# This thread tries very hard to be clever, but it isn't - NSFW!



## David McAfee

I just found this important bulletin on a very dangerous individual:










*Apologies for the sloppy format. I had to do this in Word and in a hurry.


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## Sean Sweeney

I have taken it under advisement. LOL


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## Imogen Rose




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## DLs Niece




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## Debra L Martin

Too funny


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

But...I don't like indian burns....

*starts packing suitcase*


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## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> But...I don't like indian burns....
> 
> *starts packing suitcase*


So.... are you saying you _do_ like wedgies?

I knew you were off...


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## The Proper Authorities

Posting here because we believe our suspect tends to hide in such writer communities.










The Proper Authorities.


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## David McAfee

My font was prettier.


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I don't know what you're talking about.

*continues packing*


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## Guest

Wait...under the reward...you mean an actual CASSETTE TAPE?  Not a CD?  That thing might actually be worth something.  I can probably get at least $5 for that on Ebay.  Let me go find this ruthless criminal!  I want the reward!


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## David McAfee

Cool! Dalglish has a new book out! Check it out, everyone. I think it's a rom-com.


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## Debra L Martin

Will we be hearing from the Proper Authorities again or is he/she a one-hit wonder?


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## The Proper Authorities

A reminder, do not accept any payments from suspect. They are stolen property and should be treated as such. Also, suspect has been known to be pushing derivative vampire literature onto unsuspecting innocents on the street, often accompanied by the phrase, "BUY, BUY, BUY, OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE BUY THIS!"

Here is a copy of his literature.










The Proper Authorities.


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## David McAfee

HA! The Edward pic is a low blow. You are sooooo gonna get it.

Dang! Vengeance makes my brain hurt. All 33 cells.


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Still don't know what you're talking about.

*hides his copy of 33 B.C. below some lingerie in his suitcase*


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## David McAfee

And the sequel to The Weight of My Butt:


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Sheesh, you should put a spoiler warning up when you're going to reveal the entire plot of one of my novels.

David Dalglish


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## horse_girl

(need one of those popcorn eating smilies)


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## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> Sheesh, you should put a spoiler warning up when you're going to reveal the entire plot of one of my novels.
> 
> David Dalglish


At least I didn't tell them about the Elven Hippie Sit In when all the hippie elves sit in the path of the King's coach as he drives to their kingdom to tell them he's banning all one-legged ostriches as a tax write off. That was a gruesome scene, too. All those pointy ears and love beads flying all over the street. That poor burro will never be the same!


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

At least I didn't sell out. You went from writing horror to well...I'll let the book do the talking.










David Dalglish


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## David McAfee

Don't knock it. That's my biggest seller. You should try my recipe for Southern Fried Catfish Tongue. MMMMMM-MMMMM Good!


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

David McAfee said:


> Don't knock it. That's my biggest seller. You should try my recipe for Southern Fried Catfish Tongue. MMMMMM-MMMMM Good!


Is that where the inspiration for GRUBS came from?


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## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> Is that where the inspiration for GRUBS came from?


Totally different recipe. Here, have a taste.


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## Daphne

Half-Orc said:


> At least I didn't sell out. You went from writing horror to well...I'll let the book do the talking.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> David Dalglish


I hope this isn't a joke - I _really_ want this book.


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

(If you're hoping for something other than jokes in this thread, I think you're going to be sorely disappointed  )


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## Sean Sweeney

My God, I'm about to pee... this is funny.


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Uh oh, McAfee, it looks like you've got some competition in the Food-Writing business, and by a Kindleboard author, no less.










_One candy-bar to rule them all,
One Wal-Mart to find them.
One-thousand calories to bring them all
and in the sweat-pants fatten them._

David Dalglish


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## Sean Sweeney

Absolutely brilliant! I was waiting for this.


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

John Fitch V said:


> Absolutely brilliant! I was waiting for this.


Just gave you a tag-line for your Trilogy, John. I think you'll like it.


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## David McAfee

That's it... I gotta rename this thread.


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## Sean Sweeney

Half-Orc said:


> _One candy-bar to rule them all,
> One Wal-Mart to find them.
> One-thousand calories to bring them all
> and in the sweat-pants fatten them._
> 
> David Dalglish


Good night everybody!!!


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## ReeseReed

This thread rocks!  I am laughing SO hard!


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## Brenda Carroll

David McAfee said:


> Totally different recipe. Here, have a taste.


Er, is this like 'Cherry/Vanilla' flavored or whaaaaaat?


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## Debra L Martin

I think pretty soon the "Davids" are going to need an entire folder of their own.

First we had "Attack of the Davids" and now "War of the Davids"

what's next "The Davids' Last Word"? "Peace by the Davids" or maybe "United Nations of Davids"


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## David McAfee

Deb Martin said:


> I think pretty soon the "Davids" are going to need an entire folder of their own.
> 
> First we had "Attack of the Davids" and now "War of the Davids"
> 
> what's next "The Davids' Last Word"? "Peace by the Davids" or maybe "United Nations of Davids"


One thing is for sure, it won't be "The Silence of the Davids."

We just don't have it in us.


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## MariaESchneider

Deb Martin said:


> I think pretty soon the "Davids" are going to need an entire folder of their own.
> 
> First we had "Attack of the Davids" and now "War of the Davids"
> 
> what's next "The Davids' Last Word"? "Peace by the Davids" or maybe "United Nations of Davids"


I told you that fighting in their ranks would be their downfall! Of course in this case it looks like they may well poison each other. Or just overeat and fall asleep...


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## Brenda Carroll

I'm sorry. I know I'm not a David, but I couldn't resist. I'm planning on reading this one next.


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## Daniel Arenson

I foresee a fourth book in the series:


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## Sean Sweeney

And their little dog, too!

<~~~~~~~~ see the little dog?


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## Edward C. Patterson

It's about time you Davids knock each off so us Edwards can conquer the world.


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## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> I foresee a fourth book in the series:


oh, sure... make ME the


Spoiler



bad guy


 with the skeletons behind me.


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## terryr

See, now this is what I'm talking about... the kind of evil bad stuff I do when I'm bored... I knew I liked you guys for a reason.


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

OMG Daniel that cover is so freaking funny!


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## Daniel Arenson

Half-Orc said:


> OMG Daniel that cover is so freaking funny!


And you just look so happy in it!


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## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> And you just look so happy in it!


Of course he's happy. _He's_ not the one with a bunch of boneheads for minions.

I always knew you liked him best.


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## Daniel Arenson

David McAfee said:


> Of course he's happy. _He's_ not the one with a bunch of boneheads for minions.
> 
> I always knew you liked him best.


Hey, I should think you'd prefer to be the evil villain, with skeletons and a flaming whip; isn't that more fun than being the happy good guy?


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Gonna have to retaliate if we're gonna have interlopers in our Civil War.










There's your Firefly, bud.

David Dalglish


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## Debra L Martin

Half-Orc said:


> Gonna have to retaliate if we're gonna have interlopers in our Civil War.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> There's your Firefly, bud.
> 
> David Dalglish


Looks like it's time to change the title of this thread again - and a Daniel too!


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## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> Gonna have to retaliate if we're gonna have interlopers in our Civil War.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> There's your Firefly, bud.
> 
> David Dalglish


Heh. As long as he's making fun of _your _ covers, I say welcome aboard, daniel.


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## Daniel Arenson

Half-Orc said:


> There's your Firefly, bud.


You just wait until I'm back home with access to Photoshop.


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I see Brandon Carroll had to take a shot with chocolate, so time to give him due as well.










The Red Cross of Gold: LXXVI: The Never Ending Story.

David Dalglish


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## Daniel Arenson




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## Debra L Martin

Hey, no fair - I loved The Never Ending Story....


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## Daniel Arenson

Deb Martin said:


> Hey, no fair - I loved The Never Ending Story....


I was born in 1980. Everyone born in 1980 LOVED that movie as kids. But I rewatched it once as an adult, a couple years ago. And it has NOT aged well. 

But you know, The Neverending Story epitomizes the 80s more than any movie from the era. It wasn't the BEST movie of the 80s -- that would be E.T., or Back to the Future, or Ghostbusters, or Indiana Jones, or The Empire Strikes Back. But more than those movies, The Neverending Story captures the decade. Because the 80s were like Falcor: They were pink, they were fluffy, and they were a flying dog. And they never ended.


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## Debra L Martin

DArenson said:


> I was born in 1980. Everyone born in 1980 LOVED that movie as kids. But I rewatched it once as an adult, a couple years ago. And it has NOT aged well.
> 
> But you know, The Neverending Story epitomizes the 80s more than any movie from the era. It wasn't the BEST movie of the 80s -- that would be E.T., or Back to the Future, or Ghostbusters, or Indiana Jones, or The Empire Strikes Back. But more than those movies, The Neverending Story captures the decade. Because the 80s were like Falcor: They were pink, they were fluffy, and they were a flying dog. And they never ended.


Well said Daniel, well said. I wasn't born in the 80s, my kids were so that story was on a lot.

Gee, now that you mention it I haven't watched it decades. But a few years ago I watched the "Last Unicorn" again and still enjoyed it - I guess I just don't want to grow up.....


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## Daniel Arenson

Deb Martin said:


> Gee, now that you mention it I haven't watched it decades. But a few years ago I watched the "Last Unicorn" again and still enjoyed it - I guess I just don't want to grow up.....


I grow older but I don't grow up.


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## Cindy416

Too funny!


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## Victorine

Oh my gosh, my sides hurt from laughing so hard.










Vicki


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## David McAfee

Victorine said:


> Oh my gosh, my sides hurt from laughing so hard.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Vicki


Just as long as you don't pee on yourself. (John Fitch V already did that.)


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## Daniel Arenson

David McAfee said:


> Just as long as you don't pee on yourself. (John Fitch V already did that.)


The sad thing is that with John, it happened BEFORE we started telling the jokes.


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## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> The sad thing is that with John, it happened BEFORE we started telling the jokes.


Jokes?

What jokes?


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

David McAfee said:


> Jokes?
> 
> What jokes?


This rift between me and McAfee is Serious Business. *nod*

David Dalglish


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## 13893

This is not good.  I am at a Very Important Hearing with the State of California, the State of Nevada, the US Government, and an Indian Tribe, and I am totally cracking up in a distinctly nonprofessional manner...


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## Edward C. Patterson

This is the fastest growing thread on KB. I'll need to tweet t and invite the world in.   Here's goes the server.

Ed Patterson


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Edward C. Patterson said:


> This is the fastest growing thread on KB. I'll need to tweet t and invite the world in.  Here's goes the server.
> 
> Ed Patterson


Careful, Ed, your covers might get *Davified!!!!*


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## Daniel Arenson

Half-Orc said:


> Careful, Ed, your covers might get *Davified!!!!*


I think Ed is asking for it here... Nobody's covers are safe on this thread!


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## David McAfee

IMPORTANT NEWS UPDATE!

A man dressed as Elvis is seen in this photo leaving a party. No one remembers inviting him, and after the party ended, the homeowners discovered that someone had stolen their bedazzler and over 1,000 rhinestones from their closet. Also missing was a jar of peanut butter, a banana, a can of tuna, a box of Twinkies, a handful of chocolate coverd peanuts, and the homeowner's copy of Englebert Humperdink's Greatest Hits.

Here is a picture of the primary suspect. He is difficult to identify with the big sunglasses on.










However, fortunately for police, at one point during the party he did remove his sunglasses, making him much easier to identify:










If you see this man, please approach with caution. Authorities suspect he may be armed with with a small arsenal of Bedazzlers and rhinestones, and possibly a banana peel.


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

We've recently received word that David McAfee has in fact put on a disguise, hoping that a slight weight gain and increase amount of hair will enable him to pass unnoticed in public.


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## David Derrico

Very good work, guys. Although I have a strong suspicion that the mods are having a conversation something like this:



> "OK, so how's the new 'Writer's Cafe' thing going? Did that accomplish what we hoped?"
> 
> "Well, yes and no. All those damn Davids are over there now, which is good, but we've just changed the location. They're still wreaking havoc, stinking the place up, and generally ruining the neighborhood."
> 
> "Shoot. I thought sticking them all in there would put a lid on them."
> 
> "It seems they can't be contained. Kinda like the smell of bad fish. Or a festering boil."
> 
> "Nice analogies."
> 
> "Thanks. Maybe a whole plague of festering boils, actually. But what are we going to do?"
> 
> "OK, I've got it. We'll make a new sub-forum. No, no, hear me out, I know we tried it once. But the problem there was that we sent ALL the authors to the new sub-forum. This time, we make one JUST for those hooligans. Somewhere they can just bother each other and hopefully drive each other insane. Well, _more_ insane, I should say."
> 
> "Ah, nice. I like it. What should we call it? 'The David Dump'? 'Beware of the Davids'? 'Please for the Love of God Don't Enter Here Unless Your Name is David'?
> 
> "Sure, any of those would work, especially the last one. Even better, we can filter by their usernames and automatically move all their posts in there&#8230;"


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## Sean Sweeney

*Stands and applauds*


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## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> We've recently received word that David McAfee has in fact put on a disguise, hoping that a slight weight gain and increase amount of hair will enable him to pass unnoticed in public.


Like it? That's my new, sexy belly. You should have seen me BEFORE I lost all that wieght.


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## Victorine

I'm so glad my name's not David.

Vicki


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## David McAfee

Thanks, Derrico for the nifty new thread name.


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## Daniel Arenson

If you ask me, you both need to lose a bit of weight....


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## David McAfee

Victorine said:


> I'm so glad my name's not David.
> 
> Vicki


Us, too. It might feminize an otherwise masculine, testosterone inducing name


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## Victorine

Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave. Had twenty-three sons, and she named them all Dave?


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## David McAfee

Victorine said:


> Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave. Had twenty-three sons, and she named them all Dave?


A very wise woman. Did the 23 Dave McCaves misbehave? Were they all brave little Dave McCaves? Or were a few of them cowardly knaves?


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## Debra L Martin

OMG, look what kind of havoc you Davids create when I step away for a few hours....

You know I didn't want to pay this card, but you've forced me to....

"Now all you boys play nice," Mrs. M. says.

"He started it," little Dalglish whines.

"Wasn't me.  I was outside beating up Derrico," McAfee says with a smirk.

Daniel punches McAfee in the arm, "We got him good, huh?"

McAfee grins and throws dagger eyes at little Dalglish. "You're next."

"He's doing it again," little Dalglish wails.

"Boys, enough!  No more fighting," Mrs. M shouts.  "If you can't behave yourselves, there will be no more Kindleboards for any of you.  Do you hear me?"

All three boys jerk to attention.

"No more Kindleboards," McAfee whispers.  "Let's behave til she goes to bed."

"Ok" both little Dalglish and Daniel say simultaneously. 

The boys head outside to get away from the wary eye of Mrs. M, but McAfee can't resist and gives little Dalglish one more shove.


And that's the way it goes.....it may be time to call The Proper Authorities....


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## Victorine

David McAfee said:


> A very wise woman. Did the 23 Dave McCaves misbehave? Were they all brave little Dave McCaves? Or were a few of them cowardly knaves?


LOL!

One of my favorite Dr. Seuss shorts. And soon, you'll be reading about Too Many Daves to your little one. 

Vicki


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## J.E.Johnson

My dad's name is David  
-Jenna


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## Edward C. Patterson

My drag name is Davida.  

Miss Chatty Chatsworth


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## bluefrog

Half-Orc said:


> Careful, Ed, your covers might get *Davified!!!!*


I can't believe no one else took up your challenge...


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## ReeseReed

That is awesome!!  Ow, my sides!!


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## Sean Sweeney

*banging head against the head board*


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## Guest

The Proper Authorities is definitely winning this thread, but well done to all!



Victorine said:


> Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave. Had twenty-three sons, and she named them all Dave?


This is a clutch Dr. Seuss reference!

Also, I never liked the Neverending Story. I knew it was lame and I was only five years old. Ferngully was where it's at!


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## Dawn McCullough White

bluefrog said:


> I can't believe no one else took up your challenge...


_Great!!_


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## J.E.Johnson

foreverjuly said:


> Also, I never liked the Neverending Story. I knew it was lame and I was only five years old. Ferngully was where it's at!


What?! I love the Neverending Story ! Just watched it yesterday. So do you hate Labyrinth and the Dark Crystal too? How about Willow? . . . That being said, along with my complete disagreement with you in regards to Neverending Story, I wanted to add that I DO agree with you on Ferngully; it does rock . 
-Jenna


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## Guest

J.E.Johnson said:


> What?! I love the Neverending Story ! Just watched it yesterday. So do you hate Labyrinth and the Dark Crystal too? How about Willow?


Are those aspects of the Neverending story? I just found the flying dog repulsive and the storyline dull. Course that was when I was 7, and I sure haven't tried it again since.


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## Chad Winters

I vote that next Photoshop fight, we pick more ummm "photogenic" combatants..... 



Spoiler



I kid!!! I kid!!!


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## Daniel Arenson

J.E.Johnson said:


> What?! I love the Neverending Story ! Just watched it yesterday. So do you hate Labyrinth and the Dark Crystal too? How about Willow?


I love Labyrinth, Dark Crystal, and Willow!


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## Archer

Ferngully: The first 'Avatar'!


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## Edward C. Patterson

Dawn McCullough White said:


> _Great!!_


Too busy . . . writing.  8,000 words yesterday.

Ed Patterson


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## David McAfee

bluefrog said:


> I can't believe no one else took up your challenge...


*sigh* story of my life...

I'm going to have to change the name of this thread again...


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## Edward C. Patterson

Well, so much for copyrights.  

ECP


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## David McAfee

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> I vote that next Photoshop fight, we pick more ummm "photogenic" combatants.....


So.... uh... what are you saying, Chad? Hmmmm? (David's finger hovers above the button that will display those embarassing pictures of Chad dancing the Macarena with a dead fish in his trousers to the whole world)


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## Guest

archer said:


> Ferngully: The first 'Avatar'!


Bingo. I also loved the Pocahontas rewrite. Actually, I've still never seen Avatar. It's scandalous how hard it is to find a movie theater in Japan. That's one thing I sure won't miss.


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## Daniel Arenson

I just worry what'll happen if Kristen joins this conversation, what with those bare chests on her book covers... I'm not sure I want to see the Davids on those!


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## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> I just worry what'll happen if Kristen joins this conversation, what with those bare chests on her book covers... I'm not sure I want to see the Davids on those!


PFFT!

Whose chest do you think that is on her covers? That pic is back from my days as a male model. The pay was good, but Ed kept sending me flowers and mash notes, so I had to quit.


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## Daniel Arenson

David McAfee said:


> Who's chest do you think that is on her covers? That pic is back from my days as a male model.


Back from THOSE days? Kristen's books were published in 1927?


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## Edward C. Patterson

So much for branding.


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## Chad Winters

Ohh please just don't let them start breaking out HUGH!!!


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## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> Back from THOSE days? Kristen's books were published in 1927?


You've never once asked me how old I am...


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## Daniel Arenson

David McAfee said:


> You've never once asked me how old I am...


You're like me... in the 30s club. Unlike young David the whippersnapper half-orc.


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

*does the 20s dance while he still can*


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## Edward C. Patterson

I still do a naked conga dance in stiletto heels at age 63. And I'm half blind (and if you spot me, you might be too). You girls don't knoiw how to dance to the clearing at the end of the path, thankee sai, hallelujah, God-bomb!  

Edward C. Patterson
Holding up the pillars of Stonewall


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## Dawn McCullough White

David McAfee said:


> PFFT!
> 
> Who's chest do you think that is on her covers? That pic is back from my days as a male model. The pay was good, but Ed kept sending me flowers and mash notes, so I had to quit.


_Ohh right, right. I knew I recognized you from somewhere. Right Said Fred? Am I correct?

Dawn_


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## David McAfee

Dawn McCullough White said:


> _Ohh right, right. I knew I recognized you from somewhere. Right Said Fred? Am I correct?
> 
> Dawn_


I'm too sexy for this thread.


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## Betsy the Quilter

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> Ohh please just don't let them start breaking out HUGH!!!


Did someone mention Hugh?










Betsy


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## Betsy the Quilter

Edward C. Patterson said:


> So much for branding.


----------



## Leslie

Hugh and.... Hibbing....


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## Betsy the Quilter

I'm sure there's someone named David living in Hibbing....

Betsy


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## Edward C. Patterson

I'm dure there's someone named Hibbing living in David.  

Ed Patterson


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## David McAfee

I'm sure there's someone named Brain living in the otherwise empty village known as Ed's Head.


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## Edward C. Patterson

Well, it's the short term memory that goes first, but the stuff that matters lingers on.

Ed Patterson


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## J.E.Johnson

foreverjuly said:


> Are those aspects of the Neverending story? I just found the flying dog repulsive and the storyline dull. Course that was when I was 7, and I sure haven't tried it again since.


Ahem, Valcor is a _dragon_ . . . and even if the storyline seemed dull, you had to love the other characters! The Rock Biter, the racing snail, Artex and Atreyu!!! (not sure if any of those are spelled correctly ). I will admit that when they played it in the local indie theater when I was in college, all us fantasy nerds did snigger at some of Valcor's lines - oh, the connotations one doesn't pick up on as a child! 
-Jenna


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## Sean Sweeney

My God, how crazy this thread has become.


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## Daniel Arenson

J.E.Johnson said:


> Ahem, Valcor is a _dragon_ . . . and even if the storyline seemed dull, you had to love the other characters! The Rock Biter, the racing snail, Artex and Atreyu!!! (not sure if any of those are spelled correctly ). I will admit that when they played it in the local indie theater when I was in college, all us fantasy nerds did snigger at some of Valcor's lines - oh, the connotations one doesn't pick up on as a child!
> -Jenna


He's a "luck dragon" to be exact; which seems to be part dragon, part dog, all pink and fluffy.


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## Edward C. Patterson

John Fitch V said:


> My God, how crazy this thread has become.


Yes, I always do my best to visit those in Bedlam. 

Ed Patterson


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## David McAfee

Edward C. Patterson said:


> Yes, I always do my best to visit those in Bedlam.
> 
> Ed Patterson


Visit? _Visit?_ when do you ever _leave_ bedlam?


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## Edward C. Patterson

David McAfee said:


> Visit? _Visit?_ when do you ever _leave_ bedlam?


Every day at 3:45. (I work in Bethelem, PA - get it! get it! Bedlam - Bethlehem. In fact, the natives here (and I'm not a native. I'm a New Yawker) pronounce it Beth'lem).

Ed Patterson
(sitting in a building in the old Bedlam Steel Works)


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## David McAfee

Edward C. Patterson said:


> Every day at 3:45. (I work in Bethelem, PA - get it! get it! Bedlam - Bethlehem. In fact, the natives here (and I'm not a native. I'm a New Yawker) pronounce it Beth'lem).
> 
> Ed Patterson
> (sitting in a building in the old Bedlam Steel Works)


*snort* and out come the puns.

PUNS, I said! PUNS! Get your minds outta the gutter, people!


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## Victorine

foreverjuly said:


> Are those aspects of the Neverending story? I just found the flying dog repulsive and the storyline dull. Course that was when I was 7, and I sure haven't tried it again since.


The Neverending Story rocks. We had the soundtrack... on record! Ha ha ha ha! Great soundtrack. Loved it. And when you play the title song on high speed it cracks you up.



Vicki


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## Sean Sweeney

What's a record?


----------



## Edward C. Patterson

David McAfee said:


> *snort* and out come the puns.
> 
> PUNS, I said! PUNS! Get your minds outta the gutter, people!


No pun. Beldam is cockney for St. Mary of Bethlehem Assylum (St. Mary in cockney is Simmery and the street is called Simmery Axe).

Edward C. Patterson


----------



## Victorine

John Fitch V said:


> What's a record?


*Smacks John Fitch upside the head*


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Victorine said:


> *Smacks John Fitch upside the head*


A line forms. 

Betsy


----------



## Daniel Arenson

I can't believe this thread has hit page 6.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

HEY! I'm calling security!


----------



## David McAfee

John Fitch V said:


> HEY! I'm calling security!


What are you going to call them? I recommend not calling them stupid @*#!ers.


----------



## Debra L Martin

David McAfee said:


> What are you going to call them? I recommend not calling them stupid @*#!ers.


Where are The Proper Authorities when you need them? This thread is out of control.


----------



## The Proper Authorities

Deb Martin said:


> Where are The Proper Authorities when you need them? This thread is out of control.


We have quarantined the area. Until we get backup, we're content to let things continue, assuming they stay confined to the NEVERENDING thread.

The Proper Authorities.


----------



## Edward C. Patterson

Gone too Far? It's gone Dafur.

Ed P


----------



## R. M. Reed

Have you seen The Neverending Story 3? Now that's a bad movie.


----------



## Victorine

R. Reed said:


> Have you seen The Neverending Story 3? Now that's a bad movie.


Now I'll agree with that one. There's a thread waiting to happen... really horrible sequels.

Vicki


----------



## terryr

As I am reading the latest additions to this thread, all of a sudden I am hearing "Sweet Betsy From Pike" playing over and over in my head.

I think I need to go edit some more...


----------



## drenee

John Fitch V said:


> My God, how crazy this thread has become.


Could you point me in the direction of the part that's not crazy?
deb


----------



## David McAfee

Victorine said:


> Now I'll agree with that one. There's a thread waiting to happen... really horrible sequels.
> 
> Vicki


Speaking of awful sequels...










_That's _ for throwing spaghetti at me. 

*ducks*


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Hahahahaha


----------



## Linda S. Prather Author

You guys are fantastic!  Thank you for the laughs.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

drenee said:


> Could you point me in the direction of the part that's not crazy?
> deb


I would if I could.


----------



## Chad Winters

John Fitch V said:


> What's a record?


In the olden days..they used to put their music on frisbees and somehow the air flying past the grooves in the disc would cause the sound to reissue....in something called "analog" fashion. unfortunately because the frisbee was flying thru the air...there was no way to fast forward, rewind or skip tracks or shuffle your songs. (but they did have playlists which they called "LPs")


----------



## Victorine

David McAfee said:


> Speaking of awful sequels...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _That's _ for throwing spaghetti at me.
> 
> *ducks*












Y'all have too much time on your hands...

*snicker*

Vicki


----------



## David McAfee

* PSSSST! Just for the record, David M _loves_ the cover of _Not What She Seems_. Shhhhhh! Don't tell Vic, though. *


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Yeeeah. I've got a more 'realistic' version of Vicki's book










David Dalglish


----------



## Sean Sweeney

*Beating my heel into the wall*


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Wait a minute... all this time, I thought "Not What She Seems" was the story of Ed in drag.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

I think I dated a girl like that... oh my.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

T.L. Haddix said:


> Like the girl who called during the ballgame or the girl who was like Ed in drag?


Maybe it WAS Ed in drag.


----------



## Victorine

OMGosh, I'm laughing soooo hard. Y'all are going to get it when I have some photoshop time on my hands. 



David McAfee said:


> * PSSSST! Just for the record, David M _loves_ the cover of _Not What She Seems_. Shhhhhh! Don't tell Vic, though. *


Awe, thanks McAfee! I think your covers are awesome... but I can't wait to "improve" them a little bit... 

Leaving now to take the kids to a late night girl scout swim party at the pool. Fun!

Vicki


----------



## Edward C. Patterson

Gentlemen, even I have standards.

Ed Patterson


----------



## Chad Winters

Edward C. Patterson said:


> Gentlemen, even I have standards.
> 
> Ed Patterson


True, but I notice you didn't state how high they were.


----------



## Jay Hartman

<walking out in his finest Sam the Eagle pose>

AHEM! You are all....weirdos!

<goes back into his dressing room backstage at the Muppet show>


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Jay Hartman said:


> <walking out in his finest Sam the Eagle pose>
> 
> AHEM! You are all....weirdos!
> 
> <goes back into his dressing room backstage at the Muppet show>


----------



## Jay Hartman

Ok, that was sixteen shades of effing AWESOMENESS, Orcster.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Jay Hartman said:


> Ok, that was sixteen shades of effing AWESOMENESS, Orcster.


It's what I do


----------



## bluefrog

Watch it, Sam. Velixar will draft you into his army.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Half-Orc said:


> It's what I do


----------



## Sean Sweeney

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

Nothing can top that. I have spoken.


----------



## terryr




----------



## Chad Winters

If I'd known Sam the Eagle had a body like that...I would have watched more often!


----------



## David McAfee

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> If I'd known Sam the Eagle had a body like that...I would have watched more often!


You just weren't paying attention...and anyway, that's not Sam. That's Ed in drag.


----------



## Victorine

*Posts and runs away*

Vicki


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I'm giggling like mad at the sexy eagle, but SGTMH has a pretty good cover, too....


----------



## David McAfee

Oy. More bald jokes. Oy.

Sam the Eagle and I are not pleased.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

David McAfee said:


> Oy. More bald jokes. Oy.
> 
> Sam the Eagle and I are not pleased.


I noticed Sam is an American Bald Eagle... just sayin'....


----------



## David McAfee

And yet another name change for the weirdest thread on KB.


----------



## bluefrog

hmmmm...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Okay, I solemnly vow to not use any more hair jokes.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish




----------



## Betsy the Quilter

David McAfee said:


> And yet another name change for _the weirdest thread on KB_.


A pretty bald bold statement

I think it says something that the "weirdest thread on KB" is here in the Writers' Cafe....  Not sure what it says, just sayin'.

Betsy


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

It means that this is where all the creative, mentally-unstable people hang out. Stuff like this is bound to happen, at least until all the Davids are expelled.

David Dalglish


----------



## David McAfee

Betsy the Quilter said:


> A pretty bald bold statement
> 
> I think it says something that the "weirdest thread on KB" is here in the Writers' Cafe....  Not sure what it says, just sayin'.
> 
> Betsy


It's my fault. I'm too strange to be among "normal" people, so every once in a while I have to wander into the asylum and stir up the inmates.


----------



## Brenda Carroll

I agree with one of the Davids: No more hair jokes. Let's get on with something else.


----------



## OliviaD

Heeey! I didn't know that the half-orcs were cosmetologists.  Wow.  I might enjoy reading about them.  Do they own their own shop?  Are the books anything like "Don't Mess with the Zohan?"


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Oh man, what I'd give to have Tarlak say "Oh grooovy" in my books somewhere.


----------



## David McAfee

I keep waiting for someone to post a pic of Kermit in drag...


----------



## bluefrog

David McAfee said:


> I keep waiting for someone to post a pic of Kermit in drag...


Ask, and ye shall receive.


----------



## David McAfee

Thanks, Karen. But you shouldn't have censored the image. The viewers all want to know what Kermit is saying. So I did some digging, and after several long, arduous minutes hours of hard work and investigative finesse, I made up found out what was on Kermit's mind in that particular picture.

To everyone reading, the truth is quite shocking. Only continue if you think you are strong enough to handle the truth. But be warned; the implications aren't pretty.










Apparently, after Dalglish refused to take Kermit to dinner, there was a bit of a spat. Some plates were thrown, a few insults were exchanged, but afterward they made up. And no, even I am not sick enough to go into detail on that one. All I will say is it involved some colorful language in the orcish tongue, but that's all you're getting out of me. Weirdos!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

I wonder what group we're going to exploit next... Lamb Chop?


----------



## David McAfee

John Fitch V said:


> I wonder what group we're going to exploit next... Lamb Chop?


Nothing is sacred.


----------



## Chad Winters

John Fitch V said:


> I wonder what group we're going to exploit next... Lamb Chop?


Too easy



Spoiler



I mean it's a sheep with a fist up its butt.... You can't make that any worse


----------



## terryr

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> Too easy
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> I mean it's a sheep with a fist up its butt.... You can't make that any worse


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Don't make me bring the cattle prod in here...


Betsy


----------



## Edward C. Patterson

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Don't make me bring the cattle prod in here...
> 
> 
> Betsy


No, Betsy. We're into sheep now and a cattle prod will not be the proper tool for the job. 

Edward C. Baaaahterson


----------



## Chad Winters

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Don't make me bring the cattle prod in here...
> 
> 
> Betsy


Dude!! I thought fists were bad enough but that is just wrong! You need help....


----------



## Cindy416

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> Dude!! I thought fists were bad enough but that is just wrong! You need help....


Just when I thought this thread couldn't sink any lower.


----------



## David McAfee

Cindy416 said:


> Just when I thought this thread couldn't sink any lower.


Oh, I dunno. Given the many strange and twisted personalities that haunt the Writer's Cafe, myself included, I think this thread can sink much, much lower.

I wouldn't be surprised to see Oligart don a Wonder Woman costume in the next hour or so and then dance the limbo with John Fitch V (who will probably be wearing a big costume shaped like the number 200).


----------



## Cindy416

David McAfee said:


> Oh, I dunno. Given the many strange and twisted personalities that haunt the Writer's Cafe, myself included, I think this thread can sink much, much lower.
> 
> I wouldn't be surprised to see Oligart don a Wonder Woman costume in the next hour or so and then dance the limbo with John Fitch V (who will probably be wearing a big costume shaped like the number 200).


I think I may have to give writing a try just so I don't feel like an interloper here.  I HAVE frequented cafes quite a bit in my life. Maybe I can justify my occasional visit here that way. I do calligraphy, and always got great grades in composition classes back before the earth's crust cooled.


----------



## Debra L Martin

David McAfee said:


> Oh, I dunno. Given the many strange and twisted personalities that haunt the Writer's Cafe, myself included, I think this thread can sink much, much lower.
> 
> I wouldn't be surprised to see Oligart don a Wonder Woman costume in the next hour or so and then dance the limbo with John Fitch V (who will probably be wearing a big costume shaped like the number 200).


You said it....I'm waiting...where's the pic? Come on, don't just threaten us with such tantalizing images.


----------



## Cindy416

David McAfee said:


> Oh, I dunno. Given the many strange and twisted personalities that haunt the Writer's Cafe, myself included, I think this thread can sink much, much lower.
> 
> I wouldn't be surprised to see Oligart don a Wonder Woman costume in the next hour or so and then dance the limbo with John Fitch V (who will probably be wearing a big costume shaped like the number 200).


I admire ANYONE who can limbo. Bring on the photos.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Sorry guys, me in a wonder woman costume just ain't gonna happen...


----------



## Cindy416

Half-Orc said:


> Sorry guys, me in a wonder woman costume just ain't gonna happen...


Don't you mean "not in public?"


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Nah, in private, I wear a batman costume.


----------



## Cindy416

Half-Orc said:


> Nah, in private, I wear a batman costume.


I can only imagine why. LOL.


----------



## Edward C. Patterson

Actually, I rarely wear clothes. They make me look fat.  

Ed Patterson


----------



## Cindy416

Edward C. Patterson said:


> Actually, I rarely wear clothes. They make me look fat.
> 
> Ed Patterson


Wow, Ed! Maybe that's been MY problem all along. Will have to give that some thought. 

Time's up. I thought about it. Nope. My fat makes me look fat. Can't blame it on the clothes.


----------



## David McAfee

Cindy416 said:


> I think I may have to give writing a try just so I don't feel like an interloper here.  I HAVE frequented cafes quite a bit in my life. Maybe I can justify my occasional visit here that way. I do calligraphy, and always got great grades in composition classes back before the earth's crust cooled.


You totally should. I'd read it. 



Half-Orc said:


> Sorry guys, me in a wonder woman costume just ain't gonna happen...


heh heh. PhotoShop is a beautiful thing. As I'll prove when I get home. 



Edward C. Patterson said:


> Actually, I rarely wear clothes. They make me look fat.
> 
> Ed Patterson


Really? All my fat makes me look fat.


----------



## Victorine

David McAfee said:


> Really? All my fat makes me look fat.


Ha ha ha! I was just going to say that.



Cindy416 said:


> I think I may have to give writing a try just so I don't feel like an interloper here.  I HAVE frequented cafes quite a bit in my life. Maybe I can justify my occasional visit here that way. I do calligraphy, and always got great grades in composition classes back before the earth's crust cooled.


Yes! Give it a try! I'd read it. 

Vicki


----------



## Edward C. Patterson

Cindy416 said:


> Wow, Ed! Maybe that's been MY problem all along. Will have to give that some thought.
> 
> Time's up. I thought about it. Nope. My fat makes me look fat. Can't blame it on the clothes.


True story - I once was at a gay bathing suit-optional pool party, and a snooty queen came up to my naked self and said. "There _*are*_ such things as bathing suits," to which I replied. "I look _*terrible * _ in a bathing suit, dear." (moon )

Ed Patterson


----------



## Cindy416

Edward C. Patterson said:


> True story - I once was at a gay bathing suit-optional pool party, and a snooty queen came up to my naked self and said. "There _*are*_ such things as bathing suits," to which I replied. "I look _*terrible * _ in a bathing suit, dear." (moon )
> 
> Ed Patterson


Great reply, Ed. I'd say you were thinking on your feet, but you didn't say if you were sitting, standing, etc.


----------



## Cindy416

David McAfee said:


> You totally should. I'd read it.


Thanks for your vote of confidence, David. Wish I had the time to write. Maybe once I'm completely retired from teaching. Megan, Kelli, and I are going to put together a cookbook which will have some of our ramblings included. Maybe that will be my start. Actually, I'm contemplating the start of a blog. So far, that's as far as I've taken it. Years ago, the librarian at my school said I could have, and should have written books like the earlier Janet Evanovich ones. Wish I'd done that!


----------



## Edward C. Patterson

Cindy416 said:


> Great reply, Ed. I'd say you were thinking on your feet, but you didn't say if you were sitting, standing, etc.


Actually, I was shopping. 

Ed P


----------



## Cindy416

Edward C. Patterson said:


> Actually, I was shopping.
> 
> Ed P


Browsing, were you??


----------



## David McAfee

Edward C. Patterson said:


> Actually, I was shopping.
> 
> Ed P


Shopping? I thought you said you were at a party. What could you have been shopping for at poolside with all the guys and the optional bathing suits and... and...

Oh.

Never mind.


----------



## Debra L Martin

Cindy416 said:


> Thanks for your vote of confidence, David. Wish I had the time to write. Maybe once I'm completely retired from teaching. Megan, Kelli, and I are going to put together a cookbook which will have some of our ramblings included. Maybe that will be my start. Actually, I'm contemplating the start of a blog. So far, that's as far as I've taken it. Years ago, the librarian at my school said I could have, and should have written books like the earlier Janet Evanovich ones. Wish I'd done that!


It's never too late. If you're breathing, then you still have time...


----------



## David McAfee

Deb Martin said:


> It's never too late. If you're breathing, then you still have time...


Yeah, just look at Ed. I mean, he partied with Plato, for cryin' out loud.


----------



## Cindy416

David McAfee said:


> Yeah, just look at Ed. I mean, he partied with Plato, for cryin' out loud.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

David McAfee said:


> Yeah, just look at Ed. I mean, he partied with Plato, for cryin' out loud.


Plato would frequent bathing-suit-optional pool parties?


----------



## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> Plato would frequent bathing-suit-optional pool parties?


All the time. He even invented a party game for such occasions, but this being a family-friendly forum, I ain't gonna go there.


----------



## Edward C. Patterson

I'll give your regards to Lao Tzu.


----------



## David McAfee

Edward C. Patterson said:


> I'll give your regards to Lao Tzu.


And Tut. Don't forget Tut.


----------



## terryr

David McAfee said:


> And Tut. Don't forget Tut.


Great... now I have this in my head.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=28386077


----------



## 911jason

I just google "______ smiley" inserting whatever emotion I'm looking for and then click on the IMAGE results at the top... you'll usually find some good ones that way.


----------



## terryr

I used to admin several vBulletin community boards, and have stashes of smileys/graphics still on my hard drive that I like to use once in a while. So I upload them to my web site and insert them in here as images.


----------



## Edward C. Patterson

David McAfee said:


> And Tut. Don't forget Tut.


Tush?  Actually, I'll say hi to some highly placed gay historic figures. I'll give your regards to Frederick the Great, Alexander the Great, General Von Steuben (the West Point guy) and, speaking of Alexanders - Alex Hamilton (a queer as the $10 bill, as we say). (Shh - don;t wake up Achilles and Patraclus)

Ed Patterson


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Nothing is sacred... not the muppets, nothing...


----------



## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> Nothing is sacred... not the muppets, nothing...


It's a new movie from WB: _Grumpy Old Pimps._ Look for it next Summer.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Followed by the sequel, as yet untitled:


----------



## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> Followed by the sequel, as yet untitled:


I think that one is called _Muppetz N The Hood._


----------



## traceya

Just read through this thread - laughing so hard can barely type   

What would the world be without David's mixing things up    Oh, Sane - that's right


----------



## traceya

T.L. Haddix said:


> Sanity is highly overrated. Believe me.


Too true - always check my 'so-called sanity' at the door when entering the Writer's Cafe


----------



## David McAfee

traceya said:


> Too true - always check my 'so-called sanity' at the door when entering the Writer's Cafe


I'd check mine, but years of experience have taught me not to bother. No sense looking in your piggy bank when you already know the only things you're gonna find in there are dust bunnies, a dried up raisin, and a button.


----------



## Cindy416

David McAfee said:


> I'd check mine, but years of experience have taught me not to bother. No sense looking in your piggy bank when you already know the only things you're gonna find in there are dust bunnies, a dried up raisin, and a button.


     (I can laugh, as I'm in the same boat, but have had many more years in which to discover my predicament.)


----------



## bluefrog

David McAfee said:


> No sense looking in your piggy bank when you already know the only things you're gonna find in there are dust bunnies, a dried up raisin, and a button.


That makes me think of when I was a very little girl and I would put a couple of my marbles in my piggy bank when I had no money, because I thought he'd get a tummy ache if he was empty.


----------



## terryr

bluefrog said:


> That makes me think of when I was a very little girl and I would put a couple of my marbles in my piggy bank when I had no money, because I thought he'd get a tummy ache if he was empty.


How did you get marbles in through the slot?


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

flat marbles...


Betsy


----------



## 911jason

It probably wasn't one of those old piggy banks where you had to actually break it to get the money out, it probably had a rubber stopper in the belly... either that or she used flat marbles she got from Betsy.


----------



## traceya

I didn't know you could get flat marbles  

I do tend to miss my old piggy bank though... life was so much simpler then


----------



## bluefrog

My piggy bank had a cork for a nose, with a metal ring stuck in it so you could pull it out.

My piggy is in storage back home, so I can't take his picture, but I found a picture just like him.








Marbles fit just fine.


----------



## terryr

LOL, I just had the kind you had to smash when I was a kid and didn't pay attention to them since, I guess. But then later I was watching Toy Story 3 trailer and remembered Hamm from Toy Story had a cork or something in his belly... and thought of COURSE, through the cork.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

traceya said:


> I didn't know you could get flat marbles ??












Betsy


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

How the heck did this thread...

A: reach ten pages?

B: start discussing flat marbles?

C: not get locked when Sesame Street was clearly planning murder?

David Dalglish


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> How the heck did this thread...
> 
> A: reach ten pages?
> 
> B: start discussing flat marbles?
> 
> C: not get locked when Sesame Street was clearly planning murder?
> 
> David Dalglish


Heh. Time for another name change....


----------



## Debra L Martin

Boy, learn something new everyday - never heard of flat marbles before - thanks Betsy for the pic!

McAfee, do you really think Ernie, Bert and Big Bird would do us harm?  I still have all my daughter's old Bert dolls in storage.  Should I be afraid?


----------



## David McAfee

Deb Martin said:


> Boy, learn something new everyday - never heard of flat marbles before - thanks Betsy for the pic!
> 
> McAfee, do you really think Ernie, Bert and Big Bird would do us harm? I still have all my daughter's old Bert dolls in storage. Should I be afraid?


Just don't let Oligart near them. I hear he took that dress back from Kermit and is looking for a new Muppet to cuddle with.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Yup. I dress up four dolls in drag, then sing "one of these things is not like the other, one of these things just isn't the same" before beheading one of them.

David Dalglish


----------



## Debra L Martin

Half-Orc said:


> Yup. I dress up four dolls in drag, then sing "one of these things is not like the other, one of these things just isn't the same" before beheading one of them.
> 
> David Dalglish


OMG....I can't stop laughing....you boys are just too much and it's really not fair for you to be so entertaining when some of us have day jobs we are suppose to be paying attention to.

BTW, if you're looking for a chuckle, you should check out the last image on my blog post today - The Happiness Fairy - yep needless to say, he's my kind of fairy.twoendsofthepen.blogspot.com

Deb


----------



## Victorine

Ha ha ha, your happiness fairy cracked me up.

Vicki


----------



## bluefrog




----------



## Victorine

Ha ha ha ha!

You just won the Photoshop Master award.  You rock!

Vicki


----------



## David McAfee

bluefrog said:


>


OK, _that_ was awesome! Karen, I bow to your superior PhotoShop skills. *bowing*


----------



## Daniel Arenson

No.  This is TOO good to be photoshopped.  It MUST be real.  

Half-orc... how could you?


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

See, this is JUST like Kermit. We'd be dating, and he'd absolutely insist on being the one to choose where we'd eat. And then when I'd finally cave in, he'd complain and whine about everything and then blame ME for the lousy night just because I wasn't "happy" with his choice. So, of course, I'm the villain. And then he goes back with Miss Piggy not once but THREE times, yet I'm the guy with the commitment issues. He's just posing for his Facebook, trying to look all heartbroken and lonely and make it seem like he's all innocent. Stupid frog. Hope he's happy with his dang pig. I'm not upset. Really.

David Dalglish


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> See, this is JUST like Kermit. We'd be dating, and he'd absolutely insist on being the one to choose where we'd eat. And then when I'd finally cave in, he'd complain and whine about everything and then blame ME for the lousy night just because I wasn't "happy" with his choice. So, of course, I'm the villain. And then he goes back with Miss Piggy not once but THREE times, yet I'm the guy with the commitment issues. He's just posing for his Facebook, trying to look all heartbroken and lonely and make it seem like he's all innocent. Stupid frog. Hope he's happy with his dang pig. I'm not upset. Really.
> 
> David Dalglish


Piggy? I thought he spent last night at John Fitch's place...?


----------



## Victorine

*Ducks out of this conversation quick*


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Half-Orc said:


> See, this is JUST like Kermit. We'd be dating, and he'd absolutely insist on being the one to choose where we'd eat. And then when I'd finally cave in, he'd complain and whine about everything and then blame ME for the lousy night just because I wasn't "happy" with his choice. So, of course, I'm the villain. And then he goes back with Miss Piggy not once but THREE times, yet I'm the guy with the commitment issues. He's just posing for his Facebook, trying to look all heartbroken and lonely and make it seem like he's all innocent. Stupid frog. Hope he's happy with his dang pig. I'm not upset. Really.
> 
> David Dalglish


But David... what about your children? Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I don't think I'll be able to sleep well tonight after seeing that pic...


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Half-Orc said:


> I don't think I'll be able to sleep well tonight after seeing that pic...


If that won't give you nightmares, nothing will. It's ten times scarier than any of McAfee's vampires.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Exact quote from my wife as she walked past me toward the fridge:

"Cheating on me with Kermit, can't believe it. He's green! Couldn't you at least do it with something purple?"


----------



## terryr

DArenson said:


> But David... what about your children? Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> I don't think I'll be able to sleep well tonight after seeing that pic...


Me, neither. Oy!



DArenson said:


> If that won't give you nightmares, nothing will. It's ten times scarier than any of McAfee's vampires.


I _wish_ I could write something that scary!



Half-Orc said:


> Exact quote from my wife as she walked past me toward the fridge:
> 
> "Cheating on me with Kermit, can't believe it. He's green! Couldn't you at least do it with something purple?"


Heh. Your wife is awesome.


----------



## traceya

Now I finally understand all those times when Kermit looked so depressed - David I'm more shocked than I can say and does Miss Piggy know


----------



## Sean Sweeney

For the record: I am so glad the pics of me are not on here. What you did to Double D is blasphemous... but oddly exhilerating!


----------



## David McAfee

John Fitch V said:


> For the record: I am so glad the pics of me are not on here. What you did to Double D is blasphemous... but oddly exhilerating!


We do have some pics of you downloaded from facebook.  Just sayin'...


----------



## Daniel Arenson

We've seen David McAfee as Sam the Eagle... we've seen Double D's love child with Kermit... I wonder:  What muppet will John Fitch become?


----------



## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> We've seen David McAfee as Sam the Eagle... we've seen Double D's love child with Kermit... I wonder: What muppet will John Fitch become?


Casting my vote for either Gonzo or Fozzie.


----------



## Debra L Martin

T.L. Haddix said:


> I can't - I just - Oh, dear Lord.
> 
> Thank God for this forum and the Davids. Gonna fall out of my chair now from laughing so hard. Thanks!


Isn't that the truth! If someone packaged all these "David" threads into an ebook, it would sell a million copies and make the world a happier place. Think of all the giggles it would inspire.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Half-Orc said:


> Exact quote from my wife as she walked past me toward the fridge:
> 
> "Cheating on me with Kermit, can't believe it. He's green! Couldn't you at least do it with something purple?"


You mean she hasn't seen this photo? It's all over the 'Net:


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Wife's response: "Well, he is big."

You all are sick.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Half-Orc said:


> Wife's response: "Well, he is big."
> 
> You all are sick.


I think I would like your wife very, very much....

Betsy


----------



## Cindy416

Betsy the Quilter said:


> I think I would like your wife very, very much....
> 
> Betsy


I thought the same thing when I saw and read that.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

We want the "Better-Half-Orc" to join KBoards!!!


Betsy


----------



## julieannfelicity

foreverjuly said:


> Also, I never liked the Neverending Story. I knew it was lame and I was only five years old. Ferngully was where it's at!


Psh - Fergully ... no way, Fraggle Rock was the BEST!

*I just finished reading the whole thread and I'm laughing so hard my cubicle buddies are staring at me like I've got three heads ... you guys are HILARIOUS! Where was I when this first came into play ...*

- Is it just me or does one of the Orcs on David's book resemble Michael Jackson?? (The dude on the bottom right hand corner of 'The Cost of Betrayal')


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Sadly, you are not the first to see that and think Michael Jackson...


----------



## Daniel Arenson

julieannfelicity said:


> Psh - Fergully ... no way, Fraggle Rock was the BEST!


Agreed. Love Fraggle Rock. Today is actually Fraggle Friday; the day John Fitch posts a Fraggle song!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

I haven't posted a Fraggle Friday in WEEKS. Let me see what I can dig up....


----------



## Sean Sweeney

OK, Kinda Fraggly, kinda not... heh


----------



## Andra

bump for one of the funniest threads on KB...


----------



## BTackitt

julieannfelicity said:


> - Is it just me or does one of the Orcs on David's book resemble Michael Jackson?? (The dude on the bottom right hand corner of 'The Cost of Betrayal')





Half-Orc said:


> Sadly, you are not the first to see that and think Michael Jackson...


well I always thought MJ was rather orcish/trollish...


----------



## David McAfee

Wow. It's back!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Ah crap, I have to keep trying to be funny?










David Dalglish


----------



## David McAfee

You could try a _little_ harder...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

David McAfee said:


> You could try a _little_ harder...


Sheesh, thought that was at least competent. Coulda stuck your head on there. Granted, you might have been happy suddenly having hair...

David Dalglish


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> Sheesh, thought that was at least competent. Coulda stuck your head on there. Granted, you might have been happy suddenly having hair...
> 
> David Dalglish


Yeah, true. But that leathered up look just isn't for me. I prefer a fishnet top and Spandex tights. Maybe with a little Officer's cap tilted jauntily to the left.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

David McAfee said:


> Yeah, true. But that leathered up look just isn't for me. I prefer a fishnet top and Spandex tights. Maybe with a little Officer's cap tilted jauntily to the left.


Careful, Ed will show up with you talking like that, and he'll be mightily disappointed when there are no pictures to go with.

David Dalglish


----------



## 911jason

Half-Orc said:


> Ah crap, I have to keep trying to be funny?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> David Dalglish





Half-Orc said:


> It's so....boring


----------



## Susan in VA

Why oh why couldn't I have found this thread while I was still writing papers for my Abnormal Psych class?


----------



## bluefrog

Half-Orc said:


> Careful, Ed will show up with you talking like that, and he'll be mightily disappointed when there are no pictures to go with.
> David Dalglish


Well, we wouldn't want to disappoint Ed.


----------



## David McAfee

Dang! I'm hot!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Someone fan McAfee with a fig leaf, please... he's melting all over my outline.


----------



## Debra L Martin

David McAfee said:


> Dang! I'm hot!


Hmmmm....I thought this was a new thread that I had totally missed because I didn't recognize the title. Glad to see humor is alive and well on the boards today, but where are The Proper Authorities to keep everyone in line? Their appearances are so fleeting. Have they retired already? Is the KB too much for them?


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I think the proper authorities realized a hopeless cause when they saw one.


----------



## Debra L Martin

Half-Orc said:


> I think the proper authorities realized a hopeless cause when they saw one.


Well, if you ever see them again, tell them I liked them!


----------



## Jay Hartman

Umm...I do believe it was **I** who suggested David run the leather route while suggesting his Royal Orcness cage dance. I'm SO disappointed not to receive proper credit. My lawyer will call your lawyer.


----------



## BTackitt

While I love this thread and it's humor... I just want to point out to some of your wonderful writer's who never leave the cafe.... down in NQK there's a great thread on funny videos... go watch some and laugh, if you know of one, go post it, we're laughing alot watching them... 

--
Oh yeah.. and David M in fishnet? YOWZA!


----------



## Guest

BTackitt said:


> While I love this thread and it's humor... I just want to point out to some of your wonderful writer's who never leave the cafe.... down in NQK there's a great thread on funny videos... go watch some and laugh, if you know of one, go post it, we're laughing alot watching them...
> 
> --
> Oh yeah.. and David M in fishnet? YOWZA!


You got it! I know a great video!


----------



## David McAfee

BTackitt said:


> Oh yeah.. and David M in fishnet? YOWZA!


I'm... too sexy for this shirt. Too sext for this shirt. So sexy it huuu-uuurts...


----------



## Dawn McCullough White

David McAfee said:


> I'm... too sexy for this shirt. Too sext for this shirt. So sexy it huuu-uuurts...


I KNEW it!!!


----------



## traceya

David McAfee said:


> I'm... too sexy for this shirt. Too sext for this shirt. So sexy it huuu-uuurts...


Does that make you too sexy for this thread??


----------



## David McAfee

traceya said:


> Does that make you too sexy for this thread??


Of course it does. Sheesh. It's like you didn't even _look_ at the fishnet pic...


----------



## terryr

David McAfee said:


> Of course it does. Sheesh. It's like you didn't even _look_ at the fishnet pic...


Sorry, David... the only thing in a fishnet that gets me excited is a great big salmon!


----------



## Susan in VA

No.  All you people with Photoshop skills, just NO.  Don't even think about it.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

bluefrog said:


> Well, we wouldn't want to disappoint Ed.





David McAfee said:


> Of course it does. Sheesh. It's like you didn't even _look_ at the fishnet pic...


Just in case someone missed it... 

Betsy


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Just in case someone missed it...
> 
> Betsy


I was trying to forget it!


----------



## Susan in VA

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Just in case someone missed it...
> 
> Betsy


Disturbing as it is, it's still not as bad as... _that_ picture, may it stay buried in someone's Photobucket forever.


----------



## BTackitt

Are we talking _ THAT ONE_ again?? Oh Susan why would you brint _ THAT ONE _ up in even semi polite conversation


----------



## Susan in VA

Semi-polite?  Have you checked out the rest of this thread?


----------



## Susan in VA

You really don't want to know.     Trust me.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Now I'm curious and must know.


----------



## Victorine

Oh yeah, you must show THAT picture.  Now we're all curious.

Vicki


----------



## Susan in VA

OMG what have I done....   <runs and hides>


----------



## BTackitt

DO Not DO IT SUSAN!!!!!!! 
Oh for the love of whatever deity you hold dear, do NOT do it.. we will all go blind.
I don't CARE that he was once(or more) voted Sexiest Man alive, I don't CARE that he has a voice made of SIN.. DO NOT SHOW THAT PICTURE!


----------



## Daniel Arenson

"PICTURE!  PICTURE!  PICTURE!"

(I have a strange feeling I'm going to regret this, once I see said picture....)


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I have no freaking clue what's going on, and this is my own dang thread.


----------



## BTackitt

TRUST me on this people.. Not even ALL of you writers combined can come up with anything as horrific as _ THAT_ picture.


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> I have no freaking clue what's going on, and this is my own dang thread.


um... No, it isn't. You thread thief!


----------



## BTackitt

Susan in VA said:


> OMG what have I done....   <runs and hides>


You liar.. you're not hiding.. You are looking for that


Spoiler



damn


 picture aren't you Susan?


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

I can't bring myself to have it in Photoshop long enough to put anyone's head on it...so here it is unretouched...









Betsy


----------



## Daniel Arenson

I knew I'd regret it....


----------



## BTackitt

and there was a collective shudder on KB once again.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

David McAfee said:


> um... No, it isn't. You thread thief!


]

Crap, you're right. *apologizes to McAfee*

You may take the full blame for this travesty, then.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Oh the humanity!

I'm going to leave now... and spend a while washing my eyes.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Half-Orc said:


> ]
> 
> Crap, you're right. *apologizes to McAfee*
> 
> You may take the full blame for this travesty, then.


Oh, sure, NOW you don't want to own the thread...


Betsy


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Betsy the Quilter said:


> I can't bring myself to have it in Photoshop long enough to put anyone's head on it...so here it is unretouched...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Betsy


I think I dated a girl that looked like that once.... oy.


----------



## BTackitt

I tried.. I really tried.. to spare you all... to spare you.. instead you encouraged Susan who brought in Betsy.. and I won't stand in front of a cattle prod ever again.


----------



## Susan in VA

Ahem.  I did NOT bring in Betsy.  I was off making tea.  And I was NOT looking for that abomination in MY Photobucket.  MY Photobucket has cats and flowers in it.    And a few KB-meetup photos.  Nothing even remotely as scary as that... that... thing.

But I really like the "voice made of sin" part, BT.


----------



## BTackitt

Next time I guess I'll try borrowing Scarlet's Dom gear.. although.. it didn't fit to well last time...


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Is that a cattle prod in her hand?

Betsy


----------



## BTackitt

well.. Scarlet won't give up the whip, something about how I'm not mean enough to use it... so yeah I snuck in and borrowed yours...


----------



## pidgeon92

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Is that a cattle prod in her hand?


Could be Ann's flute?


----------



## luvmy4brats

Running off to bleach my eyes...

I had hoped never to see THAT picture again!

And it doesn't look like a cattle prod. It looks like a light-saber. <ducks and runs>


----------



## Susan in VA

No. no... didn't I see something like that on a book cover here a couple of days ago?


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

God I hope that's just a cattle prod.


----------



## Edward C. Patterson

Betsy the Quilter said:


> I can't bring myself to have it in Photoshop long enough to put anyone's head on it...so here it is unretouched...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Betsy


Too much hair.

ECP


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Yes, except for the hair, everything else is perfect.  

Betsy


----------



## Victorine

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

My husband happened to be walking by while I was reading this thread and saw THAT picture.

"Oh my gosh," he said.  "What...?"  And that was all that came out of his mouth.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Now put one of the Davids' head on it.  Mwa ha ha ha!

Vicki


----------



## Susan in VA

Victorine said:


> Now put one of the Davids' head on it. Mwa ha ha ha!


At least that would fit in with the thread title again.


----------



## BTackitt

OH are we back to fabrics again? I don't think that's leather Susan.. but... maybe it could be re-draped to ... heck hide the whole picture? NO, there's just not enough fabric there...maybe if his hair was out of the braid he could hide behind it?


----------



## Susan in VA

I was thinking of the boots.  

Though since it was a pretty low-budget movie, they're probably plastic, come to think of it.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Victorine said:


> Now put one of the Davids' head on it. Mwa ha ha ha!


----------



## David McAfee

Betsy the Quilter said:


>


HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

I think I just peed myself!

What movie is that from, anyway?


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

David McAfee said:


> HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
> 
> I think I just peed myself!
> 
> What movie is that from, anyway?


Zardoz from 1974.

Betsy


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I think I just died a little.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Hey, it's Sean Connery's body--the sexiest man alive...can't be all bad, can it?

Betsy


----------



## David McAfee

Hahaahahaaaahahaaahaahahhhhahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Can't.... stop.... laughing......

Need....to ....switch.... office chairs.... before cubicle naighbor comes in....

Aaaahahahahahaha! Hohohohoaaaaaaaahahahahahaha!

Dang. I just laughed up a lung..... MEDIC!


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

OK, McAfee is enjoying himself a little too much...


----------



## bluefrog

I couldn't let Half-Orc David suffer alone...









Ooops, I guess Betsy and I were working on the same project.


----------



## Debra L Martin

OMG people...some of us work in an office!!!  I can't ever open another "David" thread while I'm at work...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Egad! McAfee, tag this thing NSFW already! YEesh. I think I'm gonna throw up.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

All I can say is:  Thank GOD my name's not David.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

bluefrog said:


> I couldn't let Half-Orc David suffer alone...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ooops, I guess Betsy and I were working on the same project.


Oh, I so love yout version...but, yeah, I stepped away from a quilt to do that. Shoulda waited a bit longer, but McAfee was having too much fun!

Betsy


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> Egad! McAfee, tag this thing NSFW already! YEesh. I think I'm gonna throw up.


NSFW?

Hey, I look good in red. Might have to take out that old outfit and walk down the street like that...


----------



## Susan in VA

Not Safe For Work.

And I'm feeling queasy now.


----------



## Chad Winters

I just threw up in my mouth a little.........


----------



## BTackitt

I went to bed laughing sooo hard last night.. and I wake up today to the Zardoz Twin Davids,...... HAHHAHAHA omg.. breathe... HAHHAHAHHAH...
one of my sons arrived last night, and his words were, "that is just SO wrong in SO many ways.. what the He..ck is wrong with you people?!?!?" -he's 17.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

What the heck is wrong with us? I dunno, that could be a novel in its own right.


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> What the heck is wrong with us? I dunno, that could be a novel in its own right.


A novel? Hmmm.... I'm thinking it'd be more of a Thesis for a Psych major.


----------



## terryr

Zardoz. I just found a trailer for that... movie. Now I need brain brillo and to watch _Darby O'Gill and the Little People_ about five times as therapy.


----------



## Susan in VA

T.M. Roy said:


> Zardoz. I just found a trailer for that... movie. Now I need brain brillo and to watch _Darby O'Gill and the Little People_ about five times as therapy.


I think you really need to post a link to that trailer here, for those poor souls who have not had the pleasure.


----------



## luvmy4brats

Susan in VA said:


> I think you really need to post a link to that trailer here, for those poor souls who have not had the pleasure.


That is just wicked and evil.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

*banging head repeatedly on the desk to draw blood and lose consciousness*


----------



## luvmy4brats




----------



## Susan in VA

luvmy4brats said:


> That is just wicked and evil.


Says she, and promptly posts the d*mn thing...

edit to add: Woohoo! I have arrived! That's the first time KB has censored me, in 7333 posts.


----------



## luvmy4brats

Susan in VA said:


> Says she, and promptly posts the d*mn thing...


My children say I'm mean and rotten and have stinky toes... apparently, having stinky toes is the ultimate insult.


----------



## Susan in VA

I'll agree with the mean and rotten.  I do not wish to personally verify the other part.


Now I'm wondering whether those mirrors (at about the 1:45 mark) are the same ones they used in that Bond movie.


----------



## Kristen Painter

Why did I even come in here?


----------



## terryr

LOL... I didn't post the trailer for a reason, but now I see you did. I went into shock after I posted about it...delayed reaction, I guess.


----------



## David McAfee

Kristen Painter said:


> Why did I even come in here?


Obviously, you came in to see the pic of me in the fishnet top. I don't blame you...


----------



## telracs

I'm sorry I ever mentioned THAT MOVIE!


----------



## David McAfee

Has anyone here ever actually seen the movie? Just wondering.


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> Has anyone here ever actually seen the movie? Just wondering.


Yes, I watched it this weekend and mentioned it on the Netflix thread.


----------



## Victorine

Zardoz... Oh man... can't... breathe...

So glad I work from home.

Poor Sean Connery, to have this movie to haunt him for the rest of eternity.  Oh the things some actors will do for money... and probably not much money... ha ha ha ha ha!

And I love the double Davids... that's just classic.

Vicki


----------



## Debra L Martin

I came back from a meeting and even though the thread was clearly marked "NSFW" I couldn't help it and I clicked on it.

Clearly this group need not ever have a psych evaluation, all a poor doc would have to do is look at this thread and everyone would be labeled "mentally unstable" but, with a footnote of course,

"This is so freaking funny....."


----------



## R. M. Reed

I saw it on TV, many years agone. The whole thing makes no more sense than the trailer.
The title comes from wiZARD of OZ.


----------



## BTackitt

I blame Susan. As soon as she brought up _that_ picture, I knew what would happen.. <shakes head> your poor innocense lost... you have all been contaminated... guess you have to be quarrantined here on KB like the rest of us.


----------



## bluefrog

David McAfee said:


> Has anyone here ever actually seen the movie? Just wondering.


I saw it a very long time ago, and mercifully seem to have blocked most of it out.


----------



## David McAfee

Just watched the trailer. Wow. That movie looks... um.... interesting....


----------



## 13893

Not only have I seen this film, but I have a copy of the DVD...


----------



## terryr

scarlet said:


> Yes, I watched it this weekend and mentioned it on the Netflix thread.


You know I'm going to have to watch it now. It sounds like the perfect movie to "MST3K" with. Hmm... wonder if I can do that virtually, get some of my friends on Skype, get on Netflix streaming, and have a virtual Mystery Science Theater session. LOL.


----------



## Victorine

I'd rent the movie but I think I accidentally burned all copies within a 50 mile radius.  

Vicki


----------



## bluefrog

If you'd like a good laugh without having to sit through the whole movie, try this http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8z08s_the-gun-is-good-zardoz-in-10-minute_shortfilms.

Or just read this http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/1913/zardoz/
I laughed so hard I cried.


----------



## Susan in VA

David McAfee said:


> Has anyone here ever actually seen the movie? Just wondering.


Yes, I was subjected to it more than once.


----------



## 13893

"We want to die! What's the trick?"


----------



## Susan in VA

LKRigel said:


> Not only have I seen this film, but I have a copy of the DVD...


 
Wasn't once enough??


----------



## 13893

Susan in VA said:


> Wasn't once enough??


It was a favorite movie of a guy I used to adore (!). Guy's gone. Still have the DVD. As you can see above, I can quote stuff from it!

I remember the deal Sean Connery made to stay alive was he had to impregnate all the women in the village.

Or was that A Boy and His Dog


----------



## bluefrog

LKRigel said:


> "We want to die! What's the trick?"


Is that the plea of everyone watching the movie?


----------



## 13893

Well, I remember I had a horrific headache when it was over.


----------



## David McAfee

T.M. Roy said:


> You know I'm going to have to watch it now.


Me, too.


----------



## Susan in VA

bluefrog said:


> If you'd like a good laugh without having to sit through the whole movie, try this http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8z08s_the-gun-is-good-zardoz-in-10-minute_shortfilms.


Amazingly, this calls the film a "classic".  Classically bad? Classically grotesque?



bluefrog said:


> Or just read this http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/1913/zardoz/
> I laughed so hard I cried.


Ohhh..... I'm saving this for the next time I really need another good laugh!


----------



## Susan in VA

LKRigel said:


> It was a favorite movie of a guy I used to adore (!). Guy's gone. Still have the DVD. As you can see above, I can quote stuff from it!
> 
> I remember the deal Sean Connery made to stay alive was he had to impregnate all the women in the village.
> 
> Or was that A Boy and His Dog


A Boy and His Dog was one of the only two movies I quit watching after fifteen minutes. Usually I think even bad ones MUST get better, and sit through them until the bitter end.

I hope the guy you have now has better taste in movies.


----------



## Susan in VA

I was just thinking that a bunch of people here weren't around for the Worst Movies Thread, and went off in search of that.

I had totally forgotten that I started it. What was I thinking... 

Enjoy. 
http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,6950.msg141937.html#msg141937


----------



## telracs

Did you know that the "slave" Connery shoots (over and over in the 10 minute version) is the director, John Boorman?


----------



## Susan in VA

scarlet said:


> Did you know that the "slave" Connery shoots (over and over in the 10 minute version) is the director, John Boorman?


Well, _somebody_ needed to.


----------



## telracs

Susan in VA said:


> Well, _somebody_ needed to.


Yeah, but by then it was too late.


----------



## luvmy4brats

Anybody that decides to put Sean Connery in an orange diaper with suspenders deserves to be shot.


----------



## Susan in VA

Yeah, orange is SO not his color.  

Had it been a blue diaper.....


----------



## telracs

luvmy4brats said:


> Anybody that decides to put Sean Connery in an orange diaper with suspenders deserves to be shot.


and has him "taking" a woman with the diaper still on....

especially after his "god" tells them that the


Spoiler



penis


 is evil....


----------



## Archer

This is gettin' into a weird area...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

archer said:


> This is gettin' into a weird area...


Gettin'? I thought we were there 5 pages ago.


----------



## luvmy4brats

Half-Orc said:


> Gettin'? I thought we were there 5 pages ago.


Only 5?


----------



## telracs

luvmy4brats said:


> Only 5?


15..


----------



## David McAfee

I though we screamed past Weird when someone posted a pic of David D and Kermit's love child...


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

LKRigel said:


> I remember the deal Sean Connery made to stay alive was he had to impregnate all the women in the village.


Another movie with a similar theme is "Hell Comes to Frogtown"





Betsy


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Sheesh, how many pages ago did Bluefrog post that? That might be the turning point.


----------



## Susan in VA

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Another movie with a similar theme is "Hell Comes to Frogtown"


OMG. Is that a real movie?? Or is that trailer a spoof?


----------



## telracs

Susan in VA said:


> OMG. Is that a real movie?? Or is that trailer a spoof?


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093171/


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Real movie.  Blockbuster used to carry it.  I rented it for a bad movie contest we had one time.  I won.

Betsy


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Of course, I didn't know about Zardoz then...

Betsy


----------



## bluefrog

DArenson said:


> But David... what about your children? Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?


As much as I'd like to take credit, that wasn't mine. lol


----------



## BTackitt

OMG I remember that movie Betsy... wrestler "Rowdy" Roddy Piper was the "hero"..


> 'Hell' is the name of the hero of the story. He's a prisoner of the women who now run the USA after a nuclear/biological war. Results of the war are that mutants have evolved, and the human race is in danger of extinction due to infertility. Hell is given the task of helping in the rescue of a group of fertile women from the harem of the mutant leader (resembling a frog). Hell cannot escape since he has a bomb attached to his private parts which will detonate if he strays more than a few hundred yards from his guard.


 - From IMDB


----------



## Daniel Arenson

bluefrog said:


> As much as I'd like to take credit, that wasn't mine. lol


That one was mine... though I'm not sure why anyone would LIKE taking credit for THAT monstrosity.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I guess me and Kermit will have to take credit then, Daniel.


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> I guess me and Kermit will have to take credit then, Daniel.


Poor baby.


----------



## Archer

Oh
My
GOSH.

So, I'm surfing through the channels late last night, and WHAT should I see on Fox movie channel? 
You guessed it.
ZARDOZ.

I...I had to watch it (again...). I couldn't resist!
The guy who looks like Eric Idle--I kept expecting him to burst into song any minute. _('Just...re...member that you're standing on a planet that's evolving, revolving at nine hundred miles an hour...')_


----------



## David McAfee

OK. Now I HAVE to see that movie.


----------



## Susan in VA

And thus KB becomes solely responsible for the IMDB popularity rating of that movie suddenly going waaaaaay up...


----------



## terryr

T.L. Haddix said:


> My poor husband - guess what we'll be doing this weekend? (You did say Zardoz is on NF streaming, right?)


LOL, it is, I think I'll watch this weekend, too. Since I'm finally done with another project.


----------



## terryr

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Another movie with a similar theme is "Hell Comes to Frogtown"
> 
> Betsy


Oh boy. Another home MST3K project. I liked Sandhal Bergman better in Conan and Red Sonja, though...


----------



## telracs

T.L. Haddix said:


> My poor husband - guess what we'll be doing this weekend? (You did say Zardoz is on NF streaming, right?)


Yup, it's newly there. That's how I watched it, once again adding to my brain damage.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

T.M. Roy said:


> Oh boy. Another home MST3K project. I liked Sandhal Bergman better in Conan and Red Sonja, though...


"Hell Comes to Frogtown" is also available from Netflix, DVD only though...

Betsy


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Has _Hell Come to Frogtown_ killed the thread? Which makes me wonder why this thread keeps ending up talking about frogs....

Betsy


----------



## Archer

Ribbit...
...ribbit...


----------



## telracs

As my avatar knows, it's not easy being green


Spoiler



and sexy.


----------



## Susan in VA

Other than for your avatar, I'd say the two are mutually exclusive.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Susan in VA said:


> Other than for your avatar, I'd say the two are mutually exclusive.


You can be green and sexy. That's why I fell for Kermit.


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> You can be green and sexy. That's why I fell for Kermit.


Susan's just green with envy.


----------



## Susan in VA

scarlet said:


> Susan's just green with envy.


Only of the dress.


----------



## Chad Winters

Half-Orc said:


> You can be green and sexy. That's why I fell for Kermit.


Its not your fault you're a leg man.....


----------



## Susan in VA

Oh, thanks, Chad.  Now I have to clean the tea off my keyboard.


----------



## traceya

I came in here looking for a laugh and have been frightened out of my wits  
Zardoz et al and THAT picture will now haunt me for days    

I should've heeded the warning in the new title.... now I need a few valium and a little lie down


----------



## telracs

To quote a show currently playing on Broadway..."Thank you doctor, valium is my favorite color."


----------



## Chad Winters

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> Its not your fault you're a leg man.....





Susan in VA said:


> Oh, thanks, Chad. Now I have to clean the tea off my keyboard.


Always a risk with Kindleboards.  
You should invest in one of these http://www.compucover.com/image/KS.gif


----------



## traceya

scarlet said:


> To quote a show currently playing on Broadway..."Thank you doctor, valium is my favorite color."


But is that as scary as Zardoz  To think I used to love Sean Connery  I'm blaming the David's for my current, fragile, mental state


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> You can be green and sexy. That's why I fell for Kermit.


How is the bruise from where Miss Piggy karate chopped you last week?


----------



## David McAfee

traceya said:


> I'm blaming the David's for my current, fragile, mental state


You'd be surprised how often I hear that.


----------



## Archer

David McAfee said:


> How is the bruise from where Miss Piggy karate chopped you last week?


HIIIIIIIIIIII-YAH!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I just hang strips of bacon from my front door. It's an effective Miss Piggy ward.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Half-Orc said:


> I just hang strips of bacon from my front door. It's an effective Miss Piggy ward.


Mmm... door bacon... *drool*. Where do you live? Give me the exact coordinates.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

DArenson said:


> Mmm... door bacon... *drool*. Where do you live? Give me the exact coordinates.


Umm..uh...well...*looks around nervously*

Hawaii.

Yeah, that's it.

1234 Random Street, Hawaii.

David Dalglish


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Half-Orc said:


> 1234 Random Street, Hawaii.


----------



## Debra L Martin

Well, if we're talking about Hawaii...I want to visit.

David, how many house guests can you accommodate?


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Um..er...I own my whole island. Yeah. So like, several hundred? I'm secretly a wealthy playboy.


----------



## Chad Winters

Don't go!!  The bacon is a trap!!  Actually its his "James Bond Evil Genius" style lair complete with dolphins with lasers on their heads!!  You'll never return!!


----------



## Debra L Martin

Half-Orc said:


> Um..er...I own my whole island. Yeah. So like, several hundred? I'm secretly a wealthy playboy.


So that's the secret to your success!!!! Yay, I can now say I know a wealthy playboy...[I won't add in the part about your secret affair with Kermit though - might take away some of the shine for some]


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Dolphins with lasers? That's so last year. I have an army of evil chipmunks with nano-bot technology built into their little bodies. They can bite through steel and run faster than a motorcycle. I call them my Chips-O-Death.

David Dalglish


----------



## Victorine

DArenson said:


> Mmm... door bacon... *drool*. Where do you live? Give me the exact coordinates.


Just in case you missed it when I posted it last month...






This cracks me up.

Vicki


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Half-Orc said:


> Dolphins with lasers? That's so last year. I have an army of evil chipmunks with nano-bot technology built into their little bodies. They can bite through steel and run faster than a motorcycle. I call them my Chips-O-Death.


*Stumbles back into Writer's Cafe, clothes tattered, slapping off Chips-O-Death.*

Guys! If David invites you to his Hawaii home -- do NOT GO! It's an evil lair! I saw horrible things there... horrible, unholy things involving Muppets... *shudder*


----------



## Sean Sweeney

DArenson said:


> *Stumbles back into Writer's Cafe, clothes tattered, slapping off Chips-O-Death.*
> 
> Guys! If David invites you to his Hawaii home -- do NOT GO! It's an evil lair! I saw horrible things there... horrible, unholy things involving Muppets... *shudder*


Heck, I'm going there just to see what he does to the Muppets. I hope he has popcorn...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

*transcript from front security camera of David's Lair*



> John Fitch V approaches the door. He knocks.
> 
> "Hello?"
> 
> Far behind, the yard-gate locks. John doesn't notice. He knocks again.
> 
> "Hello! I'm here for the muppets. I hear you, uh, you know..."
> 
> Slots in the ground open on either side of the walkway. Hundreds of Chip-O-Deaths come running in, their beady eyes glowing red in the dim twilight. John spins about, full fists-of-fury. Hundreds of Chipmunks go limping away, defeated by the epic Boston Martial Arts. John is bleeding, but seems unworried.
> 
> He knocks a third time.
> 
> "I want in!"
> 
> Fire bursts from two plants on either side. John sidesteps with ease. A speaker pops out from the door. David's voice comes from the other side.
> 
> "Why the heck are you not dead yet?"
> 
> John shrugs.
> 
> "Talent?"
> 
> Ground opens up beneath John, who falls into a pit of spikes. The pit closes.
> 
> John Fitch VI approaches the door.


----------



## Victorine

That last line is classic.  

Vicki


----------



## Daniel Arenson

So THAT'S what happened to John Fitch I through IV!


----------



## David McAfee

Sheesh! All I have for home security is a lazy Basset Hound.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

David McAfee said:


> Sheesh! All I have for home security is a lazy Basset Hound.


Is he at least a vampire basset hound?


----------



## Chad Winters

DArenson said:


> Is he at least a vampire basset hound?


Yeah, but he's the sparkly kind, so its not very scary


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> Yeah, but he's the sparkly kind, so its not very scary


Ah... so he just sits around, mopes, and wears a lot of lipstick.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

DArenson said:


> Ah... so he just sits around, mopes, and wears a lot of lipstick.


Maybe that's just me, but if I saw a dog doing that, I _would_ be scared.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Half-Orc said:


> Maybe that's just me, but if I saw a dog doing that, I _would_ be scared.


----------



## Chad Winters

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> Yeah, but he's the sparkly kind, so its not very scary


Now a Zombie Basset Hound....that would be scary!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

DArenson said:


>


Looks too happy, doesn't have pale skin/black hair, isn't sparkling, and again, clearly isn't moping. But nice try Daniel


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Half-Orc said:


> Looks too happy, doesn't have pale skin/black hair, isn't sparkling, and again, clearly isn't moping. But nice try Daniel


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

MUCH better. Still needs some sparkles.


----------



## David McAfee

I love that pic. I've seen it on Yahoo Images a dozen times or more.


----------



## Debra L Martin

The title of this thread keeps changing with lightning fast speed....go away for a hour or two and god only knows what you'll come back too....


----------



## David McAfee

Deb Martin said:


> The title of this thread keeps changing with lightning fast speed....go away for a hour or two and god only knows what you'll come back too....


I know. I'm evil.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Half-Orc said:


> *transcript from front security camera of David's Lair*


I think I just wet myself....


----------



## David McAfee

John Fitch V said:


> I think I just wet myself....


It was the vampire chihuahua, wasn't it?

That thing scares the Alpo outta me!


----------



## Chad Winters

http://blogs.forbes.com/firewall/2010/08/19/intel-should-not-consummate-mcafee-acquisition/?boxes=Homepagechannels

so Mcafee....what's up with you and Intel?


----------



## Sean Sweeney

David McAfee said:


> It was the vampire chihuahua, wasn't it?
> 
> That thing scares the Alpo outta me!


That and Oligart's description of me coming to his Hawaiian retreat. I wonder what's next... tap-dancing elephants?


----------



## Daniel Arenson

John Fitch V said:


> I wonder what's next... tap-dancing elephants?


Pink ones. With top hats and monocles. And swan wings. I have those on my island.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

DArenson said:


> Pink ones. With top hats and monocles. And swan wings. I have those on my island.


I want one.


----------



## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> Pink ones. With top hats and monocles. And swan wings. I have those on my island.


I saw a whole herd of those one night after about a dozen shots of tequila.


----------



## Debra L Martin

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> http://blogs.forbes.com/firewall/2010/08/19/intel-should-not-consummate-mcafee-acquisition/?boxes=Homepagechannels
> 
> so Mcafee....what's up with you and Intel?


Whatever it is, he'll be worth a lot of money = "Intel's announced intention to acquire McAfee for $7.68 billion is a deal that does make sense no matter what perspective you take."

Come clean, David, you've been hiding all your billions from your poor author friends, haven't you?


----------



## Susan in VA

Half-Orc said:


> *transcript from front security camera of David's Lair*


ooh-kay.... I've never been particularly interested in novels about half-, full-, or quarter-orcs, but based on that little gem I think I may have to buy your books after all.

You guys are _weird_. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I'm not sure how representative of my writing that little security camera bit is, but I will most certainly thank you for the sale and hope you enjoy!

David Dalglish


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> Dolphins with lasers? That's so last year. I have an army of evil chipmunks with nano-bot technology built into their little bodies. They can bite through steel and run faster than a motorcycle. I call them my Chips-O-Death.
> 
> David Dalglish


Hey, David, if you need a minion, or an evil henchperson, just let me know...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

scarlet said:


> Hey, David, if you need a minion, or an evil henchperson, just let me know...


Sexy Scarlet as my bond-girl villainess? Excellent...excellent...

Your first order of business is to make seduce McAfee, find out what he knows about my invasion plan, and then leave him heartbroken and bleeding to death somewhere in the Arizona Valley. If you need help, take some of the Chip-O-Deaths.

David Dalglish


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> Sexy Scarlet as my bond-girl villainess? Excellent...excellent...
> 
> Your first order of business is to make seduce McAfee, find out what he knows about my invasion plan, and then leave him heartbroken and bleeding to death somewhere in the Arizona Valley. If you need help, take some of the Chip-O-Deaths.
> 
> David Dalglish


I ain't going anywhere near those things. I'm taking the elephants. Oh wait, hard to get those on the plane....


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I have elephants?

*turns toward his zookeeper*

Hey Jack? Jack! Yeah, why's Scarlet saying she's taking an elephant? What do you mean I bought some last year? Heck man, how much it cost to feed them dang things? WHAT?!?

*turns back to Scarlet*

Take as many as you'd like.

David Dalglish


----------



## David McAfee

Seduction? OK.

Bleeding and dying in the Arizona desert? Not so much.

I have Theron's and Taras' story to finish. Kill me after.


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> I have elephants?
> 
> *turns toward his zookeeper*
> 
> Hey Jack? Jack! Yeah, why's Scarlet saying she's taking an elephant? What do you mean I bought some last year? Heck man, how much it cost to feed them dang things? WHAT?!?
> 
> *turns back to Scarlet*
> 
> Take as many as you'd like.
> 
> David Dalglish


I told you and told you, do NOT look at the catalogues when drinking (especially not the stuff I give you to drink). And definitely do not hand Jack your credit card. Although my new sparkles do look nice....



David McAfee said:


> Seduction? OK.
> 
> Bleeding and dying in the Arizona desert? Not so much.
> 
> I have Theron's and Taras' story to finish. Kill me after.


don't worry McAfee, I'll pull a Snow White on him so he'll think your dead then you can finish the book for me. Or maybe I'll just hold you hostage until I get my sequel....


----------



## David McAfee

scarlet said:


> don't worry McAfee, I'll pull a Snow White on him so he'll think your dead then you can finish the book for me. Or maybe I'll just hold you hostage until I get my sequel....


Why did I just have a sudden image of the movie _Malice_?


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> Why did I just have a sudden image of the movie _Malice_?


_Misery_? Kathy Bates/James Caan?


----------



## David McAfee

scarlet said:


> _Misery_? Kathy Bates/James Caan?


That's the one!

heh.

Malice.

See how frazzled I am?


----------



## Jim Bernheimer

Elephants on a plane!  The much anticiapted sequel to the cult classic Snakes on a plane.  See Samuel L. Jackson face off against some p*ssed off packyderms that have been snuck onboard an airplane to kill the enemy of the evil half-orc.


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> That's the one!
> 
> heh.
> 
> Malice.
> 
> See how frazzled I am?


My evil plan is already working. Confuse you, smuggle you on the plane with the elephants and then make you write!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Sadly, all I'm hearing here is a repeat of Operation: Dumbo Drop. With murder.


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> Sadly, all I'm hearing here is a repeat of Operation: Dumbo Drop. With murder.


*batting eyes flirtingly*

Don't you trust me, boss? (said in a seductive purr)


----------



## Jeff

I smell elephant poop. Is it coming from this thread?


----------



## Edward C. Patterson

Jeff said:


> I smell elephant poop. Is it coming from this thread?


Sorry, I forgot to spray. 

Ed in New England Patterson


----------



## David McAfee

Edward C. Patterson said:


> Sorry, I forgot to spray.
> 
> Ed in New England Patterson


Oligart, why don't you sic the Chips O Death on Ed, huh? He's the one that smells like elephant poop!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

David McAfee said:


> Oligart, why don't you sic the Chips O Death on Ed, huh? He's the one that smells like elephant poop!


I tried. All but one died. The survivor apparently had an olfactory defect. Ed adopted the guy, stupid little traitor chipmunk. I'd send my elephants (Jack outfitted them with MISSILES!) but Scarlet took them all. Once Ed takes a swim, however, my army of Jellyfish Assassins will take him out.


----------



## Jeff

Edward C. Patterson said:


> Sorry, I forgot to spray.
> 
> Ed in New England Patterson


You were supposed to be visiting your aunt but instead, there you are, cavorting with the elephants again.


----------



## Edward C. Patterson

I carried water for elephants, which we know, for those who read the novel is


Spoiler



impossible


.

Ed Patterson


----------



## Jeff

Edward C. Patterson said:


> I carried water for elephants, which we know, for those who read the novel is
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> impossible
> 
> 
> .


That was you? I thought it was Gunga Din.


----------



## David McAfee

Chipmunks? Elephants? Jellyfish? Dude, can't you get some _cool_ animals? I've got a pack of genetically mutated Iguanas in my secret lair. They've been there a while because I can't get them to leave. Stupid lizards. Hard to kick 'em out when the smallest one is fifteen feet long and eats cattle.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

See, the thing about those cool animals is that customs takes a long, long look at them. Who the heck is going to suspect death in a chipmunk? Just wait until you meet my squirrel-bombs. Your secret base is going DOWN.


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> See, the thing about those cool animals is that customs takes a long, long look at them. Who the heck is going to suspect death in a chipmunk? Just wait until you meet my squirrel-bombs. Your secret base is going DOWN.


you don't scare me. I've got lots of secret bases, and you don't know where they are.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

That's what Scarlet is for. You can't hide from her.


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> That's what Scarlet is for. You can't hide from her.


She wants a sequel. You can't trust her. Her motivations are not necessarily the same as yours.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

David McAfee said:


> She wants a sequel. You can't trust her. Her motivations are not necessarily the same as yours.


That's what makes her an excellent Bond girl. She has looks, depth, and ten ways to kill you while still smiling.


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> That's what makes her an excellent Bond girl. She has looks, depth, and ten ways to kill you while still smiling.


I ain't scared. I have my bald kitty. Actually, it's a dachsund with a skin disorder, but still...


----------



## Sean Sweeney

McAfee's secret bases = bars around Fenway Park and Cowboys Stadium.


----------



## telracs

John Fitch V said:


> McAfee's secret bases = bars around Fenway Park and Cowboys Stadium.


Fitch, I think you been looking in the mirror again, it's YOUR base at Fenway.


----------



## telracs

please vote in my new poll.

http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,33066.0.html


----------



## BTackitt

OK.. since there doesn't seem to be ANYTHING that is Off Topic in this thread, Does anyone other than me think D. Nathan Hillard looks conspicuously like Alan Rickman? I was just reading one of his replies in the Favorite Chocolate thread down in NQK, and his avatar pic just really strikes me as being sooo familiar, and I'm thinking.. ok.. why do I know this guy.... and it hits me... Alan Rickman in Galaxy Quest!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

scarlet said:


> Fitch, I think you been looking in the mirror again, it's YOUR base at Fenway.


McAfee is a Red Sox fan, too!


----------



## David McAfee

John Fitch V said:


> McAfee's secret bases = bars around Fenway Park and Cowboys Stadium.


John! I can't believe you gave away my secret locations! What kind of disposable evil lackey _are _ you? Turn in your Igor badge right now!


----------



## traceya

David McAfee said:


> John! I can't believe you gave away my secret locations! What kind of disposable evil lackey _are _ you? Turn in your Igor badge right now!


So... how come you get John the Igor and David D gets the sexy Scarlet 

And where do I find my own evil henchperson? Can I pick one of the bare-chested guys from Kristen's books??

Ooh ooh better go before the hubby sees this and starts reading me stories from The Lake again [I like to sleep *without* nightmares]


----------



## David McAfee

traceya said:


> So... how come you get John the Igor and David D gets the sexy Scarlet


Hardly seems fair, does it?



traceya said:


> And where do I find my own evil henchperson? Can I pick one of the bare-chested guys from Kristen's books??


I think they sell them at Wal Mart now. If not you can always order one from Amazon or Minions.com.



traceya said:


> Ooh ooh better go before the hubby sees this and starts reading me stories from The Lake again [I like to sleep *without* nightmares]


Aw, c'mon. They aren't _that_ bad...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

A friend of mine would always watch bad movies and go "How does one become a henchman? I want to be a henchman! Spiffy uniform, awesome boss, random possibility of dying on the job..."


----------



## Jeff

Archer is now in charge of elephant poop. Ed is relieved of duty.


----------



## telracs

Let me just tell you that this Bond girl is available as an evil minion to anyone with the right price.  But you have to figure out what it is.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

scarlet said:


> Let me just tell you that this Bond girl is available as an evil minion to anyone with the right price. But you have to figure out what it is.


Obscene amounts of chocolate?


----------



## David McAfee

An hour-long backrub?


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> An hour-long backrub?


*FAIL*

But you should give your wife one.


----------



## David McAfee

Obscene amounts of chocolate, an hour long backrub from a prfessional back rubber, and you get to drive the McAfee Mobile.


----------



## Chad Winters

This is Kindleboards....a Kindlebooks gift card ought to do it.....


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> Obscene amounts of chocolate, an hour long backrub from a prfessional back rubber, and you get to drive the McAfee Mobile.


I'm from NYC McAfee. I don't drive.



Chad Winters (#102) said:


> This is Kindleboards....a Kindlebooks gift card ought to do it.....


That might work.


----------



## David McAfee

scarlet said:


> I'm from NYC McAfee. I don't drive.
> 
> That might work.


Well, poop.

What the...? Betsy is warning people away from my Uber Fun General Silliness Thread. Harrrumph!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I saw that! Me and David's finest work, and mods are warning people to stay away. For shaaaame!


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> I saw that! Me and David's finest work, and mods are warning people to stay away. For shaaaame!


If I had the energy, I'd make some more PhotoShop fun....


----------



## Atunah

The warning didn't work  . When I get told not to do something, I'll jump right in. 
I am like a bad Horror movie cliche.


----------



## telracs

David,

Could you do me a favor and limit the name change on the thread to once a day?

Oh, and go work on my sequel or the elephants will be unleashed.


----------



## David McAfee

scarlet said:


> David,
> 
> Could you do me a favor and limit the name change on the thread to once a day?
> 
> Oh, and go work on my sequel or the elephants will be unleashed.


If I do, will you be _my_ Bond girl instead of Oligart's?


----------



## Jeff

scarlet said:


> Oh, and go work on my sequel or the elephants will be unleashed.


And you know what elephants mean.


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> If I do, will you be _my_ Bond girl instead of Oligart's?


You have to ask your wife if it's okay that you have a Bond Girl.


----------



## David McAfee

Strictly Platonic. I send you after people to beat them up, steal their stuff, or kill 'em. You do it in a very fetching manner. Poof. Bond Girl.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

This thread makes no sense.

Neither does this photo.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Young kid is getting married, gets a sowing machine from his grandparents, and then want to take a photo. They just happen to snap it while the police congregate with the driver of a UPS truck who swerved to avoid a pedestrian.

Explained. Booyah!


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> Young kid is getting married, gets a sowing machine from his grandparents, and then want to take a photo. They just happen to snap it while the police congregate with the driver of a UPS truck who swerved to avoid a pedestrian.
> 
> Explained. Booyah!


"sowing" machine? that doesn't look like a mechanical hoe to me.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Too simple.  I think it somehow involves hedgehogs.  Or flying pink elephants with top hats or monocles.  Or both.  Must.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

scarlet said:


> "sowing" machine? that doesn't look like a mechanical hoe to me.


Dangit, I made the same f'ing mistake in my books, too. I hate those two words.


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> Dangit, I made the same f'ing mistake in my books, too. I hate those two words.


I guess one of a Bond girl's duties is going to have to be beta-reading so her evil overlord doesn't get embarassed on public forums.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

scarlet said:


> I guess one of a Bond girl's duties is going to have to be beta-reading so her evil overlord doesn't get embarassed on public forums.


Talk about a hopeless quest. I embarrass myself on public forums daily.


----------



## drenee

I thought the picture was of a guy chasing down the UPS truck so he could measure the first K3 delivered and make a nice cover.


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> Talk about a hopeless quest. I embarrass myself on public forums daily.


Okay, to narrow it down... so he doesn't embarass himself in his books via silly typos.

And can a Bond girl truly serve an evil overlord?


----------



## Chad Winters

A Stitch in Time Saves UPS.....  *nope, doesn't work*


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

<pokes head in cautiously>


----------



## Chad Winters

Betsy the Quilter said:


> <pokes head in cautiously>


Gotcha!!!









oops ...until I figure out how to add a pic imagine there's a Whack-a-mole pic there...


----------



## telracs

Betsy the Quilter said:


> <pokes head in cautiously>


*grabs Betsy and drags her in*

Oh, wait,


Spoiler



does that constitute a personal attack?


----------



## luvmy4brats

I'm here 'cause I never listen to Betsy...


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

David McAfee said:


> Well, poop.
> 
> What the...? Betsy is warning people away from my Uber Fun General Silliness Thread. Harrrumph!


Thereby guaranteeing that the thousands of people who don't listen to me (like Heather) will flock to the thread...


Betsy


----------



## D.A. Boulter

Half-Orc said:


> A friend of mine would always watch bad movies and go "How does one become a henchman? I want to be a henchman! Spiffy uniform, awesome boss, random possibility of dying on the job..."


One joins the Henchmen's Union. Haven't you seen "Dr Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog"?


----------



## telracs

D.A. Boulter said:


> One joins the Henchmen's Union. Haven't you seen "Dr Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog"?


But you have to have enough hours to join the union.


----------



## R. M. Reed

Dare I ask what "NSFW" in the title means? All I can figure out is "Not Suitable For Women," but the gals have taken over as far as I can see.


----------



## telracs

R. Reed said:


> Dare I ask what "NSFW" in the title means? All I can figure out is "Not Suitable For Women," but the gals have taken over as far as I can see.


Not suitable for WORK.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

scarlet said:


> Not suitable for WORK.


I always thought it was "Not Safe For Work"


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> I always thought it was "Not Safe For Work"


Safe, suitable, it ain't either one, dear.

Oh, and now that you've mentioned a wife, you need to get her permission to have a Bond Girl.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

scarlet said:


> Safe, suitable, it ain't either one, dear.
> 
> Oh, and now that you've mentioned a wife, you need to get her permission to have a Bond Girl.


*does an experiment*

I am going to go tell my wife I have a bond girl now without letting her know why. Let's see how she responds:

Wife:


Spoiler



"Keep it in your pants, Dave."



Well, that settles that.


----------



## Linjeakel

Anyone seen Betsy? I'm sure I saw her headed this way. You guys didn't kidnap her anything, did you? You know she's the favourite to win the KB Poll for the Queen of Mean, don't you? (I didn't vote for her - I'm too scared of that cattle prod)  

Wouldn't want to be in your shoes if you're messing with Betsy ....


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> *does an experiment*
> 
> I am going to go tell my wife I have a bond girl now without letting her know why. Let's see how she responds:
> 
> Wife:
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> "Keep it in your pants, Dave."
> 
> 
> 
> Well, that settles that.


Is that a "yes" or a "no"?



Linjeakel said:


> Anyone seen Betsy? I'm sure I saw her headed this way. You guys didn't kidnap her anything, did you? You know she's the favourite to win the KB Poll for the Queen of Mean, don't you? (I didn't vote for her - I'm too scared of that cattle prod)
> 
> Wouldn't want to be in your shoes if you're messing with Betsy ....


Excuse me, you think I'm afraid of Betsy? She keeps shaking her head sternly at me!


----------



## terryr

scarlet said:


> "sowing" machine? that doesn't look like a mechanical hoe to me.


I just nearly spit crystal light lemonade all over my computer. Was that an intentional double entendre on your... translation... or do I just have a very polluted mind?

Also I had the same thought, except was trying to figure out how to adapt a sewing machine into a seed delivery system instead of thread. LOL.


----------



## telracs

T.M. Roy said:


> I just nearly spit crystal light lemonade all over my computer. Was that an intentional double entendre on your... translation... or do I just have a very polluted mind?
> 
> Also I had the same thought, except was trying to figure out how to adapt a sewing machine into a seed delivery system instead of thread. LOL.


I was wondering if anyone was going to misread "hoe" as "ho." But no, it wasn't really an intended double entendre, I rarely intend those.

And I like your idea.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

scarlet said:


> I was wondering if anyone was going to misread "hoe" as "ho." But no, it wasn't really an intended double entendre, I rarely intend those.
> 
> And I like your idea.


I started to look for a picture of a mechanical ho but decided that was crossing the line.

Betsy


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

scarlet said:


> Is that a "yes" or a "no"?


It means you can be my Bond girl. I just have to behave. I'll take out my frustration by killing David McAfee with twice the amount of explosives.


----------



## 911jason

Betsy the Quilter said:


> I started to look for a picture of a mechanical ho...


Here ya' go Betsy!!












Betsy the Quilter said:


> ...but decided that was crossing the line.
> 
> Betsy


Uhhhh... oops!


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Why does it not surprise me that you could come up with that so quickly, Jason?


Betsy


----------



## Daniel Arenson

911jason said:


> Here ya' go Betsy!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Uhhhh... oops!


Still more manly than C3PO.


----------



## terryr

scarlet said:


> I was wondering if anyone was going to misread "hoe" as "ho." But no, it wasn't really an intended double entendre, I rarely intend those.
> 
> And I like your idea.


LOL--- it was the craziness of the thread that did it to make me take it that way, I think.  I've taken to calling it "The Benny Hill Thread" in my head.


----------



## Victorine

This thread is what happens when silly and horrifying have a baby together.

Vicki


----------



## Linjeakel

Victorine said:


> This thread is what happens when silly and horrifying have a baby together.
> 
> Vicki


Wow, I didn't even know they were dating .....


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Victorine said:


> This thread is what happens when silly and horrifying have a baby together.
> 
> Vicki


Still better than David's baby with Kermie...


----------



## David McAfee

I'm amazed this thread has lasted 23 pages.

It's the pull of red hot muppet love, I tell you!


----------



## drenee

scarlet said:


> *grabs Betsy and drags her in*
> 
> Oh, wait,
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> does that constitute a personal attack?


It gets you more votes on the meanie queenie thread.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Yeah, what Deb said....

Betsy


----------



## telracs

speaking of that thread, I am editing it to add one more contestant, so give me a few minutes then go change your vote if need be.


----------



## Annalog

911jason said:


> Here ya' go Betsy!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Uhhhh... oops!


I still remember the first time I saw 'Metropolis' on the big screen!


----------



## Philip Chen




----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

We're waaaay less polite about it than that when we fight.


----------



## R. M. Reed

I just finished 33 A.D. and I have read two of the Half-Orc books so I can now authoritatively arbitrate the battle of the Davids.

Frankly, they both have large numbers of maggots in their books, so they're about equal. David M. has Jesus. But David D. has...well, you can't beat Jesus.

Still, I liked both of their books, and I am always right, so I call it a draw.


----------



## luvmy4brats

M*gg*ts in the books??  Sorry, can't read them. can't even say the word. They're a phobia of mine. 

Got any without them?


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

luvmy4brats said:


> M*gg*ts in the books?? Sorry, can't read them. can't even say the word. They're a phobia of mine.
> 
> Got any without them?


Dance of Cloaks has no maggots, hoohah!

And dangit. McAfee's cheating. You can't throw _Jesus_ at me. What am I supposed to counter with?

"Uh oh, here comes Jesus. Quick, cast a fireball!"

David Dalglish


----------



## luvmy4brats

Half-Orc said:


> Dance of Cloaks has no maggots, hoohah!


Bought it then.


----------



## R. M. Reed

luvmy4brats said:


> M*gg*ts in the books?? Sorry, can't read them. can't even say the word. They're a phobia of mine.
> 
> Got any without them?


How about "GRUBS."

Maybe not.


----------



## luvmy4brats

R. Reed said:


> How about "GRUBS."
> 
> Maybe not.


UM, no.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

luvmy4brats said:


> M*gg*ts in the books?? Sorry, can't read them. can't even say the word. They're a phobia of mine.
> 
> Got any without them?


My book has no maggots.  It has a few fleas, and a couple nasty ogres, but that's about it.


----------



## luvmy4brats

DArenson said:


> My book has no maggots.  It has a few fleas, and a couple nasty ogres, but that's about it.


Fleas I can handle. You're next.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

luvmy4brats said:


> Fleas I can handle. You're next.


Unless you have some phobia from fireflies. Cuz my book has a LOT of fireflies. (Not so far fetched; a friend of mine fears butterflies.)


----------



## luvmy4brats

DArenson said:


> Unless you have some phobia from fireflies. Cuz my book has a LOT of fireflies. (Not so far fetched; a friend of mine fears butterflies.)


I can handle most insects. It's just those icky white things that give me the heebeejeebees.

Bought your book too. (BTW, the metadata doesn't sort correctly. It put you after half-Orc.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

luvmy4brats said:


> I can handle most insects. It's just those icky white things that give me the heebeejeebees.
> 
> Bought your book too. (BTW, the metadata doesn't sort correctly. It put you after half-Orc.


Dang Daniel. Always trying to jump ahead in line. That's why I put dirt in your pudding during recess.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

luvmy4brats said:


> Bought your book too. (BTW, the metadata doesn't sort correctly. It put you after half-Orc.


Thanks for grabbing a copy! Hope you enjoy it.

Are you seeing anything weird or wrong with the metadata? I uploaded a new version recently, so if you see anything breaking, you can PM me the details. Thanks! I don't actually own a Kindle (I use a Kobo), so I rely on MobiReader to test....


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> Dang Daniel. Always trying to jump ahead in line. That's why I put dirt in your pudding during recess.


Play nice David, or no pudding for you (how can you have your pudding if you haven't finished your meat?)


----------



## Daniel Arenson

scarlet said:


> Play nice David, or no pudding for you (how can you have your pudding if you haven't finished your meat?)


David always picked on me at school. But he was only brave because his towering, half-orc friends went everywhere with him. Those half-orcs were 19 years old, but still in the third grade.

I got back at him, though. I stole Kermit from him. Poor David was heartbroken for months.


----------



## Jeff

DArenson said:


> David always picked on me at school.


Ah, come on now. Does this look like a kid that would pick on anyone?


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Nope. But it does look like someone who would grow up to command a bunch of half-orc henchmen...


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> Nope. But it does look like someone who would grow up to command a bunch of half-orc henchmen...


And a Green Bond Girl.


----------



## Jeff

Great looking kid, by the way.


----------



## Susan in VA

What's this about _maggots_?   

<_Hello, Amazon? Cancel that last order, please..._>


----------



## Victorine

Susan in VA said:


> What's this about _maggots_?
> 
> <_Hello, Amazon? Cancel that last order, please..._>


33 AD does mention maggots a few times, but I would like to point out that no actual maggots came out from the book. 

Vicki


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Maybe David could do a special maggot-free edition....

Betsy


----------



## Jeff

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Maybe David could do a special maggot-free edition....


He'd have to eliminate a whole cadre of characters.


----------



## R. M. Reed

I didn't mean to chase sales away from these fine writers, but I hope people do expect horrific elements in a vampire book...surely Twilight hasn't made vamps too cute and cuddly.


----------



## Susan in VA

Victorine said:


> 33 AD does mention maggots a few times, but I would like to point out that no actual maggots came out from the book.
> 
> Vicki


They'd better not, else my Kindle has been in some weird places without my knowledge.


----------



## Michael Crane

DArenson said:


> I foresee a fourth book in the series:


I can't wait to read this one! 

BTW, this thread rocks, if it hasn't been said enough!


----------



## bluefrog

DArenson said:


> David always picked on me at school. But he was only brave because his towering, half-orc friends went everywhere with him. Those half-orcs were 19 years old, but still in the third grade.
> 
> I got back at him, though. I stole Kermit from him. Poor David was heartbroken for months.


David was heartbroken? How do you think Kermit felt? You know how emotional he gets.


----------



## David McAfee

Wow. I'm out of KB for less than a day and you guys turn this thread into a... a...

Know what? It was a mess already. Carry on.


----------



## Guest

OMG! I think I saw that picture in the post office the other day!


----------



## traceya

bluefrog said:


> David was heartbroken? How do you think Kermit felt? You know how emotional he gets.


and we're back to the Muppets again..... what's goin' on guys? Give with the secret Muppet fetish already!


----------



## David McAfee

traceya said:


> and we're back to the Muppets again..... what's goin' on guys? Give with the secret Muppet fetish already!


You know what they say:

Once you go muppet, you never...um....ah.... help me out here guys...


----------



## BTackitt

Once you go green it cannot be unseen?

Sorry David, not much help, which is why I'm a reader not a writer.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

I'm still waiting for the PhotoShopped pic of me mixed with Gonzo or Fozzie... although the nose is big enough, so how about Doctor Teeth?


----------



## Daniel Arenson

John Fitch V said:


> I'm still waiting for the PhotoShopped pic of me mixed with Gonzo or Fozzie... although the nose is big enough, so how about Doctor Teeth?


I'm so glad you revived this thread! But also... worried... now that I have a new book cover and avatar...


----------



## Sean Sweeney

DArenson said:


> I'm so glad you revived this thread! But also... worried... now that I have a new book cover and avatar...


You never know... could use the book cover as McAfee's next hair piece.


----------



## David McAfee

I don't use hairpieces. Those are small roadkill animals. I'm wearing my possum to dinner this evening.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

David McAfee said:


> I don't use hairpieces. Those are small roadkill animals. I'm wearing my possum to dinner this evening.


Mmm... possum. For some people, that IS dinner.


----------



## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> Mmm... possum. For some people, that IS dinner.


Goes great with sauteed mushrooms and grits.


----------



## Michael Crane

LOL.  Love the title changes.  It's funny, because I'll check my unread threads that I've responded to and say, "What?  When the heck did I post in THAT thread??!!"


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Have at it.
 

Betsy


----------



## Michael Crane

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Have at it.
> 
> 
> Betsy


That looks like Maury's wig from _Goodfellas_.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Betsy the Quilter said:


>


It's a tribble!


----------



## David McAfee

Tribbles make great hairpieces.


----------



## telracs

Michael Crane said:


> LOL. Love the title changes. It's funny, because I'll check my unread threads that I've responded to and say, "What? When the heck did I post in THAT thread??!!"


You mean I'm not the only one wondering what the FRAK I was thinking posting in certain threads?


----------



## terryr

Gee, the opening lines of the scene between Spock and McCoy are so applicable to the Davids....


----------



## Daniel Arenson

T.M. Roy said:


> Gee, the opening lines of the scene between Spock and McCoy are so applicable to the Davids....
> [


Really? I think McAfee is more like Picard.

*ducks*


----------



## David McAfee

*shines his head in Daniel's face*

Ha! Take that!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

The opening line I heard was him saying there was no practical use for them.

What are you implying


----------



## terryr

DArenson said:


> Really? I think McAfee is more like Picard.
> 
> *ducks*


I was referring to the lines, not to the characters. LOL.


----------



## telracs

Why is Kirk the only one with different uniform tops?


----------



## Daniel Arenson

David McAfee said:


> *shines his head in Daniel's face*
> 
> Ha! Take that!


Ouch, my eyes! This is almost as bad as the time I saw THAT picture.


----------



## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> Ouch, my eyes! This is almost as bad as the time I saw THAT picture.


No. No, please don't mention THAT picture. For the Love of God, haven't the KBers suffered enough?


----------



## Daniel Arenson

David McAfee said:


> No. No, please don't mention THAT picture. For the Love of God, haven't the KBers suffered enough?


You're right.

Let us never speak of it again.


----------



## Michael Crane

scarlet said:


> You mean I'm not the only one wondering what the FRAK I was thinking posting in certain threads?


Nope. I was afraid I posted drunk one night and didn't remember.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

David McAfee said:


> No. No, please don't mention THAT picture. For the Love of God, haven't the KBers suffered enough?


Which picture? <music plays: Dunh-Dunh-DUNNNNHHH!>










Betsy


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

You vile, evil, terrible woman...


----------



## Daniel Arenson

McAfee, quick, shine your head at my eyes again, I beg you!


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Well, stop invoking it then.   

Betsy


----------



## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> McAfee, quick, shine your head at my eyes again, I beg you!


Nope. You brought this on yourself. *McAfee puts a dead possum on his head to prevent any accidental shineage*


----------



## luvmy4brats

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Which picture? <music plays: Dunh-Dunh-DUNNNNHHH!>
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Betsy


I think I'm gonna be ill....


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Sorry, Heather    I know it's been a rough day....didn't mean to make it worse.  

Betsy


----------



## BTackitt

I love the little toupees on the Zargozian Davids Betsy.. I am now laughing my @$$ off. and I needed the laughter after the afternoon I had.. so thank you.


----------



## luvmy4brats

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Sorry, Heather  I know it's been a rough day....didn't mean to make it worse.
> 
> Betsy


I can always count on a laugh when I come into this thread... So while it made me a little ill, it did make me laugh, so all it's good.


----------



## David McAfee

Betsy the Quilter said:


> ROFL...trying not to picture it...
> 
> Betsy


Fixed it.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

David McAfee said:


> Fixed it.


Oh, you're no fun...I rescind my ROFL...

Betsy


----------



## Michael Crane

I don't think I'm old enough to view this thread!


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Michael Crane said:


> I don't think I'm old enough to view this thread!


I don't think ANYONE is old enough to view this thread.


----------



## telracs

Michael Crane said:


> I don't think I'm old enough to view this thread!


then DON'T watch the movie.


----------



## Brenda Carroll

The hair! The hair!  I've never seen so much in one place.... or two.


----------



## Michael Crane

DArenson said:


> I don't think ANYONE is old enough to view this thread.


 

Not that that's stopped me in the past... although I may have nightmares tonight.


----------



## terryr

Oh. My. God.


----------



## BTackitt

I'm not sure if it's the hair... or those boots... or twin diapers....I just love looking to laugh..


----------



## David McAfee

BTackitt said:


> I'm not sure if it's the hair... or those boots... or twin diapers....I just love looking to laugh..


I look occasionally too, but usually only after I've swallowed some poison and really need to throw up.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

My God.  I accidentally glimpsed it again.  I think I'll stare at McAfee's grubs for a while, to help drown out the image.


----------



## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> My God. I accidentally glimpsed it again. I think I'll stare at McAfee's grubs for a while, to help drown out the image.


Just don't look at that pile to your left. Yeah, that one. No, I said _don't_ look. Don't... ah, dang it. I'm sorry, man. They got one of your doves. I was hoping you wouldn't notice... It's so hard to discipline a squirming mass of larvae, you know?


----------



## Michael Crane

DArenson said:


> My God. I accidentally glimpsed it again. I think I'll stare at McAfee's grubs for a while, to help drown out the image.


I think I'll just stare at your sig of the new book.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Michael Crane said:


> I think I'll just stare at your sig of the new book.


As if you weren't doing that all week anyway.


----------



## Michael Crane

DArenson said:


> As if you weren't doing that all week anyway.


True, but that's besides the point!


----------



## telracs

I think McAffee needs a lesson in the consequences of taunting a Bond Girl. Be warned, my retribution will be ugly, if not swift.


----------



## David McAfee

scarlet said:


> I think McAffee needs a lesson in the consequences of taunting a Bond Girl. Be warned, my retribution will be ugly, if not swift.


As long as you don't make me eat tofu.

Yech!


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> As long as you don't make me eat tofu.
> 
> Yech!


Well, since dinner was TOFU pad thai and TOFU pad see ew, I have enough to share...


----------



## Chad Winters

ick....might as well eat Mcaffee's grubs......


----------



## Sean Sweeney

I just spat my beer out with the picture of the Davids channeling their inner futuristic Daniel Boone...


----------



## David McAfee

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> ick....might as well eat Mcaffee's grubs......


If they don't eat you first...


----------



## traceya

John Fitch V said:


> I just spat my beer out with the picture of the Davids channeling their inner futuristic Daniel Boone...


Me too, only mine was coffee... it's only afternoon here 

Someone said they call this the 'Benny Hill' thread but Benny was NEVER this funny


----------



## Victorine

WARNING:  Do not drink anything while reading this thread.  Do not read at work.  And do not, I repeat, do not scroll past THAT picture while anyone is walking by.

Vicki


----------



## traceya

Victorine said:


> WARNING: Do not drink anything while reading this thread. Do not read at work. And do not, I repeat, do not scroll past THAT picture while anyone is walking by.
> 
> Vicki


I vote we make this quote the name of the thread.... it encompasses everything


----------



## BTackitt

I second that motion!


----------



## David McAfee

It's too long.


----------



## Brenda Carroll

Seriously, you think?


----------



## BTackitt

ok.. so make it, No Drinks Allowed, NSFW, Contains _THAT_ picture.


----------



## telracs

BTackitt said:


> ok.. so make it, No Drinks Allowed, NSFW, Contains _THAT_ picture.


Good, take my name off it.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

I hear McAfee was a Cowboys fans, did some searching, and found out what his day job is...









Betsy


----------



## traceya

Oh Betsy, LMAO   

That's the coolest, most tragic pic yet


----------



## telracs

I've got to figure out a way to revoke Betsy's Photoshop privileges.


----------



## D. Nathan Hilliard

*desperately searches for the Unsee button*


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

scarlet said:


> I've got to figure out a way to revoke Betsy's Photoshop privileges.


But...but...it was just out there on the Internet. And I DON'T use Photoshop....so there.

Betsy


----------



## luvmy4brats

That picture is just wrong in so many ways...


----------



## traceya

luvmy4brats said:


> That picture is just wrong in so many ways...


Aah but I'd be almost willing to bet actual money, Heather, that you can't quite stop looking at it  Wrong it may be but it also seems somehow so right


----------



## telracs

Betsy the Quilter said:


> But...but...it was just out there on the Internet. And I DON'T use Photoshop....so there.
> 
> Betsy


sometimes we sound SO mature, don't we. okay, whatever photo editing you're using- STOP!


----------



## Daniel Arenson

John Fitch V said:


> I just spat my beer out with the picture of the Davids channeling their inner futuristic Daniel Boone...


The word "Daniel" should never be uttered within ten miles of that picture.


----------



## Debra L Martin

You know I was having a great day until I saw THAT pic again....


----------



## David McAfee

Betsy the Quilter said:


> I hear McAfee was a Cowboys fans, did some searching, and found out what his day job is...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Betsy


Jerry Jones still owes me money for that.


----------



## Cindy416

luvmy4brats said:


> That picture is just wrong in so many ways...


How right you are, Heather!


----------



## telracs

At least dead-boy has changed the thread title so I'm no longer mentioned.


----------



## Cindy416

scarlet said:


> At least dead-boy has changed the thread title so I'm no longer mentioned.


Scarlet, I wouldn't bask in the glow of that for too long. David has a head cold and a headache, so who knows what he'll do to numb the pain!


----------



## telracs

Cindy416 said:


> Scarlet, I wouldn't bask in the glow of that for too long. David has a head cold and a headache, so who knows what he'll do to numb the pain!


I could always drop another anvil on him.


----------



## Susan in VA

scarlet said:


> I could always drop another anvil on him.
> [/quote
> 
> Wasn't it Betsy who did that?


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Scarlet dropped it, I just recorded it for posterity...

Betsy


----------



## telracs

And I blew him up.  Acme explosives work well in virtual land.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

scarlet said:


> sometimes we sound SO mature, don't we. okay, whatever photo editing you're using- STOP!


It's a little late to ask for maturity. Maturity left the building some weeks ago. 

Betsy


----------



## telracs

Betsy the Quilter said:


> It's a little late to ask for maturity. Maturity left the building some weeks ago.
> 
> Betsy


Maturity took one look at the building, shook its head, mumbled something about not being paid enough to take on this crowd and WENT HOME to recover.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Betsy


----------



## telracs

Actually, I think I was wrong. I just saw him at the bar on the corner nursing a beer.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

David McAfee said:


> Jerry Jones still owes me money for that.


Second worst owner in the NFL after Dan Snyder....

Betsy


----------



## scottnicholson

heh, and who says indies can't be taken seriously?


----------



## Jeff

"The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate." ~ _Douglas Engelbart_ (Inventor of the computer mouse.) He too was an indie.


----------



## Brenda Carroll

It has become apparent over the last several posts that not only has maturity left the building, but...

David has left the thread!


----------



## David McAfee

Brendan Carroll said:


> It has become apparent over the last several posts that not only has maturity left the building, but...
> 
> David has left the thread!


Just for a little while. It's the weekend. I like spending time with my wife.


----------



## telracs

Brendan Carroll said:


> It has become apparent over the last several posts that not only has maturity left the building, but...
> 
> David has left the thread!


Maturity never MADE it to the building.

And David had to recover from a shotgun blast and an anvil to the head.


----------



## tsilver

Alas David, Now I understand the meaning of "thunder thighs."

Terry


----------



## Sandra Edwards

Stop it! You people are making me laugh so hard I'm crying!


----------



## crebel

Just when my vision was beginning to return.  Now I'm blind again from the pictures and typing by touch.  I have to upgrade from my K1 now so my kindle can read to me.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

David,

the Cowboys need your help...Teehee. Houston is kicking their butt. Of course it is just a preseason game. Dallas is probably resting up for their opener against the 'Skins....









Betsy


----------



## BTackitt

HAHAHHAHA Betsy can't upload that pic anymore!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Learnmegood

Hmmmm. . .I once dated a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader (OK, EX-Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader), but thankfully, she did not look like David McAfee (no offense, Dave).


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

BTackitt said:


> HAHAHHAHA Betsy can't upload that pic anymore!!!!!!!!!


Oh ye of little faith....

Betsy


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Even McAfee and the other Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders apparently couldn't help Dallas last night...

Betsy


----------



## BTackitt

My Dh's cousin was a Cowboys Cheerleader about 15 years ago... We were stationed in Japan at the time, and she sent him a care package with all sorts of signed photos. He was VERY popoular with the guys for a while. hehheheh


----------



## BTackitt

AP: Original Kermit donated to the Smithsonian

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100825/ap_on_en_tv/us_smithsonian_muppets

I see mention of putting Kermit's GF Miss Piggy into the collection too, but no mention at all of Dalglish...What a snub!


----------



## Daniel Arenson

BTackitt said:


> AP: Original Kermit donated to the Smithsonian
> 
> http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100825/ap_on_en_tv/us_smithsonian_muppets
> 
> I see mention of putting Kermit's GF Miss Piggy into the collection too, but no mention at all of Dalglish...What a snub!


Yes. Please. Let's talk about Kermit again. Please no more Davids in Diapers!


----------



## terryr

I wanna know:


Spoiler



just where is McAffee's other hand in that latest photo?



I can't help it, I'm twisted and evil. I can't even blame this thread.


----------



## Daniel Pyle




----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Uh oh, McAfee better hide that before his current wife gets a hold of it.


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> Uh oh, McAfee better hide that before his current wife gets a hold of it.


I thought that WAS Heather.


----------



## Michael Crane

Just when I think this thread can't get any more disturbing...  sort of like when you ask yourself what else can go wrong.  At that point. you're just asking for it.


----------



## BTackitt

Oh Michael.. don't go there.. There are other photos just as bad floating around cyberspace that they could be using.. at least with Zardoz ya kinda get numb to it after a while.

--
edit yeah yeah twin.. typoglycemia hits once in a while doncha know.


----------



## telracs

BTackitt said:


> Oh Michael.. don't go there.. There are other photos just as bad floating around cyberspace that they could be using.. at least with Zargoz ya kinda get numb to it after a while.


Zardoz, not Zargoz.


Spoiler



it's a corruption of The WiZARD of OZ


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

scarlet said:


> I thought that WAS Heather.


Scarlet changed her avatar...

Betsy


----------



## telracs

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Scarlet changed her avatar...
> 
> Betsy


What does that have to do with anything?


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Posts in this thread have to have something to do with something?  OK, let me think...It's a comment on something appearing in this thread...and as such, has as much to do with anything as anything else in this thread.

How's that?  

Betsy


----------



## telracs

Sorry, I thought there was a connection I was missing.  I forgot how random this thread could get.

And for the record, it is NOT Steph's red dress in the avatar.  I would never borrow a dress and then wear it into the lake.


----------



## Susan in VA

Betsy the Quilter said:


> It's a comment on something appearing in this thread...and as such, has as much to do with anything as anything else in this thread.


I think you're setting a bad precedent....


----------



## Chad Winters

Ok messing with the Muppets was one thing....but the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders!?! That's crossing the line!! I may never be able to watch them shake their......


Spoiler



pom poms


...... again after seeing that picture!


----------



## David McAfee

T.M. Roy said:


> I wanna know:
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> just where is McAffee's other hand in that latest photo?
> 
> 
> 
> I can't help it, I'm twisted and evil. I can't even blame this thread.


Well, let's just say that moments after that photo was taken, I walked off the field with a bright red hand print on my right cheek...


----------



## Philip Chen

Does this mean that you are no longer undead?


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Even death cannot stop McAfee's flirting.


----------



## Michael Crane

Half-Orc said:


> Even death cannot stop McAfee's flirting.


McAfee flirts with Death??!! 










Or maybe I read that wrong...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Heh heh heh heh.

*decides not to make a whip joke*


----------



## Brenda Carroll

OT: I suggest that you attach a poll to the thread with some name choices listed and have a voting contest to decide on a permanent name for the thread and offer a free copy of your book.


----------



## David McAfee

Brendan Carroll said:


> OT: I suggest that you attach a poll to the thread with some name choices listed and have a voting contest to decide on a permanent name for the thread and offer a free copy of your book.


I _like_ the changing name.


----------



## telracs

Philip Chen said:


> Does this mean that you are no longer undead?


Yeah, it was just a 72 hour dead.


----------



## Brenda Carroll

I like free books.


----------



## terryr

I like pickled garlic and peanut butter sandwiches.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

T.M. Roy said:


> I like pickled garlic and peanut butter sandwiches.


I had a roommate who'd eat tuna and peanut butter sandwiches.

I'm not kidding. He loved them.


----------



## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> I had a roommate who'd eat tuna and peanut butter sandwiches.
> 
> I'm not kidding. He loved them.


Who you kidding? It was you.


----------



## terryr

I don't think I'd mind tuna and peanut butter as long as some kimchee or Thai red curry was added to it.


----------



## David McAfee

OK, folks! Here it is. I am going to let YOU guys decide the next name for this thread. Post ONE word. The first seven (7) words will be the new thread name (provided there aren't too many characters to fit.)


----------



## telracs

hideous


----------



## Daniel Pyle

Davids


----------



## terryr

Heliogeomagnetics


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Kimchee


----------



## BTackitt

Banned


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Poptarts


----------



## Guest

tactology


----------



## julieannfelicity

Darn!  I was going to add POSER!


----------



## David McAfee

All excellent choices. Woulda been nice if the title made sense, but I guess since the whole thread is pretty nonsensical, it doesn't really matter.


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> All excellent choices. Woulda been nice if the title made sense, but I guess since the whole thread is pretty nonsensical, it doesn't really matter.


Well, if you add an apostrophe in Davids and Poptarts, it will make sense.


----------



## intinst

Please, please don't make me look at anymore of THOSE pictures!


----------



## Victorine

This thread never disappoints.  I always laugh my guts out when I read it.  Love the cheerleader pic.  That's classic.

Vicki


----------



## terryr

I'm applying for a government grant to study heliogeomagnetic activity in kimchee right now!


----------



## telracs

What's Tactology?


----------



## Chad Winters

The study of tact?

or the study of touch (tactile)?  

This was on some blog called Tactology, but I think he made it up as it is essentially an incoherent mess of words thrown together. 

"TACTOLOGY
TAC-TO-LO-GY -NOUN 1. THE BELIEF IN PORTRAYING AN ORDINARY CONCEPT AND CREATING ITS FORM AND FUNCTION INTO A PHENOMENON. 2. THE ART OF OBSERVING THE BEHAVIOR OF POP CULTURE BETWEEN THE PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE. 3. THE MOTIVATION AND CHARACTER BUILT IN BETWEEN THE LIFE OF THE UNBORN AND THE UNDERSTATED."


----------



## Susan in VA

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> it is essentially an incoherent mess of words thrown together.


Such a wonderful description. And it can be applied to so many things....


----------



## intinst

Susan in VA said:


> Such a wonderful description. And it can be applied to so many things....


Especially here!


----------



## traceya

I thought I'd gone mad for a second when I looked at the thread title... then I realised I had


----------



## David McAfee

traceya said:


> I thought I'd gone mad for a second when I looked at the thread title... then I realised I had


That was my goal!


----------



## traceya

David McAfee said:


> That was my goal!


I see.... first you scare ten years off my life then drive me mad. I like it.  You definitely have evil genius potential my friend. I bet you do a mean impersonation of Mr. Burns..... Excellent


----------



## David McAfee

traceya said:


> I see.... first you scare ten years off my life then drive me mad. I like it.  You definitely have evil genius potential my friend. I bet you do a mean impersonation of Mr. Burns..... Excellent


I do, actually. he was always my favorite character on that show after Homer.


----------



## telracs

traceya said:


> I thought I'd gone mad for a second when I looked at the thread title... then I realised I had


And now he's changed it again.

I think we should force him to not change it more than once per week.


----------



## Victorine

I think he likes having the power.  It enables him.  Quick, look away before he notices we're all looking at him.

Vicki


----------



## David McAfee

Victorine said:


> I think he likes having the power. It enables him. Quick, look away before he notices we're all looking at him.
> 
> Vicki


Too late.

Hey, everyone. Look at me! *David rides a unicycle through the cafe while juggling five flaming bowling pins in one hand and holding a human skull (real? Dunno!) in the other. Then he begins to recite his line...*

Alas, poor Yorick...


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> Too late.
> 
> Hey, everyone. Look at me! *David rides a unicycle through the cafe while juggling five flaming bowling pins in one hand and holding a human skull (real? Dunno!) in the other. Then he begins to recite his line...*
> 
> Alas, poor Yorick...


And then he crashes into the far wall of the cafe, sending patrons scurrying to escape the flaming bowling pins.

(well, let's see what 2 more dead days do for him).


----------



## JL Bryan

You guys have just wasted an hour of my life with this thread.

Now, I will have my revenge:


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Hrrmm..I see my maggot self, and all I can think of is "nom nom nom"


----------



## Victorine

Half-Orc said:


> Hrrmm..I see my maggot self, and all I can think of is "nom nom nom"


Ooooh, I wanna see myself as a maggot. 

Vicki


----------



## traceya

Victorine said:


> Ooooh, I wanna see myself as a maggot.
> 
> Vicki


Careful Vicki - this thread will drive you mad too. In fact I think I see signs already


----------



## David McAfee

traceya said:


> Careful Vicki - this thread will drive you mad too. In fact I think I see signs already


PFFT! Talk about a short trip!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

The question is: who's hand are we eating??


----------



## traceya

Half-Orc said:


> The question is: who's hand are we eating??


I'm gonna vote for Scarlet's but only cause I'm half a world away and don't think she can do me too much harm


----------



## Victorine

David McAfee said:


> PFFT! Talk about a short trip!


Uh... what exactly are you implying?










Vicki


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

traceya said:


> I'm gonna vote for Scarlet's but only cause I'm half a world away and don't think she can do me too much harm


Never underestimate Scarlet....



Betsy


----------



## traceya

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Never underestimate Scarlet....
> 
> 
> 
> Betsy


True.... this could be a good time to hide under my desk or beg forgiveness


----------



## Andra

traceya said:


> True.... this could be a good time to hide under my desk or beg forgiveness


Or pull out large amounts of chocolate!!!


----------



## telracs

traceya said:


> I'm gonna vote for Scarlet's but only cause I'm half a world away and don't think she can do me too much harm


Be warned Tracey, I've been through Brisbane and may have left some of my essence behind to haunt you.


Betsy the Quilter said:


> Never underestimate Scarlet....
> 
> 
> 
> Betsy


Thank you dear...



traceya said:


> True.... this could be a good time to hide under my desk or beg forgiveness


Good plan....



Andra said:


> Or pull out large amounts of chocolate!!!


Better plan!


----------



## traceya

***Starts seriously searching for sufficient good quality chocolate***


----------



## telracs

traceya said:


> ***Starts seriously searching for sufficient good quality chocolate***


actually, if you're buying, i got this really good candy "sugar" something at the Victoria Market in Melbourne... darn, can't remember the stall's name!


----------



## telracs

found it!

http://www.suga.com.au/


----------



## traceya

scarlet said:


> found it!
> 
> http://www.suga.com.au/


I've been there... when I lived in Melb. briefly. Melb also has great tailors, a little known secret


----------



## telracs

traceya said:


> I've been there... when I lived in Melb. briefly. Melb also has great tailors, a little known secret


I bought enough that it lasted me about 3 months after I got home....


----------



## R. M. Reed

Victorine said:


> Ooooh, I wanna see myself as a maggot.
> 
> Vicki


Be careful what you wish for.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

But she's so cuuute.


----------



## telracs

Hey, Robin, wanna do an avatar for me for next month?


----------



## R. M. Reed

Sure, Scarlet. Based on the current one? The same basic pose? Let me know.


----------



## telracs

R. Reed said:


> Sure, Scarlet. Based on the current one? The same basic pose? Let me know.


Will let you know!


----------



## David McAfee

R. Reed said:


> Be careful what you wish for.


*snort*


----------



## D. Nathan Hilliard

R. Reed said:


> Be careful what you wish for.


Whoah! It's like my second grade teacher mated with Jabba the Hutt!


----------



## JL Bryan

Robin Reed's drawing skills > my Photoshop skills


----------



## Michael Crane

*SHENANIGANS!!!!!*

sorry... just felt like yelling that, and this seemed like the perfect thread to do it in.


----------



## telracs

Michael Crane said:


> *SHENANIGANS!!!!!*
> 
> sorry... just felt like yelling that, and this seemed like the perfect thread to do it in.


isn't "inane babble" a redundancy?


----------



## JL Bryan

scarlet said:


> isn't "inane babble" a redundancy?


"Rational" babble has been theorized by quantum physicists but never proven to exist.


----------



## traceya

Just wanted to check and yep... still mad.    Me and the thread.

Shenanigans indeed


----------



## Guest

*Evil geniuses for a better tomorrow!*


----------



## traceya

M.R. Mathias said:


> *Evil geniuses for a better tomorrow!*


Excellent


----------



## Victorine

R. Reed said:


> Be careful what you wish for.


OMGosh that looks JUST like me!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I love it! 

Vicki


----------



## CraigInOregon

Tracya has been mad for as long as I've been on these boards!

...so, like a bit more than a month, maybe...

...nevermind...


----------



## Michael Crane

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Tracya has been mad for as long as I've been on these boards!
> 
> ...so, like a bit more than a month, maybe...
> 
> ...nevermind...


Is she mad as hell and not going to take it anymore?


----------



## traceya

Michael Crane said:


> Is she mad as hell and not going to take it anymore?


Too right... I'm mad as hell and standing up for sanity and sensible conversation  Oh who am I kidding?



CraigInTwinCities said:


> Tracya has been mad for as long as I've been on these boards!
> 
> ...so, like a bit more than a month, maybe...
> 
> ...nevermind...


Hey, who told you that? I'll sue them for repeating the truth like that.... fancy saying I've gone mad when I have


----------



## Guest

KND baby! Whooo Hoooo!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

M.R. Mathias said:


> KND baby! Whooo Hoooo!


Mathias, only you could post something off-topic in a thread _devoted_ to being off-topic.


----------



## Guest

Half-Orc said:


> Mathias, only you could post something off-topic in a thread _devoted_ to being off-topic.


I did it for you David.... and your .99 sales page stealer


----------



## David McAfee

C'mon... _someone's_ got to have some good, goofy photoshopping to add to this thread. It might go even further off topic. *gasp!*


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Betsy the Quilter said:


> I hear McAfee was a Cowboys fans, did some searching, and found out what his day job is...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Betsy


GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Michael Crane

David McAfee said:


> C'mon... _someone's_ got to have some good, goofy photoshopping to add to this thread. It might go even further off topic. *gasp!*


I would, but I'm still a newbie when it comes to photoshopping.


----------



## julieannfelicity

David McAfee said:


> C'mon... _someone's_ got to have some good, goofy photoshopping to add to this thread. It might go even further off topic. *gasp!*


I would, but I gots me a branny new computer (translation: Woo hoo, I got a brand new Studio XPS 435T, with an i7 intel core processor 920 @ 2.67 GHz, 3 gigs of RAM, & 64 bit Windows 7 Operating System). Can we all join in with Wayne and Garth in saying, *Scchhweeeeeett!!!*  

So yeah, I haven't installed my Paint Shop program yet


----------



## Michael Crane

Okay, this isn't the greatest, but it isn't too bad for a newbie. My first attempt, ever!


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Michael Crane said:


>


"Twas a pun."

"A PUN?!"

"No no, not a pun... what dya call them things that are the same forwards as backwards?"

"A palindrome?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"That's not a palindrome! The palindrome of Davids would be Sdivad!"


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Wwooooooooooww


----------



## Michael Crane

DArenson said:


> "Twas a pun."
> 
> "A PUN?!"
> 
> "No no, not a pun... what dya call them things that are the same forwards as backwards?"
> 
> "A palindrome?"
> 
> "Yeah, yeah."
> 
> "That's not a palindrome! The palindrome of Davids would be Sdivad!"


 

Very nice!

I wished I was better at photoshopping... will have to work on it. But I tried!


----------



## Michael Crane

The ultimate battle of the Davids... the final showdown.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

I was at the amusement park this morning, and I saw something that was just... well, I took a picture. Take a look:


----------



## David McAfee

Michael Crane said:


> Okay, this isn't the greatest, but it isn't too bad for a newbie. My first attempt, ever!


What... what's that on my head? Is it... is it? Coudl it be?

HAIR! I HAVE HAIR!!!


----------



## BTackitt

DArenson said:


> I was at the amusement park this morning, and I saw something that was just... well, I took a picture. Take a look:


OHHH what amusement park?? not that I would go there and play this.. nooooooooooooo


----------



## Victorine

I loved the pet shop Davids!!!  That's much better than I can do with photoshop.  I'm a photoshop dummy.

I would play whack a David.  Where's that amusement park?

Vicki


----------



## Michael Crane

Victorine said:


> I loved the pet shop Davids!!! That's much better than I can do with photoshop. I'm a photoshop dummy.


Thanks!  It was fun for a first attempt. I'll have to play around with the program some more.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I'm make a Wack-a-David joke, but this is a family forum...


----------



## Michael Crane

Okay, I'm getting the hang of this now...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Michael Crane said:


> Okay, I'm getting the hang of this now...


Aw that's not fair. I wanna be mega-man!


----------



## Michael Crane

Half-Orc said:


> Aw that's not fair. I wanna be mega-man!


How's this?


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Michael Crane said:


> How's this?


Well, at least you have SOME hair here, McAfee.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Haha, I like the way McAfee looks in that pic. The mouthguard thing is just neat. He's a scary madman, I think we all knew that.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Half-Orc said:


> Haha, I like the way McAfee looks in that pic. The mouthguard thing is just neat. He's a scary madman, I think we all knew that.


And you have some impressive muscles there.


----------



## Michael Crane

(Sigh... so much for getting any writing done.)


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Yeah, I'm supposed to be writing now, too. You're not helping either, Mike.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

I came up with a brilliant idea for the great masterpiece of the century.  I was about to write it down, and then I saw Davids in a video game.  Now the idea is gone.

Thanks Mike!


----------



## Michael Crane

Half-Orc said:


> Yeah, I'm supposed to be writing now, too. You're not helping either, Mike.


Yeah, I'm just being a trouble-maker today... John just mentioned that he was watching the DARKWING DUCK intro over and over again because I mentioned it.

Slacking loves company, what can I say?


----------



## Michael Crane

DArenson said:


> I came up with a brilliant idea for the great masterpiece of the century. I was about to write it down, and then I saw Davids in a video game. Now the idea is gone.
> 
> Thanks Mike!


 

When I'm not writing, NOBODY ELSE writes. That's the law. Or it should be one.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Michael Crane said:


> Yeah, I'm just being a trouble-maker today... John just mentioned that he was watching the DARKWING DUCK intro over and over again because I mentioned it.


I've always preferred Duck Tales. Watch THIS:


----------



## Daniel Arenson

There!  I did it!  Somehow despite all of you, I managed to finish the scene I had planned to write this afternoon.  It's 1200 words, and took three times as long as I thought, what with all the silliness here, but it's done, and it's a great scene.  

(And I even sold a couple books while writing it.)


----------



## Michael Crane

DArenson said:


> There! I did it! Somehow despite all of you, I managed to finish the scene I had planned to write this afternoon. It's 1200 words, and took three times as long as I thought, what with all the *silliness* here, but it's done, and it's a great scene.


----------



## Michael Crane

Some more McAfee sightings...


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Michael Crane said:


> Some more McAfee sightings...


OMFGROTFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

No wonder you couldn't hit a warp zone....


----------



## Michael Crane

John Fitch V said:


> OMFGROTFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
> 
> No wonder you couldn't hit a warp zone....


 

Wow... I went a little PS crazy on this thread... funny how I said I couldn't because I didn't know how to PS. My apologies!


----------



## David McAfee

Michael Crane said:


> Some more McAfee sightings...


Y'all didn't know I worked for Bowser, didja?


----------



## traceya

I swear I laughed so hard I thought I'd cough up a lung    

McAfee with hair?  Whack-A-David?  Why can't I photoshop like that


----------



## telracs

Real men don't need hair.


Spoiler



it gets in their quiche.


----------



## traceya

scarlet said:


> Real men don't need hair.
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> it gets in their quiche.


ROFLMAO


----------



## Victorine

The photoshopping is making me laugh soooo hard.  I gotta play with it more.  I have no idea how to do those cool things.

This thread is killing me.  And I didn't write a single word this evening.  Shame shame shame on me!!!

Vicki


----------



## Michael Crane

David McAfee said:


> Y'all didn't know I worked for Bowser, didja?


I was pretty shocked to find that out myself!  Well played, sir. Well played...

And thanks everybody! Glad you liked them! Was afraid I was going too overboard with the photoshopping. Once I started getting the hang of it, it was hard to stop.


----------



## telracs

Michael Crane said:


> I was pretty shocked to find that out myself!  Well played, sir. Well played...
> 
> And thanks everybody! Glad you liked them! Was afraid I was going too overboard with the photoshopping. Once I started getting the hang of it, it was hard to stop.


I understand. That's like me and my photo effects.


----------



## Michael Crane

scarlet said:


> I understand. That's like me and my photo effects.


Hard to stop when you know you're on a roll!

I should've been writing today... but this was too much fun.


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## traceya

Michael Crane said:


>


Oh man not Family Guy.... first the Muppets and now this 
I *love *Family Guy but only for Stewie and the dog


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Michael Crane said:


>


OK, that just isn't right...

Betsy


----------



## Michael Crane

Betsy the Quilter said:


> OK, that just isn't right...
> 
> Betsy


When was this thread ever right?


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Daniel Arenson

Michael Crane said:


>


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Blue! NO, wait!


----------



## Michael Crane

Half-Orc said:


> Blue! NO, wait!


You two were totally supposed to be in that movie!! A shame you couldn't answer the questions three to cross the Bridge of Death...


----------



## Daniel Arenson




----------



## Michael Crane

DArenson said:


>


   

Nice!!!










The war of the Davids is getting serious... it's gone international!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Oh dear God......


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

You shoulda made Scarlet Splash-woman.


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> You shoulda made Scarlet Splash-woman.


See, it's harder to mess with me, because I don't have picture of the real me (if there is a REAL me) as my avatar...

And I ain't gonna tell you where to find photos of me.


----------



## Michael Crane

On front of photo: *DAVEY M.*

On back: *DON'T BELIEVE HIS LIES*


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Oh, that's very good....


Betsy


----------



## Michael Crane

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Oh, that's very good....
> 
> 
> Betsy


Thanks! 

From one of my favorite movies. Of course with the DAVIDS twist to it...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

My wife made me watch that movie, and I'm glad she did. I'd be a terrible protagonist for that movie. I'm such a wimp. I couldn't tattoo myself like that.


----------



## Michael Crane

Half-Orc said:


> My wife made me watch that movie, and I'm glad she did. I'd be a terrible protagonist for that movie. I'm such a wimp. I couldn't tattoo myself like that.


Same here... I'd either have to use temporary tattoos that you just stick on or use a black marker.


----------



## telracs

Michael Crane said:


> Thanks!
> 
> From one of my favorite movies. Of course with the DAVIDS twist to it...


Pardon my ignorance, but fairies in training don't do movies, so what movie is it?


----------



## Michael Crane

scarlet said:


> Pardon my ignorance, but fairies in training don't do movies, so what movie is it?


----------



## telracs

thanks.  must check if it's on Netflix.


----------



## Michael Crane

scarlet said:


> thanks. must check if it's on Netflix.


Very good movie. Have to see it more than once. The movie is told in reverse order.


----------



## Victorine

Michael Crane said:


> Very good movie. Have to see it more than once. The movie is told in reverse order.


That sound very cool. I might have to rent that one.

Vicki


----------



## David McAfee

Michael Crane said:


> On front of photo: *DAVEY M.*
> 
> On back: *DON'T BELIEVE HIS LIES*


Um... really.. the "Davey" thing? Yeah, I really, really, reeaaaaaaallly hate being called "Davey." Call me David, Dave, D-Mac, Monkeyfeet, Big Dawg D,


Spoiler



asshole


, jerkwad, or anything else.

But leave the Davey out of it, OK?


----------



## terryr

I had to do one from one of my favorite shows.


----------



## telracs

T.M. Roy said:


> I had to do one from one of my favorite shows.


I'm their captain? Dangerous...


----------



## David McAfee

scarlet said:


> I'm their captain? Dangerous...


She'll order us to search uncharted planets for new forms of chocolate...


----------



## Daniel Arenson

David McAfee said:


> Um... really.. the "Davey" thing? Yeah, I really, really, reeaaaaaaallly hate being called "Davey." Call me David, Dave, D-Mac, Monkeyfeet, Big Dawg D,
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> [expletive]
> 
> 
> , jerkwad, or anything else.
> 
> But leave the Davey out of it, OK?


Same with me and "Dan". Many people call me "Dan", and I always have to correct them.

Daniel


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> She'll order us to search uncharted planets for new forms of chocolate...


you know me so well.


----------



## David McAfee

DArenson said:


> Same with me and "Dan". Many people call me "Dan", and I always have to correct them.
> 
> Daniel


It's the only one I can't stand. I dunno why. It might have something to do with those goofy claymation cartoons. You know the ones I'm talking about.

Anyway, didn't mean to come across as a


Spoiler



dick


. I just really hate that name. 



scarlet said:


> you know me so well.


I do. I do.

Have a liqueur-filled chocolate.


----------



## Michael Crane

Sorry about that.    I only went with DAVEY because a character in it is called TEDDY, so I was trying to stick with that.


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> I do. I do.
> 
> Have a liqueur-filled chocolate.


Don't forget to chart the new planet.


----------



## David McAfee

Michael Crane said:


> Sorry about that.  I only went with DAVEY because a character in it is called TEDDY, so I was trying to stick with that.


Totally cool, Michael. 



scarlet said:


> Don't forget to chart the new planet.


You just want unlimited chocolate.


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> You just want unlimited chocolate.


Well, d'uh....


----------



## Michael Crane

Victorine said:


> That sound very cool. I might have to rent that one.
> 
> Vicki


It's worth checking out!


----------



## David McAfee

Victorine said:


> That sound very cool. I might have to rent that one.
> 
> Vicki


*GASP* Vic... Victorine... is that? Is that? A....a typo? In _your_ post?

AAAAHHHHHH!

-BONK!-

Ow. I think a piece of the sky just hit me on the head.


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## David McAfee

Michael Crane said:


>


Hahahahahaaaaa! _I'm_ Mario. Dalglish is Loogie!

Hahahahahahahahaaaa!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

NOoooooo!

Pfft.

At least I'm not Yoshi.


----------



## telracs

T.L. Haddix said:


> Okay, here's a good one. Enjoy. (I also have one of Scarlet, but not sure if I'm brave enough to post it. It is pretty flattering....she's a pin-up girl.)


Go for it T.L.! If I don't like it, I'll PM you.


----------



## Michael Crane

Half-Orc said:


> NOoooooo!
> 
> Pfft.
> 
> At least I'm not Yoshi.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I don't think I am at all comfortable with the location of McAfee's head in that strange He-Man one....


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Scarlet's the She-Hulk.


----------



## telracs

T.L. Haddix said:


> Okay, Scarlet - here goes!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> There's an interesting back story about this drawing - and how not hearing well can turn out some interesting ideas. That's for another thread, though.


T.L., I LOVE it! I may borrow it for an avatar at some point!


----------



## Michael Crane

John McAfee shooting at terrorist, Hans Theron. Yippee-Ki-Yay, mother$%^#@$!


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Is that a possum on his head?

Betsy


----------



## 911jason

David McAfee said:


> It might have something to do with those goofy claymation cartoons. You know the ones I'm talking about.


You mean this one?


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Davey? Daveyyyy?


----------



## David McAfee

911jason said:


> You mean this one?


Hahahahahahahahaahahahaaahahaaaaaahahahaaaaa!

Good Dalglish! Sit! Good boy!

Ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! I think I just soiled myself.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

...

...

woof?


----------



## Michael Crane

"I will welease... WOGER!!!"


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Something tells me we will all rue the day Mike Crane discovered photoshop...


----------



## Daniel Arenson

911jason said:


> You mean this one?


----------



## Daniel Pyle

Half-Orc said:


> Something tells me we will all rue the day Mike Crane discovered photoshop...


I would have thought that day had already been rued.


----------



## Michael Crane

Half-Orc said:


> Something tells me we will all rue the day Mike Crane discovered photoshop...


 

Alright, alright! I'll try to tone it down a bit... was just trying to get this back on topic--or is it off topic?


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Haha, no worries. It's just amusing. I never know what nerdy reference I'm about to be photoshopped in.


----------



## Michael Crane

Half-Orc said:


> Haha, no worries. It's just amusing. I never know what nerdy reference I'm about to be photoshopped in.


I know... sometimes I scare myself.  It's fun, though!


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Thank goodness my avatar is too small for photoshopping.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Half-Orc said:


> Haha, no worries. It's just amusing. I never know what nerdy reference I'm about to be photoshopped in.












Betsy


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

DArenson said:


> Thank goodness my avatar is too small for photoshopping.


sounds like a challenge to me.


Betsy


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Betsy the Quilter said:


> sounds like a challenge to me.
> 
> 
> Betsy


Eek... I hope I'm not opening a pandora's box here... :S


----------



## Michael Crane

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Betsy


 

I like it!


----------



## Daniel Pyle

Okay, I just had to make a David County, Jr.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Image is broken for me


----------



## Daniel Pyle

Half-Orc said:


> Image is broken for me


That's weird. How about now?


----------



## Daniel Pyle

T.L. Haddix said:


> David County, Jr. - as in Brisco? Welllll, helllloooooo Brrrrr-isco. I loved that show. Bruce Campbell rocks!


Me, too. _Brisco County, Jr._ and _Firefly_ were two of my favorite shows ever, and they both ended way too soon.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Daniel Pyle said:


> That's weird. How about now?


I couldn't see it before but I can now...

Betsy


----------



## Michael Crane

"Two McAfees with the same gun!"

Sorry... couldn't resist!


----------



## telracs

Michael Crane said:


> "Two McAfees with the same gun!"
> 
> Sorry... couldn't resist!


Love it! Watched that movie a couple of weeks ago.


----------



## Michael Crane

scarlet said:


> Love it! Watched that movie a couple of weeks ago.


Such a good movie. Me and my friends are always quoting from the movies.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Ooooh, I look good in a cowboy hat.


----------



## telracs

T.L.  We need to assure Steph that I'm not still in her dress.


----------



## traceya

Just when I think the weirdness has reached a peak.... it peaks again.  

I'm not even game enough to touch photoshop now, I keep having nightmares that the program will be filled with David's and I'll never get away from the insanity


----------



## Daniel Pyle

Betsy the Quilter said:


> I couldn't see it before but I can now...
> 
> Betsy


I changed it from a png to a jpg. I guess maybe pngs don't show up on all browsers?


----------



## Steph H

Scarlet keeps stealing my red dress for her avatars. I told her she better have been wearing her own red dress when she tore through it in her new She-Hulk avatar that you came up with for her....


----------



## telracs

T.L. Haddix said:


> Scarlet,
> 
> I missed it - what dress?


See, in the In Her Name books, Steph's alter ego has a red dress. My flamenco dancer avatar was wearing a red dress that we decided my alter ego has "borrowed" from Steph. But then Philip's cartoon of me had Scarlet in water, so Steph said it better not be her dress. Now that it looks like I burst out of the dress, we just need to assure her that it's not "her" dress.
Clear as mud, I know....


----------



## RonnellDPorter

I'm not going to even dream of reading this thread since it would take way too much time to catch up. BUT since I see this thread at the top of the Writer's Cafe every single day I thought that I ought to post in it to be one of the cool kids   Is that comraderie and acceptance I smell?


----------



## telracs

RonnellDPorter said:


> I'm not going to even dream of reading this thread since it would take way too much time to catch up. BUT since I see this thread at the top of the Writer's Cafe every single day I thought that I ought to post in it to be one of the cool kids


It's mostly pictures, so you can probably read it fast. If you don't you won't know the secret handshake to get into the clubhouse.


----------



## Victorine

David McAfee said:


> *GASP* Vic... Victorine... is that? Is that? A....a typo? In _your_ post?
> 
> AAAAHHHHHH!
> 
> -BONK!-
> 
> Ow. I think a piece of the sky just hit me on the head.


Typo? Blast. I done did it again.

Why is it you're always there to point out my typos, anyway? 

*Throws the leftover meatloaf at McAfee*

Vicki


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Michael Crane said:


> "Two McAfees with the same gun!"
> 
> Sorry... couldn't resist!


BIFF!



Michael, you are something of a mad, twisted genius.


----------



## Michael Crane

DArenson said:


> BIFF!
> 
> 
> 
> Michael, you are something of a mad, twisted genius.


Thanks!  I do what I can.


----------



## David McAfee

Victorine said:


> Typo? Blast. I done did it again.
> 
> Why is it you're always there to point out my typos, anyway?
> 
> *Throws the leftover meatloaf at McAfee*
> 
> Vicki


Meatloaf? Whew. I thought that was the sky falling on me.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

David McAfee said:


> Meatloaf? Whew. I thought that was the sky falling on me.











Meatloaf falls on David....

Betsy


----------



## Michael Crane

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Meatloaf falls on David....
> 
> Betsy


----------



## R. M. Reed

That last picture made me laugh and snort loudly.


----------



## 911jason




----------



## Andra

Meatloaf falls on David...

I just spewed tea all over my desk!!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Hhahahahhah


----------



## terryr

I was waiting for that, or a comment "Meat Loaf---again?"

Thanks for not disappointing, Betsy! ROFL!


----------



## telracs

911jason said:


>


yeah, it's still not safe to come out jason...

btw, I thought for a second I was going to see a Rocky Horror Picture since I saw the last posts first (uh-oh, is it dangerous to mention RHPS in this thread?)


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

T.M. Roy said:


> I was waiting for that, or a comment "Meat Loaf---again?"
> 
> Thanks for not disappointing, Betsy! ROFL!


While I hate being predictable, some openings are too big to not drive through. 

Betsy


----------



## JL Bryan

Michael Crane said:


> "Two McAfees with the same gun!"


And the headline in the paper reads "Local Author Murdered," at least until McAfee can find fuel for the DeLorean...
In the movie, that headline makes no sense. When Marty comes back to 1985 at the end of the first movie, George recieves a book, and Lorraine says "Oh, George, your first novel!"
Then in Back to the Future II, George McFly was murdered in the mid-1970s--BEFORE he published his first novel in 1985. Yet the 1970s headline reads "Local Author Murdered."

Great Scott, this is heavy.


----------



## telracs

JL Bryan said:


> And the headline in the paper reads "Local Author Murdered," at least until McAfee can find fuel for the DeLorean...
> In the movie, that headline makes no sense. When Marty comes back to 1985 at the end of the first movie, George recieves a book, and Lorraine says "Oh, George, your first novel!"
> Then in Back to the Future II, George McFly was murdered in the mid-1970s--BEFORE he published his first novel in 1985. Yet the 1970s headline reads "Local Author Murdered."
> 
> Great Scott, this is heavy.


Yes, it's his first NOVEL. But he could have written a non-fiction book earlier and that would still make him an author.

(that's my story, and I'm sticking to it).


----------



## JL Bryan

You're saying, maybe he took a detour between writing science fiction in high school and writing science fiction as an adult?

I wonder what McFly's nonfiction book was. Perhaps _Don't Con Me, Biff! Standing Up to Bullies at School and in the Workplace._


----------



## Michael Crane

Plus, let's not forget that it's Alternate 1985... the whole timeline ended up getting messed up.


----------



## JL Bryan

Michael Crane said:


> Plus, let's not forget that it's Alternate 1985... the whole timeline ended up getting messed up.


Biff's success at the horse track caused McFly to redouble his writing efforts, so he ended up published a decade earlier...it's possible.


----------



## R. M. Reed

I suspect that it all has more to do with the actor who played Marty's father not being able to appear in the sequels, so some re-writing was done and somebody didn't spot the problem. I have seen the movies several times, and I never spotted it.


----------



## Steph H

What Bringing logic into a thread?? Sheesh. You should be banned for such heresy.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Especially THIS thread.


----------



## Michael Crane

Steph H said:


> What Bringing logic into a thread?? Sheesh. You should be banned for such heresy.


"Why don't ya make like a tree, and get outta here?"


----------



## telracs

Michael Crane said:


> "Why don't ya make like a tree, and get outta here?"


That makes as much sense as a screen door on a battleship.


----------



## Daniel Pyle

scarlet said:


> That makes as much sense as a screen door on a battleship.


I heart _Back to the Future_.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

I watched the Back to the Future movies a thousand times growing up. As an adult, I finally bought the DVDs... and some of the deleted scenes are VERY interesting.

For example, you might remember how in the first movie, at the dinner table, George fills his bowl with peanut brittle. I always found that hilarious; why is he heating a bowl of cookies for dinner? Brilliant! BUT on the DVDs, you see a missing scene that explains it. There are some other very, very interesting deleted scenes, too.

You can watch them here:

http://www.viddler.com/explore/TheDeadRat/videos/9/


----------



## bluefrog

JL Bryan said:


> You're saying, maybe he took a detour between writing science fiction in high school and writing science fiction as an adult?
> 
> I wonder what McFly's nonfiction book was. Perhaps _Don't Con Me, Biff! Standing Up to Bullies at School and in the Workplace._


Maybe he only published short stories in magazines before his novel. It makes more sense to me that he wrote SF stories than a non-fiction book.
Or is sense as unwelcome as logic here? lol


----------



## telracs

bluefrog said:


> Maybe he only published short stories in magazines before his novel. It makes more sense to me that he wrote SF stories than a non-fiction book.


I like this idea!


----------



## Michael Crane

I love when Marty asks him what he's writing, and he says, "Uh... STORIES."

The way he says it cracks me up every time.


----------



## Victorine

I love Back to the Future... all of them.  I've seen them a zillion times, especially after my kids started watching them. 

And they're great for teaching kids all the words they're not supposed to say to their teachers at school...  

Vicki

Still laughing about Meatloaf falling on McAfee...


----------



## traceya

Now you've got me all nostalgic for Back to the Future, gonna have to go rent them all. 

Love Meatloaf falling on McAfee, Betsy, ROFLMAO - although I did get weird pictures in my head related to Rocky Horror [shouldn't have mentioned that Scarlet  ]


----------



## telracs

traceya said:


> Now you've got me all nostalgic for Back to the Future, gonna have to go rent them all.
> 
> Love Meatloaf falling on McAfee, Betsy, ROFLMAO - although I did get weird pictures in my head related to Rocky Horror [shouldn't have mentioned that Scarlet  ]


"Meat Loaf again?" Sorry, that's a talk back line for RHPS.


----------



## julieannfelicity

Aww cribbage ... now I have, Time Warp stuck in my head again!


----------



## telracs

julieannfelicity said:


> Aww cribbage ... now I have, Time Warp stuck in my head again!


My evil deed for the day is done.


----------



## BTackitt

Gosh, miss a couple days to school, and this thread busts at the seams. David shooting David, Meatloaf falling on David, Back to the Future all over (BTW loved the link to the missing scenes) and to top it all off.. TIME WARP!!!!!!!!

Now I will go to bed with that song in my head.. thanks Scarletta.


----------



## bluefrog

scarlet said:


> "Meat Loaf again?"


----------



## 911jason

Nice shirt Dangles...


----------



## traceya

bluefrog said:


>


That's just wrong on so many levels


----------



## David McAfee

bluefrog said:


>


Ha! Awesome!


----------



## traceya

I don't know about awesome.... after that sight I may never watch Rocky Horror again!

There goes my Saturday nights


----------



## Michael Crane

Amazingly, I've never even seen the movie.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Nor have I.


Betsy


----------



## traceya

Michael Crane said:


> Amazingly, I've never even seen the movie.





Betsy the Quilter said:


> Nor have I.
> 
> 
> Betsy


May I respectfully ask.... why Funny, great music, bad plot, D grade acting.... seriously this movie has IT ALL!!!


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Not sure why....  It came out in '75, right in the middle of my college career, seems like we would have gone.  (Go to movies and drink was about all there was to do in the one theatre town where I went to college.)  Maybe it never made it to Dead Dog, MD....

Betsy


----------



## traceya

Betsy - take my advice, rent the movie, get some popcorn to throw at the TV [so maybe do it at a friends place so you don't have to clean up] and you will LYAO - trust me


----------



## Michael Crane

I have a list of movies that I haven't seen yet and need to.  It's almost as bad as my TBR list.


----------



## BTackitt

I saw it as a teen, then about 10 years ago I rented it at BB. DH watched it with me (His first time) and kept looking at me like I was NUTS for thinking it was hilarious and singing along... so, I never rented it again. Then last year, I found it in my college library, brougth it home thinking I would just watch it on my computer with headphones. He saw it sitting next to me and said "OH GOOOD! Get the Kids, Let's all watch it!" So we did, and all laughed and had a great night. DD spent the next day watching the Time Warp and learning how to do it.


----------



## Cindy416

There are two main reasons that I don't pick on the Davids.

1.  I don't want to provide any further distraction that will keep David M. from getting his sequel to 33 A.D. written.

2. I don't have Photoshop on my computer.      (This is by far the more important reason.)


----------



## 911jason

Cindy416 said:


> There are two main reasons that I don't pick on the Davids.
> 
> 1. I don't want to provide any further distraction that will keep David M. from getting his sequel to 33 A.D. written.
> 
> 2. I don't have Photoshop on my computer.  (This is by far the more important reason.)


Photoshop has an online version that's free, no idea how good it is... GIMP is a free PhotoShop alternative and there are lots of tutorials available through Google to teach you how to use it.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

There are several online image editing sites.  Have at it!


Betsy


----------



## Michael Crane

Betsy the Quilter said:


> There are several online image editing sites. Have at it!
> 
> 
> Betsy


I dunno if we want to get another person hooked on this... look at what happened to me! 

And that was supposed to be my writing weekend! Had to play catch-up this week.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

And I was supposed to be quilting. Instead, I was doing things like this...









Betsy


----------



## Michael Crane

Betsy the Quilter said:


> And I was supposed to be quilting. Instead, I was doing things like this...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Betsy


 

Love it!


----------



## traceya

That's funny stuff Betsy.... love it


----------



## julieannfelicity

Aww the poor David's ...


Betsy the Quilter said:


> And I was supposed to be quilting. Instead, I was doing things like this...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Betsy


Are they trying to pick their noses? Eeww

(*Laughing so hard milk actually came out of my nose*)


----------



## telracs

bluefrog said:


>


Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love it!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Defacing Rocky Horror now?!?!


----------



## telracs

John Fitch V said:


> Defacing Rocky Horror now?!?!


Improving it.


----------



## Guest

Betsy the Quilter said:


> And I was supposed to be quilting. Instead, I was doing things like this...
> Betsy


That's actually pretty good, Betsy! Much better than I could do. I've always been meaning to work up some Photoshop skillz, but I can still only do a few rudimentary things.


----------



## geoffthomas

It seems that we have created a new KB sport - disrespecting the Davids (well two of them).

What fun!

And Betsy has never seen Rocky Horror?

I must admit that it is better in a small theater with a bunch of college students dressed in costume throwing popcorn, chanting the lines, etc.

Drew Carey did a fab parody of the movie in his TV program a while back.
You will always be missing the "joke" if you haven't seen it.

Just sayin......


Oh yeah - nice pics of the Davids - keep it up.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Hey, Michael didn't see it either...

Betsy


----------



## R. M. Reed

The first time I saw Rocky Horror, the audience was so noisy I couldn't hear the movie, so I didn't know what the audience was reacting to. I had to rent it and watch it alone, years later because it didn't come out on video for a long time, before I knew what the fuss was all about.

I do have Photoshop and could add to "Fun with David Heads" but I am not sure I could think of anything sillier than what we have already seen.


----------



## Victorine

Oooh... I totally forgot about FaceInHole.com. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Here ya go... me picking on the Davids....




























Sorry, just couldn't help it...

Vicki


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

OMG that's awesome...off to check it out....

ooh and there's an iPad app.    I'm a happy girl.

Betsy


----------



## terryr

Rocky Horror and me: once in 1977 with a couple college roomies was all it took to remember the songs and a few key lines. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, since I didn't think it was necessary to see it again since then. The clip Tracey posted was the first visual in a long time.

I know this thread's likely put some of us off the thought of using our faces as our avatars, though...


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Many have faces as avatars, and yet, there's only David and David in this thread.    Something to ponder...

Betsy


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Oh... my.... God.... E.T.?!?!?! Is anything sacred?!?!?!!? And Gollum

*thinks*

Oh well...

And hey McAfee... nice rack.


----------



## Michael Crane

Victorine said:


> Oooh... I totally forgot about FaceInHole.com. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!


WHAT??!! I didn't even know such a site existed.   

Oh boy... me thinks this will be another weekend of photoshopping shenanigans for me. Glad I'm getting my writing done this week--because I'm sure I will have none accomplished this weekend!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Many have faces as avatars, and yet, there's only David and David in this thread.  Something to ponder...
> 
> Betsy


I've been waiting for people to go after me for weeks now... it hasn't happened yet.


----------



## Victorine

Somehow it always comes back to the Muppets....


----------



## Victorine

John Fitch V said:


> I've been waiting for people to go after me for weeks now... it hasn't happened yet.


Well... I wouldn't want you to feel left out...


----------



## Victorine

Oh, no, wait... this one is even better...


----------



## Sean Sweeney

*screams*


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Victorine said:


> Somehow it always comes back to the Muppets....


Absolutely, completely ROFL... that is soooooo wrong.

Betsy


----------



## telracs

This is why I will NEVER use my face as my avatar.


----------



## Michael Crane

You're too much, Vicki.


----------



## Victorine

scarlet said:


> This is why I will NEVER use my face as my avatar.


It's all good clean fun. 

Vicki


----------



## Steph H

Ahahahahahahahahaha!  Vicki, you're getting some major LOL points with those.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Victorine said:


> Oh, no, wait... this one is even better...


That broad certainly has 5 o'clock shadow going.....


----------



## telracs

Victorine said:


> It's all good clean fun.
> 
> Vicki


Until somebody puts an eye out.


----------



## Victorine

scarlet said:


> Until somebody puts an eye out.


Oh, then he'd look like this...










Vicki


----------



## julieannfelicity

Victorine said:


> Oh, no, wait... this one is even better...


Aww John, you didn't tell me you knew Robert Pattinson! Why don't you bring him over sometime? LOL


----------



## David McAfee

Victorine said:


> Oh, no, wait... this one is even better...


That is the best one yet.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

I still think Oligart as Kermit was the bomb.


----------



## Cindy416

Victorine said:


> Oooh... I totally forgot about FaceInHole.com. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
> 
> Here ya go... me picking on the Davids....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry, just couldn't help it...
> 
> Vicki


This is one of my favorites!


----------



## bluefrog

julieannfelicity said:


> Aww John, you didn't tell me you knew Robert Pattinson! Why don't you bring him over sometime? LOL


He's keeping him all to himself. 









As if I didn't have enough places to waste time...


----------



## David McAfee

I can't believe this thread has over 1,000 replies.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Considering this all started with a simple email.

"Wouldn't it be funny if we had a pretend fight, like a blatantly obvious one, and started photoshopping each other's covers?"

Never, ever, ever could have seen this coming.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Now I'm drooling over Oligart's rack! WTH! 

I mean, yeah, D-Mac and Oligart have their little bromance going... but can you let a third in here?


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

*now feels dirty*


----------



## Steph H

Took you this long?


----------



## bluefrog




----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Oh that is AWESOME.


----------



## BTackitt

Victorine said:


>


OH wow.. the look on Pattinson's face.. it's priceless with John there.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

bluefrog said:


> He's keeping him all to himself.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> As if I didn't have enough places to waste time...


Whoa, Davids with sexy elf bodies. I'm feeling so... confused... and... AHHH.


----------



## Michael Crane

These pics are cheering me up.  Thanks.    I needed that.


----------



## Michael Crane

"Dead or alive, you're coming with me."


----------



## Sean Sweeney

I have now officially seen everything.


----------



## David McAfee

Michael Crane said:


> "Dead or alive, you're coming with me."


I wore that outfit to my prom.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

*shaking my head with a tight grin*


----------



## Michael Crane

David McAfee said:


> I wore that outfit to my prom.


 

Nice!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

I'm biting my nails as to what's next.....


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Sean Sweeney

No idea........


----------



## Michael Crane

John Fitch V said:


> No idea........


From "Stepbrothers."


----------



## David McAfee

Wow, John. I knew that one and I've never even seen the movie.


----------



## Michael Crane

David McAfee said:


> Wow, John. I knew that one and I've never even seen the movie.


You didn't miss much. Had some funny moments, but wasn't overly great.

But I thought the picture looked good.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Never even heard of it.


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## traceya

Laughing so hard I can barely type..... way too funny    

I've got to get back to work and stop spending all my time here


----------



## Victorine

bluefrog said:


>


This is *awesome* I must say.

This thread... I just can't read this thread when other people are around. They look at me funny.

Vicki


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Daniel Arenson

Michael Crane said:


>


Dear Lord.

I've seen everything now. I really have.


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## JoeMitchell

I think DavidM would look good as Sark from the original Tron movie, but I don't have the skills to do it.

It would look much like that awesome Skelletor above.


----------



## Victorine

Well, I searched, but they don't have Sark from Tron. 

But this was funny.










Vicki


----------



## Sean Sweeney

I wanna be He-Man!


----------



## Michael Crane

JoeMitchell said:


> I think DavidM would look good as Sark from the original Tron movie, but I don't have the skills to do it.
> 
> It would look much like that awesome Skelletor above.


Is this the right one? It's been ages since I've seen that movie.


----------



## swcleveland

Re: "Everyone Else Is Picking On The Davids, Why Aren't You?"

Very well:

The both of you smell like soup.  Split pea.  With ham.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

swcleveland said:


> The both of you smell like soup. Split pea. With ham.


Mmmmm.... hammmmm.....


----------



## Michael Crane

John Fitch V said:


> I wanna be He-Man!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

YAY! My world's dream has come true.


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## bluefrog

JoeMitchell said:


> I think DavidM would look good as Sark from the original Tron movie


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Michael Crane said:


>


Oh that is a perfect match for my attitude and sense of humor.


----------



## traceya

Half-Orc said:


> Oh that is a perfect match for my attitude and sense of humor.


Oh I totally loved, loved, loved that movie.... Go away or I will taunt you another time 

That line is priceless


----------



## Victorine

I Jib-Jabbed my kids with that elf snowball fight one... it was SO funny!  The kids watched it a thousand times.  Of course, then I had to pay the $5 to buy the thing.  Ha ha ha ha!

Vicki


----------



## bluefrog

T.L. Haddix said:


> Okay, the southpark cartoony one? That rocks. So do the others, but seriously - if you put a walrus mustache on David M. you could use those two as Adam and Jamie from Mythbusters! Way cool.
> 
> Has anyone here ever elfed themselves?? Through Office Max/Jib-Jab at Christmas? Oh, my gosh. You can go to Jib-Jab and get a good idea of what the app does.


I actually found the south park thing when I was trying to find elf yourself. (which isn't back up yet)


----------



## Michael Crane

Half-Orc said:


> Oh that is a perfect match for my attitude and sense of humor.


I figured you'd like that one!

"I told them we've already got one." *giggles*


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

bluefrog said:


> I actually found the south park thing when I was trying to find elf yourself. (which isn't back up yet)


Is that a website? You must share....

Betsy


----------



## David McAfee

Michael Crane said:


>


"I told them we already got one." (raucus French laughter)


----------



## Michael Crane

Exactly!  

That movie never gets old for me... even if Camelot is a rather silly place.


----------



## David McAfee

Michael Crane said:


> Exactly!
> 
> That movie never gets old for me... even if Camelot is a rather silly place.


It's only silly if you're the one who has to push the pram a lot.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I do eat ham and jam and spam a lot.


----------



## R. M. Reed

I saw "Spamalot" in New York a few years ago. The only Broadway show I have ever seen on Broadway.


----------



## bluefrog

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Is that a website? You must share....
> 
> Betsy


http://www.sp-studio.de/ is where I made the South Park Davids.


----------



## Brenda Carroll

Half-Orc said:


> I do eat ham and jam and spam a lot.


I do not like green eggs and ham. Does Kermit eat green eggs and ham? I noticed that you said you used to date him for a while...


----------



## D. Nathan Hilliard

First, they picked on the Davids,
and we remained silent.
Then they came for the Daniels...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

D. Nathan Hilliard said:


> First, they picked on the Davids,
> and we remained silent.
> Then they came for the Daniels...


Remained silent? You kidding? You guys have laughed your heads off. Silent my butt...


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Michael Crane

"A witch! A witch!"

"Build a bridge out of her!"


----------



## David McAfee

"What else floats?"

"Churches! Churches!"

"Very small rocks!"


----------



## Victorine

Michael Crane said:


> "A witch! A witch!"
> 
> "Build a bridge out of her!"


Ha ha ha ha ha! Love it!

Vicki


----------



## Steph H

Michael Crane said:


>












That one fits so seamlessly, I had to doubletake to see what was done...


----------



## Michael Crane

Steph H said:


> That one fits so seamlessly, I had to doubletake to see what was done...


Thanks!

I'm proud of that one, too.


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Michael Crane

Just to show that I can be a good sport about this, too.


----------



## telracs

Michael Crane said:


> Just to show that I can be a good sport about this, too.


But it's not funny if you do it yourself...


----------



## Michael Crane

scarlet said:


> But it's not funny if you do it yourself...


True... it's more fun to do it to the others. Still, I wanted to show I was a good sport about it. Figured it was only fair with all of the nonsense I've been posting on here!


----------



## telracs

Michael Crane said:


> True... it's more fun to do it to the others. Still, I wanted to show I was a good sport about it. Figured it was only fair with all of the nonsense I've been posting on here!


well, if you find a photo of me (and there ARE some on the boards) have fun.


----------



## Victorine

Okay, Mike, post your photo here and I'll have some fun!  

My photo is on my website... or if I'm facebook friends with you there's plenty there... some of them you don't even have to photoshop, they're funny all on their own.  Ha ha ha ha!

Vicki


----------



## Michael Crane

Victorine said:


> Okay, Mike, post your photo here and I'll have some fun!
> 
> My photo is on my website... or if I'm facebook friends with you there's plenty there... some of them you don't even have to photoshop, they're funny all on their own. Ha ha ha ha!
> 
> Vicki


http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,35899.0.html

Here ya go! Have fun. Seriously, I can use a few laughs.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Somehow we always return to the muppets....


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Snapped at the local zoo....


----------



## drenee

Michael Crane said:


>


I'm pretty sure I saw you in Asheville, NC back in May at some comic festival. 
deb


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Michael Crane said:


>


That should be the opening splash screen to the Writer's Cafe, coupled with a warning.

"The Davids, plus Fitch, reside within. Beware."


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> That should be the opening splash screen to the Writer's Cafe, coupled with a warning.
> 
> "The Davids, plus Fitch, reside within. Beware."


I dunno. Crane's been acting up a lot more than you or I have these last few days. Maybe the Cafe should come with a warning about _him._

"WARNING: Entering the cafe may subject you to the artistic renderings of The PhotoShopper, a devious individual who likes nothing more than splashing innocent faces all over strange and funny photos."


----------



## traceya

David McAfee said:


> I dunno. Crane's been acting up a lot more than you or I have these last few days. Maybe the Cafe should come with a warning about _him._
> 
> "*WARNING: Entering the cafe may subject you to the artistic renderings of The PhotoShopper, a devious individual who likes nothing more than splashing innocent faces all over strange and funny photos.*"


I so haven't had enough coffee yet


----------



## Michael Crane

David McAfee said:


> I dunno. Crane's been acting up a lot more than you or I have these last few days. Maybe the Cafe should come with a warning about _him._
> 
> "WARNING: Entering the cafe may subject you to the artistic renderings of The PhotoShopper, a devious individual who likes nothing more than splashing innocent faces all over strange and funny photos."


_Innocent_?? We're writers! None of us are innocent by any means...


----------



## telracs

Michael Crane said:


> _Innocent_?? We're writers! None of us are innocent by any means...


Remember, there's a difference between _innocent_ and _not guilty_


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Michael Crane said:


>


GOOD! At least I get to smack those two around.


----------



## bluefrog

Victorine said:


> My photo is on my website... or if I'm facebook friends with you there's plenty there... some of them you don't even have to photoshop, they're funny all on their own. Ha ha ha ha!


You know you've just opened yourself up to all kinds of silliness, right?


----------



## Victorine

bluefrog said:


> You know you've just opened yourself up to all kinds of silliness, right?


Ha ha ha ha ha!

Looks just like my great-great grandmother.  

Vicki


----------



## Victorine

And this one... needs no caption.

Vicki


----------



## Michael Crane

You have a twisted sense of humor... I like it.


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Michael Crane

Taras!!


----------



## Victorine

Ha ha ha, Chucky... that's good.

Here you go...


----------



## Travis haselton

Michael Crane said:


>


That means nightmares for a month to me. lol


----------



## bluefrog

Michael Crane said:


> Taras!!


  Not quite how I pictured him...


----------



## Michael Crane

Victorine said:


> Ha ha ha, Chucky... that's good.
> 
> Here you go...


I like it.


----------



## bluefrog

I just want to make sure that Michael and Victorine really feel part of this thread.


----------



## traceya

The Chucky clip reminded me of a boss I had years ago who was, seriously, a dead ringer for that disgusting little doll at about the same time the movie came out.... needless to say the staff frequently said 'Chucky wanna play' but only ever when his back was turned


----------



## BTackitt

Not wanting to clutter up Spaldings thread anymore...


Half-orc, did you warn your poor brother about this thread? things here might shock him, or worse.


----------



## Kristian &#039;TS Games&#039; Dalglish

*loads up photoshop*

Oh no, I'm just as bad!


----------



## BTackitt

K-Dalglish said:


> *loads up photoshop*
> 
> Oh no, I'm just as bad!


OOOOOOOOO and you have access to pics of Half-orc that the rest of us don't... OMG and you're a movie maker.. Home movies of the orcster & Kermit! OMG.. omg.. laughing so hard right now...


----------



## Kristian &#039;TS Games&#039; Dalglish

He doesn't know, but I do have some very revealing pictures of him and Kermit. Considered blackmail but I just don't know yet.


----------



## Michael Crane

K-Dalglish said:


> *loads up photoshop*
> 
> Oh no, I'm just as bad!


  

Welcome to the madhouse!!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

K-Dalglish said:


> He doesn't know, but I do have some very revealing pictures of him and Kermit. Considered blackmail but I just don't know yet.


Ah wtf, if there was any thread I -didn't- want him to know about...


----------



## Steph H

Then why did you invite him here? (Assuming you did....)


----------



## Kristian &#039;TS Games&#039; Dalglish

Steph H said:


> Then why did you invite him here? (Assuming you did....)


He didn't, I was trolling a thread he made about my book trailer for him, and I just decided to get involved


----------



## BTackitt

we like people with initiative! Join in have fun.... engage in a bit of sibling bashing safely here in this thread...


----------



## traceya

I can only say that I am sooooooo glad my sisters are computer illiterate - there are photos out there that would seriously terrify small children.  What can I say I was born in the 70's and yes I wore the enormous belts in the 80's with requisite enormous hair.  I won't go into any further details as this is a family forum


----------



## terryr

bluefrog said:


> I just want to make sure that Michael and Victorine really feel part of this thread.










You are truly evil. I admire you.


----------



## David McAfee

Michael Crane said:


> Taras!!


You gotta add in the long blond hair for it to be Taras.


----------



## Michael Crane

David McAfee said:


> You gotta add in the long blond hair for it to be Taras.


I know. My Photoshop skills are still pretty amateurish, and unfortunately that faceinthehole website has been making it too easy. Need to get back to basics!


----------



## Victorine

bluefrog said:


> I just want to make sure that Michael and Victorine really feel part of this thread.


Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I nearly fell out of my chair with this one.

Vicki


----------



## Travis haselton

dear god this is funny lol


----------



## BTackitt

Ya know, SOMEBODY's brother said he was firing up his photoshop a couple days ago.. and yet, still nothing... Break out with the good stuff already K.


----------



## Michael Crane

Victorine said:


> Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I nearly fell out of my chair with this one.
> 
> Vicki


I was just happy to see a pic of me that shows me in decent shape for once.


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Victorine

Michael Crane said:


>


Ha ha ha ha! I love this one.

Vicki


----------



## David McAfee

This thread has turned into a PhotoShop Bazaar.


----------



## Imogen Rose

LOL!!  I haven't popped in here for ages... so fun!


----------



## traceya

Michael Crane said:


>


ROFLMAO   

In the continued absence of the Proper Authorities maybe we should invite ole' Judge Judy to come and sort out the madness...... or maybe not - don't want the woman having a nervous breakdown


----------



## Michael Crane

Yeah, I don't think she'd put up with our hi-jinks over here.


----------



## bluefrog

No one has posted here in more than a day. I am not getting my Davids fix. Where are all the crazy folk? Come back to this thread!


----------



## traceya

bluefrog said:


> No one has posted here in more than a day. I am not getting my Davids fix. Where are all the crazy folk? Come back to this thread!


I'm with you bluefrog - I think they all overloaded on Photoshop and are currently having mild nervous breakdowns - oh sorry that's just me


----------



## David McAfee

I'm here. I'm at work, though, so no PhotoShop for moi.


----------



## JL Bryan

traceya said:


> ROFLMAO
> 
> In the continued absence of the Proper Authorities maybe we should invite ole' Judge Judy to come and sort out the madness...... or maybe not - don't want the woman having a nervous breakdown


Possibly the funniest pic in a thread full of them..


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

It's Talk Like a Pirate Day:









Get your pirate name here: http://www.froggynet.com/cgi-bin/pirate.cgi

Buccaneer Silver Leg


----------



## terryr

Arr, Silverleg, me bucko! Soon as I set eyes on yer name, I expected a sight to behold and was not disappointed. Arrrr!


----------



## caracara

Arrrr, will never be able to look at those movies the same way!!


----------



## traceya

But... but I don't wanna be a pirate   

Kidding - cool work Betsy


----------



## Daniel Arenson

traceya said:


> But... but I don't wanna be a pirate


Okay, Jerry.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

traceya said:


> But... but I don't wanna be a pirate
> 
> Kidding - cool work Betsy


No choice, we're all pirates today!

Buccaneer Silver Leg


----------



## terryr

traceya said:


> But... but I don't wanna be a pirate
> 
> Kidding - cool work Betsy


"But...I don't want to be an Elf. I want to be...a DENTIST!"


----------



## traceya

Man I think I'll stick with being a pirate - at least that's kinda cool


----------



## Dawn McCullough White

Terror of the Seas said:


> "But...I don't want to be an Elf. I want to be...a DENTIST!"


Hahahaha!!!!!!!!! Great!!

Dawn


----------



## bluefrog

Apparently my pirate name is Esmerelda the Drunk


----------



## traceya

I wish I had Photoshop skills slightly above that of the average two year old


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Daniel Arenson

Michael Crane said:


>


Wow.

Batman has the same vambraces as Laila (the girl from Flaming Dove; see my sig).

Who knew...


----------



## Guest

T.M. Roy (Terry) said:


> "But...I don't want to be an Elf. I want to be...a DENTIST!"


This is awesome! Bravo! Today for kicks I tried to photoshop a kindle into the statue of liberty's tablet...it didn't work out at all. It would've been great if I could've gotten it.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

foreverjuly said:


> This is awesome! Bravo! Today for kicks I tried to photoshop a kindle into the statue of liberty's tablet...it didn't work out at all. It would've been great if I could've gotten it.


You might have seen my masterpiece of Photoshopping in another thread here. Somebody asked me to convince him to buy a Kindle. Here is how I did it:










Kindle. It's better than a sham-wow.


----------



## Guest

Daniel Arenson said:


> You might have seen my masterpiece of Photoshopping in another thread here. Somebody asked me to convince him to buy a Kindle. Here is how I did it:
> 
> Kindle. It's better than a sham-wow.


Niiiice. The angle she holds the tablet at was getting to me. I'm lost for anything more than a simple cut and paste job. I've got friends who are wizards though and it always astounds me.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

foreverjuly said:


> Niiiice. The angle she holds the tablet at was getting to me. I'm lost for anything more than a simple cut and paste job. I've got friends who are wizards though and it always astounds me.


Crudely done, but the best I can do in 5 minutes....


----------



## traceya

Daniel Arenson said:


> You might have seen my masterpiece of Photoshopping in another thread here. Somebody asked me to convince him to buy a Kindle. Here is how I did it:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Kindle. It's better than a sham-wow.


I totally love the sham-wow guy - He's way more fun than the 'but wait there's more' guy


----------



## 13893

traceya said:


> I totally love the sham-wow guy - He's way more fun than the 'but wait there's more' guy


egads. I want you to write a book and this is the first line!


----------



## traceya

LKRigel said:


> egads. I want you to write a book and this is the first line!


If I included a few KBer's whose name I'm too polite to mention I could always title it - "Madmen and Lunatics We Know and, errr, Love"


----------



## David McAfee

I like Boulter's nickname for this thread.

Who'd have thought such a silly thread would grow to 46 pages?

I guess some of us like being a little goofy from time to time.


----------



## traceya

David McAfee said:


> I guess some of us like being a little goofy from time to time.


What do you mean from time to time? I like being goofy all the time - it's serious that gets me down


----------



## Michael Crane

Life's too goofy to take it seriously.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Daniel Arenson said:


> Kindle. It's better than a sham-wow.


Just pay separate process and handling.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Freaking can't stand that guy.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

*Cancels the Slap Chop I bought for Double D's birthday*


----------



## Daniel Arenson

* Cancels all those ShamWows I ordered delivered to DD's house. *


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Aw man, I just talked myself out of some Shamwows and a slapchop?


----------



## R. M. Reed

By the time I speak the name of this thread, it will change, so I didn't speak it after all.


----------



## Edward C. Patterson

_The love that cannot speak it's name_ might just fall away today for the military. Or was the new title for this thread refrring to the _*Tao teh Ching * _ - _The Path that cannot be named is not the true Path _ - Lao Tzu.

Edward C. Patterson
Uncloseted, like a freakin' Murphy Bed.


----------



## Michael Crane

Half-Orc said:


> Freaking can't stand that guy.


You're not alone:


----------



## Daniel Arenson




----------



## Victorine

Love the new title for this thread.  Great work, D.A.

Soon it will be the Sham-Wow thread.  *snort*

Vicki


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Victorine said:


> Love the new title for this thread. Great work, D.A.
> 
> Soon it will be the Sham-Wow thread. *snort*
> 
> Vicki


I have a feeling that soon we'll be seeing one of the Davids as the ShamWow guy...


----------



## Guest

Michael Crane said:


> You're not alone:


----------



## terryr

foreverjuly said:


> I really wanted to see some sort of altercation at the end of that. It's a good thing I just found this. I don't like Pokemon but this looks hard-core:


WTF? I love the Pokemon movies. (I didn't start out that way, believe me, but having a young niece who, at one time, lived and breathed it, I promised to take her to the first movie. Totally prepared to hate it, but pleasantly surprised and interested afterward.) They always had great messages. This has to be some kind of hoax. It's opposite everything the Pokemon universe stood for. I'm shattered.

ETA: It is a hoax, thank goodness. Whew!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Daniel Arenson said:


>


Just pay separate process and handling.... so I can have T.P. for my


Spoiler



bumhole


.

Are you threatening me? I am the Great Shamholio.


----------



## R. M. Reed

T.M. Roy (Terry) said:


> WTF? I love the Pokemon movies. (I didn't start out that way, believe me, but having a young niece who, at one time, lived and breathed it, I promised to take her to the first movie. Totally prepared to hate it, but pleasantly surprised and interested afterward.) They always had great messages. This has to be some kind of hoax. It's opposite everything the Pokemon universe stood for. I'm shattered.
> 
> ETA: It is a hoax, thank goodness. Whew!


It's not a hoax, it's comedy. I found it very funny.


----------



## traceya

I seriously can't believe there are people who don't like the 'sham-wow' guy.... I mean how seriously enthusiastic does this guy have to get about cleaning before you'll all take him seriously    

He's like a pizza with ham and extra cheese dude


----------



## Chad Winters

traceya said:


> I seriously can't believe there are people who don't like the 'sham-wow' guy.... I mean how seriously enthusiastic does this guy have to get about cleaning before you'll all take him seriously
> 
> He's like a pizza with ham and extra cheese dude


Didn't he get arrested for child molestation or something weird like that?


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> Didn't he get arrested for child molestation or something weird like that?


It was for beating up a


Spoiler



prostitute


 who bit him.

BTW, I'm with David; can't stand that guy.


----------



## traceya

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> Didn't he get arrested for child molestation or something weird like that?





Daniel Arenson said:


> It was for beating up a
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> prostitute
> 
> 
> who bit him.
> 
> BTW, I'm with David; can't stand that guy.


OK - So I didn't know about that weird stuff - I just like the concept of a guy that cleans. If you met my husband you'd totally understand.... glasses, cups, pizza boxes, whatever on the floor - I say can't you clean up after yourself occasionally? His response [Neanderthal] but then what would you do darling?


----------



## Guest

So tell me. This pick on David thing going on around here. 
Can anyone join 
Which side would I be on since my name is David. Is it an elite thing? Should I persecute the half orc only?
Very confusing. someone give me the straight scoop please.


----------



## R. M. Reed

I don't know if Daves count, or if they have to be David. We need a ruling from the ref.


----------



## BTackitt

Pshhh if BrenDAN counts for the Daniel side.. then Dave definately fits for the Davids.


----------



## David McAfee

BTackitt said:


> Pshhh if BrenDAN counts for the Daniel side.. then Dave definately fits for the Davids.


Oh, yeah. Dave is one of ours.

Welcome aboard, dave.


----------



## Brenda Carroll

davethedc said:


> So tell me. This pick on David thing going on around here.
> Can anyone join
> Which side would I be on since my name is David. Is it an elite thing? Should I persecute the half orc only?
> Very confusing. someone give me the straight scoop please.


Here is the straight scoop as seen through eyes of the Dan Tribe. The David Tribe is just a bunch of wanna be losers and they keep succeeding.   Wait! No, I mean the Davids are a bunch of wasabe beings that want to be boozers. Wait, wait, wait... The Davids are just about the biggest bunch of bananas we've ever seen around this jungle. That's the straight of it.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Brendan Carroll said:


> The Davids are just about the biggest bunch of bananas we've ever seen around this jungle. That's the straight of it.


Truer words were never spoken.


----------



## traceya

Glad to see the war's back on - it was all photoshop for a while there


----------



## Michael Crane

I think somebody needs to write a book about the war of the Davids... I'd buy a copy!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Michael Crane said:


> I think somebody needs to write a book about the war of the Davids... I'd buy a copy!


"It was a dark and stormy web site...."


----------



## Brenda Carroll

"... a shot rang out.  Two Davids immediately fell dead of fright..."


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

John Fitch stumbled onto the scene, shouting "Jesus Christ!!!"


----------



## Sean Sweeney

John answered himself. "Yes?"


----------



## telracs

scarlet wanders on and wonders why john is talking to himself.  then realizes he's a red sox fan and a bit touched (redundant, she knows), and wanders off again to watch the action unfold.


----------



## terryr

While John was busy supplying his own questions and answers, a sinister onlooker (not Scarlet, obviously) plotted. "Bwhaa hah hah," the Sinister Onlooker typed in a PM to the Minion, twirling an imaginary mustache. "Bwhaaa, hah hahha hahahahh!"


----------



## telracs

scarlet hears a muffled ping and turns....


----------



## 911jason

...We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news...










*Sesame Street cancels upcoming Dalglish Appearance*

9/26/2010 2:29 PM PDT by TMZ Staff

Sources with direct and specific knowledge of the situation tell TMZ that parents across the country have been protesting an upcoming episode of the children's show that features the noted fantasy author in a very disturbing scene with fan favorite, Elmo.

We're told by a source at the White House that President Obama was threatening to pull funding from PBS if the episode made it to the air.


----------



## Victorine

911jason said:


> ...We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Sesame Street cancels upcoming Dalglish Appearance*
> 
> 9/26/2010 2:29 PM PDT by TMZ Staff
> 
> Sources with direct and specific knowledge of the situation tell TMZ that parents across the country have been protesting an upcoming episode of the children's show that features the noted fantasy author in a very disturbing scene with fan favorite, Elmo.
> 
> We're told by a source at the White House that President Obama was threatening to pull funding from PBS if the episode made it to the air.


Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I'm laughing my head off....

Vicki


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Oh jeez, even I wouldn't let my kid watch that Sesame Street episode.


----------



## Debra L Martin

I was wondering how long it was going to be before we saw David's face on that one...when I saw the story on the news about the episode being pulled from the airing, the first thing I thought of was David....how sad is that? 

Too funny....


----------



## terryr

I though Dalglish looked terrific as Judge Judy. Now I have to change my mind.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Nice rack, Double D.... erm, Double D?


----------



## Brenda Carroll

Deb Martin said:


> I was wondering how long it was going to be before we saw David's face on that one...when I saw the story on the news about the episode being pulled from the airing, the first thing I thought of was David....how sad is that?
> 
> Too funny....


That is very, very... sniff, sniff   ... sad, Miss Deb and not only sad but very, very...scary  , but at the same time it does somehow embody the essence of the human experience in dark humor and the timeless, yet honored, tradition of self-mutilation and self-flagellation endured by the acolytes devoted to the Davids thread who for some unknown, yet mystical reason, seem to take delight in seeing their brave leader dressed as various characterizations of ludicrousnessnesses.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Brendan Carroll said:


> That is very, very... sniff, sniff   ... sad, Miss Deb and not only sad but very, very...scary  , but at the same time it does somehow embody the essence of the human experience in dark humor and the timeless, yet honored, tradition of self-mutilation and self-flagellation endured by the acolytes devoted to the Davids thread who for some unknown, yet mystical reason, seem to take delight in seeing their brave leader dressed as various characterizations of ludicrousnessnesses.


What he said. Or is that "What?" he said.


Betsy


----------



## David McAfee

Man, oh, man. Sometimes I'm glad I'm the "other" David.


----------



## rcanepa

Wow.  I wish I hadn't looked.


----------



## MosesSiregarIII

That is @#$%*&^ hideous.


----------



## traceya

Mine eyes - mine eyes - out d*mn vision from mine eyes


----------



## Debra L Martin

Brendan Carroll said:


> That is very, very... sniff, sniff   ... sad, Miss Deb and not only sad but very, very...scary  , but at the same time it does somehow embody the essence of the human experience in dark humor and the timeless, yet honored, tradition of self-mutilation and self-flagellation endured by the acolytes devoted to the Davids thread who for some unknown, yet mystical reason, seem to take delight in seeing their brave leader dressed as various characterizations of ludicrousnessnesses.


Brendan, you're so awesome....what would we do without your commentary.


----------



## BTackitt

I just went back and read this whole thread from the beginning. I needed the laughter, and I got it in spades. Thanks to all of the wonderful contributers.
(and yeah.. No way would my kids have seen Half-orc with Elmo that way.)


----------



## BTackitt

Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since any of you great picture people has done an update on this thread.. *gasp*


----------



## David McAfee

Wow. 2 weeks? That's... absurd. I wish I was home with my PhotoShop. I'd have a little fun this morning.


----------



## JL Bryan

Oh, no, this thread has come back from the dead...like some creepy David McAfee character...


----------



## R. M. Reed

Please everyone, save the silly pictures/War of the Davids thread! It would save you!


----------



## Victorine

This thread just won't die...

Vicki


----------



## brucesarte

Victorine said:


> This thread just won't die...
> 
> Vicki


...as a newbie here on KB I find this thread a riot!


----------



## Michael Crane

LOL.

I've been slacking, I know.  Writing is so overrated, anyways!   

I'll try to make up for that this week... *evil grin*


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

brucesarte said:


> ...as a newbie here on KB I find this thread a riot!


Yeah, every now and then we drag this out from the dungeon and parade it before the new people to scare them straight, then chain it back up again. Kind of like we do with Ed Patterson.


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> Yeah, every now and then we drag this out from the dungeon and parade it before the new people to scare them straight, then chain it back up again. Kind of like we do with Ed Patterson.


Yeah, but unlike this thread, Ed _likes_ to be chained.


----------



## BTackitt

David McAfee said:


> Yeah, but unlike this thread, Ed _likes_ to be chained.


*rumors abound about Ed's predilection for ostrich feathers also*


----------



## telracs

Good way to resurrect this thread, I will say the magic word....



Spoiler



Zardoz!


----------



## Victorine

Oh no, not THAT magic word!!

*runs and hides*

Vicki


----------



## telracs

Victorine said:


> Oh no, not THAT magic word!!
> 
> *runs and hides*
> 
> Vicki


*evil laugh....*

What you expected


Spoiler



please


?


----------



## David McAfee

Geez, scarlet. Go back and edit that before Betsy sees it. Please? We'll all be hip-deep in Zardoz pics if you don't.


----------



## telracs

You're the one who said it out loud!  I spoilered it!


----------



## David McAfee

Ah, crap!


----------



## BTackitt

David GO spoiler that! HUrry! of course.... there is.. that "other picture" the "B" one... Susan thinks it's actually worse than the


Spoiler



Zardoz


 one.


----------



## traceya

I feel so much better now this thread's been revived.... got my silliness quotient back to normal again
*** breathes sigh of relief ***


----------



## terryr

scarlet said:


> Good way to resurrect this thread, I will say the magic word....
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> Zardoz!


And you chastised ME for using that word the other day! Agghh!


----------



## Debra L Martin

OMG, I can't believe this thread is still going on!  Got my laugh for the day and yes, I remember all those pics - not sure I can make it through another round of them though.


----------



## Andra

Yay!  Someone else bumped this thread back up again.  It's a great dose of silly...
Just don't try to drink anything while you are looking at it or you will be cleaning up messes


----------



## R. M. Reed

What we need to save the silly pictures thread is a silly picture:










I found it on Facebook. It was taken in Hartsville, South Carolina.


----------



## telracs

T.M. Roy (Terry) said:


> And you chastised ME for using that word the other day! Agghh!


True, but it's do as I say, not as I do...


----------



## BTackitt

R. Reed said:


> What we need to save the silly pictures thread is a silly picture:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I found it on Facebook. It was taken in Hartsville, South Carolina.


OMG  That is SOOO FUNNY


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Sean Sweeney

I always knew I had nice legs.


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Daniel Arenson

Michael Crane said:


>


Oh dear lord....


----------



## Victorine

Michael, you are the KING!  Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Vicki


----------



## Michael Crane

Victorine said:


> Michael, you are the KING! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
> 
> Vicki


Thank you. I forgot how much fun this is.


----------



## telracs

Nice to see you back Micheal, the insanity has ebbed in your absence.


----------



## Michael Crane

Thanks! Yeah, I was a bit pre-occupied with my writing lately. But now I have some free time!


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## 911jason

I don't know if it's common knowledge here on KB, but the author of 33 AD was once a teen pop idol...










*David McBieber*


----------



## David McAfee

Michael Crane said:


>


In case anyone is wondering, this didn't work. I'm still bald.


----------



## Daniel Pyle

Michael Crane said:


>


David always ends up in a cowboy hat.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Michael Crane said:


>


----------



## Daniel Pyle




----------



## 911jason

David McAfee said:


> In case anyone is wondering, this didn't work. I'm still bald.


That must have been after the McBieber picture was taken then? Your bangs were bangin!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Daniel, that picture is like, borderline sacrilege. Ed will be here any minute with torches and a pitchfork.


----------



## Daniel Pyle

Half-Orc said:


> Daniel, that picture is like, borderline sacrilege. Ed will be here any minute with torches and a pitchfork.


I do not photoshop with my mind. He who photoshops with his mind has forgotten the face of his father.


----------



## traceya

Michael Crane said:


>


Why do I find this one so totally believable? Although I thought McAfee was trying to take over the world not David D


----------



## David McAfee

traceya said:


> Why do I find this one so totally believable? Although I thought McAfee was trying to take over the world not David D


I'm more subtle.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

traceya said:


> Why do I find this one so totally believable? Although I thought McAfee was trying to take over the world not David D


I have a feeling that Dalglish is taller than Napoleon. I dunno why, but I imagine that he's probably really tall and thin.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Oh David... how could you?


----------



## BTackitt

Thank you oh photo masters! These are the things that make getting through college again, easier.


----------



## JL Bryan

Daniel Pyle said:


> I do not photoshop with my mind. He who photoshops with his mind has forgotten the face of his father.


I photoshop with my PC.

I do not watch


Spoiler



Zardoz


 with my eyes. He who watches


Spoiler



Zardoz


 with his eyes has forgotten the face of his father (and also probably needs to give his eyes a good scrubbing).


----------



## 911jason

Not a single comment on McBieber?! Guess KB has an older demographic than I thought!


----------



## traceya

911jason said:


> *Not a single comment on McBieber?! *Guess KB has an older demographic than I thought!


No we all just wish he'd go away


----------



## David McAfee

911jason said:


> Not a single comment on McBieber?! Guess KB has an older demographic than I thought!


I was ignoring that one.


----------



## Victorine

911jason said:


> Not a single comment on McBieber?! Guess KB has an older demographic than I thought!


It made *me* laugh. 

Vicki


----------



## terryr

I never heard of McBieber... guess I should go and Google that now.


----------



## telracs

Daniel Pyle said:


> I do not photoshop with my mind. He who photoshops with his mind has forgotten the face of his father.





JL Bryan said:


> I photoshop with my PC.
> 
> I do not watch
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> Zardoz
> 
> 
> with my eyes. He who watches
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> Zardoz
> 
> 
> with his eyes has forgotten the face of his father (and also probably needs to give his eyes a good scrubbing).


Okay folks, no posting while toasted!


----------



## Daniel Pyle

T.M. Roy (Terry) said:


> I never heard of McBieber... guess I should go and Google that now.


NO, STOP!!!! In this case, ignorance really is bliss.


----------



## Daniel Pyle

scarlet said:


> Okay folks, no posting while toasted!


So you're saying I'm never allowed to post again?


----------



## terryr

After ensuring his lasting claim to fame would never be James Bond, Mr. Connery turned his attention to merchandising the most unfortunate name beginning and ending with the letter Z. 
http://www.skidome.org/SKItune.htm

Hmm. Think about it. Or not.


Daniel Pyle said:


> NO, STOP!!!! In this case, ignorance really is bliss.


You know, I did, it's too late. I didn't see anything significant enough to bother looking past the first screen-full of Google images or to read beyond the first page of results, so... I'll happily remain clueless. Thanks for trying to save me though!


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## telracs

Daniel Pyle said:


> So you're saying I'm never allowed to post again?


Well, don't go off half-baked.


----------



## Brenda Carroll

scarlet said:


> Well, don't go off half-baked.


I read that as "Well, don't go off half-naked." Yep, losing mind now. Losing it. Gone.


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Michael Crane

Okay, McAfee... ya finally have hair!


----------



## Victorine

Nice tattoos there, McAfee.    Gotta work on those love handles though.

*snicker*

Vicki


----------



## telracs

Brendan Carroll said:


> I read that as "Well, don't go off half-naked." Yep, losing mind now. Losing it. Gone.


I've already told you you're crazy, now you've proven my point.

I have a bad habit of reading 1/2 of one line and then the 2nd 1/2 of the line below. So some thread titles look VERY odd to me.


----------



## traceya

Michael Crane said:


>


Oh Michael - how could you? Messing with the Stones is practically sacrilege


----------



## BTackitt

Michael Crane said:


>


 OMG! HAHHAHAHHAHAH
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHH (deep breath) HAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAH


----------



## Sean Sweeney

traceya said:


> Oh Michael - how could you? Messing with the Stones is practically sacrilege


Trace, we've gone after the Muppets. The Stones are the least of our worries.


----------



## Harry Shannon

YIKES!


----------



## Michael Crane

Well, now that you bring up Muppets...


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Michael Crane said:


> Well, now that you bring up Muppets...


BORK BORK BORK!!


----------



## traceya

Now the Swedish Chef?  Is nothing sacred anymore?  Oh sorry, wrong thread... I thought I was in one that made sense for a minute there.... let the craziness continue


----------



## terryr

It's pretty scary that if McAfee's latest photo was wearing a shirt and had a slightly different shape, it would look eerily like some girl I went to school with back in the 70s.


Michael Crane said:


>


----------



## David McAfee

Michael Crane said:


> Okay, McAfee... ya finally have hair!


Woohoo! Hair!


----------



## bluefrog




----------



## Daniel Arenson




----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

That's just wrong...


----------



## Victorine

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh this thread...

Vicki


----------



## JoeMitchell

bluefrog said:


>


I had this on my wall as a kid, when the show was still airing new episodes. It looked way better back then.


----------



## David McAfee

JoeMitchell said:


> I had this on my wall as a kid, when the show was still airing new episodes. It looked way better back then.


What show is it?


----------



## Anne Victory

Victorine said:


> Nice tattoos there, McAfee.  Gotta work on those love handles though.
> 
> *snicker*
> 
> Vicki


I'm glad I wasn't the only one thinking Axl could use a shirt (in order to save my eyeballs!)


----------



## terryr

David McAfee said:


> What show is it?


Uh, Charlie's Angels? I might not have watched TV for the past eight years, but I still even remember Charlie's Angels. LOL.
And in that one...you look like someone I used to work with. Maybe the hair. Or that discerning expression. Can't decide...never saw coworker in a bathing suit, though, so it isn't that.


----------



## sandypeach

David McAfee said:


> What show is it?


Ah, you youngsters. The "show" was Charlie's Angels starring Farrah Fawcett-Majors (Jill), Jaclyn Smith (Kelly) and Kate Jackson (Sabrina) along with David Doyle (Bosley) the voice of John Forsythe as the eponymous Charlie.


----------



## Chad Winters

bluefrog said:


>


McAfee looks cold....


----------



## traceya

I'm starting to think that FaceinHole and Photoshop have an awful lot to answer for.... I used to really love Charlie's Angels but it'll just never be the same again


----------



## Michael Crane

For too long this thread has gone unoticed...

....until now.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Ack!  This thread is back!


----------



## Michael Crane

Daniel Arenson said:


> Ack! This thread is back!


 

I'm evil like that. BWA-HAW-HAW-HAW!


----------



## telracs

Michael Crane said:


> I'm evil like that. BWA-HAW-HAW-HAW!


thank you for your evilness.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Weeeeeeeee!


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Daniel Arenson

Just so long as nobody brings THAT picture back (you know the one I refer to)... I suppose we're safe.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Michael Crane said:


>


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Always knew McAfee was an extra terrestrial.


----------



## telracs

Daniel Arenson said:


> Just so long as nobody brings THAT picture back (you know the one I refer to)... I suppose we're safe.





Spoiler



ZARDOZ!


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Daniel Pyle

I've been using THAT pictures as my wallpaper for _months_.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Michael Crane said:


>


Oh yeah. That's right. Work it. Uh huh. We know how to Dance.


----------



## BTackitt

Michael Crane said:


>


ROFL

OMG OMG Thank you! That's PERFECT! (man I needed something to make me smile.)


----------



## Michael Crane

BTackitt said:


> ROFL
> 
> OMG OMG Thank you! That's PERFECT! (man I needed something to make me smile.)


Anytime! Glad I could help.


----------



## Jon King

Michael Crane said:


>


That...that will haunt my dreams forever...Christmas is ruined...


----------



## Michael Crane

"Merry Christmas! &%*$$*@ was full!"


----------



## David McAfee

Michael Crane said:


>


1....2....3....4....

I like to move it move it. I like to move it move it.

Heh heh. Can't believe this thread has had over 16,000 hits. Wow.


----------



## Michael Crane

David McAfee said:


> 1....2....3....4....
> 
> I like to move it move it. I like to move it move it.
> 
> Heh heh. Can't believe this thread has had over 16,000 hits. Wow.


I'm just happy I could come up with a nice holiday themed one. 

The thread was gone for too long... thought it'd be nice to bring it back!


----------



## terryr

Nice butt, David D.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

terryr said:


> Nice butt, David D.


I concur!

Oh wait. You're talking about the elf pic.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

"We wants the precious drabbles."


----------



## Michael Crane

Daniel Arenson said:


> "We wants the precious drabbles."


   

Thieves! Thieves!! Dirty... NASTY hobbitsess!!!


----------



## Steph H

Just when you thought it was safe to come back to the Writers' Cafe....


----------



## Victorine

Bwa ha ha ha ha!  I love this thread.  Just makes me smile.

Vicki


----------



## BTackitt

ok.. I finally checked out FaceinHole... I should not have done that in the morning.. it's definately something to spend time at... Sigh...


----------



## Michael Crane

BTackitt said:


> ok.. I finally checked out FaceinHole... I should not have done that in the morning.. it's definately something to spend time at... Sigh...


Yeah... that's a dangerous place, ain't it?


----------



## Andra

I'm glad to see the revival of this thread - I needed some laughter today!


----------



## Michael Crane

Andra said:


> I'm glad to see the revival of this thread - I needed some laughter today!


Glad to hear it!  You know this thread is NEVER dead... it may go away for a while, but it always find its way back--for better or worse!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Michael Crane said:


> You know this thread is NEVER dead... it may go away for a while, but it always find its way back--for better or worse!


Especially when Mike is in a good mood.


----------



## traceya

Return of the Zombie Photoshop/Face in the Hole crazy thread - yippee            
Got a double dose of the giggles, I'm set for a while

Now elves, 1, 2, 3, 4 get those booties on the floor


----------



## Barbiedull

Those darn Christmas presents cost a lotta money.


Spoiler



(Sorry Half-Orc...)


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


----------



## BTackitt

Barbiedull said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> (Sorry Half-Orc...)


OMG that one had me screaming in laughter! My daughter had just walked out of the room, she came running back going what?!?!


----------



## Barbiedull

Oh no, they took my picture, better shave my head or something...












Spoiler



Just kidding...


----------



## Barbiedull

This thread has had me laughing so many times. My apologies to the Davids, but you are very good sports.


----------



## Barbiedull

Picture removed for NOT being a David!


----------



## BTackitt

Barbie you are KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!


----------



## traceya

I forgot the golden rule of this thread - DO NOT READ WHILE DRINKING ANY BEVERAGE


----------



## Daniel Arenson

What the--?  This is supposed to be the thread where we photoshop the DAVIDS!  The DAVIDS, not the DANIELS!

*walks off muttering*


----------



## traceya

Daniel Arenson said:


> What the--? This is supposed to be the thread where we photoshop the DAVIDS! The DAVIDS, not the DANIELS!
> 
> *walks off muttering*


Careful Daniel or you too could end up pole dancing for Xmas


----------



## Barbiedull

Daniel Arenson said:


> What the--? This is supposed to be the thread where we photoshop the DAVIDS! The DAVIDS, not the DANIELS!
> 
> *walks off muttering*


Sorry Daniel...I couldn't resist. Can we have a "photoshop-the-Daniels" thread too?


----------



## terryr

Holey carp. I'm. Textless.


----------



## daringnovelist

Okay, I like the Elves and the Pole-dancing baby half-orc, but those others might as well be the picture that we don't speak of. (shudder)

Camille


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Barbiedull said:


> Those darn Christmas presents cost a lotta money.
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> (Sorry Half-Orc...)


I always knew Dalglish was a midget. This just confirms it.


----------



## Barbiedull

Ok, I get it, no more pictures of hairy bodies! (And only DAVIDS are allowed.)

I'm only doing research for my next book...honest!



Spoiler



It's taking forever to pay off my new car...






















Spoiler



I'm still chafed from that darn pole...


 I look cute.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

I'm... trying to think of something witty to say, but... speechless.


----------



## Barbiedull

Daniel Arenson said:


> I'm... trying to think of something witty to say, but... speechless.


 No picture of you this time Daniel.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Barbiedull said:


> No picture of you this time Daniel.


Huh? Picture? Me? Who shot who in the what not?

Sorry, still a little shocked after seeing your latest creations....


----------



## Barbiedull

Daniel Arenson said:


> Huh? Picture? Me? Who shot who in the what not?
> 
> Sorry, still a little shocked after seeing your latest creations....


Are they different than others in this thread?


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Barbiedull said:


> Are they different than others in this thread?


Nope; everything on this thread is horrifying.


----------



## Barbiedull

Daniel Arenson said:


> Nope; everything on this thread is horrifying.


I thought I was missing a theme or something.


----------



## Michael Crane

Barbiedull said:


> I thought I was missing a theme or something.


Not at all!  Yours are great! Horrifying... but great!


----------



## Barbiedull

swolf said:


> My middle name is David.


hmmm...


----------



## BTackitt

Barbie you are having FAR too much fun doing this...  And I'm having far too much fun looking on .. like some horrifying trainwreck/18wheeler pileup, as long as no one was seriously injured.


----------



## 13893

gahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm trying to get a book done here!


----------



## David McAfee

The thread...is awake.

Bum Bum Buuuuuuuuum.


----------



## bluefrog

Are you sure that none of the Lost Ones smuggled in a worm or two?


----------



## telracs

That's * Ms. * Super Ninny Poopy Pants to you!


----------



## daringnovelist

T.L. Haddix said:


> Did someone mention a Zardoz Cat?? ? ? ?


My orange cat Max is appalled. Although he does think the mustache looks rather dashing. (His own mustaches are quite attractive white whiskers, though.)

It's the red diaper that makes all versions of this picture so ... squicky.

Camille


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

That is sooo animal cruelty.


----------



## Barbiedull

Code:


 ...going to sleep before I open up photoshop...


----------



## Barbiedull

Half-Orc said:


> That is sooo animal cruelty.





Code:


 ...ummm...not so much.













Code:


Goodnight!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

That's worse. Worse I say!


----------



## CraigInOregon

T.L. Haddix said:


> Did someone mention a Zardoz Cat?? ? ? ?
> 
> No.....
> 
> T. L. wouldn't.....
> 
> Would she?
> 
> Oh, yeah. She would.


It's TOONCES! (The cat who could drive a car!)


----------



## David McAfee

scarlet said:


> That's * Ms. * Super Ninny Poopy Pants to you!


Terribly Sorry, Miss Super Ninny Poopy Pants. 



T.L. Haddix said:


>


That is wrong on so many levels. Which of course is why it totally belongs in this thread.


----------



## R. M. Reed

I hope that's Photoshop, and no one did that to a real cat.

And...how can there be a David McAfee book without worms? It's like Crunchy Frog chocolates without the frog.


----------



## Debra L Martin

OMG, I haven't been on the boards lately and this is what I see - what we would do without the DAVIDS thread.  Although frankly, I'm speechless now.  Some of the recent pics are stuff of nightmares.


----------



## LCEvans

That looks just like my cat, except my cat is dead. Hey--wait a minute.


----------



## David McAfee

T.L. Haddix said:


> Chocolate frogs? EWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! *gags* Nope, that's just a hairball.
> 
> Let me just say that when one does a google images search for "Zardoz costume", one had best be prepared for what they find. It's almost as bad as when one google image searches "man boobs". No, nothing's that bad. Nothing. (And I'm sure someone here will get curious and just have to do it now. God help you.)


I'M BLIND!!!!!!!


----------



## Victorine

T.L. Haddix said:


> Chocolate frogs? EWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! *gags* Nope, that's just a hairball.
> 
> Let me just say that when one does a google images search for "Zardoz costume", one had best be prepared for what they find. It's almost as bad as when one google image searches "man boobs". No, nothing's that bad. Nothing. (And I'm sure someone here will get curious and just have to do it now. God help you.)


I'm too chicken to do it!!!! 

Vicki


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> Terribly Sorry, Miss Super Ninny Poopy Pants.


I told you it's MS. and you have use a fun font.

That's it, back under the stairs with you. And no cookies!


----------



## David McAfee

scarlet said:


> I told you it's MS. and you have use a fun font.
> 
> That's it, back under the stairs with you. And no cookies!


From my friend Donnie Light's facebook page:

We don't cook cookies. We bake them. I propse we change the name to bakies. Who wants Christmas bakies?

So, keep your cookies. I'll have a bakie.


----------



## telracs

Okay, then no edibles what so ever!


----------



## 911jason

I made the mistake of going to the Tron premiere... look who else showed up!










As if that wasn't bad enough, Dalglish wasn't about to be outdone...










Apparently Dalglish really enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner... although you all should be thankful you're only seeing this in 2D!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I've seen the future of myself...and it is horrifying!


----------



## Barbiedull

Half-Orc said:


> I've seen the future of myself...and it is horrifying!


How about the past?


----------



## MariaESchneider

Super ninny poopy pants...now, how can I use that curse word in a novel...

Half-orc--that hairdo fits you.  Weirdly, but it fits.


----------



## Michael Crane

BUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## MosesSiregarIII

Dear God!


----------



## Cindy416

Yikes!!!


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Debra L Martin

Oh my my my Mike....seems like you have a little too much time on your hands!


----------



## Michael Crane

Deb Martin said:


> Oh my my my Mike....seems like you have a little too much time on your hands!


Trust me... I'd be doing this every day if that were the case.


----------



## Victorine

I love it how McAfee always ends up as the girl.

*Snicker*

Vicki


----------



## Michael Crane

Victorine said:


> I love it how McAfee always ends up as the girl.
> 
> *Snicker*
> 
> Vicki


Well.. that's because he's always disappointed if he winds up in a picture without any hair.


----------



## Michael Crane




----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## JoeMitchell

Yikes!  Its back!  Why do they both look so comfortable in drag, happy even?


----------



## Michael Crane

Hahahaha!!  Nice, Barbiedull!


----------



## Barbiedull

Don't hate them because they're beautiful....


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull

Last one today...


----------



## Victorine

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

Barbiedull, you totally cracked me up.  

Vicki


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

I nabbed Angelina Jolie? Rock on.


----------



## Barbiedull

Half-Orc said:


> I nabbed Angelina Jolie? Rock on.


AND Brad Pitt


----------



## David McAfee

Victorine said:


> I love it how McAfee always ends up as the girl.
> 
> *Snicker*
> 
> Vicki


----------



## bluefrog

Half-Orc said:


> I nabbed Angelina Jolie? Rock on.


Kermit is crushed.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Barbiedull said:


> Last one today...


I don't know why, but DD as JA.... wowsa.


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Kristen Painter

This thread is hazardous to my health, as in carbonated beverages snorted through one's nose are highly unpleasant.


----------



## BTackitt

I know never to be eating or drinking when opening this thread.. it's just never a good idea to be ingesting anything while reading these in-jest posts.


----------



## Guest

Barbiedull is *talented*. How did she make his face that pale?


----------



## Barbiedull

foreverjuly said:


> Barbiedull is *talented*. How did she make his face that pale?


Half-Orc? He's very photogenic!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

No, I'm just really that pale.


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## BTackitt

And Dalglish takes one on the chin! is he down and out?


----------



## Daniel Arenson

Barbiedull said:


>


McHagrid.


----------



## terryr

Barbiedull said:


>


I want that one for the cover of the new series I've started, titled _The Half Faeries_! (It's about faery-leprechaun twin sisters!)


----------



## Barbiedull

BTackitt said:


> And Dalglish takes one on the chin! is he down and out?


 Never! He lives to fight another day.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Shaking my head, yet nodding, too.


----------



## JoeMitchell

Barbiedull said:


>


Dashing kitty!


----------



## Michael Crane

terryr said:


> I want that one for the cover of the new series I've started, titled _The Half Faeries_! (It's about faery-leprechaun twin sisters!)


I'll buy it!!


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## David McAfee

Barbiedull said:


>


My favorite one yet.


----------



## telracs

You jumping on the Scarlet's had too much chocolate bandwagon?

Trust me, once I thaw out from the 20 degree weather, evil scarlet should return.  

mwah-ha-ha-ha....


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Victorine

Barbiedull said:


>


I'm printing this one out and it's getting framed. 

Vicki


----------



## David McAfee

Victorine said:


> I'm printing this one out and it's getting framed.
> 
> Vicki


I might use it as a book cover.


----------



## Cindy416

David McAfee said:


> I might use it as a book cover.


Are you writing a new book about a cross-dresser? Interesting, to say the least.  Maybe "Saying Goodbye to My Pants."  (Hmmmm. Hope I didn't turn this into an inappropriate thread. Second thought, nah. It's been inappropriately hilarious for a long time!


----------



## David McAfee

Cindy416 said:


> Are you writing a new book about a cross-dresser? Interesting, to say the least.  Maybe "Saying Goodbye to My Pants."  (Hmmmm. Hope I didn't turn this into an inappropriate thread. Second thought, nah. It's been inappropriately hilarious for a long time!


Maybe I'll call it "Going Commando: Zipper Meets AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"


----------



## Cindy416

David McAfee said:


> Maybe I'll call it "Going Commando: Zipper Meets AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Why does McAfee get to be Saruman?


----------



## telracs

Half-Orc said:


> Why does McAfee get to be Saruman?


because he bribed the barbie?


----------



## Barbiedull

scarlet said:


> because he bribed the barbie?


Not true!


----------



## Michael Crane

Look, McAfee!! Hair!! HAIR!!!!


----------



## Barbiedull

HAIR, HAIR!


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Chad Winters

Barbiedull said:


>


That one was disturbing. I'm feeling conflicted


----------



## Brenda Carroll

Barbiedull said:


>


I stole this one and put it on my facebook page. You peeps are getting good at this. Best one yet! LOL


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Barbiedull said:


>


Just staring....


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Guest

The Alfred E Neuman one is great! It's a good thing no one's doing any photoshopping of me like this or my ego would get to big for the thread.


----------



## telracs

I don't feel messed with, so I think this thread title needs to be changed.


----------



## bluefrog




----------



## TiffanyTurner

I don't know how I've missed this thread, but it's hilarious. Or you guys have way too much time on your hands.


----------



## telracs

bluefrog said:


>


whimper....

And gee, I always thought the man in the moon was cuter.


----------



## traceya

I just read back through this whole thread - LMAO all the way - now the nurses are threatening to take my laptop away, or even worse.... cut back on my meds.  



It was so worth it


----------



## JoeMitchell

Welcome back Tracey!


----------



## David McAfee

scarlet said:


> whimper....
> 
> And gee, I always thought the man in the moon was cuter.


What? I'm not cute? 



traceya said:


> I just read back through this whole thread - LMAO all the way - now the nurses are threatening to take my laptop away, or even worse.... cut back on my meds.
> 
> It was so worth it


Good to see you up and about...ish.  Welcome back.


----------



## BTackitt

traceya said:


> I just read back through this whole thread - LMAO all the way - now the nurses are threatening to take my laptop away, or even worse.... cut back on my meds.
> It was so worth it


Remind them that laughter is the best medicine. They DO want you to get better RIIIIIGHT?


----------



## telracs

Well, if tracey's laughing, you guys can pick on me all you want!


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## crebel

OMG Barbiedull, I am scarred for life.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Barbiedull said:


>


Oligart needs a shave if he's going to have boobs. Just saying.


----------



## Brenda Carroll

traceya said:


> I just read back through this whole thread - LMAO all the way - now the nurses are threatening to take my laptop away, or even worse.... cut back on my meds.
> It was so worth it


Da***! It is good to see your face on here again! Even if it took a picture of Dalglish with hooters.


scarlet said:


> I don't feel messed with, so I think this thread title needs to be changed.


So we would have to have a pic of your sweet face in order to really do real harm! I'm sure the possibilities would be endless. (Insert evil laugh here similar to woodchuck commercial).


----------



## telracs

Brendan Carroll said:


> So we would have to have a pic of your sweet face in order to really do real harm! I'm sure the possibilities would be endless. (Insert evil laugh here similar to woodchuck commercial).


I asked barbiedull what kind of file she'd need as a picture of me. There are a couple of shots of me on the boards, hunt 'em down and have at 'em.


----------



## Daniel Arenson

scarlet said:


> I asked barbiedull what kind of file she'd need as a picture of me. There are a couple of shots of me on the boards, hunt 'em down and have at 'em.


I think I saw one once, but I have no idea how to find it!


----------



## telracs

hey, tell me what you need and I can post a link...


----------



## M.S. Verish

David's got a great figure. Can't say the same for that beard.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Matthew + Stefanie Verish said:


> David's got a great figure. Can't say the same for that beard.


Thanks. I work out. And had surgery.


----------



## Chad Winters

Half-Orc said:


> Thanks. I work out. And had surgery.


'

so...do you miss it?


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## D.A. Boulter

Barbiedull said:


>


I may never eat cereal again.


----------



## BTackitt

Barbiedull said:


>


Ya left out the Hair!... although I suppose the Tam could be covering it up.


----------



## Barbiedull

As requested...with hair!


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## div

I was in the Satruday Night Chat-room last night, mostly just reading, trying to keep up and crebel, scarlet and Daniel were chatting about pictures and photoshop. I had no idea what they were talking about so I searched this morning and found this thread...very funny!!!  Thanks for the laughs guys! Oligart....who does your hair?


----------



## CraigInOregon

A GLEEful pair...


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Sean Sweeney

Barbiedull said:


>


Oh dear God....


----------



## David McAfee

Barbiedull said:


>


Wha...? Bigfoot's love...why that hairy knuckled, two timing B*st*rd!


----------



## Barbiedull

John Fitch V said:


> Oh dear God....


 I was shocked too. Who knew Half-Orc was a SOCIALITE?


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Barbiedull said:


> I was shocked too. Who knew Half-Orc was a SOCIALITE?


They have socialites in Missouri?


----------



## traceya

Someone please tell me the whole newspaper was a fake... I'm begging you


----------



## Barbiedull

traceya said:


> Someone please tell me the whole newspaper was a fake... I'm begging you


I'm not sure about George Bush...http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&sugexp=ldymls&xhr=t&q=weekly+world+news&cp=8&wrapid=tljp1296263638854012&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&ei=4WlDTbqxLY_EgAep3KmNAg&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=5&sqi=2&ved=0CFgQsAQwBA&biw=1263&bih=561

Tracey, I think there _was_ a magazine like that, but it isn't printed any longer. I'm not an expert on that type of magazine, so maybe someone else will know?


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## CraigInOregon

Whose face is that, Barbie?


----------



## 911jason

Scarlet's.


----------



## CraigInOregon

Ahh... I didn't know she had one (publicly posted).


----------



## daringnovelist

Barbiedull said:


> Tracey, I think there _was_ a magazine like that, but it isn't printed any longer. I'm not an expert on that type of magazine, so maybe someone else will know?


Are you guys kidding? You never noticed The Weekly World News at the checkout? It's a classic of the tabloid genre. They're famous for not being filled with celebrities. (As a matter of fact Dubya should be honored because for the longest time no celebrity other than Elvis ever appeared on the cover.) Instead it's aliens and big foot and giant chicken-boys getting elected to the senate as predicted by Nostradamas.

I notice that they seem to have gone over to the celebrity thing on their website -- so if they aren't publishing the print version any more, that's really a shame. (I was looking forward to meeting Elvis' alien baby. Nostradamas promised!)

Camille


----------



## Victorine

Barbiedull said:


>


That's fantastic!! Love the green face and red hair. 

Vicki


----------



## BTackitt

scarlet will surely feel messed with now.


----------



## telracs

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Ahh... I didn't know she had one (publicly posted).


there are a couple actually. i have to find the one where I'm not squinting as much so barbie can play with that one.


----------



## Barbiedull

scarlet said:


> there are a couple actually. i have to find the one where I'm not squinting as much so barbie can play with that one.


 I have the same problem in the sun. I always have to wear sunglasses or I can't see anything.


----------



## Barbiedull

Gimme the CHOCOLATE and no one gets hurt...


----------



## Guest

Barbiedull said:


>


Just like I always imagined!


----------



## Barbiedull

foreverjuly said:


> Just like I always imagined!


 I love that one!


----------



## Barbiedull

Scarlet? Are you pulling Half-Orc's hair again?


----------



## telracs

Barbiedull said:


> Scarlet? Are you pulling Half-Orc's hair again?


HE STARTED IT!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Barbiedull said:


> Scarlet? Are you pulling Half-Orc's hair again?


Well she already pulled McAfee's off... might as well go for Oligart!


----------



## Barbiedull

scarlet said:


> HE STARTED IT!


That's why he's smirking...


----------



## Barbiedull

Scarlet, are you feeling messed with yet? Can you move your hand away from that gun?  (Nice hat...)


----------



## Michael R. Hicks

Oh, God, I'm dying'! LOL!!


----------



## Victorine

Ha ha ha ha!  I love the western.  Great!!

Vicki


----------



## traceya

Barbiedull - cut it out or the nurses will take my laptop away I'm ROFLMAO


----------



## Barbiedull

traceya said:


> Barbiedull - cut it out or the nurses will take my laptop away I'm ROFLMAO


Ok Tracey, no more pictures today! It's great to see that you feel well enough to enjoy them.


----------



## BTackitt

*bump* for the new authors who are a bit outta the loop. go back and read from the beginning sometime, it is eye-opening.


----------



## JL Bryan

BTackitt said:


> *bump* for the new authors who are a bit outta the loop. go back and read from the beginning sometime, it is eye-opening.


Eye-opening, if not downright blinding.



Spoiler



Zardoz.


----------



## Tip Toeing

Eye opening and reassuringly fun.


----------



## traceya

JL Bryan said:


> Eye-opening, if not downright blinding.
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> Zardoz.


Don't even mention it spoilered in case it comes back... we'll just all pretend that never happened ok


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull

Think SPRING!


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Daniel Arenson

Barbiedull said:


> Think SPRING!


That one isn't photoshopped. It's an actual photo from last spring.


----------



## telracs

Barbiedull said:


>


wouldn't waste the chocolate. even if it is just hershey's.


----------



## CraigInOregon

In honor of David D's new photo...


----------



## Eric Zawadzki

I sat down to do a little bit of marketing research. *Marketing* research, I swear! Planned to then work on putting the finishing touches on the book blurb before bed. Easy night, right? But nooooo, I had to get curious about *this* thread.

Now it's way past my bedtime, no book blurb has been edited, and I have to go to sleep with friggin'


Spoiler



Zardoz


 Cat as one of the last images to enter my retinas!

This thread is absolutely brilliantly hilarious, but reading it from start to finish has just about *doubled* the total amount of time I've spent on KB since I registered. So you folks are awesome, but I still hate you, okay?


----------



## Barbiedull

I like the old Orc...


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## BTackitt

Barbiedull said:


>


Well McAfee certainly has enough hair finally.


----------



## MrPLD

WOAH... just super amazingly WOAH... I was wondering what this "Insanely named thread" was doing popping up all over my live-feed list... now I see... drats, what has been seen cannot be unseen... oh my precious eyes :weeping:


----------



## Eric Zawadzki

I blame MrPLD and the Half-Orc himself for reminding me of how rusty my Photoshop skills are.

From 10 Tips for Effective Book Covers: "Hah. That's like trying to water-ski by tying a rope to some ducks. I mean, sure, you might get somewhere, but it's gonna be a looooong cruise."


----------



## MrPLD

I'd be here sharing the love around but at the moment I'm busy revamping the boss's WWW site (yes, Elita  ).


----------



## Barbiedull

Eric Zawadzki said:


> I blame MrPLD and the Half-Orc himself for reminding me of how rusty my Photoshop skills are.
> 
> From 10 Tips for Effective Book Covers: "Hah. That's like trying to water-ski by tying a rope to some ducks. I mean, sure, you might get somewhere, but it's gonna be a looooong cruise."


Orc is having fun!


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Brenda Carroll

Barbiedull said:


>


Quien es mas macho?
David M o David D o Scarlet?


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Eric Zawadzki said:


> I blame MrPLD and the Half-Orc himself for reminding me of how rusty my Photoshop skills are.
> 
> From 10 Tips for Effective Book Covers: "Hah. That's like trying to water-ski by tying a rope to some ducks. I mean, sure, you might get somewhere, but it's gonna be a looooong cruise."


Hahhahahhaha. I love the flames on the side. That means it is going fast!


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull

...great legs!


----------



## MrPLD

I see Barbiedull is getting right into it


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Barbiedull said:


> ...great legs!


I'm scared....


----------



## telracs

Brendan Carroll said:


> Quien es mas macho?
> David M o David D o Scarlet?


No pregunta! Es mio!


----------



## Barbiedull

MrPLD said:


> I see Barbiedull is getting right into it


I definately have too much fun with it.


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## telracs

I'm really unsure about that last one, BD...


----------



## Barbiedull

scarlet said:


> I'm really unsure about that last one, BD...


 ...oops... just celebrating your love for chocolate!


Spoiler



I have 6 kids. Sometimes I wish I'd liked chocolate more.


**Let me put a disclaimer on this. If anyone _ever_ objects to a photo I've done of them,
just let me know and I can make it disappear! They're all in fun when I post them.**

If anyone new wants to "be messed with", I would welcome a new victim!


----------



## telracs

Barbiedull said:


> ...oops... just celebrating your love for chocolate!
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> I have 6 kids. Sometimes I wish I'd liked chocolate more.
> 
> 
> **Let me put a disclaimer on this. If anyone _ever_ objects to a photo I've done of them,
> just let me know and I can make it disappear! They're all in fun when I post them.**
> 
> If anyone new wants to "be messed with", I would welcome a new victim!


no offense taken. if i objected, I'd PM you. It was just an odd image....


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## J H Sked

I'm putting a post-it on my PC that says "Do not open _that forum topic _while swallowing liquid." Best. Ever.


----------



## OliviaD

Barbiedull said:


>


Mmmm, chocolate, my favorite, Scarlet! Can I come over? Love that conehead picture, too. I used to love SNL when they were on there. I guess that ages me.


----------



## BTackitt

OMG this thread has languished in obscurity for over a MONTH? What is wrong with everyone? Everyone to busy to mess with anyone else?


----------



## BTackitt

TL, From your profile page:
Date Registered:  March 22, 2010, 10:24:00 AM 
You have been here a YEAR!!!! 
WOOHOO


----------



## Syria Says... AKA Celia Can Read

Barbiedull said:


> ...great legs!


Oh...my...god... Epic.


----------



## geoffthomas

You know B we need an Easter Egg hunt.
I don't think Harvey did one last year.
But in 2009 we had a wonderful time.

Just sayin......


----------



## Barbiedull

I WUB eat-ther eggs, they make my tummy nummy...


----------



## J H Sked

I should know better than to open this board while drinking liquid by now.. I really should.


----------



## 13500

Barbiedull said:


> I WUB eat-ther eggs, they make my tummy nummy...


Awww...adorable!


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Syria Says... AKA Celia Can Read

Barbiedull said:


>


She's got skillz, y'all!


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## J H Sked

Barbiedull said:


>


Mindbleach!! Mindbleach!!!


----------



## Syria Says... AKA Celia Can Read

Barbiedull said:


>


Cannot be unseen...


----------



## CraigInOregon

Ladies and gentleman... AT&T's new post-T-Mobile-merger MyTouch 4G spokesmodel:


----------



## Chad Winters

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Ladies and gentleman... AT&T's new post-T-Mobile-merger MyTouch 4G spokesmodel:


Ooh that's quite the allegory....

by the way, I think its AT&T-mobile
or ATTT-mobile?


----------



## Barbiedull

SPRING BREAK!
Are you brave enough to click the spoiler?



Spoiler



http://dl.dropbox.com/u/18978580/girlz.JPG


----------



## CraigInOregon

Barbiedull said:


> SPRING BREAK!
> Are you brave enough to click the spoiler?
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> http://dl.dropbox.com/u/18978580/girlz.JPG


You need to post that directly, LOL... and David belongs on the right, in pink...


----------



## Barbiedull

CraigInTwinCities said:


> You need to post that directly, LOL... and David belongs on the right, in pink...


 Aren't they both David?


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Barbiedull said:


> Aren't they both David?


I'm hearing the Forghorn Leghorn theme.... or Pater Gabriel's Sledgehammer.


----------



## CraigInOregon

Barbiedull said:


> Aren't they both David?


Correct... but our new AT&T-mobile spokemodel must be the one in pink, LOL.

The chicken picture is, indeed, brilliant.

And disturbing.


----------



## matt youngmark

This is the best thread on Kindleboards.


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull

By special request...


----------



## CraigInOregon

Apparently, Dagster couldn't lay off the Tagalongs... (Girl Scout Cookie season) LOL ... really let yourself go, David... must be that generous AT&T-mobile retainer!



Barbiedull said:


> By special request...


----------



## Barbiedull

Craig, I hope you don't mind...I helped your spokesmodel with some makeup.


----------



## CraigInOregon

Barbiedull said:


> Craig, I hope you don't mind...I helped your spokesmodel with some makeup.


Nicely done.


----------



## Barbiedull

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Nicely done.


 Thanks.

And I can't forget, my favorite green girl with the red name...


----------



## BTackitt

Barbiedull said:


>


NICE Abwork Twin! Wish mine looked as good. Unfortunately I look nothing like that.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Barbiedull said:


> Aren't they both David?


Seriously deranged....I'll never eat chicken again....


----------



## Eric Zawadzki

I live in Minnesota, and my co-author lives in Hawaii, so let's just say we found this thread kind of inspiring when it came time to do some of our author photos...


----------



## Barbiedull

Are you offering your head to this thread?


----------



## Eric Zawadzki

Barbiedull said:


> Are you offering your head to this thread?


Why not? I'll try anything once.









But I probably won't try *that* again.


----------



## BTackitt

I HAD to go to the very first page of THIS thread and "Like" the thread. I do not care if my family thinks I'm weird.. they already know it.


----------



## Eric Zawadzki

BTackitt said:


> I HAD to go to the very first page of THIS thread and "Like" the thread. I do not care if my family thinks I'm weird.. they already know it.


Oh, WTH, I have, too. I just read this thread for the *second* time, today. Yeah, still full of funny (also, full of


Spoiler



Zardoz


 and


Spoiler



Zardoz cats


).


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Eric Zawadzki said:


> Why not? I'll try anything once.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> But I probably won't try *that* again.


I'm scared.


----------



## traceya

Man I'd forgotten how hilarious this thread is.... LMAO [or that could be the meds?]


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## CraigInOregon

We need a little more Tracya i this thread, I think...

(Ideas brewing... be afraid... be very afraid)


----------



## Eric Zawadzki

Ha ha ha! That's awesome!

I suddenly have the urge to watch Thundercats, for some reason. That or ask my wife to do that thing with the laser pointer so I can chase the little red dot. *smirk*


----------



## Barbiedull

CraigInTwinCities said:


> We need a little more Tracya i this thread, I think...
> 
> (Ideas brewing... be afraid... be very afraid)


 Craig, I found your missing eye...


----------



## CraigInOregon

LOL


----------



## Barbiedull

Have you spent too much time staring at the laser pointer...?


----------



## CraigInOregon

Weirdest thing... Some kid named Arizona stepped through a time portal thingie, handed me this, said something about "Share this. Share this before it's too late!" and then got sucked back through and disappeared...

Here's what I was handed... you be the judge...


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

There's gotta be a real story behind how the heck that thing finds and gets me here in Missouri...

River Shark!!!!!


----------



## CraigInOregon

Half-Orc said:


> There's gotta be a real story behind how the heck that thing finds and gets me here in Missouri...
> 
> River Shark!!!!!


You mean there's not ocean front property in Missouri?

Golly, I knew that real estate agent seemed shady... GilliGAAAAAN!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

For the record, I'm scarred for life... Craig as Gollum? I can't watch LOTR any longer.


----------



## David McAfee

Oh, boy! It's back! I need a new thread title, though...


----------



## CraigInOregon

Sean Sweeney said:


> For the record, I'm scarred for life... Craig as Gollum? I can't watch LOTR any longer.


Actually that was Eric as Golem.

I was the muscle-bound newborn.


----------



## Syria Says... AKA Celia Can Read

There are no words.

Or there aren't enough. 

Either way...


----------



## telracs

pout....  my name's off the thread!

and don't mess with Cats!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Actually that was Eric as Golem.
> 
> I was the muscle-bound newborn.


Oh... I couldn't tell the difference.


----------



## Rex Jameson

Reposting my April Fool's book cover for Dalglish because it just feels right.










Cover photo courtesy of Daniel Arenson


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Sweet, forbidden, muppetty love....

I'm stealing that tag line for later.


----------



## traceya

Had to come and get my fix - wasn't game to read this thread too much while still in the hospital in case they transferred me to the psych ward


----------



## CraigInOregon

Welcome back, Tracey A!

Wanted to reminisce about old times and found this in the archives... I love old 80s-era SNL:


----------



## traceya

Cool Craig - I love it.  I do miss old SNL - it's just not the same any more


----------



## CraigInOregon

Yeah, the Tracey Alley-Victorine Lieske cast was the best...


----------



## Alisha

The cost of a shine! Love it! I want that book!


----------



## CraigInOregon

> I couldn't think of a title for this thread, so how about *ZPFTPLQUITAKI*? - NSFW!


Umm.... I speak Naavi... and that's the most dirty, profane thing I've ever heard uttered on these forums, Mr. McAfee. For shame!


----------



## Chad Winters

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Re: I couldn't think of a title for this thread, so how about ZPFTPLQUITAKI? - NSFW!


is that like Mxyzptlk?


----------



## daringnovelist

Sean Sweeney said:


> For the record, I'm scarred for life... Craig as Gollum? I can't watch LOTR any longer.


Honestly? You've read this whole thread and THAT'S the picture that scarred you for life?


----------



## Chad Winters

daringnovelist said:


> Honestly? You've read this whole thread and THAT'S the picture that scarred you for life?


Apparently he totally missed the "Z"


----------



## traceya

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> Apparently he totally missed the "Z"


Ssshhh - the slightest hint could bring that back


----------



## Sean Sweeney

rexjameson said:


> Reposting my April Fool's book cover for Dalglish because it just feels right.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Cover photo courtesy of Daniel Arenson


And this has forced me to buy Rex's book when it comes out.


----------



## Philip Chen

Philip Chen said:


>


What did I say?


----------



## CraigInOregon

Philip Chen said:


> What did I say?


Many of us have asked that question...


----------



## Barbiedull

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Many of us have asked that question...


----------



## Amyshojai

"Okay, who stole my @#$%^&*I! clothes?!"


jack nohairtheresphynx.com by amyshojai, on Flickr


----------



## BTackitt

Barbie that was almost as frightening as


Spoiler



ZARDOZ


----------



## CraigInOregon

Barbiedull said:


>


Now I know who nabbed my old yearbook.... Dad-gum it!


----------



## CraigInOregon

Our first KB presidential candidate?


----------



## JeanneM

ROF!!  I just discovered the last three pages of this thread and I'm laughing like a fool at almost 4 a.m.  Now I have to go back and start from the beginning.  Curse you! Curse you all!


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Barbiedull said:


>


Another movie, spoiled.


----------



## Rex Jameson

And now, for some failed bumper sticker ideas....


----------



## traceya

rexjameson said:


> And now, for some failed bumper sticker ideas....


Don't tell me they failed.... how is that possible? I want one of each for my car


----------



## BTackitt

HAHAHA! Ohhh Oligart where are you? It's time to print your own Bumper stickers!


----------



## Guest

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Our first KB presidential candidate?


Haha, this made me laugh. I bet she wouldn't strap the dog to the roof of her car though when taking a family vacation.


----------



## Victorine

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Our first KB presidential candidate?


Bwa ha ha ha ha! That's great. Now everyone is going to call me man hands. (Seinfeld reference.) 

Vicki


----------



## CraigInOregon

The shocking truth... finally revealed!


----------



## BTackitt

Ohhh poor poor Camilla! She will be one heartbroken chicken. Craig how could you make this dirty secret public? Now she can never show her face in the henhouse again!


----------



## CraigInOregon

BTackitt said:


> Ohhh poor poor Camilla! She will be one heartbroken chicken. Craig how could you make this dirty secret public? Now she can never show her face in the henhouse again!


And what of poor Heather? The spouses are always the most damaged victims...


----------



## CraigInOregon

I wonder where BarbieDull has been lately...


----------



## Eric Zawadzki

JeanneM said:


> ROF!! I just discovered the last three pages of this thread and I'm laughing like a fool at almost 4 a.m. Now I have to go back and start from the beginning. Curse you! Curse you all!


I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. If you're reading this thread, you'll receive ten times your recommended lifetime exposure to


Spoiler



Zardoz


, and probably twenty times your recommended lifetime exposure to


Spoiler



half-orc/Muppet love


 and


Spoiler



all the horrific offspring that entails


.

It's too late for the rest of us, so it's just about time for you!


----------



## CraigInOregon

CraigInTwinCities said:


> The shocking truth... finally revealed!


You know, I didn't notice this at first, but you just have to wonder what's going on with that extended arm under that box of chocolates...  ROFL


----------



## Ryne Billings

CraigInTwinCities said:


> You know, I didn't notice this at first, but you just have to wonder what's going on with that extended arm under that box of chocolates...  ROFL


Why do you think he's getting the chocolates?


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## CraigInOregon

Barbiedull said:


>


Barbiedull lives!


----------



## Barbiedull

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Barbiedull lives!


 ...and breathes! Craig, I missed my partner in crime!


----------



## JeanneM

Eric Zawadzki said:


> I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. If you're reading this thread, you'll receive ten times your recommended lifetime exposure to
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> Zardoz
> 
> 
> , and probably twenty times your recommended lifetime exposure to
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> half-orc/Muppet love
> 
> 
> and
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> all the horrific offspring that entails
> 
> 
> .
> 
> It's too late for the rest of us, so it's just about time for you!


LOL...of course, I immediately had to check out


Spoiler



Zardoz


 and I must say it is probably surpassed in Godawfullness only by Plan 9 From Outer Space.


----------



## Rex Jameson

JeanneM said:


> LOL...of course, I immediately had to check out
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> Zardoz
> 
> 
> and I must say it is probably surpassed in Godawfullness only by Plan 9 From Outer Space.


If you have a chance to check out the director commentary for the opening scene, I'd recommend it. He sort of meanders around saying "And we thought this would help the movie make more sense, but it obviously didn't...", "people didn't seem to get it", and "When I see the film now I am astonished at my hubris."

There are other gems too. For instance, this one:

... Boorman says that Charloote Rampling had said she was looking forward "to being raped by Sean Connery, but her scene was all over too soon."

But yeah, it's a terrible film.


----------



## JeanneM

It is hard to tell which is worse, but I think this might be the tipping point in favor of Plan 9: Vampira


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## CraigInOregon

Yay, Barbie!

Your latest one above mine, the Picasso (or whoever) of Msr. Dalglish, is a masterpiece.


----------



## CraigInOregon

Something tells me Barbie knows "Double D" just a little TOO well...


----------



## Barbiedull

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Something tells me Barbie knows "Double D" just a little TOO well...


Not enough to let him borrow my hair!


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Remind me to buy a blonde wig for Halloween.


----------



## Victorine

Just had to bump this thread. It's too much fun.

Vicki


----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Barbiedull




----------



## Victorine

ROTFLOL!!!


----------



## Syria Says... AKA Celia Can Read

Barbiedull said:


>


There are no words for how awesome this is...


----------



## Kristian &#039;TS Games&#039; Dalglish

Half-Orc said:


> Sorry guys, me in a wonder woman costume just ain't gonna happen...


Really? Cause I got this picture when you were in line at Walmart waiting for the blu-ray release of the movie!!!


----------



## Victorine

HAAAA!!!


----------



## Sara Pierce

K-Dalglish said:


> Really? Cause I got this picture when you were in line at Walmart waiting for the blu-ray release of the movie!!!


Oh wow. This scares me. I shall have nightmares for WEEKS.

After I stop laughing, that is.


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Sheesh, you couldn't have at least used the newer costume?


----------



## Kristian &#039;TS Games&#039; Dalglish

Half-Orc said:


> Sheesh, you couldn't have at least used the newer costume?


I kept it for nostalgic reasons, since you never stop talking about how the "old days" of wonder woman were better!


----------



## Steve Vernon




----------



## Jon Olson

Take them both in. Lock them out.


----------



## Victorine

Jon Olson said:


> Take them both in. Lock them out.


Watch it...I heard you dress up as Yoda on the weekends...

Oh, wait, here is the proof...


----------



## BTackitt

K-Dalglish said:


> Really? Cause I got this picture when you were in line at Walmart waiting for the blu-ray release of the movie!!!


Thank you thank you thank you Kristian! That is PERFECTION!!!!!!!!!!!

But.. after seeing this, I do wonder why we called her Wonder Bosoms back in the 70s.


----------



## Chad Winters

That pic does seem less.....bouyant than I remember (or is that flamboyant?)


----------



## BTackitt

I went back and read this thread from the beginning.. I definitely have some favorite posts...



Half-Orc said:


>





Betsy the Quilter said:


> I think it says something that the "weirdest thread on KB" is here in the Writers' Cafe....  Not sure what it says, just sayin'.





Half-Orc said:


> Oh man, what I'd give to have Tarlak say "Oh grooovy" in my books somewhere.





bluefrog said:


> Well, we wouldn't want to disappoint Ed.





terryr said:


> Sorry, David... the only thing in a fishnet that gets me excited is a great big salmon!





Susan in VA said:


> No. All you people with Photoshop skills, just NO. Don't even think about it.





bluefrog said:


> I couldn't let Half-Orc David suffer alone...





> John Fitch V approaches the door. He knocks.
> "Hello?"
> Far behind, the yard-gate locks. John doesn't notice. He knocks again.
> "Hello! I'm here for the muppets. I hear you, uh, you know..."
> Slots in the ground open on either side of the walkway. Hundreds of Chip-O-Deaths come running in, their beady eyes glowing red in the dim twilight. John spins about, full fists-of-fury. Hundreds of Chipmunks go limping away, defeated by the epic Boston Martial Arts. John is bleeding, but seems unworried.
> He knocks a third time.
> "I want in!"
> Fire bursts from two plants on either side. John sidesteps with ease. A speaker pops out from the door. David's voice comes from the other side.
> "Why the heck are you not dead yet?"
> John shrugs.
> "Talent?"
> Ground opens up beneath John, who falls into a pit of spikes. The pit closes.
> John Fitch VI approaches the door.





Jim Bernheimer said:


> Elephants on a plane! The much anticiapted sequel to the cult classic Snakes on a plane. See Samuel L. Jackson face off against some p*ssed off packyderms that have been snuck onboard an airplane to kill the enemy of the evil half-orc.





David McAfee said:


> Chipmunks? Elephants? Jellyfish? Dude, can't you get some _cool_ animals? I've got a pack of genetically mutated Iguanas in my secret lair. They've been there a while because I can't get them to leave. Stupid lizards. Hard to kick 'em out when the smallest one is fifteen feet long and eats cattle.





Half-Orc said:


> See, the thing about those cool animals is that customs takes a long, long look at them. Who the heck is going to suspect death in a chipmunk? Just wait until you meet my squirrel-bombs. Your secret base is going DOWN.





scarlet said:


> Betsy the Quilter said:
> 
> 
> 
> It's a little late to ask for maturity. Maturity left the building some weeks ago.
> Betsy
> 
> 
> 
> Maturity took one look at the building, shook its head, mumbled something about not being paid enough to take on this crowd and WENT HOME to recover.
Click to expand...

And now there's this photo to cap it all.. I laughed soo often today rereading everything... and my son is convinced that to be a Writer's Cafe person you have to be "special"


K-Dalglish said:


> Really? Cause I got this picture when you were in line at Walmart waiting for the blu-ray release of the movie!!!


----------



## Kristian &#039;TS Games&#039; Dalglish

BTackitt said:


> convinced that to be a Writer's Cafe person you have to be "special"


That is for dang sure!


----------



## bluefrog

From Kermit's private collection.


----------



## Chad Winters

Well thats more like i remember those.....bracelets


----------



## David McAfee

Yeah, it's back. Sorry guys, but I needed a laugh, so I started reading through this thread again. Soon I was laughing my a88 off, and it occurred to me that there are new members here that have never had the pleasure of the "Thread that Would Not Die." 

Hehe. Maybe I should call it "The thread that would not be named." (For those of you who are new, just sit back. You'll understand that one sooner or later.)


----------



## telracs

Spoiler



zardoz....


----------



## David McAfee

scarlet said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> zardoz....


Okay. THAT you can leave out.


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> Okay. THAT you can leave out.


no, if i say it, the photos will appear...


----------



## geoffthomas

Well it is about time that we got this going again.  I hope everyone has their photoshop ready to modify pics.


----------



## BTackitt

It's definitely one of the best threads on KB.


----------



## geoffthomas

See now we are all agreed about this......so where are the "creative" posters?


----------



## MJWare

I wounder how many books, maybe even masterpieces, were never written do to time lost on this thread.

Oh well, time well spent as far as I'm concerned!


----------



## David McAfee

scarlet said:


> no, if i say it, the photos will appear...


I have chocolate.....


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

geoffthomas said:


> See now we are all agreed about this......so where are the "creative" posters?


This is such a fun relic of what I'll nostalgically call the "good old days" a mere year ago, back when we were a bunch of crazy self-publishers thinking Amanda Hocking had hit the bigtimes with her 3k sales a month. Who'd have thought it'd reach 66 pages...


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> I have chocolate.....


so do i....


----------



## David McAfee

Half-Orc said:


> This is such a fun relic of what I'll nostalgically call the "good old days" a mere year ago, back when we were a bunch of crazy self-publishers thinking Amanda Hocking had hit the bigtimes with her 3k sales a month. Who'd have thought it'd reach 66 pages...


And that it would have over 35,000 reads?

(For the record, 3K sales a month is more than I get...)


----------



## Betsy the Quilter

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Meatloaf falls on David....
> 
> Betsy


Did someone say Zardoz?


----------



## David McAfee

Nope. No one said Zardoz. It certainly wasn't me. Why, no one has spoken that name in several decades, to the best of my knowledge.*

*It should be noted that my brain leaks, so "the best of my knowledge" is unreliable at best, and a downright fallacy at worst.


----------



## Sean Sweeney

Oh dear God, not again.


----------



## telracs

David McAfee said:


> Nope. No one said Zardoz. It certainly wasn't me. Why, no one has spoken that name in several decades, to the best of my knowledge.*
> 
> *It should be noted that my brain leaks, so "the best of my knowledge" is unreliable at best, and a downright fallacy at worst.


i admit it! i was the evil one!

but at least i spoilered it!


----------



## BTackitt

you can't spoilerz a thread title. oh sweet mary & joseph.


----------



## BJ Whittington

Can anyone chime in on this?


__
Sensitive content, not recommended for those under 18
Show Content


----------



## Al Schneider

Zardoz! LOL. My Saturday BAD movie club showed that (again) a couple of weeks ago. Always good to see Sean Connery in a diaper. I can't believe he left the James Bond franchise to do this waste of celluloid. 

I imagine the call before making Zardoz went like this:
"James? It's me, your agent. Yeah listen, that Bond thing is a one trick pony. We gotta get you out and making artsy films. 30 years from now THAT'S what they'll remember you for... What's that? You'll do it? Great! I got this real mind bending futuristic movie called 'Zardoz'. It's sure to be an Oscar contender and really put you on the map."

After making Zardoz:
"Hello, Mr. Brocolli? It's me, James. Listen you wouldn't still have an opening for that Bond character would you? Who? I never heard of a George Lazenby. Well, how about I go with a smaller studio that wants to do a ripoff of Bond, called Bond, but to keep costs down it's just a remake of Thunderball. You OK with that? Great, I'll take a huge paycut and have it made on a showstring budget... probably call it something like "Never say Never Again" or something, Idunno. Anyhoo, thanks, and if this Lazenby guy doesn't work out would you give me ring? Great, thanks Albert."


----------



## Will Write for Gruel

David McAfee said:


> And that it would have over 35,000 reads?
> 
> (For the record, 3K sales a month is more than I get...)


I suspect that most of us may never sniff 3k sales a month. That's a lot.


----------



## CraigInOregon

Will this thread's resurrection stir up the ghost of Barbiedull?

The Magic 8-Ball says...  "Ask again later..."


----------



## CraigInOregon

They said it couldn't be done...

They said it shouldn't be done...

They said this (and Dan Brown) would destroy the Catholic Church.

I said, "Eh, whatever, I'm not Catholic anyway," and posted THIS.... Leonardo DaVinci's REAL portrait of THE LAST SUPPER:


----------



## JeanneM

Hey...how come Vicki gets to be Jesus?  I wanted to be Jesus.  I bought sandals and everything!  Oh Poo !


----------



## CraigInOregon

JeanneM said:


> Hey...how come Vicki gets to be Jesus? I wanted to be Jesus. I bought sandals and everything! Oh Poo !


Didn't have your pic handy... err, I mean... DaVinci didn't. Yeah! Blame him, the rotter!


----------



## 13500

Love that Vicki is Jesus! Woman power!

The resurgence of this thread was exactly what I needed today.  

Awesome.


----------



## AnneMarie Novark

OMG!!! LOL!!!

Y'all are so going to go to H - E - Double Toothpicks!!!


----------



## Victorine

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!

I've always been told to be (like) Jesus.   

This thread is a classic. We need to resurrect it more often. (Har har.)

Vicki


----------



## Guest

This is the thread that doesn't end
It just goes on and on my friend
Some people STARTING posting not knowing what it was
And they'll continue posting here forever just because
This is the thread that doesn't end
It just goes on and on my friend
Some people STARTING posting not knowing what it was
And they'll continue posting here forever just because
This is the thread that doesn't end
It just goes on and on my friend
Some people STARTING posting not knowing what it was
And they'll continue posting here forever just because
This is the thread that doesn't end
It just goes on and on my friend
Some people STARTING posting not knowing what it was
And they'll continue posting here forever just because
This is the thread that doesn't end
It just goes on and on my friend
Some people STARTING posting not knowing what it was
And they'll continue posting here forever just because
This is the thread that doesn't end............


----------



## BTackitt

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> This is the thread that doesn't end
> It just goes on and on my friend
> Some people STARTING posting not knowing what it was
> And they'll continue posting here forever just because
> This is the thread that doesn't end
> It just goes on and on my friend
> Some people STARTING posting not knowing what it was
> And they'll continue posting here forever just because
> This is the thread that doesn't end
> It just goes on and on my friend
> Some people STARTING posting not knowing what it was
> And they'll continue posting here forever just because
> This is the thread that doesn't end
> It just goes on and on my friend
> Some people STARTING posting not knowing what it was
> And they'll continue posting here forever just because
> This is the thread that doesn't end
> It just goes on and on my friend
> Some people STARTING posting not knowing what it was
> And they'll continue posting here forever just because
> This is the thread that doesn't end............


This (as many of Julie's posts are) is made of WIN!!


----------



## MJWare

BJ Whittington said:


> Can anyone chime in on this?
> 
> 
> __
> Sensitive content, not recommended for those under 18
> Show Content


My wife came in trying to figure out why I couldn't stop giggling; once she saw this photo she shook her head and left the room in disgust. =-)


----------



## traceya

You guys seriously kill me       Although thanks to Julie I've now got that stupid song stuck in my head - much appreciated pal.


----------



## Guest

traceya said:


> You guys seriously kill me     Although thanks to ***** I've now got that stupid song stuck in my head - much appreciated pal.


I'll let you in on a secret. It is actually part of my repertoire of special abilities to ward off people I don't want to deal with at work. When I'm in no mood to deal with a particularly troublesome co-worker I just start humming this when I see them coming. It repels them like OFF! repels insects.

When that doesn't work, I slam down something on my desk and mutter "4 foot hole and a bag of quicklime" and they go the other way.


----------



## BrentNichols

As I let go of any chance of being published by Bards and Sages...


----------



## David McAfee

CraigInTwinCities said:


>


Jesus had good taste in books.


----------



## CraigInOregon

David McAfee said:


> Jesus had good taste in books.


Yeah, who's that third disciple to the right of the Messiah? Talk about going to marketing extremes...


----------



## telracs

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Yeah, who's that third disciple to the right of the Messiah? Talk about going to marketing extremes...


how come i didn't get invited to dinner.


----------



## CraigInOregon

scarlet said:


> how come i didn't get invited to dinner.


I, err... DaVinci didn't have a good likeness of you. Yeah, that's it. Inconsiderate jerk, that Leonardo...


----------



## telracs

CraigInTwinCities said:


> I, err... DaVinci didn't have a good likeness of you. Yeah, that's it. Inconsiderate jerk, that Leonardo...


Leonardo didn't check out the wild west thread, i guess...


----------



## BTackitt

I love this thread first thing in the morning! What a wakeup.


----------



## CraigInOregon

Coming soon... from Victorine E. Lieske, Inc., LLC:


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

What you guys don't know is that's what my hair looks like when I first wake up in the morning.


----------



## Lisa Grace

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Coming soon... from Victorine E. Lieske, Inc., LLC:


With this cover, I'd have to buy the book! 
There's been a time or two (I'm still fairly new) where I've wanted to, well--you know, and to find out you have a whole thread devoted to David et al...priceless.


----------



## CraigInOregon

You should buy Vicki's book anyway.... *waves fingers hypnotically in your direction*


----------



## Sean Sweeney

BJ Whittington said:


> Can anyone chime in on this?


Nice rack, DD.


----------



## CraigInOregon




----------



## geoffthomas

Oh so "pretty in pink"......


Just sayin.....


----------



## BTackitt

Craig, my son walked by and said "Wtf is wrong with her?!" I said it's not a her, it's a her body his face..


----------



## CraigInOregon

BTackitt said:


> Craig, my son walked by and said "Wtf is wrong with her?!" I said it's not a her, it's a her body his face..


--Contributing to the delinquency of minors since... posting that pic. 

And contributing to the delinquency of miners ever since GOLD RUSH hit the airwaves...


----------



## David McAfee

Why is it always me? Can't someone poke fun at Dalglish? Sheesh. If you guys need a starting point, try his general ginger-ness.


----------



## CraigInOregon

David McAfee said:


> Why is it always me? Can't someone poke fun at Dalglish? Sheesh. If you guys need a starting point, try his general ginger-ness.


Your baldish mug was a better fit. 

Face it: you're Hermoinie.

Dalglish would be Harry, at best... or Jenny Weasley.


----------



## CraigInOregon

Happy now, McAfee?


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

That ain't right, Craig. That ain't right...


----------



## Hugh Howey

Best. Thread. Ever.


----------



## geoffthomas

We DO love our Davids.


----------



## Victorine

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Happy now, McAfee?


At least I look better as a boy than Dalglish does as a girl. *Snicker*


----------



## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish

Victorine said:


> At least I look better as a boy than Dalglish does as a girl. *Snicker*


It's the facial hair.


----------



## CraigInOregon

Wait... Ginny Weasley's a girl? 

Serves me right for listening to all those middle school boys say, "You read Harry Potter? Harry Potter's SO *alternative lifestyle terminology*!"

Guess I took them too literally. Brats.


----------



## CraigInOregon

David 'Half-Orc' Dalglish said:


> That ain't right, Craig. That ain't right...


True. You're on the left in that pic.


----------



## David Adams




----------



## CraigInOregon

Friends forever!


----------



## amiblackwelder

David McAfee said:


> I just found this important bulletin on a very dangerous individual:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Apologies for the sloppy format. I had to do this in Word and in a hurry.


----------



## LilianaHart

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Friends forever!


David,

How do you get your hair so shiny and smooth? You should be a Pantene model.


----------



## Ursula_Bauer

Hugh Howey said:


> Best. Thread. Ever.


Yep. Ditto to that.


----------



## Josh St John

After reading through this entire thread, I think I can officially say that my ass has been laughed off.  Any help?


----------



## BTackitt

Pen Grind said:


> After reading through this entire thread, I think I can officially say that my *ss has been laughed off. Any help?


Read it again, you can lose another 20lbs.


----------



## ToniD

This thread is infested with humor.


----------



## David McAfee

CraigInTwinCities said:


> Friends forever!


This is just creepy on so many levels.

Especially the eyes. *shiver* On the other hand, I _do_ look nice with hair...


----------



## Lisa Grace

David McAfee said:


> This is just creepy on so many levels.
> 
> Especially the eyes. *shiver* On the other hand, I _do_ look nice with hair...


Are these your sisters?


----------



## CraigInOregon




----------



## Chad Winters

That's really creepy,.....


----------



## CraigInOregon

Live, from Folsum Prison:


----------



## CraigInOregon




----------



## traceya

I just re-read this whole thread and I've been laughing hysterically - my husband thinks I've gone nuts but you guys are so funny.  I wish I could be half as funny


----------



## Victorine

I think it's time to bump this thread, because, you know, this content is what will make Harvey millions.


----------



## Rachel Schurig

Victorine said:


> I think it's time to bump this thread, because, you know, this content is what will make Harvey millions.


Thank you. I've missed it!


----------



## Victorine

I *knew* I recognized David Adams from somewhere...


----------



## Shayne Parkinson

Wow, David, you did say you'd lost weight, but I had no idea!


----------



## That one girl

What did I just stumble upon? This thread is frightening...ly delicious.


----------



## CraigInOregon

T.L. Haddix said:


> Now, where are our talented photoshop artists?


Speaking for myself... I'm working on my next WIP... 

Although, I must say, T.S. Welti deserves induction....


----------



## JonDavis1

(See's thread, gets curious... checks it out.)
One second later... 
Two seconds later O.O
Five minutes later O.O
                          o
Ten minutes later O.O
                          o
Fifteen minutes later o.o
                              U
Twenty minutes later, Back to work on book, humor restored.
Thanks guys and gals. Appreciated.


----------



## Rachel Schurig

Victorine said:


> I *knew* I recognized David Adams from somewhere...


We need to get a copy of _Wool_ photoshoped into his hands. Hisssss Preccciousss!


----------



## Rachel Schurig

jljarvis said:


>


Bless you!


----------



## Victorine

jljarvis said:


>


Hahahaha! Perfect.


----------



## AmberC

I almost just woke up my baby laughing so hard.


----------



## Lisa Grace

jljarvis said:


>


My _precious!_ Has anybody PM'D Hugh?
He has to see this! 
And David Adams too!
I want this as a poster!


----------



## BTackitt

Oh I'm sooo glad someone bumped this thread recently! I love rereading it!


----------



## David Adams

Victorine said:


> I *knew* I recognized David Adams from somewhere...


THIS IS THE GREATEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE EVER.


----------



## Shelley K

jljarvis said:


>


That's kind of sexy scary. Can it be both? No? No.


----------



## Lisa Grace

David Adams said:


> THIS IS THE GREATEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE EVER.


Look at the pictures further down. Rachel went and added _Wool_ in the rock's place in your (Gollum's) hand.


----------



## David Adams

LisaGraceBooks said:


> Look at the pictures further down. Rachel went and added _Wool_ in the rock's place in your (Gollum's) hand.


I missed it.

You have improved it. It is improved.

My day == made.


----------



## JGray

This thread just gets better and better!


----------



## Victorine

BUMP!


----------



## D.A. Boulter

Victorine said:


> BUMP!


In the night? I always wondered what it was. So, it's David, is it?


----------



## CraigInOregon

Resurrected! The thread that will not die!


----------



## Chad Winters

Oh now that is just wrong. No one messes with 6!


----------



## CraigInOregon

A post to resurrect an old favorite thread...


----------



## BTackitt

Thanks for posting this here as well as on David's FB thread Craig. Now I will spend a few hours in glorious recontemplation of this thread.


----------



## geoffthomas

It appears that everyone temporarily (?) lost interest in this thread.....


----------



## CraigInOregon

geoffthomas said:


> It appears that everyone temporarily (?) lost interest in this thread.....


I think it's more that the folks who contributed most of the content (The "Two Davids," BarbieDull, and some others) don't come 'round much anymore....

I'm part of the generation that overlapped them and the current crowd... And even my generation is starting to post with less frequency...


----------



## Gennita Low

I don't feel I know Dalglish well enough to mess with his face and photoshop it  . Besides, there are so many great works here to try to top! But this long thread has always given me laughs.


----------



## CraigInOregon

Gennita Low said:


> I don't feel I know Dalglish well enough to mess with his face and photoshop it . Besides, there are so many great works here to try to top! But this long thread has always given me laughs.


Well, if there are some good-humored, willing folks, one can always include current members in on the fun this thread represents.  But, I always think it's good to make sure someone's willing and it's not going to offend them or hurt their feelings.

That'd ruin the fun spirit of the thread.


----------



## 68564

So yeah uhhhh I said "I'll just click this one last thread and get back to work..." and this is the thread I picked. So uhhhh yeah like ummm, WHAT? 

Such things I have seen...


----------



## CraigInOregon

VydorScope said:


> So yeah uhhhh I said "I'll just click this one last thread and get back to work..." and this is the thread I picked. So uhhhh yeah like ummm, WHAT?
> 
> Such things I have seen...


That's its appeal.


----------



## David McAfee

I was feeling nostalgic this morning and looked up this thread. man, this was fun. I think I might have wet myself a little rereading it.


----------



## David McAfee

CraigInTwinCities said:


> A post to resurrect an old favorite thread...


I miss my dreadlocks.


----------



## Gennita Low

Soul patch is so 00s  . We need to give you the Boston Birds Nest.


----------



## CraigInOregon

I miss BarbieDull. She was so much more adept with PhotoShop than me...


----------



## David McAfee

CraigInTwinCities said:


> I miss BarbieDull. She was so much more adept with PhotoShop than me...


Where did she go?

I guess I'll just have to graft Dalglish's head onto a porcupine's body and post it myself.


----------



## CraigInOregon

David McAfee said:


> Where did she go?
> 
> I guess I'll just have to graft Dalglish's head onto a porcupine's body and post it myself.


Not sure... but I think it's been over a year since I've heard a peep from her.


----------



## CraigInOregon

People in KB WC need to remember this: at one point, we all had more of a sense of humor about ourselves.


----------



## Sandra K. Williams

CraigInOregon said:


> People in KB WC need to remember this: at one point, we all had more of a sense of humor about ourselves.


If you post a picture of yourself I'll be happy to Photoshop it.


----------



## CraigInOregon

A new contribution!








David McAfee - The Hope of a Generation of Indies!


----------



## CraigInOregon

In celebration of Shark Week:


----------



## Sean Sweeney

OH MY CTHULHU! THIS THREAD AGAIN!

I'm going into hiding.


----------



## CraigInOregon

What could you possible fear more than...

_*...the Kelsey Grammer Nazi?!?!*_


----------

