# Going Gray



## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

OK, so I downloaded and started reading Going Gray by Anne Kreamer because I recently stopped dyeing my hair as well. At 43, I'm younger than Ms. Kreamer and I may also have themythical older-guys-look-distinguished thing going for me. But, it was still a difficult decision to let my hair revert to it's natural colors.

In the past, I sometimes let my temples peak through:










But I always only allowed strategically placed gray. This is my hair the way it looks today (well, 2 months ago):









I went through the different issues around whether or not I'll still be sexually attractive or if I'll look old and all the associated insecurities with no longer being 23 .... I still have insecure flashes but I'm usually happy with my 'new' look and my partner is perfectly happy with my hair looking however I want it to look so there's no problems other than in my own brain ...

... and to be honest, I get flirted with just as often with the gray as without it by just as varied a set of genders and age groups - which tends to kill my internal voices telling my I'm old.

What I'm wondering is what you other guys and dolls think about graying, your own hair color(s), dyeing, aging and all that ...


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

Guys look wonderful with gray hair and of course you're still going to get flirted with.  
I, on the other hand, being female will never get flirted with again if I let my hair go gray.  
As a matter of fact I've recently started getting less blond highlights and I get less and less
attention.  Of course, it doesn't matter, since I'm not on the market, but still.

Your gray looks wonderful and you should not worry about it.  
Men are so lucky.
deb


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

I have for several years had highlights in my hair. . . .I don't have a problem with going gray. . . .my natural color at this point is probably salt and pepper. . . but I do like a little brightness. . . .so I do highlights. . . .not to _cover_ the gray, just to complement it.

The men in my family would mostly be happy to have gray hair. . . . .the alternative is none at all. . . . . .


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

My motto is: better living through chemicals! I spend a bundle to be a blonde, but blonde I am!

Geoffrey, you've been with your partner for 21 years. Who are you doing all this flirting with, anyway?

(PS, I think your hair looks just fine.)

L


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## Scheherazade (Apr 11, 2009)

I thought this was going to be some sort of lampoon on the whole "going green" thing


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

drenee said:


> Of course, it doesn't matter, since I'm not on the market, but still.


I think it's funny that we all think this way. I may have been off the market for 21 years but I still want to know that I still have it....  ... well that and flirting is just plain fun.


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## summerteeth (Dec 23, 2009)

I think grey looks nice 

P.S., I have read recently in the tabs that purposely dying your hair grey is all the rage for young Brit hipsters.


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

Geoffrey said:


> I think it's funny that we all think this way. I may have been off the market for 21 years but I still want to know that I still have it....  ... well that and flirting is just plain fun.


Flirting is fun!! Thank goodness DF doesn't read and is not a member here. Shhh, don't tell him. 
deb


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Flirting is fun and healthy and a harmless way to feel good about yourself and attractive even if you're off the market (or not currently interested in being in it).

Some people look good with gray and partly gray hair, I think it might have to do with what your natural color was beforehand.  People with dark hair get this neat salt-and-pepper look, my Dad has that, and Ann here does too, and it just gets a little "saltier" over time.  Whereas if you start out medium-blond, it just goes kind of dingy gray.    Unfortunately I'm in the latter category, so I started doing highlights to hide that.

Deb, the blond vs non-blond thing is true  --  I never really believed it, but after 40 years as a blonde and 9 years as a chemically-assisted blonde, I went dark-chestnut-reddish a couple of months ago and I actually notice a difference in the way strangers react to me.  Had I pondered this beforehand, I would have guessed that there are hundreds of highlighted blondes around and far fewer redheads, so it would be more noticeable, but quite the opposite is happening.  An interesting effect of a few measly chemicals!  (I haven't decided yet when or if I'm going back to being blonde.)


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

I did the red thing for a while .... but gray holds onto red much tighter than my brown areas so I started looking like I was turning into Bozo after a while.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Hmmm,  that's not good...


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## MrTsMom (Jun 13, 2009)

I colored my hair until I became a grandmother (at a very young 45!). I figure I earned these gray hairs. Actually, my natural color is extremely dark, almost black. My gray, it turns out, is a very shiny silver. I'm really liking the contrast!

And, Geoffrey, guys look great gray. Except the scruffy gray beards. Yuck.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

MrTsMom said:


> I colored my hair until I became a grandmother (at a very young 45!). I figure I earned these gray hairs. Actually, my natural color is extremely dark, almost black. My gray, it turns out, is a very shiny silver. I'm really liking the contrast!
> 
> And, Geoffrey, guys look great gray. Except the scruffy gray beards. Yuck.


I know plenty of guys who dye their hair but also let their facial hair go gray. I used to sport a goatee but once my chin grayed, it came off. And I have to admit that while I'm OK with my gray head hair, I'm not OK with my gray facial hair.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

While flirting may be fun for the flirter, the flirtee who is lead astray into thinking s/he has a chance may not find it so much fun.  

Anyway, I've never colored my hair or beard, the former now starting to get a quite noticeable amount of gray amongst the light brown -- in just the right (and very rarely found) lighting it almost looks blond at times. My beard, on the other hand is mostly gray now, almost outright white in places.

But I've never really worried that much about such things. Hmmm...maybe that's why I'm still single?


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

Nog, you're right, and I would never flirt and lead someone on.  I was a volunteer secretary for a sportsman's club for about 3 years.  There were a few woman, but for the most part, all men.  I was very very careful how I behaved.  For one thing, most of the men were married and that's an absolute no no in my book.  Secondly, all of their wives could probably  kick my butt.  There's a big difference in leading someone on and playful teasing.  When I first started I got teased a lot.  I'm sure I was being tested.  But I gave as good as I got, and I'm sure that's why I lasted for three years.  I loved helping out there and miss it.  
deb


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## threeundertwo (Jul 25, 2009)

But was the book good?  I downloaded it but haven't read it yet.

Like my oldest brother, I started going gray in college, when I was about 20 years old.  My natural hair is now a dusty dull whitish gray and I color it so I don't look 80 years old.  I'm 47.  I don't color it to flirt or because I care what others think, I color it so I don't get depressed looking in the mirror.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

The book was good but I stopped 40% of the way through it.  I knew it was written from a female perspective - but it felt just too feminine for my comfort.  it was like I was looking into some foreign, woman-centric  (chicky?) world where I didn't really belong.  

... and I felt she had made her points and was now elaborating on them ....


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## Hoosiermama (Dec 28, 2009)

> I colored my hair until I became a grandmother (at a very young 45!). I figure I earned these gray hairs. Actually, my natural color is extremely dark, almost black. My gray, it turns out, is a very shiny silver. I'm really liking the contrast!


At 52 my hair is almost completely white. I've been dying it since about a year before my oldest son got married, but am thinking of going gray. My natural color was almost the shade of yours. My dyed hair is a light brown. How did you go back gray? I'm just afraid of how it would look...but due to family circumstances, I've had to be away from home (and hairdresser) for over a month. The white roots (lovingly referred to as my "landing strip" are getting pretty long. Now I'm debating whether to get it colored when I go home tomorrow, or use a wash-out rinse on it and let it grow out. Then again, I'm afraid as it fades, I'll wind up with purple hair or something.

Help! How did others go back gray? Let it grow out? Semi-permanent color? Ack!


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## Mike D. aka jmiked (Oct 28, 2008)

At mid-60s, I've got plenty of gray hair but my mom didn't have a single gray hair even at almost 80 years of age. It was still a uniform brown. It drove her friends crazy!   

Mike


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## MrTsMom (Jun 13, 2009)

Hoosiermama said:


> At 52 my hair is almost completely white. I've been dying it since about a year before my oldest son got married, but am thinking of going gray. My natural color was almost the shade of yours. My dyed hair is a light brown. How did you go back gray? I'm just afraid of how it would look...but due to family circumstances, I've had to be away from home (and hairdresser) for over a month. The white roots (lovingly referred to as my "landing strip" are getting pretty long. Now I'm debating whether to get it colored when I go home tomorrow, or use a wash-out rinse on it and let it grow out. Then again, I'm afraid as it fades, I'll wind up with purple hair or something.
> 
> Help! How did others go back gray? Let it grow out? Semi-permanent color? Ack!


I keep my hair very short (Jamie Lee Curtis-ish), so the growing out wasn't too bad. I actually get people commenting on how pretty my "high-lights" are! Go for it.


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## sandypeach (Oct 28, 2008)

As you can see from my profile picture, my hair is a lovely ash blonde, which my family insists is gray.  The beard is completely gray/white.  Having been "off the market" for 33 years (as of today), hasn't stopped me from have a harmless flirt now and again (never more than three times a day).  My dad is 84 and still has mostly black hair with liberal sprinklings of salt here and there.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

Hoosiermama, talk to your stylist for advise ... 

my guy told me to use a regular shampoo and wash my hair multiple times a day to get the color to start to fade.  I already had my my temples and a bit of bangs showing - and I'm tall - so I didn't worry about the roots as they started showing.  Then I just kept cutting the the brownish gray ends off until they were mostly gone ...


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Geoffrey said:


> Hoosiermama, talk to your stylist for advise ...
> 
> my guy told me to use a regular shampoo and wash my hair multiple times a day to get the color to start to fade. I already had my my temples and a bit of bangs showing - and I'm tall - so I didn't worry about the roots as they started showing. Then I just kept cutting the the brownish gray ends off until they were mostly gone ...


Wash your hair multiple times *a day*? Seriously? LOL


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

Leslie said:


> Wash your hair multiple times *a day*? Seriously? LOL


yeah ... but then I was using DIY hair color so he said the shampoo would strip the color with each use.


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## tlshaw (Nov 10, 2008)

I have been going gray since I was 30, I am now 48, and have kept my hair colored all this time. I work with a woman who has beautiful salt and pepper hair, but since my natural color is "mousy brown" and my gray is silver, it is not a good look. I plan to keep coloring my hair, but if I had salt and pepper, I might change my mind.


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

Men tend to be able to rock the greys so much better than women can. There are exceptions, but I don't consider Jamie Lee Curtis one of them, but that is probably about my own issues towards aging.


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## Pawz4me (Feb 14, 2009)

I'm 47 and started getting my hair colored about five years ago.  A few grays had started to show up here and there, and my hair had lost a lot of it's shine.  I'm not a vain person by any stretch of the imagination, but my hair was making me look washed out and tired all the time.  I have it colored very close to my original color, nothing drastic.  Sooner or later I'll stop it for awhile and see how I look w/o getting it done.  But not right now . . . .


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

sandypeach said:


> As you can see from my profile picture, my hair is a lovely ash blonde, which my family insists is gray. The beard is completely gray/white. Having been "off the market" for 33 years (as of today), hasn't stopped me from have a harmless flirt now and again (never more than three times a day). My dad is 84 and still has mostly black hair with liberal sprinklings of salt here and there.


Happy Anniversary!!
deb


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## Anju  (Nov 8, 2008)

It is very difficult to see what your "now" color is when it is growing out.  There is quite a difference.  I had red hair and blond hair for many many years, but when the red started getting brassy I let it grow out, but I have very short hair, sorta like Jamie Lee Curtis.  But I do NOT have gray hair - my hair is SILVER and don't you forget it!    Also you need to use the proper shampoo for SILVER hair, ordinary shampoo will wash it out and make it look dull and gray and in some cases even yellow.  SILVER shampoo makes your hair sparkle.  I have no problem with guys flirting with me even with all my wrinkles and my hair, but then I live in a community where wrinkles and natural hair (sorta) is the norm.  What I don't like is when it is obvious the hair is dyed, all one color with no variations.

Ash Blond - like it!


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## VictoriaP (Mar 1, 2009)

Leslie said:


> My motto is: better living through chemicals! I spend a bundle to be a blonde, but blonde I am!


I'm with Leslie. My hair will continue to be colored until the day they bury me.

But I'm a redhead--hair actually colored to match the original highlights I had some 20 years ago. Back then, while my hair looked pretty mousy brown in most lights, put me in full sun and it was a fiery red. When I was 17, I decided I wanted it that way all the time, and it's been the same color more or less ever since.

I tried blonde highlights last year and wasn't all that enamored of them. Didn't change my flirting one way or another either.  I find a good pair of Italian leather heels and well fitted clothes make a LOT more difference than the color of my hair does! LOL

Hubby, at 38, has salt & peppered out quite a bit; enough so that he decided to do the whole Just for Men bit both on top and on his mustache. I think he was feeling a bit old--but as MichelleR said, guys can go grey and look SO much better than women can. I have to admit, I hate seeing Jamie Lee Curtis grey; to me, it just makes her look old, which is a shame with her face & figure.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

.... and I thought Jamie Lee Curtis was sexy before she went gray and I still think she's sexy....  Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada look fabulous.... 

But, I really understand where everyone is coming from as I've been there.  


Regarding men, I think we fall into two camps - those that don't care and those that do.  (OK, so they're obvious camps)  For myself, I'm much more concerned about my eyes and crow's feet and bags .... I know quite a few guys younger than me who look much older due to facial lines and such.  But, I think many men are just as self-conscious about our gray hair as we are about keeping it.


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## sherylb (Oct 27, 2008)

I'm only 49 but have been going gray for about 10 years now. I have very dark, long, brown hair that flames red in the sunlight and all around my hairline is gray especially at the temples. I stopped coloring it about 5 years ago because it was just too hard to keep up with. I knew it was bad last summer when I was wearing it up and my DH started calling me "Paulie Walnuts".  After he got up off the floor  he told me he thought my hair was beautiful with the silver streaks so I stopped obsessing about it and usually don't even notice it anymore.

You know who shockes me more than Jamie Lee Curtis going gray? Ted Danson. It's just wrong when I see him with all gray, everywhere, even his eyebrows!


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## Dana (Dec 4, 2009)

Hoosiermama said:


> The white roots (lovingly referred to as my "landing strip" are getting pretty long.


Haven't seen that term used quite like that before...  (neither has UrbanDictionary.com )


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## patrisha w. (Oct 28, 2008)

I have a lovely silver streak across the front of my hair and I love it. Of course, since I am in my 70's, I am entitled, right?  I would like my hair to be this color all over, but since I am physically very like my Auntie Babs who died in her nineties with just a tiny bit of gray in her hair, I probably won't live long enough to be completely silver...

Patrisha


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

I was so happy to run across this thread as I have been in "bordering on mentally unstable" hair trauma for a few years now.  I always had tons of beautiful, stick straight, platinum blonde hair (but secretly wished for curly brown...and to be Italian or Latina instead of German/Swedish).  Everyone always said it would change when I had kids and as I never did the dirty deed, my hair stayed truu.

THEN I was elected into the CancerChick club and like a silly goose cut my hair to about Susan Powter length (yup, the "Stop the Insanity" used to be celeb) as I was told the experimental drugs may cause hair loss and I refused to allow the power to another source.  Well, the hair came out on the pillow, in the shower, in my hands, etc., but I never looked like I lost any hair.

Over time all the stuff that came out decided to pop back in - BUT it was totally confused and appeared a mousy dark blonde/light brown and really wavy!!!  Excuse my French, but WTF  So, I began the initiation into the Color & Chemical Club.  I have home colored a few times, but hello-scarey!!  I have had all over color, weaves, tones, bio-ionic straightening, but nothing is working right!  And now I see a few strands of..........grey  It can't be!  It must be a few self-imposed natural highlights sprouting, right

How can my hair be causing so much trauma in my life??


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

Dana said:


> Haven't seen that term used quite like that before...  (neither has UrbanDictionary.com )


Me either except for the particular cropping of the nether regions.....


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

sherylb said:


> I knew it was bad last summer when I was wearing it up and my DH started calling me "Paulie Walnuts".  After he got up off the floor


Too funny.

I always thought I'd go gray naturally, until it started in my early 40s. Which would probably be okay, except that I have always looked very young and at that time I was always mistaken for being in my 20s. Needless to say, I headed straight for the beauty parlor and haven't looked back.

Speaking of looking young, when I got the report from my oncologist he said "Pleasant young female who looks strikingly young for her age."!!!!   
I'm loving this doctor already. When family asks me what my oncologist had to say, that's what I tell them. I know, shameless, but come on, that's an awesome statement for someone who is going to be 50 this year.

deb


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

F1Wild said:


> Over time all the stuff that came out decided to pop back in - BUT it was totally confused and appeared a mousy dark blonde/light brown and really wavy!!! Excuse my French, but WTF


Chemo curls. Very common.

L


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## mlewis78 (Apr 19, 2009)

Here are a few websites about going gray, which I discovered last night after I finished reading the then-free book Going Gray by Anne Kreamer.

http://goinggrayblog.com/

http://www.goinggraylookinggreat.com/

An article in More magazine by Anne Kreamer:
http://www.more.com/2019/3120-back-to-my-roots--a

The book was relatively short (224 pp.) and I found it interesting. If it had been two pages longer, I would have screamed though. Kreamer didn't like a photo of herself with dyed brown, and that's what set off her gray journey. She looks good with gray hair.

I think it's an individual thing. I don't know how I would look. I just touched up the roots last night after allowing them to grow almost a half inch (out of laziness and that my hair is not dry when I get home from swimming . . . and I'm comatose when I get up first thing). I've been out of work for a year now and need to find a job and going gray or going through the growing out process would not help in any way. I might consider it after retirement, whenever that is.

The author puts forth the idea that coloring one's hair is a white lie and a deception. I never thought of it that way and still don't. She has a bias against coloring since she went gray. Guess it validates graying for her. That would do it for me if I decide to let mine grow out.

I'm all in favor of men letting their hair go natural. My oldest brother died his hair and beard black (which was his previous natural color) until death. The next brother, Stan, colored his for a number of years but let it go natural at about 58, and Paul never did anything to his. Paul was gray but mostly bald, and lately has his head shaved.

I realized after looking at the gray websites that this has made me think entirely too much about it. Now I'm going to let it go and just keep touching up the roots -- I use one of the newer 10-min. formulas.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

Timing is everything. He didn't know I started this conversation, but my partner pointed out this picture he found online:


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

drenee said:


> Speaking of looking young, when I got the report from my oncologist he said "Pleasant young female who looks strikingly young for her age."!!!!
> I'm loving this doctor already. When family asks me what my oncologist had to say, that's what I tell them. I know, shameless, but come on, that's an awesome statement for someone who is going to be 50 this year.
> deb


Oncs give the best reports! I still bring mine presents every time I see him, the last one was a special reserve, hand-engraved bottle of Irish whiskey, straight from Ireland. You gotta be thankful!


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

Leslie said:


> Chemo curls. Very common.
> L


Still sucks!!! I sometimes feel my head is trying to turn me into a lovely black woman as without the straightening I may be able to go Shirley Chisholm afro. No disrespect intended!!!


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## crebel (Jan 15, 2009)

When I started going grey at 40 I had a hissy fit and started the home coloring.  The closer I got to 50 (hit it last year) and cared less about the grey going with the "I earned it" crowd and got tired of the expense and time to keep it colored.  DH, however (he of the handsome salt and pepper hair and mostly salt mustache/goatee), preferred I not have any grey.  He then offered to and faithfully bought the color then shampooed and colored my hair for me every other month.  It was pretty hard to find any reason not to continue with the color then.  He kept that up for almost five years.  Our schedules got hectic last summer and my hair hasn't been colored since June 2009 - now he seems to be getting used to my "highlights".

On the other hand, my MIL who is 75 still has her hair colored to its natural red-blond color every month and has since she was 30 and came home from the hospital with a Cruella Deville white shock/streak in her hair that happened overnight when she gave birth to twins. I think she would do without groceries before she would give up spending the money on keeping her hair colored.

I say go with whatever makes you feel good about yourself when it comes to the color of your hair.


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## The Hooded Claw (Oct 12, 2009)

I'm 51, and don't even think about my hair most of the time.....But I do when I get a haircut (which happened to be today, actually).  Then I notice how the clumps the barber is cutting off are mostly gray with only a little brown remaining!  Not to mention that the front is receding....*sigh*  From day to day, I don't think about these things, I've never been particularly vain about my appearance and (fortunately!) that's still generally true.  But haircuts rub my nose in it, and make me gripe that I have less hair and less of my original color than my father did at his death nearly at nearly twenty years older than I am now!


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

crebel said:


> On the other hand, my MIL who is 75 still has her hair colored to its natural red-blond color every month and has since she was 30... I say go with whatever makes you feel good about yourself when it comes to the color of your hair.


Funny, my 71 yo MIL in Ireland swears up and down she has never had any grey hairs...and makes a point of telling everyone this, BUY I know she goes to the salon every Saturday for her "wash & style" and when I lived there I often saw her sneaking down the stairs from where the color specialists all did their thing. I'm convinced she at least has a rinse added to her permed hair, but my Hubby and I always act shocked * proud when she tells us she is the only one she knows who never had a grey hair.


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## rho (Feb 12, 2009)

I started getting gray in high school colored my hair for years but stopped about 10 years ago and decided since it was a family trait to go white early (it was early when it happened - I'm growing into it now) and it was just too hard to keep up - so as you see from my Cousin It avatar - I am more white than gray now and I love it - I've also stopped fighting my curls as you can see too .... 

Life is much easier now - and I love it 99% of the time - occasionally I am tired of being whiter than white - if I didn't have freckles I wouldn't have any color to me - and I would like to learn a bit more about easy quick adding color to my face - but 99% of the time I am happy with me


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

rho said:


> ...as you see from my Cousin It avatar - I am more white than gray now and I love it - I've also stopped fighting my curls as you can see too .... Life is much easier now - and I love it 99% of the time - occasionally I am tired of being whiter than white - if I didn't have freckles I wouldn't have any color to me - and I would like to learn a bit more about easy quick adding color to my face - but 99% of the time I am happy with me


Yours is absolutely beautiful!


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

I love a "distinguished" look.

My dad turned gray at 17.  He was salt and pepper.  He is 83 and has a full head of snow white hair and gets compliments on it all of the time.  His eyebrows are black and his eyes hazel so he really stands out.  People always ask..."Do you dye your hair?"  and he jokingly  replies..."No, just my eyebrows."  When I was a little girl; I remember women flirting with him all the time...my poor mother; she endured a lot.  He recently was in the hospital and the nurses were constantly in his room.  We're used to it...it's actually kind of funny...my Dad the chick magnet...lol.

I have quite a bit for 46 but not enough to let it go ye;t because it's just at the temples and the "skunk" line, so it would look odd.  I can't wait to give up the Garnier Nutrisse #40!!


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## rho (Feb 12, 2009)

F1Wild said:


> Yours is absolutely beautiful!


awww thanks


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

To all those who color - do you get it done professionally (and if so what processes) or at home (if so what products are good for keeping blonde without ruining hair)?


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

I color it at home because all the professionals screw it up!!  For some odd reason the roots turn one color and the rest another.  I warn them of this and it gets worse with each stylist I try...and I've gone to places that get $130 for a cut and color!!  SO, I've learned to do it myself...and I actually get better results.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

F1Wild said:


> To all those who color - do you get it done professionally (and if so what processes) or at home (if so what products are good for keeping blonde without ruining hair)?


My beloved friend Adam is the only one who has touched my hair (professionally) since 1991. He has the formula for my color, he has the conception for my style. I am totally in his hands. Fortunately, he is not big on pushing product on me so I haven't wasted a fortune on shampoo, etc.

L

PS. I should probably note that I have been having my hair colored since I was 16 and I develop a great loyalty to my stylists.


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

Leslie:  Loyalty to:  Hugh
                          Stylist
                          Keurig
                          KitchenAid
                          
just to name a few...lol.


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

What products, sjc?

I understand your loyalty, Leslie - I had a great one in the UK and my hair always looked healthy, shiny, a a beautiful shade of blonde, but here I've tried (for at least a year or more each) several colorists and just don't get a fab result.  And I always get the ones who continuously push their "newest" product line (which seem to change at least every 6 months) then get hurt when I tel them I prefer Pureology.


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

Who me?  Products...
My list is so long I think I have a "favorite" gizmo for every letter of the alphabet!!

OK...back to GRAY...  When my Mom's hair came back for the second time after her Chemo; it came in with a lot of silver.  She at the recommendation of her stylist, used silver lights products.  Products made especially for gray/silver hair...it takes the "yellow" out and gives it a nice silver healthy shine.  I'll ask her the specific name tomorrow.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

NogDog said:


> While flirting may be fun for the flirter, the flirtee who is lead astray into thinking s/he has a chance may not find it so much fun.


That situation is just unfair teasing. A real flirt goes both ways. And it doesn't have to mean a thing except harmless fun.

Teasing or leading someone on is mean.... and says a lot about the person who feels the need to do it.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

sandypeach said:


> As you can see from my profile picture, my hair is a lovely ash blonde, which my family insists is gray.


LOL! My grandfather used to tell people that his hair had turned platinum blond from being in the sun so much. (It was pure white.)

Happy anniversary!


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

drenee said:


> I always thought I'd go gray naturally, until it started in my early 40s.


Funny how that happens, isn't it. "I plan to age gracefully and naturally" turns into "Pass the chemicals!" right after the first dozen or so gray hairs...


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

My theory is that at-home haircolor works better for brown or black hair....  the blond shades often look somewhat unnatural because of the all-one-color effect.  

I go to a professional (who unfortunately moved to Arlington a few years ago so now I make a 45-minute trek for a haircut  ) but do one or two at-home colorings in between visits because of the expense.  That way the highlights that he adds still show through a bit when I do it, even though it's much better when it's professionally done.  When I'm employed full-time again I'll be back to regular visits!


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## mlewis78 (Apr 19, 2009)

I had also planned to not color my hair ever.  

When I was about 35, the stylist who was giving me hair cuts suggested doing highlights.  I had some strands of grey, but nothing significant.  I had my hair highlighted twice by him.  I was not pleased how it looked as it grew out and I wasn't even sure I liked the effect at all.  A few years later I started coloring it myself and still do.  Non-permanent rinses didn't work for me, because it came out so dark.  For quite a while I did a reddish blonde but later switched to light golden brown, which is brown until it starts to fade.  I've tried lightest golden brown, but it has red in it and more than one shade lighter on me.


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## Pawz4me (Feb 14, 2009)

F1Wild said:


> To all those who color - do you get it done professionally (and if so what processes) or at home (if so what products are good for keeping blonde without ruining hair)?


I have it done professionally. I look at all those boxes in the drug store and my eyes start crossing and my knees start shaking!

My hair lady mixes up some concoction in a bowl and comes up with the perfect color for my hair. It covers the gray and gives my hair great shine. Even though my hair grows incredibly fast--I absolutely have to have it trimmed every three weeks--she gets such a perfect match with my natural color that I can go nine weeks between colorings w/o yucky roots. I'm a brunette with the barest hint of red (chestnut?), so probably easier than for blonds.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

This topic must be on my brain.  Last night I dreamt about dyeing my hair black .... then giving myself a home perm and ending up looking like a stoner circa 1984 .... 


I found my first gray hair at 18 and since then my hair has been every color from auburn to lime green ... but I've never dyed it black.  I wonder where that came from.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

sjc said:


> Leslie: Loyalty to: Hugh
> Stylist
> Keurig
> KitchenAid
> ...


Actually, it's my Saeco super-automatic espresso machine, more than the Keurig. And my rice cooker and Fagor 3 in 1.

And Heath Ledger (sad anniversary coming up  )

And of course, my Kindle, Gabriel!


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## geoffthomas (Feb 27, 2009)

I never worried about going grey.
I started out (as a little kid) as a towhead.
Hair darkened but was mostly sandy and straight and fine.
All of my cousins on my mother's side were white - not grey - by age 30.
So when I didn't turn grey or white early I was happy.
Had a flattop and a short full beard for over 25 years - the beard was always saltnpepper with red.
So it was hard to think in terms of Grecian Grey.

So 20 some years ago I shaved off the beard and let the hair grow some.
And just let the grey creep up on me.


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

Geoffrey said:


> This topic must be on my brain. Last night I dreamt about dyeing my hair black .... then giving myself a home perm and ending up looking like a stoner circa 1984 ....
> I found my first gray hair at 18 and since then my hair has been every color from auburn to lime green ... but I've never dyed it black. I wonder where that came from.


Do it! Do it! Do it!!


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## F1Wild (Jun 15, 2009)

sjc said:


> Who me? Products...
> My list is so long I think I have a "favorite" gizmo for every letter of the alphabet!!
> 
> OK...back to GRAY... When my Mom's hair came back for the second time after her Chemo; it came in with a lot of silver. She at the recommendation of her stylist, used silver lights products. Products made especially for gray/silver hair...it takes the "yellow" out and gives it a nice silver healthy shine. I'll ask her the specific name tomorrow.


I don't have that much gray - maybe just 3-4 strands on each temple area, but geeeeesh it came back so much darker and wavier than I expected. Al of my grandparents had blonde and then just went white in the late 70s-80s. I have the feeling I am going to be a slave to the professionals for a long, long time.


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## RhondaRN (Dec 27, 2009)

Though it's not fair, men still look sexy with some gray hair, all gray hair, no gray hair, or some, even no hair at all.  Now as a woman, I really don't think women look as good with gray...any gray.  I know that's terrible to say, but it's the truth.  I've been a natural blonde all my life and did not have a hint of gray until I was 40.  And my blonde stayed a nice light blonde too.  I was really lucky.  But when the gray came in, I started putting highlights in my hair and have ever since.  My mom is in her late 70s and would absolutely die if she had any gray showing.  We women.  Anyway...you look nice with your gray.  

Now my husband started getting gray hairs when he was in his twenties and now it's mostly gray at 55.  He's still sexy to me


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

I'm much grayer than my considerably older husband.  Doesn't bother me because I'm considerably younger.    If I change like my dad did, and his hair was the same color as mine, I'll eventually be snow white.  Oh, well.  Too much trouble to keep it dyed.  And at some point it stops making one look younger, one just looks old with dyed hair.

Betsy


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

> This topic must be on my brain. Last night I dreamt about dyeing my hair black .... then giving myself a home perm and ending up looking like a stoner circa 1984 ....


ROTFLMAO!!!

Men look "distinguished" Clooney set the bar on that one. Women...not so much. Though I LOVED Meryl Streep's look in Devil Wears Prada. The gray with her STUNNING, FLAWLESS complexion looked amazing.


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## The Hooded Claw (Oct 12, 2009)

Geoffrey said:


> I found my first gray hair at 18 and since then my hair has been every color from auburn to lime green ...


Oooh, back to Lime Green! And post photos! I'm sure you'd look good that way!    

When I ponder myself dying my hair my brain threatens to explode. I'm not vain or self-conscious enough. I've been known to wash my hair, forget to comb it, and walk around looking like this for hours till some kind person told me:










So I doubt dying will ever be in my future.


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

We all can relate to that photo...As little girls...we've all gotten a comb or two stuck and had to have it "cut" out.


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## sherylb (Oct 27, 2008)

sjc said:


> We all can relate to that photo...As little girls...we've all gotten a comb or two stuck and had to have it "cut" out.


Little girls? Hell, I do that now and have to spend a half hour unwinding my hair from the round brush that I knew I shouldn't have used in the first place but it was too convenient not to use!


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

I do sincerely think that gray can be so flattering.  I have a family friend, Maureen, who turned in her teens...she was completely gray in her 30's and was/is so strikingly beautiful.  It brings out her eyes, enhances her features and gives her complexion a glow.

Brush stuck in hair:  we've all been there...my niece tried a round brush and had to have it cut at the nape!!


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