# Hauling Checks - A dark comedy about aviation



## AlexStone (Nov 10, 2009)

Hi all, check out my new book











Hauling Checks is a comedy about the darker side of aviation. A cast of degenerate pilots, who work for a shady night time air cargo operation, take you on a flight through the unfriendly skies. The pilots abuse every Reg in the book in their quest to make deadlines for their high value cargo. As the company falls on hard times, management resorts to questionable measures to save the failing airline.

www.haulingchecks.com


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

Welcome to KindleBoards.  Thank you for sharing your book.
deb


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Alex--

Welcome to KindleBoards and congratulations on your book and your first post!

We invite you to use your book cover as your avatar and have links to your book and website in your signature. Because self-promotion is limited to one thread per book in the Book Bazaar, we have removed your posts in threads in the Book Corner and the bargain book thread in this forum. Most of our authors have found the best way to promote their books is to be as active throughout KindleBoards as time allows. This is your target audience--book lovers with Kindles!

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_The fine print:
Please add to this thread when you have news about your book rather than start a new one, it helps the members who are trying to follow you. You may have a separate thread for each of your books. You may respond to all posts, but if there have been no member posts, we ask that you wait a week before "bumping" the thread by posting back-to-back posts of your own. And we ask that Amazon reviews not be repeated here as they are easy to find at your book link. Also, full reviews from other sites should not be posted here, but you may post a short blurb and a link to the full review instead. All this, and more, is included in our Forum Decorum. From time to time our site rules may change; be sure to check Forum Decorum for the current guidelines and rules. _


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## AlexStone (Nov 10, 2009)

Hey, thanks to all those that are reading my book. If you're not reading it yet here's a link to a preview:

https://www.createspace.com/Preview/1061913


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## AlexStone (Nov 10, 2009)

I know this is the Kindle boards, but I thought I'd let you all know that the paperback of Hauling Checks is on Amazon now too. Here's the link:

http://www.amazon.com/Hauling-Checks-novel-Alex-Stone/dp/1449563333


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## AlexStone (Nov 10, 2009)

Here's what readers are saying about Hauling Checks:

Freight Doggin,

Hilarious book that opens your eyes to the fringes of aviation. Colorful characters and plenty of high jinx will keep you turning the pages quickly. If you have ever even thought of being a pilot this is a must read! I can only hope that the author will come out with more novels. - Amazon.com reviewer

Funniest flying book I ever read!,

Being a pilot myself I love any book dealing with flying. I can honestly say "Hauling Checks" is the funniest I've read. I couldn't put it down. The characters are so colorful and full of life and the classic "Freight Dog" mentality. I found myself, many times, laughing out loud at the many antics depicted. A truly wonderful book for a first time author. Hope to see more of this author's works in the future! I was very pleased to see this book come out for the Kindle. - Amazon.com reviewer

Oh, the memories!,

I saw the cover of this book and knew I had to read it. I used to fly checks back in the day and this book brings back some good memories! This book kept me laughing the whole time. For being the authors first book, this was fantastic. The characters in this book were classic "freight dogs". This book was a very easy read. - Amazon.com reviewer

Hilarious!!!,

I'm not a pilot but I found this book on the kindleboards and it looked interesting. The book was extreamely creative, especially for a new author. I loved the characters, The Co is my favorite. And The One Gallon Challenge was one of the funniest things I've ever read. - Amazon.com reviewer

A Former Freight Dawg Remembers!,

Alex Stone knows his freight dawgs and bottom-feeder freight companies! This book, a quick read, tells some of the odd-ball stories floating around the freight world. A fun read if you're a former (or current) freight dawg...we KNOW or have heard of people like those who populate Alex's book. Great Christmas gift for the aviator in your family or for a fun weekend read. - Amazon.com reviewer

Aviation at its Finest,

A funny, exaggerated look into a freight airline company and all of their over looked problems. Lots of hilarious segments will have your attention right from the get go and the page turning will not stop. An awesome read whether you are an airline pilot, "freight dog", or even if you've never flown in your life. This book is awesome. - Amazon.com reviewer

It's available on Kindle and all other ebook formats.

Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Hauling-Checks-a-novel-ebook/dp/B002WB107W

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/5892

www.haulingchecks.com


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## AlexStone (Nov 10, 2009)

An excerpt from _Hauling Checks_

Before long, the storms were right in front of us. I scanned the radar to find the path of least resistance through the line. As we entered the weather, the turbulence started to kick up, and heavy rain began to hammer the plane. I tightened my lap belt and turned up the cockpit lights to drown out the lightning. The plane got tossed around like a rag doll as the updrafts and downdrafts took us. 
"Ask for a block altitude," I told Chip. This would allow us to ride the waves through the storm easier without having to maintain a constant altitude. Chip didn't say a word. "Chip, you hear me?" I yelled. I looked over and realized he was catatonic. He sat there in his seat, staring straight ahead like he was looking into the face of a ghost. 
I got the block altitude myself. It seems like no matter who I fly with I always get stuck doing all the work. 
Damn worthless copilots! 
The lightning flashed as bright as daylight all around us as I continued to fight the storm. The lights in the rear cargo area flickered on and off as the boxes bounced around back there hitting the light switch. I watched our airspeed as it fluctuated wildly up and down, continually making power adjustments to keep the plane within tolerances. Saint Elmo's fire crept up the windscreen, and the radios blared with static interference. 
That's when I smelled the s***, literally. Chip had s*** himself.
The weather was over before long as we punched out the backside of the line but the s*** smell stayed for the rest of the night. What was worse was that, when Chip came out of his catatonic state and started speaking to air traffic control again, he started crying on the radio, sayingthings like "Tell my parents I love them," and "I'm too young to die." 
"Will you calm down?" I said. "You're spilling your placenta all over the radio." 
I had to pull his headset cords out of the mic jacks to save us from further embarrassment.


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## AlexStone (Nov 10, 2009)

Great new review by author Fran Lewis:

*Fly the Unfriendly Skies,*

"Hauling Checks" by Alex Stone is a humorous, yet very enlightening novel that brings to light a profession that so many people have probably never heard of, or would ever be brave enough to try. The occupation of Freight Dogs is unique and dangerous. Flying small airplanes in storms, fog, lightning, ice, and snow; Freight Dogs transport their cargo wherever and whenever, no matter what the conditions may be. This interesting and humorous novel kept my attention from the start.

In "Hauling Checks" the pilots of Checkflight Airlines persevere, risking life and limb every minute they are in the air, carrying canceled checks that have to be delivered to banks. Their boss (The Chief) does not care about the lives of his pilots, only the money he needs to keep his business afloat. The fact that the engine might be on fire, the wings might be so iced up that the plane may not make it off the ground, or the fog so dense that the pilots cannot see does not seem to faze him, nor does he care.

Resorting to unethical and shady business practices, The Chief is thoughtless, unfeeling, and mercenary. He cuts costs, salaries, pilots, and more in his final resort to save Checkflight when it becomes apparent that his airline might go under. In order to compensate for his lack of management skills, he decides to resort to some unsavory business practices such as having his pilots make drug runs, money laundering flights, and transporting people who he claims can sit on the floor of the plane without seatbelts or a seat, just a rope to tie around them to keep them from falling out of the plane. The situations will make you laugh, and keep you on the edge of your seat dying to see what happens next.

With a cast of characters so ill suited to their profession, the pilots create havoc wherever they go, and rarely make their destinations on schedule. This novel really keeps you laughing and yet it's a little frightening to think that these things could really happen. The narrator flies with one co-pilot that is always plastered and another who is depressed over two failed marriages and is just a drop delusional, which makes flying with him quite an experience.

These underpaid, unappreciated pilots of Checkflight Airlines clock an insurmountable number of hours flying for a company that gives them no perks, no bonuses, and certainly no help when trouble arises in the air. On one run they leave a door open and the checks fall out of the plane. Before you know it reporters are televising pictures of these bank checks raining all over downtown Cleveland. It is like an Abbot and Costello movie but even funnier.

Also part of the mix are Checkflight's two dispatchers, who are totally unfit for their positions, and have no clue as to what they are supposed to be doing. One of the dispatchers is senile, and barely remembers where she is, or her own name, and the other lives in her own imaginary world. You never know what is going to happen, and yet the situations that are described are so far out, you just have to laugh or stop and say: "You have to be kidding."

The pilots fly planes that are poorly maintained and in terrible disrepair. Fixing and repairing planes is out of the question. Mechanical failures arise constantly and the people who own Checkflight airlines do not care. The safety of the pilots is not their concern, only the timely delivery of the cargo. I would not exactly call them Checkflight airlines, maybe No Budget Airlines or High Jinks Airlines. But, whatever you call them, this book is great.

For those men out there who are Freight Dogs, you deserve a lot of credit. This book, although humorous, shows the seedier side of flying. As a pilot who has experienced a lot of situations in the air, and as someone who was a Freight Dog, the author writes from experience making the novel more realistic to the reader. "Hauling Checks" is so funny that I could not put it down. The stories, the incidents, and the characters will keep the reader astounded until the very end.

I never give stars for a book. I give this book FIVE NEW PLANES IN PERFECT WORKING CONDITION, FIVE NEW DISPATCHERS THAT CAN REMEMBER WHAT THEY ARE DOING, and ONE MECHANIC THAT CAN HANDLE THE REPAIRS. - Author Fran Lewis

www.haulingchecks.com


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## AlexStone (Nov 10, 2009)

Become a fan of *Hauling Checks  * on Facebook!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hauling-Checks/215310928630


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## JennaAnderson (Dec 25, 2009)

This sounds really interesting. It also sounds like a storyline my brother-in-laws would like. I'll let them know about it.

Jenna


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## AlexStone (Nov 10, 2009)

Thanks Jenna!


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## AlexStone (Nov 10, 2009)

Check out these great new reviews for _Hauling Checks_:

http://podpeep.blogspot.com/2010/02/review-hauling-checks.html

http://ziarias.blogspot.com/2010/02/hauling-checks-alex-stone-author-for.html


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## AlexStone (Nov 10, 2009)

Great new review of _Hauling Checks _ from metroreader.blogspot.com

*Irreverent Comedic Read!, *

Examining the hilarious underside of the cargo shipping business is _Hauling Checks _ by Alex Stone. The narrator is a "freight dog," a cargo pilot, employed by Checkflight, a company that primarily transports checks for banks. Unfortunately, for Checkflight the modern world is transitioning from paper instruments of payment to electronic payments. This drives the unscrupulous company to extreme cost-cutting measures such as using barely serviceable planes to employing pilots with sketchy or non-existent credentials.

As Checkflight's business situation worsens the Chief, the owner, concocts increasingly desperate measures to keep the company flying, including, transporting farm animals; illegal drugs; and money laundering. In the midst of this chaos is the narrator, a relatively conscientious pilot, who is surrounded by a cast of misfits, drunkards, pathological liars, and other degenerates.

Stone is a talented writer with a deft comedic touch. For instance, witness this passage:

What's your first instinct when the Feds show up for a ramp check? Show them your certificates? Maybe if you work for another airline. If you work for Checkflight, set the plane on fire and run for the fence. If you get caught, deny everything, claim you've never seen the plane before in your life.

_Hauling Checks _ is an irreverent and entertaining read!

*Download Hauling Checks  for $1.99 at Smashwords with this code: EC23A*


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