# Love, Lust, and Petty Crime



## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

*Tuesday's KB book of the day!*​(2nd Nov but I'm in Australia and that's now, but it's not know anywhere else, sort of thing)​
Some people are blessed with a gift. Some people are born to excel, to be greats in their chosen field- magnificent musicians, erudite scientists, freakish athletes. But what if your particular gift is in insurance? What if you can make a claim form sing? What if you can actually understand the contract? Who do you blame?

_Love, Lust, and Petty Crime_ is about one such gifted individual. Emmet Storch was an unemployed sponger who thought he had no calling in life. All that changed when he landed a job in the call centre at the monolithic Star Insurance where, from the very first day, he was magnificent. It was as if the very essence of insurance ran through his veins and he and his telephone were as one. Irate policyholders found comfort in his soothing words; recalcitrant contractors became polite and respectful. It would have been perfect if not for his lecherous and treacherous hormones...

A satirical look at love and lust in the modern West where consumerism runs rampant and integrity can go and get stuffed.

Available at Smashwords http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/8196 for the bargain price of $2.99 in a variety of formats. Or from the Kindle Store at Amazon.











And what the hell, my collection of short stories is on there for free, but you have to look for them 

Cheers
Harclubs

_--- created Kindle ebook link_


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## emilydowns (Jul 8, 2009)

I liked the start of your description but then I hit those names. Jurgen, River, Voula. Somebody told me once you should name your characters like you would name your kids. I couldn't imagine somebody naming their daughter "Voula."


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

emilydowns said:


> I liked the start of your description but then I hit those names. Jurgen, River, Voula. Somebody told me once you should name your characters like you would name your kids. I couldn't imagine somebody naming their daughter "Voula."


Voula, as well as Roula, Koula, and Toula are all very popular names in Greece. i have several Voula's in my extended family thanks to the Greek habit of passing names down through the generations. The things we do to our children


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## emilydowns (Jul 8, 2009)

How about River or Jurgen, are those Greek names too?

I liked the first part. It was kind of believable. Until I got to River and Voula.


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

I grew up in a very multi-cultural part of Australia, and while this isn't an autobiography, it is set in my hometown of Melbourne. My friends at school included names such as Zoran, Goran, Sinisa, Gavin, Sandra, Yanoula, and my favourite, Dragona. Jurgen is a very popular German name and this particular character is named after the great German sociologist Jurgen Habermas. River is a reference to all those folk who give their kids 'unique' names. My friend Amy (short for Amethyst) is always complaining about the name her hippy parents gave her. The book is based on Hesse's _Gertrude_, and is a satire about the Modern West. The names were chosen very carefully (PS my name is really Hercules, which was also my gradfather's name, and his Grandfather's etc)


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## evpseeker (May 29, 2009)

Hey there!

Thank you for telling us about your book and welcome to the boards. I picked up a sample and I look forward to reading it soon.


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## emilydowns (Jul 8, 2009)

For each their own. I did like the beginning but if I was you I wouldn't take names from so many different places. It's like cooking, you use too many spices, it ends up tasting bad.


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## Karen_McQ (Aug 9, 2009)

Wasn't Toula the name of the main character in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding?" I loved that movie. I generally like unusual names if they aren't too hard to pronounce (I know--it's reading, but I still like to have the sound in my head) and if they are not too similar. Your premise sounds intriguing. I'm going to check out the sample.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

emily, I think you've made your point about the names. . . .and, after all, it is the author's choice.  For me, personally, names aren't a big deal. . . .as long as I can see/feel the characters behind them.  I'm pretty sure I never decided NOT to read a book because I didn't care for the character's names!


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## emilydowns (Jul 8, 2009)

I was just responding.. Just trying to help.

I think it might not be the names specifically that threw me. I think it was the fact I liked the description till I got to the following paragraph. 

"It would have been perfect if not for his lecherous and treacherous hormones. Ignoring the available and sexually adventurous River, Emmet falls in love with Voula, who just happens to be in a committed relationship with the career obsessed Jurgen. Unable to control his hormonal impulses, Emmet plots, plans, and eventually turns to white-collar crime in an effort to win the woman he loves from the man she loves."


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## Archer (Apr 25, 2009)

Hey, Harclubs! 
Spent quite a bit of time knockin' around Geelong. Went to Melbourne every weekend, and I loved it! 
Welcome!


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

emilydowns said:


> I was just responding.. Just trying to help.
> 
> I think it might not be the names specifically that threw me. I think it was the fact I liked the description till I got to the following paragraph.
> 
> "It would have been perfect if not for his lecherous and treacherous hormones. Ignoring the available and sexually adventurous River, Emmet falls in love with Voula, who just happens to be in a committed relationship with the career obsessed Jurgen. Unable to control his hormonal impulses, Emmet plots, plans, and eventually turns to white-collar crime in an effort to win the woman he loves from the man she loves."


No offence was taken, Emily, and your comments made me think about why I used the names that I did. To be honest, the paragraph in the pitch isn't one of my favourites and I've been thinking of changing it. Apart from anything else, I think it gives away too much of the plot.
And thanks to everyone for the welcome


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## emilydowns (Jul 8, 2009)

no worries. I am understandably on shaky ground, long story.
Yeah I would cut that paragraph out or make it shorter.

Good luck, hope you sell out of copies


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## Learnmegood (Jun 20, 2009)

Funny, you should see the names of some of the students in MY book, Learn Me Good!  I have Zaphonalia, Jun'tober, Samsonite, and Satan (pronounced Sha-taan)!


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## GwenNoles (Jan 25, 2010)

Your book sounds very interesting to me. I sampled it, and I liked what I saw thus far. Your spin on the lead character is fascinating.


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

And here is a coupon for 100% off the price at Smashwords http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/8196!

KU63A

Valid until 15 March 2010


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

And what the hell, here is a coupon for my collection of short stories _Symposia:Short Stories About Life From the Modern West_. Usually, $0.99 but free for Kindle Board folk until 15 March!

Coupon YM27F

and link https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/8128


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## Tangiegirl (Dec 21, 2008)

Many thanks. I also liked what I read of the sample. Not too much of a SS person but was impressed enough with the sample of _Love, Lust, and Petty Crime_ to pick up those, as well. Thanks for the coupon codes.

FWIW I would gladly have paid for _Love, Lust, and Petty Crime_.  Looking forward to reading both books.

Also, thanks for "explaining" the names. They didn't bother me, but I found your info pertaining to their origin quite interesting.


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read either or both of the books. If anyone has an inclination to write a review (positive or not, but positive is nicer  ) it would be much appreciated. On either Smashwords or Amazon for either of the books. 
Cheers
Harclubs


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

Wow, 150 downloads and almost 80 sales (OK, for $0.00, but a slae is a sale  ). I hope you all enjoyed them. A review would be nice if anyone has the time or inclination.


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

_Love, Lust, and Petty Crime_ is free for another month from Smashwords with coupon CD45F.

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/8196

And so is _Symposia_ with coupon EK68S.

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/8128

Once again, any reviews would be greatly appreciated. Or even letting me know what you think in this thread.

Cheers
Harclubs


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Harclubs,

I merged your new post with your existing book thread.  Please bookmark this thread so that you can find it when you are ready to post more news.

Ann
Book Bazaar Moderator


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

Fifteen years tooling around on internet discussion boards and still a neub *sigh*.

Thanks Ann.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

no worries. . . . . at some point Betsy and I toyed with the idea of creating an index for the Bazaar. . . .but that hasn't panned out.  Until then, you all can help us keep it neat. . . .


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

Recently reformatted and spruced up, now with ISBN _Love, Lust, and Petty Crime_ has a new coupon for all the Kindleboard folk. The new number is BZ75D. Enjoy free until 15/5/2010.

Cheers

Harclubs

PS, I'll be reformatting _Symposia_ in a couple of weeks and generating another coupon.


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

Egad! I've fallen out of the top 10 humor (or humour for non USA folk) on Smashwords!

Hopefully, this free code (KK92Y) for my collection of short stories _Symposia: Short Stories About Life in the Modern West_ at http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/8128 will help.


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

_Symposia: Short Stories About Life In The Modern West_ has been reformatted to make it easier to read, and still 100% off with coupon KK92Y.

Cheers

Harclubs


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

What the hell, since Amazon seems to be changing their thinking on free books, Symposia: Short Stories from the Modern West is now *FREE* at Smashwords.
Here the link:

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/8128


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## KBoards Admin (Nov 27, 2007)

I'm pleased to announce that Love, Lust, and Petty Crime is our next KB Book of the Day!


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## Herc- The Reluctant Geek (Feb 10, 2010)

Woot! LLaPC is KB's book of the day on 2 November. I shouldn't feel nervous, but I do. What if nobody buys my book? It'll be just like my fifth birthday party all over again. I still get nightmares. Thankfully, when I get nervous, I write. In fact, LLaPC was written in the 12 soul crushing weeks between submitting my doctoral thesis and getting a result back. 

Not that the wait was worth it. As usual, I split the field. The first examiner was glowing in his praise. He loved it. Best piece of work he'd seen in years. The second examiner hated it. He asked if English was my first language, whether I had actually read anything of note before submitting such tripe, and suggested that I pursue a career in accountancy because no matter how bad my accountancy skills may turn out to be, my research skills will still be worse. The third examiner said 'meh' and suggested I find something to write about before wasting his time again...


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