# Gift for our nephew



## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

OK, it's time to pick your brains for a possible gift idea for our nephew who lives in N. Ireland.  We have 2 nephews here in the US and never had a bit of trouble finding the perfect gifts, but our newbie in the UK is a new breed.

Last Christmas was Mathew's first (born in Jan '0.  We sent over an Elmo doll (Tickle Me, I think).  Well, we were told he was afraid of it (and the big bad Elmo has been stuffed in a closet ever since for fear he may cry again).  For his 1st birthday we sent a talking Tonka fire truck (for 1 year olds) and were told he was afraid of it and so they gave it away.  He liked a different Tonka truck instead.  Over the summer we felt so bad about him not liking any of our gifts so far we sent a beginner Leggo set we were told would be perfect for his age.  Nope, didn't work.  We were told he didn't like them and threw them all away.

We are at wits end as what to do for this year's Christmas & birthday gifts.  We are pretty tight right now with our finances (I've been out of work and had medical things) and so we hate to buy then ship stuff over that will be thrown away or stuffed in a closet.  I also hate to send a gift certificate as when we have done that in the past my in-laws bought something so hideously cheap we wondered if they didn't spend the rest on themselves.  We are told he is very advanced for his age (but I wonder if that's what everyone is told about every kid on this Earth?).

Does anyone have any ideas??


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

Have you talked to his parents about specific things he likes or dislikes?  Color and texture may be a problem.  Also, you might consider buying from an Irish firm rather than buying yourself and shipping.


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

scarlet said:


> Have you talked to his parents about specific things he likes or dislikes? Color and texture may be a problem. Also, you might consider buying from an Irish firm rather than buying yourself and shipping.


Been there, done that. We kinda went by what they said he liked when we got our gifts. I bought the original Tonka stuff from amazon.co.uk and shipped from there. NI stuff always costs a ton because of the shitty exchange for dollars, plus the shipping from mainland UK. Amazon lost the order, said it was sent, took money from our account, but they never received and I guess the UK branch of Amazon isn't quite as accommodating. We never got the thing sorted and so ended up buying the same things here and shipped them ourselves.

Thanks for the advice. His grandparents (my in-laws) are in Florida from Sept.-Dec. and Mathew and his parents will be there for 3-4 weeks sometime in there. We thought it would be a good idea to do the shopping early and then just ship to Florida so they can either exchange or bring home with them, but we keep getting shot down with that idea.

I'm ready to send a gift certificate, but again with the exchange rate we get screwed.


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

I agree, take advantage of when they're in the States, that sounds like a good idea.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Picture books?  It's what I always bought the grandkids in the hopes that they would become readers.  (The girls, yes, the boys, no.)

(And I wouldn't necessarily stress too much, kids can be hard to figure plus they change quickly at that age.  Remember, it's the thought that counts.)

Betsy


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

How about a quilt? You can make it. Simple ones are best for that age, maybe an *I Spy* one.. there are tons of theme fabrics out there and you could make a child size one in a weekend (a day if you know how to sew).


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Send the kid a t-shirt that says, "My aunt lives in sunny Arizona and all I got was this stupid t-shirt."

Sorry, he sounds like a spoiled brat which seems a little amazing since he's not even two! Throwing out Legos? Giving away Tonka toys? Keeping Elmo in the closet because of fear he might cry again? Jeesh.

I wouldn't waste a whole lot of money or time, given what you have described. Maybe when mom and dad learn how to be gracious, you can revise your thinking/game plan.

L


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## rho (Feb 12, 2009)

what Leslie said - I was thinking the same thing but she put it much better than I ever would have ...


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## Bren S. (May 10, 2009)

How about starting a savings account for him, and putting Birthday and Christmas money in it ?

I realize it is not a "hands on" gift, but sounds like it might be a good possible option?


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## m&amp;m (Mar 14, 2009)

I agree with Sugar.  A savings account sounds like a great idea.  It is something that he will eventually appreciate, and won't be given away or shoved in a closet.  It sounds like you might have a tough time pleasing the parents of this child more than the child himself!


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

I will say that our experience in giving talking toys to our granddaughter when she was 1 was not a good one...she was also scared and it went in the closet until she was older.  Some kids ARE more timid than others.

Betsy


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Picture books? It's what I always bought the grandkids in the hopes that they would become readers. (The girls, yes, the boys, no.)
> (And I wouldn't necessarily stress too much, kids can be hard to figure plus they change quickly at that age. Remember, it's the thought that counts.)
> Betsy


Might be a good idea, plus easy to pack. I'm sure a pop-up book would be way too much for his little timid soul.


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

BTackitt said:


> How about a quilt? You can make it. Simple ones are best for that age, maybe an *I Spy* one.. there are tons of theme fabrics out there and you could make a child size one in a weekend (a day if you know how to sew).


Great idea, but no sewing machine.....hmmmm, maybe an idea for my gift


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

Leslie & rho - I am beginning to think whatever we get is going to be the wrong thing.  I don't think they understand that it ends up costing us 3 times as much.  My hubby's sis is kinda the taker in the family and not so good about giving.  For Stephen's 40th b-day we were all in Florida and he wanted to do nothing but go to a kart track and race and then go out for sushi.  His sis kept insisting we go to TGI Fridays (a place we do not like).  They ended up going out at around 10 am to do a bit of shopping, we waited for them and they didn't return until after 7pm saying they were headed to TGIF.  He was handed an unwrapped picture frame with a Target clearance $4.98 sticker still on it.  We ended up going karting by ourselves, then to a nice sushi place.  We felt bad and thought that maybe they were doing something special for him at TGIF, but when we arrived there they had just been drinking beer the whole time.  We should have learned our lesson.  Last Christmas we sent them hand-blown wine decanter, bottle stoppers and glasses (for an ungodly amount of money) and for our gift we received a $25 gift certificate to AMC movie theaters (they kind you find in grocery stores) for the 2 of us.

Sugar & m&m - we started a savings account for Mathew when he was first born and make sure they know we are adding to it.  Of course, the response we got was that they had several people doing this already and they figured our banks were going under anyway.

So, I am a little sore about gift-giving with them.  My family is the opposite - we seek the best gifts for everyone and make a big deal about every birthday and holiday. I just hate to not get our nephew a wonderful gift.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

I can understand why you are sore about gift giving with them. I sure would be!

Okay, here's another approach. Decide on something and have that be your "signature" gift that your nephew always knows he'll receive from his aunt. My aunts did this with me (they did it with all of the nieces and nephews, I'm sure). Two of my aunts always gave me a book and they were always great books -- Caldecott winners, Newbury medal books, etc. I could kick myself now that I didn't keep them all since I am sure they were first editions of great books: A Wrinkle in Time, Island of the Blue Dolphins, Up a Road Slowly, etc. etc. When I was real little it wasn't so exciting but as I got older and I realized what great books they were, I looked forward to them. My third aunt always gave an article of clothing--usually something like a scarf and mittens, really nice socks, Lanz nightgown, etc. 

The advantage of a book is that you have fun picking it out and for this shipping issue, it is generally small and not going to cost a fortune.

L


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

There was a friend of my parents whose birthday gift to me every year when I was a kid was a new pair of PF Flyers.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

There are a lot of timeless books in very nice editions, and they'll all be new to him.    

And you can inscribe it from Auntie....

Later on, you can switch to iTunes cards like we do with the teenage grandkids...it's all they want.  

Betsy


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## Maxx (Feb 24, 2009)

I agree with the picture book idea. I even have a suggestion for a little child. They are called I Spy books. They have board books for little ones and then harder ones for older kids. My kids loved them. There are quite a few board books to choose from but here is my suggestion for Christmas:



Maxx


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## Cowgirl (Nov 1, 2008)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> I will say that our experience in giving talking toys to our granddaughter when she was 1 was not a good one...she was also scared and it went in the closet until she was older. Some kids ARE more timid than others.
> 
> Betsy


My granddaughter is the same...no talking stuffed animals. 
Her 2 favorite toys are gender neutral and are from Fisher Price...One is an MP3 player where you load on stories and music. You can buy headphones for it or use the speakers. In the car she loves it and she feels like a big girl. Her other favorite is the FP digital camera. They take their own pictures and can save or delete the pictures and even print them off the computer. Both aren't that much money. 
I have one more thought which is a little more money ...FP now has a very durable portable DVD player which is great for the car and long rides. 
Kids love electronics...even the young ones. Can't go wrong with Fisher Price quality...IMO


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Be careful with electronics:  sometimes what you get in the US is not compatible with waht's available in the UK. . . .


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## Cowgirl (Nov 1, 2008)

The fisher price electronics are all by battery


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## Andra (Nov 19, 2008)

F1Wild, you are a GREAT Aunt!  I think I would agree with the other suggestions and send age-appropriate books.  Even if they are a bit advanced for him, he can always read them later.
And don't pay any attention to what Mommy and Daddy say - the gifts are for your nephew, not them.


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

Thank you all for your suggestions.  I didn't want to come across as just a bitchy aunt.  We are truly frustrated and drawing blanks again for gift ideas.  I like the idea of the Fisher-price electronics (as we are big time into music!), but am not sure if even these versions might be too much for an almost 2 year old (even if we are told he is a genius, as all kids are to their grandparents).  I also love the idea of books.  I'm wondering if there is such a thing as an official kids' book of the year list, broken down into age groups.  We could get him a slew of them each year.  The ones I've seen so far seem to have the same books as many other years.

Again - thanks so much!!


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

F1, do you write? You could write a special book about him, for him. There are places out there for personalized books, run about $15-$20. When my oldest son (now almost 1 was 2 we bought him a personalized version of Noah's ark, and DH taped himself reading it. We gave that to our son for his B-day, and it became his favorite book for YEARS. We also gave him a FP cassette player so he could play the tape.
I think (man I hope) we still have this in a box somewhere saved for when he has kids. (honest I dunno though.. we have moved SOOOOOOOOOO very many times since he was 2..... I just counted.. 9 moves.)


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## marianneg (Nov 4, 2008)

F1Wild said:


> I like the idea of the Fisher-price electronics (as we are big time into music!), but am not sure if even these versions might be too much for an almost 2 year old (even if we are told he is a genius, as all kids are to their grandparents).


No, he'll love them. DD has had an FP piano since the Christmas before she turned two, and she loved it. My twin nephews got a music table type thing before age one, and they loved that, too. The twins have FP MP3 players now - one with classical music and one with kids' songs.


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## tessa (Nov 1, 2008)

I think the problem is with the parents not the child,  whatever you get him, his mommy is not going to like, so get him a drum set.  I have yet to meet a little boy who didn't like drums.


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## marianneg (Nov 4, 2008)

tessa said:


> I think the problem is with the parents not the child, whatever you get him, his mommy is not going to like, so get him a drum set. I have yet to meet a little boy who didn't like drums.


Hee, hee. That's probably a guaranteed trip to the closet! I bet he would love it, though. I promised DD a drum when she poo-poos in the potty.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

marianner said:


> No, he'll love them.


Well, but, I would have thought he'd have loved an Elmo, Tonka truck, and junior legos too. . . . .it sounds like he's a hard kid to buy for and I have no clue what to suggest. . . . 

It might be best to just ask the parents what "he" wants. . . . .and if it's too much, just send money and tell 'em it's to go toward the purchase of it.

Though. . . .I do like the drum idea. ... .


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

My husband spoke with his parents today and basically all we thought would be good ideas have been shot down.  They say he gets all kinds of books from everyone, has every toy out there and only plays with 1 or 2.  He asked for ideas for Christmas as we will be sending them to Florida while they're there and hopefully we will get the ideas sooner than last years 2 weeks before Christmas and too late to send to Florida (as they are there from mid-Sept. to mid-December).

The sis and bro-in-law will be heading to Florida with the nephew for 3 or so weeks the end of this month and so I have decided to send off a little speed boat replica kiddie float for the pool as I know they say he loves swimming in the pool (at the house where they stay).  I'll just send this little gift and if all fails again, we will send off Costco gift certificates for all and concentrate on my side's fun gifts.  

I feel like a horrible person, but I love giving great gifts, but they make it so difficult.  We sent cases of expensive Spanish wine to his parents & sis one year and found they didn't even drink them, but opened all the bottles and used as a Sangria for a big party they had.  Also, every year my husband usually gets a plaid shirt (and if you knew him you would wonder if they even met him) and I get a sample pack of some lotion stuff you get as a give away gift with purchase from his parents.  My husband says he never really worried about gifts and maybe I understand now why that is.  I'm really not a Bah-Humbug cranky pants - really!!!


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## 911jason (Aug 17, 2009)

I wouldn't let the *crappy* picky parents discourage you from sending something that YOU think he'll like. If it's a duplicate, then oh well... but at least you tried. I bet any money/gift cards you send will end up getting spent on the *rude* difficult parents anyway.

BT had a good idea, if you send some type of personalized book they can't say he already has it. Then whenever he sees it, he'll think of you.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

F1, the problem is DEFINITELY with the parents.  Our daughters-in-law are great about giving us gift suggestions.  It would be very simple for them to do so.  And, as many people give our grandkids gifts (as I'm the evil step-grandmother  , there are three grandmothers, and an extra extended family), they make sure there are no duplicate gifts.

Do the best you can and be at peace.

Betsy

And what did you think of the F1 race yesterday!!  I was so happy for Barrachello that he won at Monza.  (Italian fans still like him.  Once a Ferrari driver, always a Ferrari driver.)


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## pidgeon92 (Oct 27, 2008)

I rarely give physical gifts to children anymore... I prefer to make donations to their college fund...


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## marianneg (Nov 4, 2008)

pidgeon92 said:


> I rarely give physical gifts to children anymore... I prefer to make donations to their college fund...


That's what I was thinking. If the little darling already has every toy and book known to man, then putting away something for his future is a wonderful gift, too. You could send him a nice card with a note to go with it.


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## Forster (Mar 9, 2009)

Well being he lives in N.Ireland he can't possibly have everything. My vote would be to send him one of these. 

I'm sure it will go over well.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

I have to say I was surprised by your comment about putting money away for his future.  I'm not sure how I'd react if my sister was that rude - but it wouldn't involve buying her gifts in the future.  

Gift giving shouldn't be so much work and it shouldn't stress you out.  It should be a joy.  Like you, I love to give gifts - but only to those who are appreciative.  I really think you need to have a Come-to-Jesus conversation with your sister to let her know how you feel.


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## Forster (Mar 9, 2009)

^ Agree.

BTW: I've never spent more than $15 on a gift for a niece/nephew.  Almost always a book.  A number of years ago I came to an agreement with my sisters that sending numerous presents back and forth between our families for everyone was a big PITA so the only thing we do now is send a nice cheese and cracker basket to the whole family at Christmas time, birthdays are out completely.  We are all much happier.


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## Anju  (Nov 8, 2008)

We used to send ounces of silver to our N&Ns, they could play with them, they could save them, they could do whatever, but never ever an acknowledgment.  We sent these for "savings" and possible future funds.  I quit doing gifts.  period.  Last year I relented and sent my DH to Dallas for Christmas with nice gifts for EVERYONE!  A set of Christmas hand towels was returned, but I can use them.  Found out recently they had decided to give to the next oldest, only one gift, but I was not told.  HRUMPH  This year - nada!  If DH wants to go spend money, it is out of his pocket not my allowance! 

F1 - you will not win this battle.  Do what makes you happy and then forget it.  Personally I like the personalized book idea, but again - it is your decision!


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## sebat (Nov 16, 2008)

It sounds like you are just 2 different classes of people...you like sushi and they like TGI Fridays.  

Since they toss everything, my guess is that what you buy needs to be small or consumable before they leave the US.  I can see them not wanting to pay extra for their luggage because of the airline weight restrictions.  The gifts they gave you are probably things they would like themselves.  A perfect gift for the parents might be a gift certificate to TGI Fridays.   For the kid, how about DVDs like Baby Einstein or maybe start them a Disney movie collection.


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## tessa (Nov 1, 2008)

F1
Save yourself the aggravation just send the kid $10.00  and let the parents worry about the exchange rate from dollars to euros.

tessa


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## rla1996 (Oct 28, 2008)

How about one of these:



They come in all different sizes and characters depending on where you purchase them. They are very soft, warm, and fuzzy. I usually get mine from either e-bay or the local swapmeet (vendors sell them new). The baby/crib size is perfect for a little tyke to drag all over the house. They can throw it on the floor to play on, snuggle under it when watching TV, make a tent out of it using a kitchen chair... or any number of other things. All the kids in my family have one and they take them everywhere (our nine year-old twins are due for new ones but refuse to give up the little drag around ones that they've had since they were babies).


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## 911jason (Aug 17, 2009)

I think you guys all need to separate the whiney parents from the nephew. It's not his fault that they are like that, and he shouldn't be penalized for "choosing" the wrong parents!


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## 911jason (Aug 17, 2009)

F1 - how about *THESE*?

If the packaging is too bulky for their luggage, you could take the discs out and place them in an inexpensive CD wallet... You could also combine these with an inexpensive portable CD or DVD player, then your nephew could use them while on vacation and on the long plane-ride home.

While I've never tried having my 1-yr old listen to audio books, I do know that he just LOVES listening to music on headphones.


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

Forster said:


> Well being he lives in N.Ireland he can't possibly have everything. My vote would be to send him one of these.
> 
> I'm sure it will go over well.


While I'm sure you meant this in jest the suggestion is ... I don't even know what to say. I lived in NI for many years and although the image is that The Troubles are flourishing, it would be the same as assuming everyone in the USA has a slave. Thank you anyway as I'm sure you didn't realize.


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I am going to run these by my husband, as it is his sister's son we are talking about and his parents (I have a _normal_ family). I spoke to him about it tonight and the idea is we will send something the end of this month or start of October, not waiting for their suggestions, and let them take whatever we send home with them from Florida.


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## Forster (Mar 9, 2009)

F1Wild said:


> While I'm sure you meant this in jest the suggestion is ... I don't even know what to say. I lived in NI for many years and although the image is that The Troubles are flourishing, it would be the same as assuming everyone in the USA has a slave. Thank you anyway as I'm sure you didn't realize.


Sorry twas a bad jest.


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## sebat (Nov 16, 2008)

F1Wild said:


> While I'm sure you meant this in jest the suggestion is ... I don't even know what to say. I lived in NI for many years and although the image is that The Troubles are flourishing, it would be the same as assuming everyone in the USA has a slave. Thank you anyway as I'm sure you didn't realize.


I didn't think of that, either. My first thought was...it will be interesting trying to get that on an airplane home!


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

Forster said:


> Sorry twas a bad jest.


I figured it was. If only you knew how hard 99.99999999% of the people in NI would love to forget and heal all wounds.


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

sebat said:


> I didn't think of that, either. My first thought was...it will be interesting trying to get that on an airplane home!


Friends of ours from NI came out to AZ for our wedding and did a bit of touring around while they were here, including a trip to old Tombstone. A cigarette lighter in the shape of an old Wild West gunslingers weapon was purchased and stuck in a pocket......not found again until they were heading home and he had a slew of military surrounding him at the airport.


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

F1 I wish you the best of luck in your searching for the perfect gift.  I too like to give gifts that are personal, but I know some families are not like that.  My dad does not purchase a gift for every one of my birthdays.  When he does I know it's because he was out and he found something that he knew I'd really like.  I have never got an unthoughtful gift from him.  It has made his occasional gifts so much more special to me.  
When my son starting having children my mom was unsure of what to do.  These were now great-grandchildren with other grandparents to do the toy/clothes shopping for.  So she started buying savings bonds.  She gets one for every birthday and christmas.  It won't add up to a ton of money, but will definitely give them a good cushion for college, or a first car.  And they will think of her and all of her efforts over the years.  
Again, good luck.
deb


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## ak rain (Nov 15, 2008)

drenee said:


> F1 I wish you the best of luck in your searching for the perfect gift. I too like to give gifts that are personal, but I know some families are not like that. My dad does not purchase a gift for every one of my birthdays. When he does I know it's because he was out and he found something that he knew I'd really like. I have never got an unthoughtful gift from him. It has made his occasional gifts so much more special to me.
> When my son starting having children my mom was unsure of what to do. These were now great-grandchildren with other grandparents to do the toy/clothes shopping for. So she started buying savings bonds. She gets one for every birthday and christmas. It won't add up to a ton of money, but will definitely give them a good cushion for college, or a first car. And they will think of her and all of her efforts over the years.
> Again, good luck.
> deb


I second this one. no gift is or should be necessary but when one is given it is trully a gift and should be thought of as such. when I was small one aunt always sent a card and said what charity she gave too so I guess I learned this early. 
some christmass' I remember with my small ones who are teens now - the empty boxes were the most fun. the gifts were refound later and were perfect then.
sylvia


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

ak rain said:


> the empty boxes were the most fun.
> sylvia


The very best idea yet - Christmas boxes!!! Seriously I appreciate all the help, ideas and psychological support.


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