# Is "barmaid" an okay term?



## 68564 (Mar 17, 2013)

In scifi... if a sailor arch-type goes into a bar, and orders a drink from a female... would he call that female a "barmaid" ? I do not want to be derogatory, just realistic.  I would tend towards "bartender" or even "waitress" but I am not a sailor arch-type, in fact I would guess I am more of a geek/nerd arch-type.   Thanks!


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## Shalini Boland (Nov 29, 2010)

VydorScope said:


> In scifi... if a sailor arch-type goes into a bar, and orders a drink from a female... would he call that female a "barmaid" ? I do not want to be derogatory, just realistic.  I would tend towards "bartender" or even "waitress" but I am not a sailor arch-type, in fact I would guess I am more of a geek/nerd arch-type.  Thanks!


Barmaid and barman are the words we use in the UK. Not derogatory at all


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## Just Browsing (Sep 26, 2012)

And if the woman is crazy, she could be a barmy barmaid.


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## Lydniz (May 2, 2013)

I quite happily use barmaid. I'm in the UK.

_She's a barmaid in a West Texas dancehall
She's there every night till they cloooose_


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## 68564 (Mar 17, 2013)

Huh. Is that the same in the USA? The majority of my readers are American, as I am, but I never go to bars so don't know the lingo.


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## dkgould (Feb 18, 2013)

Been called a barmaid before, lots of times, and I'm American.  I wasn't ever insulted by it.  (unless they were doing something else insulting)


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## Quiss (Aug 21, 2012)

In these parts, "barmaid" is a bit offensive. Heck, "waitress" is, too.  We commonly refer to them as "servers", which seems bizarre since it's awfully closer to "servant".  We now have "actors" and "flight attendants" - no longer actresses and stewardesses. If the role isn't confined to gender (i.e "princess"), a generic term is used. The whole thing makes "male nurse" really awkward.
In a period piece, "barmaid" works, but not in contemporary fiction. Depending on where on the planet you are, anyway.


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## Twizzlers (Feb 6, 2014)

If it's a sci-fi novel I would think it would be fine, especially if the person is a sailor and kind of crude. 
If he's really crude I guess he could say barwench.


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## Skye Ronan (Oct 31, 2013)

It depends on if it is appropriate for your world, and it sounds like it is.


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## Mip7 (Mar 3, 2013)

I prefer my barmaids buxom.


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## Callie Ray (Jan 6, 2014)

Is this some sort of retro universe? As a sci-fi reader, I would find it archaic.


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## 68564 (Mar 17, 2013)

Nashira said:


> Is this some sort of retro universe? As a sci-fi reader, I would find it archaic.


What would you expect instead?


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## jdcore (Jul 2, 2013)

Beats "serving wench."


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## Vaalingrade (Feb 19, 2013)

Huh. I didn't think 'barmaid' was the same as a 'barman' or 'bartender'. To me, a barmaid is the person who takes care customers in the common room rather than at the bar (the barman/tender's domain). I wouldn't order a drink from a barmaid, she would ask for my order. To me, 'barmaid' is the slightly less crude form of 'wench', from a time when waitress would be anachronistic.

On the other hand, my efforts to establish 'bartendress' and 'bartendtrix' have been stymied, though my attempts to popularize 'food slave' for waitstaff and 'sky slave' for flight attendants have been readily embraced by the industries, eager to apply truth in labeling laws where it applies to compensation and treatment of such vocations by said industries.


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## Holly Bush (Feb 11, 2012)

From a former bar owner - Barmaid is fine. Female version of bartender.


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## CRL (Nov 8, 2013)

Yeah, try to work the word 'wench' into it.

They like that.


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## Quiss (Aug 21, 2012)

Vaalingrade said:


> 'bartendtrix'


Well, that's it right there! Solved.


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## Lydniz (May 2, 2013)

Vaalingrade said:


> To me, a barmaid is the person who takes care customers in the common room rather than at the bar (the barman/tender's domain). I wouldn't order a drink from a barmaid, she would ask for my order.


In the UK a barmaid would stand behind the bar. Or at least, that's what I did when I was a barmaid.


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## cinisajoy (Mar 10, 2013)

Better a barmaid than a barfly.
Barmaid serves the drinks, barfly drinks the drinks.


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## DashaGLogan (Jan 30, 2014)

The person or persons (respect them if they are m,f,trans, or split-persona) whose profession it is to hand out drinks to customers from behind a bar.


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## Callie Ray (Jan 6, 2014)

VydorScope said:


> What would you expect instead?


I would expect bartender no matter the gender or species. Unless you have a specific world with entrenched gender roles or your sailor character is simply a jerk. (And then your awesome bartender puts him in his place.)


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

VydorScope said:


> In scifi... if a sailor arch-type goes into a bar, and orders a drink from a female... would he call that female a "barmaid" ? I do not want to be derogatory, just realistic.  I would tend towards "bartender" or even "waitress" but I am not a sailor arch-type, in fact I would guess I am more of a geek/nerd arch-type.  Thanks!


I just asked my husband the sailor, and he would call her a waitress.


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

The question I asked him was:

"What do you call the woman who takes your order in a bar?"


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## dkgould (Feb 18, 2013)

EelKat said:


> Around here, (Maine) calling a female a "bartender" is seen as horribly derogatory and offensive, because it is seen as you saying she isn't good (pretty/sexy) enough to be working in front of customers. It's basically the same as if you said she looked like a dog faced boy who just rolled out of the Dumpster and couldn't pass for a female not even with all the plastic surgery in the world.
> 
> So, yeah, probably a regional thing, but female readers from Maine will be highly offended at a female being called a bartender because bartenders are men, barmaids are women, and you just don't tell a woman she looks like a man any more than you tell a man he looks like a woman.


lol must be really, really regional then or else we didn't know we were being insulted. I was a bartender for over a decade in Waterville along with some very attractive other ladies and both terms were used interchangeably.


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## Tim_A (May 25, 2013)

Barmaid or barman, for sure. I've never heard bartender used outside of American TV.


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## Wayne Stinnett (Feb 5, 2014)

Barmaid's a step up from Galley Wench, a term I use quite regularly.  

But, then again, I'm sort of a Neanderthal.


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## Jena H (Oct 2, 2011)

Holly Bush said:


> From a former bar owner - Barmaid is fine. Female version of bartender.


I'm at a loss to figure out why bartender needs a "female version," as the word itself is gender neutral. 

In any case, my answer to the OP is.... if it's a sci-fi outer-space thing, there's nothing wrong with barmaid, or serving wench, or whatever. It's your world, after all. But in the real world, in a real bar... the person behind the bar is the bartender, and the people who carry trays to tables are either waiter/waitresses or servers. (I don't find waiter/waitress to be insulting or derogatory, but if that bothers some people, server is good too.) Oh, and I'm in the US too, eastern section, since w seem to be taking a census.


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## David Peterson (Feb 8, 2014)

EelKat said:


> The barmaid is the accepted term in Northern New England


That's interesting.

I've lived in Texas most of my life, but I've spent a lot of time on the road, mostly in the Midwest, and I've never heard the term barmaid unless it was at a theme restaurant or something like that. Anyone working behind the bar in Texas is a bartender and women serving the tables are either waitresses or servers (they are interchangeable although server is probably more common now).

I've never heard anyone referred to as a barman in everyday life.


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## 68564 (Mar 17, 2013)

So if my space station is in New England, or over in the UK, she is a barmaid. If its in Texas or the midwest she is a waitress or server.  Well golly, maybe I should just call her Sally!


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## Callie Ray (Jan 6, 2014)

VydorScope said:


> So if my space station is in New England, or over in the UK, she is a barmaid. If its in Texas or the midwest she is a waitress or server. Well golly, maybe I should just call her Sally!


It seems whatever you use someone will be offended. So do what you like!


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## cinisajoy (Mar 10, 2013)

VydorScope said:


> So if my space station is in New England, or over in the UK, she is a barmaid. If its in Texas or the midwest she is a waitress or server. Well golly, maybe I should just call her Sally!


is she making the drinks or just serving them? If she is making them then it would be barmaid or bartender. Waitresses only serve the drinks. ( I used to be a bar wench).


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

I don't understand. Why would there be a female specific term for a bartender since bartender is gender neutral? I have never heard a bartender called anything but a bartender. *puzzles*

ETA: Ok, I've heard them called barkeep but only in jest.


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

JRTomlin said:


> I don't understand. Why would there be a female specific term for a bartender since bartender is gender neutral? I have never heard a bartender called anything but a bartender. *puzzles*


Same here. I'm guessing it's a regional thing.

My bar days all happened in California in the 1980s, for what it's worth.


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## Christopher Bunn (Oct 26, 2010)

For a moment there, I thought you were asking about some kind of musical cousin of FarmAid (the one with Willie Nelson and all).


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## Lyoung (Oct 21, 2013)

I wouldn't be offended by the term "barmaid," but it does make me think of pirates for some reason? Or a term I'd hear in the Firefly-verse?


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## CarlSinclair (Apr 7, 2013)

Of course. It's a normal word. If anyone took offence to it I would ignore them.


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## zoe tate (Dec 18, 2013)

In most of the English-speaking world, there's nothing derogatory at all about using the word "barmaid" - nor about being one.

I think the word "bartender" is more or less US-only (or possibly Canada, too?). But it still wouldn't necessarily sound alien to people from other English-speaking countries who are used to reading US-published books.


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## Mark E. Cooper (May 29, 2011)

You could go back in time a bit and use keep or tender as in barkeep or bartender. I seem to recall in star wars the use of barkeep. I might be misremembering that.


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## JaroldWilliams (Jan 9, 2014)

For a drunken sailor...barmaid is a benign term. They may even use the term _wench_, or even less flattering words.


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## 68564 (Mar 17, 2013)

He is not drunk yet, he just walked into the bar...


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## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)

If she's a pro, and good at her job, then the propper term is barslut.


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## 68564 (Mar 17, 2013)

vrabinec said:


> If she's a pro, and good at her job, then the propper term is barslut.


I hope you are good at ducking.


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## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)

Actually,  that term works for any gender.


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## cinisajoy (Mar 10, 2013)

vrabinec said:


> If she's a pro, and good at her job, then the propper term is barslut.


Note to all barsluts, watch out for Fred. He is cheap and smells funny.


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## Rob Lopez (Jun 19, 2012)

If it's a sailor archetype (rough, blue collar, no frills type) then they're unlikely to say, "Bartender/barmaid/server, can I have a drink?"

More likely it would be, "Jar of ale, love," or "Giz a drink, I'm parched" or even "I'll have some of that right there." And if you're lucky, they might even say 'please'.

And if it's in a conversation with someone else, where the barmaid/tender is being referred to, it would be: "The girl behind the bar said..."

Now, if it's a Texas space station with a Californian sailor... well then, you're on your own.


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## 69959 (May 14, 2013)

Lydia Young said:


> I wouldn't be offended by the term "barmaid," but it does make me think of pirates for some reason? Or a term I'd hear in the Firefly-verse?


I thought of pirates as well!


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## Rykymus (Dec 3, 2011)

Words only have the power that people give them. Use what you like, and don't worry too much about offending someone else. No matter what word you use, there will be someone who will think that you should have used a different one. You are the writer, people pay to read what YOU write. If you're going to get all PC when writing fiction, might as well let an algorithm write the sentences, because that's about how much flavor will be in them.

No, I don't have a strong opinion on this.


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## 68564 (Mar 17, 2013)

So while there is truth in the "don't try to be PC everyone is offended by something - just write whatever" - that is not really the point of my original question.  I was trying to determine if that was the right word for a sailor-arch-type to use of a woman bringing him his drinks in a bar. I don't go to bars, and I am not a sailor, so I had no basis for answering it.  

Based on this thread, barmaid is a valid option at least.


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## Ian Marks (Jan 22, 2012)

I prefer _wench_, but I think _barmaid_ is fine.


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## Wayne Stinnett (Feb 5, 2014)

VydorScope said:


> So while there is truth in the "don't try to be PC everyone is offended by something - just write whatever" - that is not really the point of my original question.  I was trying to determine if that was the right word for a sailor-arch-type to use of a woman bringing him his drinks in a bar. I don't go to bars, and I am not a sailor, so I had no basis for answering it.
> 
> Based on this thread, barmaid is a valid option at least.


I'm a drinker, a sailor, and former skirt chaser. Barmaid is fine, especially in bars with a nautical theme and less than reputable clientele.


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## Tim_A (May 25, 2013)

If it were pirates, I'm sure the word Scurvy would be in there somewhere. And Brizzle accents, me hearties, arrr....


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## AJC (Feb 17, 2014)

yes


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