# This has got to be the worst movie ever...



## Holly A Hook (Sep 19, 2010)

Scene from a movie my sister found online:

I can't describe it in words. You'll just have to see for yourself.


----------



## JimJ (Mar 3, 2009)

I proudly own this bad boy on blu-ray. I'm a huge fan of the "so bad they're good" movies (I even made a thread about it) and this is great. There is supposed to be a 3D sequel in the works


----------



## KindleChickie (Oct 24, 2009)

Holly A Hook said:


> Scene from a movie my sister found online:
> 
> I can't describe it in words. You'll just have to see for yourself.


I can't view it, could you possibly write the title in your post so those us flash impaired will know what is being discussed?


----------



## D.A. Boulter (Jun 11, 2010)

KindleChickie said:


> I can't view it, could you possibly write the title in your post so those us flash impaired will know what is being discussed?


Birdemic: Shock and Terror

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrxZblVUkMU&feature=player_embedded

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1316037/

Worst movie ever? Possibly. Have you ever seen "Teenage Catgirls in Heat"? I saw the box at the video rental store every so often for about two years before I actually looked it up and found it wasn't porn at all. Then I rented it. Now I try to share the pain.

NSFW

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108307/


----------



## VKScott (Apr 14, 2011)

Any flicks from film company The Asylum fit under this as well. I'm a proud (ashamed?) to say that I've seen Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus on Bluray. Aside from thirty seconds where a shark attacks a plane (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXiExCuHZDg), it's the literally the worst movie I've ever seen. Heck, they made a fight between a Mega Shark and a Giant Octopus BORING. How do you pull that off?


----------



## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Zardoz, people, Zardoz!


----------



## Remi Michaud (Apr 24, 2011)

Oh GOD! I had finally managed to scour that image from my mind! It took weeks of intensive therapy and copious amounts of alcohol! And now it's back! It's BACK!


----------



## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

GAWD Leslie.. GIVE warning!

and after Leslie's pick.. I think #2 goes to:


----------



## Holly A Hook (Sep 19, 2010)

D.A. Boulter said:


> Worst movie ever? Possibly. Have you ever seen "Teenage Catgirls in Heat"? I saw the box at the video rental store every so often for about two years before I actually looked it up and found it wasn't porn at all. Then I rented it. Now I try to share the pain.
> 
> NSFW
> 
> ...


----------



## The Fussy Librarian (May 3, 2011)

I used to be a film critic, which most people think must be the best job in the history of employment. But you would not believe how many truly AWFUL movies you have to sit through when you're a film critic. Not just stuff that doesn't interest you -- I'm talking about stuff that has no value whatsoever.

For me, that worst of that group was the film adaptation of Bret Ellis Easton's THE RULES OF ATTRACTION. And this coming from someone who loved AMERICAN PSYCHO. Just nothing redeeming whatsoever -- a fairly pointless story about narcissistic characters who should have all been hit by a meteor. 

At least a lot of the movies here are in the so bad they're kinda funny category. The Rules of Attraction was just two hours of my life that I'm never going to get back.


----------



## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

This girl reviews those really bad, funny movies and is hilarious to listen to: http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/ol/olp

Looking at her most recent reviews, she actually did Birdemic a couple months ago.  I haven't watched it yet, though.


----------



## balaspa (Dec 27, 2009)

I have heard of this movie before!  It is indeed often cited as one of the worst films of all time.  However, I cannot believe just how horrible that scene actually was.  Can you imagine what the director told these people?  Yeah, just stand near the car and wave the clothes hangers around in the air...I'll put the birds in in post!


----------



## JeanneM (Mar 21, 2011)

Hands down...it has to be Ed Wood's Plan 9 from Outer Space. It is so bad...I love it so much. LOL


----------



## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

The catgirls one looks like it might be funny, but the bird thing...geez, with a little creative editing and some bird footage I could create a much better illusion that birds are attacking. How can anyone have looked at that in the editing software and thought it was ready to sell to the public?


----------



## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Leslie said:


> Zardoz, people, Zardoz!


I actually liked "Zardoz". In fact, I own a copy on DVD. I ain't claiming it's a great movie by any means, but I'd rather watch it than a lot of movies with much bigger budgets.

Speaking of budgets, while "Birdemic" is probably pretty horrible, it's a 90-minute movie made with a budget of $10,000 (according to Wikipedia and IMDB); and as that's about *0.003%* of what "Avatar" cost to produce, and based on how unimpressed I was by that movie*, "Birdemic" may have gotten at least as much bang for the buck. So while in absolute terms "Birdemic" is really bad, in relative terms it might not be. 
_____________
* Sure, the visual effects were impressive, but that's pretty much the only good thing I have to say about it.


----------



## Rhonda Helms (Apr 8, 2011)

hahaha this thread is awesome. The worst movie I ever saw (that's SO BAD it's good) is Thankskilling. Holy crap, I heart this dud. Oh, and there's a Zombie Strippers movie that's also awful-tacular.


----------



## Amera (May 22, 2011)

Just going on the thread title I assumed this was going to be about Rise of Planet of the Apes. I mean...really?


----------



## Anne Victory (Jul 29, 2010)

This one was actually pretty good as long as you know what to expect. It's billed as horror, and that's how they're billing themselves. My sister-in-law and I laughed our tails off watching this. Totally awesome:






Description:


> Dawn is her chastity group's most active participant. But she discovers she has a toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence and experiences both the pitfalls and power of living the vagina dentata myth.


Yes, you read that right. "Toothed vagina." Guys may not want to watch this. The trailer is PG. The movie is most definitely not.


----------



## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

OMG I want to hunt that one down to watch! too funny!


----------



## Anne Victory (Jul 29, 2010)

BTackitt said:


> OMG I want to hunt that one down to watch! too funny!


Teeth? I actually watched it on Netflix Streaming, so if you have that I'd suggest it. Totally awesome!


----------



## swolf (Jun 21, 2010)

Arkali said:


> Yes, you read that right. "Toothed vagina." Guys may not want to watch this. The trailer is PG. The movie is most definitely not.


I saw it and thought it was pretty good. Although it uses the ominous cooling tower in the background as if it's a symbol for nuclear energy, when cooling towers are used for coal power plants also.

If you think about it, teeth down there aren't very frightening for guys, because, well, just think about it.

As far as worst movies, anything directed by Uwe Boll has to be near the top of the list. I find it hard to believe producers can look at his past films and then decide to give him money to make another one.

That bird one looks pretty bad. The cat women one looks like something I would enjoy. (My rule: If there's naked wimmen in the trailer, it's got to be good.) Also, cat women was made by Troma, which has a long history of making "movies so bad, they're good."


----------



## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Arkali said:


> > Dawn is her chastity group's most active participant.


That may be one of the better paradoxical sentences I've ever read.


----------



## Alle Meine Entchen (Dec 6, 2009)

DH has the worst taste in movies. We have a tact agreement, I'll TRY to watch, but if they're too bad, I'll leave. One of his fav movies is the Kingdom of the Spiders w/ William Shatner:


----------



## Anne Victory (Jul 29, 2010)

NogDog said:


> That may be one of the better paradoxical sentences I've ever read.


I know, right? What they _meant_ to say is that she's the leader / spokesperson for the chastity group. Said group made me want to grind my teeth together. But, yeah, as long as you don't expect to actually be scared, it's not a bad movie at all


----------



## JimC1946 (Aug 6, 2009)

JeanneM said:


> Hands down...it has to be Ed Wood's Plan 9 from Outer Space.  It is so bad...I love it so much. LOL


That may sound illogical, but those are exactly the words I would use!


----------



## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

Uwe Boll finances his own films. Originally under a German tax law that allowed he and his investors to write off the money, then with his profits. Yes, no matter how cheesy, if you make movies with a low enough budget and sell them all over the world there is money to be made.


----------



## sethdaniels (May 26, 2011)

I would put forward two strong candidates for worst movie ever.

Night Patrol - which has a baffling 55 percent freshness on rotten tomatoes. When your goal is to spoof police academy you should probably just kill yourself. One person said it best with "Utterly retarded(and I view this as an insult to the mentally impaired) 1984 comedy that manages to make "Police Academy 7" look like the work of Fellini."





and The Happening
I mean really, the plants are going on a killing spree. I get that the guy made Sixth Sense but you would think someone somewhere in the chain could have rejected this ridiculous idea.


----------



## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

So many candidates.... but because we each have our own personal "worst movie", there's no objective winner (or should that be loser?) unless someone can actually compare them.

Obviously we need a brave soul to watch a number of these in one weekend and report back on which one is _objectively _the worst.



Spoiler



I can safely suggest this because you can't draft _me_ to do it.... I don't have a TV.


----------



## rayhensley (Apr 16, 2011)

Leslie said:


> Zardoz, people, Zardoz!


Haahahahaha!


----------



## Teresa Morgan (Apr 26, 2011)

There are only two movies I wished I'd walked out on.

1. Battlefield Earth
2. Leaving Las Vegas

I did laugh my arse off at the scene in Tombstone were Kurt Russell's brother had just died and he was symbolically blaming himself by... I don't know, it looked like he was showing the townspeople the blood on his hands. It was raining and a whole bunch of people were out in the street. Don't know what they were doing there in the rain with no umbrellas. It looked like they were waiting for Kurt Russell to come out and have his angsty moment.

Then again, maybe the townspeople had gotten used to Kurt Russell's dramatic moments and they actually all piled into the street. "Hey, everyone, it's raining and KR's brother just died! I want to see him stumble through the streets with blood on his hands? Who's with me?"

Also brought us Val Kilmer's immortal line, for Doc Holliday, "I'm your huckleberry."

Yes, Val. Yes, you are.

Teresa


----------



## Alle Meine Entchen (Dec 6, 2009)

I think the absolutely worst movies that DH likes are They call me Trinity:





Don't worry if the sound doesn't seem to be synced up right, both are spaghettie westerns (meaning they were filmed in Italian and dubbed in English). I will walk out of the room when DH thinks about watching these movies and I only saw the 1st part of the 1st one b/c DH forced me to (by forced, he held me down in a playful way)


----------



## caseyf6 (Mar 28, 2010)

Logan's Run-- dd suggested it, after seeing a few bits in class.  Omigoodness.  The movie never ends.  "There is no sanctuary" has become as much a goof line for us as "No more wire hangers ever".


----------



## jhanel (Dec 22, 2010)

NogDog said:


> Speaking of budgets, while "Birdemic" is probably pretty horrible, it's a 90-minute movie made with a budget of $10,000 (according to Wikipedia and IMDB); and as that's about *0.003%* of what "Avatar" cost to produce, and based on how unimpressed I was by that movie*, "Birdemic" may have gotten at least as much bang for the buck. So while in absolute terms "Birdemic" is really bad, in relative terms it might not be.


Now THERE's a novel idea for a movie rating metric.... GOOD vs. $$$-spent. Let's call them JT's. (My initials)

"Sure it sucked, had only a one-eyed pirate driving a NYC cab for four hours,... but the budget was $50. The cost of the film."

Let's say this poor NYC Pirate movie earned a pitiful 0.01-out of-10, solely because the person rating the film liked the animated parrot at the end.

0.01 / 50 = .0002. A JT Rating of 2.

Titanic : 8-out of-10, but Cameron spent something like 3.3 million (or something like that. Don't bother correcting me. It's just an example for the sake of numbers.)

8 / 3,300,000 = .00000242. That's a JT rating of... 0.024. The NYC Cab Pirate was 100 times better than Titanic, per dollar spent.

Hmmm.. I wonder if this will metric ever take off and rule the internet?


----------



## Angela Carlie (Mar 10, 2011)

Hahaha! I love this thread. My hubs and I used to make the worst indie horror movies EVER with our friends. I cringe every time we get the VHS tapes out. That first one with the crows or whatever has some cool fx!


----------



## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

How to improve those bad films:  mystery science theatre 3000.


----------



## balaspa (Dec 27, 2009)

A bunch of the guys who used to do MST3K now do a site called RiffTrax and they did one for Birdemic.  You can find some clips on YouTube and they are hilarious.

I was going to name my upcoming horror novel (due out in October, by the way) "Teeth" until I saw that there was a movie with that name...and what it was about.  So, I had to change the name...to "Vicious."


----------



## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

T.L. Haddix said:


> I'm still stuck on NogDog *liking* Zardoz!


That makes TWO of us on the planet who have watched it multiple times... (not that I was fond of the movie, but I didn't have much choice)


----------



## JimJ (Mar 3, 2009)

Ann in Arlington said:


> How to improve those bad films: mystery science theatre 3000.


www.rifftrax.com

They do downloadable commentaries making fun of movies. They're made up of MST3k alums (Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett) and they've done a number of the movies listed in this thread, including Birdemic. Since they're just selling audio files (which you sync up to the movie), they don't have to worry about copyright issues and can do all the big budget movies that come out. They do occasionally offer video downloads of public domain stuff that they've riffed.

Or, if you're more of a Joel fan, you can try www.cinematictitanic.com. They're made up of pretty much all of the MST3k people that aren't at Rifftrax, and they do more of a MST3k style show, with silhouettes and everything. Of course that means it's all Z-grade stuff like MST3k used to have. Honestly, I haven't been too impressed with the few CT videos I've seen, but then I've always been a Mike fan.


----------



## Anne Victory (Jul 29, 2010)

T.L. Haddix said:


> I'm still stuck on NogDog *liking* Zardoz!
> 
> Oh, and the toothy va-jay-jay? It's called vagina dentata. I learned this in a film class I took a gazillion years ago in college.


Yepper. They actually touch on the actual myths and such in the movie. Like I said - I loved it, so did sis-in-law, but we laughed and howled through the whole thing. It was billed as a horror flick. Approach it as more campy and it's enjoyable. I'm going to have to look up the vagina dentata stuff though - thanks


----------



## balaspa (Dec 27, 2009)

Kingdom of the Spiders is a classic!  I remember that terrifying me as a kid.  Then again, I also remembere liking Alligator as a kid and Piranha.  So, I was easily amused as a child....and warped, apparently.  Notice how mean they are to the spiders in Kingdom of the Spiders...at one point a police car runs over a whole bunch of tarantulas...you couldn't do that these days.

I love a good bad movie, as many of you do.  Laserblast is a personal favorite.  Battlefield Earth is a movie I end up watching on TV every time I see it on because it makes me laugh so much...  Seriously, why was the camera tilted for EVERY shot in EVERY scene?


----------



## swolf (Jun 21, 2010)

Anyone here ever see Snakes on a Train?  (no, not plane)

And definite so-bad-it's-good nominee.


----------



## Holly A Hook (Sep 19, 2010)

Unfortunately, I've seen Snakes on a Plane...in the theatre.  It sure wasn't my idea to go.  But at least it was so bad it was funny.

Since I'm a tarantula enthusiast, Kingdom of the Spiders turned my stomach...because of all the spiders being run over, stepped on, and shot at.  All the species they used for the movie were harmless, and one even became endangered shortly after that.  

Also saw a movie called Drive-Thru recently, which featured a fast food mascot cross between Ronald McDonald and the Burger King murdering people.


----------



## JoeMitchell (Jun 6, 2010)

Amera said:


> Just going on the thread title I assumed this was going to be about Rise of Planet of the Apes. I mean...really?


I'm very much looking forward to seeing Rise of the Planet of the Apes. The trailer looks great. I saw all five of the original Planet of the Apes movies at an all-night drive-in movie event when I was a kid, and I loved them. I didn't like that remake they made with Marky Mark, though. They really messed that one up.

This might be the best Planet of the Apes movie yet!


----------



## DeeG (Mar 16, 2011)

Giggle. I've seen that scene.


----------

