# Slang/euphemisms for heterosexual?



## Harry Dewulf (Oct 4, 2010)

US and UK English have an impressive range of slang and euphemisms for homosexuality (and non-polar gender preference) but I'm struggling to find good terms for either male or female heterosexuals. Feel free to invent. The challenge is to avoid excessive vulgarity and direct references to body parts. Connotations can be negative, positive or neutral; admission, accusation or observation.


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## anniejocoby (Aug 11, 2013)

They used to be called Breeders, but I'm not sure if that's still a popular term in the gay community.


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## Lady Vine (Nov 11, 2012)

Breeders and hets are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head. If you spend some time on gay forums you might pick up some more.


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## eleanorberesford (Dec 22, 2014)

Str8s.


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## scifi365 (Sep 12, 2014)

Breeders is the one that first came to my mind, as well. There aren't that many slang words for straight people, I don't think.


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## Speaker-To-Animals (Feb 21, 2012)

Mostly I hear "straight."

I haven't heard breeder for years. People don't use it because it's insulting. Not to mention that most of us are breeding quite well these days.

That's an middle aged married lesbian perspective.


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## eleanorberesford (Dec 22, 2014)

Sarah Aubrey said:


> Not to mention that most of us are breeding quite well these days.
> 
> That's an middle aged married lesbian perspective.


Amen to that, sister, from a fellow married and rapidly gaining on middle age lesbian--and mother.

Straight, spelled out or str8, or het, is about all I ever hear. Maybe we just don't feel the need to insult people for their sexual alignments, possibly because we know what it's like to bear the brunt of it.

Slangdictionary gives me "hasbian" and "wasbian" but I have never, ever encountered these used in real life. Ex-gay and ex-lesbian and bisexual, depending on how they identify, do quite well for former lesbians in straight relationships.


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## Guest (Jan 14, 2015)

Harry Dewulf said:


> US and UK English have an impressive range of slang and euphemisms for homosexuality (and non-polar gender preference) but I'm struggling to find good terms for either male or female heterosexuals. Feel free to invent. The challenge is to avoid excessive vulgarity and direct references to body parts. Connotations can be negative, positive or neutral; admission, accusation or observation.


Are we talking about hetero men, or hetero women? Or do we need universal terms that describe both, as long as it's clear that they are hetero?

If men, my very progressive daughter tells me that "a cis-gen representative of the patriarchy" would work. "Woman-loving man" would work, too - that would seem to exclude gay men. Or "Wom*e*n-loving man", if he happens to be like most men. "Master of the house" also works, if we are tradition-minded. Pater familias, if we are into historical stuff, since presumably, if there is a familia, he must have, at least reluctantly, done some bedroom activities with a woman.


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## Mark E. Cooper (May 29, 2011)

Straights, hets, hetero. I just say hetero in my sci-fi, but straight seems common in real life around here in ye olde England. We are about 20 years behind the US in most things though.


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## Jennifer R P (Oct 19, 2012)

Please do NOT use "bisexual" for "former lesbians in straight relationships." It is a completely separate orientation and we fight *constantly* not to be judged as "straight" or "gay" depending on our current relationship.

- from a bisexual woman in a straight relationship.


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## Guest (Jan 14, 2015)

Jennifer R P said:


> Please do NOT use "bisexual" for "former lesbians in straight relationships." It is a completely separate orientation and we fight *constantly* not to be judged as "straight" or "gay" depending on our current relationship.
> 
> - from a bisexual woman in a straight relationship.


So, what would you call them?

I have a relative (male) who has had two straight relationships in a row - he says he's bisexual.


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## Guest (Jan 14, 2015)

TobiasRoote said:


> So, what would you call them?
> 
> I have a relative (male) who has had two straight relationships in a row - he says he's bisexual.


He is probably lying. As I understand, statistically, actual male bisexuals are very rare. They are not bi - they are gay pretending to be bi.


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## Guest (Jan 14, 2015)

Jennifer R P said:


> Please do NOT use "bisexual" for "former lesbians in straight relationships." It is a completely separate orientation and we fight *constantly* not to be judged as "straight" or "gay" depending on our current relationship.
> 
> - from a bisexual woman in a straight relationship.


I am confused... I know they teach these things to 14 year olds in high schools now, but I missed the boat on all that modern pedagogical thinking... How can one be a "former lesbian"? Isn't that like being a former white person, or a former biped?


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## zoe tate (Dec 18, 2013)

Delusion of Grandeur said:


> How can one be a "former lesbian"? Isn't that like being a former white person, or a former biped?


I suspect that some people say "former lesbian" to cover a sense of "used to think I was lesbian and then discovered I wasn't, quite, after all".



Jennifer R P said:


> Please do NOT use "bisexual" for "former lesbians in straight relationships."


Apologies if I'm insensitive, but I have difficulty understanding this perspective. What would you prefer, then, if not "bisexual"?



Jennifer R P said:


> It is a completely separate orientation and we fight *constantly* not to be judged as "straight" or "gay" depending on our current relationship.


Surely. This I understand. But isn't that a reason for wanting people to use the term "bisexual" rather than for wanting to avoid it?

What did I miss, here?


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## Jennifer R P (Oct 19, 2012)

I think we're both being not that clear.

What I object to is both the idea that somebody can be a "former lesbian" and the placing of bisexual next to "ex-gay" - first of all, there's no such thing as ex-gay. Second of all, a bisexual person is bisexual regardless of who they are with at the time. I went to re-read the original comment, but it appears to have been removed.

Now, it's not impossible, Zoe, that you've met some bisexual women who thought they were gay because they were in love with a woman. You may also have met bisexual women who pretended to be lesbians in order to avoid some very real prejudice against us in the gay/lesbian community. (Especially against bisexuals in opposite-sex relationships. There's some venom there). Bisexuality is a bit of a confusing mess in many ways, especially if you're a kid with no bisexual role models in your life.

Okay - Tobias and Delusion...especially Delusion. Yes, you can have multiple straight (or gay) relationships in a row and still be bisexual. I knew a bisexual woman who was married for thirty plus years. I've been in a relationship with the same man for 17 years - doesn't make me not bisexual, any more than you can have a "former lesbian."

Bisexual means attracted to more than one gender. It doesn't mean acting on that attraction, any more than a monosexual (somebody attracted to only one sex/gender) acts on every bit of attraction they might feel. In general, if somebody says they're bisexual, they mean it. Delusion, why do you think Tobias' friend is lying? You realize biphobia is a very real thing, and we often get it from straights AND gays? Why would somebody claim to be something people are prejudiced against?


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## beccaprice (Oct 1, 2011)

Mostly I hear "cis" used for hetersexuals. but I may not frequent the right blogs and stuff.


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## Guest (Jan 14, 2015)

Jennifer R P said:


> I think we're both being not that clear.
> 
> What I object to is both the idea that somebody can be a "former lesbian" and the placing of bisexual next to "ex-gay" - first of all, there's no such thing as ex-gay. Second of all, a bisexual person is bisexual regardless of who they are with at the time. I went to re-read the original comment, but it appears to have been removed.
> 
> ...


Eh... Ah... OK... so you are saying there is no such thing as a former lesbian? Well, that's kind of what I thought too. But these days, of course, one never knows.

I think he is lying because statistically (and don't ask me for a link to a study, I don't have it) bisexual men who are really bisexual (as opposed to gay) are very rare. And many gay men, under pressure from their family/relatives/society/whatnot engage in heterosexual relationships (so they can say they are bi) when in fact they would prefer to just be gay.

Just to be clear - I support gay men 150%. The more gay men there are - the more beautiful women are left for the rest of us.


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## Jennifer R P (Oct 19, 2012)

Oh, I found the study. 2005. 101 men, of whom 33 identified as bisexual. Most scientists felt the sample size was too small. But that study has been used over and over to support the fallacy that all bisexual men are closet gays or, worse, that only women can be bisexual. (There are more self-identified bisexual women than bisexual men, but whether this actually has anything to do with real sexuality or whether it means bisexual men are more likely to just let people think they're straight or gay...)

The same researcher, Michael Bailey, did a second study using a different criteria - specifically recruiting men who had a history of romantic relationships with both men and women - and yup, found plenty of bisexual men that time. IOW, his initial sample was flawed.

Becca Price - the term "cis" has nothing to do with sexuality. "Cis," meaning "same" is short for "cisgendered" and is a slang term for people who identify as their assigned gender, i.e., people who are not transgendered. The term has become popular in the LGBT community because it allows for greater clarity when discussing trans-specific issues.

For example, if you say "Trans women have problems women do not" you are immediately implying trans women are not women.

"Trans women have problems cis women do not" makes it clear you're talking about two different groups of women.

The confusion may come from the growing use of "cishet" to refer to people who are not LGBT - and that term's becoming pretty derogatory - it's close to being the new "breeder."


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## Speaker-To-Animals (Feb 21, 2012)

cis means cisgender, meaning someone who's physical body matches with their perceived gender. It's a term that allows you to discuss transgender and cisgender people without implying that transgender people aren't "real" men/women. (Ie, instead of comparing "transgender women" to "women" which would imply transgender women aren't women, you compare transgender women to cisgender women.)

You aren't generally going to see people using the term unless they're making a specific comparison between trans and cis.


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## 10105 (Feb 16, 2010)

Delusion of Grandeur said:


> ...bisexual men who are really bisexual (as opposed to gay) are very rare. And many gay men, under pressure from their family/relatives/society/whatnot engage in heterosexual relationships (so they can say they are bi) when in fact they would prefer to just be gay.


You just described a member of my family. He is now a self-proclaimed celibate because of his fear of AIDS. He's been married twice (to women) and has been in countless homosexual relationships over the years. One evening he was lamenting to me that he didn't like to be categorized and that he didn't really know what he was, gay, bi, or what. I offered him this unscientific litmus test: "What do you think about when you're waxing your carrot?" He paused and then said in a resigned manner, "I'm gay."

As to the original question, my generation didn't have a label for straight men. We were simply men. I never heard the gay men of my generation (before "gay" even meant that) refer to us otherwise.


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## Speaker-To-Animals (Feb 21, 2012)

What would be helpful is the context. These change a great deal with generation, context, and what segment of the community we're talking about. The term that someone might use on a college campus discussing sexual and gender politics might be a very different term than what a 50-something gay male drag queen might use in discussing some straight guy that just used a slur.


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## Natasha Holme (May 26, 2012)

Hettie


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## Carradee (Aug 21, 2010)

Delusion of Grandeur said:


> Just to be clear - I support gay men 150%. The more gay men there are - the more beautiful women are left for the rest of us.


I realize you meant that for humor, but the attitude in that joke is what leads to guys believing that young, beautiful women must necessarily want a relationship.

I'm an aromantic asexual (slang: ace of spades)-which means I don't feel sexual OR romantic attraction. In my case, I'm on the extreme aromantic asexual end, in that I've _never_ felt either. Thought I did, because I was told I had to be feeling it, but I more recently realized that what I felt was never beyond a "squish"-which can be intense but are always platonic. Since coming out this past year, I've already had several people insist I couldn't possibly be asexual because I'm attractive and would make a good wife and mother.

OP, I'm sorry I can't help you with terms for het men and women.


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## joyceharmon (May 21, 2012)

Harry Dewulf said:


> US and UK English have an impressive range of slang and euphemisms for homosexuality (and non-polar gender preference) but I'm struggling to find good terms for either male or female heterosexuals. Feel free to invent. The challenge is to avoid excessive vulgarity and direct references to body parts. Connotations can be negative, positive or neutral; admission, accusation or observation.


What's your context? Are you writing contemporary or sci-fi or fantasy? Unless it's contemporary, you might want to use a made-up word, and that will depend on the culture you're inventing. If non-straights are discriminated against, and this is their slang, there might be more anger in the slang term.


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## Harry Dewulf (Oct 4, 2010)

Context - this is specifically for a situation where a lack of suitable vocabulary is identified by the characters. They are confronting a claim that sexual preference, possibly even gender itself is at best a chimera, at worst a cultural construct, and discovering that while there are all sorts of colourful ways of referring to what I like euphemistically to call "non-traditional gender-sexual expression," the majority have the technical term "heterosexual" or the vulgar (and in some contexts offensive by figurative implication) "straight". One character says, "why can't there be a _fabulous_ way to say 'straight'?"

Just for info, I'm a mildly gender fluid biological male and I identify as individuosexual - the person, not their gender (however this is determined) is what decides whether I'm physically attracted to them.


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## Jennifer R P (Oct 19, 2012)

A fabulous way to say straight? As far as I know, nope.

So? Invent one. Have your characters confront the issue that there isn't a word for that and, well, make a word for that.


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## Guest (Jan 14, 2015)

Carradee said:


> I realize you meant that for humor, but the attitude in that joke is what leads to *guys believing that young, beautiful women must necessarily want a relationship*.
> 
> I'm an aromantic asexual (slang: ace of spades)--which means I don't feel sexual OR romantic attraction. In my case, I'm on the extreme aromantic asexual end, in that I've _never_ felt either. Thought I did, because I was told I had to be feeling it, but I more recently realized that what I felt was never beyond a "squish"--which can be intense but are always platonic. Since coming out this past year, I've already had several people insist I couldn't possibly be asexual because I'm attractive and would make a good wife and mother.


Well... I wouldn't go _that _far 

And I don't think that the existence of aromantic asexual women contradicts my support for gay men. The aromantic asexual women would still be there regardless of the existence of gay men. The concept is statistical, not personal. And whether or not we exclude them from the equation - the point is still no less valid.


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## m.a. petterson (Sep 11, 2013)

If I recall correctly Patricia Cornwell's character Kay Scarpetta's gay niece calls straight men 'tripods'.


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## Flay Otters (Jul 29, 2014)

Piv
Short for Pivtastic!


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## Rin (Apr 25, 2011)

Bisexual girl here.

I usually just stick to using "straight", though I often use "cishet" as well - especially when it's relevant to bring up cisgender privilege into a particular discussion.


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## eleanorberesford (Dec 22, 2014)

Jennifer R P said:


> Please do NOT use "bisexual" for "former lesbians in straight relationships." It is a completely separate orientation and we fight *constantly* not to be judged as "straight" or "gay" depending on our current relationship.
> 
> - from a bisexual woman in a straight relationship.


Did you miss the part when I said "depending on how they identify"? With all due respect, and I'm sure you have the best of motives in defending a contested identity, I am going to value the right of people to choose how to identify and describe themselves.

I have friends who consider themselves ex-lesbian, friends who consider themselves ex-straight, and, by far largest group, friends who consider themselves ex-bisexual or that bisexuality was a phase they went through before fully committing to women. Both my wife and myself belong to that group, as it happens. It's not that we were a "completely separate orientation" back then, just that we drifted along the Kinsey scale for a variety of reasons.

If you identify as bisexual, then of course I respect how you identify, regardless of your relationship status. The B is in QUILTBAG for a reason. I also respected the identity of a friend who identified as a lesbian who was married to a man, because she felt that best described her actual orientation more than her circumstances. She's married to a woman these days.

Life, after all, is a complex and beautiful thing, and so are people. The best thing is to respect, listen, and accept.


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## Dolphin (Aug 22, 2013)

I mostly just want to chime in and say that the term "QUILTBAG" has greatly enriched my life.

As for hetero slang, I should think it would have to be rooted in the world. If it's a medievalish setting where only hetero couplings produce legitimate heirs, maybe something that stems from inheritance. I seem to recall some horribly, horribly conceived novel that touched on racial issues and had "coal" as slang for black folk and "pearl" or something similar for white folk. There was a whole tortured explanation about how coal was super useful and awesome and not at all intended to convey worthlessness, or dirtiness, or anything negative at all, while pearls were nasty irritants that nobody wanted...but yeah, terrible.

Had context in the world, though, and that's the point. Hard to invent something out of the blue (except for anatomy and whatnot, which was ruled out).


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## Rin (Apr 25, 2011)

Dolphin said:


> I mostly just want to chime in and say that the term "QUILTBAG" has greatly enriched my life.
> 
> As for hetero slang, I should think it would have to be rooted in the world. If it's a medievalish setting where only hetero couplings produce legitimate heirs, maybe something that stems from inheritance. I seem to recall some horribly, horribly conceived novel that touched on racial issues and had "coal" as slang for black folk and "pearl" or something similar for white folk. There was a whole tortured explanation about how coal was super useful and awesome and not at all intended to convey worthlessness, or dirtiness, or anything negative at all, while pearls were nasty irritants that nobody wanted...but yeah, terrible.


QUILTBAG also feels very natural to type, so there's an advantage there.  (I do generally add a + on the end for those that it doesn't cover - like pan).

...and I had managed to forget about that book. Whhhhy did you bring it up? Now I have to go scrub my brain again.


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## BitterVoid (Nov 22, 2016)

I know this is post hasn't been active since 2015, but I googled "Other terms for heterosexual" and could find nothing but this actually close to what I wanted to find.

There are absolutely no alternative terms for heterosexuals or just heterosexual.

"Gay" and "Straight" aren't the actual terms that should be used. And most people probably don't even know that. They probably even think professionals write "William Rodney the third was gay" instead of homosexual .


But anyways.. I made an account of here just to post this on this post. This topic got absolutely no answers and that's because there is none sadly.

Yet if I googled other terms or names for homosexual/homosexuals I would get lists upon lists of other terms, including insulting ones.

I don't want an insulting term for heterosexuals I just wish I didn't have to call them "Straight" or heterosexual.

And then those terms are actually pretty insulting in all. We get "Gay" But heterosexuals get "Straight" like a perfect line.

I wish someone would create new terms that sounded and were fair and not biased to any sexuality group.


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## GeneDoucette (Oct 14, 2014)

Women in uncomfortable shoes


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## Patty Jansen (Apr 5, 2011)

I'm hearing "cishet" on Twitter, mostly used by people who aren't.


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## TheLemontree (Sep 12, 2015)

Euphemisms always emerge in order to discuss taboos without having to use actual words. 

So, yeah, just like there are no euphemisms for 'bread' and 'carrots', there was historically no reason to invent words to discuss heterosexual relationships. Because you could discuss them in front of your children and Great Aunt Matilda without having to censor yourself. 

Slang is slightly different, and can be related to group self-identity, or claiming and redeeming a previously insulting term. But again, there is little to no cultural reason for these terms to evolve at present for hetero relationships. 

So it depends on the culture of your novel. And the historical 'norms' of that society.


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## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

BitterVoid said:


> I don't want an insulting term for heterosexuals I just wish I didn't have to call them "Straight" or heterosexual.
> 
> And then those terms are actually pretty insulting in all. We get "Gay" But heterosexuals get "Straight" like a perfect line.
> 
> I wish someone would create new terms that sounded and were fair and not biased to any sexuality group.


Welcome to KB. 

Well, the nice thing about being a writer is that you can invent the terms you want to use. Why not have one of your characters bemoaning the lack of good alternatives for "straight" and then coming up with a new term to use among friends? Maybe your invention will catch on. I bet it wouldn't be the first time a novel gifted the language with a great new term.


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