# Free cover grab bag



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

I really like to design book covers, but for personal reasons best left undiscussed, I can no longer make them for other authors. It's still one of my favorite ways to procrastinate writing -- I just don't do them for hire anymore.

Now I have this folder of "random covers that have nothing to do with anything." Some of these are just stock photos slapped together on a whim; others are for books I thought I might write, and then didn't. I thought it might be nice to offer them up for grabsies. Totally free. Just so that they don't clutter up my hard drive and get nothing done.

*How do I claim one of these free covers?*
Comment on this thread with the following information:

The title of the cover you want (yes, you must use my silly titles as reference)
The title of your book
Your author name
The title of your series, if applicable
A very short review blurb or tagline, if desired

*Rules*

The cover is exclusive to you. Once you claim it, it's yours, and nobody else can have it. You own all rights. Etcetera. (I may use it as a portfolio piece, though.)
The stock photos are not exclusive, however. I may use individual elements in other designs (although in very different configurations). This stock also isn't rare -- be aware that you might see certain photos in other places, including other book covers.
*No squatting!* You can only claim a cover if you have an immediate use for it. You can have one of these covers if you are replacing the cover of a book that has already been published, or if you have a completed book and you're otherwise ready to hit the "publish" button. I'm very serious about this one, so don't ask if you're not ready to use it. I'll hunt you down and lick your nose if you try to mess with me, and trust me, getting your nose licked is a really horrible experience. I eat a lot of garlic.
First come, first serve. *For clarification*: In order to be "first come," you have to post your title and whatnot as specified above.
I won't change anything but the text on the cover. What you see is what you get.
You'll get a JPG cover that's 1600x2500 (updated to possibly match Smashwords specs). Feel free to use it for ebook and/or print. I will not, however, make the print wraparound for you. Sorry.
ETA: One free cover per person not named Rashaad Bell, who gets two. Spread the love! 

(Click to embiggen.)

*For grabsies*


*Already claimed!*


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## DB Boyer (Apr 17, 2012)

Make that moon red and "Space Man" would make and awesome cover for _Stranger in a Strange Land_.

Those are seriously great though.


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## 56139 (Jan 21, 2012)

You are so funny!  I love both the artwork and the titles!


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## Jena H (Oct 2, 2011)

I don't have any need for a book cover at the moment, but I want to purloin your titles and author names.


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## DB Boyer (Apr 17, 2012)

genevieveaclark said:


> Those are fantastic, and also you are the best.
> 
> (I got no immediate use for 'em. Your "no squatting" rule is wise, because I have the desire to hoard.)


Oh I would have jumped on Space Man ASAP! That is a great cover (as are the rest, but not my genre).

You sure about that no hoarding rule...?  Uh... how about a free copy of all my books... - lol. 

Seeing these does make me wish you'd reconsider doing paid work though, you'd easily be on my short-list of go-to artist. I hope people really appreciate this, it's very generous of you as these are high-grade covers.


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## elalond (May 11, 2011)

The covers are awesome. I wish I had half of your talent.
You are so great for giving them away.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

smreine said:


> *No squatting!* You can only claim a cover if you have an immediate use for it. You can have one of these covers if you are replacing the cover of a book that has already been published, or if you have a completed book and you're otherwise ready to hit the "publish" button. I'm very serious about this one, so don't ask if you're not ready to use it. I'll hunt you down and lick your nose if you try to mess with me, and trust me, getting your nose licked is a really horrible experience. I eat a lot of garlic.


No exceptions even if we promise to use the cover as-is, with the title and author name shown? 

_--George, that's MISTER McAuthorface to you... and I LIKE garlic! _


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## notreallyhere (Oct 8, 2011)

smreine said:


> I really like to design book covers, but for personal reasons best left undiscussed, I can no longer make them for other authors. It's still one of my favorite ways to procrastinate writing -- I just don't do them for hire anymore.
> 
> Now I have this folder of "random covers that have nothing to do with anything." Some of these are just stock photos slapped together on a whim; others are for books I thought I might write, and then didn't. I thought it might be nice to offer them up for grabsies. Totally free. Just so that they don't clutter up my hard drive and get nothing done.
> 
> ...


I would like A Really Good Book

Title: Choices
A Fantasy Novella

Author: Cate Dean

Thanks!

ETA: Yes, it is written, and ready to go. You are just the bomb for doing this! 

~Cate


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## DB Boyer (Apr 17, 2012)

Hmmmm..... 

I have a thought, but it may be rather selfish of me, so let me know what you think.

I entered a contest on Goodreads awhile back (I didn't win  ), but the challenge was to write a short story about shape-shifers.  I wrote a very short work of 1500 words called "Return to Form".

It's about a unique, immortal being called "the ever-changer".  He's a shapeshifter, but not in the typical sense.  He's lived countless lives as men, women, animals– even taking millenium long reprieves as a tree or a rock.  In various forms he's given birth to our legends and myths—dragons, angels, other fantastic beings.  All were him, seeking some new form to fill the endless span of time.

He's experienced everything there is to experience, and with nothing "new" left to be or do, he longs for death, but cannot find it as he cannot be killed or harmed in any way.

The story is an inner dialogue; the ever-changer stands on the precipice of a cliff, recounting his "lives", contemplating his existance and ruminating on how to achieve that final state of peace he desires.

He then intuitively comes to the conclusion that he may indeed find oblivion if he reverts back to his very first, original form.

As strong wind comes up and he changes—his body collapsing into so many tiny particles of dust.

As the wind spreads and scatters the specks of dust, his consciousness too fades away.  He has succeeded in bringing his eons of existance to an end.


Anyway, I wasn't really planning on doing anything with it other than leaving it up on Goodreads as a promotional thing.  Maybe a person or two would happen upon it and like it.  But the wistful, longing look of the Space Man really does capture the theme.

Your cover deserves more than a short story.  It deserves a novel.  

But, if no one else grabs it, and you think my short sounds kind of cool, I'd gladly utilize it.  Being such a short work, I'd put it up for free on SmashWords and then see if I can get Amazon to price match it.  Again, just something to give people a taste of my writing.

Your call— it really deserves more.  I won't be offended at all if someone else with a longer work wishes to claim it.


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## 48209 (Jul 4, 2011)

I adore The Really Good Book and really, really, really wish I had something matchy matchy for it right now. 

Here's to hoping you get bored again in the future and do this again. These are great - very generous of you.


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## Rayne Book Covers (Sep 11, 2011)

I love the cover of Wistfully Gazing Spaceman by sexiest author ever! 

If you go on giving away such great covers for free, then it looks like I'm going out of business very soon.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Ta da! Choices by Cate Dean.

Click for the full resolution version. 





DB Boyer said:


> Your call- it really deserves more. I won't be offended at all if someone else with a longer work wishes to claim it.


I don't have any length/genre/story type requirements for these. I pretty much just want to see them go to a good home. So if you have use for my dear Wistfully Gazing Space Man, you are invited to wistfully gaze away. Just give me the title and whatnot. From an author standpoint, though, 1500 words really is a very short story, and you might consider bundling that with a couple other stories.



George Berger said:


> No exceptions even if we promise to use the cover as-is, with the title and author name shown?
> 
> _--George, that's MISTER McAuthorface to you... and I LIKE garlic! _


If you seriously write something called Delicious Cucumber, I will make ALL the covers for you. All of them.


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## DB Boyer (Apr 17, 2012)

smreine said:


> [
> I don't have any length/genre/story type requirements for these. I pretty much just want to see them go to a good home. So if you have use for my dear Wistfully Gazing Space Man, you are invited to wistfully gaze away. Just give me the title and whatnot. From an author standpoint, though, 1500 words really is a very short story, and you might consider bundling that with a couple other stories.


Oh definately. It's sitting in a folder on my desktop with a few other pieces of flash and short-shorts, possible fodder for a future collection. But because its up on Goodreads, and I usually enroll in Select, I know I wouldn't be able to do that for a collection which includes it.

And I certainly wasn't planning on getting a cover done for just that one piece.

...but, it has been suggested to me that putting one short-short for free on Smashwords and then price-matching it to Amazon could be good for introducing more readers to mey work. Like the pusher says, _the first taste is free_...

I wouldn't have even considered doing that with this story until it struck me that the wistful spaceman could indeed be the ever-changer.

Again, your call. Perhaps we let it hang out for awhile and see if someone with something more meriting of such a great cover wishes to claim it.


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## notreallyhere (Oct 8, 2011)

Perfect! Love it! Thank you, ma'am! 

~Cate


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

You're better at titles and tag lines than I am, that's for sure. Love 'em.


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## notreallyhere (Oct 8, 2011)

JRTomlin said:


> You're better at titles and tag lines than I am, that's for sure. Love 'em.


Especially the one for A Really Good Book - if I wrote zombie stuff, I would have kept it. 

~Cate


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## merryxmas (Jun 21, 2012)

This thread has put a smile on my face.


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## RuthNestvold (Jan 4, 2012)

DB Boyer said:


> Oh definately. It's sitting in a folder on my desktop with a few other pieces of flash and short-shorts, possible fodder for a future collection. But because its up on Goodreads, and I usually enroll in Select, I know I wouldn't be able to do that for a collection which includes it.
> 
> And I certainly wasn't planning on getting a cover done for just that one piece.
> 
> ...


If you don't grab it DB, I will! I have a novelette that it would work great with. 

So just in case, I have second dibs, and here's the info:

Wistfully gazing space man
The Bleeding and the Bloodless
Ruth Nestvold
No series
No blurb

I still have to do another read-through (although it's been previously published -- I'm anal about that), do the formatting, and create the back matter, but otherwise it's ready to go.

But seriously, DB, you voiced interest first, so if you want it, please!

Very generous of you, SM. Love your titles! Wish I could come up with a story for Delicious Cucumbers.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

smreine said:


> If you seriously write something called Delicious Cucumber, I will make ALL the covers for you. All of them.


Don't tempt me. I'll do it. We both know I will. In fact I've _already got an idea_...


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## notreallyhere (Oct 8, 2011)

George Berger said:


> Don't tempt me. I'll do it. We both know I will. In fact I've _already got an idea_...


And I would read it! Especially with that delicious cover . . .


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## Rashaad Bell (Oct 7, 2011)

I'd like delicouse cucumbers if it's still available. 

Tittle: Vampire Manifesto
Author: Rashaad Bell

No blurb or anything else needed...

Thanks!


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## DB Boyer (Apr 17, 2012)

RuthNestvold said:


> If you don't grab it DB, I will! I have a novelette that it would work great with.
> 
> So just in case, I have second dibs, and here's the info:
> 
> ...


Please- it deserves a longer work. If no one jumped on it, I'd certainly grab it, but by all means a novelette should get this over a flash piece.

Revisiting that story actually has me toying with the idea of doing several pieces on the various lives of the ever-changer and compiling them, so I have work to do!

Enjoy! It's a gorgeous cover - make sure to give a *BIG* credit in the front to our very generous and talented colleague!


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## RuthNestvold (Jan 4, 2012)

DB Boyer said:


> Please- it deserves a longer work. If no one jumped on it, I'd certainly grab it, but by all means a novelette should get this over a flash piece.
> 
> Revisiting that story actually has me toying with the idea of doing several pieces on the various lives of the ever-changer and compiling them, so I have work to do!
> 
> Enjoy! It's a gorgeous cover - make sure to give a *BIG* credit in the front to our very generous and talented colleague!


Naw, you know, DB, you take it. The "wistful" got me, and that would be great for The Bleeding and the Bloodless, but now that I look at it more closely, it looks too Earth-like, if you know what I mean? Earth is *very* far away in my story. 

I hope it inspires you to many excellent new stories!


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## dotx (Nov 4, 2010)

Oh, no, I'm late (stupid time difference)! Any chance you have some more covers available?


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## Lisa Grace (Jul 3, 2011)

I'm just posting here in case you put more up . I need one for my _Feudal Land_ and _Society of the D.E.A.D._
Anymore with the girl on them? D.e.a. d. stands for demon eradicator angel discerner, it's not zombie.


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## DB Boyer (Apr 17, 2012)

LisaGraceBooks said:


> I'm just posting here in case you put more up . I need one for my _Feudal Land_ and _Society of the D.E.A.D._
> Anymore with the girl on them? D.e.a. d. stands for demon eradicator angel discerner, it's not zombie.


Oh man, you keep hooking me with your teases! Let me know when that comes out.

Have you read KB'er Elizabeth Baxter's "Circle Spinner" collection of shorts? She has one story about a cyborg demon-hunter! It was sweet!


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Okay, we should consider both Delicious Cucumbers and Wistfully Gazing Space Man claimed, but I'll have to update the titles for you guys once the Toddler is asleep.  Gimme a few hours.

Ruth, DB, there is one obvious solution to your plight of both being too polite to jump on WGSM: Battle to the death with lirpa. Let me know which one of you survives.

In all seriousness, Ruth seems more prepared to receive the cover, so I'm inclined to pass it in that direction. I'll have more covers appropriate for short stories (and the folks who missed out on the first three) soon enough.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Googling the phrase "beautiful cucumber" returns, among many other things, a children's book from 1799 called "Little George's First Journey".



> And now we may fancy the little boy and his two sisters, and their father and mother, sitting on the nicely cleaned seats round the tea-table. The hot water was brought to them in an urn, so that they had no need of a fire to keep the kettle boiling. Mrs. Hardy spread bread and butter for the little folks, and gave them milk and water in their mugs, and while she was busy doing this, their father thought of something else which he knew the children would like: so he walked out of the arbour, and went to the hot-bed, and came back with such a beautiful cucumber in his hands, that George and Emma shouted for joy when they saw it...


Also, on a more writing-related bent, the 12 February 1910 issue of the Market Growers Journal featured an ad for "Green Cross Cucumbers":



> Theodore Roosevelt is being paid $1.00 a word for his remarkable articles on hunting in Africa. We are sure, had he run across a vine of Salzer's Green Cross Cucumber in that far away clime, he could easily have used 10,000 words, or $10,000 worth of description in extolling and setting forth the many merits of this wonderful cucumber, and then some more! Look at the illustration. We had, in a small field with ordinary cultivation, hundreds and hundreds of cucumbers larger than here illustrated, attaining this enormous size within 20 to 25 days after setting! It is the most remarkable Cucumber and surely the most beautiful cucumber mortal eye has ever seen...


Also, George William Johnson writes, around 1849...



> Gerard says of it "There hath been, not long since, sent to Strasburgh, in Germany, out of Spain, some seeds of a rare and beautiful cucumber; the fruit of a foot in length." He then gives directions for making a hotbed, which have been detailed; all which directions, he says, if followed, would enable the gardener to defy "the intemperancy of the climate although in the farthest parts of the north of Scotland." Gerard says that the cucumber, if eaten as a potage, made of it with mutton and oatmeal, for breakfast, dinner, and supper, for three weeks without intermission, it "doth perfectly cure all manner of sauce-phlegm and copper faces, red and shining fiery noses (as red as red roses), with pimples, pumples, rubies, and such like precious faces!"


...though I have no idea what any of that means.


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## DB Boyer (Apr 17, 2012)

smreine said:


> Okay, we should consider both Delicious Cucumbers and Wistfully Gazing Space Man claimed, but I'll have to update the titles for you guys once the Toddler is asleep.  Gimme a few hours.
> 
> Ruth, DB, there is one obvious solution to your plight of both being too polite to jump on WGSM: Battle to the death with lirpa. Let me know which one of you survives.
> 
> In all seriousness, Ruth seems more prepared to receive the cover, so I'm inclined to pass it in that direction. I'll have more covers appropriate for short stories (and the folks who missed out on the first three) soon enough.


Well, I'm pretty good with Vulcan melee weapons. I think I might actually be experiencing _pon farr_ right now. That would explain these strange urges which I've been feeling (but it's a private matter, so don't press me further!)

In all seriousness, let me give Ruth, or anyone else, one last chance to claim it. If there are no takers I'll use it in the manner described as an introduction to what I think may be a collection of stories about the ever-changer.

If no one takes it I'll send you the details.

BUT SERIOUSLY - It's a great cover and I will not at all be upset if someone wishes to take it for a longer work! (Not that I don't love it, smreine, I do! I just don't want to usurp it from someone who would use ot for a novella or novel).

OK - will check back later. I think my serotonin levels are off... I need to find someone to mate with!


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## DB Boyer (Apr 17, 2012)

George Berger said:


> Googling the phrase "beautiful cucumber" returns, among many other things, a children's book from 1799 called "Little George's First Journey".
> 
> Also, on a more writing-related bent, the 12 February 1910 issue of the Market Growers Journal featured an ad for "Green Cross Cucumbers":
> 
> ...


Why do I suddenly have the urge to throw in one of my kids' Veggie Tales DVD's?


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Rashaad, here's your cucumber:



I'll address Wistfully Gazing Space Man in the morning--so somebody really needs to tell me what to do with him. I've updated the rules above to stipulate that the "first come" claim requires posting your title/name to clarify this for future covers.

More to come soon.


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## Lisa Grace (Jul 3, 2011)

smreine said:


> Rashaad, here's your cucumber:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


My two books: _Feudal Land_ is a YA dystopian with a 17 year-old protag. 
_Society of the D. E. A. D._ ( stands for angel discerner demon eradicator) has a college age protag who is called in to solve mysterys/murders/situations that may include demonic activity and spiritual warfare. Kind of like a cool modern day kick butt exorcist. Except there's a twist that won't be revealed until the end of the book. It's a set up for a series.


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## notreallyhere (Oct 8, 2011)

LisaGraceBooks said:


> My two books: _Feudal Land_ is a YA dystopian with a 17 year-old protag.
> _Society of the D. E. A. D._ ( stands for angel discerner demon eradicator) has a college age protag who is called in to solve mysterys/murders/situations that may include demonic activity and spiritual warfare. Kind of like a cool modern day kick butt exorcist. Except there's a twist that won't be revealed until the end of the book. It's a set up for a series.


That sounds fab, Lisa! Any estimated release date? *hint hint*


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## Lisa Grace (Jul 3, 2011)

cate dean said:


> That sounds fab, Lisa! Any estimated release date? *hint hint*


Thanks for asking Cate and DB Boyer. 

I have to finish Book 4 (writing now) and 5 in my _Angel Series_ to complete the story arc for the movie producer and screenplay writer first. (Bird in the hand and all that.) 
Then I want to write the second book in my History Mystery line as people who've read the first are asking for the second. 
Then I'll tackle _Feudal Land_, just because I have more research to do for the D.E.A.D. one. 
So It will be 9 months for F.L. and a year for D.E.A.D.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Lisa, you can claim a cover for those books closer to the publication date.  The freebie grab bag is intended for stuff that's currently publication-ready.

In the meantime, I've added these three covers to the original post.



http://imgur.com/VDz2z




http://imgur.com/fHLUN




http://imgur.com/4DqEf


I think that's all I've got for the moment--I'll have to dig through my Dropbox for more later. Get 'em while they're hot!


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## Lisa Grace (Jul 3, 2011)

smreine said:


> Lisa, you can claim a cover for those books closer to the publication date.  The freebie grab bag is intended for stuff that's currently publication-ready.


Thanks smreine for what your doing for authors. It's really cool. So many can't afford to get great work like you're providing.

I typically arrange for covers a few months ahead of time so I can publicize them, and in case the artists get booked up and I have to be put in a queue.


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## Rachel Schurig (Apr 9, 2011)

BARON HOTABS VON MANLYMAN.

Oh, I love you/this so much and wish I had a book for it.

Can I name a character that? Pretty please?


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## Vidya (Feb 14, 2012)

smreine said:


> I think that's all I've got for the moment--I'll have to dig through my Dropbox for more later. Get 'em while they're hot!


I would like Frowny Faces.

Title: My Deadly Prince Charming

My author name: Vidya Samson

The title of my series: Idylla

Blurb: Upon the death of her mother, seventeen-year-old Iona flies to the Mediterranean island of Idylla to live with the father she never knew.

There she meets the dangerously attractive Prince Aidan, and falls hopelessly in love. He seems to be attracted to her too...but there is a problem. The island stimulates Iona's latent powers of contact telepathy. What do you do when the boy you love is afraid to let you touch him for fear you will learn what deadly secrets he is hiding?

To make matters worse, Iona comes to realize that the whole island harbors sinister secrets beneath its seemingly idyllic surface, secrets that explode into danger and nearly cost Iona her life.

It's a good thing Prince Aidan is no mere mortal&#8230;or is it?

***

Smreine, thank you so much for doing this. Are you planning to post any more pics that might be even more suitable for the paranormal romance I have described above or should I be quick to grab Frowny Faces? Are you planning to post any pics of a blonde girl on the cover? I ask because my heroine is blonde but otherwise, Frowny Faces looks great and would be very suitable for my novel. So if you don't have any covers with a blonde girl on them, I'd love Frowny Faces.


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## ChristinaGarner (Aug 31, 2011)

This is so great. I don't have anything publication ready, but I sure wish I did! A very generous offer.


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## Rashaad Bell (Oct 7, 2011)

smreine said:


> Rashaad, here's your cucumber:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thank you so much, that looks awesome!


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## DB Boyer (Apr 17, 2012)

smreine said:


> ][/URL]
> 
> I'll address Wistfully Gazing Space Man in the morning--so somebody really needs to tell me what to do with him. I've updated the rules above to stipulate that the "first come" claim requires posting your title/name to clarify this for future covers.
> 
> More to come soon.


OK smreine, I'll grab the wistful spaceman as Ruth has indicated it actually is too earth-y for her and no one else has claimed it. I know you want to move these out and I've been too indecisive to act, so I will grab it please.

Title: A Return to Form

Subtitle: A Brief Tale of The Ever-Changer

Author: Dennis B. Boyer

THANK YOU! Please send me any info you want to appear in the cover credit, such as how you want your name listed, a link to your website or Amazon author page if you want that to appear, any neccessary photo credits, or anything else you want included.

Thanks again, this does really help me pursue a strategy that I wanted to try.


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## The world would be prettier with more zebra strip (Apr 20, 2011)

OH.MY.GOD.
You are definitely awesome, and this is just the right time.

    I need Beefcake Maximus
    The title of your book: Lost Secret: Full Version
    Your author name: Melanie Ray

Thank you so much. This is perfect.

PS: Can you please tell me what the font styles are on the book? Thanks!


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## RuthNestvold (Jan 4, 2012)

Oh, those covers have me ROTFL! Well, not the covers, exactly, since they're lovely, but ... Beefcake Maximus? Wonderful! 

And enjoy the cover, Dennis.


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## unkownwriter (Jun 22, 2011)

Wow, these are great covers, and a very generous offer! Congratulations to those of you able to take advantage..

I wish one of them suited anything I have (nearly) ready, but alas, the zombies walk. On my keyboard, anyway.  

I'll keep a check just in case anything I can use pops up.


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## Rashaad Bell (Oct 7, 2011)

How did you want to be listed as the cover artist? I mean what name Do you want listed or do you have a company name you want used?

I'll list you as the cover artist on Facebook, twitter, my blog and in the product description. Are you posting any more, I could use one got my sequel Fledgling, if at all possible. 

They all look amazing!!


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Rashaad Bell said:


> How did you want to be listed as the cover artist? I mean what name Do you want listed or do you have a company name you want used?
> 
> I'll list you as the cover artist on Facebook, twitter, my blog and in the product description. Are you posting any more, I could use one got my sequel Fledgling, if at all possible.
> 
> They all look amazing!!


You can just list me as SM Reine.  I don't know if/when I'll be posting more -- I'm going to do the ones in this thread so far and then go do some editing, so it might be a while.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Vidya said:


> I would like Frowny Faces.
> 
> Title: My Deadly Prince Charming
> 
> ...


Frown away, my frowny friend!



I'm not buying new stock for these covers, and I haven't grabbed a lot of photos with blond models on it during my subscription periods -- dunno why. I used up all my blond girl mojo for my YA books, I think. So I think you're most likely to see brunettes on these covers. But I could be talking out my ear. I haven't dug through my Dropbox yet, and I can't make any guarantees on what I find.


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## melissafmiller (Feb 17, 2011)

If OH NO, I'M BLIND is still up for grabs, I would love to claim it.

Book Title is Black Thursday: A Sasha McCandless Story
Author Name is Melissa F. Miller

You really do have a talent for this, but having read GMR, I think you absolutely are right that you will spend your time more profitably writing.   (Folks, I'm not just saying that because she has a knife, either.)

Really, truly, thank you so muchly!


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

DB Boyer said:


> Title: A Return to Form
> 
> Subtitle: A Brief Tale of The Ever-Changer
> 
> Author: Dennis B. Boyer




Ta da!

You can just list me as SM Reine.


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## DB Boyer (Apr 17, 2012)

smreine said:


> Ta da!
> 
> You can just list me as SM Reine.


You're the best! Thank you!


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Dam_Good said:


> OH.MY.GOD.
> You are definitely awesome, and this is just the right time.
> 
> I need Beefcake Maximus
> ...


I'm a little disappointed that you haven't decided to change your author name to Baron Hotabs von Manlyman, but I guess I can forgive you for that.



The sans-serif font is Tw Cen MT (similar to Futura), and the script font is Yorkshire. The abs, however, are entirely oatz and squatz.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

melissafmiller said:


> Book Title is Black Thursday: A Sasha McCandless Story
> Author Name is Melissa F. Miller


Wow, this cover actually looks legit when you remove the "Everybody Poops II: Retribution" tagline.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Aaaaand I'm spent. That's it for now, folks. I have editing and writing and Actual Work to do today, but this has been fun. I might add more over the weekend.


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## Anne Frasier (Oct 22, 2009)

smreine said:


> Wow, this cover actually looks legit when you remove the "Everybody Poops II: Retribution" tagline.


wow. some seriously awesome covers here. i really love this one.


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## notreallyhere (Oct 8, 2011)

Thank you, SM! They all look just beeee-utiful.  You are the bomb, girl.

Now go edit! I have to stop procrastinating and go write. KB boards = timesuck

~Cate


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

FYI: Rashaad had problems getting Smashwords to take his cover. Apparently it's not their mysterious, preferred dimensions. If you have a problem with a grab bag cover, let me know--I'll resize it to 1600 x 2500, which _seems_ to be what they want. Future grab bag covers will also be this resolution.


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## The world would be prettier with more zebra strip (Apr 20, 2011)

I appreciate the wonderful cover and just wanted to say...






If I have any problems with smashwords, I will let you know.


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## Vidya (Feb 14, 2012)

smreine said:


> Frown away, my frowny friend!
> 
> 
> 
> I'm not buying new stock for these covers, and I haven't grabbed a lot of photos with blond models on it during my subscription periods -- dunno why. I used up all my blond girl mojo for my YA books, I think. So I think you're most likely to see brunettes on these covers. But I could be talking out my ear. I haven't dug through my Dropbox yet, and I can't make any guarantees on what I find.


If you cant find any blonde girls, I'd love Frowny Faces. should I PM you my email address so you can send it to me? or will you post it here for me to download? Thanks.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Vidya said:


> If you cant find any blonde girls, I'd love Frowny Faces. should I PM you my email address so you can send it to me? or will you post it here for me to download? Thanks.


If you click on the thumbnail in the post you quoted there, your cover already has the titles and everything set up.

And you're welcome, Melanie!


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Apparently I was lying about being done. Two more added to OP!

 

I will be seriously surprised if anyone has a use for OMGWTF? This isn't the beach. I don't even know what genre that would be.

Happy Friday!


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## Monique (Jul 31, 2010)

You are such a goof! These are so great.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Monique said:


> You are such a goof! These are so great.


Hey, I resisted the urge to put "doo doodoo doo doodoo doo doodoo doo doodoo doo doo doo" on Hungry Like the Wolf. I'm trying here.


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## ruecole (Jun 13, 2012)

I love your covers, Sara. And I love your sense of humour even more. 

Rue


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## melissafmiller (Feb 17, 2011)

Wow, thank you! That cover is awesome. And so are you.


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## Vidya (Feb 14, 2012)

smreine said:


> If you click on the thumbnail in the post you quoted there, your cover already has the titles and everything set up.


Oh sorry, I didn't realize. That looks great. would it be possible for you to redo the series bit to read like this:

The Idylla Series: Book 1

If not, it's fine. Thanks!


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## dotx (Nov 4, 2010)

Me, I do, I do! I'm almost done with a novella about a girl who wakes me and realizes something happened while she was sleeping and she's completely alone. So yeah, I think OMGWTF? would work for me! 

Can I get back to you later today with a title?


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## Rashaad Bell (Oct 7, 2011)

I'd like hungry like a wolf

Tittle: Vampire Manifesto 
Subtitle: Fledgling
Author: Rashaad Bell


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## Rashaad Bell (Oct 7, 2011)

Bump


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Sorry, not doing Photoshop right now. Too much house cleaning and stuff (garg). I'll get back to this soon.

I'm going to revise the rules so that it's one free cover per person. You've already requested Hungry Like the Wolf, so you can have that one, but _no mas_ after that. Doesn't seem fair to other KBers to grab multiple.


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## RuthNestvold (Jan 4, 2012)

Glad I checked in again -- love your fake titles!


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## unkownwriter (Jun 22, 2011)

More awesome covers! The OMGWTF would be good for a YA, with the right title/subtitle.

As an aside, I saw a youtube you did on making a book cover yesterday -- I was looking for Photoshop inspiration and tutorials --    .


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## Al Dente (Sep 3, 2012)

Wow. Your covers are quite amazing! I'm impressed! I also wanted to say that this is a really great thing that you're doing for everyone. If no one has claimed OMGWTF: This isn't the beach, I would love to use it in a novella I just finished.

Title: Shattered
Author: David Scroggins
Tagline: Everyone's dying to meet Annabel
Review / Blurb: "A truly chilling read!" -Liliana Pemberton, Author of Darkness Shrouds

Thank you so much in advance! You do amazing work.


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## Rashaad Bell (Oct 7, 2011)

smreine said:


> Sorry, not doing Photoshop right now. Too much house cleaning and stuff (garg). I'll get back to this soon.
> 
> I'm going to revise the rules so that it's one free cover per person. You've already requested Hungry Like the Wolf, so you can have that one, but _no mas_ after that. Doesn't seem fair to other KBers to grab multiple.


Sorry! Got excited when I saw new covers up


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## RuthNestvold (Jan 4, 2012)

Can someone post the link to the Youtube tutorial? I'm still learning too.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

It's not actually a tutorial--just a quick zip through the way I designed one cover. But I should really do another one. I'm much better now, and that cover in the video's kinda poop.






These two covers are on my to-do list for the night, btw, so I'll take care of them after I handle stuff at the car dealership.


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## unkownwriter (Jun 22, 2011)

Ruth, I'm sorry I wasn't more clear. It isn't a tutorial, more of a speed art type video, but still nice to see how the process went.

I haven't been able to find a good tutorial for making book covers, but some of the regular Photoshop videos have techniques that would translate.

Here are a couple of people I've been watching:

http://www.psdbox.com/ He has written tutorials, and the video to go with them.

http://photoshopuser.com/cs6/

And if you want to see some awesome photomanipulation, check these out:

http://www.youtube.com/user/AlexanderKoshelkov?feature=watch

I've been watching the above link, and lots of others, and what they do is fantastic. I get inspired watching what they do with stock photos (though be warned, they don't appear to buy the art, which we would have to do). It's speed art, which goes really fast, and no instruction.

And most of what's being done in Photoshop can be done in other graphics programs, like GIMP, which is free.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Rashaad, here's Fledgling. 



ETA: I just noticed your frowny face earlier. Sorry, I wasn't trying to single you out. I didn't have that rule before. You're not a precog (probably); you didn't know! It's just for future reference.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Monsieur Scroggins, here's Shattered.


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## Al Dente (Sep 3, 2012)

You are amazing! Thank you so much! What name should I credit in the book?


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

SM Reine will do, if you feel the irresistible compulsion to credit me.


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## RuthNestvold (Jan 4, 2012)

Thanks for the links, you guys! I will definitely be checking those out. I can't rely on my daughter to do all the cover work for me forever, especially since she will probably be moving back to the States next year. 

I have an ancient copy of Photoshop, which is what I work with. I've tried Gimp but haven't been able to figure it out.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

RuthNestvold said:


> Thanks for the links, you guys! I will definitely be checking those out. I can't rely on my daughter to do all the cover work for me forever, especially since she will probably be moving back to the States next year.
> 
> I have an ancient copy of Photoshop, which is what I work with. I've tried Gimp but haven't been able to figure it out.


Your daughter does some nice work. 

Really, you can get covers that look fantastic these days at a very reasonable price. Your time is probably best spent writing more than learning a complicated program like Photoshop. I mean, if you want to do it because if you're interested in design, then by all means go ahead--but as a business decision, I'd just find a reliable, well-priced artist and focus on what you already do best.


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## RuthNestvold (Jan 4, 2012)

smreine said:


> Your daughter does some nice work.
> 
> Really, you can get covers that look fantastic these days at a very reasonable price. Your time is probably best spent writing more than learning a complicated program like Photoshop. I mean, if you want to do it because if you're interested in design, then by all means go ahead--but as a business decision, I'd just find a reliable, well-priced artist and focus on what you already do best.


Thanks! But I have to admit that the two best covers *are* hired work: Yseult and Shadow of Stone are from Derek Murphy of Creativindie Covers. I've tried other folks at lower prices for the short stories but it hasn't really worked out. And I can't justify Derek's prices for short stories, given the sales numbers.

Besides, most of the time I like the challenge.


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## elalond (May 11, 2011)

smreine said:


> It's not actually a tutorial--just a quick zip through the way I designed one cover. But I should really do another one. I'm much better now, and that cover in the video's kinda poop.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I like the cover. (How can you say that is a poop?)

@ Sheila_Guthrie : Have checked the youtube link. That's amazing. Thank you for sharing it.


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## Rashaad Bell (Oct 7, 2011)

Thanks for all you have done for me! I'm one step closer to becoming a real author because of you!


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## 31842 (Jan 11, 2011)

A)  SM?  I thought it wasn't possible for me to adore you more, and then you bust out these covers.  I want you to snatch them all back and release them ALL as short stories with said titles and pen names.  I'm dying.  DYING!!!

B)  Watching that video makes me so glad to hand all my money over to a graphic designer... whatever we pay you is not enough... oh god... that segment with all the tweaks to the hair...  I think Dante talked about that level somewhere between the 5th and 6th circles... the Photoshop Circle of Hair Hell...


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## RuthNestvold (Jan 4, 2012)

KateDanley said:


> B) Watching that video makes me so glad to hand all my money over to a graphic designer... whatever we pay you is not enough... oh god... that segment with all the tweaks to the hair... I think Dante talked about that level somewhere between the 5th and 6th circles... the Photoshop Circle of Hair Hell...


Heh, that just about sums up the way I felt watching that video too. *g*

But I still can't justify to myself hiring a cover artist for a short story or a short collection that sells maybe a dozen copies a month at 0.99 a pop ... I'll just have to do without the hair ...


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

RuthNestvold said:


> Heh, that just about sums up the way I felt watching that video too. *g*
> 
> But I still can't justify to myself hiring a cover artist for a short story or a short collection that sells maybe a dozen copies a month at 0.99 a pop ... I'll just have to do without the hair ...


I feel like bald cover models could be the wave of the future.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

I added one more.


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## julidrevezzo (Sep 15, 2012)

Since you specified no WIP's I can't put in a request for the gun-toting girl one yet (though I have a nowhere near done mss she'd work great for!) but I just wanted to say these are gorgeous work, Ms. Reine!


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Thanks Ms Revezzo!


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## -alex- (Jul 12, 2011)

What?! The cover in that vid is not "poop"!

Do you have a gallery of your covers? I'd love too see what others you have done (other than those listed on this thread).


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

The cover is poop in the sense that my techniques and style have matured, and I would not do the cover like that nowadays.

I don't actually keep a gallery up to date. I'm waaaay too lazy. You can see some of the older stuff on my DeviantArt, though. Here are a few authors I've designed for previously:

Melissa F. Miller's totally awesome amazing legal thrillers: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0075ZWQ3M
Erin Zarro's Fey Touched (such an interesting take on faeries): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008R15JFK
Brina Courtney's cryptid books (and she's one of the coolest KBers around): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006MOTN42
John O'Brien's first few books in the A New World series (really good zombie military fiction): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004W0CL2Y
Heather Hildenbrand's Dirty Blood series (REALLY awesome YA werewolves): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004V08RS2

And of course all of my books. I know there's some other stuff floating around I've done that I'm not thinking of right now... You can see I am just so super duper organized about these things.  There's a reason I don't do commissions on request anymore. Hint: I am a huge flake.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

I just want to compliment you on your stuff...you really do a nice job.

Fishnets and side-boob...always an essential with a big gun and elbow pads lol!


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## NoCat (Aug 5, 2010)

These are lovely!


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## Cameron McKeth (Apr 21, 2011)

I've always loved Brina's covers! And your cover for Erin Zarro's "Fey Touched" is...is...ohmygoodness it is fantabulous!


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

MalloryMoutinho said:


> I just want to compliment you on your stuff...you really do a nice job.
> 
> Fishnets and side-boob...always an essential with a big gun and elbow pads lol!


How do you know a lady is battle-ready? SIDE BOOB.

She actually had scary dragon claws covered in sparkles, too, but that bothered me more than the fishnets, so I gave her a trim.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Cameron McKeth said:


> I've always loved Brina's covers! And your cover for Erin Zarro's "Fey Touched" is...is...ohmygoodness it is fantabulous!


Thanks! I had so much fun with that one. Erin pretty much gave me free rein to do whatever I wanted, so I unleashed the wild power of bokeh and little electronic looking doodly brushes. The book's very cool too, since it's like science fiction/dystopian/faeries, but I'm probably not allowed to make endorsements since I did do the cover and all.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

smreine said:


> She actually had scary dragon claws covered in sparkles, too, but that bothered me more than the fishnets, so I gave her a trim.


Does she hunt and kill unicorns? Claws and sparkles?!?


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Judging by her shirtlessness and fishnets, I suspect our dear Soldier in Fishnets is after an entirely different prey. Perhaps that of the y-chromosomed persuasion.

It's like The Hunger Games, but nakeder.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

smreine said:


> How do you know a lady is battle-ready? SIDE BOOB.


Oh God, is _that_ what that means?!

_--George, misreading signals since nineteen-mumble-mumble..._


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## Nicole Ciacchella (May 21, 2012)

I'm really late to this party, but I just wanted to say how amazing these covers are, and how much I laughed at the titles and author names.  I wouldn't mind having a Spaceman like that gaze wistfully at me, I'll tell you that much. 

Also, you are so awesome for doing this.  Seriously.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

smreine said:


> Judging by her shirtlessness and fishnets, I suspect our dear Soldier in Fishnets is after an entirely different prey. Perhaps that of the y-chromosomed persuasion.
> 
> It's like The Hunger Games, but nakeder.


I sense the next hunger games/fifty shades spin-off blockbuster success! smreine making BANK!



George Berger said:


> Oh God, is _that_ what that means?!
> 
> _--George, misreading signals since nineteen-mumble-mumble..._


Classic diversionary tactic.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

MalloryMoutinho said:


> I sense the next hunger games/fifty shades spin-off blockbuster success! smreine making BANK!


The Horny Games?

Sorry, I'll go sit down in the corner.



Nicole Ciacchella said:


> I'm really late to this party, but I just wanted to say how amazing these covers are, and how much I laughed at the titles and author names. I wouldn't mind having a Spaceman like that gaze wistfully at me, I'll tell you that much.


Not going to lie--the sole reason I downloaded that stock image was because of a very, very vague resemblance to Ewan McGregor, who I am still hoping will one day realize he wants to be my bride. We'll move to Utah and live in a happy polygamist enclave and he can wear kilts everywhere. It shall be bliss.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

smreine said:


> The Horny Games?
> 
> Sorry, I'll go sit down in the corner.
> 
> Not going to lie--the sole reason I downloaded that stock image was because of a very, very vague resemblance to Ewan McGregor, who I am still hoping will one day realize he wants to be my bride. We'll move to Utah and live in a happy polygamist enclave and he can wear kilts everywhere. It shall be bliss.


That's like my Wolverine/Thor dream. Not Hugh Jackman and what's his face...I need them in character. MMM muscle sandwich!


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## Nicole Ciacchella (May 21, 2012)

smreine said:


> Not going to lie--the sole reason I downloaded that stock image was because of a very, very vague resemblance to Ewan McGregor, who I am still hoping will one day realize he wants to be my bride. We'll move to Utah and live in a happy polygamist enclave and he can wear kilts everywhere. It shall be bliss.


You know what, I like you even more now! I'm quite fond of Mr. McGregor myself. And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go stare at the Spaceman cover some more.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

So I was sitting around this morning thinking, "Self, I really conquered the whole side boob thing with that last cover. But you know what's really lacking in my life? Billionaires and butt dimples. I need to do more of that."

Sooo...



I wouldn't be surprised to find out that's already the title of a book on Amazon, but I'm too lazy to check.

In case you don't get around much in the erom cats, I should warn you that I've seen this particular stock image on several books in different ways. But how many of them have typography this classy? Just mine, baby! AND I photoshopped out the guy's dumb mustache, which makes it about 90% better than the others, too. I'm sure someone can find a use for it, anyway.

ETA: For those of you thinking, "Why isn't this writer writing right now instead of thinking about side boob and butt dimples?", I shall have you know that I have a new book coming out next week. It is currently with proofreaders. I also have a Halloween anthology coming out in about two weeks. Editor spots are reserved for next week, and I can't do anything else about it until then. So... butt dimples. (I just wanted to say that again.)


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

smreine said:


> ETA: For those of you thinking, "Why isn't this writer writing right now instead of thinking about side boob and butt dimples?", I shall have you know that I have a new book coming out next week...


You never need a reason to think about boobs. Or butts. From any direction.

_--George, browsing for marital-aid stock art for a cover for DONG OF DEATH..._


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

Let me know when you start contemplating chesticles!


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

George Berger said:


> You never need a reason to think about boobs. Or butts. From any direction.


I know I sure don't. These things seem to Just Happen.



MalloryMoutinho said:


> Let me know when you start contemplating chesticles!


I was actually just looking at this stock photo I have of a shirtless beefcakey dude viewed from behind... We'll see what direction the half-naked creative spirit takes me, if at all.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

smreine said:


> I know I sure don't. These things seem to Just Happen.
> 
> I was actually just looking at this stock photo I have of a shirtless beefcakey dude viewed from behind... We'll see what direction the half-naked creative spirit takes me, if at all.


I challenge you to a cover with beefcake and pancakes!

<--- super procrastinating today...if you can't tell.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

MalloryMoutinho said:


> I challenge you to a cover with beefcake and pancakes!


...and a sausage on the side?


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

You are both terrible, terrible influences.

Sexy, terrible influences.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

George Berger said:


> ...and a sausage on the side?





MalloryMoutinho said:


> I challenge you to a cover with beefcake and pancakes!
> 
> <--- super procrastinating today...if you can't tell.





George Berger said:


> ...and a sausage on the side?


We found your tagline for the Horny Games! GO! (best if sung to the tune of chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side)


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Now look what you made me do. GOOD JOB. I hope you two are happy with yourselves. I could have been doing something productive, but nooo...


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## Sean Patrick Fox (Dec 3, 2011)

The covers are great, but the titles and other little 'details' are by far the best part.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

smreine said:


> Now look what you made me do. GOOD JOB. I hope you two are happy with yourselves. I could have been doing something productive, but nooo...


SQUEEEEEEE!

Will you marry me? 

OMG that cover is UBER AMAZING! You have far exceeded my expectations!

I just hope the MC doesn't get into too many sticky situations...or maybe I do...


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

If you two actually wrote that story, I would clean up the cover and let you have it. Also, we could _all _get married and live in my kilt-loving polygamist enclave with Ewan McGregor. Just putting that out there.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

They were perfect - beautifully tan in color, firm, yet with just the right amount of give, and warm, so wonderfully, wonderfully warm. And they were so much larger than he'd expected, than he'd dared hope or dream they would be. They were so much different to the ones he was used to, back in Sweden, and he smiled in anticipation, a gleam in his eye as he prepared to slake the hunger burning inside of him.
    "Gently," he murmured to himself. "Go slowly." This was what he'd been waiting for, he reminded himself, but that was no reason to give in to indecorous savagery.
    He took his implement in hand, a grin spread across his face as he imagined the delights that were just a few, tantalizing inches in front of him. Now, finally, after all the trials and tribulations, after all the waiting, the missteps, the nervous negotiations, they were to be his. His!
    Hand trembling, he fought with himself, suddenly gripped by indecisiveness at the eleventh hour. Could he? Should he? Did he dare glaze those warm, circular mounds of wonder in sweet, sticky fluid? He wanted to, more than almost anything else in the world, wanted to so badly it was an almost physical pain in his chest.
    Then he looked at the golden mounds, and glanced at the tool in his hand. They were so large, and it was so small, and flimsy, there was no way it could be up to the task. If there was anything his years of traveling had taught him, it was that size, when all was said and done, truly did matter, in the end.
    Blushing, he stiffened with new-found resolve, and tried to catch her eye, but she was distracted, preoccupied.
    Cheeks flushed scarlet with embarrassment, he quietly cleared his throat, and, as she looked up at him with those fierce, proud, eyes, he sheepishly waved his pitiful plastic spork in the air and pantomimed pouring syrup on his pancakes, having completely forgotten, in the heat of the moment, nearly all of what little English he'd learned in school...


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

George Berger said:


> They were perfect - beautifully tan in color, firm, yet with just the right amount of give, and warm, so wonderfully, wonderfully warm. And they were so much larger than he'd expected, than he'd dared hope or dream they would be. They were so much different to the ones he was used to, back in Sweden, and he smiled in anticipation, a gleam in his eye as he prepared to slake the hunger burning inside of him.
> "Gently," he murmured to himself. "Go slowly." This was what he'd been waiting for, he reminded himself, but that was no reason to give in to indecorous savagery.
> He took his implement in hand, a grin spread across his face as he imagined the delights that were just a few, tantalizing inches in front of him. Now, finally, after all the trials and tribulations, after all the waiting, the missteps, the nervous negotiations, they were to be his. His!
> Hand trembling, he fought with himself, suddenly gripped by indecisiveness at the eleventh hour. Could he? Should he? Did he dare glaze those warm, circular mounds of wonder in sweet, sticky fluid? He wanted to, more than almost anything else in the world, wanted to so badly it was an almost physical pain in his chest.
> ...


This needs to happen!

I tip my hat to you sir.......amazing.


----------



## -alex- (Jul 12, 2011)

Ooh, your stuff is great.



smreine said:


> The Horny Games?


LOL! 

EDIT: Just to add, page five, and those two covers had me in stitches!


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

George Berger said:


> They were perfect - beautifully tan in color, firm, yet with just the right amount of give, and warm, so wonderfully, wonderfully warm. And they were so much larger than he'd expected, than he'd dared hope or dream they would be. They were so much different to the ones he was used to, back in Sweden, and he smiled in anticipation, a gleam in his eye as he prepared to slake the hunger burning inside of him.
> "Gently," he murmured to himself. "Go slowly." This was what he'd been waiting for, he reminded himself, but that was no reason to give in to indecorous savagery.
> He took his implement in hand, a grin spread across his face as he imagined the delights that were just a few, tantalizing inches in front of him. Now, finally, after all the trials and tribulations, after all the waiting, the missteps, the nervous negotiations, they were to be his. His!
> Hand trembling, he fought with himself, suddenly gripped by indecisiveness at the eleventh hour. Could he? Should he? Did he dare glaze those warm, circular mounds of wonder in sweet, sticky fluid? He wanted to, more than almost anything else in the world, wanted to so badly it was an almost physical pain in his chest.
> ...


 &#8230;She studied the man from afar; she did not think he had yet noticed his effect on her. For too long she had been forced to accept the limp, flat variety. Yes, the thinner counterpart had a purpose and function, but she had never felt quite full, never quite satisfied.
She drew in a quick gasp as the man's tool broke under the heavy weight. Quickly, she grabbed a sturdier, longer utensil. "Here," she said, "I think mine might better handle your hunger."
He did not reply, but he did take what she offered. Unable to leave, she sat at his table as she watched his continued assault of the round masses. She did not know where he had come from, but she knew she was going to find out. She needed to satisfy this sudden yearning for more.
She had heard rumors of men rebelling against the current breaking of fast mandates. Could he be one of the competitors? One of the men sent to compete for what they all longed and desired. Could he finally be the one to satiate their needs? She surely hoped so&#8230;


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Is it hot in here?

*fans pancakes*


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

No love for The Angry Billionaire, huh? That's not going to do anything for his mood.

Well, that's okay. I have dredged one more out of my Dropbox. I am sure somebody can put Some Woman to work. I mean, she's in a dress looking over her shoulder. That fits at least 90% of books out there.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

Your work really is impressive.



smreine said:


>


This may just be me...but it looks like the shadow of an Ewok over the "O" in "Book One."


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## AshMP (Dec 30, 2009)

smreine said:


> Now look what you made me do. GOOD JOB. I hope you two are happy with yourselves. I could have been doing something productive, but nooo...


I think I love you *Smreine*. This thread is hysterical and generous and you're so talented ... it's like a trifecta of goodness!


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## unkownwriter (Jun 22, 2011)

More great covers. Of course, now I want to write food porn--er, erotica.

And elalond, glad you enjoyed the link.


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## Romana Grimm (Mar 19, 2012)

Ooh, I'd love to have the "Angry Billionaire", but I fear the cover might already be claimed (I didn't read the whole thread). I have a story that would fit terribly well.  

My author name: Maria Santicelli
Title: Blind Desire

I've got no tagline because I'm pants at it (blurbs are already killing me -- a job in advertising would probably spontaneously combust me *sigh*), so this would be all. 

And to complete my needy post: you really are awesome, offering us such high class covers for zilch. Thank you!


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## NoCat (Aug 5, 2010)

This thread is awesome.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Romana Grimm said:


> Ooh, I'd love to have the "Angry Billionaire", but I fear the cover might already be claimed (I didn't read the whole thread). I have a story that would fit terribly well.
> 
> My author name: Maria Santicelli
> Title: Blind Desire
> ...


The power cover is yours!



Maybe this will brighten the Angry Billionaire's mod. Poor guy... so grumpy and possessive and mysterious, and I wish he would tie *me* to a rack in his bedroom and force feed me pancakes... wait, what?


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## Romana Grimm (Mar 19, 2012)

LOL, I'm sorry to disappoint, but my billionaire is not really a billionaire, and he's also not very angry  Bu I'll admit to a certain kinkiness, hehe  

Thanks a bunch! Should we ever meet, I'll buy you a (stud)muffin! *g*


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## olefish (Jan 24, 2012)

You really need to write a short or something for the Horny games cover.


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## 31842 (Jan 11, 2011)

Aaaand, I'm dead.  DEAD.  THE HORNY GAMES!?!?  WITH THE PANCAKES?!?!  SM, you have missed a calling...  I want you to publish a book of these covers.  Like the "Feminist Ryan Gosling" book?  Seriously.  DYING.  ME.  DEAD.  LAUGHING TOO HARD.


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## elalond (May 11, 2011)

smreine said:


> Now look what you made me do. GOOD JOB. I hope you two are happy with yourselves. I could have been doing something productive, but nooo...


It's amazing.*stares at in awe*

And nod, nod on the


> You really need to write a short or something for the Horny games cover.


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## RuthNestvold (Jan 4, 2012)

OH YOU WONDERFUL, CRAZY PEOPLE, THANK YOU SO MUCH! 

I've been sick the last couple of days, so I'm coming to the party late this time, and unfortunately, laughing still hurts my head a bit, but it doesn't matter. I was laughing so hard I cried! 

You guys really do need to write the pancake dude.


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## Sybil Nelson (Jun 24, 2010)

Okay, if no one is taking the Horny Games, I want it for my erotica pen name. It's absolutely perfect. I love it! Comic erotica with food. That would be right up my alley!


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## Sybil Nelson (Jun 24, 2010)

Or better yet, what about an anthology of food-driven erotica?


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Whether you can have the cover/title is up to George and Mallory.  I'm not going to use it. I'm just here for the lulz.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

Sybil Nelson said:


> Okay, if no one is taking the Horny Games, I want it for my erotica pen name. It's absolutely perfect. I love it! Comic erotica with food. That would be right up my alley!





smreine said:


> Whether you can have the cover/title is up to George and Mallory.  I'm not going to use it. I'm just here for the lulz.


As far as I am concerned, Horny Games needs to be reality.

If you want food based erotica...it's all yours.

BTW smreine. You designing ridiculous covers, and then having people write hilarious shorts...I think there is money to be made there. It's a type of satire that has yet to be done.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

MalloryMoutinho said:


> BTW smreine. You designing ridiculous covers, and then having people write hilarious shorts...I think there is money to be made there. It's a type of satire that has yet to be done.


I don't know about money, but it might be a fun way to do writing prompts. Ridiculous cover > Everyone writes 500 word flash fiction to fit cover > Hilarity ensues.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

smreine said:


> I don't know about money, but it might be a fun way to do writing prompts. Ridiculous cover > Everyone writes 500 word flash fiction to fit cover > Hilarity ensues.


DOOOOO EEEET!!!


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## RuthNestvold (Jan 4, 2012)

So, is the call now out for flash fiction food erotica for the Horny Games


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

I would LOVE to read your flash fiction, Ruth!

Would you guys want to do it just as a writing prompt on the board, or would you actually want to put it together in an antho? I'm game for whatever. Like I haven't made enough new work for myself lately.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

smreine said:


> I would LOVE to read your flash fiction, Ruth!
> 
> Would you guys want to do it just as a writing prompt on the board, or would you actually want to put it together in an antho? I'm game for whatever. Like I haven't made enough new work for myself lately.


Writing prompt on the board could be the most entertaining (maybe start a new thread?) But, for some reason, I feel like the antho has its benefits.

Others' thoughts?


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

KB threads are so fleeting and ephemeral. An e-anthology that gets pirated is _forever_!


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

George Berger said:


> KB threads are so fleeting and ephemeral. An e-anthology that gets pirated is _forever_!


That's a pretty good argument for making a collection of flash fiction called The Horny Games a thread rather than an anthology.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

smreine,

I suggest you start a new thread, and see who responds and their preferences.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

smreine said:


> That's a pretty good argument for making a collection of flash fiction called The Horny Games a thread rather than an anthology.


Live by The Google, die by the Google. 

_--George, mildly apologetic author of "The Nurse's Dirty Secret"..._


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## Sybil Nelson (Jun 24, 2010)

I think we can even come up with something more clever than an anthology. You have this average Joe who is literally hungry. All he wants is breakfast, but he has to go through all these sexquests to get his pancakes. Everyone writes a chapter. Just a thought.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

Sybil Nelson said:


> I think we can even come up with something more clever than an anthology. You have this average Joe who is literally hungry. All he wants is breakfast, but he has to go through all these sexquests to get his pancakes. Everyone writes a chapter. Just a thought.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I for one...LOVE...this idea! OMG all the genres!


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

"Eight waitresses. Seven states. Six housewives. Five time zones. Four cheerleaders. Three customs officers. Two countries. One hot, burning lust... for the perfect plate of pancakes. What would _you_ do for an unforgettable breakfast?"


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

George Berger said:


> "Eight waitresses. Seven states. Six housewives. Five time zones. Four cheerleaders. Three customs officers. Two countries. One hot, burning lust... for the perfect plate of pancakes. What would _you_ do for an unforgettable breakfast?"


You made me snort...you literally made me snort with laughter.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

MalloryMoutinho said:


> You made me snort...you literally made me snort with laughter.


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## MalloryMoutinho (Aug 24, 2012)

For anyone who was interested in The Horny Games..

IT'S FREAKIN' HAPPENING!!!

Here is the new thread: http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,127833.msg1890149.html#msg1890149


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## Amanda Brice (Feb 16, 2011)

smreine said:


> I don't know about money, but it might be a fun way to do writing prompts. Ridiculous cover > Everyone writes 500 word flash fiction to fit cover > Hilarity ensues.


DUDE. You could *so* charge for that! It could be a sort of subscription-based writing prompt exercise. Once a week a new ridiculous cover gets sent to everyone on the list and then they have to whip up 1000 words to fit it. I'd totally sign up.


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Amanda Brice said:


> DUDE. You could *so* charge for that! It could be a sort of subscription-based writing prompt exercise. Once a week a new ridiculous cover gets sent to everyone on the list and then they have to whip up 1000 words to fit it. I'd totally sign up.


As much as I like getting paid, money always, ALWAYS flows toward the writers!

But a humorous e-magazine with ridiculous cover writing prompts where authors split royalties? That would be feasible.

Maybe in 2015, when I have time again.


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## Zelah Meyer (Jun 15, 2011)

Only just seen this thread.  I just wanted to say that I love the covers - especially the funny titles!

It's also reasuring to see someone who knows what they're doing using Yataghan - I've picked that for my next title font.


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