# Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month I'll share our story with you.



## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

*Coping with breast cancer.*

In the fall of 1995 we were living the good life. We'd just bought our dream house and moved in the previous July and were looking forward to our first holiday season in our new home. Only one thing placed a cloud over our lives at that point in time. My wife had a mysterious bloody discharge from one breast. She had also lost a considerable amount of weight and I was beginning to become concerned.

My wife was reluctant to agree to go to a doctor but finally I managed to elicit a promise from her that she would go to see a physician the day after Thanksgiving. That morning we got into our car for the drive to the doctor never suspecting that our lives were about to change forever.

I waited in the waiting room while my wife saw her gynecologist. I saw her come back out just a few minutes after she had been escorted back to the examination room. She was pale and said that the doctor had told her that we had to go to the hospital at once for a mammogram and that the doctor was calling ahead to get her worked in that day.

She broke down and cried on the drive to the hospital and expressed her sense of dread saying, "The doctor says she's afraid it might be breast cancer." That was the first time I heard the words breast cancer in relation to my wife.

The doctor was true to her word and the people at the hospital were expecting my wife when we arrived. She was immediately hustled back into the radiology area where she underwent her first mammography at age 35.

Tensely I waited, not yet comprehending what was happening. My mind seemed numb, almost as if I had consumed a vast amount of alcohol. I guess I was in a sort of state of shock. I nervously thumbed through some brochures sitting in a rack in the waiting room. I didn't have long to wait. Soon my wife was back and she told me we now had to go to see another doctor in the city.

With an ever growing sense of dread we headed to our car and drove to the next doctor's office where we scheduled an appointment to see the doctor the next day. We signed and filled out tons of paperwork in preparation for that visit and then left.

Still not sure of what we were dealing with we went home and decided to wait about contacting the family until we actually knew something that we could share with them.

The next day we nervously went to see the doctor. By now I had convinced myself that this was all a huge mistake and that the physician had made a mistake. My wife couldn't possibly have breast cancer. In the doctor's office my wife was examined and then the doctor showed us the mammogram and explained that it was suspicious. He wanted to do a procedure called needle aspiration. This involves piercing the breast with a long needle and extracting a small sample of the lump. That sample is then examined by experts who confirm whether the sample is cancerous or benign. I decided to wait outside for that procedure.

We went home that afternoon and talked about the situation. Both of us were in a state of denial which fed off each other in a sort of symbiosis. We had convinced ourselves that this was all a big mistake and that the greedy doctors were just milking our insurance. I'm ashamed to admit that reaction, but it's the truth and just goes to show you the desperation of our denial. Let me state here and now for the record that every member of the medical community involved in my wife's treatment were kindhearted professionals who never did anything but their best for her.

We returned to see the doctor after the results were in from the needle aspiration. It was now confirmed that my wife had breast cancer and the doctor laid out her options patiently and as kindly as possible. I remember the nails of her hand digging into my palm as I held her hand while we listened. When he finished speaking I realized that I must have missed something and looked at him as I asked him to repeat the question.

"I was asking which option you wanted to pursue," the doctor replied kindly. 
I had to say, "I'm sorry Doctor, but I don't think we really absorbed all of that. Would you mind explaining it again?" To his credit the doctor kindly repeated my wife's options.

When he finished I looked to my wife but she shook her head and said, "I don't want to decide this right now."

I didn't think it good to put off the decision because the doctor had indicated that the cancer was the rapid spreading kind and I would have pressed her like a fool. The doctor seeing this interceded and prevented me from interfering when he said that she didn't have to decide then and there. He scheduled an appointment to see her in two days and we left.

That night we sat discussing my wife's options. She could opt for a double mastectomy, a single mastectomy of the affected breast, or a Lumpectomy that would remove the cancer and a small amount of healthy tissue surrounding the lump. I'm afraid I wasn't very useful in that conversation. I was terrified that I would give the wrong advice so when she asked me I simply told her that it was her decision to make and explained the options to her one by one. This was necessary because in the shock of everything that had happened, her mind seemed to be dumping the information.

The double mastectomy would insure that she never had a recurrence of breast cancer. The single mastectomy would insure that she never had a recurrence in the affected breast. The lumpectomy would remove the cancer and would be followed by chemotherapy and then radiation therapy however there would be a chance of recurrence. After explaining her options I told her that my only goal was her continued presence in my life. I would support any decision that she made as long as it involved getting well.

She eliminated the double mastectomy as too extensive at that point and we then discussed the remaining options again. After a lengthy discussion she decided that she wanted to go with the lumpectomy and follow up treatments. I supported her decision because the doctor had assured us that if she opted for that procedure and there was a recurrence, her odds would be the same as the odds she was currently facing.

That night we broke the news to our respective families, both of which were shocked to hear that my wife was now battling the disease. Everyone was very supportive and kind. I explained the options when my wife faltered and handed me the phone. Some family members questioned the wisdom of the option that she had selected, but I defended her choice pointing out what the doctor had said regarding the odds. I also used an analogy by pointing out that if I had an injured finger I'd want it amputated and not the entire hand so I could understand my wife's position.

No one actually said it, but I had a sense that perhaps they thought that I had persuaded her to take an option that would retain the greater portion of the affected breast. That bothered me a little but I knew that simply wasn't the case. I would have accepted her decision for the double mastectomy because it wasn't her figure I was concerned about. My concern was that I would lose my wife and that thought was terrifying. Compared to that loss anything was preferable. But rationally I could relate to her desire to preserve as much of her body as possible.

The day my wife had her lumpectomy we were both overwhelmed by the support of the family members who were in attendance and sat in the large waiting room while she underwent the surgery. It wasn't just our immediate family either. Some of my Aunts were there as was my step-father's sister. I can't overemphasize the importance of the moral support and what it meant to me as the time dragged by in that waiting room. The doctor had informed us that they would do the lumpectomy and then do an axillary lymph node dissection.

When the doctor finally came to the waiting room to see me I was a nervous wreck. He informed me that my wife had come through the surgery just fine and was in recovery where she would remain for a while under the careful observation of the staff before being taken to her room. Then the doctor gave me the bad news. Several of the lymph nodes showed evidence that the cancer had spread. My wife had the fast spreading invasive cancer.

If not for the support of our families I don't know how I would have gotten past the next hour. My wife's oldest sister stepped forward and asked all the right questions as my mind reeled in shock from the news. She then patiently explained to me what the next steps would entail as my mind had stopped registering the doctors words at some point.

When my wife was wheeled out of recovery I walked beside her bed and held her hand as she was wheeled through the halls. Flowers had arrived in her room while she was in surgery. The people at her factory had chipped in and sent a nice bouquet and an eloquent card that expressed their support for my wife. I remember that she cried as she read the card.

Then the moment I had dreaded finally came and my wife asked me what the doctor had said. Some of the family members had suggested that I keep the truth from her for at least a while. I even considered doing so, but as she looked into my eyes I could tell that she saw the truth in my face and in my eyes. We've always had an honest relationship and had been married for years at that point in time. I told her the truth at that point and she cried again. Her oldest sister once more proved an invaluable ally as she reassured my wife that this wasn't a death sentence. The doctor was fairly certain that the cancer had not spread beyond the lymph nodes.

The nurses in the hospital were wonderful during my wife's overnight stay. One of the nurses taught me how to strip the drain tube attached to my wife's breast to prevent it from stopping up and this was my first experience at assisting personally in my wife's medical care.

The second day of my wife's recovery the factory where she worked telephoned our home. There were some forms that I needed to pick up to fill out for her medical leave. On the way to pick up those forms and turn in her work uniforms I stopped at a market and purchased a thank you card and inserted the letter that I had typed explaining to the people just how their thoughtful gift of flowers and the card had lifted her spirits and indeed that was true, for the tears she'd shed when reading the card were from a sense of joy and awe that her coworkers held her in such high esteem.

The receptionist in the factory asked me to wait while she went to get the Personnel Manager. The Personnel Manager was a warm and friendly lady who immediately inquired about my wife's condition. I told the lady that she was on the mend but that she was still in a great deal of discomfort from the surgery. She gave me the papers that would have to be signed and filled out. She had gone to the trouble of filling out most of the paperwork for us. I thanked her for her kindness and the card and flowers.

I then gave the Personnel Manager the card which she read and handed to the receptionist to read as she read the letter that I had enclosed. Her eyes clouded with tears as she read the letter and I knew she'd reached the point where I'd described the moment of joy their thoughtful gift had brought to an otherwise gloomy day. She shared the letter with the receptionist who reacted in similar fashion.

I thanked them both and asked that they inform my wife's coworkers as to her condition and her gratitude for their thoughtfulness. I reference this incident because it was an awakening of awareness for both my wife and me. Neither of us really understood the esteem with which our friends, family and coworkers held us until that week. It was a moving experience which helped reinforce in our minds that we were so alone and alienated from our friends and families as we had first thought would be the case as we battled the disease.

A week after the surgery my wife visited her surgeon for a follow up appointment. It was at this meeting that the surgeon told us he had good news. The cancer was hormone receptive and therefore he recommended *hormonal therapy*. Of course I had no idea what this meant and he had to explain it all. He recommended Tamoxifen to be taken for five years after the chemotherapy course was completed. The doctor assured us that this was very good news as it is easier to prevent a recurrence of a hormone receptive cancer. He also scheduled my wife for her first appointment with the oncologist in the neighboring city of Huntsville Alabama.

Our first trip into the Huntsville oncology facility was simply amazing. To this day I can't forget the quality of the professionals who work in that section of the medical community. The doctor was great, but the protocol nurse was simply an angel. Indeed the entire staff worked diligently to treat patients who are more frightened than they have ever been in their lives. Their approach in my wife's case was to calmly work us through everything step by step.

The protocol nurse advised her that she might want to look into a turban or wig, as the chemotherapy would cause hair loss. A week later we returned to oncology for my wife's first chemotherapy session. We'd heard all of the horror stories about how sick these treatments make the patients and it was with a great sense of dread that my wife took her first treatment which was administered via IV.

I remember trying to cheer her up by talking quietly to her as the small IV bag dripped the medication into her body. I even managed to make another patient smile as I told my wife a joke I'd recently heard and saved to use upon that otherwise solemn occasion. It's funny, some of the little things I remember. 
We were greatly encouraged in the days following that first chemotherapy session. Though my wife felt a bit queasy, there was none of the debilitating sickness that we'd heard so much about. We had yet to learn that the chemotherapy would have a cumulative affect and the sickness would get geometrically worse with each successive treatment. Soon enough we would experience that reality check.

During this period of time my wife's sisters and nieces were a Godsend. They came to our home to help out in a major way with deep cleaning everything in the place. This was necessary because of the breakdown of a patient's immune system after losing so many lymph nodes and taking chemotherapy. Everything has to be as sanitary as humanly possible. Never being the greatest of house cleaners, I did what I could after work of course, but my efforts were terribly inadequate to our needs for perfection. My sister and mother also helped with the cleaning and often brought in meals as did my wife's sisters to insure that we had decent food while I experimented and learned to cook acceptable food. My wife had gone from surgical recovery to chemotherapy and was weak. None of us wanted her attempting housework or cooking if it was preventable.

During this time frame I also learned to do the shopping and do it right. This was a duty that my wife had always considered her domain and I seldom ventured into a grocery store for more than a handful of items. I didn't know where anything was and had to learn everything. I also learned to wash and dry the clothes and of course put everything away. These were tasks she normally took care of, but I found them pleasant and to this day still do the washing and drying, but she puts the clothes away citing that I never have learned to do this task to her satisfaction.

We continued to make the trips to Huntsville oncology every two weeks for the treatments and with each successive treatment the side affects grew progressively worse. As I recall it was just before the third chemotherapy treatment that my wife's hair began to fall out. Two days later I shaved her head. She cried as I cut her lovely hair down to the scalp in preparation for the shaving. With an aching heart, I assured her that it would come back. When we finished with her I shaved my own head in moral support and then our fifteen year old son volunteered to make it unanimous and his support was strictly unsolicited.

We had purchased a wig through a beauty shop just a quarter mile down the road from our home. The beautician was a kind hearted woman and is a family friend. She got the wig for us at her cost. My wife wore the wig out in public but preferred a turban when she was home.

Soon after this incident the chemotherapy side affects that we'd thought weren't going to be so bad got much, much worse. My wife would be incredibly sick the first and second nights after a session. Neither of us got much sleep at night and I can still to this day close my eyes and hear her groans of misery. She began to complain of a foul smell emanating from her skin but I assured her that I smelled nothing unusual. At first I couldn't detect the odor that she was referencing but that soon changed. I never did tell her that there was a bad odor associated with the chemotherapy. She was miserable enough without thinking that her odor could offend people. It never offended me of course. I understood the source of the odor and that was frankly one worry that she could do without. It is worth noting that our fifteen year old son did reference an odor once in her presence. As my wife looked at him I shook my head, gesturing for him to be quiet and blamed the odor on my cooking, which come to think of it, might well have been the source of what he smelled.

After the first few chemotherapy sessions my wife's surgeon recommended that she have a shunt embedded in her chest for the administering of the medication. This was necessary because the powerful drug was literally damaging her veins through which the chemotherapy was being administered. The surgery to implant this device in my wife's upper chest region seemed to be harder on her than the original surgery. The recuperation also seemed to be more difficult for her.

At around the mid point of my wife's chemotherapy I began to run low on my remaining vacation days. I had managed to use them carefully by working most days and taking vacation days only the first two days after the chemotherapy and of course in the aftermath of the surgeries. Our brother-in-law who was married to my wife's sister understood the situation and he stepped forward and volunteered to take my wife to the doctor's appointments and for chemotherapy thus allowing me to work and keep ends met to a degree. Our bill structure was pretty much tied to a dual income and with the loss of my wife's income things were beginning to get tough. My parents helped by waving the house payment one month.

With my brother-in-law stepping in to assist, I managed to keep us afloat somehow. Once more the assistance of our families was a Godsend. It seemed every time they visited they brought in groceries and household cleaning supplies. The oldest sister and the one next to my wife in age were fantastic. God bless them for their kindness. I will never forget what they did for us and would do anything for either of them. The sister next to my wife in age was the mother of the nieces who helped with the cleaning and the wife of the brother-in-law who was himself a cancer survivor. His moral support for us was incredibly beneficial. He was without a doubt the kindest, most unselfish and giving man I've ever known. Sadly the disease came back in his case and he passed away a few years back. My wife never forgot his kindness and would visit him to try to cheer him up and lend her moral support. She was devastated when he passed away. Everyone who knew that gentleman was devastated.

There were a battery of other medical tests from CT scans and an MRI to x-rays and blood work. My brother-in-law took my wife to many of these tests so that I could continue to save as much time off as possible. These tests were necessary to determine if the cancer had spread to other organs.

The last two chemotherapy sessions were by far the worst. My wife had a total of eight of these treatments but after the seventh I was not at all certain that she would take the final treatment. She was tired of being so sick and miserable after the treatments and was ready to say enough. This turn of events terrified me because we had been assured that if she took all of the treatments and medications then there was a good chance of affecting a cure.

Yet at the height of her sickness after the treatment she was adamant that the seventh would be the last. Fortunately, she had a change of heart as she got better after a few days. The last chemotherapy after affects were devastating. I lost track of the times that she threw up and getting her to eat anything at all was very difficult. I couldn't even tempt her with the popsicles which had comforted her after several of the treatments.

A few days after that final treatment we got a call from oncology. My wife's white blood cell count was down and they needed us to come in for a supply of injections which I was to give her daily to build her blood back up.

We were on Church street, about a quarter mile from the oncology building when a wave of sickness hit my wife and she asked me to pull over so that she could throw up. I immediately slowed and was looking for a place to pull off the road, but before I could stop she threw open her door and leaned precariously out to vomit. I grabbed her by the arm to keep her from falling out of the car as I brought it to a stop. In the rearview mirror I saw a police squad car and figured they'd stop but they just drove around us.

In the oncology facility one of the nurses patiently worked with me to teach me step by step how I was to administer the premeasured injections, then under her supervision I gave my wife her first injection of this drug. I think giving her that first injection is probably one of the hardest things I had to do during her treatment phase. The absolute last thing I wanted to do was cause my wife pain or discomfort but you do what you have to do for those you love. Someone had to give her the injections and at least if I stepped up and took care of that she could have them at home where she was most comfortable. I was able to do what was required though I never did get over the paranoia regarding breaking a needle. Thank goodness that never happened. We were both greatly relieved the day that I gave her the last injection.

In the aftermath of the chemotherapy there came a brief period of time of recuperation and then the radiation therapy began. I took her to the first and the afore-mentioned brother-in-law took her to several. By now I had used all of my available vacation and my Personnel Manager had me take family medical leave for the time needed to take care of my wife. The last surgery that my wife had was the one to have the embedded shunt removed. The surgery was hard on her. The recuperation took longer than her original surgery or so it seemed to me.

Through all of this our families were supportive and I don't see how we could have gotten through it without them. I think a special bond formed between myself and my wife's family during this ordeal. I believe a deep mutual respect developed. Deeper than the normal respect. The same is true for the relationship that my wife has with my family all of whom were as stricken by stark fear as was I when I first learned of my wife's cancer.

My wife resisted all efforts on the part of the medical community to get her into a support group because no support groups included the spouses. I encouraged her to go and not worry about me, but she was adamant that outside the medical community I had been her caregiver and most closely shared her experiences. She insisted that together we would get through the aftermath just as we had faced the ordeal. With strong family support this was possible for us. In her thinking we already had a support group. One which didn't exclude the spouse and had been there for her from day one. This is not meant to be a criticism of support groups. They do good work. I reference it only because the spousal exclusion was the reason that my wife never officially joined a support group. I wish she had done so. I'm sure that there were things that such a group would have been able to assist her with when it comes to dealing with issues related to breast cancer. But my wife had been through so much that I was unwilling to press the issue.

Then the Tamoxifen hormonal pill treatments began. Tamoxifen has several side effects but the one that was most notable in my wife's case were the wild mood swings. The first two years were the worst. It got bad a few times but I do not regret those times. She was taking a medication that could prevent a recurrence and possibly save her life. Therefore any inconvenience for myself and our son was tolerated good naturedly because we knew it was the medication causing the mood swings and she is more than worth a few sharp comments. I mention this as a caution to men whose wives are taking that medication. If they suffer mood swings then always remember it's the medication causing this. Be patient. I promise that phase won't last.


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## stitchbug (Sep 14, 2009)

I have tears in my eyes.
I'm so glad she's OK


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

stitchbug said:


> I have tears in my eyes.
> I'm so glad she's OK


Thank you. I share that sentiment daily. The experience changed us both. In some ways it changed us for the better. Always close it drew us closer still. She's my best friend in the world.

I posted this in the hopes that in some way the story of what happened to us might someday help other couples confronted by this disease.


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

Thank you.
deb


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

You are welcome.


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## madrye (Jan 8, 2009)

Thank you for sharing your story. It's amazing how such a horrible thing as a disease that can take your life away from you brings so many people together. Not trying to take away from your very honest post but thought I would share my experiance with you.
My mom died 4 years ago this November. Not of cancer or any disease, just age. She had a brilliant life, 8 wonderful kids if I do say so myself and a husband who cherished her. I went into such a great and deep depression that honestly I didn't think I would be able to bring myself out of it. I made myself go to work everyday as I had my children to support and then I would come home and go to bed. I hated the world because how dare anyone have the ability to laugh, didn't they know how much I hurt? I couldn't understand why the world kept going when my whole life just stopped. She was buried on my daughter's birthday and that was the first time of many in the following year I failed my child. There was no celebration, not even a happy birthday. I would have traded half a dozen of my daughter's birthdays for 1 more day with my mother at that point.
My husband begged me to get help, go speak to anyone, find a group online, just something to help bring me out of my funk. To make him stop with his relentless pestering, I went to my family doctor. She refused to give me any kind of drugs as my depression wasn't someone with a life long history. My depression was brought on by my own misery. I needed to find my own way out, no matter how long it took or I'd forever be in the hands of hell known as depression.
One day laying on the couch watching television I saw a commercial for "The Weekend to End Breast Cancer." I saw all of these woman crying and laughing and so wanted to be able to be one of them. I signed up that evening and began my fundraising efforts for breast cancer. I knew nobody who has ever had the horrible disease but I threw myself into this project with such determination that one day I realized I wasn't crying anymore. 
As silly as it may sound but breast cancer healed me. It gave me something to get up for everyday. It made me put my feet on the floor every single morning. It made me answer emails to friends I've neglected but more importantly it put me back in my own life. I made my daughter my team mate (along with a handful of friends) and seeing her look at me with such pride in her eyes was the biggest turning point in my depression.


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Your story has touched my heart. You couldn't know it because I did not relate this in my original post, but breast cancer fundamentally changed my wife emotionally as well. Though she was never a selfish or standoffish person, in the wake of her experiences with the disease I saw her transform into a much warmer and giving person.

There are two way we humans tend to respond to such adversity as my wife endured and indeed as you cite in your example. Some go introverted and suffer depression as you cite in your case. Others become more extroverted and giving.

Sadly, you encountered the first scenario before rising above that to enjoy the second. I am sorry for your loss. I know well the pain of losing a parent. I have also experienced the misfortune of knowing the emotionally crippling loss of a child. I understand the depths of the horrible depression you have endured. It was the same for me when we lost our child.

But you rose above that depression as did I. I am happy for you on that score.

May God Bless you and keep you safe.

Sincerely,
Ricky


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## Anju  (Nov 8, 2008)

Thank you Ricky


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

You're welcome.


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## 911jason (Aug 17, 2009)

Ricky,

Thank you so much for taking the time to relate your experience here. My wife is 35, and I have to tell you I have many times wondered how in the world I would function without her. We started dating when we were 14, so even at my "young" age of 36, she's been in my life far longer then she hasn't. I hope and pray that I will NEVER have to find out or even seriously consider the possibility of being without her.

I read the 2nd half of your post through tears that began when your son shaved his head. Sounds like an excellent young man you've got there. =)

P.S. I feel so petty right now for thinking all weekend how dumb the NFL coaches/refs/players all looked with their pink accessories. Just being honest...


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Jason,

Since your wife is 35 then she is the same age my wife Sue was when she contracted the disease. Early detection is the key to survival. I recommend that you and your wife educate yourselves as to the warning signs and early detection methods.

Thank you for your response and the compliment regarding our son. Thank you also for the compassion that is evident in your reply.

May God Bless you and your wife.

sincerely,
Ricky


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## Anju  (Nov 8, 2008)

At my age (gezerette) I know and have known many many many people with cancer, prostate, breast, Non-hodgkins, colon, I could go on and on.  This is actually one of the best descriptions of the pain, agony and wonderness I have ever seen.  I have several friends, right now, in the throes of chemo and wish there was something I could do to alleviate their pain.

I loved all the pink, and hope it continues throughout the whole month.  Bothered by the non-pink baseball though.

I agree with jason with your son's support, a terrific young man in your family, and you too.


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

I'm so glad that your wife is doing well. We just lost our neighbor 2 weeks ago to breast cancer. She was only 56 and I miss her terribly. She fought long and hard, but was to far advanced when diagnosed to really have a chance. I had a scare 3 years ago and remember that 24 hours of waiting to hear if my life was going to change. I was lucky and I pray for all of those that are fighting cancer. Thanks for sharing your story.


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Dona,

I hope your friends make full recoveries.

My son and I didn't think it a great sacrifice. My wife was just so upset to lose her hair that we wanted to show our moral support. In this way she needn't feel as self conscious in our home if she appeared in our presence without the wig or turban. In our situation I think it was the right thing to do.

There is something that you can do to help your friends recovering from chemo. A card expressing your support and love lets them know that they are not alone. It's odd how estranged from society you feel as you battle that disease. A card is written proof that loving friends are out there who care and have not forgotten you. My wife treasured such reminders as I noted in the article. She didn't always feel up to extended company, but once the worst of the post chemotherapy sickness passed she often went through her card collection to remind herself that many friends were praying for her. This moral support fortified her spirit and helped to reinforce her will to continue the battle despite the crippling sickness of the last few treatments.

Thank you for your warmth and concern.

God Bless all people such as yourself who care and remember the afflicted.

sincerely,
Ricky


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Kathy,

I am sorry for your loss, but happy that your situation was a false alarm. Early detection is the key to surviving the disease. To that end I have often encouraged friends and coworkers to seek to educate themselves in this regard.

You are welcome. I shared the story in the hopes that it might help other couples at some point. Feel free to save it in a file to forward to people you think need to be aware of the information. 

sincerely,
Ricky


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## mumsicalwhimsy (Dec 4, 2008)

Ricky, Nicely stated.  
I always dreaded "cancer" as one of my greatest fears.
Then, it came into my life and I grew to realize how it blessed me.  Crazy, eh?
7 more months of Aromasin and I will reach the 5 year mark.
Thank you for explaining the process to others.... it is a wild ride.


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

I'm sorry to hear that you have battled the disease, but happy that you are approaching the five year mark. The five year benchmark is a good start! I look forward to hearing from you on the twentieth.

I agree that it sounds crazy, but it's true. The reactions of those who love the patient can leave some people feeling blessed.

Thank you for sharing your personal experience. I understand how difficult that can be. And Oh yes. It is indeed a wild ride.

May God Bless you and bring you comfort and healing.

sincerely,
Ricky


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

I know it's not October yet, but it's not that far away.  I live in a small town and can schedule my mammograms with ease.  Some of you live in much larger towns and cities, and therefore need to call ahead earlier.  Please call and make your appointments, and guys, remind your wives, mothers, sisters, daughters to do the same.
Thank you,
deb

Ricky, your story is moving no matter how many times I read it.


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Thank you drenee,

That essay is included in one of my books. Here's a coupon for you, so you can get a free copy for your Kindle.

Adventures in Reading. 
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/6651 
Coupon Code: ZM45D

I wrote that piece in the hopes of helping couples who are dealing with the disease. It doesn't cover every aspect of the problems, but it covers many. Feel free to pass the coupon on to as many people as you like.

Drenee's advice is sound. Early detection is the key to surviving breast cancer. If we'd caught my wife's cancer significantly later, the essay would have probably had a much different ending. 

Sincerely,
Ricky


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

Ricky,

Thank you for sharing your story. If you don't mind me asking, what is your wife's name? I'd like to add it to the shirts I'll be wearing during the 3-Day Walk for a Cure in October. 

Deb thank you for bumping this post.


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Hi there,

Her name is Sue Sides. On her behalf, I'd like to say thank you. I know she'll feel honored. If you place photos of the event on a website, please let me know. I know Sue would love to see photos of the participants. I usually manage to find a few on the web to share with her. She is always touched that so many endure so much to help increase awareness and find a cure.

Thank you again,
Ricky


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## donna callea (Dec 25, 2009)

Ricky,
I see your posts all the time.   But until I read this today, I didn't have a clue what a great guy you truly are.  Thank you for sharing, and I wish you and Sue all the best.

Donna


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Donna,

Thank you. That was a really nice thing to read the first thing in the morning.

Sincerely,
Ricky


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## Bridget S (May 23, 2010)

Ricky,
I'm so happy your wife is doing well.  Thirty-five is too young!!  It just breaks my heart to think about everything your family has gone through!  My aunt had the same type of cancer and also had a Lumpectomy.  It has been five years now that she has been cancer-free!!!!
I was diagnosed with melanoma at age 34.  I know how stressful it can be to get a terrible medical diagnosis.  Honestly, I remember my doctor calling me with the results on a Tuesday morning at 8:20 am, and then the whole week from when I found out to when I had surgery(and in the meantime I had a zillion tests run and trips to the hospital), is a complete blank.  I think I just blocked it all out.  
I'm glad to hear things are going well.  This Sept. I am running the Susan G. Komen 5K in our town.


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Bridget,

Thank you. I'm glad to hear that your Aunt is doing well, and I hope that the same holds true for both of you in the years to come. 

We had a few of those mental block days that you're relating, so I know what you mean. It was as if our minds just didn't want to deal with all the mental trauma.

Thank you for all that you're doing to promote awareness and raise money to find a cure. 

Sincerely,
Ricky


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## Edward C. Patterson (Mar 28, 2009)

This is a great thing to do Ricky.

Ed Patterson


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

You know, Ed, I don't think I've ever told you how much some people I know thought of _Dime a Dip_. My wife loved it and it's one of my mom's favorites in the book. It's an honor to be acquainted with you and all of the other authors who submitted material for _Virtual Imaginings_.

For those who may not know what I'm talking about, _Virtual Imaginings_ is an anthology put together by the community of Kindleboard authors last year in an effort to raise money for a cure for breast cancer. Archer did the cover

http://www.amazon.com/Virtual-Imaginings-ebook/dp/B002V1I3V4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1276969244&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Virtual-Imaginings-Liam-Parker/dp/1932461221/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

sincerely,
Ricky


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