and unprofessional.

Boo hoo. She sat next to someone more famous than her. What exactly did Gwynneth Paltrow do wrong? I know that she says a lot of out of touch things, but the fact that her fans only wanted to see her and not the author sitting next to her? Big freaking deal. That happens at pretty much every book large group book signing. I did one with Jennifer L. Armentrout this spring. In the "YA Booth" (me, Miranda Kenneally, Jodi Meadows, Diana Peterfreund, and Jennifer L. Armentrout), I think the only person who sold more than 5 books was Jen -- who sold tons, because she had fangirls all lined up. They blocked the path to my part of the table, but am I complaining? No. She's more famous and has a TON of fans.

It happens.

The fact of the matter is that the East Hampton Meet the Authors night was for authors of BOOKS. Not authors of literary fiction. Gwynneth wrote a cookbook. Why should she not be allowed to participate?

I'm sorry, but Oxenberg is the one who comes off as pretentious and stupid.


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## Alan Petersen (May 20, 2011)

I believe it's out of frustration. I've never attended a book fair as a reader or writer, but I would imagine she or her publisher paid for that table. Toss in travel expenses and her time, it had to be disappointing to be placed next to a Hollywood star (not Paltrow's doing) causing your table to be blocked and littered with trash by Paltrow's fans, and then have her bodyguards block you from your own table. I wouldn't like it either. But hey, that's way the cookie crumbles and life isn't fair. And she knows it, so she did what writers do best, she blew off steam with a funny, tongue and cheek account of her experience.


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## Guest (Aug 14, 2013)

Alan Petersen said:


> I believe it's out of frustration. I've never attended a book fair as a reader or writer, but I would imagine she or her publisher paid for that table. Toss in travel expenses and her time, it had to be disappointing to be placed next to a Hollywood star (not Paltrow's doing) causing your table to be blocked and littered with trash by Paltrow's fans, and then have her bodyguards block you from your own table. I wouldn't like it either. But hey, that's way the cookie crumbles and life isn't fair. And she knows it, so she did what writers do best, she blew off steam with a funny, tongue and cheek account of her experience.


Except it wasn't funny. If you read my previous post, her version of events (being blocked from her own table) isn't even plausible to anyone who has attended a fair. She manufactured controversy. She didn't blow off steam. And I a very tired of people like her being rewarded for making up faux victimization tales for personal gain.


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## Amanda Brice (Feb 16, 2011)

I didn't find it funny. I found it sounding like sour grapes. Very, very petty. Doesn't make me want to read her books.


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## NathanWrann (May 5, 2011)

She had an opportunity to engage in conversation with A whole lot of people standing in front of her table and she failed to make the most of it. Instead she chose to be bitter and petty and rude. I see the type all the time at conventions, book fairs, craft fairs etc. they sit behind their table with their as crossed and a sour look on their face and then they wonder why nobody wants to buy their merchandise. Instead of being snarky, she could have talked to the fans "I don't know where she is. What's your favorite movie of hers?" She also could have given Paltrow free copies of her books and been more outgoing to her as well (I bet the bodyguard wouldn't have "blocked her path" if she had introduced herself when they first showed up. She failed to realize that Paltrow was there to do a job (signing hundreds of books is not a lot of fun) and missed a great opportunity to make the best of it.


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## Amanda Brice (Feb 16, 2011)

Absolutely, Nathan. Christina Oxenberg had a great opportunity to engage Paltrow's fans and to network and instead she acted like a petulant child who makes a scene when she's not the center of attention.


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## Derrick M. (Jul 27, 2013)

I don't care what anyone says, but just knowing Gwyneth Paltrow had sat in that chair all day would be enough to make try and steal it to take home and build a pedestal for (after locking myself alone in a seperate room with it for a few hours of course!)


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## Vera Nazarian (Jul 1, 2011)

NathanWrann said:


> She had an opportunity to engage in conversation with A whole lot of people standing in front of her table and she failed to make the most of it. Instead she chose to be bitter and petty and rude. I see the type all the time at conventions, book fairs, craft fairs etc. they sit behind their table with their as crossed and a sour look on their face and then they wonder why nobody wants to buy their merchandise. Instead of being snarky, she could have talked to the fans "I don't know where she is. What's your favorite movie of hers?" She also could have given Paltrow free copies of her books and been more outgoing to her as well (I bet the bodyguard wouldn't have "blocked her path" if she had introduced herself when they first showed up. She failed to realize that Paltrow was there to do a job (signing hundreds of books is not a lot of fun) and missed a great opportunity to make the best of it.


Exactly.

This was a golden networking opportunity.

She did not take it.

When you sit next to a celebrity signer (and I've sat next to quite a few), you introduce yourself, maintain regular friendly (but polite and professional) eye contact and commentary, and for goodness sake, never leave the table until they do, or you lose precious seconds of useful time!


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## Guest (Aug 14, 2013)

Derrick M. said:


> I don't care what anyone says, but just knowing Gwyneth Paltrow had sat in that chair all day would be enough to make try and steal it to take home and build a pedestal for (after locking myself alone in a seperate room with it for a few hours of course!)


So what you are saying is YOU are the reason the bodyguards were there in the first place?


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## JumpingShip (Jun 3, 2010)

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> She is probably also the type of person who microwaves a fish sandwich in the communal kitchen during lunch and stinks up the place.


I had to lol at your example because just yesterday, my coworker brought fish for lunch. We used to have a microwave in our office, but they took it away saying our wiring wasn't approved for it--never mind that the three offices next to ours have their own microwave. So, we always feel a little ticked that we have to parade through half the hospital to find a microwave to use to heat our meals. Anyway, yesterday, the coworker was debating which unit to go to heat her fish. We settled on the one where the nurses are the most snobby.


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## NathanWrann (May 5, 2011)

MaryMcDonald said:


> I had to lol at your example because just yesterday, my coworker brought fish for lunch. We used to have a microwave in our office, but they took it away saying our wiring wasn't approved for it--never mind that the three offices next to ours have their own microwave. So, we always feel a little ticked that we have to parade through half the hospital to find a microwave to use to heat our meals. Anyway, yesterday, the coworker was debating which unit to go to heat her fish. We settled on the one where the nurses are the most snobby.


Am I the only one scared that a HOSPITAL doesn't have wiring sufficient for a microwave?


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## CraigInOregon (Aug 6, 2010)

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> I honestly don't get the venom here. I don't actually care for Paltrow as an actress, but by all accounts she didn't actually DO anything wrong by attending the event. She has a cookbook out. She got a table just like everyone else. The author just sounds jealous that the woman has fans who showed up. I suspect the identical thing would have happened if she was sitting next to Stephen King or E.L. James or James Patterson or any number of megastars. But Gwyneth-bashing is a popular sport these days online. This woman sounds like she went out of her way to be a nuisance instead of being a professional.


It's probably not so much about Gwyneth herself. But if she arrived with her full family and two beefy bodyguards, and they were standing around in a way that blocked the public off from other authors, and those other authors off from the public, I can see where that would engender some hard feelings.

I think what Gwyneth did was probably nothing more than standard for her when she's making a public appearance... but authors aren't used to the "entourage and security" attachments that are part-and-parcel of a movie star's life, but not part-and-parcel of most author's lives.

And I suspect there is jealousy, too. Serious writers tend to get rankled when they spend years facing rejection and finally getting noticed and then... boom, some movie star or pop star gets an automatic book deal when they decide they want to write a book, even if they have no track record of being a writer.

I know a friend of mine almost gave up on writing in the 1990s because he'd spent a small fortune sending his novels around and not gaining much success, and then he heard that Britney Spears and LeAnn Rimes both got book deals even though the longest thing either of them had ever written was a six-minute song lyric. Literally, he threw a newspaper across the apartment and said, "That's it. I give up."

Ultimately, he didn't give up. But I understood his frustration. Celebr-authors don't have to pay their dues the way most of us do. And get paid advances for their name value, not their proven ability to sell copies. And more often then not, because of those large advances and sales that underwhelm for celebr-authors... most of their books are money-losers and end up in the remainder bin and bargain tables quicker than most.


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## Guest (Aug 15, 2013)

NathanWrann said:


> Am I the only one scared that a HOSPITAL doesn't have wiring sufficient for a microwave?


You obviously have not seen the voltage on some of these microwaves...


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## MrBourbons (May 1, 2013)

Even The Guardian has managed to pick up on this story!

http://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/shortcuts/2013/aug/15/christina-oxenburg-pretended-be-gwyneth-paltrow


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## Derrick M. (Jul 27, 2013)

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> So what you are saying is YOU are the reason the bodyguards were there in the first place?


hahaha...yes, I take full credit!


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