# Rant: Men who stay up all night...playing video games!!



## MAGreen (Jan 5, 2009)

Last night I was feeling a bit needy and tired, so I decided to go to bed early, about 8:30, and told my husband to come cuddle me when he came to bed. Well, after showering, teeth brushing, and reading, I finally fell asleep around 10:00. When I woke up, it was obvious that hubby never made it to bed, but since the sun wasn't up I figured it was still night, and I had just woken early. I was part right, it was early...morning. 5:00 AM to be exact. I got up and checked on the kids, who hubby had tucked in properly (although I have no idea when he tucked them in) then I snuck downstairs to find him sitting on the couch happily engrossed with a video game he had gotten for Christmas. He just opened it last night and started the game just as I went to bed. I also noticed the empty bag of M&M's sitting in front of him, which means he gave himself caffine to stay awake so he could play more! Around 6:30 he got up and staggered off to bed. So much for having a family outing today! 
The worst part was when he looked up and noticed me standing there and thanked me for the game!!! Grrrrr!


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## swolf (Jun 21, 2010)

Been there, done that, got the look.


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## geoffthomas (Feb 27, 2009)

Oh my.
How long have you been married?
And you did not know that he was a computer game-a-holic?
I am sorry.  I don't do this.  But I know people who do.
And I know you should never feed their "addiction".

I hope you know I am having fun with you.
I guess you need to tell him that he should limit his playing time and spend more time with you.
Some of us guys don't really get "subtle".
We really like to be told exactly what we need to do.

Just sayin......


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## Thayerphotos (Dec 19, 2010)

It's only video games until we're sure you're asleep.  Then it's something else.  Then it's back to video games.


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## MAGreen (Jan 5, 2009)

LOL. He's actually a great husband and only does this once in a great long while. He works really hard, so when he has a long weekend he likes to enjoy his down time. If I weren't pregnant and tired and achy I might have even stayed up with him...it wouldn't be the first time!


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## Annalog (Dec 28, 2008)

I am usually the culprit in our household.  However, according to DH, I have not stayed up much past 2 AM. Also, my various "addictions" usually last just a few weeks at a time. Recently I have been playing Zelda on the Wii again.   After more than 37 years of marriage, DH knows "subtle" does not work with me when I am on the computer, playing video games, working on craft projects, reading, etc. ("Dear, did you realize that it is after midnight?" Wait for answer... "I am going to sleep. Remember you have to go to work in the morning.")


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

I got my DH hooked on EverQuest just so he would stop bugging me about the time I spent on it. We played together for more than 6 years. 
Then we both just kinda gave up on it about the same time, I had been playing it for almost 8 years at that point, and was just tired of it. He played for about another month, keeping me up with what was going on with our friends, but.. he finally quit too.


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## D. Nathan Hilliard (Jun 5, 2010)

I've been guilty of that one. Before I got the computer, I didn't realize how seriously my wife took her cuddle time.


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## kim (Nov 20, 2008)

ummm...  It's not only men who are guilty of this   

My daughter just rolls her eyes when I head for the computer game


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## gina1230 (Nov 29, 2009)

I'm guilty of doing that to my husband, except I'm engrossed in a book instead of a video game.  I feel bad about it, but it's such a peaceful time when the phones aren't ringing, kiddos aren't interrupting, and you finally get some quiet time just for yourself.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

I don't have kids so maybe it's different when there are young'uns to herd around ...  but my partner and I have done this to each other on occasion over the years.  Since it doesn't happen that often, I don't sweat it.  I just let him(me) have his(my) fun and sleep through the following day.


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## Sean Sweeney (Apr 17, 2010)

Video games... disgusting. I wouldn't blame him if it was an engrossing book on his Kindle. But a video game? Ugh.


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## CS (Nov 3, 2008)

You've gotten a lot of sympathetic replies, MAGreen. Don't expect one from me. 

*You* bought him the game for Christmas. Now you're complaining that he's enjoying his present?! AND you're upset that he thanked you Wow! Some women people are impossible to please! 

My advice, and I mean this sincerely and lovingly, my dear: stop being such a nag and let the man have his space and personal hobbies.

Have you ever stopped to consider *why* he waited until you went to bed early to pull this all-nighter? Maybe if you were more supportive, he'd game more moderately during waking hours and thus not "spoil" your planned family outings the next day.

My sincerest apologies if I sound unduly harsh, but really, you're being kind of unfair.

Just some food for thought.

BTW, John Fitch V, your response was extremely ignorant. Video games are "disgusting"?! Did John Fitches I-IV pass this flawed viewpoint onto you? I really hope you were joking, but if you were somehow serious, please do elaborate. This I gotta hear...


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## Alice Y. Yeh (Jul 14, 2010)

As I woman, I too have been guilty of the video game all-nighter. While some might be truly offended by this, depending on the tame, it could be as enthralling as a novel in that there is a story to draw you in. Otherwise, it appeals to one's competitive streak when you just HAVE to pass that next level. Call it either imagination ro the need to achieve -- either way, it's understandable, though knowing the needs of your pregnant wife would probably be more helpful to you in the long run


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## MAGreen (Jan 5, 2009)

Hey CS? First off, how did I nag anyone? Second, if you read the second post I made, you would see that I am very supportive of my husband and all of his hobbies! In fact we had played games together ever since he had gotten home from work, so it's not like I don't let him play them. So yeah, I think you were a little harsh. And the planned outing...was his idea in the first place!


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## Scheherazade (Apr 11, 2009)

I have to agree that some video games can be just as engrossing as a book.  Take a look at games like Mass Effect and Dragon Age.  Both have pretty deep storylines where you actually drive the direction of your experience and you can sit down to play and look up and the sun is coming out.  So I wouldn't call it a disgusting hobby.  Games won't replace books, but they can be just as enthralling at times when good storytelling is behind the flashy graphics.


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## CS (Nov 3, 2008)

MAGreen said:


> Hey CS? First off, how did I nag anyone? Second, if you read the second post I made, you would see that I am very supportive of my husband and all of his hobbies! In fact we had played games together ever since he had gotten home from work, so it's not like I don't let him play them. So yeah, I think you were a little harsh. And the planned outing...was his idea in the first place!


I'm sorry if you thought I was harsh, but surely you can understand why I thought it was unfair for you to get angry with your husband because he played with your gift and then thanked you for it. Seemed like a damned if you, damned if you don't sort of thing to me.

As for the outing, I can understand your disappointment that plans were changed, but sometimes people just need to be "lazy" and eat M&M's and play Mario all night.


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## MAGreen (Jan 5, 2009)

If I had been angry about it and taken it out on him, yes, I could understand that. I was never angry about it, mildly annoyed, maybe. Amused at his antics, totally! And his "thank you" was said with the sheepishness of realizing that it was morning already and he had played through the night. There is a bit of concern involved in waking at 5AM to find your spouse never made it bed. Not to mention I am pregnant, which is at least half his fault and I am allowed to be a little irrational if I feel like it!


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## CS (Nov 3, 2008)

MAGreen said:


> Not to mention I am pregnant, which is at least half his fault and I am allowed to be a little irrational if I feel like it!


LMAO. I can't argue with this!


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## Alain Gomez (Nov 12, 2010)

MAGreen said:


> Last night I was feeling a bit needy and tired, so I decided to go to bed early, about 8:30, and told my husband to come cuddle me when he came to bed. Well, after showering, teeth brushing, and reading, I finally fell asleep around 10:00. When I woke up, it was obvious that hubby never made it to bed, but since the sun wasn't up I figured it was still night, and I had just woken early. I was part right, it was early...morning. 5:00 AM to be exact. I got up and checked on the kids, who hubby had tucked in properly (although I have no idea when he tucked them in) then I snuck downstairs to find him sitting on the couch happily engrossed with a video game he had gotten for Christmas. He just opened it last night and started the game just as I went to bed. I also noticed the empty bag of M&M's sitting in front of him, which means he gave himself caffine to stay awake so he could play more! Around 6:30 he got up and staggered off to bed. So much for having a family outing today!
> The worst part was when he looked up and noticed me standing there and thanked me for the game!!! Grrrrr!


Hahaha! Oh dear. I'm not married but I have been dating my current gamer boyfriend for almost two years (plus we where friends before that). I suggest reading this:

http://www.amazon.com/Girls-Guide-Dating-Geek/dp/1435713184/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1295170356&sr=8-1

If nothing else, the book will provide some much needed laughter-induced tears. 

There have been many instances where my BF will be gone for days playing at a LAN party. Fortunately, I'm something of a gamer myself. So while I never game to the point that it affects crucial things such a hygiene, I am at least very understanding of "being in the zone."

There's also a certain sense of comfort a girl can derive from dating a gamer. While some girls may have to deal with the stress of what their man is up to when they don't answer their phone for hours, I never have that issue. When he returns to me with an almost full beard, in the same clothes I last saw him in and wreaking of sweat and red bull... it's a pretty good indicator as to what he's been doing.


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## 908tracy (Dec 15, 2009)

MAGreen,

My first thought upon reading this was...He is conditioning himself for those upcoming overnight feedings/diaper changes....so you can sleep!


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## metal134 (Sep 2, 2010)

John Fitch V said:


> Video games... disgusting.


What complete and utter bullcrap.


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## CS (Nov 3, 2008)

metal134 said:


> What complete and utter bullcrap.


Yep! Still waiting for Number V to explain his ludicrous statement.


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## MAGreen (Jan 5, 2009)

908tracy said:


> MAGreen,
> 
> My first thought upon reading this was...He is conditioning himself for those upcoming overnight feedings/diaper changes....so you can sleep!


Now that would be lovely!


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## Thumper (Feb 26, 2009)

The Spouse Thingy and I are such opposite schedules that him being up all night is the norm...he kills his time playing World of Warcraft. I don't mind...if I want him in bed, he'll drop everything and be there, even if it's just to watch a little TV with me. Mostly, though, after 30 years together, I'm REALLY grateful for things like WoW and Facebook. I get a lot more sleep now


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## metal134 (Sep 2, 2010)

Where the hell are you women in my town?  The women I meet, and the one my friends are with, are the whipping kind.


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

I've definitely stayed up waaay too late playing video games before, but so has the bf, so it all evens out. I don't mind falling asleep without him, although I like if he's in the same room at least (with headphones on!).


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## Dankinia (Jun 20, 2009)

I am currently single, but when I was attached I was the guilty party most of the time.  I admit I am a geek.  I can spend hours playing games with on my Xbox and the go curl up on the couch with a good book/Kindle for a few more hours after that.  Now that I think about it, maybe that is why I am single.


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## Reyn (Feb 10, 2009)

I am the guilty one in our house.  He goes to bed early and I stay up to 2am.  It is the only time in our house that is completely quiet.  I do anything from facebook, kindleboards, reading, homework, to occasionally cleaning house.  That is my "me time."  He understands and just deals with it.


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## Sean Sweeney (Apr 17, 2010)

CS said:


> BTW, John Fitch V, your response was extremely ignorant. Video games are "disgusting"?! Did John Fitches I-IV pass this flawed viewpoint onto you? I really hope you were joking, but if you were somehow serious, please do elaborate. This I gotta hear...


I was not joking. Why would I joke about something that is dumbing down America's youth? Video games offer no educational value. They don't exercise one's mind, like a book does. All they do is stagnate the mind.

Also, let's look at the economics of it. One video game costs something like $50. How many books can one purchase with that money? Two hardcovers, or six paperbacks, or 50 .99 cent Kindle books. Books are NEVER outdated, unlike a video game that is considered outdated a week after its release.

I despise video games, and I'll never have them in my house.


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## CS (Nov 3, 2008)

John Fitch V said:


> I was not joking. Why would I joke about something that is dumbing down America's youth? Video games offer no educational value. They don't exercise one's mind, like a book does. All they do is stagnate the mind.


This is incorrect and ignorant. There are many educational video games. Do your research.



> Also, let's look at the economics of it. One video game costs something like $50. How many books can one purchase with that money? Two hardcovers, or six paperbacks, or 50 .99 cent Kindle books.


http://www.cheapassgamer.com

I never pay $50 for a game. If you're patient enough, you can score games for dirt cheap.

In any case, comparing the pricing of two completely different mediums is illogical.



> Books are NEVER outdated, unlike a video game that is considered outdated a week after its release.


Yes and no. I'll grant you that this is indeed the case for many games, but the true classics - like Pac-Man - have stood the test of time after 30 years.



> I despise video games, and I'll never have them in my house.


A shame and your loss (and your kids' losses if you have any) because your hatred is based on faulty, flimsy reasoning instead of actual facts.


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## Scheherazade (Apr 11, 2009)

Video games -do- exercise the mind. In fact, studies have shown that gamers learn to use more of their brain than non-gamers. Here's a good article from Discover Magazine - http://discovermagazine.com/2007/brain/video-games about a professor who did a study on games after discovering that while playing one with his children he "hadn't done that kind of new learning since graduate school. You know, as you get older, you kind of rest on your laurels." I can find plenty of other articles along similar lines if you really want me to. Games are constantly challenging your mind and introducing you to new concepts, new ideologies, new cultures and new experiences.

I am a History major because of gaming. I learned to do research and have a thirst for knowledge about the ancient world because of video games. My hand eye coordination and problem solving skills have been enhanced because of gaming. I am able to multi-task better because of gaming. My typing speed, grammar and punctuation as well as my creativity and skill at writing can all be traced back to me playing games. To say games do not teach is ludicrous.

I have learned workplace social skills, organizational skills, and leadership skills while gaming... I have learned how to set goals for myself and work toward them, I have learned not only time management but also resource management and how to deal calmly with stressful situations. Books can do a lot for you, but there is a challenge in gaming that you just can't get from a book. Books challenge your mind, yes, but how often do you actually make decisions while reading them that will affect the story and teach you a lesson by your successes or failures?

I also read a lot and have since I was a child, but to be perfectly honest I spend much more time gaming. I have played games since I can remember and I do not regret it at all. I have even attained managerial positions at jobs I've applied for due to my love of games. I am the lead content producer (mostly creative but also technical) for a major online gaming corporation and have been for the last ten years. I do it for almost no money during my free time due to my love of the game and the genre, but you know what? It looks pretty d*mn good on a resume.

And all of these things I've learned haven't even come from the many games out there that are out developed solely -to- be educational. I don't play these games so I cannot really elaborate on them, but seeing what I've learned just from the entertaining ones I have to wonder how much more I may have learned if I had. Then there are games like Zeus, Cleopatra, Poseidon and a host of others that seamlessly interject information into the game play. Games like Sid Meier's Civilization help you understand complex social structures and world diplomacy for crying out loud. Even World of Warcraft inspires and teaches people things both through their experiences with other players as well as clever content provided through the game world itself.

I am not sure it's even worth addressing the other points. Cigarettes cost a lot and they aren't teaching people anything. Movies cost a lot when you compare them to books. Why pay $10 in the theater or $30 to sit at home and watch something for 2 hours when you can enjoy a book for much longer? Then again, how long does it take you to read most books? Right now I am playing Mass Effect, a game I bought for $20, and I have barely scratched the surface of an amazing SciFi story after 8 hours of playing it. The dialogue and storyline is on par (in fact surpasses) many books I've read. Is it different because I am reading the story and experiencing it through an interactive world instead of off the screen of my Kindle? It's still text (though most is spoken in this case with optional subtitles), but they are still words and ideas that create an imaginative and deep story.

As far as games being outdated, outdated is an awfully subjective thing to try to apply to an entire medium. Tetris was created in 1984 and people are still playing it and basing other games off of it today. Some are old classics that people still love to play like Pacman which was already mentioned. Then there are games like Zork which was first released in 1977 that people -still- play despite it being nothing but text... no shiny graphics there. The company I work for has had the same game on the market since 1988. Yes it has grown and new content has been added, but the same basic game play has been there for the last 23 years. Games like King's Quest, Zelda, Final Fantasy, Wild Arms, Dragon Quest, Lufia... all of them have games so old they don't even work on current systems, yet people still seek out and find ways to play them.

So fine, don't play video games and attempt to keep your kids from playing them, but don't try to make us sound like idiots for playing them ourselves. Those comments aren't just insulting to the people who play them, but they are also insulting to the talented writers and developers who create them. Games have just as much to offer as any other medium out there... in fact, I think video games and books are pretty much peas in the same pod. You can argue that Mortal Kombat doesn't have much going for it (and you'd be wrong, even that probably has some redeemable qualities to it) but until you lose yourself in a game like Grim Fandango, take a course on the lore and history of Azeroth, endure the complex relationships of the characters in Mass Effect or Dragon Age, witness the expansive worlds of Final Fantasy, or even just get yourself eaten by a grue in a dark attic... until you've done any of that you cannot say books are better than video games. If anything they are two sides of the same literary coin.


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

There are some games that are pretty much like reading a book...Lost Odyssey and Eternal Sonata come to mind, where they're full of short stories where you just take a break from the game and sit and read for a bit. I've learned a lot from video games - how to build characters, create a vibrant world, etc. I find some games much more engaging than books because you actually act out being one of the characters and are so completely immersed in the story.

Plus I really bonded with my sister over video games because we look back and _still_ laugh about some of the characters and stories we experienced together. And then there are exercise video games that get people off their couches and really working hard, like DDR. As for the price, you have to look at how much time you can get out of the game. Story-based games (RPGs) often offer something like 40 hours of gameplay. I get through the average book in 5-6 hours. I also typically don't spend more than $20 on a video game, and then I resell it when I'm done with it.

Truly great games never get outdated. I routinely play games that were made 10 years ago or more. I totally agree that some games are totally mind-numbingly terrible and huge time-wasters, but there are some amazing games out there.


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## s0nicfreak (Jun 10, 2010)

CS said:


> I never pay $50 for a game. If you're patient enough, you can score games for dirt cheap.


And actually just as there are many indie books that cost $1 - $5, there are many indie games that cost $1 - $5. In fact, knowing how much work goes into both a game and a book, I often think some games are _under priced_ when compared to some books of the same price.


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## Alain Gomez (Nov 12, 2010)

It's very true that games teach you things.  Growing up, my parents only let me play "educational games" (yes, that is a genre).  But I learned all sorts of things playing games like Mathblaster, Treasure Island, Gizmos and Gagets... the list goes on.  Basic math skills, logic and deduction, basic science, puzzle solving, strategy, etc.

I actually credit my understanding of money and investments to SimCity 2000.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Alain Gomez said:


> I actually credit my understanding of money and investments to SimCity 2000.


When my son was in 8th grade -- 1996-7 -- they had a 'club' at school that played SimCity and eventually competed in a "Future City" competition run by the National Association of Civil Engineers (I think). The idea was to use the game to build the most viable city they could. THEN. . . .under the guidance of an engineer, figure out if it could work in real life and build a scale model of how you envisioned it. In the final competition, you had to make a presentation that included information about basic city functions like plumbing/sewer/transportation, etc.

My son's group won the school, and then regional competition and got a trip to DC for the national competition. Not a big deal as we live in Arlington. . .but it was great fun for the kids. And they all learned a lot. . . .one girl who was really shy had to learn do public speaking because the rule was that all the group members had to have a part in the presentation. They also had to be able to talk about various engineering concepts as well as city management issues.

Mostly, they all learned how to cooperate and compromise to get something done. . .they remained good friends through HS and even now they're all out of college.

All because of a computer game.


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## Alain Gomez (Nov 12, 2010)

Ann in Arlington said:


> When my son was in 8th grade -- 1996-7 -- they had a 'club' at school that played SimCity and eventually competed in a "Future City" competition run by the National Association of Civil Engineers (I think). The idea was to use the game to build the most viable city they could. THEN. . . .under the guidance of an engineer, figure out if it could work in real life and build a scale model of how you envisioned it. In the final competition, you had to make a presentation that included information about basic city functions like plumbing/sewer/transportation, etc.
> 
> My son's group won the school, and then regional competition and got a trip to DC for the national competition. Not a big deal as we live in Arlington. . .but it was great fun for the kids. And they all learned a lot. . . .one girl who was really shy had to learn do public speaking because the rule was that all the group members had to have a part in the presentation. They also had to be able to talk about various engineering concepts as well as city management issues.
> 
> ...


Wow! I wish MY SimCity 2000 time had paid off like that.

At my old middle school the teacher used to have small competitions. First to get mayor's house. First to get a city hall. Things like that. That game has a special place in my heart because it was my first love. I had played computer games regularly before, but SimCity 2000 was the first to keep me awake into the wee hours.


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## metal134 (Sep 2, 2010)

John Fitch V said:


> I was not joking. Why would I joke about something that is dumbing down America's youth? Video games offer no educational value. They don't exercise one's mind, like a book does. All they do is stagnate the mind.
> 
> Also, let's look at the economics of it. One video game costs something like $50. How many books can one purchase with that money? Two hardcovers, or six paperbacks, or 50 .99 cent Kindle books. Books are NEVER outdated, unlike a video game that is considered outdated a week after its release.
> 
> I despise video games, and I'll never have them in my house.


Once again, complete and utter bullcrap. I hear this kind of nonsense all the time about video games, heavy metal and tattoos (all of which I PROUDLY PROUDLY endorse). How such ignorance can still exist in this day and age is beyond me.


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

That program sounds like so much fun, Ann!!

Today in class we were learning about feedback loops and models to describe some different economic things, then the professor related it to the effect of an infectious virus being introduced into the population...has anyone played Pandemic? Suddenly everything made so much more sense when I remembered all the feedback loops and population reactions you have to deal with in that game. I doubt it was meant to be educational, but I certainly learned something from it!

(The game is online if anyone's interested, just google "Pandemic 2")


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## Jay. (Jan 1, 2011)

Jessica Billings said:


> That program sounds like so much fun, Ann!!
> 
> Today in class we were learning about feedback loops and models to describe some different economic things, then the professor related it to the effect of an infectious virus being introduced into the population...has anyone played Pandemic? Suddenly everything made so much more sense when I remembered all the feedback loops and population reactions you have to deal with in that game. I doubt it was meant to be educational, but I certainly learned something from it!
> 
> (The game is online if anyone's interested, just google "Pandemic 2")


I just googled it Jessica. It reminds me of a really old game I once played called Syndicate.

http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&rlz=1G1ACGW_ENUS394&q=syndicate+wars&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&ei=aDk2Td_zCYW8sQP9vO3qAQ&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=2&ved=0CDMQsAQwAQ&biw=904&bih=495

jay.


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## Vegas_Asian (Nov 2, 2008)

I credit videogaming in helping maintain some long distance friendships. My brother and k are military brats. He games via xbox live with friends from elementary that live across country. I play tetris online versus my friend in Florida while skyping with her.


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## TheRiddler (Nov 11, 2010)

Dankinia said:


> I am currently single, but when I was attached I was the guilty party most of the time. I admit I am a geek. I can spend hours playing games with on my Xbox and the go curl up on the couch with a good book/Kindle for a few more hours after that. Now that I think about it, maybe that is why I am single.


Sigh....if only I wasn't married... ;-)

Nothing wrong with video games. Like books, not all video games are created equally, but a book isn't 'worthy' just for being a book. There are some downright awful books out there!

Everything in moderation....


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## CathyQuinn (Dec 9, 2010)

My husband stays up late every night --  game time is higher on his priority list than sleep.


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## Alain Gomez (Nov 12, 2010)

CathyQuinn said:


> My husband stays up late every night -- game time is higher on his priority list than sleep.


Lol. Well the world is not going to save itself. Someone's gotta do it.


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## CathyQuinn (Dec 9, 2010)

Alain Gomez said:


> Lol. Well the world is not going to save itself. Someone's gotta do it.


Oh, absolutely... Eve Online... saving entire galaxies...


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## sal (Aug 4, 2009)

I used to do this... then I switched to Guitars.  

I can only solve one puzzle at a time anyway, and I'm still stuck on this one called 'Girls.'

Sal


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## Christopher Bunn (Oct 26, 2010)

Playing video games all night? Sounds like an awesome idea. Not sure how my wife'll react, but I'll just buy her off with a giftcard for Michael's. Pre-emptive giftcard strike.


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## MAGreen (Jan 5, 2009)

I like how you think.


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