# Does "head-hopping" in a novel bother you?



## Ray Rhamey author (Jan 6, 2011)

Head-hopping is when the narrative of a story jumps from one character's point of view to another's right in the middle of the scene.

In my editing work and on my blog, Flogging the Quill http://www.floggingthequill.com, it's a flaw I encounter frequently. I know an editor at a publishing house for whom it's reason for instant rejection.

Yet I see it in published novels--here's an example. I've changed the names to protect the guilty.

Smith knew that this meant the suspect would probably wind up going to the hospital. The idea didn't much appeal to him. "Get him in a cell."

Jones shrugged. It wasn't that he cared, but Smith's suggestion ran counter to protocol. He wanted to cover himself. "Clear him here first, then."

We were inside Smith's mind, knowing how he felt, and then in the very next paragraph in Jones's point of view, knowing how he felt. As I recall the narrative soon went back to Smith. Argh.

What about you? Does it throw you off? It yanks me out of the story, but I may be overly sensitive to it.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

It can be a bit disconcerting when it's in the middle of a section like that. I don't mind if it's done in separate sections or chapters if it's done well, but yes - in the middle of a section like that, jumping pov's from one sentence to the next, bugs me, since it can be confusing and pull me out of the story.


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## L.J. Sellers novelist (Feb 28, 2010)

I don't care for head hopping. I find it confusing. As an editor, it was the most common problem I saw for aspiring writers. It seems though that already published authors get away with it sometimes. The biggest problem with head hopping is that it keeps the reader from identifying closely with a character...because you don't stay in his/her head long enough to see the world from his/her perspective.
L.J.


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## 4Katie (Jun 27, 2009)

I don't care for it, unless it's made very clear. Sometimes I get very confused and have to go back and re-read to see what happened. It disrupts the flow - I'm not a fan.


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## R. M. Reed (Nov 11, 2009)

Sometimes it's all right, and sometimes it's confusing. It has to be completely clear whose head you are in.


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## MariaESchneider (Aug 1, 2009)

It's a very common and accepted technique in romance novels to switch back and forth between the hero/heroine.  It's not confusing because it's a pretty standard technique and expected.

That said, I've come across it in books where it happens in the middle of a paragraph and it's confusing and a bit sloppy.  I think most readers are fairly tolerant of it though.

I generally don't even like multiple POV novels so sometimes headhopping is a reason where I just put the book down and don't bother with it.


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## Sandra Edwards (May 10, 2010)

Larry McMurty's Lonesome Dove won a Pulitzer. Head hopping. Two of my all-time favorite authors are Sidney Sheldon and Harold Robbins are known for their head hopping. Heck, Sheldon has started a paragraph in one person's head and finished it in someone else's. So I guess you can figure that head hopping doesn't bother me 

Sandy


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## James Everington (Dec 25, 2010)

I think it can be done deliberately to good effect... But often, as in your example, it's like a lack of focus in the writing, which just dilutes it.

I subscribe to a dogmatic rule about it always being bad though. (Although admitedly I can't think of any examples _right_ now..!)

James


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## DYB (Aug 8, 2009)

It doesn't bother me at all.  That's what the 3rd person narrator can do.  Hop around through everybody's head and tell us how they all feel.


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## loisdbrown (Feb 8, 2011)

Maybe I'm a purist, but it can bug me. The popular RANGER'S APPRENTICE series does it, and I seem to notice it every time. I don't mind if it each chapter head hops, but please, not in the middle of a paragraph!


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## MLPMom (Nov 27, 2009)

I like it better when the author will just alternate perspectives from chapter to chapter. Hopping around within a chapter is confusing sometimes.


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## KerylR (Dec 28, 2010)

Done well, it doesn't bother me.  (I'm a firm believer that Lonesome Dove is the greatest story in the history of fiction...)

Done poorly it's like fingernails on a chalkboard.  

I've never seen a book that head hopped that I thought was bad that would have been saved by being in just one POV or in one POV per chapter.  Usually, if that aspect of the story isn't handled well, the rest of it isn't handled well either.

Anyone have an example of a story that head hopped annoyingly that was just fine otherwise?


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

MariaESchneider said:


> ...I generally don't even like multiple POV novels so sometimes headhopping is a reason where I just put the book down and don't bother with it.


I tend to be with Maria: I prefer a single POV throughout, or at least only a very few POV's and switching only occasionally and at obvious breakpoints in the narrative. Not to say I cannot enjoy books with more POV's or more rapidly changing, but it puts the onus on the author to do everything else a bit better and make all that switching serve a purpose, as opposed to just doing it for no significantly good reason. (It's probably why I also find 1st person, single POV novels attractive.)


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## Ray Rhamey author (Jan 6, 2011)

To be clear, a narrative written from an omniscient point of view can, indeed, to anywhere it wants to--and succeed at it if the writer is good. It's when the narrative is in close third person and the hop is made that, I think, the reader is put at a distance from the experience of the character. Changes in characters' points of view can be a good thing if done with clear transitions. Changing from one character to another with a new chapter certainly works, and can build tension. It can happen within a chapter, too, but I think the transitions need to be clear for the reader.


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## theraven (Dec 30, 2009)

It bothers me a lot. I tried to read a novel recently published by a best-selling author and I couldn't get past the first chapter. The constant hopping was driving me up the wall so I gave up. A few paragraphs here and there in story will make me pause and wonder if the writer realized they slipped from the POV character but can continue reading on. But a constant bouncing back and forth makes my head hurt.


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## PG4003 (Patricia) (Jan 30, 2010)

I had to open this thread just to see what head-hopping is before I know if it bothers me   And now that I know, yes it does bother me.  Jodie Picoult writes like that a lot, only hers is by chapters.  One entire chapter will be narrated by one character, and I'm just getting into it, then the next chapter is another character narrating.  I always have to stop and remind myself whose point of view I'm reading.


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## L.J. Sellers novelist (Feb 28, 2010)

If it's done by chapter, it's not head hopping. It's simply a new POV. But the writer should make it instantly clear whose perspective it is.
L.J.


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## Chris Northern (Jan 20, 2011)

If there is a reason for it and it is handled smoothly - unlike the example given, which is  a tad clunky - then there is no problem for me. There are reasons to do it so I would if the situation came up.


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## QuantumIguana (Dec 29, 2010)

I've been reading C.J. Cherry's Foreigner series, and as far as I can recall, except for the prologue to the first book, it is written in Third Person Limited Narrative http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third-person_limited It's still third person, but we only see things from the main character's perspective, what we know of other characters is only what the main character observes or thinks. In the 9th book, Deliverer, we see things through another character's eyes from time to time.

It's fine, so long as it is made clear whose perspective it is currently. If I get confused, it pulls me out of the story for the moment that I have to take to figure it out.


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

wrrriter said:


> Head-hopping is when the narrative of a story jumps from one character's point of view to another's right in the middle of the scene.
> 
> In my editing work and on my blog, Flogging the Quill http://www.floggingthequill.com, it's a flaw I encounter frequently. I know an editor at a publishing house for whom it's reason for instant rejection.
> 
> ...


I dislike it to the point that it will almost certainly make me put the novel down.

Edit: Someone in a later post brought up changing PoV between chapters or scenes. That, as has been pointed out, is not headhopping. It is not headhopping if the novel is written in omniscient either, but that is rarely done any more.

One problem with discussing this is that many people don't understand PoV. It is a technical topic for writers and not readers, after all. All the reader does or should care about is: _Does it work?_

It is for writers to care about: _Why does it work?_

Head hopping does not work.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Bleekness said:


> ...
> But you know, since I've heard people talking about head hopping, I'm quicker to notice it, and that bugs me. When I wasn't aware of it, I read on, and certainly enjoyed the story for what it is. Ignorance is indeed bliss.


Sort of like split infinitives: even though it appears most modern English grammar guides no longer consider them particularly bad (and maybe even better than the alternatives in some cases), I still tend to notice them at times, pulling me out of my immersion in the book, even though there really is nothing really wrong with it.


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

NogDog said:


> Sort of like split infinitives: even though it appears most modern English grammar guides no longer consider them particularly bad (and maybe even better than the alternatives in some cases), I still tend to notice them at times, pulling me out of my immersion in the book, even though there really is nothing really wrong with it.


The grammarian in me has to point out that it isn't that split infinitives are _no longer_ bad. They never were.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

JRTomlin said:


> The grammarian in me has to point out that it isn't that split infinitives are _no longer_ bad. They never were.


But once you had a teacher try to figuratively beat [sic  ] it out of you, you can't help noticing them whether they actually bother you or not.


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## Lambert (Nov 12, 2010)

I don't mind if it's rare and would be to clumsy to do another way. I can see where it could be OK.

Lambert


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## TR Montressor (Feb 5, 2011)

The problem with headhopping is that it's seldom well carried out. Either it hops around at random (confusing) or sticks with the main head until it would be easier to headhop than explain (lazy) or generally just doesn't come off well.

However, when it is well done it can be a good tool. Frank Herbert headhops in Dune to great effect.

tl;dr Do it right, or leave it alone.


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## xandy3 (Jun 13, 2010)

Head-hopping okay if it's done well _and _ if it's necessary to the scene.

I've seen examples of it _not_ done well, and found it confusing.

Then again, I've (unfortunately) read books that were supposedly told in first person, but somehow the protagonist also had mind reading abilities and started telling us what other people were thinking.


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## Zell (Dec 27, 2010)

Not at all. I don't see anything wrong with it. In reality there can be multiple perceptions and opinions of a particular situation by those involved. When I read a book I would like to get in the head of some of the key characters involved in an important scene because odds are they may see things differently from each other and have their own opinions that contribute to effectively developing the story. But I'd only want this information if it's going to make the story better. I have to say, though, head-hopping would start to annoy me if it's done unnecessarily. If it's done right a reader wouldn't even notice it.

Obviously what's important when writing fiction is to tell a story that keeps the reader engaged and engrossed in the book and come away from it knowing they want to read more of your books. I would do whatever it takes to _effectively_ tell the story to keep the reader turning those pages to the end. Head-hopping can be one way to do that.


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## libbyfh (Feb 11, 2010)

One of the first things I learned as an author was the use of POV. It's changed in the past 15 years -- what was unacceptable then, Ie several points of view, even in the same chapter, is done frequently now. 

I don't mind shifting POVs, especially in a suspense novel or thriller -- they help build pace and urgency -- but they have to be done correctly. For me, that means one POV per "section"... no more, no less.

In fact, nothing takes me out of a story faster than a point of view that's not done correctly.


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## Joseph Robert Lewis (Oct 31, 2010)

I really like it when POV shifts around from chapter to chapter, a la A Song of Ice and Fire, because it gives me a richer insight into the whole world of the book. 

But I really dislike head-hopping within a scene, or within a paragraph. It's very jarring and instead of experiencing the scene from a character's point of view I end up experiencing it from the narrator's POV, which is not what I want.


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## Ray Rhamey author (Jan 6, 2011)

Good point, Joseph. Head-hopping inserts the author's godlike hand into the scene and prevents it from feeling like a "real," natural scene in which something is happening.


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## FictionalWriter (Aug 4, 2010)

Way back when, since that's how most of the romance authors wrote, it didn't bother me at all. Now it drives me NUTS! I like a very clean break in POV shifts.


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## peter darbyshire (Jan 22, 2011)

Like everything else, it depends on how it's done. I don't use it myself -- I stick to one POV -- but I'm not opposed to it.

Although I am puzzled when a book shifts between 1st person POV and 3rd. That one always throws me.


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## Paul Clayton (Sep 12, 2009)

I agree that it can be done -- by the pros.  At a minimum, perhaps a paragraph return between different POVs.  That might help.


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## Katie Salidas (Mar 21, 2010)

Head hopping pulls me out of the scene. When I am deep into one characters thoughts and feelings to suddenly be in another character is jarring and often makes me go back and re-read lines wondering if I somehow missed something. After a while, I will just get frustrated and set aside a book. 

On the flip side of that, I do not mind multiple character perspectives, when they are clearly defined. That's perfectly acceptable because there is a pause and return to the scene that is natural to the story. I don't even mind multiple character perspectives in a scene, as long as it has some definition.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

You know, every time one of these POV threads come up for discussion I am mildly baffled.  Honestly, I don't consciously notice POV.  I only notice if the book seems to be well written and moving forward at an appropriate pace.  I'm sure POV is part of that, but, as a reader, it's not something I pay specific attention to.  I suppose if there was too much jumping around I'd notice it, but I'd likely just say, "this isn't very well written" and put it aside.


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## Mark Feggeler (Feb 7, 2011)

Head-hopping is okay if it serves a purpose -- perhaps some necessary plot twist that can be introduced only by switching to a new POV, or a secondary character given his/her own chapter to help show the reader something important to the story.  Many times, like in the example you provide, it almost seems like authors are writing screenplays instead of novels and are trying to offer motive and direction to whomever will play in all the different parts.
With my own writing, I'll catch myself head-hopping when I am so charged to get on paper what's in my head that I inadvertantly commit the act.  Self-flagellation surely follows during the editing phase.  The only things that would keep me from removing it are laziness and apathy.
Ultimately, I suppose it's a judgement call by the readers.  If it works, it works.  If it doesn't, it doesn't.
BTW, excellent question!
Mark


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## history_lover (Aug 9, 2010)

I was going to say I don't like it - but I'll bet there's been times when the author worked it seamlessly into the writing without me realizing it. So I imagine it's something that needs to be done right or not at all.


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## Jon Olson (Dec 10, 2010)

I think it depends on how it's done, and whether or not it's clear. Sometimes, actually, it adds that little bit that you want to know.


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## Zell (Dec 27, 2010)

callingcrow said:


> I agree that it can be done -- by the pros.


Stephen King does it all the time and I love it because it keeps me on my toes. It doesn't throw me off; it effectively adds to the story.


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## Zell (Dec 27, 2010)

Ann in Arlington said:


> Honestly, I don't consciously notice POV. I only notice if the book seems to be well written and moving forward at an appropriate pace. I'm sure POV is part of that, but, as a reader, it's not something I pay specific attention to. I suppose if there was too much jumping around I'd notice it, but I'd likely just say, "this isn't very well written" and put it aside.


I agree.


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## xandy3 (Jun 13, 2010)

Jon Olson said:


> I think it depends on how it's done, and whether or not it's clear. Sometimes, actually, it adds that little bit that you want to know.


Yeah, and your main character is not clairvoyant, nor are they omnipresent. Sometimes it's necessary to change POV, show the other side of the story...what's happening elsewhere or the way someone else perceives things.

The transition should be clear though, and not within the same paragraph.


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

Zell said:


> I agree.


And that's how it should be. Really this is 'technical' stuff for us writers to angst over. For the reader, it's a matter of "does the darn thing run and not make weird pinging noises?" -- so to speak.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Ann in Arlington said:


> You know, every time one of these POV threads come up for discussion I am mildly baffled. Honestly, I don't consciously notice POV. I only notice if the book seems to be well written and moving forward at an appropriate pace. I'm sure POV is part of that, but, as a reader, it's not something I pay specific attention to. I suppose if there was too much jumping around I'd notice it, but I'd likely just say, "this isn't very well written" and put it aside.


It's probably a bit like other types of art and how much you have been trained or self-educated in the technicalities. Something about the brush stroke technique used by Rembrandt that a trained artist would notice would likely be invisible to me, but I know whether or not I like or dislike the overall effect to which it contributed. On the other hand, there are many subtleties in a musical performance that might distract me from enjoying the overall effect, as I've had years of musical training. This can be both a curse and a blessing, as minor timing or intonation issues might irritate me and make me less appreciative of a performance than others would be, yet when everything is done just right I might be more appreciative than a typical listener.

Anyway, I think when head-hopping is potentially a bad choice is when it becomes a quick-and-easy "tell me" mechanism used in place of the generally preferred "show me" option.


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## Zell (Dec 27, 2010)

JRTomlin said:


> And that's how it should be. Really this is 'technical' stuff for us writers to angst over. For the reader, it's a matter of "does the darn thing run and not make weird pinging noises?" -- so to speak.


It's like I say, you do what you have to do to write a _great_ story that keeps a person engaged and reading smoothly from page to page. If head-hopping is inserted seamlessly and adds to the development of an other-wise well written story, then you've done it right.


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## geoffthomas (Feb 27, 2009)

I can forgive most any mistake if the book is in general well-written and engrossing.
If it is boring and moves slow and poorly developed, etc.  then I will stop reading for the slightest reason.

Just sayin.....


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## KerylR (Dec 28, 2010)

peter darbyshire said:


> Like everything else, it depends on how it's done. I don't use it myself -- I stick to one POV -- but I'm not opposed to it.
> 
> Although I am puzzled when a book shifts between 1st person POV and 3rd. That one always throws me.


I do that in my book. One main reason, I like first person and started in both of the main characters in first. It was a train wreck. If head hopping is problematic, going from one I to another I is just a mess.

So, I wanted to keep the intimacy of first. And I needed an easy way to see that a POV switch happened. So one character is in first. The others are in third.

By the time the book gets going it becomes a very effective character tool as well. The first character is more open, less guarded, she'll tell you what she thinks and keeps no secrets. It seems natural to be in her head. The third person character keeps walls between himself and the rest of the world. That you see him from other eyes makes sense.

I think it worked pretty well, but I do know it annoys other people.


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## tsilver (Aug 9, 2010)

It doesn't bother me at all unless it would be in the same paragraph.


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## Joseph Robert Lewis (Oct 31, 2010)

I think it comes down to how closely you want to experience the story with a given character versus how much you want to enjoy the presence of the narrator.

For example, Neil Gaiman has a very prominent narrator's voice in many of his books through which he offers little comments and nudges and humor. I know a lot of people enjoy that, but I find it pulls me out of the story, sort of like when someone talks to you in the movie theater. 

I like to be immersed in the story, or the character, or the moment, and I can only really enjoy that from one person's point of view at a time, because in reality, we only experience life from one point of view.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

NogDog said:


> On the other hand, there are many subtleties in a musical performance that might distract me from enjoying the overall effect, as I've had years of musical training. This can be both a curse and a blessing, as minor timing or intonation issues might irritate me and make me less appreciative of a performance than others would be, yet when everything is done just right I might be more appreciative than a typical listener.


I hear ya! For example. . . .I found the performance of the National Anthem and the half time show painful to listen to on Sunday. . . .


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Ann in Arlington said:


> I hear ya! For example. . . .I found the performance of the National Anthem and the half time show painful to listen to on Sunday. . . .


I didn't hear that, but I usually change the channel whenever anyone famous is singing the Anthem, as 99% of the time it's too slow, poorly phrased, and has added notes. >_<


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## Ray Rhamey author (Jan 6, 2011)

Joseph, I'm with you. I tried Gaiman, and soon gave up. I wanted to "live" the experience of the story, and there he was, imposing from without.


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## purplepen79 (May 6, 2010)

I never notice head-hopping as I have a pretty thick skull, unless the character is wearing steel-toed boots or something . . . seriously, I don't notice it too much unless it interferes with the flow of the story.


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## JFHilborne (Jan 22, 2011)

I've always thought it was a no-no. I don't mind it once in a while, if a scene is moving quickly, otherwise no, not a fan.


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## StaceyHH (Sep 13, 2010)

Omniscient POV is fine with me. I just want the story to be well written. What I don't get is what the difference is between "head-hopping," which seems to be something you writers are critical of, and "omniscient," which seems to be a perfectly legit POV.


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## James Everington (Dec 25, 2010)

Joseph Robert Lewis said:


> Neil Gaiman has a very prominent narrator's voice in many of his books through which he offers little comments and nudges and humor. I know a lot of people enjoy that, but I find it pulls me out of the story, sort of like when someone talks to you in the movie theater.


See, I _like_ that - to me it's a nice reminder that all of our fancy sophisticated story-telling is really no different to a bunch of cavemen sitting round a fire when one of them started telling a story... No stories without the story-tellers.

Again, it has to be done well though (which I think Gaiman does).


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## tim290280 (Jan 11, 2011)

L.J. Sellers said:


> I don't care for head hopping. I find it confusing. As an editor, it was the most common problem I saw for aspiring writers. It seems though that already published authors get away with it sometimes. The biggest problem with head hopping is that it keeps the reader from identifying closely with a character...because you don't stay in his/her head long enough to see the world from his/her perspective.
> L.J.


Agree. It barely works in a tight 3rd person narrative. I don't mind the head hop if it is done in separate sections or chapters. That way it is easier, plus you can change the perspective and make it more obvious to the reader without breaking the flow.


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## jimbronyaur (Feb 9, 2011)

I agree... head-hopping takes me out of the scene AND the book/story.

If I'm in Charlie's head... that's where I want to stay.  Let Charlie figure out what Bob is thinking, etc.  Jumping back and forth, to be honest, is just lazy.  That's a writer not knowing what to do and finding the easy way out.  Yuck.

I don't mind books that jump when there are breaks - i.e. chapters.

BUT I do not like if a book is in first person and then breaks are in another POV.  I won't list the book but it was a best selling thriller... written in first person to start and then every other chapter was in third person.  

It just bothered me.  If your MC isn't strong enough to carry the novel in first person, then don't do it at all.


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## QuantumIguana (Dec 29, 2010)

StaceyHH said:


> Omniscient POV is fine with me. I just want the story to be well written. What I don't get is what the difference is between "head-hopping," which seems to be something you writers are critical of, and "omniscient," which seems to be a perfectly legit POV.


Stories are often written not from an omniscient point of view, but from the point of view of one character. It's not first person; the narrator isn't saying "I", but the perspective given is only what the chaacter can see, hear, feel or think. That's fine, but it can be jarring if in such a story you suddenly are given a different character's perspective.


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## StaceyHH (Sep 13, 2010)

QuantumIguana said:


> Stories are often written not from an omniscient point of view, but from the point of view of one character. It's not first person; the narrator isn't saying "I", but the perspective given is only what the chaacter can see, hear, feel or think.


Yes, I agree, that's not omniscient, that's 3rd person limited. I'd like to know what the authors here who are complaining about "head-hopping" feel makes that different from the very legitimate POV of 3rd person omniscient? Some of the best works of fiction are told from omniscient. When does it become "head hopping"?


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## Miriam Minger (Nov 27, 2010)

Usually prefer it to be one scene, one head.  

Miriam Minger


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## AnnetteL (Jul 14, 2010)

Head-hopping (or, when handled well, 3rd person omniscient) used to be commonplace and accepted. Dickens and company did it all time. But times have changed, and it's no longer as accepted--just like today's reader won't put up with pages and pages of description, most savvy readers get annoyed by head-hopping. 

I don't know that they'd be able to express why they don't like a book beyond maybe "it was confusing," but they do notice. I think it takes a good writer to stick to one POV per scene (usually the person with the most at stake in the scene). 

Good POV also gets the reader engaged more intimately in the characters' hearts and heads--and we care more. Head-hopping prevents that kind of reader identification.

Writing trends change over the years. POV is one of those thing that has changed. Sure, the occasional writer can get away with it, but for the most part, the best writers out there don't head hop or do so with a very specific purpose and do so exceptionally well, because it's hard to do right. 

I see a lot of beginning writers in my freelance editing who use 3rd person omniscient not because they think it's important for the work and not because they know how, but because they don't know how to use POV in the first place. The result is usually lazy writing.


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## Ray Rhamey author (Jan 6, 2011)

What makes head-hopping work in omniscient point of view? The answer is talent, skill. For a class in writing literary fiction that I took at the University of Washington, one reading assignment was a Virginia Woolf novel, I've forgotten which one. She head-hopped whenever she wished, yet it was smooth and appropriate. It took me a while to even notice it.

Writing in the omniscient POV isn't easy--a creative writing instructor in the Warren Wilson College MFA program once said that he didn't even feel competent to attempt writing the omniscient POV until he was in his 40s and very well experienced.


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## StaceyHH (Sep 13, 2010)

AnnetteL said:


> Head-hopping (or, when handled well, 3rd person omniscient) used to be commonplace and accepted. Dickens and company did it all time. But times have changed, and *it's no longer as accepted*--just like today's reader won't put up with pages and pages of description, *most savvy readers* get annoyed by head-hopping.
> 
> *Good POV* also gets the reader engaged more intimately in the characters' hearts and heads--and we care more. Head-hopping prevents that kind of reader identification.
> 
> ...


Okay, I'm trying to understand here, because this seems like it's turning into another one of those workshop memes where inexperienced people latch onto a suggestion and turn it into a rule...

It appears that you are labeling 3rd person omniscient POV (let's call it 3PO ) as not good, not accepted, something that "savvy" readers don't want to see, doesn't work, lazy writing... I'm assuming and hoping you mean that 3PO has an increased potential for being done poorly, and as such it can feel disorienting. This feeling is what you guys are calling head hopping. Do I understand that correctly?

Because 3PO is really a legitimate literary perspective, has been used for centuries, and is still used in masterful fiction. I've seen this pop up in reviews lately (maybe it has always been there?) where writers will critique other writers' work and say things like "show don't tell," "infodump," or "there was a lot of head-hopping," like those things, in and of themselves, are automatically bad.

I would suggest the problem isn't that it's done, it's that it isn't done well. I would also suggest that the "lazy writing," from a learning perspective, is in not learning to use an important literary device in an appropriate way.


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## QuantumIguana (Dec 29, 2010)

StaceyHH said:


> Yes, I agree, that's not omniscient, that's 3rd person limited. I'd like to know what the authors here who are complaining about "head-hopping" feel makes that different from the very legitimate POV of 3rd person omniscient? Some of the best works of fiction are told from omniscient. When does it become "head hopping"?


There's no head hopping in a truly third person omniscient story, because you're not getting anyone's perspective. Head hopping is a problem when there is confusion of whose perspective it is at the moment. It's sort of like confusion when you lose track of who is speaking.


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## James Everington (Dec 25, 2010)

I agree with a lot of what StaceyHH says... these things aren't rules. Just guidance. Whatever rules someone lays down, a writer will have broken it somewhere, to good effect.

But I must thank everyone on this thread, because reading it again has given me a great idea for a (short) story. Not to bore you with the plot specifics, but it will all be told entirely from one POV... apart from the very last line, which will be from another POV, and completely change the reader's view of everything they've just read.

I'm at that excited stage when I've had an idea (but not mucked it up yet!). Sometime's it's a slog, but at time's like this being a writer's _great_.

James


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## Tom Schreck (Dec 12, 2010)

Head hopping makes me crazy...plain and simple...

Some of it might be preference...some might be reading ability. it's just too much work for me...


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## Amy Corwin (Jan 3, 2011)

I don't mind head-hopping or omniscient POV as long as the author uses common sense  and doesn't do it every few paragraphs or without warning. It's difficult if they hop around to the point where you don't know whose head you're in!

One author described a great way of thinking/doing it by saying: think of the POV as the camera distance. If you're in one character's head, you're in a "close up" on that character. If you just swing the camera very quickly without warning into a "close up" of another characters, it's jarring. But if you pan out, then refocus on the new character, the change of POV flows smoothly and gives the reader a chance to adjust. It also helps to "toss the ball" from one character to the other by doing something like: _he glanced at her. When she caught his gaze, she realized he had no idea what was going on._ That way, it shifts from one character to the other in a way that the reader can pick up and smoothly move on... Not the best example, maybe, but you get the point.

Anyway, I mentioned that just to say that it may be more a question of how smoothly and skillfully done the POV transition is.


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## LaFlamme (Dec 9, 2010)

It's a bit jarring. Sort of like in Scrubs when they transition from JD's inner-dialogue to Turk's or Carla's.


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## edwardgtalbot (Apr 28, 2010)

If the "story" is truly great, head-hopping doesn't bother me.  that said, it usually bothers me a lot. I've failed to buy books I've read the sample of due solely to head hopping.

Can it be done well?  absolutely, but it rarely bears any resemblance to the examples people complain about.  I thought the book Shogun from the seventies did an excellent job head-hopping.

One thing about POV, though, there are some places where the "rules" can be violated effectively.  I think of "head hopping" as specifically switching POV within a block of writing.  I wrote a blog post about this last year, about other ways that one can effectively write in a way other than firmly grounded in one character's point of view for a whole chapter/section. Some of it depends on genre - in romances, someone earlier in this thread talked about using both characters' POV.  In thrillers, it's not uncommon for the author to switch to an omniscient point of view at the end of a chapter to foreshadow something (this usually also violates the show don't tell directive AND is a cliche - a trifecta of rulebreaking. Yet readers enjoy it, and those who criticize it rarely are the fans of mainstream thrillers). I'm also a fan of the thriller prologue which ends with the POV character dying, another no-no.


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## Zell (Dec 27, 2010)

All of this talk about head-hopping has given me a bad headache and I'm hopping mad about it!


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## NotActive (Jan 24, 2011)

content


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## StaceyHH (Sep 13, 2010)

Honestly, the only POV/tense I find difficult to enjoy is present tense for any POV. I just read _The Boy with a Cuckoo Clock Heart,_ which is an ingenious little fantasy collage of a story, but it was written in present tense, which always makes me feel like I'm only about to start reading, instead of sinking into a story.


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## NotActive (Jan 24, 2011)

content


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## Maud Muller (Aug 10, 2010)

Have been following this thread with interest. As a reader, I've never really thought about this before so it must not have bothered me. As an author, my recent novella is written in first person so head hopping wasn't a option. I'm currently revising an earlier novel that is written in 3rd person and it appears I tend to explain through dialogue, gestures and narrative what multiple characters in a scene are feeling--didn't realize this might be bothersome to readers. Maybe I'm just not getting what "head hopping" actually means.


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## Ciareader (Feb 3, 2011)

Head-hopping bothers me a lot.  If by head-hopping you mean that the narrator goes off on tangents and looses the narrative thread.  I get confused and get lost and then lose interest.


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## Ray Rhamey author (Jan 6, 2011)

Matthew mentioned screenplays. When you think about it, most movies are done with an omniscient point of view. A scene can go to what's happening to any character. I used a similar technique in a couple of "large" scenes in my speculative novel. Deliberately, the point of view in one long scene--a speech--shifts through the audience that's listening. However, I made sure that each point of view snippet was its own unique "scenelette" by separating them visually from the previous and following point of view. It seems to eliminate the jarring nature of true head-hopping and give the effect of a film scene.


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## Philip N (Oct 8, 2010)

As a reader, I never noticed head-hopping. As long as I like the story and can follow it, I'm all right.


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## geoffthomas (Feb 27, 2009)

I am pretty much happy to go along with the author, whatever device is chosen.  Especially if the work is well-written.
I guess I would normally prefer one Point-of-view. A narration, or third-person perspective lets things move along nicely - flow.
But when you are getting the "thoughts" of one character - and their memories, ideas, plans, perspective - and then jump into another for their take, it can be the mental equivalent of car-sickness.
Not a problem when a chapter, or scene break, switches POV.  But from one paragraph to another in the same chapter/scene can be disorienting.

Just sayin......


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## Ray Rhamey author (Jan 6, 2011)

Car sickness is a good analogy. I think of it as mental whiplash (the in-scene kind of head-hopping. As someone pointed out, changing pov when a scene or chapter changes is not head-hopping.)


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## S.J. Harris (Feb 10, 2011)

It can be done skillfully (Larry McMurtry, anyone?), but most of the time it's just an amateurish mistake. What gets me is when an otherwise great writer briefly lapses from third-person limited to omniscient POV. Why do they do that? Because they can?


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## julieannfelicity (Jun 28, 2010)

I don't mind, based on the example you used - I feel it gives me more information, which helps me better understand the action from all ends (for me it's sensory being able to know what everyone's feeling/viewing/thinking/tasting/touching etc, at the same given moment). 

What I can't stand is what a best-selling author did when she wrote three books in one character's POV. Then in the fourth book began with that character's POV, changed it to another character's POV, and then changed it back. It was so frustrating.


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## Amanda Brice (Feb 16, 2011)

MariaESchneider said:


> It's a very common and accepted technique in romance novels to switch back and forth between the hero/heroine. It's not confusing because it's a pretty standard technique and expected.


Actually, it's neither standard nor expected to headhop in Romance.

Yes, it's standard to get both the hero and heroine's POV, but not all POV shifts are headhopping. Headhopping is when it goes back and forth, back and forth within the same scene.

What is expected in Romance is to see the H's POV in one scene, and then the h's POV in the next. Or sometimes the author might switch mid-scene, but this takes skill for it to not be headhopping. If you switch mid-scene, then you pretty much must remain in that new POV for the rest of the scene.


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## maryannaevans (Apr 10, 2010)

When I teach writing, I find that a poor grasp of point-of-view is one of the most common problems I see, and it's one of the last to be surmounted. The current fashion is to maintain one point-of-view throughout a scene. (Yes, fashions change and, yes, you can do it your own way if you're really, really good, but most people should probably go with the flow.)

If you need to go from one character's head to another to tell your story, that's your prerogative, but it's my position that you should break the scene or the chapter, and you should be very clear within the first couple of sentences that you've switched point-of-view.

I advise my students to begin by writing stories with as few points-of-view as possible, just to keep the technical difficulties to a minimum. A first-person narrative can be even better for beginners, since it forces the writer to maintain a single point-of-view, which is good discipline. My natural storytelling style is third-person with multiple points-of-view. For this reason, I am very careful to be aware of whose head I'm in and why.

You can see the change in fashion by going back and reading books written before the mid- to late-twentieth century. In _Gone with the Wind_, Margaret Mitchell dances in and out of people's heads, willy-nilly. This was the style of her time, so it doesn't bother me. Stieg Larsson does it quite a bit in _The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo_ and it bothers me to no end, because his editor should have caught it. That's what editors are for, to keep us from going out in public with our pants down.


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## Mel Comley (Oct 13, 2010)

I find it very confusing and don't practice it.

I read a Karen Rose novel recently 'Count to Ten' and she head hops in that, makes me re-read to clarify and you shouldn't have to do that as a reader.

I noticed that it happens a lot in the newer romance novels too, so maybe things are a changing!


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## spiritualtramp (Feb 3, 2011)

It's not a deal breaker to me. I used to do it quite a bit in my stories and people reacted negatively to it and so I no longer do it, preferring to keep to one POV in short stories and no more than 2-3 in novels (keeping to one "main" one even then).


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## Chryse (Oct 4, 2010)

In omniscient viewpoint, I don't see anything wrong with it, but it better be done right. I want to know who in the world I'm reading about.


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## mooshie78 (Jul 15, 2010)

With in the same scene it can be jarring.  But I like books that go into different characters heads in different scenes/chapters--i.e. George R. R. Martin's Song of Fire and Ice (assuming it's all written like the first book I'm reading now).  I like getting the different points of view.  And getting into characters heads is one advantage novels have over movies (which are my main hobby).


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## Ray Rhamey author (Jan 6, 2011)

Chryse, I absolutely agree with you on the value of being able to get into various character's heads, and that is an area where novels have the advantage over movies. One top fiction literary agent, Donald Maass, coaches writers that changing from one point of view character from one chapter to another is a strong technique for creating tension and suspense. I agree. In one of my novels in progress, I changed it from one POV to two POVs and alternate between chapters. The story is richer, and the suspense stronger. It'll be "Kindleized" pretty soon.


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

Ray Rhamey said:


> Chryse, I absolutely agree with you on the value of being able to get into various character's heads, and that is an area where novels have the advantage over movies. One top fiction literary agent, Donald Maass, coaches writers that changing from one point of view character from one chapter to another is a strong technique for creating tension and suspense. I agree. In one of my novels in progress, I changed it from one POV to two POVs and alternate between chapters. The story is richer, and the suspense stronger. It'll be "Kindleized" pretty soon.


Ray, welcome. The water is fine.

And if it isn't against the rules to mention, you have a darn good book out on writing that I've read and recommend to others. 



Chryse said:


> In omniscient viewpoint, I don't see anything wrong with it, but it better be done right. I want to know who in the world I'm reading about.


Part of the problem, Chryse, is that a lot of people don't understand the difference in omniscient and head-hopping. As I'm sure you know, they're not the same thing. In omni, you have an omniscient narrator who can look into anyone's head while head-hopping is close third that switches PoV during scenes and sometimes even from sentence to sentence.


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## AnneKAlbert (Dec 7, 2010)

I'm another reader who's bothered a great deal by head hopping, to the point that I will avoid authors who do it. Sorry, but that's the truth! As for onniscient viewpoirnt, I understand and appreciate it, but I'm not a fan. I much prefer to be inside one person's head per scene, and that's it.


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## Ashley Lynn Willis (Jan 27, 2011)

AnneKAlbert said:


> I'm another reader who's bothered a great deal by head hopping, to the point that I will avoid authors who do it. Sorry, but that's the truth! As for onniscient viewpoirnt, I understand and appreciate it, but I'm not a fan. I much prefer to be inside one person's head per scene, and that's it.


I'm with you on this. I need a # or *** for a scene change. Then I'm good with changing heads. Without the # or *** I'm left scratching my head, trying to figure out how I just went from person A's head to person B's head. It annoys the heck out of me. I think the reason it bothers me so much is that it takes me out of the story for a moment as I reorientation myself. If that makes sense.


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## Ray Rhamey author (Jan 6, 2011)

Thank you, JR, for your kind words about my book on writing. Speaking of that book, I asked top New York editors and literary agents about this issue, and here are very brief excerpts from the book of what a couple had to say.

An executive editor at a publishing house said (and this goes to Ashley's point), "I share your peeve about "head-hopping"-apt term. I think it's OK to do it so long as there is only one point of view per _discernible_ section. [RR: emphasis mine.] That is to say, so long as there's something to represent to the reader that there has been some kind of jump. A chapter or a space break or something. But when it happens in the middle of continuous action, it's a serious problem."

A literary agent said this, "'"Hopping,' as you've put it, distances the reader from the close emotional connection with the central point-of-view character in the scene, it draws attention to the fact that writing is an artifice (destroying the "suspension of disbelief" that reading a novel usually though not always entails), and it generally just plain sounds awkward."


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## Bob Mayer (Feb 20, 2011)

Depends on how well it's handled.  It's usually not a good idea, but ever read Larry McMurtry?  He's write omniscient, but goes from head to head.  He can hop from paragraph to paragraph.  But he's also won the Pulitzer Prize.  For most books, it's easier if the 'camera' that films the scene is locked down for the scene so the reader stays oriented.


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## Decon (Feb 16, 2011)

It would seem that head hopping only seems to bother authors and editors on this thread. The few reader posts that I have seen don't seem to mind, or have never even thought about it. Done well, it can add to the overall satisfaction of the read. There are many top authors who head hop.


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## Christine Kersey (Feb 13, 2011)

I don't like it. Sometimes it will throw me out of a scene when I suddenly get lost on whose head I'm in. If a scene really needs to be told from a different point of view, there needs to be a break, like using *** between paragraphs to make it clear the POV is changing.


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## mesmered (Feb 2, 2011)

Yes and no. If it is done cleverly and well with a para space between the POV's so that a reader has time to adjust, I think it's okay. In fact it can introduce a rather slick pace to the narrative. But if it's all in the one para, it just becomes a confused melange of head-turning, and I feel as if I am either at a party in a circle and frantically trying to keep up with whomever is speaking, or at the tennis watching a doubles match!

PS: Ray, I love your pieces on writer Unboxed and need to go back through the archive and find your thoughts on marketing. Then again, your blog's probably ideal! Best!


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## Dawn McCullough White (Feb 24, 2010)

I've been reading Peter Pan to my son lately, and it surprised me how much head-hopping is done in that book.

Dawn


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