# New Game: Horrible Names for Children



## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

My brother and sister-in-law are having a 3rd kid and they just found out yesterday that this one will be their first girl. So, I'm helping them come up with names (OK, so 'helping' might be too strong a word) We went from fun names of fictional characters to really horrible names from fiction ... so here's the game:

What are the names of great characters from fiction (books, tv, movies, whatever... ) that would be horrible names if you gave it to your child?

I"ll start: Zira (_Planet of the Apes_)


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

I've read two books recently that had a character named Jubal (granted, one character it was his middle name and only got mentioned in passing). Apparently it is biblical but I just don't like it, myself.

L


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## kdawna (Feb 16, 2009)

How about Gertrude(I had a school friend with this name) and Geraldine (my husband's grandmothers name)
    Brenda J.


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## DenverRalphy (Mar 24, 2010)

"Buttercup" - The Princess Bride

"7" - The name George Costanza wanted to name his hypothetical daughter on the show Seinfeld.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

How about Nyota Uhura?


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

My great grandmother was named Ernestine. . . . . .my mother did not feel the need to name me after her, for which I am eternally grateful.

I once babysat for a kid named Garth Castle.  I am not making this up.

I also once had a client called Fink.  That was his last name.  He was a lawyer.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Blissenobiarella, from the Foundation series.


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## DenverRalphy (Mar 24, 2010)

How about "Trillian" from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxay? (actually, that one isn't so bad)


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## DenverRalphy (Mar 24, 2010)

Susan in VA said:


> Blissenobiarella, from the Foundation series.


Oh that sparked a name to mind... There's always good ole "Barbarella".


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

DenverRalphy said:


> Oh that sparked a name to mind... There's always good ole "Barbarella".


That opens up a whole range of great horrid names:

Xena
Cormac Fitzgeoffrey
Asterix
Aunty Entity


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

I just finished reading *Magic's Pawn* for the Quasi-April game. I really liked the book--a lot--but there was one character named Tylendel which my brain kept switching to Tylenol. I think he could have had a better name...LOL


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Geoffrey said:


> Asterix


Oh, I love Asterix. Also Tin Tin.

L


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

Drizella


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## intinst (Dec 23, 2008)

I don't think Mork or Alf would work out well in school.


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## Margaret (Jan 1, 2010)

Years ago I had a neighbor whose first name was Dovey and last name was Dearie.  I always had the urge to call her Dovey Dearie when I spoke to her, as though it were all one name.


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## intinst (Dec 23, 2008)

I worked with a man named Roland Stone, and wondered about his parents.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

intinst said:


> I worked with a man named Roland Stone, and wondered about his parents.


Note to self: Do not name children when stoned.


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## Margaret (Jan 1, 2010)

intinst said:


> I worked with a man named Roland Stone, and wondered about his parents.


His children would have a song they could really relate to though.


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

My oldest daughter was originally going to be named Megan Storm, but Megan was too popular. I went in search for a new name and decided on Rayna (named after a character in an episode of the original Star Trek series played by Louise Sorrel (Vivian in Days of Our Lives now) but I think it was spelled Reina on ST)

Anyway, I couldn't name her Rayna Storm because I figure she would have killed me when she got older. But I considered it.... Briefly!


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## 911jason (Aug 17, 2009)

As a 911 Dispatcher, I run into lots of, umm... interesting names. I recently had to make missing juvenile broadcasts for "Imunique Brown" and then a week or two later, had another one for "Unique" (I can't remember the last name on that one). Also had one for Tequila several months ago... gosh, what are these parents thinking?!?


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Some parents apparently aren't thinking much at all...  It's fine when you get an unusual name and then change the spelling, like Reina to Rayna, or when you have a name that already comes in lots of variations, like Catherine and Katherine, or Susan and Suzanne, but I have to grit my teeth when I come across something that can only be a misspelling of a well-known name.  Not a name from another language or culture, just parents who couldn't be bothered to get their child's name right.  Like Micheal for Michael.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

My husband had an employee whose wife had a baby and they named the kid Hunter. That by itself isn't so bad, but then baby number 2 came along and they named him Fisher. He stopped working for Tony, but we wondered if he had a third kid, what they would name him. Poacher? Scalper? Camper? Logger? We had a lot of chuckles over that one.

L


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

I have a nephew whose full name is Tim Elvis Ronquillo .... it's just sad.


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## akagriff (Sep 8, 2009)

Since we're are including real-life names:
The kid that lived in the house next to me was Tor Nadeau


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## libros_lego (Mar 24, 2009)

From "Boy Meets World", Topanga.


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## Thumper (Feb 26, 2009)

My son played t-ball with a girl named LaCretia. Which the kids warped to LaCreature...


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## Sariy (Jan 18, 2009)

My s-i-l had a student named Tiara, but it was spelled Tequenna


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## Sometimes Lucy (Jan 28, 2010)

My sister-in-law had a little girl in her kindergarten class. Her name was pronounced "shithod"...it was spelled "Shithead". I kid you not, my SIL decided to take the nametags off of the lockers this year!


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## Carol Hanrahan (Mar 31, 2009)

My neice's best friend gave her son the middle name, Neveah.  It's heaven backwards, and she told me it's a popular name.  Heaven backwards - just what you'd think when they're being bad.....


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

Sariy said:


> My s-i-l had a student named Tiara, but it was spelled Tequenna


Teh-kwenya? Pronounced Tiara? that's just wrong.

Hi, My Name is Jeffrey - that's spelled G-e-o-r-h-i-a-n-n-e


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## B-Kay 1325 (Dec 29, 2008)

My youngest DD named her oldest DD Mina (from Bram Stokers Dracula) and her youngest DD Encina Neveah (the reason behind this was wanting something biblical, I have to admit that I was the one who told her about doing this after meeting a baby named Neveah).  Apparently there has been quite a run on this name.

For years I worked at a Title Company and some of the names that came across my desk were hysterical, such as "woman married a man with the last name of DooDah and I kid you not she named her child "Zippidy DooDah" sp? I actually met this woman who told me this story and it was all I could do not to fall out of my chair, she said that she had always wanted to name a daughter Zippidy.  The Trout family kids are Rainbow and River, and even as sad as these are I think the worst one was Ewe Fink.


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

Frank Zappa named his DD MoonUnit & his son Dweezil.


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## tdmsu (Feb 5, 2010)

I think Zaphod would cruel, though the character has cool features such as multiple heads.  

My wife had to stop someone she knows from naming her daughter "Summers Eve"  

I once had a student called Mercedes Lexus, and I've heard of a poor child named DaMillion.

Back to literary names:

Atticus might be a great, great character, but not so good for a name.
I would not wish Ichabod on an enemy.


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## desilu (Dec 28, 2009)

I am a teacher. You wouldn't believe some of the names . . . My favorite was a sweet girl named Chanel. Her middle name? Yep, you guessed it . . .  Number 5. Sigh.

I am happy not to be named for either of my grandmothers. One was Blanche, the other Mildred.


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## JennaAnderson (Dec 25, 2009)

Leslie said:


> I just finished reading *Magic's Pawn* for the Quasi-April game. I really liked the book--a lot--but there was one character named Tylendel which my brain kept switching to Tylenol. I think he could have had a better name...LOL


I'll be honest - if I pick up a book and the names are hard to say I skip the book.

At work I recently had to send a letter to *Richard Kramp*.


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

My mother was going to name me Hester because The Scarlet Letter was her favorite book. I'm so glad my grandmother talked her out of it.


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## Neo (Mar 30, 2009)

LOVE the book and the character but... Paksenarrion??


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## loonlover (Jul 4, 2009)

Names seen on insurance claims (long before HIPPA became law):


Shitonia, Natal, and Ima Hogg.


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## Scheherazade (Apr 11, 2009)

Michael Jackson must count as Science Fiction at the very least... so I will submit:

Blanket


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## Alle Meine Entchen (Dec 6, 2009)

My brother named his youngest Gator (as in aligator) and his oldest Denzil and his daughter Emaline, but those 2 are family names.  I have an aunt Geradine and she named her daughter Gera, but she hates it and never goes by it.

You also have to think of initials when naming a child.  I've heard of people whose initials are ASS.  Not very attractive.

Last names are also important.  My dad is Ben Hurt and my brother is Ben Hurt II.  They have hard times @ hosptials.


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## MAGreen (Jan 5, 2009)

Well, my dad was given the moniker of Ethelbert, be shortened it to Bert as soon as he was able to. For girls names, ther was an Abcde in one of my daughters classes, pronounced "Ab-city", although I am sure she learned her alphabet very young. When we have another kid, if it's a boy I want Hunter, and for a girl Forrest with Green as our last name....
In consideration of intials, I will not allow my son's middle name to start with a u, or my daughters to begin with a. 

As for literary names, how about...Sookie?


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

tdmsu said:


> My wife had to stop someone she knows from naming her daughter "Summers Eve"


I talked a patient out of naming her baby girl "Placenta." She said she heard it in the delivery room and thought it was a pretty word.

I had another patient whose daughter was named Female (she pronounced it fee-MAH-lay). She said the hospital named her. Seriously...


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

In high school there was a boy in the class named Zandy. . . .not, as far as I was able to tell, a diminutive for Alexander.  But, then, his parents were Fern and Forrest Glenn. .  . . so it could have been worse. . . . .


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## Scheherazade (Apr 11, 2009)

How about River from Firefly.  It's an odd name, but I actually kind of like it.  It fit her.


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## LCEvans (Mar 29, 2009)

I used to work for a large photography studio typing school kids' names on their composite and group photos. Among the many weird names I remember: 3 sisters whose names were Porsche, Mercedes, and Corvette. A boy whose first name was Dirtrail. Several kids with the first name Alien. Many, many whose parents didn't know how to spell Chastity or they wanted an alternative spelling, so the kids were named Chassidy, Chasity, Chasdy, Chasdity, Chasidy, etc. And one little girl whose first name was Lesbia.


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

well, we named our oldest son Garran as an alternate spelling for the hero in David Edding's Belgariad. (Garion) DH really wanted that name, but I explained that teacher's woild pronounce it as Gair-Ion.. so we changed it to be pronounced phonetically the way Dh heard it in his head Gair-an.


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## libros_lego (Mar 24, 2009)

BTackitt said:


> well, we named our oldest son Garran as an alternate spelling for the hero in David Edding's Belgariad. (Garion) DH really wanted that name, but I explained that teacher's woild pronounce it as Gair-Ion.. so we changed it to be pronounced phonetically the way Dh heard it in his head Gair-an.


So cool.


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## Chad Winters (Oct 28, 2008)

Ima is a bad first name you always end up married to a Pigg or Fink or Cox or Titmeister (yes it happened)


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## 911jason (Aug 17, 2009)

...I think I'd have gone by *RICK*.


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

Alle Meine Entchen said:


> You also have to think of initials when naming a child. I've heard of people whose initials are ASS. Not very attractive.


I hope my middle daughter doesn't marry anybody with a last name that starts with "S" she's Ashlyn Storm


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

luvmy4brats said:


> I hope my middle daughter doesn't marry anybody with a last name that starts with "S" she's Ashlyn Storm


She could keep her present name, of course. Lots of us do that. Then she'd just be ASD: atrial septal defect.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

luvmy4brats said:


> I hope my middle daughter doesn't marry anybody with a last name that starts with "S" she's Ashlyn Storm


My initials are GAS ....


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

Here are 4 names you should never name your boy child:  d'Artagnan, Athos, Porthos, and Aramis ....  unless you want them to get beat up every day after school.


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

I think Draco and Hermione are probably good names to avoid.


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## DYB (Aug 8, 2009)

Scheherazade said:


> How about River from Firefly. It's an odd name, but I actually kind of like it. It fit her.


Well, there was once River Phoenix! He had a sister named Rain Phoenix. And a brother named Leaf Phoenix. But Leaf, when he started acting, renamed himself Joaquin Phoenix. (Yes, the guy from "Gladiator," etc.)

Gwyneth Paltrow and the dude from "Coldplay" named their daughter "Apple."

And Demi Moore and Bruce Willis named their daughters "Rumer Glenn Willis," "Scout LaRue Willis," and "Tallulah Belle Willis."


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## DYB (Aug 8, 2009)

And I once had dealings on the phone with a guy whose names was "Hay."  The thing is my instinct when I answer the phone is to say "Hey, so-and-so."  So, without meaning to, every time he'd be on the other end I'd say, "Hey...Hay."  I could never stop myself!


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## Scheherazade (Apr 11, 2009)

DYB said:


> Well, there was once River Phoenix! He had a sister named Rain Phoenix. And a brother named Leaf Phoenix. But Leaf, when he started acting, renamed himself Joaquin Phoenix. (Yes, the guy from "Gladiator," etc.)
> 
> Gwyneth Paltrow and the dude from "Coldplay" named their daughter "Apple."
> 
> And Demi Moore and Bruce Willis named their daughters "Rumer Glenn Willis," "Scout LaRue Willis," and "Tallulah Belle Willis."


Heh, I have an uncle named Scott LaRue. I've always kind of liked the name Tallulah Belle for some reason though.


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## Reyn (Feb 10, 2009)

When I had my twin boys, I had Hunter picked out but didn't have another name yet.  My FIL (now ex) wanted me to name them Hunter and Fisher.  I opted for Hunter and Tyler.  

In our local phonebook, we have Ima Pigg, Ura Pigg, and seems like some other pigs.  

Being a teacher, names were very limited for me. There were always certain names I had to avoid. I didn't want to name my kids after some of the ones I have taught.  

My favorites are the ones that are not spelled anywhere near how they are pronounced.


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## DYB (Aug 8, 2009)

David Beckham and Scary Spice named their kid "Brooklyn."


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

> Gwyneth Paltrow and the dude from "Coldplay" named their daughter "Apple."
> 
> And Demi Moore and Bruce Willis named their daughters "Rumer Glenn Willis," "Scout LaRue Willis," and "Tallulah Belle Willis."


Those were the ones that irked me; as well as: Soeil Moon Frye and Courtney Cox naming her kid Coco. My baby names book from when I was expecting said there are hundreds with the name CocaCola. My sister went to school with a girl named October...who names their kid after a month?

When I was a kid there was a foreign guy in the phone book who got so many crank calls that his # had to be changed to a private unlisted #
His name was: Bippin Bahari Dickshit


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## durphy (Nov 5, 2008)

I always liked Chrystal Shanda Leer

How about Moe Sizlak?


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## Chad Winters (Oct 28, 2008)

sjc said:


> My sister went to school with a girl named October...who names their kid after a month?


well June, May and April are pretty popular so I guess it's ok if it's a spring month


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

I call my youngest 2 BRATs Pickle & Troll. In public even.


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## Hoosiermama (Dec 28, 2009)

My son played baseball with a boy one time, named (and I am NOT kidding)...Chance Lay. Guess how he was conceived (and which the mother bragged about)?


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## Trilby (Jul 26, 2009)

Leslie said:


> My husband had an employee whose wife had a baby and they named the kid Hunter. That by itself isn't so bad, but then baby number 2 came along and they named him Fisher. He stopped working for Tony, but we wondered if he had a third kid, what they would name him. Poacher? Scalper? Camper? Logger? We had a lot of chuckles over that one.
> 
> L


That's mint! I love it!


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## Trilby (Jul 26, 2009)

Geoffrey said:


> Teh-kwenya? Pronounced Tiara? that's just wrong.
> 
> Hi, My Name is Jeffrey - that's spelled G-e-o-r-h-i-a-n-n-e


I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying! lol


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## Trilby (Jul 26, 2009)

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> well June, May and April are pretty popular so I guess it's ok if it's a spring month


I know someone who named their Daughter, Mabel June...


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## Trilby (Jul 26, 2009)

Some people I know said that when they went to get married and the hubby stated his first name, Hershel and the Priest kind of laughed and said, "well it could be worse, it could be Oscar."  To which the man replied, "Oscar is my middle name" lol


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## Archer (Apr 25, 2009)

I have a grand-nephew named (no lie):

'Rupert Kosmos Augustus (last name withheld).'

Never name your child while under the influence of controlled substances, much less 'ought-to-be-controlled' substances such as idiocy.


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## Greenkeeper (Mar 16, 2010)

Worst I ever heard was La-a. How is that pronounced? Just like it's spelled: LaDasha.


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

ok.. Firstnames are bad, but what about surnames? There are those, like the aforementioned Dickshit above, who somewhere along the line you would think SOMEONE would have said, "Oh please, I am changing my last name."

DH was a Marine. While we were stationed in Japan, one of the young men working for him had the surname of Glascock. I told DH well, he made it through Marine bootcamp with that, so I hope no one is dumb enough to tease him now about it.. I mean really what could they possibly come up with that his DI didn't?


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## intinst (Dec 23, 2008)

I always thought that perhaps his name contributed to his being one of the best (and meanest) middle linebackers to ever play football, Richard Marvin Butkus. I mean. don't you know all the jokes made about his name in school early on. Hey,


Spoiler



Dick Butt Kiss


! And then the fight started...


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## loca (Jan 3, 2010)

DYB said:


> David Beckham and Scary Spice named their kid "Brooklyn."


I like that, except when its gets abbreviated to Brook. Seems kind of feminine.

What about Chandeliere, or Crystal


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

When I worked as a test administrator, there was a young man (from Thailand I think) who came in for a series of tests with the name of


Spoiler



Prikshit


. He had been in the U.S. since childhood; you'd think he would have figured out that he should maybe change his name here.

What made it worse was that at a couple of points in the testing procedure I had to go call out people's names in a crowded room.

And one of the administrative assistants in the same company was named Renia. Ree-nee-ah, right? Nope, she said it was pronounced the same as Renee, Reh-nay.


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## Tip10 (Apr 16, 2009)

Well in literature there's always Elphaba

or in real life Picabo Street (there was a funny story running around the Internet recently (veracity unknown) about how she'd become a nurse, an ICU nurse to be exact, and that they asked her to be careful answering the phone ---- Picabo, ICU).

Of course if you are looking for odd names in literature Piers Anthony books are full of them.

I once worked with a man named William Billy Williams


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

loca said:


> What about Chandeliere, or Crystal


My sister's name is Crystal.


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## Alle Meine Entchen (Dec 6, 2009)

Tip10 said:


> I once worked with a man named William Billy Williams


My aunt adopted 4 foster children. When it came to the names, all of them wanted to keep their names, but my aunt did change the youngest's name. If they hadn't his name would have been Robert Nathan Roberts. She just dropped the Robert (he didn't mind since he's always gone by Nat).


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## OwlEyez (Dec 30, 2009)

I know a Bill Bill, married Tammy.  I always refer to them together as a unit "Bill & Tammy Bill".  Wondered why he didn't stick with William??


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## DYB (Aug 8, 2009)

I went to school with a Russian girl whose last name was spelled, I'm not making this up, "Fucks."  Its original Russian pronunciation would have been "Fewks."  The problem is that that's how it was transliterated into English by some Russian bureaucrat as he/she was filling out this poor girl's Visa back in the mother country.  I suspect that government official had no idea what they were spelling and how miserable they were going to be making this girl's (and her entire family's) life.


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## Alle Meine Entchen (Dec 6, 2009)

I just remembered!  I grew up w/ a family and the Parent's names were Gale and Gail.  The Dad was a twin, so it was Gale and Dale.  We called them Mr and Mrs Gale/Gail, depending on who we were talking to/about (Mom, Mrs. Gail called)


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

We have a client at work named Michael Michael 
We call him Mikey Mike


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## sillyolebear (Apr 27, 2010)

my grandfather had a friend named Donald Laduck.  I knew twins one and two when I was in school.


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## Toronto_LV (Apr 14, 2010)

Oh oh!!! Pick me!!!



ELVIRA


Yes, that's right, my name... HORRIBLE name for a child. Not only were there witch taunts and Oak Ridge Boys melodies haunting me, but I even picked up a baby name book once and looked it up...and the book said something like "Very old-fashioned name, do not name your child this"


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## Angela (Nov 2, 2008)

Knew a couple who wanted their boys to have tough sounding names for when they grew up to play football. Their names are Tank and Canon... AND, they are the tiny and petit like their mom!!


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## Jeff (Oct 28, 2008)

Leslie said:


> My husband had an employee whose wife had a baby and they named the kid Hunter. That by itself isn't so bad, but then baby number 2 came along and they named him Fisher. He stopped working for Tony, but we wondered if he had a third kid, what they would name him. Poacher? Scalper? Camper? Logger? We had a lot of chuckles over that one.


My cousin worked for your husband?


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Toronto_LV said:


> Oh oh!!! Pick me!!!
> 
> ELVIRA
> 
> Yes, that's right, my name... HORRIBLE name for a child. Not only were there witch taunts and Oak Ridge Boys melodies haunting me, but I even picked up a baby name book once and looked it up...and the book said something like "Very old-fashioned name, do not name your child this"


Looking at your signature, you also have a mouthful of a name: 6 syllables between first and last (Elvira Orlando). And then those two vowels bumping up against one another (A at the end and O at the beginning). But...look at it this way, it's memorable and that's helpful for you in business...and I think you can make Elvira work towards your advantage since it is a name people knowl

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jeff said:


> My cousin worked for your husband?


I thought we were the cousins, Jeff...


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Angela said:


> Knew a couple who wanted their boys to have tough sounding names for when they grew up to play football. Their names are Tank and Canon... AND, they are the tiny and petit like their mom!!


Did they mean Cannon, like the shooting thing? Good Lord, they can't even spell...LOL

This could actually be a great story...petit, twinky guys with big butch names...LOL


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## Jeff (Oct 28, 2008)

Leslie said:


> I thought we were the cousins, Jeff...


Ah, that's right. But I was mistaken earlier. _Our_ cousin, has twins named Hunter and Fisher so they can't be the same as the two children you mentioned.


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## webhill (Feb 12, 2009)

I went to high school with a girl named Love, and so our history teacher, refusing to call her that, called us all "Mr" or "Miss" Lastname. 

I also went to high school with a girl whose first name was Toia, pronounced "toy." Her last name was Lett. No one ever believes that this is actually true, but honestly it is.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jeff said:


> Ah, that's right. But I was mistaken earlier. _Our_ cousin, has twins named Hunter and Fisher so they can't be the same as the two children you mentioned.


Thank the stars above that they didn't have triplets...LOL...I sure don't want a Scalper in my lineage (Mississippi Parker is colorful enough...  )


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## freelantzer (Apr 28, 2010)

I recently read that a baby name that's soaring in popularity is Sookie. I wouldn't name my child that . . . perhaps a pet, but not a child.


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## Alle Meine Entchen (Dec 6, 2009)

freelantzer said:


> I recently read that a baby name that's soaring in popularity is Sookie. I wouldn't name my child that . . . perhaps a pet, but not a child.


um, yeah, let's name our child after a character that hears voices in her head, that's always a good idea. When I was younger, I did have this thing for wanting to name my children after names in the family. I told this to my aunt and she thought it wasn't a good idea b/c "you have an aunt named America and if you named your child that then everyone would call her Murky". My family's kinda random.


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## maryannaevans (Apr 10, 2010)

My grandmothers were Mary Alice and Anna Bell.  I like my name, but I could so easily have been Alice Bell...ew.

We briefly thought about giving our daughter the name Amanda, followed by my husband's middle name, Lynn.  Then we said it out loud and knew that two musicians could not name their child after a mandolin.  I did, however, name a very eccentric character in my second book Amanda-Lynne.

In the early part of the 20th century, southerners gave their children some real humdinger names.  On my family tree are Horace Earle, Irma Lee, Irvin Edison, Willis Burnell, Willene Kelly, Ola, Dovey, Clara Lujine, Vester, Creroe, Devan Grover...okay, I'll stop.  I can hardly stand it myself.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

In the TV show "Major Dad", the mom's name was Polly.  One episode was about her middle name, which she didn't want to tell anybody, but had to because she'd married the Major and needed to be put in his file for dependent benefits.

Turns out her middle name was Esther.

So she was Polly Esther.


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## Nicolas (Apr 25, 2010)

My grandmother always wanted to christen her daughter Anna. Unlucky for her, she married to a man whose family name was "Mann". Note that in Hungary family name goes first, so the child would've been "Mann Anna" which sounds really weird. So she had to christen my mom to another name


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## 4Katie (Jun 27, 2009)

I used to babysit for Merry Christmas. Her full name was Merry Jane Christmas. After a few years I think her mom figured out she'd make a mistake, and if you called the girl Merry, Mom would correct you and say her name is Merry JANE. Yeah, cuz nobody would crack that code!


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## 4Katie (Jun 27, 2009)

This is serously one of my favorite subjects.

I new a guy with four brothers - all named Timothy. They went by the intial T and their middle names.

I knew a Thomas Thomas.

My DH went to school with Frosty Winter Knight.



> I had another patient whose daughter was named Female (she pronounced it fee-MAH-lay). She said the hospital named her. Seriously...


I registered a little girl for school once with that same story!
Me: What a pretty name. How did you pick it?
Mom: Oh, the nice nurses at the hospital suggested it.


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## 4Katie (Jun 27, 2009)

How about Dick Wacker? He's a local plumber.


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## Victorine (Apr 23, 2010)

I have a few...

When I was a telemarketer (yes flog me now) I called a woman named "Candy Cane"... no joke.  And I HAD to say both names, it was policy.  I tried very hard but kind of laughed while asking for her.  I was embarrassed.  I don't remember if she bought anything.  

My aunt's name was Minnie... and she married someone with the last name of Van.  (This was before there were such things a Minivans... so it was only funny later on after they were not married anymore.)

And here's the last one... my maiden name is "Camp", and my brother always swore he was going to name his first born after the MC in To Kill A Mockingbird.  (He didn't.)  But it was always funny to think about.

Vicki


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

Both of my maternal grandparents had names that were very country. My Grandfather's name was Ora Achord and my Grandmother was Dulcie May. When the Cabbage Patch dolls came out many years ago, I stood in line to get my daughter one and the name it came with was Dulcie May. Now that is not a common name, so I was very surprised.

My cousin named her daughter Hailye which is pronounced Haley. I can't figure out why she spelled it that way. There is no chance of anyone spelling it correctly.


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## Alle Meine Entchen (Dec 6, 2009)

Kathy said:


> My cousin named her daughter Hailye which is pronounced Haley. I can't figure out why she spelled it that way. There is no chance of anyone spelling it correctly.


I hate it when people do that. DH and I both have v common names, so we always have people calling our names, but not for us. W/ my name, there are @ least 5 different ways to spell it and no one (not even DH) spells it right. This is why DD's name is spelled the way it sounds.


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## Toronto_LV (Apr 14, 2010)

Thanks Leslie!!


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## Aravis60 (Feb 18, 2009)

Kathy said:


> Both of my maternal grandparents had names that were very country. My Grandfather's name was Ora Achord and my Grandmother was Dulcie May. When the Cabbage Patch dolls came out many years ago, I stood in line to get my daughter one and the name it came with was Dulcie May. Now that is not a common name, so I was very surprised.


My Cabbage Patch doll came with the name Lorena. It always made me think of this:
http://www.visitzanesville.com/lorena_sternwheeler


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## 4Katie (Jun 27, 2009)

My mother-in-law's name was Ona Belle. 

DH had an aunt named Elva Purl.


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

my son used to date an Ona Leigh (surname not added here)
I used to hum "Puff the Magic Dragon" ALOT.


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## Archer (Apr 25, 2009)

Just think! He could sing 'Ona Leigh you' to her.

My nephew's only son is named (drum roll please): Rupert Kosmos Augustus (last name).  
I honestly cringed.


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## Blanche (Jan 4, 2010)

> I am happy not to be named for either of my grandmothers. One was *Blanche*, the other Mildred.


Alas.... I WAS named after my great grandmother.  45 years later and I'm still trying to get over it...


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## crca56 (Dec 20, 2008)

i had an aunt fanny bell. dh had an aunt halloween, my daddy went to school with an ophelia butts, in the dallas area there were 2 brothers, oranjello(orahnjelo) and lemonjello(lemahnjelo).yes those two are real. i knew their elementry school principal as well as their juvenile probation officer
speaking of the female story, my sister worked at a hospital in mobile alabama.there was a lady that named her daughter pajama (pajamma) thought it was pretty, found it in sears catalog


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## mom133d (aka Liz) (Nov 25, 2008)

A friend of mine swears this name was in the Atlanta phone book: Straiton Hard III

I've also heard of nosmoking (no smockin). Named after the sign she saw in the OR - No Smoking


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## Margaret (Jan 1, 2010)

mom133d said:


> I've also heard of nosmoking (no smockin). Named after the sign she saw in the OR - No Smoking


I have heard of that one as well, but it was divided this way: Nosmo King


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

4Katie said:


> I new a guy with four brothers - all named Timothy. They went by the intial T and their middle names.


This reminds me of some kids I went to school with... four brothers, all with names starting with J. Two of them were Joseph and Joel. Of course in school they both ended up as Joe. So one of them decided he was going to go by a different name, and picked Timothy, which is what I knew him as, from about 7th grade all the way through high school. When he went off to college I guess he reverted to using his real name. Now we're all 50ish, and I still call him Tim or Timothy, to the amusement of his wife and the total confusion of his friends.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

When my mother went to college, her roommate was Betsy and was from Savannah, Georgia, so my mother nicknamed her "Georgia." She named her first daughter Georgia. When I finally met Betsy, many, many years later, she introduced herself to me as "Aunt Georgia" (one of those phony aunt people) much to the amazement of her daughter, who never knew about the nickname. My mother still calls her Georgia (60+ years later), as do I.

L


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## Jeff (Oct 28, 2008)

My father-in-law's name was Joesph and he was known to friends and family as Joe. His brother's name was Orville but he hated that name and told people he was Joe. Family reunions were confusing.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

That's not confusing. . .just two Joes? . . . .dead easy to deal with.  At our family reunions there are always at least three Johns and usually at least three Michaels.  And frequently two Richards.  

Oh, and my cousins are all named Mary -- all in the same family even. . .but only one goes by Mary. . . . .


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## maryannaevans (Apr 10, 2010)

I grow an antique rose called "Isabella Sprunt."  I'm sure it was named after some poor woman.  (I think Isabella is very pretty, but in combination with Sprunt, not so much.)  Fortunately, she lived in the mid-1800s, and possibly that name didn't sound so awful back then.


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## Jeff (Oct 28, 2008)

maryannaevans said:


> I grow an antique rose called "Isabella Sprunt." I'm sure it was named after some poor woman. (I think Isabella is very pretty, but in combination with Sprunt, not so much.) Fortunately, she lived in the mid-1800s, and possibly that name didn't sound so awful back then.


Hahaha. Before George Carlin the name would have been fine.


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## Cliff Ball (Apr 10, 2010)

My last name is Ball, so you can imagine all sorts of ways people pick on you. My parents keep joking they could've called me Basket, Base, Volley, Harry.... or a sister could be called Charity.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

cliffball said:


> My last name is Ball, so you can imagine all sorts of ways people pick on you. My parents keep joking they could've called me Basket, Base, Volley, Harry.... or a sister could be called Charity.


My first name went from Geoff to Gee-off and then quickly downhill from there ...


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

These aren't characters from literature, but are from real life:

Crystal Chanda Leer (My all-time favorite!)

Robin Banks (My 2nd favorite)

Shithead (don't know her last name). She was the first baby born in the new year in a town in my state. Her name was/is pronounced Shi-thE-ud.  Or Shi-theed. The jury's out on the pronunciation.  LOL

This one isn't real, but I always loved the thought of the name Cliff Hanger.


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

My ex-husband was name Henry Woodrow Wilson, Jr. His dad went by Woody and he was Bubba at home, Hank with his softball team and Henry with everyone else. Yes we are from the South. Lots of Bubbas, Buddy, Buds and Jrs. 

The biggest fight I had with my inlaws was when I had my son and they wanted him to be named Henry Woodrow Wilson III and wanted me to call him Trey. My ex hated his name and I was not going to do that to my son. I finally agreed to name him Nathan Henry Wilson and that satisfied them. I wanted to name him after my dad, since he never had a son and wished I had stood up to all of them. My ex remarried and he had another son and they named him Andrew Henry, so now he has to sons with the same middle name.


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

These are awful, and are, unfortunately, given to way too many boys at birth. (They are also among the favorite names for pranksters to have customer service people in Wal-Mart, K-Mart, and other stores call out over the intercom.) *DON'T GO ON IF YOUR SENSIBILITIES ARE RATHER EASILY OFFENDED!*


Spoiler



Mike Cox


 and


Spoiler



Mike Hunt


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

Just read an article on MSNBC in the wierd news about a man hit by a car. His real name was Lord Jesus Christ. How would like to live up to that name? Here is the link to the article.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37015837/ns/us_news-weird_news/


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

That's giving him a lot to live up to!

I have a friend whose uncle is named Senator Andrews. Gotta love that optimism on the part of his parents.


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## Brenda Carroll (May 21, 2009)

Sandy Banypants.


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## dlafavers (May 4, 2010)

My wife and I joke about how drinks at Starbuck's sound like names:

Macchiata Del Paccino
Tyra Latte Washington
Frappuccina Consweilla di Venti

Then there's

Lunesta Lynn
Cialis Marie
Zetia Kelly 
Benedriina Tina

Hmmm

Dandelion, Thistle, Helium, Sprout,  Ravioli. I think I'm done.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

I haven't read this book but the title of the book is the name of the main character: Big Diehl.

L


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## Jeff (Oct 28, 2008)

And then there was Major Major in _Catch 22_ who was promoted to major because of the confusion his name caused.

He then became Major Major Major.


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## Kristus412 (Nov 22, 2008)

Renesme for Twilight. I thought that was a pretty horrible name. 

I was joking with my husband about names, I'm ready for kids but he isn't he calls it my allergy and I jokingly said so does that mean if we have a girl we have to name her Allegra. A name he loves now, I don't.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

On the news this evening were favorite names for kids.  Jacob still #1 for boys.  Isabella now #1 for girls.  Guess why?  

Apparently Cullen greatly increased in popularity too. . . . . .


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## 4Katie (Jun 27, 2009)

Kristus412 said:


> Renesme for Twilight. I thought that was a pretty horrible name.


I don't like it either. When I was reading, every time I hit that name it kinda interrupted the flow of reading for me.


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## webhill (Feb 12, 2009)

dlafavers said:


> Then there's
> 
> Lunesta Lynn
> Cialis Marie
> ...


Ha. If you're going for medical names, there are also some great parasite names. One woman I know named her daughter Taenia, and another one named her daughter Chyletiella. I dunno what's wrong with some people.


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

Back in the days when my daughters were born ('76 and '81), several young womengirls named their babies Chastity. I don't recall any of the 3 spelling the names correctly. Our family physician was an older, very opinionated g.p. who was fuming one day as he entered the room to see me when I was pregnant. He had just delivered one of these 3 babies, and muttered something to the effect of , "What's wrong with these (*(&#)* girls? They name their daughters "Chastity," which they can't spell and have no idea what it means!"

Gotta love small towns.


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## LCEvans (Mar 29, 2009)

One of my friends named her daughter Tenille (this was in the 80's).


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

LCEvans said:


> One of my friends named her daughter Tenille (this was in the 80's).


Glad she didn't have a brother named Captain.  We had a girl here in our town named Tenille (1976).


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## rho (Feb 12, 2009)

Ann in Arlington said:


> My great grandmother was named Ernestine. . . . . .my mother did not feel the need to name me after her, for which I am eternally grateful.


I had an Aunt Ernestine. And another relative named Electra, and another Ianthe ---- I could go on and on thru the history of my families names. But it does help with genealogy at least. And yes Rhoda Ellen is a combination that goes waaaay back.


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## vickir (Jan 14, 2009)

Real life names I know: Bambi Bare and Dryass Jones.


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## Margaret (Jan 1, 2010)

My daughter has a patient named Harlequin Venus.


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## Mandy (Dec 27, 2009)

I would have loved to name one of my daughters after my beloved grandmother, but sadly, Blanchie is not a good name for these times.

There's the celeb who named his daughter Moxie Crimefighter, and someone I know almost named her daughter Celestial Jewel.   Speaking of names, just an interesting fact - my husband loved the name of a girl he knew in school, so we went with that name - Amber Shay (the friend's name was spelled Ambre Shay though). We found out years later that they actually share the same birthday of October 10th, what a coincidence!


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## Reyn (Feb 10, 2009)

I know a girl named Rainy Day.  Day being the last name.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Interesting article in the Washington Post yesterday about baby names:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/14/AR2010051402193.html

(Seems like this happens a lot. . .I wonder if reporters read KindleBoards for story ideas. . . . .  )


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## ashash (Aug 12, 2009)

duckie


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## Blanche (Jan 4, 2010)

My sister's name is "Mercy."  I actually like the name.  What makes it amusingly horrible is that Mercy is so NOT Mercy... if you know what I mean.  We laughingly refer to her as "the pit viper" of compassion  .  Although not to her face... she is good at "gettin' even."


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## LCEvans (Mar 29, 2009)

> We laughingly refer to her as "the pit viper" of compassion


Funny! Don't you love it when someone's name is a total misnomer. For example, "Joy." I've known several Joy's who were really negative people who didn't know how to smile or be happy.


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## Blanche (Jan 4, 2010)

> Renesme for Twilight. I thought that was a pretty horrible name.


I'm with you on that one. Absolutely horrible name!


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

I was talking to our genetic counselor today and he was showing off his newly adopted son who is 3 years old. He and his partner have been wanting to adopt for the last three years and are so happy. The little boy's name is Geronimo and they decided to keep the name. I'm not sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing. Good because he will be less confused, but I hope they find a nickname to keep him from being teased.


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## pendragginp (May 5, 2010)

When I was in college I worked on the eye floor of a Detroit hospital, and one day a patient came in named Tommy Valentine. Fine, right? Except that it was spelled To my Valentine.  

Poor kid was also being treated for drugs. Coincidence?  Hmmmm.


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## Angela (Nov 2, 2008)

Audashalon
Chontay
Ponchitta


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

I was reading an article today and the little boy was named Geronimo but spelled Jeranimo. Is this going to be a new trend name? This is the 2nd time I've heard this name in the last month and both were around 3 or 4. I hope it doesn't catch on.


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## Laurie (Jan 9, 2009)

A girl who used to live near us was named Caress.
Another woman from town named her daugher Cindel (sp?) after a Star Wars character.
My nephew's middle name is Rudolph.


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## JimJ (Mar 3, 2009)

Kristus412 said:


> Renesme for Twilight. I thought that was a pretty horrible name.
> 
> I was joking with my husband about names, I'm ready for kids but he isn't he calls it my allergy and I jokingly said so does that mean if we have a girl we have to name her Allegra. A name he loves now, I don't.


On one episode of The Sopranos, the daughter of a mob boss's name was Allegra and when some of Tony's crew attended her wedding there was a joke about her name. Here's the quote:

Christopher: Allegra, ain't that a cold medicine?
Paulie: Means happiness in Italian.
Christopher: The fucks 's that got to do with cold medicine?


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## Alle Meine Entchen (Dec 6, 2009)

I don't know if this is an urban legend or not (but I really hope so), but I heard a story about a woman naming her daughter


Spoiler



Vigana


 b/c she heard the dr say it and thought it sounded pretty


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## Angela (Nov 2, 2008)

I just saw this one a moment ago...

Kandi Kane


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## SongbirdVB (Nov 18, 2008)

Former coach of the Vikings was called "Bud" Grant.  His real name was Harry Peter Grant.  Nice, huh?  So when he had a son was he nice?  Nope, Harry Peter JUNIOR!


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## planet_janet (Feb 23, 2010)

I was signing my kids into the Kids Club at my gym yesterday when I came upon a horrible name for a child.  The 5-month old baby on the list directly above my kids was named Twilight, poor kid. DH mused aloud that perhaps the baby has siblings named Edward and Bella.


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## 4Katie (Jun 27, 2009)

planet_janet said:


> I was signing my kids into the Kids Club at my gym yesterday when I came upon a horrible name for a child. The 5-month old baby on the list directly above my kids was named Twilight, poor kid. DH mused aloud that perhaps the baby has siblings named Edward and Bella.


And don't forget their brother, Jacob.


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## RiddleMeThis (Sep 15, 2009)

Jenni said:


> From "Boy Meets World", Topanga.


Oh god I LOVE LOVE LOVE the name Topanga!


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

I know a family that wanted to use a Celtic name. They named their daughter, who is now 7 - 
*Caolifhion*.
Pronounced Kee-lynn. I always feel sorry for that poor child. Teachers will have to write themselves a note on how to pronounce her name, since NOTHING in the spelling gives even the slightest clue. i just cant imagine going through life always having to spell and give a pronunciation lesson for your first name....


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## RiddleMeThis (Sep 15, 2009)

Tam said:


> i just cant imagine going through life always having to spell and give a pronunciation lesson for your first name....


My name is Ashley. It was the most popular name in the country the year I was born. I would MUCH rather have to help teachers pronounce and spell my name than sit in the same classroom with 7 other kids called Ashley ever again. If I ever have kids (which is NOT likely) their names will be nowhere near a "Most Popular Names" list.


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## loonlover (Jul 4, 2009)

RiddleMeThis said:


> My name is Ashley. It was the most popular name in the country the year I was born. I would MUCH rather have to help teachers pronounce and spell my name than sit in the same classroom with 7 other kids called Ashley ever again. If I ever have kids (which is NOT likely) their names will be nowhere near a "Most Popular Names" list.


I understand your sentiments, but good luck with not using a "most popular name". When we named our oldest son Jason, we did not know anyone named Jason; it was not on any popular list at all. But, by the end of 1975 it turned out to be the most popular boy's name of the year. He never complained, but I know he had to tire of not being the only Jason in most of his activities.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

We picked Nicholas for our son. . . .He did have another Nick in his class from 8th grade through HS. . . they were buds. . . .

Though they did call him "Nickelodeon" and "Nick and Nite". . . I suppose there are worse nick(Ha!)names.   Oh, and sometimes they'd call him "Nick..... olas" like the "Ricola" call. . . . .


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## mom133d (aka Liz) (Nov 25, 2008)

When we named our son Alec we knew of no other (aside from Sir Alec Guiness and Alec Baldwin). Now my brother-in-law has 2 nephews named Alec, what are the odds? And we have other friends saying they are meeting Alecs.


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## Tip10 (Apr 16, 2009)

I'm reminded of attending the weeding of a dear friend's daughter a few years ago -- she's now in her 30's.

The toast offered up by her bridesmaid was reminiscing about the day they had met back when they were something like 7 or 8 years old.  

The bridesmaid introduced herself to friend's daughter thusly:

"Hi my name's Ricki -- I know, its a boy's name but I spell it with an i"

To which my friend's daughter responded:

"My name's Alix, its a boy's name too but I spell it with an i" 

And therein was born a lifelong friendship.


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