# Am I Too Much of a Softie?



## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

Here's the deal: I'm getting my kitty neutered next week, and I'm having serious anxiety about it.  He's my first pet, and I've never had to deal with this kind of thing before...maybe I'm overthinking, or maybe I'm just too much of a softie, but I'm feeling really guilty about it.  Can you share your own pet neutering thoughts/stories with me?  I know it's probably for the best to get him fixed, but I can't help feeling it's kind of cruel...would appreciate some feedback.  
-Jane-


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

I have had pets over the years, and I hate to intentionally inflict pain.  
But in the end I realized I was doing my pet a favor.  There were never
complications.
deb


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

I've had pet surgeries ranging from neutering to tumor removal.  I agree with drenee in not wanting to cause pain and I feel bad knowing they don't really understand why they are sore or why they have that awful collar on ... but I also know I'm doing what's best for them in the long run and that I am preventing future, unnecessary trauma.


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## Sienna_98 (Jan 26, 2009)

Your vet should give you pain medication when you get your pet back from surgery.  If s/he doesn't then you can certainly ask for it.  There's no reason your pet should be in any unnecessary pain. 

Personally, I always feel worse about the e-collar than the actual surgery, but I now own a "soft" e-collar that works just as well, but isn't the hard plastic that causes them to bump into things and jar around their neck.

Trust me, it's much better to get the neutering done now than it is to get upset with the cat later when it's yowling/spraying, etc due to hormones.


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## Annalog (Dec 28, 2008)

I agree with the others. Much better to get the neutering done now than later. In the 35 years that DH and I have had our pets (cats and dogs) neutered or spayed, it has seemed to be either the post-anesthesia confusion or the collars that bothered them the most. It also seems as if the techniques and medications available to vets today are much less stressful for the animals than what was available many years ago. This year we adopted a young female cat from the local shelter. We received her after she came out of anesthesia  the day she was spayed. She did not seem to be in any pain and did not need a collar. We were very surprised and happy for her.


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## Pawz4me (Feb 14, 2009)

IME -- If he's a relatively young kitty, then he'll come home and you'll watch him and seriously wonder if the vet actually did anything.  It's really unbelievably how little pain most young cats and dogs seem to have from a neuter.


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## RavenclawPrefect (May 4, 2009)

Your kitty will be a much happier and healthier kitty in the end for being neutered.  We have had dogs and cats for almost 25 years and all were spayed or neutered.  There seemed to be minimal discomfort after the fact. 

You can also talk over your concerns with your vet, he/she would be able to fully answer any questions or concerns you may have about it.


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## 4Katie (Jun 27, 2009)

It's actually really good for the cat - he'll be happier and better behaved.

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/what-are-the-benefits-of-cat-neutering.html


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## Andra (Nov 19, 2008)

As the others have said, my kiddos didn't really seem to notice any pain once they were home from their surgeries.  And it's very important that you take care of this so you don't end up with (or cause someone to end up with) kittens.  There are way too many strays and unwanted kitties around.


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## Annalog (Dec 28, 2008)

Pawz4me said:


> IME -- If he's a relatively young kitty, then he'll come home and you'll watch him and seriously wonder if the vet actually did anything. It's really unbelievably how little pain most young cats and dogs seem to have from a neuter.


That is what we thought with our most recent young cat. If it had not been for the stitches, we would have wondered if she had actually been spayed.


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## rla1996 (Oct 28, 2008)

I've always thought that leaving a pet unspayed/neutered was worse than getting them fixed.  It opens them up for so many more health problems, and there are so many homeless pets out there that I've always believed that my pets didn't need to be adding to the over population problem.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Sienna_98 said:


> Your vet should give you pain medication when you get your pet back from surgery. If s/he doesn't then you can certainly ask for it....


When I started reading this, my initial thought was that you were recommending pain meds for the pet owner, not the pet -- which in a way might not be a bad idea.  

PS: I wholeheartedly agree that the benefits both for your pet and for future non-generations far outweigh the temporary mental and physical discomfort (for both of you). Noggin was neutered by the orphanage before I adopted him, so I didn't have to deal with it directly, but he's now lived to a ripe old age of 11 and is still a happy, active dog. (For a 60-pound mutt that's about 70-75 years old for you and me.) I did have to deal with a tumor removal (non-malignant, fortunately) last year, and he was a bit mopey for maybe 3 days afterward, but within a week he was back to normal, and I had to make sure he didn't jump around too much until we got his stitches out.


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

drenee said:


> I have had pets over the years, and I hate to intentionally inflict pain.
> But in the end I realized I was doing my pet a favor. There were never
> complications.
> deb


Thanks so much for your words, Deb. I feel slightly comforted now! Though I am worried that my kitty will be mad at me for a while, LOL.
-Jane-


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

Geoffrey said:


> I've had pet surgeries ranging from neutering to tumor removal. I agree with drenee in not wanting to cause pain and I feel bad knowing they don't really understand why they are sore or why they have that awful collar on ... but I also know I'm doing what's best for them in the long run and that I am preventing future, unnecessary trauma.


Thank you so much for that, Geoffrey. I've only had my kitty for about 2.5 months, so I'm super-protective of him and worry about everything! But I know it's for the best to get him neutered. I appreciate your comment.
-Jane-


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## angelad (Jun 19, 2009)

Not getting our kittie neutered. It affects them way too much hormonally, really messes with their system. Just going to give her a safer shot for the same purpose.


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

Sienna_98 said:


> Personally, I always feel worse about the e-collar than the actual surgery, but I now own a "soft" e-collar that works just as well, but isn't the hard plastic that causes them to bump into things and jar around their neck.


Sienna--thank you! I'm feeling better and better about this (though I'm sure on the day of the surgery, I'll be biting my nails all day!). I confess, I'm ignorant as to what an "e-collar" is...I suppose I could google it!  I still have a lot to learn about having a cat.


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

Glad we could be of help, Jane.  
You can always come back and talk
to us during the procedure, and time
following.  Your KB friends will always
be here for support.  
deb


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

Annalog said:


> I agree with the others. Much better to get the neutering done now than later. In the 35 years that DH and I have had our pets (cats and dogs) neutered or spayed, it has seemed to be either the post-anesthesia confusion or the collars that bothered them the most. It also seems as if the techniques and medications available to vets today are much less stressful for the animals than what was available many years ago. This year we adopted a young female cat from the local shelter. We received her after she came out of anesthesia the day she was spayed. She did not seem to be in any pain and did not need a collar. We were very surprised and happy for her.


I'm really relieved to hear that it's possible for my kitty not to feel much pain! Thank you, Annalog. Now I have to do some more research about these collars and stuff...I'm a bit fuzzy on the details of the surgery. 
-Jane-


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

Pawz4me said:


> IME -- If he's a relatively young kitty, then he'll come home and you'll watch him and seriously wonder if the vet actually did anything. It's really unbelievably how little pain most young cats and dogs seem to have from a neuter.


He is young--he'll be 5 months old on the 17. The vet told me he was ready to get neutered (I was under the impression that they usually wait until the kitty is 6 months old, but I guess it depends on the kitty). Thank you, thank you, Pawz.


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

ravenclawprefect said:


> You can also talk over your concerns with your vet, he/she would be able to fully answer any questions or concerns you may have about it.


I'll probably have so many questions for the vet, she'll want to kick me out after 5 minutes.  Merci, Ravenclaw!


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

4Katie said:


> It's actually really good for the cat - he'll be happier and better behaved.
> 
> http://www.buzzle.com/articles/what-are-the-benefits-of-cat-neutering.html


 4Katie, thanks so much for the link!  I need all the info I can get...


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

Andra said:


> As the others have said, my kiddos didn't really seem to notice any pain once they were home from their surgeries. And it's very important that you take care of this so you don't end up with (or cause someone to end up with) kittens. There are way too many strays and unwanted kitties around.


 Andra, It's so cute that you call them "kiddos"! I like that.  And yeah--I definitely don't want to add to the already large population of strays. I always get so depressed when I go to the Humane Society to get my kitty his shots... 

Thank you for the comment!


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

rla1996 said:


> I've always thought that leaving a pet unspayed/neutered was worse than getting them fixed. It opens them up for so many more health problems, and there are so many homeless pets out there that I've always believed that my pets didn't need to be adding to the over population problem.


Well, I sure don't want my kitty to have health problems (and I sure as HECK don't want him making any new homeless pets!). Thank you for the input, RLA. <3


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

angelad said:


> Not getting our kittie neutered. It affects them way too much hormonally, really messes with their system. Just going to give her a safer shot for the same purpose.


This is the first I've heard about a "safer shot"--is that only for girl cats? Do you have an informative link I could check out? Thanks for the feedback, Angelad.


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

NogDog said:


> When I started reading this, my initial thought was that you were recommending pain meds for the pet owner, not the pet -- which in a way might not be a bad idea.
> 
> PS: I wholeheartedly agree that the benefits both for your pet and for future non-generations far outweigh the temporary mental and physical discomfort (for both of you). Noggin was neutered by the orphanage before I adopted him, so I didn't have to deal with it directly, but he's now lived to a ripe old age of 11 and is still a happy, active dog. (For a 60-pound mutt that's about 70-75 years old for you and me.) I did have to deal with a tumor removal (non-malignant, fortunately) last year, and he was a bit mopey for maybe 3 days afterward, but within a week he was back to normal, and I had to make sure he didn't jump around too much until we got his stitches out.


LOL, Nogdog! I'll probably need them after that day...

Thanks for sharing your story about Noggin (a great name, BTW). My fiance and I are thinking of getting a dog sometime next year...


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

The only "neutering shot" I'm aware of is Neutersol for male puppies. Among the downsides which may or may not be important to a given dog owner are:



> Unlike surgical castration, puppies treated with Neutersol retain their testes. Testosterone production is not completely halted following the bilateral injection though testosterone blood levels are reduced by 41% to 52%. Because of the presence of testosterone, the risk of diseases processes promoted by testosterone, e.g. certain prostatic diseases and testicular or perianal tumors, may remain unaltered. Also, male behaviors such as roaming, marking, aggression, or mounting in dogs may not be reduced as effectively as following surgical castration.


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## Anju  (Nov 8, 2008)

I have not had cats that lived long enough to be neutered, but all my dogs have been neutered/spayed and I never noticed any problems whatsoever post surgery.  There are so so many pets here, aka street dogs, that are not neutered and some are aggressive, some form packs when a female is in heat and they all produce many unwanted offspring.  

Your darling furbaby will not be mad at you, and if he is aware of what you are doing would probably thank you, no fights, no territory, no problems.


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## Cat (Nov 10, 2008)

Please _do_ get your kitty neutered. When you own a pet you need to be a responsible and caring owner (I'm sure you are/will be), and part of that is making sure there wont be any future litters running around that may end up at the shelter, and we know what happens to most animals there. Which is worse? A little anxiety for you, a little pain and stress for kitty, and _maybe_ he'll be upset with you now (he'll get over it), or possible cute fluffy "mistakes" ending up in bad places? 
You'll have to make many decisions that'll piss off your cat, lol. Don't claw the ____, no food and water 24 before going to the vet (now and the future), no going outside (he'll get used to it), or come inside NOW, it's dark, cold, rainy, whatever, get off the Kindle, I'm trying to read!
He will bring you lots of happiness.


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## Carol Hanrahan (Mar 31, 2009)

I can't go to the shelter.  I'd have to bring someone home, and I already have a full house.  3 cats, 2 dogs, 1 horsie.


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## Cat (Nov 10, 2008)

Anju No. 469 said:


> I have not had cats that lived long enough to be neutered,


?? I don't think I want to know. If someone asks you to explain, _please_ can you do it off board, or give me a **WARNING** at the top of your post so I can skip it?


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## Anju  (Nov 8, 2008)

Cat said:


> ?? I don't think I want to know. If someone asks you to explain, _please_ can you do it off board, or give me a **WARNING** at the top of your post so I can skip it?


No I will NOT go into that - they were not horrible experiences per se, but not good and well enough left alone.


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## mlewis78 (Apr 19, 2009)

This is routine surgery and your kitty will be fine.  Don't worry!


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## 4Katie (Jun 27, 2009)

> When I started reading this, my initial thought was that you were recommending pain meds for the pet owner, not the pet -- which in a way might not be a bad idea.


When one of my sons was going through... we'll just say difficult times... I used to tell the doctor that either he gets meds of I do!


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

AnjuNo. 469 said:


> Your darling furbaby will not be mad at you, and if he is aware of what you are doing would probably thank you, no fights, no territory, no problems.


He really _is_ my darling furbaby! 
Thanks, Anju--you cheered me up even more.


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

Cat said:


> Please _do_ get your kitty neutered. When you own a pet you need to be a responsible and caring owner (I'm sure you are/will be), and part of that is making sure there wont be any future litters running around that may end up at the shelter, and we know what happens to most animals there. Which is worse? A little anxiety for you, a little pain and stress for kitty, and _maybe_ he'll be upset with you now (he'll get over it), or possible cute fluffy "mistakes" ending up in bad places?
> You'll have to make many decisions that'll p*ss off your cat, lol. Don't claw the ____, no food and water 24 before going to the vet (now and the future), no going outside (he'll get used to it), or come inside NOW, it's dark, cold, rainy, whatever, get off the Kindle, I'm trying to read!
> He will bring you lots of happiness.


Oh, I'm definitely getting him neutered! No question about it. I just need reassurance, and I got it. Thank you, Cat. And your comments are spot-on! Kimu-Kimu HATES my laptop--hates it more than water!!! He gets so angry when I pay more attention to it than him...and then when he realizes he's losing the fight, he curls up against my back and pouts.


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

Carol Hanrahan said:


> I can't go to the shelter. I'd have to bring someone home, and I already have a full house. 3 cats, 2 dogs, 1 horsie.


I know how you feel! It's really torture going there and seeing all those sad little animals who need love. But my goodness, you have a big family of pets! And a horse, too--that's so neat! 

-Jane-


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

mlewis78 said:


> This is routine surgery and your kitty will be fine. Don't worry!


Many others have told me the same thing, but I'll never get tired of the reassurances! I'm very thankful for your comment, MLewis.


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## Pawz4me (Feb 14, 2009)

One thing you might consider is having the vet do pre-anesthesia bloodwork.  Most vets consider it optional, but it's something I don't mind spending the money on.  It can really help the vet spot anything going on that might cause a complication with the surgery or anesthesia.  And you've got a baseline to refer back to in the event of illness in the future.


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

NogDog said:


> The only "neutering shot" I'm aware of is Neutersol for male puppies. Among the downsides which may or may not be important to a given dog owner are:


Great info! Sankyouuuuuuu NogDog! I'll keep this in mind for the future. 
-Jane-


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

Pawz4me said:


> One thing you might consider is having the vet do pre-anesthesia bloodwork. Most vets consider it optional, but it's something I don't mind spending the money on. It can really help the vet spot anything going on that might cause a complication with the surgery or anesthesia. And you've got a baseline to refer back to in the event of illness in the future.


Do you know how much that typically costs? It's definitely an option I would like to consider...


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## Pawz4me (Feb 14, 2009)

Jane Bled said:


> Do you know how much that typically costs? It's definitely an option I would like to consider...


The last time I had it done was in June, when my dog had a suspicious lump removed, and it was $58.40. But vet charges seem to vary a lot.


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## louiseb (Mar 2, 2009)

You have already gotten really good advice here, so I will just add to the reassurances.w

I have been rescuing animals for as long as I can remember, my parents never knew what I might bring home, even when a small child. I had no fear and I am sure there were several times that I scared them quite a bit.I do not have cats now, but have had them most of my life. Right now I have 7 dogs, 2 potbellied pigs, and a parrot. The parrot is the only pet larger than a hamster I have had who was not altered, and believe me I would have the parrot done in a heartbeat but there is no such surgery for birds. Everyone got through their surgeries just fine and were/are much healthier and happier pets for it. I do understand your feelings, my vet knows that I don't want my pets spending the night there after surgery, I would rather stay up with them all night if needed. They don't have someone there 24 hours. I have had his techs tell me that I am the only one he would let take their pet home after a complicated surgery, but he trusts me, I'm a nurse, and I would not hesitate to make a run to the emergency hospital if needed.

You are a good pet mom to care so much about your kitty. My cats were always miffed when I took them to the vet, even if the worst that happened was having their temperature taken, but they quickly forgave me.


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## KBoards Admin (Nov 27, 2007)

We had our golden retriever spayed a few months ago, and she had to wear the "cone of shame" for a week or so.

This cone though was transparent instead of the white ones that I remember. That made it a lot more bearable and it didn't seem to bother Raney too much.


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## Angela (Nov 2, 2008)

you won't regret it... coming home to a sofa that has been marked is no fun for anyone... I speak from experience!


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

One thing people may not tell you, and you can ask your vet about this.. it is real.. Male cats who get fixed... become maternal in the presence of other kittens... Our 2 yr old male lets the wild neighborhood kittens try to nurse on him...


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## Carol Hanrahan (Mar 31, 2009)

BTackitt said:


> One thing people may not tell you, and you can ask your vet about this.. it is real.. Male cats who get fixed... become maternal in the presence of other kittens... Our 2 yr old male lets the wild neighborhood kittens try to nurse on him...


Wow! I had never heard that! Better not let my daughter hear. Her black male kitty, Tucker, is about 2.


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## CegAbq (Mar 17, 2009)

Harvey said:


> We had our golden retriever spayed a few months ago, and she had to wear the "cone of shame" for a week or so.
> 
> This cone though was transparent instead of the white ones that I remember. That made it a lot more bearable and it didn't seem to bother Raney too much.


Harvey - you need to post this pic over in A Little Cuteness! http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,15580.0.html


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## KBoards Admin (Nov 27, 2007)

^ Okay, done! Thanks, Carol!


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

louiseb said:


> You have already gotten really good advice here, so I will just add to the reassurances.w
> 
> I have been rescuing animals for as long as I can remember, my parents never knew what I might bring home, even when a small child. I had no fear and I am sure there were several times that I scared them quite a bit.I do not have cats now, but have had them most of my life. Right now I have 7 dogs, 2 potbellied pigs, and a parrot. The parrot is the only pet larger than a hamster I have had who was not altered, and believe me I would have the parrot done in a heartbeat but there is no such surgery for birds. Everyone got through their surgeries just fine and were/are much healthier and happier pets for it. I do understand your feelings, my vet knows that I don't want my pets spending the night there after surgery, I would rather stay up with them all night if needed. They don't have someone there 24 hours. I have had his techs tell me that I am the only one he would let take their pet home after a complicated surgery, but he trusts me, I'm a nurse, and I would not hesitate to make a run to the emergency hospital if needed.
> 
> You are a good pet mom to care so much about your kitty. My cats were always miffed when I took them to the vet, even if the worst that happened was having their temperature taken, but they quickly forgave me.


Thank you for sharing your experiences, Louise. My fiance and I both have the day off work when Kimu-Kimu is going to have his surgery, so we'll be there for him. I'm sure the vet will take good care of him, but Mommy and Daddy will comfort him if he needs us.


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

Harvey said:


> We had our golden retriever spayed a few months ago, and she had to wear the "cone of shame" for a week or so.
> 
> This cone though was transparent instead of the white ones that I remember. That made it a lot more bearable and it didn't seem to bother Raney too much.


Great picture, Harvey! I think my heart just melted a little.


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

Angela said:


> you won't regret it... coming home to a sofa that has been marked is no fun for anyone... I speak from experience!


LOL! I'll be living in fear until next Wednesday, because Kimu-Kimu has started to discover the joys of soft objects (and neutered male cats!)...


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

BTackitt said:


> One thing people may not tell you, and you can ask your vet about this.. it is real.. Male cats who get fixed... become maternal in the presence of other kittens... Our 2 yr old male lets the wild neighborhood kittens try to nurse on him...


That's kinda cool--and kinda weird, LOL. My kitty is indoor only, so I won't have to worry about hungry babies coming to feed from him.


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## Sienna_98 (Jan 26, 2009)

I'm not sure if anyone else responded to your earlier question, but an e-collar is also called an elizabethan collar, because it looks like the stiff white collars worn by Elizabethan royalty.  I believe Harvey referred to it as the 'cone of shame' LOL.  You can find different types at Petsmart or PetCo.  The collars are designed to prevent the cat/dog from licking their surgical areas    which can result in poor wound healing and/or infection.  I don't think I've ever had to put one on a cat other than for spay/neuter, but I keep a couple around for my dogs in case they develop hot spots, etc.  

Anyway, I'm sure you'll be hearing all this from your vet as well.


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## Jane Bled (Sep 2, 2009)

Sienna_98 said:


> I'm not sure if anyone else responded to your earlier question, but an e-collar is also called an elizabethan collar, because it looks like the stiff white collars worn by Elizabethan royalty. I believe Harvey referred to it as the 'cone of shame' LOL. You can find different types at Petsmart or PetCo. The collars are designed to prevent the cat/dog from licking their surgical areas  which can result in poor wound healing and/or infection. I don't think I've ever had to put one on a cat other than for spay/neuter, but I keep a couple around for my dogs in case they develop hot spots, etc.
> 
> Anyway, I'm sure you'll be hearing all this from your vet as well.


Thank you for clarifiying! I'll be sure to get the details from my vet.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

This was Noggin after his tumor removal last year. Fortunately he showed no inclination to gnaw at his stitches, so I only used it for a couple days at times when he would be unattended. The good news is that after all that supposed trauma, he still does not mind going to see the vet. (It doesn't hurt that all the ladies who work there treat him like a prince.  )


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## Anju  (Nov 8, 2008)

How adorable - looks like a satellite dish!


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## patinagle (Oct 16, 2009)

"I do not like the Cone of Shame..."


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## Anju  (Nov 8, 2008)

yeah, no shame involved HRUMPH


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