# Thinking of doing something drastic...



## Guest (Aug 24, 2015)

deleted


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2015)

How much promoting have you done on your first book? Have you tried doing free days and advertising it to get downloads with a link to the second book at the end so readers can easily click on it to buy it if they enjoyed the first?

Look, this is coming from a total newbie. I just published June 15 of this year. I have no clue what I'm doing! But I'd hate for you to give up if you truly love writing. Maybe  it's just the marketing that needs to be tweaked - not your books.


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## NoCat (Aug 5, 2010)

Perhaps instead of taking the step to take them down... go for a re-design instead? Shake things up. New covers, tweak the blurbs, maybe even try something like new titles. 

Or it just might be that this series isn't the one that will take off for you. But that doesn't mean you should quit. Perhaps just work on something fresh, because every book is different and your next might have thousands of readers.


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## Marti talbott (Apr 19, 2011)

Before you give up, try making changes. For example, you cover art is very nice, but it does not hint at what your story is about. Premade cover art doesn't cost that much. Also, you can post your blurbs here for improvement suggestions. When a book doesn't sell - Change everything!


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## 75845 (Jan 1, 1970)

JanaOnWheels said:


> I always told myself that I'd keep going no matter what - that I'd write, and at least finish the third novel in the series, regardless of sales or reviews, until my brain stops functioning. But I'm now starting to wonder about the wisdom of that self made promise.
> At what point do you just throw up your hands and say, "That's it. I'm done." ??


I'm with your original impulse. I will stop writing once my muse finally shuts up and that is unlikely to happen with 230 Whips in her hand. Series might be the best way for indies to sell, but sometimes a series is not working and will writing a third part boost sales when only 8 people read Book Two? OTOH you may wish to avoid a reputation for abandoning a series and you might make more sales from the semi-mythical "don't buy any of the series until it is completed" brigade. It is not an easy call on the final third of the series, but as to the overall question it reminds me of the adage from one big-name writer (whose name evades me) "Give up writing ... if you can." I can't.


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2015)

If you can *HONESTLY* say that you've done *EVERYTHING* possible to try and get your books to sell in those 5 1/2 years, then yeah, you might want to quit.

If not, if you've been relying on excuses - get rid of the excuses and buckle down. *Do what needs to be done.*

~~~

I'm moving from dystopian to paranormal romance. My paranormal romance sales have been lackluster so far, but it's only been a few months. Some of my dystopian readers have followed me over to paranormal romance, but some have not. That's okay. I'm starting over and I'm giving myself time to start over.

But if after 5 1/2 years I wasn't where I wanted to be with my new direction, yeah, I'd quit.

But that's not going to happen to me. I expect to be where I want to be *NO LATER* than December of 2016.


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## CarolynVMurray (Mar 13, 2015)

Perhaps it's time to conduct an experiment. If you're at the end of your rope, what do you have to lose? Choose a genre with a voracious market. Write a series, but standalone (so readers can jump in anywhere) of novellas (so each can be written in two months or less.)

I intend to conduct this experiment myself. With a pen name. It may not be my dream project, but I think I can have fun, I think I can do it well, I think it will earn money, and I think it beats working as a grocery store cashier (not that I'm capable of getting such a job -- I have seven unsuccessful months of job hunting behind me.) But I do really see it as an alternative to just grabbing for any 9-5 job. Then divide up your writing time and spend 20% of it moving your passion project forward.


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

I don't think you can gauge whether a series has potential until at least the third book. Finish the third book, publish it, and see what happens. 

I agree with the idea of redoing your covers and blurbs. There's nothing about the cover of the first book that attracts my attention (sorry). The color is muddy, the image isn't appealing, and I can't tell what genre it is. Your cover is your #1 selling tool, and that cover is doing nothing for you. You've got good reviews, so you wouldn't want to change the title--but maybe add a subtitle that at least hints at what the book is about? 

If these are scifi romance, maybe put an attractive couple on the covers? It may sound like a cliche, but it's a cliche because it works.


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## Carradee (Aug 21, 2010)

Finish book 3. Many readers I know won't even start a series until at least book 3 is out.

Then you can play with promo stuff, to seek more sales, or let it meander along and keep writing, building up a backlist before you fret about marketing.

I personally look at the long view in my writing and building an audience-most of my marketing is stuff that won't pay off for _years_, and I jumped into this knowing that. I'm also several releases behind where I'd intended to be at this point, but I hadn't planned escape and recovery from toxic family into my business scenario, plus I keep forgetting to account for my health issues. (Bright side: I've found a treatment that helps a *lot*.)

Even with my meandering, my sales are ever-so-slowly building, and the amount I earn per month is generally staying steady except for when it bumps up. I have some freebies, and every so often I submit them to free or inexpensive promo sites. But my major promotion plans will have the best payoff if I finish another 2 books in the very least, so I'm focusing on that.

I don't really see the point of quitting. Maybe make something else your primary focus and let the book 3 be your backup project, but if you are driven to write, why not put it out there and let it meander along?


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## PyjamaMan (Jul 22, 2015)

Covers aren't helping you. Also, I just read the first page of the blue one -- it doesn't appear to be paragraphed quite as I'd expect. 

Instead of quitting, ease off writing and start reading regularly in your genre with maybe some books on craft too. This is a tough business, because you're up against everyone in an open market, but that also affords you the resources and access to improve. 

As long as your day job is unimpeded, why quit?


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## Douglas Milewski (Jul 4, 2014)

I can't give you good sales advice, because I don't sell. What I can give you is a little company: you are in the majority. Just one sale of my worst selling novel propels it past 1 million other books in rank. Just one.

I, too, expected more and was wrong. 

Study how people around here sell. Learn the pros and cons of their strategies, then decide on your own. You have enough good reviews to advertise in most book lists, which is excellent. There's a great deal to learn, but you'll learn the basics faster than you can write a novel.


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## UnicornEmily (Jul 2, 2011)

Just a thought, but if you're barely selling any copies, have you tried making the first book permafree?  Maybe pay $5-$10 to run a small promotion when you make it free, like Bknights or Fussy Librarian?

If the second book is a sequel, that might help it to start selling.  Especially if you have a page at the back of the first book with the blurb for the sequel and a link to it.

Have you tried running a LibraryThing giveaway for the second book?  You can give away up to 100 e-book copies, and even if most people won't write a review, you might very well garner a few.

I kind of think that if you're thinking about quitting anyway, what harm can it do?

Whether or not to quit is your decision.  If you don't think you can handle the silence/rejection, why keep trying?  I've had to give up on things I loved doing because they weren't a good use of my time, and I had more important things in my life.  I went through something similar with making crafts to sell a few years ago.  I realized that I was making less than $1 an  hour doing it, and while I really, really enjoyed making things, I didn't love it *enough* to be willing to put in decades of barely-paid work to build a stable business.

If there is something else you want to focus on instead that matters more to you, I suggest you take a long, hard look at your priorities and decide.  If the alternative is working to reach another goal instead, that might be valid.  If the alternative is sitting around feeling depressed, I suggest you keep on doing something positive, even if it doesn't seem to be succeeding.

To speak for myself, I can't handle silence.  But as long as I have at least one reader who loves what I'm writing (and beta-readers count), I keep being motivated to keep writing, even if my books are barely selling.


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## Lisa Blackwood (Feb 1, 2015)

I published my first book back in 2011, so haven't been doing this as long as you, but I do feel your pain. Until the beginning of this year, I could probably count how many books I sold on all my fingers and toes.  

It wasn't until I overhauled my series, new covers/editing etc and started marketing that sales started to pick up. Part of the problem is I'm a slow writer. But part of my plan was to get at least three books out this year (I'll be lucky if I get two published) and start a mailing list.

One piece of advice I read on an indie author blog was that it takes around 5 books to get things off the ground. And even then, it is not a guarantee. YMMV


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## Clare W (Aug 13, 2015)

> I also can't afford to pay someone to format my books, and so I don't have links to the second book at the end of the first book, because I don't know how to do that.


Jana, you can go to the bookshelf of your KDP dashboard. To the right of your book cover and title you can see a blue button that says "View on Amazon". If you hover over that you'll see all the Amazon stores. Click on the US one, and you get something like this in your browser window:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/BO11111111?"Version*=1&*entries*=0
Then, all you need to do is to backspace until the final ? before the "Version" and you have the short link to your book. Click it to make sure it works and it still takes you to the product page of your book.

Next, paste this link into your manuscript. I use Scrivener and there's an "insert link" function. (Obviously, I don't know what program you use for your manuscript.) Then upload the book again (double-checking the link works!)

Hope this helps

Clare


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## KelliWolfe (Oct 14, 2014)

Jana, rather than trying to finish another 300 page novel, which it sounds like you just don't have the motivation for right now, do you think you might be able to try a novella (20k words or so) set in the same universe, perhaps focusing on an incident with one of the side characters or something from the backstory? You could then use that as a permafree to introduce people to your writing and to that universe.


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## Monique (Jul 31, 2010)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Kelli,
> 
> I would definitely be willing to do something like that, except my brain is jammed up. Creative writing feels impossible.


Walk away.

Take a break of indeterminate length. Just don't think or worry about any of it. Watch movies, read books, travel. Live. Your muse might end up missing you as much as you miss her/him. Either way, forcing things isn't helping, so don't.

PS - I don't know what "paragraphing" issue the other poster is talking about.


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## KDKinney (Aug 16, 2015)

For free formatting and to add links in your backmatter, try checking out Pressbooks.com. If you use Wordpress at all, it shouldn't be too hard to use. You can download mobi and epub, pdf files for free. The pfs run watermarks on your pages if you don't pay for the service though. On Mobi and epub they just put a page of advertising at the front you your books. I have uploaded them with no issue to Amazon just fine. I asked D2D if I could send them a epub or pdf since I use this site and they said they could take the epub file. I haven't used them yet so I can't tell you how that went.  

Just a note- The" Look Inside" feature does not always look exactly the way the actual downloaded book will look. With mine, it doesn't have the actual look of the first chapter with the template I used. You can see what the advertising looks like though if that is something that concerns you by looking inside my books at the bottom of my post. 

Pressbooks has free features and I'm technology challenged and figured it out so it might be worth a look for you. 

Another free site I used for banners and some simple Kindle covers is Canva.com. I've heard others talk about that here in the forum. I thought others here would have heard of Pressbooks though.


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## anniejocoby (Aug 11, 2013)

I think that you're giving up before you have really given yourself a chance. I know that you published your novel five years ago and it has sold 100 copies. That's not surprising, as it's VERY difficult to get traction on a single novel. It just is. I had the same problem when I first published - I sold very few copies of my first book, even though it was .99, and I was doing promotions for it. It wasn't until I completed my first series and was able to make my first book a funnel to the others that I got any traction at all. 

I'm sorry to be harsh, but publishing two novels in five years is unlikely to give you any kind of momentum. You really need to publish more often, and you probably need a funnel. That would mean that you make your first book either free (I still recommend that option) or .99. 

On the bright side, I LOVE your covers. They're pretty much awesome! 

Don't give up. Just keep your butt in the chair, your hands on the keyboard, and put out books more often. It's not guaranteed that you'll see success, even with a regular publishing schedule and a funnel. But it certainly will give you more of a chance to get some momentum.


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## Indecisive (Jun 17, 2013)

I hear you on the low budget/discouragement front. Can you set aside a small amount each month to invest in your books/writing? $10 will get you an ad or two an Fiverr. You can get Jutoh, a good ebook formatting program, for something like $40. You can use Canva or Gimp for free to create new covers yourself. I know it's hard to find any money some days, but there are things you can do with no cash outlay, or very little. Also, working with graphics or some other artsy thing can help recharge your creative batteries.

It costs nothing to set one book to permafree, and there are free advertising sites and options. They only cost time and effort. I think that Patty Jansen had some luck with setting up a promotional account on twitter (probably paired with a permafree).



Annie B said:


> Or it just might be that this series isn't the one that will take off for you. But that doesn't mean you should quit. Perhaps just work on something fresh, because every book is different and your next might have thousands of readers.


Lots of authors seem to "take off" on the second series. Even Hugh Howey had a whole series before Wool. But if you're not a fast writer, the road to 6+ books can be very long and disheartening.


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## katrina46 (May 23, 2014)

I see you aren't in KU, so have you tried permafree? Or going into KU? Have you tweaked your keywords lately? A new title might help. There are things you could try and some might have an immediate impact. When one of my books stops selling for a long time I always tweak the keywords. Sometimes it helps.


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## Gina Black (Mar 15, 2011)

I can't see what advantage there would be to taking your books down. You will never sell any copies if they aren't available to buy. Maybe you could take them down from other vendors and try the KU program to see if that will give you some traction?


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## 77071 (May 15, 2014)

Have you tried KU at any point?


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## unkownwriter (Jun 22, 2011)

Jana, I totally get where you are coming from. It's so very hard when you don't have any extra money to do even the cheapest things. You have to work harder at everything and get creative. But, there are places that don't cost where you can list free or discounted books, and BKnights runs from $5 to $15, I think, and many have said he was effective.

Have you thought about doing KU? Or else, making your fist book permafree? I know it sound counter-intuitive, but it will often lead to sales to book two and make up for being free. I plan to do this with my series, once I get the second book out.

I went over your books when reading the other thread, and I had some ideas. I'd like to share them here, if that's okay? Nothing bad, just some tweaks I think would help. I didn't get into the writing itself, just other things that I saw could be improved.


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## unkownwriter (Jun 22, 2011)

> I don't know how to do KU. I tried reading up on it, and while it confused me to my core, I did glean from what I read that it's very difficult to do if you didn't start out with it. Like it's hard to get other sites to stop listing your book(s), and if they don't, amazon won't let you do KU. It seemed a gigantic headache, and I didn't fully understand it anyway, so I clicked out and ran away from it.


It's not really that difficult. You tell everyplace where you uploaded the book to remove it from sale. True, some retailers (like that one in India {Flipcart?}) can be slow, but they will come down.

Give everything about two weeks, then from your Dashboard go to the button that says Enroll and Promote. Put a tick in the box that says to enroll in Select, and do the save and publish thing. Waa la! 

If you feel comfortable, can you list the keywords you used? Someone here may have some ideas about what to change, if anything. Judging by the categories you're in, I'd think they need tweaking. For example, you are in several Action/Adventure cats, and I feel you should be in more SF cats/sub cats.


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> It could be a lack of promoting. I have a zero dollar budget, period. I live far below poverty, on SSI (Social Security benefits), and cannot afford any form of marketing whatsoever.
> 
> I also can't afford to pay someone to format my books, and so I don't have links to the second book at the end of the first book, because I don't know how to do that.
> 
> ...


If you are interested, I'd be willing to offer some private feedback, look over your manuscript, give some suggestions. I'll front for a new pre-made cover because while I like your covers, I don't think your covers screams what your book is about. I'll pay for an ad as well, and I format all my own books so that is no problem if your book needs reformatting.

I read the first page or two of your first novel and want to read more so that is a good sign.  PM me if you are interested.


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## X. Aratare (Feb 5, 2013)

Jana - Hardly an expert here, but here's the thing: no one is SEEING your book in order to download and read it. You could change the cover and blurb all you wanted, but unless they actually SEE it, it won't be bought. Simple enough to say, so what to do about it.

You say you don't have any money for promotion, so here are a couple of paths you can take:

(1) PERMAFREE your first book. If you have your books up on a site such as Google (they always price match for Google), make your price $0 then email KDP and ask them to price match. Getting on the free list will encourage people to try you out.  Considering the great amounts of time you take to write books (and yes, 5 years with 2 books is TOO LONG, but I know you say you have issues that make it difficult for you to write, but then EXPECTATIONS must be adjusted but more on that later), don't wait until book 3 is done, just get people into the series. This will give you a chance to get reader eyes on your books for $0.

(2) WRITE THE NEXT BOOK: Another way to lift all boats so to speak is to get the next book out there. This book will have greater visibility on Amazon and people will be looking for the other books.  Again, FREE option that you are in control of.

OR

(3) ENROLL YOUR BOOKS IN KU. It's easy and again costs $0.  Just delist your books from the other places they are currently (not) selling and then once you confirm that they are down from those sites, go into KDP and select the tick box for KDP Select. Now, I did that for a couple of "dead" books and I'm seeing some reads and making a little money from them so there's some visibility that is gained from just ticking the box, but again, you need to WRITE THE NEXT BOOK.

These are all $0 options that may help get eyeballs on your books.  Without those, it doesn't matter how good the story is, because simply put: no one is seeing it. Lots of books suffer from this and I know you have some unique challenges, but the above may help.


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## MariaESchneider (Aug 1, 2009)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Thank you. I love them, too. I think (read: pretty much know) that these things can be subjective. For everyone who says they hate the cover or that the blurb is bad, I have someone else saying those things are awesome. I pretty much threw myself into a three day panic attack a while back, trying to tweak the blurbs to EVERYONE'S liking. That's an impossible task.
> 
> No, I cannot set aside even $1 for any of this. We barely survive as it is.
> 
> ...


The covers are awesome. They just don't go with the blurbs from what I read. Those covers say hard sci/fi or at the very least science fiction and the blurbs read like a nice adventure with romance thrown in. Probably the blurbs or the covers are fine--but not necessarily together.

KU is just a feature you sign up for under your KDP dash under each book. It is not difficult. You opt in. You make sure you are not selling your books anywhere but Amazon.


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## meh (Apr 18, 2013)

TOS.


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2015)

Sela said:


> If you are interested, I'd be willing to offer some private feedback, look over your manuscript, give some suggestions. I'll front for a new pre-made cover because while I like your covers, I don't think your covers screams what your book is about. I'll pay for an ad as well, and I format all my own books so that is no problem if your book needs reformatting.
> 
> I read the first page or two of your first novel and want to read more so that is a good sign.  PM me if you are interested.


Sela seriously deserves an award for best KBoarder ever.

Jana, I think we're in similar categories and it is TOUGH with these keywords. They're competitive categories, lots and lots of books, and I haven't figured out keywords either. I've read the advice to make them as unique as possible, but then if we go too unique, who's ever going to search for a supernatural thriller in Houston or a sci-fi romance in Baton Rouge or something like that? I've got a unique string of words that will only pull up my series and now I'm thinking &#8230; no one is ever typing that into the search bar. Ever. Sigh &#8230; it's frustrating, I know.

As for the disability and how it's difficult to write some days, I can understand. I have lupus and Sjogren's and have CNS involvement. Fortunately, it's fairly mild at the moment and will hopefully stay that way. My cognitive dysfunction strays more toward the total inability to recall words for simple things &#8230; it's sometimes like the early stages of dementia only I'm in my 30s. My family has gotten so used to it, even my young kids, that they just fill in the blank when I stop talking or point and say, "that thing." And like all things AI related, flares and/or stress make it worse. I do know people with severe CNS involvement that have trouble with conversations because of it.

Even Word allows you to hyperlink, so if you use Word to type up your MS, you can insert links with Word, too. I know the links work with Amazon Kindle because I checked mine &#8230; I don't know about other sites (I'm in KU).


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## Clementine (Jun 12, 2015)

No advice, just warm wishes and support. Having been there, done that, I know that living in poverty can be absolutely draining, and I commend you for having written two books and put yourself out there. That's more than I can say! 

I hope that you're able to rally and accept the help offered here. You seem like a fantastic person, and I really do wish you the best.


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## lisamaliga (Oct 28, 2010)

Jana,
Writing books containing more than 200 pages is a HUGE accomplishment. You've done this twice. I can't begin to tell you how many people tell me that they have a great idea for a book. When I suggest they open up their word processing program and start writing it, that ends the conversation. Or I'll run into them weeks or months later and of course that great idea is still flitting around in their head but they don't have the time to get it out.

An idea for you to consider is writing a nonfiction eBook. These don't have to be anywhere in the vicinity of 200 pages and can be quite a lot shorter. Think about what topics you can write about, whether it's child care, parenting, saving money/couponing, easy and quick meals...you get the drift. Here's an article that might be useful:

http://www.writingforward.com/writing-ideas/ideas-for-writing-creative-nonfiction

I hope this helps. I can empathize with you and your current situation. I sincerely hope that book sales improve and that you can soon publish the last book in your trilogy.


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## Lisa Grace (Jul 3, 2011)

*Hugs*
Read your good reviews and keep writing.


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## kathrynoh (Oct 17, 2012)

Is the stress of writing + trying to sell affecting your health? If it is, then you might be right to quit for a while. I don't believe anyone who is compelled to write actually quits but a break from the stress might help. Don't take your books down though. There is no advantage to removing them and, if you are on a low income, even a few extra bucks here and there is good.

Otherwise, I'd definitely be taking up Sela and other's generous offers. 

Best wishes for your future no matter what you decide.


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## Sarah Scribblez (Dec 26, 2013)

As a general rule I don't start reading a series unless all parts are available, or that I am reasonably sure that the writer will finish the series. There's a large gap between your release dates which woul dput me off, thinking there would be 5 year gaps between subsequent books.

It might just be me, but I wouldn't want to get invested in a story only to be left hanging and never find out how it ends.


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## Andrea Simonne (Aug 30, 2014)

Honestly I think the biggest reason you aren't getting more sales is visibility. I like your covers and your blurbs. I read the beginning of the first book and it caught my interest, plus you have great reviews. There are sites that run promos for free if you do a search for them. Also I would seriously consider trying KU. I have the first book in a series in it and it has definitely helped me find readers. I'm new to all this and only published my first book last year, but what I'm finding is that you need to always being doing something to help your visibility - whether it's running promos, going on social media, Goodreads giveaways (I didn't get sales from this, but I noticed some KU action), LibraryThing giveaways (haven't tried this yet, but it's on my list), blogging, etc. Also for sure work on the third book in the series. I'm a voracious reader (and an impatient one!) and I definitely like to see a series or a back list, so I think that advice from everybody is solid. 

I know all this can seem overwhelming, especially when you're having a bad day or aren't feeling well. What I'll do is make a list and dedicate a small portion of my day (30 minutes or less) and work on one item. It's easier in bite sized chunks. I hope some of this is helpful. I'm still learning it all too and have found the people on this board are amazingly thoughtful with their advice. I sincerely wish you all the best.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

Agree with what the others have said. Don't quit. That third book could be what explodes your sales. You just never know until you do it. Sela made a wonderful offer, and I would like to offer what help I can. My background is in marketing, so I can offer to help guide you in things you can do that won't cost anything. 

I also feel you would benefit from having a website. I am assuming you don't have one because there is no link in your signature, but correct me if I am wrong. If you don't have one, I am pretty good with Wordpress, and I have a reseller account for hosting that would allow me to host a site for you at no cost. I would be happy to set up a site and host it for you. 

It would be a few weeks, as I am working on getting my new book done over the next couple weeks, but I am free to help, after.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

JanaOnWheels said:


> I have a website. It's pretty simple, as I'm not talented enough to do anything spectacular, but I do have one: http://www.janaonwheels.com


Great. There are a number of things we could tweak to make it more effective for you. Let me know if you would like some help on it.


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## juliatheswede (Mar 26, 2014)

Jana,

just read the first pages of Mengliad and you can really write. In a way that's both commercial and literary, and that's not easy to accomplish. Those covers may be pretty, but they are not commercial. Change them immediately, tighten the description of the books and
make the first book permafree. Ppl on this thread have already explained how this can be done. If you need help tightening the blurb, just pm and I'll do it for you. Sometimes another pair of eyes is all you need.


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## delly_xo (Oct 29, 2014)

anniejocoby said:


> I think that you're giving up before you have really given yourself a chance. I know that you published your novel five years ago and it has sold 100 copies. That's not surprising, as it's VERY difficult to get traction on a single novel. It just is. I had the same problem when I first published - I sold very few copies of my first book, even though it was .99, and I was doing promotions for it. It wasn't until I completed my first series and was able to make my first book a funnel to the others that I got any traction at all.
> 
> I'm sorry to be harsh, but publishing two novels in five years is unlikely to give you any kind of momentum. You really need to publish more often, and you probably need a funnel. That would mean that you make your first book either free (I still recommend that option) or .99.
> 
> ...


This. Annie said everything I wanted to say. Keep your head up Jana!


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2015)

Jana, first off, I want to hug you. 

Second, please don't quit. Take a break, re-examine your plan but don't quit. Take the advice and help these kind KBoarders are offering. Be honest with yourself and make changes. I think the #1 thing hurting you is you haven't had a chance to be discovered. Because I love your covers and I definitely see that you can write. So we need to get you seen, friend.

I know what it's like to be poor. I mean DESPERATELY poor, and I know that even a 5 dollar BKNights promo can be impossible when you don't even have enough money to eat. So I would like to offer to pay for a BKnights promo for you. I think it could make a difference in just getting your name on the radar. Whatever you need to do to prepare, whether that's change anything, do it and let me know the date you would want. This is an offer with no expiration. If it takes you a bit to make some changes, no problem. 

If I am willing to invest in you, invest in yourself. Be kind to yourself and know that you CAN do this. The universe isn't plotting against you. Study the threads here. Getting into KU isn't hard. Getting off the platforms isn't difficult but if you need help with that, reach out.

It's never too late to become what you want to be.


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## juliatheswede (Mar 26, 2014)

Okay, here's my take on the description of The Mengliad. Take it or leave it . First of all, it's too long. Remember, people generally have a short attention span. I have trimmed and also added questions in parenthesis where you could definitely make this blurb more compelling/stronger:

The Mengliad (my blurb):

While on her way home from work, Jessica Mitchell passes out in Central Park because of a strange flu bug she's caught. A mysterious, compelling stranger wakes her up, subsequently introducing her to a world she knows nothing about.

Craddock Daniels feels inexplicably drawn to the beautiful redhead from the park. After determining that she's an Accidental Convert - a human changed into one of his kind without knowledge or consent - he becomes intent on helping her, regardless of the personal costs. *(Personal costs? What are these extreme personal costs? It can't be only because of her changing to one of his kind as that sounds pretty benign, while extreme personal costs hint at something terrible.)
*
Initially, Jessica is reluctant to believe what Craddock tells her *(what the heck is he telling her? You need to tell us that IN THE BLURB.)* but after the unsettling reality sinks in, she accepts that she has no choice but to follow him and his friends. Changes are taking place, and she is now in danger because of them. *(Ending could be WAY more dramatic.)*


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## Kylo Ren (Mar 29, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> ...like pulling my novels and just calling it quits.
> 
> I never had unrealistic expectations; I figured I'd only sell a few books a month, maybe a few weekly if I was really lucky. I never expected instant fame or even moderate success. But I was kinda hoping for more than this.
> 
> ...


Before you totally call it quits, I think you should try one last thing. And this is kind of a hail Mary, maybe it's not worth the effort kind of thing. But it's an "if I were you" kind of deal.

Pull your books. Do a total rebrand.

Get new covers, something splashy that are visually appealing. Your covers are artistically interesting, but neither really attract me to your books.

Write new product descriptions. Follow Elhawk's guidelines for doing so. Couldn't hurt.

And the final and most important thing, in m opinion, and this is why you would need to pull your books I think (not sure if you can do this without totally pulling them):

*Title your books something else*. Neither of the titles generate any kind of interest to me personally. In fact, just the opposite. When I see that first title, I have to actually look at the word, sound it out, to even know what it says. Why? Because it's not a common word I already know. Before I've even read your blurb, I've already passed on by because that title makes me not even want to spend the effort. *I would seriously consider doing this before you quit.*

And if you do this, you can just put something inside that says, "this book was formerly published under this title."

I'm not saying any of this will make your sell better, but these are my thoughts as to what might be pushing people away. *Take it for what it's worth.*


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## EC Sheedy (Feb 24, 2011)

I bought, read and happily reviewed MENGLIAD. You can write, Jana.   I really, really hope you don't quit--but there's nothing wrong with taking a break from the whole self-publishing world for a time--perhaps it will reinvigorate you!

There has been so much good advice and support offered in this thread. There are truly some talented and wonderful people hanging out in this cafe. And from what I've read, you are one of them. Hang in there!


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## Liz French (Apr 13, 2014)

Jana, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. One of the great things about this place is the variety of opinion, but that can also be a curse. You mentioned before that you got really stressed over previous blurb attempts. If I was you I would take Sela up on her offer. Stick to her like glue, she has offered you a huge lifeline and she knows what she's talking about. Drown out the rest of the noise for a while, then when you're ready, break down the advice you need and deal with it one at a time. It's really easy to get overwhelmed, which can stop you from moving forward.

Deep breath, and good luck!


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## 77071 (May 15, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Kylo,
> 
> I can't get new covers. As I've said earlier in this thread, I'm below-poverty poor and barely surviving. 'Splashy' covers just aren't in the budget.
> 
> ...


I'm a bit turned off by the title, too. I'm not the target audience, I suspect, so I didn't say anything.

But it reminds me of the word "*********," which is a retro and now somewhat offensive term for Downs Syndrome. So it's a bit of a turn off for me, as one of my family members has Downs.

Whether it would hit anyone else that way, I can't say. I'm sure the title makes sense within the context of the story once you've read it, though.


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## Lunachick (Jan 2, 2015)

Hi Jana, I'm sorry you're having a tough time {hugs}

The only thing I can think of that hasn't been mentioned is putting it in a box set. I've seen threads on here organising them, and some of them don't ask for a financial contribution.


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## Liz French (Apr 13, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Thank you, Liz. Sela and I have been PMing back and forth!


This makes me happy


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## Kylo Ren (Mar 29, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Kylo,
> 
> I can't get new covers. As I've said earlier in this thread, I'm below-poverty poor and barely surviving. 'Splashy' covers just aren't in the budget.
> 
> ...


Well, I understand being poor. Have you tried Kickstarter? I did that for my first book. It's a thought anyway.

Also, I didn't say your titles were "bad." I said they didn't attract me to your book. If you think that means they're bad, sorry. Not what I said. And just because no one ever told you something before, doesn't mean it might not be true. I don't know if it's true or not. I'm just telling you how I feel when I look at your book. It might be the best book in the world for all I know. A hundred thousand people might have seen your book on Amazon and thought exactly the same thing I did, but how would you know? They wouldn't tell you. But because some people have told you they liked the title, that's definitely the truth. Right?

Hope you're able to work it out.


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

I second the advice to take Sela up on her offer, stick to her like glue, and ignore everything else for a while.


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## 77071 (May 15, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> HSh,
> 
> I'm so sorry to hear that! It certainly wasn't my intention to offend anyone! The word is made up, and is the name of the humanoid species. I created it by putting the entire alphabet into a word scrambler thingie and seeing what showed up. 'Mengliad' showed up. I Googled it and found that it was not a word or name for anything, so I went with it.


Not offended, just being honest about my impressions. 

BTW, I'd just like to add that you shouldn't feel bad about accepting the offers of help people are giving, even the financial ones.

1) people on this board seem to love to help others succeed! 
2) It's really hard to accept things, especially monetarily. But sometimes it's the kindest thing you can do, for yourself, the giver, and other people in future (because you'll remember it when you're in the position to help someone else, and try to do so).
3) let's see another success story here!!


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## SunshineOnMe (Jan 11, 2014)

Jana, we talked a few times in chat, and I think you are such a neat lady. I want this for you! (((((((((Big hug)))))))))))) I don't want you to give up. Hang in there!


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## ruecole (Jun 13, 2012)

Cherise Kelley said:


> I second the advice to take Sela up on her offer, stick to her like glue, and ignore everything else for a while.


Agreed!

Hang in there, Jana. You're a good writer. Just need to tweak the marketing for your existing books and keep banging away at that third one. 

Hope that helps!

Rue


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## 69959 (May 14, 2013)

Jana,

If you'd like, I'd be happy to make you a cover. (I made all but one of the ones in my signature.) It won't cost my anything beyond my time. Send me a PM if you're interested and we can discuss details. 

Like others have said, your covers are nice, but nice doesn't necessarily sell. My original covers definitely didn't, but once I changed them and had some good promotions, things really took off for me.


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## 69959 (May 14, 2013)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Stacy,
> 
> Thank you so much for the offer! Your covers are gorgeous! But someone else already offered to help me with that. If she finds that she can't, perhaps I could PM you? If that would be okay?


Sure! Just send me a PM anytime.  I'm so glad that everything's looking up already!


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2015)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Thank you, Belle! I very much appreciated your words of encouragement!
> 
> Another kboarder offered to help me with a promotion as well, though not with BKN. I'm going to be really honest here - it makes me incredibly uncomfortable accepting help that costs money. It was hard for me to accept the first offer; accepting yours as well might very well break my brain. But please know that I very much appreciate the offer!


I totally understand, I hope I didn't come off the wrong way. My offer still stands!  I wish you all the luck and good fortune!


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## lotsofwordywordies (Aug 24, 2015)

Hi, I don't normally post here but I wanted to chime in to hopefully help you. I have been self-publishing since early 2014 and here are my observations.

The first thing I can say is that it is very rare to have a first book or a second book that sells much at all. And also that that is a LONG stretch in between publishing books 1 and 2, and readers of series like quick releases. So you should pat yourself on the back for the sales you have gotten and try to think about this whole thing differently. You're such a good writer that people liked your books even with all the odds stacked against the books. Good job!

Second, it's already been said here but you are competing with so many books and you are an indie writer so people are hesitant to try your books right off the bat. I would advise writing a shorter prequel but I know you said you have no creative energy right now. So then I would advise just taking your fist book and making it free or very discounted, maybe 99 cents. Or join KU but I know you said you'll have to get the books out from other places and that can be a pain. But basically new readers, even those who are intrigued by your books, are not likely to spend $2.99 on a book if they don't know the author, don't know the series and see that there are only 2 books in the series that were published far apart. You say that you aren't in any hurry to write book 3 and if this is a trilogy or otherwise a series then you kind of can't blame readers for not wanting to start reading the the series when they don't know when the "end" will be released. 

As far as your actual books are concerned, I looked at them and even though it's not my genre I think you are a talented writer with good plot ideas. You just need to sell your books better and get them in front of an audience and part of that involved what I described above (writing more and/or offering a book for free or in KU). You are one fish in a huge sea of fish and you have to be the fish who is a little bigger, faster, has a stripe or pretty colors, or something to really stand out. I like your concept for coming up with the Mengliad name but since it's so unrecognizable and different, it's hard to remember. After looking at your books and considering what advice to give you, I came here to write this post and all of 10 minutes later I had forgotten the name of your book/series, although I did remember that someone had it sounds like "*********" and that probably isn't the best association to have with a book.

I think if you are really committed to using Mengliad (I do realize that in scifi and fantasy there are all kinds of made-up names so maybe it's an issue of it not being my normal genre as a reader or writer) then just use it for the series and come up with catchier names for each book. The second book's name sounds quite bland to me as well. And the covers are okay to me but they certainly aren't anything that really stand out. I think Mengliad is fine for them to call the humans and I like how you came up with the name but as an entire series and first book title it is just a little too out there. 

I agree with the poster who said to pull your books and do an entire re-vamp of everything, noting that it was originally published as X. But then you will lose your reviews and they are good. So maybe stick with what you have published except change up a lot of things, including covers and series or title names. Once you can get back into feeling creative and writing the third book I really think your sales will take off again. But as with anything else the name of this game is perseverance and dedication and nothing good comes easily. Good luck.


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## Kylo Ren (Mar 29, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> No, no! It's totally fine! I just have weird hangups about accepting monetary help for things.
> 
> lotsofwordywordies,
> 
> ...


I will add one more thing about the title and how it relates to the word _*********_. I never associated it directly with that word, but the first time I ever saw your book on Kboards, it instantly made me think of a book called The Mongoliad, which is a popular historical fiction book.

Not sure if I'm allowed to link to it, but here it is: http://www.amazon.com/Mongoliad-Cycle-Book-ebook/dp/B007S0EF24/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1440462638&sr=8-1

Mongoliad is also a strange word, but I understand it immediately (and so would people who like historical fiction, probably) because it has to do with the Mongols and the Mongolian empire. Now, if I made that association, it's not a stretch to imagine that others might think _*********_ also (since that word is derived from the name of the Mongol people). Just saying. Trust me, it's worth considering.

It's just my opinion, really, but despite what others have said regarding the title, I honestly think it's probably doing your efforts harm. Once again, *take it for what it's worth.*


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2015)

I'm with Jolie.

Reread what she says.

DO NOT WALK AWAY

You have been doing that. It doesn't work.

Your first book has 16 (sixteen) 4.5 - star reviews.
Yet your 2nd book didn't come out until FIVE years later. Readers aren't going to hang around that long.
And now your 3rd book of a trilogy is "in production"

DO NOT WALK AWAY
FINISH that damn third book. Complete and ready to upload NEXT month.

Then throw up new covers as others suggest.

Pray tell, how do you promote something that takes five years from Book 1 to Book 2
You have a problem. But it is fixable.
By hard, no excuse, no TV, no nothing else, but hard hard work. 

Quite making the same mistake by walking away.


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## Atunah (Nov 20, 2008)

Well, I like the title and the cover, so there.  

I am probably target reader for this. But, here is the but. I don't know if its a trilogy, or a series, how long will it go and would I be left hanging if I start now. Plus, I need to keep my budget right now so I am all about KU right now. 

But I just want to give you a big virtual hug. I am just a reader, so I have no marketing ideas.

Hang in there


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## Seneca77 (Aug 17, 2015)

Unfortunately, I have nothing to offer as I've only sold about a hundred books of mine. I just wanted to say to please hang in there and continue to write if at all possible. To me, writing is cathartic and a release. 

I'm brand new to Kboards and am overwhelmed by the amount of support I've seen, just in this thread alone. I've participated in other writer's forums and believe I have found a home here. Just reading through the responses has helped inspire me to get that second (and third) book finished in my series.

Good luck Jana!

- Bob


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## Crystal_ (Aug 13, 2014)

Hey Jana,

I haven't read all the pages, so I apologize if someone covered this. I hope I'm not making too many assumptions.

There are two separate issues here. One is how stressed you are feeling and the other is your low sales. They are connected, somewhat, but you won't do yourself any good by addressing them as one.

There's a lot of defeat in your posts. Have you considered the possibility you have depression? I know you said you are on a limited budget, but there are free clinics where you can get mental health help. A lot of writers and creative people have depression. It totally sucks, but it is something you can overcome.

It also sounds like you are stressed to the point of burn out. I think you should take a break from publishing. Maybe from writing too. This business is very stressful. Trust me. My stress has quadrupled since I started (and I've always been an anxious/stressed out type). I kept trying to talk myself into quitting and getting a "real job" but I couldn't do it, so I gave myself a timeline and a budget. If I don't hit certain sales goals by a certain time, then I have to stop messing around with part time jobs that allow me to write and try that whole career thing. It allowed me a break from constantly wondering if I should keep doing this (well, not a completely break, but I do think it less often now).

A few months away from it might be enough time to reorient you. Take time off and come back swinging, with a solid strategy in place. Or maybe you'll realize you'd rather not be doing this at all. Either way is okay. But right now you need to step away and get some perspective. You're a person of value. You are more than a book or two books or even a mountain of books.


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## MarkTH (Mar 18, 2015)

I feel your pain. My first book I screwed up so badly that it didn't go anywhere. I did everything wrong. I didn't edit it near enough. I didn't format it for an ebook correctly. It didn't sale, at all. So I tried my hand at a different genre, and a different story line. Then something pretty amazing happened. The readers started giving me five stars on the first book. I went back and re-edited it after some of the comments (the readers were very kind, and very forgiving of my mistakes). I even made a little bit of money, four figures, nothing amazing. Then I came here, looked at some strategies, and offered it for free, since it was my first book. At last count, I think it went out to around 20,000 people, and I have 160 people on my mailing list. Second book, while I love the story and the characters, hasn't gone anywhere, even as a freebie.

So, am I bragging. Not my intention. Some people may hit the groove with one book. That's not me, I can't quit my day job driving a truck. What I am saying is, don't give up on yourself. It may not be your first book. It may not be your tenth book. Maybe you need to try a different genre. Maybe you need to get into a writing class. Whatever you do, if you love writing, DON'T GIVE UP! Keep writing. Here's some stats on famous authors and how many times their books were turned down.

http://www.dailywritingtips.com/famous-books-rejected-multiple-times/
Here, with the number of times the book was turned down, are some examples to give you courage next time you receive a rejection letter. (Note: the figures are taken from websites and not directly from the books.)

Auntie Mame, Patrick Dennis (15)
Carrie, Stephen Kng (30)
Chicken Soup for the Soul, Jack Canfeld and Mark Victor Hansen (140)
Diary of Anne Frank (16)
Dr. Seuss books (15)
Dubliners, James Joyce (22)
Dune, Frank Herbert (23)
Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell (3
Harry Potter book one, J. K. Rowling (9)
Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Richard Bach (1
Kon-Tiki, Thor Heyerdahl (20)
M*A*S*H, Richard Hooker (17)
The Peter Principle, Laurence Peter (16)
The Prncess Diaries, Meg Cabot (17)
Watership Down, Richard Adams (26)
A Wrinkle in Time, Madeleine L'Engle, (26)


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

Jana, it sounds to me as if you're feeling pretty helpless. It's no wonder you're thinking of quitting. I'm hearing a lot of "I don't know how to do that" and "I can't afford to do that" from you. And while that may be true, it doesn't help you move forward. 

So what can you do? 
1. Learn. There are tutorials on YouTube for just about everything you need to know. All of us at some point were clueless about all this stuff. We learned.
2. Get help from a family member or friend for things like adding links to your ebooks or getting your books into KDP Select. 
3. Barter for services you can't do yourself. Maybe someone would be willing to help with a cover in exchange for your beta reading a book for them. 
4. Consider traditional publishing. Not for this series, but for future books. If you're really struggling, maybe indie publishing isn't for you. Look into small presses rather than the Big 5. You may not make a lot of money. but you may end up making more than you are now, and getting your book in front of more readers. 

I hope this helps.


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

Seneca77 said:


> I'm brand new to Kboards and am overwhelmed by the amount of support I've seen, just in this thread alone. I've participated in other writer's forums and believe I have found a home here.


Welcome, Seneca!


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

Your blurbs need to punch the reader. 

If they are asking "What in the world is a Mengliad?", the blurb doesn't tell them.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

JanaOnWheels said:


> It could be a lack of promoting. I have a zero dollar budget, period. I live far below poverty, on SSI (Social Security benefits), and cannot afford any form of marketing whatsoever.


I'm in the same boat on budget. I did use ebookhippo and ebookstage and some others for promotion, which are free. I do post links on Facebook and Google Plus which seem useless but I keep doing it.

Mine doesn't sell much either.


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

Two rejections is nothing. My friend Laura had over 400 rejections before she sold. But she kept on writing while she was querying, and sold two series (8 books) within a few months of the first sale. Her debut won the RITA for Best First Book from the Romance Writers of America. Now she's a full-time author. 

We can't all have Laura's tenacity. The thing is, failure and rejection are par for the course in this profession. We fail and we fail and we fail, until finally, we succeed. And even then, it's not over. The climate changes and keywords get stale, so you have to constantly refresh your work. 

I realize you may not have the energy to think about this now. Maybe you need to take a break from writing, a break from thinking about your published books. Don't listen to the depression when it tells you the solution is to take down your books - depression lies. When you've got the energy, focus on getting your third book published. That will help you more than anything else.


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

With Jana's permission, I am posting this here for feedback. I read the preview of her book and blurb and have been thinking of cover ideas that might be more new adult sf / fantasy romance and looked at comparable bestsellers.

I thought that this book was comparable to Jana's, although this is Young Adult, while I think Jana's is more New Adult:

http://www.amazon.com/Under-Different-Stars-Kricket-Series-ebook/dp/B00MJB2ZEW/ref=pd_sim_351_42?ie=UTF8&refRID=1EGQAE2R3A7P28A6RNRQ

I thought that since the heroine has beautiful red hair, that something with a woman with red hair might be a good idea for a cover / set of covers. So I put these together and wanted some feedback:

What do people think? These are just ideas and would probably need some touching up re: fonts and etc.



If these don't fit, what are some other ideas for covers? I think Jana's books are a touch more urban fantasy than science fiction and so something a bit for romantic and fantastical or mysterious might be appropriate.

Any ideas are appreciated.


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## Nathalie Aynie (Nov 24, 2013)

Sela said:


> With Jana's permission, I am posting this here for feedback. I read the preview of her book and blurb and have been thinking of cover ideas that might be more new adult sf / fantasy romance and looked at comparable bestsellers.
> 
> I thought that this book was comparable to Jana's, although this is Young Adult, while I think Jana's is more New Adult:
> 
> ...


Very cool! I'd make her name bigger, and make sure the black portion is the same in both the covers.
As a urban fantasy reader, I'd definitely be more attracted to those covers.
I don't know what kind of fantasy is in the book, but if it could be reflected on the covers with a fantasy or magic element, it might be clearer that it's an urban fantasy?

You're all doing something very nice, go you. Karma +1000!
I wish Jana a lot of luck with her titles.


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## Richardcrasta (Jul 29, 2010)

Hi Jana,

Same problem here ... though I have many more books than you that no one reads ... but I did have a successful phase for a while, one book having sold possibly 35,000 copies in print in 10 countries ... and still hope for something like that to happen again.

So why do I write books when there's a chance no one (or practically no one) will read them? Because I must: I have something to say, something I must get out of my system, and my first and most important reader is: me.

what if i made my books free? (sorry the shift on my darned dell inspiron laptop is not working) i'd have a few more readers, i suppose, but somehow, it goes against my feeling of what's right; to cheapen myself by giving work away free.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

I love the color and overall feel of those covers. I especially like the second one. The first is also very nice, but I feel like we should get a glimpse of what/who she appears to be running from, even if it's just a small portion of someone's body from the back view, or a shadow. I don't know, it seems like there is some element missing, but I can't put my finger on what. It's really, really close, though. 

Nice work.


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## unkownwriter (Jun 22, 2011)

This is going to be a long post, so hold on!

Jana, first I want you to take a deep breath, hold it and release it slowly. Do this a few times, until you fell your stress easing.

Now. I want to tell you that you have achieved something wonderful: you have completed and published two books that are obviously very good, or you wouldn't have the reviews you have. You are in the process of completing the third in a series, which is more than I have done.

And you've done all this while battling serious health issues, with no close family/associates to help you. That is amazing, woman! AMAZING!!!!!!

But, you have friends here, and we want to help you do better, to get those sales. It might go slower for you than someone who can put out a novel every month, or even every six months, but you can get there. Please change your point of view, and come at this from the belief that you _can_ reach your goals. It might take you longer, or be more work, or you might need to get a writing/publishing buddy to help you, BUT IT CAN BE DONE.

If you want to take a little break, set a time limit. A week, two days, a month. But have a day to get back to it, otherwise it's easy to slip into the rounds of "I'll write tomorrow, I'm not feeling it today". Trust me. I know.

Okay, title: I see no issue with Mengliad as a title. You might want to add a tagline, and maybe a subtitle (Book One of the Mengliad, or something), but I wouldn't worry about the word being different. It's SF. It's _supposed_ to be different.

Categories/Keywords: I think this is holding you back. You have a lot of repetition, but that can be worked on. First, I think you need to select two main categories that fit your book better, because I think Action/Adventure isn't right.



> action/adventure:
> Also known as the male equivalent of the romance novel, these books offer intrigue, edge-of-your-seat excitement, and exotic locales with characters who are smart, daring, often heroic, and sometimes evil.


I think you need to have Romance and Science Fiction as your two categories, and use keywords to get into relevant others.

Like:

Romance/New Adult & College: new adult
Romance/Paranormal/Psychics: psychic, telepathy
Science Fiction & Fantasy/Science Fiction/Genetic Engineering: genes (but does this fit the story?)
Science Fiction Characters/Aliens: aliens (again, are they aliens?)
Science Fiction & Fantasy/Romantic: romance, love
Science Fiction & Fantasy/Thriller:	thriller
Mystery, Thriller & Suspense/Suspense/Paranormal/General: paranormal
Mystery, Thriller & Suspense/Suspense/Paranormal/Psychics: psychic, telepathy
Mystery, Thriller & Suspense Settings/Small Towns: small town
Mystery, Thriller & Suspense Settings/Suburban: suburban

Not all of these might fit, especially the Mystery/Thriller & Suspense, but they seem more appropriate than what you have.

So, your current keywords are:

Romance alien paranormal, science fiction alien love fantasy, paranormal romance sci-fi, paranormal romance telepathy, speculative fiction romance, alien hero romance, romantic hero paranormal

Let's see what we can do:

aliens, fantasy, paranormal romance, new adult, genes, telepathic psychic, small town (or uban, depending on where the family's inn is located)

That's a basic set, I'm sure someone will have different or better ones, especially anyone who's read the book/books in full. But it will get you started, after you change the categories.

Blurbs: Here's what I came up with the other day. I know others have given you their takes, and my advice would be to take each one and try it out for a few weeks. Blurbs are easy enough to change out, so you aren't really losing anything by trying different things. Don't try to alter what you've been given, because like you said, you can go crazy trying to fit different things in.

Book #1:



> Jessica Mitchell is going about her usual day, coping with an odd bug she'd picked up somewhere, until she passes out in Central Park on her way home from work. She wakes to find herself being studied by a stranger with a compelling gaze. Reluctantly, Jessica accepts the man's help, and she's introduced to a world she never dreamed existed.
> 
> Craddock Daniels is inexplicably drawn to the redheaded young woman from the start. He learns she has been changed against her will and has become one of his own kind, a humanoid species called the Mengliad. He decides to help Jessica learn to cope with her new condition, despite the personal cost to himself.
> Changes are taking place, and Jessica is in grave danger.
> ...


Book #2:



> Jessica Mitchell is starting to feel like a prisoner. She's living under the firm thumb of the Registry, her new life carefully constructed to follow the organization's endless restrictions and constant scrutiny. The only saving grace is Craddock Daniels, who shares her confinement.
> 
> Craddock wants Jessica to be happy. The two find solace in each other, clinging to the hope of the future they both want. The truth that Daniels tries to hide from Jessica begins to come out, and soon they are on the run, joined by old and new friends. The only way to reclaim their lives is to take on the Mengliad's most powerful members, the Registry.
> 
> ...


Those covers Sela did are wonderful, much more in line with the books. I think the way the background/filter would work great on #2 as well.

Free places to advertise:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/tnVwOoBQtxUq7gepUO9jrZA/htmlview?pli=1

Anyway, that's what I've come up with. Hope it helps.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

> "There are a lot of beliefs out there. Some people think we got here by spacecraft. Some think we evolved, like Humans, but in a slightly different direction. Some think we were created by God, after Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden. However we came to be, the truth of the matter is, there are two species that are near-identical in every way that inhabit the Earth. One is Human, one is Mengliad."


If they are nearly identical in every way, where is the drama or friction there? *Is there some conflict?*



> What would you do if you learned that there was a separate Human-like species on the planet"


A human-like species that is nearly identical in every way... why would I want to do anything?

More conflict. Are these people in danger from humans? visa versa?


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

> Humans, yes, in that they don't want the Humans to know they exist - the fear of being imprisoned and/or dissected; that sort of thing. Mostly, they're in danger because of other Mengliads who don't like Humans who have changed into Mengliads.


emphasize that in the blurb


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

Jana, I think the most important point is, there isn't enough conflict in the blurb. It's static. You're describing a situation, not the driving conflict of the novel. I don't know what your book is about, but here's an attempt at a template you can follow to make the blurb for Book 1 more active:

_Jessica Mitchell is a normal, hard-working college student until she collapses in a fit of fever in Central Park. She awakens in the arms of a handsome stranger, Craddock Daniels, and reluctantly accepts his help. Disoriented by illness, she doubts his story of a world she never dreamed existed. But when they're attacked by [antagonist], Craddock is the only one she can trust--or can she?

Craddock is inexplicably drawn to the redheaded young woman. He learns she has been changed against her will and has become one of his own kind, a humanoid species called the Mengliad. In helping Jessica learn to cope with her new condition, he risks [stakes], but he can't deny his attraction to [adjective] [adjective] young woman. Their world is changing, and Jessica is in grave danger from an [antagonist] who wants to [antagonist's goal]._

There's a lot more that you could do, but keep in mind that a good blurb tells about the protagonist, their goal, the obstacles, the antagonist, and the stakes. For a romance, you need to do that for both the hero and the heroine. You don't need to include a lot of detail, but goal, obstacles, and stakes are critical.


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## M. Fox (Oct 16, 2014)

Jana, I think you just need more writing practice, and to stop working on your completed books. Put those aside and move on. Fill your creative well with reading, movies, visual art, and music, let things marinate, and do a little writing each day, not necessarily for publication. I'm happy to buy you a copy of Artist's Way and Story Engineering. Just PM me if you're interested.


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

I definitely support using The Artist's Way for inspiration / therapy.

I think it is important to reflect on the fact that it is very hard to sell books. _Period_. A brand new author with a book faces an uphill battle to get read. While Amazon provides us with a great easy to use platform to upload our books, there is so much more to selling than just that. Amazon is great at selling books that are already selling. You have to get those first sales in order to get Amazon algorithm attention.

Many authors come to self-publishing with very little knowledge of publishing, self- or otherwise. They know even less about business, marketing, etc. They have a story and a finished manuscript and lots of hope. Amazon will upload your book and cover, you write a blurb and fit the right categories and keywords.

That is not enough for all but the rare few books that are hits right out of the starting gate.

Most of us have to work hard to sell books. Depending on genre and category, the work will be more or less hard and success will depend on the size of the audience for their particular book and their ability to reach it. It means writing more than one book, learning about editing and cover design and blurbs and categories and metadata and promotion and visibility. It means becoming business people -- publishers.

Only the very very few authors will put their first book out there on Amazon and sell big time.

For me personally, it took 4 self-published books to find the one that made my career. Even before I published my first three, I had written probably 5 full-length novels that were never published. They were fanfics or books that didn't deserve to see the light of day. 

So, for everyone who is struggling and who has low sales for their first few books? _Par for the course_. In this business, tenacity is essential. Keep writing. Learn the business. Work hard. You never know which one of the books you write will hit the charts and soar.


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

Andrea @ ArtWellPub said:


> Jana, I think the most important point is, there isn't enough conflict in the blurb. It's static. You're describing a situation, not the driving conflict of the novel. I don't know what your book is about, but here's an attempt at a template you can follow to make the blurb for Book 1 more active:
> 
> _Jessica Mitchell is a normal, hard-working college student until she collapses in a fit of fever in Central Park. She awakens in the arms of a handsome stranger, Craddock Daniels, and reluctantly accepts his help. Disoriented by illness, she doubts his story of a world she never dreamed existed. But when they're attacked by [antagonist], Craddock is the only one she can trust--or can she?
> 
> ...


Boy, I really screwed up this post. I meant to write:

I really like this blurb! It has it all.


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## countwordsmith (Aug 13, 2015)

Sela said:


> With Jana's permission, I am posting this here for feedback. I read the preview of her book and blurb and have been thinking of cover ideas that might be more new adult sf / fantasy romance and looked at comparable bestsellers.
> 
> I thought that this book was comparable to Jana's, although this is Young Adult, while I think Jana's is more New Adult:
> 
> ...


These covers are beautiful! I love them, and I think compared with the blurb someone wrote later in this thread, it would work great. Then Jana can complete her third book so she can get back in front of the reader's eyes, plus do permafree for book one or get into KU. Nice!


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

Some really good suggestions, here. I like She-la-ti-da's suggestion of a subtitle. Something simple that would help the reader identify Mengliad as another life form. "They walk among us," (bad example) or something along that line.

Jana, would you consider writing a short story that could serve as a prequel to the series that you could set to permafree, or use as a give-away to build your email list? Having a free book, even a short, would open up a lot of promotional doors to you. It would allow you to advertise on all the different freebie sites and Facebook groups, which would be great exposure, and you wouldn't be losing the earning potential of your current titles.

Or, you could use it to build your email list, which if you don't have one yet, you really, _really_ need to start building one.


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

Sela said:


> What do people think? These are just ideas and would probably need some touching up re: fonts and etc.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Zoom in more.


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

I also love Sela's cover designs. I agree with Nathalie's suggestions. Maybe the sci-fi elements could be stressed more by dialing up the texture effect a touch? I also think a starburst in the corner might help with the genre, if it's appropriate to the story. 

Jana, I agree that tweaking the blurb forever isn't a good strategy. But compelling blurbs follow a particular form, and your current blurb for Book 1 doesn't follow it. It's not clear what the obstacle is or what's at stake. And without those two things, there is no story.


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

JanaOnWheels said:


> I know. The old blurb DID explain that, but I was told that I should take that part out. So I did. I'm REALLY susceptible to advice/opinions, because I DON'T know what I'm doing. So, when people say, "You should do this!" I do it. But then someone else says, "No, you should do THIS!" So I try to do that, too. What tends to follow is me trying to please everyone but pleasing few.
> 
> This is the old blurb:
> 
> ...


Aw, I like the old blurb. From it, I think your genre is romance > science fiction


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

Andrea @ ArtWellPub said:


> I also love Sela's cover designs. I agree with Nathalie's suggestions. Maybe the sci-fi elements could be stressed more by dialing up the texture effect a touch? I also think a starburst in the corner might help with the genre, if it's appropriate to the story.
> 
> Jana, I agree that tweaking the blurb forever isn't a good strategy. But compelling blurbs follow a particular form, and your current blurb for Book 1 doesn't follow it. It's not clear what the obstacle is or what's at stake. And without those two things, there is no story.


While in most genres this is true, in speculative fiction it is all about discovering the unusual. I read spec fic, and I am drawn in by the original blurb.


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## countwordsmith (Aug 13, 2015)

I like the old blurb too, without the Adam and Eve part. That part feels like it's wandering...


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> This will probably sound argumentative, or like an excuse, or like I'm defending something because I can't admit that it's mediocre, but...
> 
> The blurb is a little bit vague on purpose. I have read blurbs before where I have literally thought, "You just told me everything! I don't even need to read you now!" And I didn't. I passed it up, because all the details were pretty much already given.
> 
> I didn't want to do that. I wanted to give just enough info to be intriguing, but not so much as to give away too much. I tried to find a balance.


Here's the thing... if your book has fantastical elements, the reader who is looking for books with fantastical elements needs to know yours has them or else they will go elsewhere. If your book has science fictiony elements, the reader has to know it because that is what they are looking for. The reader who wants to read something with mutant humans and romance needs to know that your book delivers. If you make it too vague, it will be only vague and not compelling. The fact that Craddock is a Mengliad and that Mengliads are mutant humans is not an issue.

Think of the book _I Am Number Four _by Pittacus Lore.

Here's the blurb:



> Nine of us came here. We look like you. We talk like you. We live among you. But we are not you. We can do things you dream of doing. We have powers you dream of having. We are stronger and faster than anything you have ever seen. We are the superheroes you worship in movies and comic books--but we are real.
> 
> Our plan was to grow, and train, and become strong, and become one, and fight them. But they found us and started hunting us first. Now all of us are running. Spending our lives in shadows, in places where no one would look, blending in. we have lived among you without you knowing.
> 
> ...


Everything is given away in the blurb. They are aliens. They are hiding in plain sight. They are being hunted down and killed. Number Four is next. The reader knows that the story will be about Number Four fighting for his life. That is enough to hook a huge number of readers. It is #484 in the Kindle Store right now and it has been out since 2010.

Your blurb, which I haven't personally got around to tweaking because people here have been doing such a good job, can give more away about the Mengliad because that is not the conflict. The conflict will be whether your heroine and hero can meet the challenges and threats that they face while their romance blossoms (I assume it does  )

So I know you are frustrated. I know this is stressful. However, what you have now isn't working well enough or else you wouldn't be considering pulling everything. It won't hurt to tweak more and give more away so that your reader looking for a fantastical romance will be secure in the knowledge that they will find it in your books.


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

Sela said:


> Here's the thing... if your book has fantastical elements, the reader who is looking for books with fantastical elements needs to know yours has them or else they will go elsewhere. If your book has science fictiony elements, the reader has to know it because that is what they are looking for. The reader who wants to read something with mutant humans and romance needs to know that your book delivers. If you make it too vague, it will be only vague and not compelling. The fact that Craddock is a Mengliad and that Mengliads are mutant humans is not an issue.
> 
> Think of the book _I Am Number Four _by Pittacus Lore.
> 
> ...


Yes!


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## Gina Black (Mar 15, 2011)

I think that the blurb situation has to do with what genre the story is really in. If it's romance, then the retooled blurb is what readers in that genre (like me) have come to expect in a blurb: it sets up the hero, the heroine, and the conflict. If it is *more* sci-fi than romance, then perhaps the old blurb is what you want to use (I don't read sci-fi so I don't have a sense of that). 

As a romance reader, the new blurb intrigues me and with the new cover I'd probably click to the "look inside" and check out the first few pages and if I liked them I'd buy the book. They way it looks now, I wouldn't--and that's just fine if it *is* more sci-fi, because the cover and blurb are to enable *your* audience to find you. I.e., you don't want to attract the wrong audience because they will be disappointed that the book isn't what they expected. 

You are *always* going to get conflicting advice. It's the nature of the beast. Just like some people will love your work and others won't. Ultimately it isn't good to change things unless you yourself think the change is right and fitting. 

However, based on your sales, there's no way that your books have found your audience with the blurb and cover you have now, so it makes sense to try something new.


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## Amy Corwin (Jan 3, 2011)

JanaOnWheels said:


> ...like pulling my novels and just calling it quits.
> 
> I never had unrealistic expectations; I figured I'd only sell a few books a month, maybe a few weekly if I was really lucky. I never expected instant fame or even moderate success. But I was kinda hoping for more than this.
> 
> ...


Been there and still am. But I think the thing that drives me to keep going is simply that I like to write. It is difficult when no one reads the stuff and you feel like what is the point. I feel that way a lot. But then I think of something I want to write and somehow I keep going. Doesn't help much. Sorry. But in the end I tell myself that a lot of other people spend a lot more on hobbies and so on a bad day I kind of remind myself of that and get back to business.
It helps if you stop checking non- existent sales, too. I have gone for months without checking and feel a lot better.

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

Jana, blurbs should not be vague. They should include some information and leave out most other information. But for the information they include, they should be specific. 

Does that make sense?


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Again, I'm not trying to be argumentative, but...
> 
> There is a ton of stuff kept vague in that blurb.
> 
> ...


You _are_ being argumentative. 

But that's okay because this is your baby, and everything has to please you because you are putting it out there under your name. I suspect what will please you most are sales. We are trying to help you make them.  There is some good collective wisdom here that you should take, consider, and go with what is the most convincing to you personally.

That said, a blurb has to reveal enough to let the reader know what to expect and keep enough hidden so that there is mystery and a reason for the reader to click "Purchase Now". If a blurb is too obscure and vague, the reader will not know what to expect and have no reason to click purchase.

You are promising the reader that if they buy your book, they will be rewarded with a compelling read of a certain genre and category. You want to give them every reason to click that buy button and that is what the blurb is for - to convince them to buy. If it is romance, you need a hero and heroine and the promise of a developing love relationship. If it is SF or Fantasy, you need to make sure the reader senses SF and Fantasy.

Too vague? Nothing to see here. _Move along._..

Writing compelling blurbs that lead to purchases is not easy, but we are writers. Words are our tools, right? We just have to learn the craft part.


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## amy_wokz (Oct 11, 2014)

Pray on it and let God speak to your heart. Once you're at peace with His Word, you will know what to do. I will say a prayer for you as well.


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Using the other blurb again as an example... The antagonist isn't named. You just know there is one. 'They'. I don't name my antagonist. You know there is one, because Jessica is now in danger because of the changes she's going through (last line of the blurb). So why is the other blurb considered 'right' and mine is considered 'wrong'?


In the other blurb, we know the danger is a "they." In your blurb, we don't even know that. It could be the illness Jessica has. If Jessica and Craddock are on the run from someone or something, that needs to be explicit. Even if you just call the antagonist "they."

And it helps if it's clear how the antagonist's goal conflicts with the protagonist's goal (antagonist wants to kill the protag / protag wants to stay alive). In a blurb, the reader doesn't have enough information to infer anything. You need to tell them.

I realize all of this is overwhelming. If you can't face it, maybe you can create a Word doc of the suggestions to save for future reference. You don't have to decide one way or another right now.


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## Gina Black (Mar 15, 2011)

JanaOnWheels said:


> I still don't get it, exactly, but I don't want to alienate anyone, so I'll keep my further questions to myself.
> 
> You've already done so much to help me - I don't want to repay you by being irritating.


Please, keep asking questions. Conflict is necessary in books and in life. 

I would suggest looking at the blurbs that other writers are using to sell their books that are romance/sci-fi. Look at LOTS of them.

I'm in sadder condition than you when it comes to my publication history. I have one book out that took me years to write and I self-pubbed it after the rights reverted back to me from a small primarily e-publisher (who hardly sold any). I re-covered it with a much more romance-y cover and with a retooled blurb (that was agony to create) and it has sold over 7000 copies since 2011 (although it has sunk into oblivion in the last couple of years--that's because its taken me so long with the next one).

The job of the cover and blurb are to hook a reader, to entice them into buying and reading the book. Since you said you've sold 100 copies in 5-1/2 years, I have to say your cover and blurb aren't doing that. It doesn't matter whether you like them or not, they aren't doing the job. That's why they need to change, not because anyone says so.


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> I still don't get it, exactly, but I don't want to alienate anyone, so I'll keep my further questions to myself.
> 
> You've already done so much to help me - I don't want to repay you by being irritating.


I think all of us sense you are very stressed by all this and I know for myself, and probably for everyone who has taken part in this thread, we want to help. Sometimes, all it takes to reach your audience and make some sales is a tweak to a blurb, a new cover, some changes to keywords or categories, a free ad or two. Probably another book in the series will help as well, but the purpose of the product page is to sell the product and if your product is not selling, there are a number of things you can try to do so.

We are all providing our honest opinions and advice so you can weigh them and see if any of the advice and suggestions make sense to you. If none of the advice makes sense, you can ignore it because this is your show.

You are the boss.


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> I think it's mostly a lack of promotion/marketing. I'm not saying the blurb is perfect, I'm not saying that I'm not willing to change it, I'm just not sure that it is the problem.
> 
> The covers? I'm not so sure this cover is a problem, but the previous covers WERE. Absolutely.
> 
> ...


If you think the problem is lack of promotion and not covers and blurb or preview, then there are free promo sites out there you can use to promote your book. I don't have the link in hand right now but if you search the forum for free promotion sites, I'm sure a thread with lists of them will show up.

Good luck!


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## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

JanaOnWheels said:


> I really think the biggest problem is visibility. Again, I'm not saying the blurb and current cover are perfect. I'm just saying I don't think they're the biggest issue.


If that's true, then the easiest solution would be to go permafree with _Mengliad_. You're already out on other platforms. Making _Mengliad _free would take a matter of minutes (change the price at B&N and iTunes, then email KDP requesting price-matching). Once _Mengliad _is free, you'll be able to promote it on smaller free-books sites that don't charge anything. C. Gockel maintains an extensive list of such sites. If you're lucky, you'll get a big natural permafree bump right away. Some of the downloads will translate to sales of _Registry_, giving you income and a boost in motivation.


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## Douglas E Wright (Mar 11, 2011)

I can sympathize. I've some stories out and nothing really sells or gets borrowed much. However, I do know I need to write longer stuff. I've been trying hard over the past couple years but can't seem to finish anything. I think it might have to do with being downsized out of a job, discovering heart disease, had two cancer operations and a host of other health related issues. I've recently lost my credit rating, so I can't even buy cheap books online. However, I know I write well and so do you. I started reading the first book sample. It's very well done. Congrats!

I love these threads because it reminds me that I'm not the only one not doing well. So, I read everything in them to see what I can correct.Don't get me wrong, I love the successful threads too! I learn from them as well.

I hope everything works out for you.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

I really like the example blurb Sela posted. I don't even read that genre, but that blurb made me want to read the book, anyway. It builds a lot of suspense and intrigue. Who are they? No, the blurb doesn't tell us that. It keeps that a secret. The is an important distinction; the difference between a secret and being vague. A secret makes people curious so they want to know more. Being vague fails to pique curiosity and leaves readers feeling disinterested. It is a subtle difference that has a huge impact on how the reader responds.

In that example, I really want to know who they are and why they are being hunted. I'm curious, now. And knowing that the protag is next in line, that creates a lot of suspense and a sense of urgency. I not only want to know, but I want to know _now_because time is ticking, and he may not survive much longer. ;-)

Secrets are a good thing. Being vague is not. If you can bring that element of secrecy into your blurb and build a little more on the romantic element (the secret can be what is keeping them apart), I think readers would be more likely to buy.


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

Jana, I think the biggest problem is that you don't have enough books out. But you say you can't write because your sales are so low that you don't see the point. So we're trying to help you sell more of the books you already have out. 

The current covers and blurb aren't terrible, although they could be better. Promotion will help you get more visibility, which should help you sell a few more books.  But unfortunately, it's not realistic to expect books to sell at the steady rate you're hoping for until you've got at least 3 books out. A free story to lead people into the series would be a big help as well. 

Your experience is completely typical for someone who has two books out. You need more books. Fortunately, writing the books is the part you do best.  So please don't give up!


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## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

JanaOnWheels said:


> I had considered going permafree with Mengliad, but was told I should wait until the third book is out.
> 
> Then yesterday, it was suggested that I pull out of wide distribution and enroll in KDP. I delisted with D2D (still waiting for B&N and Scribd to catch up), and then once I'm in KDP, I guess I can do special sales or promotions or something. ?? Someone on the boards is helping me with that.


Yes, being in KDP Select/Kindle Unlimited will give you the ability to offer your book for free five days out of every ninety. Countdown deals are also a possibility (sales where the price of your book starts low and rises back to normal over a few days). And people can borrow the book for free (to them) through the KU subscription program (you get paid per page when they read). Trying out Select/KU is a good idea. You can use C. Gockel's list of sites to line up no-cost promos for _Mengliad _when you offer it for free within Select/KU.

FWIW, I think the standard advice to wait for a third in series before going permafree isn't applicable to people in your and my situation. It's great advice if you're publishing regularly and want to maximize sell-through, but when multiple years are going by between publications, it's more a matter of not letting your books drift into complete invisibility. Permafree sure helped me with that. If Select/KU is a bust, give permafree a try and see if it's any better.


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## Kylo Ren (Mar 29, 2014)

I'm going to throw this out there.

A good blurb should address five things.

1. Identify the main character. Not just her name, but a little about who she is. Make the prospective buyer see a real person.
2. What does she want (this goes along with question 1) at the beginning of the story?
3. What gets in her way? What's preventing her from getting what she wants?
4. What does she need to do to overcome it?
5. What is at stake if she fails?

If the blurb answers those five questions in a succinct way (two to three paragraphs or so), then it should be pretty strong. After that you can nitpick certain word usage to make it stronger, but those five questions are the core.

Now, if it's a romance and there are two main characters (meaning your story is told from BOTH POVs), you can identify character 1 and what she wants in the first part, identify character 2 and what he wants in the second part, then hopefully the rest of the questions are answered in relation to the two of them together. I'm assuming your characters are a unit and that there's an adversary beyond them, working against them. If main character 2 is the adversary, that might make things a bit trickier.

As others have said, you don't need to be overly specific. For instance, you don't have to mention the antagonist by name, but you do have to allude to it in a somewhat clear manner. I personally think the "they" in the _I Am Number Four_ blurb is a little too vague. I would've said something like "An ancient enemy." A little more specific but still enough mystery.

Hopefully this helps.


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## unkownwriter (Jun 22, 2011)

Jana, sorry about the family inn thing, I was confusing you with something I saw elsewhere. Ooops!

I'll have to come back and catch up (again! this thread moves fast), remember to take those deep breaths.


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## Evenstar (Jan 26, 2013)

Hi Jana
We've debated before on here about this book, so I know how you feel and I know how frustrated you are and I know your limitation (folks Jana truly is not in a position to spend money and has some disabilities that make her just the most amazing person ever to be managing writing and publishing at all in my opinion).

But despite that I'm still going to go for tough love with an open hand offer. (and feel free to totally ignore everything I say, because basically it is just one person's opinion and I could easily be completely wrong, but here is my take on it anyway!)

Why not let the people here take over for you for a bit? Just let it go... Give them a chance and if it doesn't work out then go back to everything as it was. Just an idea you could try before giving up on your excellent books.

From the top then: Yes, you need to pull from all other sites and go into* KU*. Just ask how and people will explain in great detail.

I think you need to *republish from scratch*. People don't want to see old books, they want new ones. A complete relaunch with new title and covers and then just ask Amazon to transfer your reviews, which they will. This is up to you, but I think it will help loads. (I do have to confess I've never been sold on the title either, simply because it doesn't tell you anything when you are scanning for a book to read. It is a made up word and loses me - whereas if it was something like "Taken" or "Coming for Her" or something I could relate to then I would be more likely to click, but just my humble opinion).

*Third book:* I know this is incredibly hard for you. I really do, but let me share my figures and hopefully you will get the point.
The Flirting Games sold 15 copies total until I published book 2 three months later, I then lowered book 1 to .99p, I think I sold maybe another ten until book three was out. More Flirting Games sold 35 copies until I published book 3 another three months later. At that point I set book 1 to permafree and the second and third book at 3.99. In the first month that book three was out I made just under $500.
Now I know you could use $500 so strap on a tin foil hat and write, even a hundred words a day, but *do it*. It really is the key, or at least a fighting chance of holding the key for a minute.

*Permafree* - yes in an ideal world you want to wait for book three, but at least if you were in KU then you could do some free days. Some promo sites will not take you unless you are free or only 99c

*Covers*, Sela you are _awesome_, but I wasn't sold on the new cover for this book. I think the current first cover looks tired with the muted colours and it needs something really punchy and bright, whereas Sela's is better but still quite gentle and could be lost in the "noise". I want to see a cover that says "Science Fiction and Romance", simply because those are the readers. They are readers who will pay money to find such a book. Thriller suspense is a much smaller market, and I wouldn't bother trying to tap it when you could get the scifi romantics instead.

*Blurb:* I know you have played with it until your brain fried, but I really don't think hiding the punch line is doing you any favours. This one is brilliant IMHO, just try it for a bit??


Andrea @ ArtWellPub said:


> Jana, I think the most important point is, there isn't enough conflict in the blurb. It's static. You're describing a situation, not the driving conflict of the novel. I don't know what your book is about, but here's an attempt at a template you can follow to make the blurb for Book 1 more active:
> _Jessica Mitchell is a normal, hard-working college student until she collapses in a fit of fever in Central Park. She awakens in the arms of a handsome stranger, Craddock Daniels, and reluctantly accepts his help. Disoriented by illness, she doubts his story of a world she never dreamed existed. But when they're attacked by [antagonist], Craddock is the only one she can trust--or can she?
> Craddock is inexplicably drawn to the redheaded young woman. He learns she has been changed against her will and has become one of his own kind, a humanoid species called the Mengliad. In helping Jessica learn to cope with her new condition, he risks [stakes], but he can't deny his attraction to [adjective] [adjective] young woman. Their world is changing, and Jessica is in grave danger from an [antagonist] who wants to [antagonist's goal]._ There's a lot more that you could do, but keep in mind that a good blurb tells about the protagonist, their goal, the obstacles, the antagonist, and the stakes. For a romance, you need to do that for both the hero and the heroine. You don't need to include a lot of detail, but goal, obstacles, and stakes are critical.


*Categories*: The others are right, you need science fiction and you need _romance_. Again, these are where a lot of the voracious readers are.

Lastly offer of help. I would be happy to help you with your keywords, just say you want me to and I'll get on it and send them to you. All you then need to do is copy and paste them into the keyword box. I would also be happy to help with formatting and inserting links etc for you. But I can't do it until September 12th, so if you get any other offers before then then take them.
Money - You are impossibly proud and I respect you for it. I'm certainly not going to offer you money, but I will offer to get a promotion for you. You just have to say yes. Then I can send the links to your book to a couple of sites and they will promote you. I'm willing to bet other people would do this too. You don't ever have to see the colour of their money you just have to say yes thank you. And try to price the book as low as you can for the promos (the point being to boost your ranking and visibility and then sell through to book 2).

Okay. tough love over and soft love coming through: Hang in there, you don't have to write fast, just keep going for the love of it, and if you don't make any changes at all and it takes 5 years to write the next one, then so what, you will _still _get a boost when you release the third one. We think you can write and we're a really critical bunch  xx


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## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

Just to add: since no clear science-y explanation for the existence of the Mengliads is being offered (right?), this could as easily be paranormal romance as sci-fi romance. Personally, I'd put it in those two subcategories of romance. It's neither clearly sci-fi nor fantasy, so ... great! It can be both! There are way more paranormal romance readers than sci-fi romance readers, I suspect. That'd be a good market to tap.


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## Patty Jansen (Apr 5, 2011)

Don't change anything. Make the first book free and write the next one.

"I was told" is a phrase that should be erased from a self-publisher's vocabulary. If what you're doing isn't making you happy, do something else, but don't use "I was told" as excuse not to try stuff.

The thread title talks about drastic. I sort-of expected you to say you'd make both books free and walk away from them for a few months. That's drastic. Put the mailing list link for book 3 in the back and take a break. Then write book 3.

IMO anything you do with the current books is fiddling in the margins that's only going to lead to more frustration. Those tactics only work if you have regular sales already. If you have no sales and no visibility you need to do something drastic to gain some visibility. Make book 1 free. Submit it to free promo sites every week (I mean ones that cost no money to list). Submit it to a bunch of Facebook groups every week. Write the next book. That's most important.


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## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Becca,
> 
> No, there's no exact explanation given for their existence. Like how we have some people who think we were created and some who think we evolved, the Mengliads have the same debates. They just also have 'arrived by spacecraft' thrown in there. Does that make it paranormal? Because they're a species on indeterminate origin?


Yeah, I think it does: not in the woo-woo-ghosts or magic sense, but in the sense that Mengliads are para-(as in "to the side of-")normal reality without a science-y explanation.

In other words, you're writing speculative fiction, and the exact type is undetermined. If the Mengliads were being given a clearly science-y explanation (alien invaders/colonizers, genetic engineering, mutation prompted by a virus), you'd be in clearly sci-fi territory. But that's not the case, and without the science-y trappings, I think it's perfect fair and reasonable to call it fantasy. And when a romance has fantasy elements, it's a paranormal romance.

Like I said, I'd go for both sci-fi romance and paranormal romance, maximizing your exposure within romance.

I hear your frustration on the blurb. Yes, there are different schools of thought on what blurbs should be like, and of course personal taste comes into it as well.

If I were you, I'd take the most straightforward route: if a successful romance author who writes their own blurbs is suggesting your revise your blurb in a particular way, I'd take that advice. That person probably knows what they're doing. This is not to say that folks who aren't selling a lot don't also know what they're doing -- many of them do. But when you have to choose among contradictory pieces of advice, you have to decide based on something, and a successful track-record is one of the more objective measures you can use.

FYI, it took me far more than a dozen revisions to get the blurb I have now on _Nolander_. This is what we do.


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## Kylo Ren (Mar 29, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Jessica Mitchell is a normal, hard-working (1) assistant cook, (2)until she collapses with a strange illness in Central Park. She awakens under the gaze of a handsome stranger, (3) Craddock Daniels, and reluctantly, (4) eventually, accepts his help. (5) Disoriented by illness, she doubts his story of a world she never dreamed existed. (6) But when they're attacked by the Purists, Craddock is the only one she can trust--or can she?
> 
> Craddock is inexplicably drawn to the redheaded young woman. He learns she has been changed against her will (7) and has become one of his own kind, a humanoid species called the Mengliad. In helping Jessica learn to cope with her new condition, he risks (8 ) far more than his friends think he should, but he can't deny his attraction to the shy yet fiery young woman. (9) Jessica is changing, and she is in grave danger from the elitist group who wants her dead.


I know you don't think this is better, but I'm guaran-damn-teeing you it is. It's not perfect, but it's so much closer to what it needs to be.

Some notes:

(1) Do you mean a sous chef? If so, use that. It just sounds better. If you don't, it needs to be phrased in a more interesting way, I think. Maybe something like: "Jessica Mitchell is a normal, hard-working young woman, slaving away as an assistant chef in a (adjective) New York restaurant."

(1b) The big thing missing here is what Jessica wants. Does she want to find Mr. Right and settle down? Does she want to be left alone and watch Gilligan's Island reruns with her dog, Fido? What? Does she want to become the head chef, have her own restaurant? Tell us!

(2) Needs more of a setup before you launch right into the triggering event. "On her way home from work one evening, she collapses in Central Park, wracked with fever." Or some such thing as that. Much more dramatic.

(3) I would drop the name here, as in you're going to clarify it in the next paragraph when you start to talk about Craddock. Again, as I said before, if he's not a POV character, I wouldn't give him his own paragraph. In which case, do mention his name here but just the first name. I know it's confusing, but try to trust me a bit.

(4) Drop "eventually." It's not important for the blurb that this happens eventually. The reluctantly part is more important because it keys us into her suspicion.

(5) Rewrite this. I would change it to something like, "Then he tells Jessica that the world isn't quite what she thought it was, and she can't believe Craddock is anything but insane." Is that last part true? Seems like it should be. But if it's not, we can address it some other way.

(6) Problem with this is that, at this point, does Jessica know they're Purists? Or from her perspective, are they attacked by Purists or by people she doesn't know? That's important because at this point in the blurb, we're in her headspace. Also, I don't like when phrases because they're overused, but for simplicity you can do it. Everyone else is so why not. It certainly won't scare anyone off.

"But when Jessica and Craddock are attacked by (describe these people succinctly--assassins? ninjas? men with big swords? what?), she realizes she has no choice but to trust him--for now." I would avoid the "Or can she?" Asking the reader questions pops them out of the immediacy you're trying to create in the blurb. The phrase "she has not choice but to trust him--for now" show that she really doesn't know if she can trust him.

(7) Seems a bit awkward. I would change to ".. changed (transformed, maybe?) against her will into a Mengliad, one of his own kind, humanoids with the (WE NEED A DIFFERENCE HERE! SOMETHING! ANYTHING! WHAT MAKES THEM UNIQUE? PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!).

(8 ) This really needs more specificity. I like the thing about his friends, but what is he risking? His life? His family's life? The existence of his entire species? What?

(8b) Also, if Craddock is an MC, we really should know what he wants too. You can get away with forgoing it, but his life is somehow turned upside down when Jessica enters it, right? But never mind that for now if it's too hard to add in. But really this whole Craddock guy could be fleshed out just a bit more in his section. We know he's Mengliad but that's it. If details about him remain a total mystery until well into Act 2, then fine, leave it out.

(9) This is fine, but we can't end it there. Start a new paragraph with this, and then tell us what she and Craddock need to do. It doesn't have to be specific. Together, she and Craddock need to find a way (simple as that) to put a stop to (thus and such), or the fate of both Humans and Mengliad alike are in peril. <---you don't have to be specific, but we need to know something's at stake.

Okay, this is going in the right direction, I promise you. You seem like Jessica, unwilling to trust. But trust the people here. With their help, you can hammer this thing out and make it better. You're probably going to have to accept that maybe you can't see everything clearly. Like I said, you might not think this blurb is better, but it is. It just is. It tells the reader the stuff he/she WANTS to know before diving in. It tells them what the story is going to be and has the information that will hook them.



> No, there's no exact explanation given for their existence. Like how we have some people who think we were created and some who think we evolved, the Mengliads have the same debates. They just also have 'arrived by spacecraft' thrown in there. Does that make it paranormal? Because they're a species on indeterminate origin?


If there aren't ghosts or magic or something, I would keep it strictly within the realm of sci-fi. Ask this question (and you, as the creator, really should know the answer, even if your readers never do): does their existence owe more to science or to something mystical? Then you'll know whether paranormal enters into it. In my opinion.


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

Jana, you don't sound rude at all. The thing is, blurbs aren't entirely subjective. Certain elements need to be there in order for the blurb to be effective, and yours is missing a couple of them. (See Kylo's list, and compare it to your blurb.)

That template wasn't really meant as a fill-in-the blank. It was meant as an example of how you can weave in the missing elements in a way that works for YOU. 

As much as possible, blurbs should use strong verbs, concrete nouns, and evocative language. Because blurbs are so short, every word should do double duty - not only introducing the story, but immersing the reader in the story world.


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## katiemeyer (Oct 23, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> I get that I can't please everyone, no matter how hard I try to.
> 
> And that's the thing. There is no such thing as a perfect blurb. I can kill myself tweaking it every other week, but really, there will always be someone who doesn't like it. At what point do we call it good and move on?


You can't please everyone, but you can please more! And yes, everyone has an opinion, but go with the opinion of the people selling the books. Listen to the experts, not your neighbor or another author not selling anything. There IS a formula to blurbs to some extent, and although you might not like that kind of blurb, you aren't writing it for you, it's for potential readers. I love the blurb someone wrote for you above.


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

But make sure it's an author in your category.

And get the frick out of the literature category! That one is death!

Your correct category is fiction > Romance 

and in your keywords, put 

science fiction paranormal


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## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

JanaOnWheels said:


> And here's a perfect example of a contradiction. Some say this could be listed as paranormal, some say it shouldn't. So who do I listen to?
> 
> See what I mean?


Well, ideally someone who writes _romance_ in one or both of these subgenres, which neither Kylo nor I do, so far as I know. 

But seriously, yes, I agree with Kylo: if you yourself know that the Mengliads have a science-y origin, you should probably stick with sci-fi romance because the science-y-ness of the situation will creep through a bit, even if you never mention it explicitly. I got the sense, though, that you hadn't formulated an explanation for their existence, in which case I think you can safely file it under both. Keep in mind, too, that science-fantasy is a substantial subgenre in and of itself, despite not having a clear home at Amazon. Many books blend elements of sci-fi and fantasy or straddle the line between them. Yours may be one of these. For instance, the characteristics you've given to the Mengliads remind me of vampires -- long-lived, not subject to illness, sensitive to light, telepathic, able to spread their condition to humans. Clearly you don't intend them to *be *vampires, but there seems to be a little cross-pollination from fantasy going on.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

My apologies if someone already mentioned this. If so, I missed it. I was wondering about Kindle Scout. If you were to submit your books to KS, and Amazon accepts them for publication, it is my understanding that you would receive an upfront payment of $1,500 per title, and they would also do a lot of marketing on your behalf. I know it means you would take a slightly lower royalty and would be under contract with Amazon for five years, but maybe it's something to consider.


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## Kylo Ren (Mar 29, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Wow, Kylo, this is a lot of info! Thanks for going through the trouble to type all of that out!
> 
> I know these questions were meant for me to reflect on and use to fix what's wrong, but answering them will help me do that. So...
> 
> ...


Then, it should be something about her slaving away as a lowly assistant cook at a New York pub, with ASPIRATIONS of one day becoming head cook. It doesn't matter that you don't spend time on it. Then is who Jessica is at the BEGINNING of the story. And (& this is important) the blurb exists in that part of your story that is between the beginning to about halfway through your first act (more or less).



> I never mention a fever. I just refer to it as it seeming like a strange flu bug.


Okay, you're gonna have to work with me here. I haven't read your book, so I don't know the exact specifics of her symptoms. "...reeling from an illness she thinks is the flu, she collapses in Central Park." Or something. You're a writer. You can make it work.



> Okies. I have this weird thing about it being 'inaccurate'. I had this debate with someone else last time I changed the blurbs. They don't discuss things when she's in Central Park. She doesn't trust him then. It's only after a second and third meeting that info comes out and she starts to trust him. Hence the 'eventually'. But I can drop it.


Not having "eventually" does not make it inaccurate. The blurb is moving fluidly through time. Readers understand this. Every line you write should have an understood "eventually" attached to it. It does not matter if she doesn't trust him right that second she wakes up but does later. I say again, it doesn't matter.



> LOL, yeah, that pretty much sums it up.


Makes sense.



> Yes, she does. And they don't exactly 'attack'. They burst into her apartment and sort of take them at NOT-gunpoint. And they're an elitist group of Mengliads who don't like Humans who convert into Mengliads. To the point of wanting to eradicate them.


So, they are physically taken? Then say that for the love of Pete. But I think what we need to do here, is drop this part to later. Going off the feeling I'm getting that Craddock, by this point, has already told her all this stuff. By the time, they break in, she already knows about the Purists, right? Okay, moving on.

[quoted]The main differences are longer lifespan, extreme light sensitivity, and they can't get sick. Those don't seem workable into a blurb.[/quote]

Okay. We can work with that. But I think you need a strong adjective that kind of sums up the Mengliad. You can say vampire-like, but I wouldn't if you're wanting people to not think of them as vampires.



> I really don't want to throw that into the blurb. It's a multi-layered answer, anyway, that is released in bits and pieces throughout the novel. It's not an easy answer and it's not one I want to give away in the blurb.


Fine. But you need to still be less vague than you are being. You can do this by describing how he would feel about the consequences, should they occur.



> Craddock was pretty happy with his life just like it was. He just wanted a simple existence, really, though that's not specifically stated. Just sort of shown and implied. That's part of what makes him hero-like - his life was just as he wanted it, but now, helping Jessica has thrown his whole existence into chaos.


That last part especially is pretty huge. It should be stated.



> Surviving, basically. That's what's at stake. The Purists want her dead, and is pretty much willing to kill anyone who helps her. Then there is another agency that is helping them, the Registry. They're trying to get from point A to point B (a safe location under new names) without getting found and killed by the Purists.


Well, fighting for survival is enough, I suppose.



> And here's a perfect example of a contradiction. Some say this could be listed as paranormal, some say it shouldn't. So who do I listen to?
> 
> See what I mean?


Just pick the one you think it has more of. Now that I think of it, you probably should steer away from sci-fi. It doesn't sound like it has anything to do with technology, which is really a hallmark of true science fiction. And it's not the future, is it? So paranormal might be a better choice. So, if that's the case, you might want to pick that for your category: paranormal romance. However, you can use all that stuff in your keywords if you want.

Here's a new stab at the blurb. It'll need fine tuning, but this is the kind of thing you want to go for, in my opinion.

_Jessica Mitchell is a normal, hard-working young woman, slaving away as a lowly assistant cook at a New York pub with aspirations of one day running the kitchen herself. Then one night, on her way home from work, reeling from something she thinks is just the flu, she collapses in Central Park. She awakens under the gaze of a handsome stranger and reluctantly accepts his help. But then this stranger tells Jessica that the world isn't quite what she thought it was, and she can't believe he is anything but insane.

Craddock Daniels is happy with his life just the way it is, but then he comes across Jessica, unconscious in the Park. He is inexplicably drawn to the young woman and soon discovers she has been changed, against her will, into a Mengliad, one of his own species, vampire-like (try to think of a better adjective here) humanoids who are immune to sickness and favored with long life. But Jessica is a pariah to those of Craddock's kind who believe in strict adherence to the purity of their species.

When these Mengliad Purists abduct both Craddock and Jessica, she realizes she has no choice but to trust him--for now. She must put herself in his hands if she wants to survive. And though Craddock is risking his very life by helping Jessica, he can't deny his attraction to this shy yet fiery young woman. Together, they will either find a way to escape those who would annihilate them or be utterly destroyed._

Personally, I think that works pretty well. What do you think? It's difficult, but it's not difficult. You just have to know the formula and keep working at it until you get something that's compelling enough to appeal to a potential reader.

EDIT: oops, had to change some tense problems there. Better now.


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

LOVE this blurb. 

As for the genre question, ask yourself, which sells better, sci-fi romance or paranormal romance? (Okay, maybe that's a rhetorical question.)

Position the book in both categories. Your goal is to make money. It doesn't matter that it fits better under sci-fi. If you've got an excuse to put it under paranormal (vampire-like creatures!), then put it under paranormal.


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

Just to throw yet another monkey wrench into the mix, here's my own stab at a blurb:



> One drop of blood is all it takes to throw Jessica Mitchell's very ordinary life into complete chaos.
> 
> That single drop of blood changes Jessica in ways she can barely believe, awakening her dormant nature and forcing her into an accidental conversion to the Mengliad -- a species of mutants almost identical to humans except for an extended lifespan and powers of telepathy, and whose existence is a closely-guarded secret that their kind will kill to protect.
> 
> ...


Just to, you know, complicate things even further! Ignore, tweak or use as you see fit. 

I definitely would put it in paranormal romance and fantasy romance because neither science nor a futuristic setting seem to be a big part of the story. It seems more urban fantasy or paranormal to me based on what I have read.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

Love this blurb Kylo Ren. I feel like I know a lot more about the story, now, and especially Craddock Daniels. I hope you don't mind a few suggested tweaks. See the blurb:



Kylo Ren said:


> _Jessica Mitchell is a normal, hard-working young woman, slaving away as a lowly assistant cook at a New York pub with aspirations of one day running the kitchen herself. Then one night, on her way home from work, reeling from something {Jessica is overtaken by what } she thinks is just the flu, she {and}collapses in Central Park. She awakens under the gaze of a handsome stranger and reluctantly accepts his help. But then {when}this stranger tells Jessica that the world isn't quite what she thought it was, and she can't believe he is anything but insane.
> 
> Craddock Daniels is happy with his life just the way it is, but then he comes across Jessica, unconscious in the Park. He is inexplicably drawn to the young woman and soon discovers she has been changed, against her will, into a Mengliad, one of his own species, vampire-like (try to think of a better adjective here) {of}humanoids who are immune to sickness and favored with long life. But Jessica is a pariah to those of Craddock's kind who believe in strict adherence to the purity of their species.
> 
> When these Mengliad Purists abduct both Craddock and Jessica, she realizes she has no choice but to trust him--for now. She must put herself in his hands if she wants to survive. And though Craddock is risking his very life by helping Jessica, he can't deny his attraction to this shy yet fiery young woman. Together, they will either find a way to escape those who would annihilate them or be utterly destroyed._


Again, love your blurb. It is very suspenseful and has me interested in finding out what happens to them.


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## JTriptych (Aug 23, 2015)

Don't give up, Jana. Just keep writing. Since you say you've got nothing to lose then just write for the sake of it. Make friends with a lot of people and have them serve as both mentors/editors. You never know when lady luck will come your way but if you don't stay by the side of the road and keep thumbing then she might not see you at all.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

Oh, I really like Sela's blurb, too. Especially that first line. That practically grabs you by the throat.


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## Kylo Ren (Mar 29, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Kylo, Sela, I love both of your blurbs! Let me play with them a bit and see what I can come up with.
> 
> Thanks so much for the help!


Make it your own but resist going too crazy. I'm actually fine with the tweaks vimain made. I would suggest strong words that work with your story, but don't alter the structure too much. There's a tension there. Characters are revealed, the stakes are established. Hopefully this sheds some light on the kind of blurb format that draws a reader in by defining the key elements without revealing too much.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

Sorry, actually, I should have asked before tweaking. I just got a little too excited.


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## Melody Simmons (Jul 8, 2012)

I think that publishing two books in five years is just not enough. Most of the top selling authors I know produce at least three books per year. I think you need to increase you number of books and faster if you want to attain success.


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## Kylo Ren (Mar 29, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Okay... *wipes brow*
> 
> How's this?
> 
> It seems long. Is it too long? Did I mess with it too much?


First off, it's not too long, and here's why. Romance books descriptions have the annoying necessity of a paragraph to identify the second protagonist. It's the nature of the beast.

I think this structure is overall pretty solid. My only caveat is that I really, really, really think you need to define Mengliad beyond "humanoid species." I think it's key to having a more successful blurb. "Humanoid species" tells us virtually nothing. You need something that's going to create more of an interest in the reader, something that's going to make them go, _ohhh, that sounds cool; I want to know more about that._ Especially if you're going to insist on titling the book Mengliad. The one question people are going to have coming from the cover to the blurb is "What's a Mengliad?" And "humanoid species" by itself does nothing to pique my interest. Know what I mean?

So, what do the others think?

But I think this is definitely stronger than what you have currently. Is it going to increase your sales? Probably not because I suspect your books are buried deep in the sea of everything else. This is billed as a "series." It's right there on the cover. You're really going to have to find some way to get some inspiration, do some writing. I don't know what kind of writer you are, but before I ever do any writing on a project, I sit down and have a nice long think. I plot it out. For me, it's a fun process. Take a look at Libby Hawker's Take Off Your Pants (think that's what it's called). It's not the Bible or anything, but it can be useful in finding a way to structure a story. I know funds are a problem. If you like, I can loan you Libby's book through Amazon's lending option. Just PM me an email address and your name (I won't spam you, promise), and you can borrow the book for 14 days. If you think that would be useful to you.

I understand the challenges you have to writing. But if you can find a way to achieve a small daily goal, that's still better than nothing. Like someone else said, even if it's a hundred words. But I was seriously consider doing planning before you even start writing. It's not as stressful a process because all you're doing, maybe with just a pen and paper, is saying "what shenanigans are my characters getting themselves into this time?" Maybe you already have a goal for what's happening next. When I started my trilogy, I already knew what each book was generally going to be about.

Anyway, that's all for now.


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## Tuttle (Jun 10, 2010)

The Mengliad sentence seems off to me now - because it seems like you're saying Mengliads are just better than humans. 

The last sentence feels really awkward to me as "joined by Craddock, they..." - I get pulled out of it and wonder who they is. ("It can't be Jessica and Craddock because Craddock wouldn't be joined by himself unless that's some special Mengliad power that we've not heard about"). 

It's the they/she issue in the last sentence that makes the last paragraph feel wrong though - you're changing singular to plural while the beginning of the sentence has Jessica be who fits the pronoun, and the end of the sentence be both of them who does.


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

This is good, but it's a bit wordy. I've taken a stab at tightening it and maybe making it a bit more compelling.

_One drop of blood is all it takes to throw Jessica Mitchell's life into complete chaos.

She doesn't think much about the scratch on her arm during her normal day working as an assistant cook at a New York pub, dreaming of running the kitchen. That changes when she's overtaken by nausea and chills on the way home from work and collapses in Central Park. She awakens hours later, the blue eyes of a handsome stranger gazing down at her, and reluctantly accepts his help. But when this man tells her the world isn't what she thought it was, she can't believe he's anything but insane.

Craddock Daniels never planned on being a hero, but he's inexplicably drawn to the beautiful redhead from the park. He discovers that she has been changed, against her will, into one of his own kind -- a long-lived humanoid species called the Mengliad. His sense of honor and undeniable attraction compels him to help her, even though it might get him killed.

Seen as an abomination by an elitist Mengliad faction, Jessica has to leave everyone and everything she's ever known. Together, she and Craddock embark on a perilous journey, developing a deeper bond as they struggle to stay one step ahead of the Mengliad purists out for their blood._

I'd like to see one more sentence in the last paragraph (maybe in the middle?). The rhythm is off. If this is truly romance, meaning that it has a central love story, it should include a hint of the obstacle to the love relationship.


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## Tuttle (Jun 10, 2010)

Andrea @ ArtWellPub said:


> Craddock Daniels never planned on being a hero, but he's inexplicably drawn to the beautiful redhead from the park. He discovers that she has been changed, against her will, into one of his own kind -- a long-lived humanoid species called the Mengliad. His sense of honor and undeniable attraction compels him to help her, even though it might get him killed.


This entire paragraph feels like it doesn't flow to me. The middle sentence still is the most awkward one that needs work I think - if you work with it enough, the entire paragraph will read better. As it is, it has the wrong texture.



> Together, she and Craddock embark on a perilous journey, developing a deeper bond as they struggle to stay one step ahead of the Mengliad purists out for their blood.


Do you want it to be out for their blood? I think that says a lot more than "want them dead" and might be right and might be wrong. Realizing that it started with "one drop of blood" - people being out for their blood feels like a stronger statement than wanting them dead. It's a thing to think about.


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

Maybe change the last paragraph to this:

_Seen as an abomination by an elitist Mengliad faction, Jessica has to leave everyone and everything she's ever known. Despite their differences, Craddock can't let her go alone. Together, they embark on a perilous journey, developing a deeper bond as they struggle to stay one step ahead of the Mengliad purists determined to destroy them._

As for that other troublesome sentence, this might be better:

_He learns she's been changed against her will into one of his own kind -- a long-lived humanoid species called the Mengliad._


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## Tuttle (Jun 10, 2010)

Here's a suggestion for that Craddock paragraph - not sure what I think about it, but I've been playing with it and thought it worth sharing to see if you'd want to play with it.

_Craddock Daniels never planned on being a hero. But plans change and he's inexplicably draw to the beautiful redhead in the park. There he learns she's been changed against her will into one of his own kind -- a long-lived humanoid species called the Menglaid. His sense of honor, and undeniable attraction, compels him to help her, even though it might get him killed. 

-----

As for what you have -

I prefer "normal day working" over "normal work day" with the rest of the sentence. Otherwise, I like those tweaks._


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

Sorry, but I don't like this version of the Craddock paragraph. It's got a run-on sentence and it's repetitive, which is why I changed it. 

Maybe wait for some more responses before tweaking again?


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## Kylo Ren (Mar 29, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> More tweaking:
> 
> Good?


I spent 30 minutes writing this long post before when the Kboards server shut down. I don't have the mental energy to do it again. But you're heading in the wrong direction, and the blurb is losing focus.


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## Jennifer Lewis (Dec 12, 2013)

Sounds like you have loads of great advice already and I love Sela's covers. I would also suggest that you make changing the title a top priority if you want to reach romance readers. 

I think you should study the alien romance genre (or whatever is closest) and look at what is selling. Since it's romance I'd think something that has an emotional charge would be good. I don't know that subgenre at all but maybe something along the lines of The Outsiders, Bad Blood, Hunted, The One Drop Rule. You want your title to make people sit up and take notice. 

You could even have a subtitle that draws people in more, ie The Alien Inside

If you do this, then keep Mengliad as your series title your Amazon listing would be 
Hunted (Mengliad Book 1)
or
Hunted: The Alien Inside (Mengliad Book 1)

So your Mengliad name is still there, there's just a lot more for people to sink their teeth into.

Onward and upward! I wrote for years and finished 10 books before I finally was able to reach a reader in the bad old pre-self publishing days, so it could be a lot worse


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Ugh. I suck at this.
> 
> Okay...
> 
> ...


The bug is distracting.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

How about this for that last sentence: "His sense of honor, and undeniable attraction, compels him to help her, knowing very well it could cost him his life."

I agree it flows, but to be honest, the flow has softened it to the point that it has lost its sense of suspense and urgency. What I really liked about Kylo's blurb was that it built a lot of suspense, and it left me wanting to know how they are going to survive. The romantic element was there, percolating in the background, but the primary focus was the suspense, and I feel that is what is going to get readers to click the Buy button.

Blurbs are hard because it's a different kind of writing than what we use to craft our stories. Blurbs are sales copy. The purpose of the blurb is to sell the book. It's advertising, and copy writing is a completely different animal. I think this is why novelists find blurb writing painful, because it's so different. But, in ad copy, the sentences should be short, succinct, and compelling. That, to me, is what made Kylo's blurb so powerful.

If this was my book, I would take Sela's awesome first sentence, and follow it with Kylo's blurb. I really, really would. It is your book, of course, and you have to be happy with the blurb, so ultimately, the decisions must be yours, but I fear you may be going off in the wrong direction.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of success.


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

Don't give up yet! We're so close now. Here's another take on the blurb, with more of Kylo's original blurb to punch it up.

_One drop of blood is all it takes to throw Jessica Mitchell's life into chaos.

She doesn't think much about the scratch on her arm during her normal day as an assistant cook at a New York pub, dreaming of running the kitchen. That changes when she's overtaken by nausea and chills on the way home and collapses in Central Park. She awakens hours later, the blue eyes of a handsome stranger gazing down at her, and reluctantly accepts his help. But when this man tells her the world isn't what she thinks it is, she can't believe he's anything but insane.

Craddock Daniels never planned on being a hero, but he's inexplicably drawn to the beautiful redhead from the park. He learns she's been changed against her will into one of his own kind--a semi-mortal humanoid species called the Mengliad. But Jessica is an abomination to those of Craddock's kind who believe in strict adherence to the purity of their species.

When these Mengliad Purists abduct Jessica and Craddock, she realizes she has no choice but to trust him--for now. She must rely on his knowledge if she wants to survive. And though Craddock is risking his very life by helping Jessica, he can't deny his attraction to this fiery young woman. Together, they must find a way to escape those who would annihilate them, or be utterly destroyed._

Personally, I don't like saying that Craddock is happy with his life the way it is. Saying "never planned on being a hero" implies that, but it has much more of a romance feel.

I've also changed the part in Kylo's blurb about Jessica putting herself in Craddock's hands. Romance heroines don't do that. They have agency.

I'm not sure whether "fiery young woman" is the right way to describe Jessica, so maybe another phrase could be used in its place. I'm also not sure about "semi-mortal" to describe the Mengliad, but I think it captures the fact that they live longer than humans and don't get sick.

Jana, I know you're afraid of revealing too much, but saying that the h/h have been abducted adds *so much tension* to the blurb. There's no need to keep that part secret. It tells the reader what kind of story it is, which helps sell books.


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## Tuttle (Jun 10, 2010)

That blurb sounds so much better to me!


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

Jana, everyone isn't cut out to be a marketing writer. That's okay. That's what Kboards is for. We're here to help. 

There is no "right" blurb, but we can help you make it better than it is now. It's important that you don't think of revision as a sign of failure. It's a process. It sounds to me as if you're putting too much pressure on yourself and setting your expectations too high. Consensus-building is a long and difficult process, and it's unlikely that we'll get to a point where everyone agrees on everything. That's okay. Ultimately, it's your book. 

Maybe now isn't the right time to work on this, especially if you're having panic attacks. I've been there - I know how debilitating they can be. It may also be that checking this thread so often throughout the day is having a negative effect. Maybe checking on it once a day would be better for you. That would also give us a chance to work through some of the details and have a better version to offer you so that we don't confuse you with so many different opinions.


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## katiemeyer (Oct 23, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Well, they kind of are, or at least Mengliads think so. That's actually talked about in the book. But no, that's not my problem with it. I don't like the punctuation in it, but I'm stuck for a way to fix it.
> 
> Better?


I like this!


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Feeling like a failure is definitely a trigger.


You do understand, I hope, that feeling like a failure is the depression talking, and depression lies.

I hope you feel better soon. It's good to hear that you're able to write a bit more!


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## 77071 (May 15, 2014)

I'm so sorry you've been having such stress and panic attacks. :-(

I hope you can take a break from the things that are bugging you (like this thread).

Also, I think we as writers get into the mindset that there is a perfect blurb out there.

*There isn't.* The perfect blurb is actually just the one that makes people want to pick it up. There is no perfect blurb for all people (because not everyone will want to pick up a book no matter how the blurb is written).

It may be like they say about parenting manuals: pick ONE book / method and try to follow it, but don't read too many or you'll feel hopelessly confused. 

I hope things improve, and I'm so sorry you've been feeling like a failure. There are so many ways you aren't, though, I hope you can see some of them. *hugs*


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

It's hard, I know. I can hear the frustration and hurt in your posts and it breaks my heart to see you at a point of wanting to give up. But you have come too far to stop, now. Blurb writing is hard, and it takes practice. You will get the hang of it, but it takes time, just as it took time to develop the writing skills you have to craft your stories.

You are a good writer. You're very good. I would hate to see you give up. But, you can let go ...let go, and let your friends here on KB take the reins on your blurb for you, _this time_. You can continue to study blurbology for future books, or maybe you won't have to. Maybe Mengliad and The Registry will start selling enough that you can hire a blurb writer. There is no rule that says we must write our own blurbs. And if there are not enough sales to justify outsourcing your blurbs, then come back here and let us help you.

For now, this blurb seems to be causing you so much stress, why not just let it go, run one of the blurbs the others have written, and see what happens. You can always change it back to your own if you don't see any results. I just hate seeing you so upset by it ...


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## Gina Black (Mar 15, 2011)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Feeling like a failure is definitely a trigger.


I am so there with you. So listen here...

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE.

Writing blurbs isn't a fair measure of success or failure. It's a particular skill set that can take for EVER to master or even just be adequate at. You might always need help with them and that's no big deal. It has nothing to do with failing. Would feel like you were failing if you opened the hood of a car and couldn't change the spark plugs or replace a fan belt or didn't even know what was wrong, only that it wouldn't go? Or would you feel like a success if you found a good mechanic to do it for you?

The first step was to determine where your book would be shelved in a bookstore. Since it has been established that it would go in the romance section, you've gotten a lot of advice about how to make it fit with the other books there: cover, blurb, title, keywords. PEOPLE REALLY LIKE YOUR BOOK (so you're not a failure...), but other people who would also enjoy it can't find it because it doesn't look like a romance. That's huge. Because no matter how good it is, a romance that's been shelved with sci-fi isn't going to do well. It's in the wrong place. Your readers can't find you.

I understand that disabilities can really mess with a person's independence, but sometimes in order to achieve a goal a person has to accept help. I fully believe that you will pay it forward when you can.

I'm sending hugs. (((Jana)))


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

I'm not just a failure

I am a faildragger

I failed and got dragged around


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

Jana, you haven't been taking 20 years of courses on writing blurbs. It's a very specific type of writing, and COMPLETELY different from the kind of writing that fiction authors tend to be good at. Most authors are TERRIBLE at writing blurbs for their books. You're in good company.

This article by Bob Mayer may help. He points out that author and promoter are opposite personality types. It's not realistic to expect to be good at both. Some people are, but they're either very practiced or very special. 
https://writeitforward.wordpress.com/tag/infj/

I understand that knowing you're not a failure and feeling you're not one are very different things. Depression is insidious that way. But at least awareness is a first step.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

> But which one? I'm kinda lost now. And won't it seem weird that book one and book two have blurb styles that are SO different?


Maybe poll the forum? Pick two or three of your favorite versions and start a fresh thread with a poll to see which one resonates with the majority of members?


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

I've done a bit of tweaking too -- this version is the best of the lot, IMO. The other version was getting too wordy.



> One drop of blood is all it takes to throw Jessica Mitchell's life into chaos.
> 
> She doesn't think much about the scratch on her arm during her day as an assistant cook at a New York pub, dreaming of running the kitchen. That changes when she's overtaken by nausea and chills on the way home and collapses in Central Park. She awakens hours later, the blue eyes of a handsome stranger gazing down at her, and reluctantly accepts his help. But when this man tells her the world isn't what she thinks it is, she can't believe he's anything but insane.
> 
> ...


Jana, perhaps you should take a couple of days off from this thread and your books. Come back next week and just pick one and put it up, see if it has any effect on sales. It doesn't have to be perfect. Since you have so few sales anyway, it's not like putting up several versions is going to hurt and you can view it like a test to see which one works best.

I know this is stressful but at some point, you just have to stop tweaking and go with one version. As to which one to choose, I hate to be crass, but I write paranormal romance and erotic romance and have been full-time at this since 2013. So far this year, I have earned $220K on my books. I've run successful Facebook ads that alone have increased my income by $40K in the past few months. At some point, you just have to trust someone knows what they're talking about and make a leap of faith.

Pick one version and put it up - either now or when you come back after taking a short break. Make sure you have the right categories. Once you have your books in KU, submit the first book to one free promotion website and run free days. See how it does. You can decide later if your product page and books need more tweaking, but for right now, I would suggest that at a minimum you tweak the blurb and categories and put it in KU. Run a promotion. That should give you some feedback on how things sit.

Doing nothing will mean that nothing happens to change your situation and you will be right where you started at the beginning of this thread when you posted at your wit's end.

I understand depression and its lying ways. It lies to you and tells you it's hopeless and you are a failure and worthless. I have lived with two family members who have major depression and I have suffered from anxiety disorder / panic disorder in the past so I know that the worst thing to do is just to throw up your hands and go back to what feels comfortable because that will make it worse. 

While you wait for things to shake out, focus on writing your next book and forget about sales for a while. Do the best you can given your limitations but don't let them limit you any more than possible.

That's all you can do, in the end.


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## Nova_Implosion (Jul 20, 2012)

I, too, hardly sell any books. I'm not being sarcastic here, but your numbers are actually pretty good (compared to mine). I've "looked inside" many books of successful authors on this site, and to be quite honest,  for the most part, what I saw, writing-wise, was pretty unimpressive. Logically, you would think the cream would rise to the top, but that's not always the case. Who knows why some books sell and others don't. (Genre, key words, guy with six-pack abs on the cover?) It's a complete mystery to me.


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

Nova_Implosion said:


> I, too, hardly sell any books. I'm not being sarcastic here, but your numbers are actually pretty good (compared to mine). I've "looked inside" many books of successful authors on this site, and to be quite honest, for the most part, what I saw, writing-wise, was pretty unimpressive. Logically, you would think the cream would rise to the top, but that's not always the case. Who knows why some books sell and others don't. (Genre, key words, guy with six-pack abs on the cover?) It's a complete mystery to me.


That's totally true. Quality and sales do not necessarily go hand in hand. That is small comfort if you are not selling.

Of course, people have different notions of what constitutes "quality". What counts, in the end, is whether your book has an audience and whether you can get your book in front of that audience. That is the trick and unfortunately, there is no magic formula or way to predict what will sell. Even the Big 5 publishers with all their editors and marketers don't know for certain what is going to sell when it comes to a particular book. They take the spaghetti approach to sales and throw everything out there and see what sticks. Then, they back the ones that sell. They back known sellers.

It's nearly impossible to predict what books will sell and what books won't. However, there is one particular reason why some books sell. They have and find their audience. Finding a book's audience is a complex of factors -- cover, blurb, keywords, categories, preview, story, buzz, word of mouth, visibility, promotion.

If a book or author is not selling books, they have to look at all those factors and start to tweak until they find whatever combination of factors gets their books in front of the right audience. If there is an audience for a book, finding it is key. If you have a potential audience and can find it, the audience will decide whether the book is "good" and will shell out their money for it.

Some books don't have much of an audience and will languish in the ranks. Some authors with books that have a potential audience don't know how to get a book with an audience in front of it.

Some books take off right out of the gate and make their authors bank.

The only truism is that if you do nothing, nothing will happen for all but the very rarest of books.


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## EC Sheedy (Feb 24, 2011)

I really am not one to give advice (_Please to ignore my family laughing in the background_!), but I have to say I think you're a tower of strength, Jana, to have read and embraced the myriad opinions presented on this thread. So many voices, well-meaning as they are, can be terribly confusing and eventually freeze the brain matter.

As for my advice--after the requisite DO. NOT. QUIT. suggestion--is listen to Sela.


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

EC Sheedy said:


> Listen to Sela.


THIS.

Go with Sela's latest version of the blurb and see what happens.


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## Tuttle (Jun 10, 2010)

I really like Sela's latest version of the blurb - and I see a lot of your blurb writing in there, just with tweaking from others to help you.


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## Crystal_ (Aug 13, 2014)

I don't think there is much relationship between most people's definition of good writing and sales. Readers want entertainment and most of them are not having torrid love affairs with prose. I wish I could ignore my inner editor and read books with bad prose, because some of them have great concepts. But I can't. I don't know if it was my years as a tutor or if it's just my natural love of language, but bad writing makes me sad.

I try not to focus on things I don't like. Life is too short and I dislike too many things.

I could point you to two of my books/series. One sells much better than the other. They are both well written with good covers and blurbs. In fact, the one that doesn't sell has better blurbs. But it doesn't conform to what genre readers want, so it doesn't move copies. It is what it is when you're trying to make money.

Sela,

Any chance you're willing to share some sick Facebook ad tips with us? Those are impressive results. My first Facebook ad attempt didn't do much. You are welcome to PM me if you don't want to share publically.


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

Crystal_ said:


> Sela,
> 
> Any chance you're willing to share some sick Facebook ad tips with us? Those are impressive results. My first Facebook ad attempt didn't do much. You are welcome to PM me if you don't want to share publically.


Five words: Mark Dawson's Self Publishing Formula!

I actually watched his videos on how to create a Facebook ad for a boxed set and stopped the video, followed the instruction, turned the video back on, watched the next step, stopped the video, and so on until I was finished. My first ad was successful and returned around 350 - 400% ROI. I created another ad for a boxed set for my low-selling series and sales went up by an outlandish percent. I made more $$ on that set and series in three months than the entire two years since I published the series. It was astounding.

Here are the results for my 3 boxed sets before and after the ad, which started in April 2015: (the small piece of the pie chart was my most recent boxed set which I started to advertise at the end of July)



The video course is free and I would highly recommend it to anyone who has a boxed set to sell. For a successful ad, you need to know your audience, you need to know what books are comparable to yours, and you need to have a good image and hooky description and headline. Of course, it helps to be in the romance or thriller genres since they tend to have voracious readers who like series and boxed sets. Some genres are a harder sell.


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## C. Gockel (Jan 28, 2014)

Jana,

In your shoes, I would definitely do KU. I don't know if you go direct, but if you go through Smashwords or Draft2Digital just go and unclick. It's pretty easy. Sometimes it takes weeks, but sometimes it doesn't, Patty Jensen's books were all down in days if I recall right.

Then click the box for KU in KDP publishing. Do this as soon as possible, while you are still in the first 30 days for the second in series.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

Sela said:


> Five words: Mark Dawson's Self Publishing Formula!


Yes! I am going through it right now and it is fantastic. Thank you for sharing your graphs. That is an impressive return.


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## katiemeyer (Oct 23, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> It does. Except for in my case, it's mostly true.


No. You are a human being, and, in my personal belief, made in the image of God. You have dignity just as you are. You are valuable.


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## Crystal_ (Aug 13, 2014)

Thanks, Sela. Sorry to get the thread off course. There is definitely a point here about the trial and error needed for publishing. It's easy to get overwhelmed by it.


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> Will I sound like a horrible, ungrateful cretin if I say that I have a few issues with it? I'm not trying to be difficult, and I'm probably wrong, since I clearly suck at this, but there are a few sentences that make my brain twitch. But if I tweak them, I'm sure I'll do it wrong. So... now what?
> 
> My problem is that I trust EVERYONE. And then info starts to contradict. But I do trust you. It's obvious by the covers you made for me and the stats you posted that you have this well and truly figured out. I don't. So of course I'm happy to follow where you will lead. But following blindly is difficult for me. Not because I know better, but because I've been burned before.
> 
> And that sounds like I expect you to burn me. I don't. But when one gets burned as many times as I have, one tends to proceed cautiously. Ya know?


TLR:

You don't have to follow my advice. Others have agreed that you need to do something. Doing nothing means nothing will change. _At a minimum _put your books in KU as they are and run a promotion to get your books some visibility. Someone posted a link to the list of free book promotion sites. Pick a couple and give it a try.

That will likely get you some borrows and maybe some sales which would give you a boost in confidence. That may give you the boost you need to help finish book 3.



The long version:

You can be a great storyteller and a terrible marketer. Don't feel bad that you haven't got it all figured out. Most authors don't when they start out and it's a steep learning curve. Think of it this way -- since your sales are low or non-existent, you have nothing to lose by giving your books a few tweaks or a complete makeover. Your books will still be the same, but the presentation will be -- hopefully -- more effective in getting your books more visible.

As to the blurb and the angst about it, it really doesn't matter if one or two words are misplaced or don't feel right. You are going for an overall effect. The average reader is not nearly as obsessive about your blurb as you are. You need something that catches the potential reader's interest and gets them to click on your preview so they can sample your work -- or even better, click purchase based on the blurb and cover alone. You need a hook, in other words. I think the blurb lacks a hook the way it currently is. I think the new blurb has a hook in it that might work better.

I don't think the problem is your blurb, frankly, although it could be improved, and so all the stress about the blurb is misplaced and a waste of energy.

I think the problem was that your previous covers got you behind the 8-ball. I'm sorry to say it, but they were not at all competitive with what was on offer in the market and probably got you off to a bad start from which even 5-star reviews could not overcome.

A book needs to get some velocity beneath it in order to get the attention of Amazon algorithms. That velocity comes from sales and reviews. I think you need about 20 reviews to get notice from Amazon algorithms. Once Amazon algorithms see some sales and reviews, Amazon internal marketing starts and gets you visibility and more purchases and more reviews and so on. Momentum builds on itself.

While the new covers are better, they still don't give the right genre signals in my view. Someone looking for a paranormal or fantasy or SF romance would not get the right signal from your covers. So someone who might actually enjoy your books wouldn't even stop to read the blurb as a result if the book showed up on a list. People are _that_ affected by covers.

I really think getting new covers that are genre appropriate and stand out will make all the difference. The reason I picked the SF Romance book I posted earlierwas because it is selling so well and it is beautiful vs. looking like all the other SF and Paranormal Romance books with bare male torsos.  Not that there's anything wrong with bare male torsos! I have a few on my books. In the end, you don't have to go with my covers, but you need something that signals the potential reader that your books are what they are looking for. While nice, your current covers don't do that IMO.

I think your keywords and categories could be improved as well, but others have already chimed in on those. They get you in the right places and associated with the right books and can help with visibility.

Finally, the long gap between releases probably hurt sales of Book 1 and 2 since readers of Book 1 may have forgotten about it and not been around to learn about Book 2. Some people would maybe not take a chance on book 1 in case there was no Book 2 or Book 3. I know that was beyond your control, but it in large part explains the lack of sales.

This doesn't mean that all is lost!

Not by a long shot, although there are no guarantees. You could improve everything -- new covers, new blurbs, keywords, category, put it in KU and run a few promotions and your books still may sell slowly. However, doing nothing would most definitely result in continued low or non-existant sales. Sales are not magically going to pick up without effort, either through promotions or tweaks to metadata, covers, etc. -- most likely both.

At this point, IMO, the most important things for you to do are, in order or importance:

1. New covers
2. Proper keywords and categories
3. New hooky blurb
4. Get a mailing list and put links in the front of your books and put a CTA at the end of Book 1 for Book 2 and one promising Book 3 at the end of Book 2.
5. Put your books in KU
6. Run a promo (either a Kindle Countdown promo or a free run in conjunction with a free promo) for Book 1, and then watch the results and reassess, tweak further, etc.

The most important thing overall for your career and for the series' health is to write book 3 and get the series finished. Given that you write slowly, it would be wise to do the above while you are writing it. Maybe if you can find a bigger audience, and if you start selling better, you will be encouraged to finish Book 3 more quickly. Having a finished series will help by encouraging those readers who like to wait for the series to be complete before buying.

Anyway, you can give up or you can try something new. I'd go with trying something new. 

Finally, and most importantly, Indie publishing is the long game. A book is always new to someone who has not seen it yet so it doesn't matter that you published book 1 in 2009. It doesn't matter that book 2 didn't get published until last year. Tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to reach new readers who have never seen your books and so they are brand spanking new to them. I find that encouraging.

That's why you should be encouraged by the chance to makeover your books.


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> I am! I'm just overwhelmed.
> 
> If you're still willing to do the covers... Would they also be for paperback? Would there be a way to work out the third cover as well? That seems like an awfully big imposition.
> 
> Evenstar said she'd help with the keywords, but I'm not sure how to do the categories. I could probably figure it out by clicking around or something, but which categories am I putting it in? I'm assuming romance for sure, but... Paranormal? Fantasy?


I know you are overwhelmed and I wish I could do all this for you! 

I have to purchase rights for the photos, and am in the process of doing so. License rights for the first image is being requested but the other image for book 2 is ready to go. As to print layouts, I will need the blurbs from your existing print books and will do a layout for each. I am in the midst of finishing my new book so I will work on it in between writing sessions. We could certainly do a third cover if it would act as a muse-stimulant for you to write it. 

I think, given that there is no real science in your book such as clear evidence that the Mengliad are aliens, or any science or futuristic setting, I would go with romance / fantasy and romance / paranormal and then use keywords to get your book into SF Romance as well because there might be some crossover readers. I would defer to Evenstar for she is the expert on keywords!

I actually enjoy this whole process. I'm a planner by trade an worked in project management for a while so I like the whole project nature of packaging a book. In fact, I enjoy this stuff almost as much as I enjoy writing books.


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## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

JanaOnWheels said:


> I'm appreciative of the help I've received, but I was hoping that with this help, I'd FINALLY figure out what the heck it is I'm supposed to do. I can't ask Kylo or anyone else to write all my blurbs for me. And if I use his blurb (accented with others' contributions) for this book, but don't know how to write them for the other books... then what?
> 
> And if I can't figure out how to do it 'right', then I might as well just keep the blurbs I have now.


Jana, this line of thought makes no sense to me.

You're writing just one series. _Mengliad _is the funnel into that series. If_ Mengliad _doesn't prompt readers to give your work a try, nothing else will: it's the one entry point. So _Megliad _is where having an outstanding blurb counts. If the rest of your books' blurbs aren't so strong, it matters less, because most people make series purchasing decisions based on the book they've just read, not on the blurb of the next in line.

Given the importance of the blurb for a first in series, many people hire professional blurb writers to get it just right. Unfortunately, you can't afford to do that. But fortuitously, you've been _given _two professional-quality blurbs. One of them was written by someone who is making hundreds of thousands of dollars writing in your genre, which is as strong an objective signal of trustworthiness as you can get. The other one seems to me equally good. Either would be a major improvement over what you have. You can choose one or try them both.

This situation says nothing about you as a person. It has no larger meaning or importance. For some reason, you're making it be _about you_, but it's not about you. It's simply the very ordinary act of getting a professional blurb for your book, something many of us do because we're not great at writing them but know they're extremely important. That's it.


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## Rue Hirsch (May 4, 2014)

Hi, just coming out of lurking to say that I really like Sela's covers better. They express the paranormal aspect of Jana's stories more than the current covers. The new blurbs being played with are also an improvement, though I'm not sure which one(s) I like best.

Jana: if I were a reader browsing through my Kindle looking for a paranormal romance to read, your books would slip by me. Three things:

-the title is evasive. I have no idea what Mengliad is and it doesn't catch me. It doesn't strike that twang in my chest that says "ooh! let me take a look in there!" 

-the cover is not comparable to others in the genre. I've followed your previous thread on this same problem with your books, so I understand that your funds are limited (totally understand that btw, know you're not alone in that). A lot of folks here have already discussed the books needing new covers with you, so I'll just say that they don't grab my attention.

-the blurb, I believe, is the least of your problems. Yes, it can be improved and definitely do that if you can because it can only help things, right? But it is a bit vague. Give me details on what's going to happen!

I'm new to this game myself so I can only say that--if I were looking to buy paranormal romance--your presentation isn't telling me that there's an awesome story inside that book waiting for me. I want a presentation that calls to me, is interesting, and promises not to let me go. If your title, cover, and blurb can lure me in then I can have faith that your story will be worthwhile. 

Another thing: if you decide to start fresh (I really like Evenstar's post here, it's gold) then make those changes...and LET IT GO. Write the next book. Hell, write a short piece of fiction that ties into these books and THEN write the next novel. Keep writing, no matter what. Ultimately, the more books you have out, the better you will feel. Yes, it sucks seeing your masterpieces languishing in obscurity, but writing books is a labor of love. Five years later you've grown as a person, shifted, you have more to offer the literary world. 

If you're going to give up on anything, give up on those books after you've made changes and continue to write. Please, never ever give up on that.


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## Rupam (Aug 3, 2015)

JanaOnWheels said:


> At what point do you just throw up your hands and say, "That's it. I'm done." ??


*Never.*
_Unless_ deep down I don't really enjoy it the most.


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## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

JanaOnWheels said:


> That makes sense. I just thought it might seem weird if the blurbs were SO different.


Will people go back and forth between the books, comparing the blurbs? I really don't think this is going to be an issue.



JanaOnWheels said:


> It's a little about me. Because of my inability to learn this, my choices are A) hire someone - something I cannot afford to do, or B) beg someone to do it for free - something I would really rather not do.
> 
> I like being as self sufficient as possible.


Yeah, don't we all. <shrug> We're not all good at everything.

That said, I suspect blurbing is something you'll improve on over time. For now, you've lucked into a professional one for _Mengliad_, which is terrific. Just make the most of the windfall and keep working on the skill over time, in a less pressured environment.



JanaOnWheels said:


> I thought the title might be intriguing, but okay. Apparently, the title is a no-go. So what should I change it to? It's been Mengliad, or THE Mengliad since its conception, thirteen years ago. I've never imagined any other name for it, so I really have no clue what would work better. Well, I have one idea, but it's probably wrong.
> 
> Also, changing it sounds like it would be VERY hard to do. I remember it being a major pain when all I did was drop the 'The' from it! And I really, REALLY don't want to launch it as a new book. Mostly because I don't want to lose my reviews.


I don't think I'd change the title. You might consider making your series title more descriptive, so browsers can get a clue as to genre. Instead of just "The Mengliad Series, Book 1," you could end up with "The Mengliad Paranormal Romance Series, Book 1." Or, you could add a subtitle, and end up with something like _Mengliad: A Paranormal Romance_. I took the former of these two options when I realized I'd given my book a title and cover that didn't make the genre clear.


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## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

JanaOnWheels said:


> If memory serves (not that it tends to serve me well), the series name wasn't too much of a hassle. That might be easier to change. I have no problem adding a subtitle, but have no clue how difficult or possible it is to do so.


There's a separate field for the subtitle on the KDP dashboard, just like for the series title.

Technically, if you have a subtitle, it should also appear on the book's cover, but Amazon has not been enforcing that rigidly, thus far.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

I can definitely understand wanting to be self-sufficient. But being self-sufficient doesn't necessarily mean doing everything yourself. I consider myself very self-sufficient. I have a good career and I own my own home. I maintain it inside and out, mostly by myself, but when a pipe breaks, I call a plumber. And if money is tight, and a friend who understands plumbing offers to help, I'll take it. That says nothing about me except that I am not a plumber. 

Very few people are good at all the different parts of this business. Or any business, for that matter. I once worked with a man who was a brilliant marketing consultant, whose client list included a lot of Fortune 100 companies. You would recognize most of those companies. But he was a terrible typist, so he dictated his reports and sent them to a transcriptionist who typed them up for him. He couldn't type to save his own life, but he was still brilliant. 

Some of the most successful people I know outsource a lot of their work to others. I know budget is an issue for you, right now, but you have a small army of friends here who are willing to be your outsourcing team so you can get your book selling. In the future, once the money is coming in, you can outsource. There is no shame in that. You are a writer, and a good one. Focus on that.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

> I thought the title might be intriguing, but okay. Apparently, the title is a no-go. So what should I change it to? It's been Mengliad, or THE Mengliad since its conception, thirteen years ago. I've never imagined any other name for it, so I really have no clue what would work better. Well, I have one idea, but it's probably wrong.


I like the title. I wouldn't change it, but I would add a subtitle. Something that would help the reader identify what "Mengliad" means or what it is.


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## ElHawk (Aug 13, 2012)

Jana, I wish I had the time to read through all 10 pages of this thread, but unfortunately I don't. Therefore, somebody has probably already brought this up, and I'm repeating someone else's advice/observation. But just in case I'm not repeating what's already been said: you published your first book 5.5 years ago, and your second book one year ago. 4.5 years between releases is far too long to retain readers. You will find more success in retaining readers and building brand loyalty if you speed up your production.

I know that's not always easy, given day jobs and family and other commitments. But you don't have to write at blazing speed to hit a tighter production schedule than 4+ years between releases. If you aim for at least one novel per year, you should be able to retain more readers. One every six or even nine months would retain an even greater percentage of your audience.

There's a lot of competition out there, and you have to find some way of remaining fresh in your audience's collective memory. Publishing books as often as you can humanly manage is the best way to do that.


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## ElHawk (Aug 13, 2012)

Sela said:


> Five words: Mark Dawson's Self Publishing Formula!


My husband recently started as my assistant, with his primary function to schedule and manage promotions/ads. His first assignment was to go through Mark Dawson's course very thoroughly and to take copious notes.  I've heard it's pretty killer. Can't wait to start playing with Mark's advice next week!


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## Jessie Jasen (May 30, 2015)

ElHawk said:


> My husband recently started as my assistant, with his primary function to schedule and manage promotions/ads. His first assignment was to go through Mark Dawson's course very thoroughly and to take copious notes.  I've heard it's pretty killer. Can't wait to start playing with Mark's advice next week!


I need a husband like that &#8230; LOL 

Have you tried Nick Stephenson's method?


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## Gina Black (Mar 15, 2011)

JanaOnWheels said:


> It's a little about me. Because of my inability to learn this, my choices are A) hire someone - something I cannot afford to do, or B) beg someone to do it for free - something I would really rather not do.
> 
> I like being as self sufficient as possible.


Most people do! I imagine that you are more sensitive than most to this because of the limitations you've alluded to. HOWEVER, what's happening here is you are being given a leg up. EVERYONE needs a leg up at times. The hope is that by making these changes your sales will increase and that will put you in a more independent position. Right now you just aren't and it's clear that left to your own devices you don't have a strong sense of what to do. I say go with Sela (as you are doing) because she does know your market and she's very successful at it.

Once your sales are increasing, once your third book is out, you will be able to afford to contract out the work of covers and blurbs if you need or want. Until then, it's a good time to find out what does work so that you have a better sense of it.

Once your books start to find your readers things will be more apparent to you. Watch the new categories (romance/fantasy and romance/paranormal) and see what books are in the top 100 (i.e. what attracts readers). What do the covers look like? How do the blurbs read? What are the prices? Etc. That's how you will educate yourself, not just by having to make your way through the myriad suggestions in this thread.


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## ElHawk (Aug 13, 2012)

Jessie Jasen said:


> I need a husband like that ... LOL
> 
> Have you tried Nick Stephenson's method?


No! I'll have to look it up and send it over to Paul if it looks promising.


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## ElHawk (Aug 13, 2012)

JanaOnWheels said:


> It has been addressed, yes. I have multiple disabilities due to multiple illnesses and due to an auto vs. pedestrian accident in where I was was the pedestrian. It's not a matter of laziness, or not being able to find the time to write. There are days where I literally can't write. It's sometimes even hard to think. I do the best I can, but my best is far below substandard compared to what others can achieve, unfortunately.


Man, that sucks.

For the record, I don't think writers who finish books slowly are lazy! Not at all. It's just really hard to juggle everything we HAVE to do in day-to-day life let alone the things we WANT to do like writing books.

Have you tried Dragon voice-recognition software? I've used it quite a bit, just to see what it was like, and I actually like it quite a lot. If physical pain keeps you from sitting at a desk/typing, this might be a good solution for you.


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

ElHawk said:


> Have you tried Dragon voice-recognition software? I've used it quite a bit, just to see what it was like, and I actually like it quite a lot. If physical pain keeps you from sitting at a desk/typing, this might be a good solution for you.


Good suggestion. The Dragon app is free, and you can email the text to yourself.


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## sela (Nov 2, 2014)

JanaOnWheels said:


> When I said I can't write, I didn't mean in the physical, sitting at a keyboard sense, although physical issues are a big part of my reality. I meant that I can't create. My brain gets foggy, and words become difficult to grasp. I could talk into a program that translates what I say into type, but those words would be gibberish/garbage.


Jana, have you looked at The Artist's Way? I think it might help you write more freely -- or at least, it's worth a try. I read someone offered to gift you a copy and I would be all over that offer.  My niece who suffers from major depression and anxiety disorder uses it and is currently writing, so I know it can help. It is used in psychotherapy so I would recommend it!


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## Jessie Jasen (May 30, 2015)

JanaOnWheels said:


> When I said I can't write, I didn't mean in the physical, sitting at a keyboard sense, although physical issues are a big part of my reality. I meant that I can't create. My brain gets foggy, and words become difficult to grasp. I could talk into a program that translates what I say into type, but those words would be gibberish/garbage.


Are you on medication? If yes, is there any way to get off it?


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## Jessie Jasen (May 30, 2015)

JanaOnWheels said:


> No, I can't get off my meds. If I do I will die.


Anti-depressants?


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## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

Just to add a note of encouragement, it is possible to sell books and find an audience despite being a slow writer. Almost three years went by between my first and second novels, but the second one has nevertheless moved copies. I'm nowhere near replacing my day job, but the book has made an amount of money that's definitely meaningful to my family (about $14,000 so far). I think it's a decent book. That's got to be the foundation. But beyond that, Kboards is the source of most of the success -- either I followed or adapted advice I found here (build a mailing list, cultivate a social media presence, use permafree, adjust keywords, outline the next one, etc.), or people here directly helped me, out of the goodness of their hearts (with Fb mentions and tweets, with a rewritten blurb, with boxed sets, with my copyright fiasco ... with a lot).

Let people help, the way they helped me.

And there's plenty to be hopeful about. Yeah, being slow makes it harder, but it's not a writing-career death sentence.


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## Jessie Jasen (May 30, 2015)

Agree 100% with Becca and will add that letting others help is the beginning of the end of depression. 
We can't do without one another.


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## EC Sheedy (Feb 24, 2011)

Re that tagline or subtitle thing...  I'm one who has no problem with MENGLIAD as a title, although a hint at what the word means probably would be helpful. 

Mengliad - not quite human 
Mengliad - they live among us
Mengliad - others among us
Mengliad - almost human

Okay, they're probably all bad, but the idea might be helpful. Or not.


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## NoBlackHats (Oct 17, 2012)

If memory serves, there were a lot of excellent suggestions on the previous thread: http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,202091.0.html


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## Gina Black (Mar 15, 2011)

JanaOnWheels said:


> I was thinking of something like:
> 
> Title: Mengliad
> Subtitle: The Changing
> ...


I like it. Adding "The Changing" makes it more dynamic, hints of conflict and what Mengliad could be. I.e. it functions more as a hook and I'd be more likely to click and find out what it's hinting at.


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## Rue Hirsch (May 4, 2014)

Becca Mills said:


> Will people go back and forth between the books, comparing the blurbs? I really don't think this is going to be an issue.
> Instead of just "The Mengliad Series, Book 1," you could end up with "The Mengliad Paranormal Romance Series, Book 1." Or, you could add a subtitle, and end up with something like _Mengliad: A Paranormal Romance_.


^Yes. A title that remains your own but adds clarity, genre, and says "hey, this is what I like to read" if you're into paranormal romance.


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## vlmain (Aug 10, 2011)

EC Sheedy said:


> Re that tagline or subtitle thing... I'm one who has no problem with MENGLIAD as a title, although a hint at what the word means probably would be helpful.
> 
> Mengliad - not quite human
> Mengliad - they live among us
> ...


Agree. The subtitle should help the reader better define the title/story. The Changing would be too vague and it doesn't help to define what Mengliad means, but the examples EC posted do help the reader identify Mengliad as a species of some kind.


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## EC Sheedy (Feb 24, 2011)

Gina Black said:


> I like it. Adding "The Changing" makes it more dynamic, hints of conflict and what Mengliad could be. I.e. it functions more as a hook and I'd be more likely to click and find out what it's hinting at.


I like it, too.


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## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

JanaOnWheels said:


> I wouldn't call those bad!
> 
> I was thinking of something like:
> 
> ...


I'm not sure "The Changing" would add a whole lot, but I really like "The Mengliad Fantasy Romance Series" as a series title. I think that will help.


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## WordNinja (Jun 26, 2014)

Becca Mills said:


> I'm not sure "The Changing" would add a whole lot, but I really like "The Mengliad Fantasy Romance Series" as a series title. I think that will help.


I think that what "The Changing" adds is that it distinguishes the novel title from the series title. It also hints a bit at what the story is about, and gives it more of a fantasy feel. It works!


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## katiemeyer (Oct 23, 2014)

Just to add to what people said, beinga  good writer and writing blurbs have nothing to do with each other. I assure you, my publisher writes my blurbs. I have NOTHING to do with them. Thank goodness, because I would be terrible. 

And I'll tell you a secret, I don't really love the ones the publisher writes, BUT...they know what sells. What works in a blurb is different than what works in a story. It's an advertisement, not an example of fine storytelling. And that's okay.


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