# I've never read any of the authors in the screensavers!



## Morf (Nov 18, 2010)

A bit embarrassing to admit this...

I've been looking at the screensavers as they appear, and I've come to the conclusion that I have never read any of these authors books at all!

Now, I've got a DTB library of over 800 books, and in my nearly half-a century of life I've ready many hundreds (if not thousands) more besides, but it seems that these authors have passed me by (though I've heard of them, of course).

I vaguely remember trying 20,000 Leagues when I was young, but I don't think I finished it. I don't think I've even ever read an Agatha Christie.

The nearest I've probably come otherwise is that I've read Jasper Fforde's "The Eyre Affair" several times!

Anybody else avoided the 'classics' as much as I seem to have?

For reference, the list is:


Virginia Woolf
Jules Verne
Jane Austen
Ralph Ellison
Harriet Beecher Stowe
Emily Dickinson
Mark Twain
John Steinbeck
Charlotte Brontë
Agatha Christie
Alexandre Dumas


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## Elk (Oct 4, 2010)

Fun observation.

The list runs from great to why have they been included other than there is a picture of them.

I bet you have read a bit of Twain as there are so many short stories and the like.

I have not read any Agatha Christie or Ralph Ellison (only one notable book in any event but I am certain well worth reading).

Harriet Beecher Stowe is known only for _Uncle Tom's Cabin_, historically important but hardly a great book.


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## LauraB (Nov 23, 2008)

The only one I've never read is Jules Verne.


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## MLPMom (Nov 27, 2009)

I have read about half of them but some of them, I don't even know what they write! Kind of embarrassing to admit actually.


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## Syria Says... AKA Celia Can Read (Apr 16, 2010)

Morf said:


> Anybody else avoided the 'classics' as much as I seem to have?
> 
> For reference, the list is:
> 
> ...


I've only read a few of those as well... I've read Steinbeck (Blah!), Stowe and some Dickinson. Of course, as any right proper southern gal should, I've read quite a bit of Mark Twain.



Elk said:


> Harriet Beecher Stowe is known only for _Uncle Tom's Cabin_, historically important but hardly a great book.


I agree... The book was historically very important, but I don't know that it had that big of an impact on literature overall...


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## Tip10 (Apr 16, 2009)

The only one I can't say for certain is Ellison and I'm willing to be that I've read something by him as well in my past...


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## Morf (Nov 18, 2010)

Well, you're all managing to show me up so far! 

My only excuse is that a lot of the authors are American and so perhaps weren't as important in an English school, and I'm afraid I'd be unlikely to read a 'classic' unless it was a set book at school.

Now, if the list had been Sci-Fi authors like Asimov, Heinlein, Harry Harrison etc then I'd have got a better score!


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## history_lover (Aug 9, 2010)

I've never read any of them either. I don't see anything wrong with that. I have downloaded a few Jane Austen books but haven't read them yet.


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

Morf said:


> Virginia Woolf
> Jules Verne
> Jane Austen
> Ralph Ellison
> ...


Jules Verne, Mark Twain, Agatha Christie, Alexandre Dumas, John Steinbeck, and Jane Austen are all in my "Yes, I have read them, many times" list of authors.
The rest? nope.. not once.


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

Virginia Woolf-  nope
Jules Verne- yes
Jane Austen- yes
Ralph Ellison- nope
Harriet Beecher Stowe- nope
Emily Dickinson -yes
Mark Twain- yes
John Steinbeck- yes (for school)
Charlotte Brontë- yes
Agatha Christie -yes
Alexandre Dumas -yes


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## Martel47 (Jun 14, 2010)

Virginia Woolf-nope
Jules Verne-yep
Jane Austen-wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
Ralph Ellison-used to have a copy somewhere, but never read it
Harriet Beecher Stowe-read part of UTC
Emily Dickinson-yes, but I got depressed afterward
Mark Twain-love Twain, yes, yes, yes
John Steinbeck-yes, but strangely enough, not his 'major' works
Charlotte Brontë-yes, hated it
Agatha Christie-yes, but not much
Alexandre Dumas-not in the original language, but yes


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## Thalia the Muse (Jan 20, 2010)

I've read everyone on the list but Dumas -- and having been there and read that, I agree that there's no need to read Harriet Beecher Stowe. Uncle Tom's Cabin is historically important propaganda, but I think most of us are now convinced that slavery is not a good thing.

I have Count of Monte Cristo on my Kindle, and will get to it eventually. For a long time, you couldn't get a Ralph Ellison book on your Kindle, which made the screen saver particularly silly, but now Invisible Man is Kindleized.


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## Tatiana (Aug 20, 2010)

I've read something by all the authors except Virginia Woolf and Ralph Ellison.


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## mom133d (aka Liz) (Nov 25, 2008)

Fun!!

Let's see...

Virginia Woolf - one, I read Mrs Dalloway when the movie was coming out
Jules Verne - I did finally make it through 20,000 leagues. Won't touch another. I respect what he did for sci-fi & fantasy, but I really struggle with 19th century novels
Jane Austen - English class
Ralph Ellison - no
Harriet Beecher Stowe - I think we read a selection in English class
Emily Dickinson - possibily in English class
Mark Twain - English class
John Steinbeck - English class (and a big ugh)
Charlotte Brontë - English class
Agatha Christie - no
Alexandre Dumas - no

[/quote]


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## mayfire (Nov 11, 2010)

Now you have a New Year's resolution: read one work from each author each month. I counted 11. That gives you a month off or a chance to read a second book by one of them. Who knows? You may find a new love.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

To the best of my recollection -- which may be faulty, considering some of these would have been over 30 years ago:


AuthorRead for ClassRead for PleasureVirginia Woolf Jules Vernemaybe one?severalJane Austenone Ralph Ellison Harriet Beecher Stowe Emily Dickinsona few Mark Twainsomea fewJohn Steinbeckone Charlotte Brontëone or two Agatha Christie Alexandre Dumasa few


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## drenfrow (Jan 27, 2010)

Virginia Woolf-  yes, Mrs. Dalloway
Jules Verne- yes, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
Jane Austen- yes, love her
Ralph Ellison- no
Harriet Beecher Stowe- maybe in school
Emily Dickinson -yes, in school
Mark Twain- yes, lots
John Steinbeck- yes, lots
Charlotte Brontë- yes, all
Agatha Christie -yes, all
Alexandre Dumas -no

One of the reasons I put the screensaver hack on my Kindle was to get rid of Emily Dickinson's face.  Seriously, I find that picture absolutely frightening.


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## LauraB (Nov 23, 2008)

Steinbeck was a screensaver for about 1 1/2 years before his books (any of them were available on kindle.


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## Syria Says... AKA Celia Can Read (Apr 16, 2010)

drenfrow said:


> One of the reasons I put the screensaver hack on my Kindle was to get rid of Emily Dickinson's face. Seriously, I find that picture absolutely frightening.


HILARIOUS! I always thought the same thing... The screensaver pics are a tad bit scary...

And saaaaaaaaay! I didn't know there was a hack for that! I guess if there can be an app for anything, there's a hack for everything... Ha!


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

Syria Says... said:


> And saaaaaaaaay! I didn't know there was a hack for that! I guess if there can be an app for anything, there's a hack for everything... Ha!


Oh yes Syria, go look in the Photo threads, there are TONS of custom made screensavers so you can get rid of those nasty dead peoples. (actually the regular screensavers weren't absolutely horrid, but when they would flash as you turned them off, I thought they looked like zombies of themselves.)


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## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

Harriet Beacher Stowe was Sam Clemens' (Mark Twain) neighbor in Hartford, CT. I toured both of their houses. Any science fiction fan should read Verne, anyone should read Twain.


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## Thumper (Feb 26, 2009)

I haven't read anything by Ellison and I'm 99% sure I've never read Woolf. I don't think anyone needs to feel bad about not reading the classics, unless it's an avoidance for the heck of it kind of thing. People who have scoped out some classics and realize it's not an enjoyable way to spend their reading time, that's cool. As long as it's been given a shot once or twice...


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## Morf (Nov 18, 2010)

mayfire said:


> Now you have a New Year's resolution: read one work from each author each month. I counted 11. That gives you a month off or a chance to read a second book by one of them. Who knows? You may find a new love.


That's an interesting challenge, Mayfire, and it got me thinking. What I'm trying to think of is a way of counting them off in an alternative way - I want to see if I can get a 'hit' against every one of the authors without *actually* reading any of their books!

Am I crazy? Possibly so. This is what I've thought of so far..

Virginia Woolf - I'm going to watch, or read the script of, "Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?"
Jules Verne - The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I've actually read "Journey to the Centre of the Earth" - I seem to remember them walking down a spiral path down the inside of a volcano, so I'm going to count that as done.
Charlotte Brontë - Jasper Fforde has done this well enough for me in "The Eyre Affair" - I know more than enough about the story without ever reading it!
Jane Austen - Jasper Fforde again, he likes to "mess about" in Jane Austen almost as much as in the Brontë books as witness the "Austen Rover" in First Among Sequels.
Ralph Ellison - Well, it appears his main claim to fame is "Invisible Man", and I've read HG Wells' version so I'm counting that one as well.
Mark Twain - Spent a fair chunk of my teenage years listening to Rush, and can probably still sing "Tom Sawyer". Next!
John Steinbeck - Helped my daughter with "Mice and Men" when it was one of here school books, so I'm not going near that one again thank you 
Agatha Christie - She appears as a 'bit part' in the book I'm reading right now (Connie Willis, All Clear) - I think an author appearing in another's book counts.

So, that leaves only three, I'm hoping people can come up with some off-beat ways of me counting those as well:
Alexandre Dumas - Musketeers? Must be something there. Failing that there's always a Monte Cristo sandwich, but they look rather like a heart attack on a plate.
Emily Dickinson - Even having Wikipedia'd her, I'm still non the wiser, she means nothing to me at all other than that she appears to be a pretty awful poet. Maybe she's a Vogon (which would explain the picture)! If so, I can quote the Vogon Captain's poem more or less verbatim (Oh freddled Gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me....)

And finally...

Harriet Beecher Stowe - I'm keeping this one for last because I'm actually looking forward to this one. You see, I live only a few miles from Blackpool (*) and there is a pub on the promenade in Blackpool called - and I kid you not - Uncle Tom's Cabin!(http://www.blackpoolgazette.co.uk/blackpoolnews/Famous-Blackpool-pub-to-reopen.5045145.jp)

So once I've got the rest, I'll take a trip there and have a pint to celebrate.

Now I just need ideas for the last couple - any thoughts anybody?

Morf

[* - Note about Blackpool for the benefit of those outside the UK - Blackpool is a seaside resort, famous for its tower (Paris has a better one), its lights (Illuminations) - I think the Strip in Vegas puts those to shame, its sea beaches (but you wouldn't want to actually go in the sea, it's pretty horrible) and its trams (most large cities have these now, nice new ones whereas Blackpool's are pretty ancient).

Oh, and Blackpool Rock. Which is a sugar candy that comes in a stick and has had a song sung about it by a man with a Ukelele.

I described Blackpool to an American colleague once and she said it sounded like Atlantic City. I suspect that was an insult to Atlantic City.

I just mention this so you realise that visiting Blackpool will not actually be something I'll look forward to at all, even to get a pint!]


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## Thalia the Muse (Jan 20, 2010)

Dumas -- have you ever eaten a Three Musketeers candy bar? If not, go do it and then you can cross one off your list. 

Dickinson is NOT an awful poet, she's pretty d*mn good one, even if a little loopy with the punctuation. Let's see ... all her poems can be sung to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas." If you've ever head that song, you can cross her off too!


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## Morf (Nov 18, 2010)

Thalia the Muse said:


> Dumas -- have you ever eaten a Three Musketeers candy bar? If not, go do it and then you can cross one off your list.
> 
> Dickinson is NOT an awful poet, she's pretty d*mn good one, even if a little loopy with the punctuation. Let's see ... all her poems can be sung to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas." If you've ever head that song, you can cross her off too!


Sadly, being in the UK, Three Musketeers have never reached us - that would be a good one otherwise! (We also don't get many of the candy brands I've read about in American books such as Hershey bars, although Reeces Pieces have started appearing here recently.)

Dickinson, once you've pointed out the song connection the poem structure does sort-of make more sense - but if you can imagine reading them completely cold on a Wikipedia page as I did then you can maybe see how confusing they would be. Maybe I'll try and sing the Vogon's poem to "The Yellow Rose of Texas" - but even if I manage it, I'm NOT going to record it for people to hear!


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## Syria Says... AKA Celia Can Read (Apr 16, 2010)

Morf said:


> Jules Verne - The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I've actually read "Journey to the Centre of the Earth" - I seem to remember them walking down a spiral path down the inside of a volcano, so I'm going to count that as done.


And you know what, I believe I've read this one too... *strokes imaginary beard*



Morf said:


> So, that leaves only three, I'm hoping people can come up with some off-beat ways of me counting those as well:
> Alexandre Dumas - Musketeers? Must be something there. Failing that there's always a Monte Cristo sandwich, but they look rather like a heart attack on a plate.


...now I want a Monte Cristo... Mmmm... Deep fried sammich...


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## Martel47 (Jun 14, 2010)

I'm on-board with the Monte Cristo sandwich idea.  It is a heart-attack-on-a-plate, but it is delicious. 

Drool


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## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

For Dumas, rent the great Three and Four Musketeers movies directed by Richard Lester.

For Dickinson, never leave your house all your life and never intend to publish anything you write.


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## Morf (Nov 18, 2010)

R. Reed said:


> For Dickinson, never leave your house all your life and never intend to publish anything you write.


LOL!


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## emalvick (Sep 14, 2010)

Hmmm... I've only really read Twain and Steinbeck.  I actually ughed on him based on Of Mice and Men when in High school, but then I discovered a couple of other books of his and have now read about a dozen.  Of Mice and Men is still very forgettable for me. Twain was fantastic, but I haven't read him since I was in school.

Most of the other authors I'd rather not read, not because I avoid classics (I love them in general) but more because I just don't care for what those authors have to offer.  I actually do have interest in reading Dumas or Verne, but they are low on my TBR list.


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## 13500 (Apr 22, 2010)

I've read all but Ellison. Most are required reading for literature majors, be they English or American.

I still remember the first time I found out one could major in English literature, I think I was in high school, trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. I could not believe it. Read, analyze and discuss great works of literature every day? Really? It was paradise.


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## Syria Says... AKA Celia Can Read (Apr 16, 2010)

Thalia the Muse said:


> Dickinson is NOT an awful poet, she's pretty d*mn good one, even if a little loopy with the punctuation. Let's see ... all her poems can be sung to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas." If you've ever head that song, you can cross her off too!


BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


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## purplepen79 (May 6, 2010)

Intriguing list . . . it's strange. Elliott Engel wrote a book called _A Dab of Dickens and A Touch of Twain _ that features essays about several of these writers. Engel's essays are these great biographical sketches that provide obscure details about authors' lives and how their lives inspired their work in surprising ways. If you like non-fiction writing about fiction writers, I recommend you check out the Engel book.

Woolf ~ none, though I have a friend who's obsessed with her, so I've always felt like I should read her, but what I should read is often what I don't read. 
Verne ~ none
Stowe ~ none
Dickinson ~ I've read almost all her poems and adore them. They put me into an alternate mental state, almost like meditation. I think all great poetry should do this. 
Bronte ~ I've read _Jane Eyre_ at least 10 times. Love that book. Haven't been able to get into any of her other books.
Austen ~ read almost all of hers, some (like _Pride and Prejudice_) more than once. I find I have an Austen mood--I'll read her obsessively for a month or so, and then don't pick up another book of hers for years.
Ellison ~ I had to read _The Invisible Man _ for school and I enjoyed it. Haven't read anything else of his.
Twain ~ read _Huckleberry Finn _ and some short stories, one about a frog and one about some really smelly cheese on a train, and that's about it. Enjoy his voice but he's not one of my favorites.
Steinbeck ~ I liked the second part of _The Red Pony _ and loved _Now Is the Winter of Our Discontent _ and _Cannery Row_. Otherwise, not so much.
Christie and Dumas ~ I've lumped these two together because I read almost all their works in high school and loved them then. Now, I appreciate them, but I wouldn't say that I love them.


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## Neekeebee (Jan 10, 2009)

Virginia Woolf - No, and her picture on my Kindle doesn't make me want to read her works.
Jules Verne - Yes
Jane Austen - Yes! 
Ralph Ellison - Yes, I really liked _The Invisible Man_ when I read it in high school.
Harriet Beecher Stowe - No, but have had the book for a long time.
Emily Dickinson - Yes.
Mark Twain - Yes
John Steinbeck - Yes
Charlotte Brontë - No, but have also had _Jane Eyre_ for a long time. (Tho' I must admit, I had to look up whether she wrote _Wuthering Hts_, which I have read.)
Agatha Christie - Only a couple
Alexandre Dumas - Made it about halfway through _Count of Monte Cristo_ once. Plan to try again soon.
BTW, what happened to Oscar Wilde?

N


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## 1131 (Dec 18, 2008)

All but Ralph Ellison.  The only ones I've voluntarily read more than once are Verne, Twain, Dumas and Christie.  I wouldn't object to reading another Woolf but the rest I can do without.


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## Morf (Nov 18, 2010)

Morf said:


> That's an interesting challenge, Mayfire, and it got me thinking. What I'm trying to think of is a way of counting them off in an alternative way - I want to see if I can get a 'hit' against every one of the authors without *actually* reading any of their books!
> 
> Am I crazy? Possibly so. This is what I've thought of so far..
> 
> ...


Quoting myself here , I've found another interesting way of 'ticking' Harriet Beecher Stowe without reading Uncle Tom's Cabin - I've found a short story by Robert Charles Wilson called "This Peaceable Land: or, The Unbearable Vision of Harriet Beacher Stowe" [Other Earths edited by Nick Gevers & Jay Tobias Lake - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Other-Earths-Nick-Gevers/dp/0756405467/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1292684203&sr=8-1] - so I might just make it a double by reading this story while drinking a pint in "Uncle Tom's Cabin" in Blackpool.

I suppose I could ask them to make me a Monte Cristo sandwich to go with the pint 

I'll keep you all posted!


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## CathyQuinn (Dec 9, 2010)

Yes, the screensavers do tend to make you feel guilty for all the classics you haven't read...


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

I've read them all, and some have been favorites of mine for years. A couple were read only because they were requirements in classes. My favorites of them are Jane Austen, Mark Twain, and Oscar Wilde, although I don't see him on your list. He was a screensaver in the past. Has he now disappeared? As for Emily Dickinson, her poetry is pretty strange (in my view), and I'd have been a tad bit afraid to read anything she wrote had I seen her screensaver picture first. Creepy doesn't being to describe it.


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## Morf (Nov 18, 2010)

My list was international K3, I think there have been some changes from earlier versions. I took the list from a post I found somewhere, but double-checked it against my Kindle.

Entirely agree with you about Emily Dickinson's creepy portrait!


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## James Everington (Dec 25, 2010)

I've read most of them... I've read a lot of Woolf: hard going but rewarding once you 'get' her (except The Waves, which really _is_ hard going).


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## theaatkinson (Sep 22, 2010)

I haven't read any of them either, but I think it might be because I read a lot of horror during my teens and early 20s when I would devour just about anything that had words.  Later on, as my palate refined, I started looking for more literary works in a contemporary vein. Those classic authors got left behind.  I'm surprised that some classic authors are not on the screen savers, though.  And I have read some of those, to my defense.  Grin.  But I like the challenge idea. And they just might give it a shot.  I'm not sure I could read all 11 as some of them write in genres that I just don't like.  But I will make it a goal to read at least one of them.


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## Alle Meine Entchen (Dec 6, 2009)

Morf said:


> That's an interesting challenge, Mayfire, and it got me thinking. What I'm trying to think of is a way of counting them off in an alternative way - I want to see if I can get a 'hit' against every one of the authors without *actually* reading any of their books!
> 
> Am I crazy? Possibly so. This is what I've thought of so far..
> 
> ...


Pick me! Pick me! I know the answer! Disney made a 3 musketeer movie in '93 w/ some eye candy in it and I found a nice youtube vid:


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## The Hooded Claw (Oct 12, 2009)

If you haven't read Mark Twain, click below and read "Taming The Bicycle" right now! It is short and fun.

http://www.bicyclinglife.com/howto/TamingTheBicycle.htm

As for my "score" on the screen saver authors:

Virginia Woolf--I'm afraid not (hee hee)
Jules Verne--Lots! Though he can be a wordy cuss.
Jane Austen--Probably in School, but I don't remember
Ralph Ellison--Nope
Harriet Beecher Stowe--Nope, and with a respectful nod to her place in history, no particular interest
Emily Dickinson--Only in school, though she is okay
Mark Twain--Lots! Love him! (in a brotherly and non-necrophiliac way)
John Steinbeck--Several. Good author!
Charlotte Brontë--Probably in school, but it wore off
Agatha Christie--Lots! Hercule is nearly 1/4 as cool as Sherlock Holmes on the Claw Meter (which is quite an accomplishment)! And Jane is hawt! 
Alexandre Dumas--I ought to read The Three Musketeers, but haven't

What I want to know is, where are Rudyard and Arthur on the screen savers?


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## Stephen T. Harper (Dec 20, 2010)

If you haven't read Steinbeck, then there are still classics out there that will blow you away.  The Grapes of Wrath is still probably the most socially relevant American novel of the last 100 years.  And it's even more relevant today than it was 10 years ago.  Understand the plight of the Joads and you will understand everything that's happening right now. 

And for my money, the ending, the scene that they dared not put into the movie for the most silly of censorship rationale, is still the single most powerful moment I've ever read.


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## LauraB (Nov 23, 2008)

A good Steinbeck fo the cautious is Travels With Charlie.  It is a good read. And is on kindle.


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## Thalia the Muse (Jan 20, 2010)

Cannery Row is fun, too. I agree that Grapes of Wrath is his masterpiece.


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## Morf (Nov 18, 2010)

Alle Meine Entchen said:


> Pick me! Pick me! I know the answer! Disney made a 3 musketeer movie in '93 w/ some eye candy in it and I found a nice youtube vid:


Excellent, I don't know why I didn't think of it before, I've seen that film *and* the Oliver Reed 1973 version -so that's Dumas crossed off the list!

Many thanks, Alle Meine Entchen!


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## drenfrow (Jan 27, 2010)

STH said:


> If you haven't read Steinbeck, then there are still classics out there that will blow you away. The Grapes of Wrath is still probably the most socially relevant American novel of the last 100 years. And it's even more relevant today than it was 10 years ago. Understand the plight of the Joads and you will understand everything that's happening right now.
> 
> And for my money, the ending, the scene that they dared not put into the movie for the most silly of censorship rationale, is still the single most powerful moment I've ever read.


I completely agree with you about the ending of _The Grapes of Wrath_. It has been many years and I can still remember the feeling I had when I read that; powerful is absolutely the right word for it.


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