# They Don't Teach This S*** In College . . .



## Elizabeth Ann West (Jul 11, 2011)

I'm exhausted. Aren't you? Some days, and even today, I felt total kick-a** because I reformatted a book and got it up on eight venues, wrote 5,000 words, and I was talking on Facebook chat to a friend's daughter who is writing a story and wants to publish. And I realized . . . they don't TEACH what it is that I do in college. 

Granted, it's been about 10 years for me since I graduated, but I'm now in the beginning stages of college hunting for my 14-year-old and I'm not seeing digital publishing included in the English department's curriculum. And even if it were, I'd almost argue it belongs in Computer Science, not as part of the English department. Or maybe interdisciplinary?

Because to REALLY have a "degree" course in digital publishing you would need about a third of the course be English courses, a third be computer classes, and another third be business/psychology classes. THEN you'd begin to cover the skills and knowledge base needed.

So let's play a game, let's create Digital Publishing Univerity. Name a class, brief synopsis of what it would cover, and what level a student should reasonably take it, sophomore, junior, or senior year. Let's assume that freshman year was for English 101 and 102 and gen eds. So this is just major course material. Though bonus points if you can come up with minor coursework for a particular niche or genre.


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## 77071 (May 15, 2014)

Dealing With Reviews
Early.


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## Elizabeth Ann West (Jul 11, 2011)

HSh said:


> Dealing With Reviews
> Early.


Public Relations When People Hate You, Communications 145

In this course, you will learn the advantages of walking away from social media and bad book reviews. Class will include a simulated viral experience in which the entire university will be messaged an embarrassing fact about you. You will analyze and chronicle your responses for long-term public relations and brand integrity. The final exam will consist of sitting in class, not using a computer, and drinking a beer. Extra credit if you have reached the level of flipping off the professor and walking away.


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## Wifey (Mar 20, 2011)

Elizabeth Ann West said:


> Public Relations When People Hate You, Communications 145
> 
> In this course, you will learn the advantages of walking away from social media and bad book reviews. Class will include a simulated viral experience in which the entire university will be messaged an embarrassing fact about you. You will analyze and chronicle your responses for long-term public relations and brand integrity. The final exam will consist of sitting in class, not using a computer, and drinking a beer. Extra credit if you have reached the level of flipping off the professor and walking away.


That made me laugh.


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## Redacted1111 (Oct 26, 2013)

Haha. I'm a recovering Creative Writing major. I think it actually hampered my ability to be a good digital publisher. If it weren't for the year I attempted to do internet marketing and my obsession with digital photography, I'd have been screwed. 

The fact is Creative Writing and English departments still teach traditional publishing, which is a shame. In many ways, teaching traditional publishing is just setting perfectly capable writers up for failure.


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## G.L. Snodgrass (Aug 12, 2014)

I love this topic.

How about,

- Publishing Market Research. How to tell reality from hype. What works, what doesn't. Identify Growing markets before they become saturated. Learn about the hidden sales that are not counted in typical markets. Learn how to give readers what they want.

- Excel for Authors. Simple course on how to build spreadsheets to track sales, expenses, taxes. Everything you will need to run a business.

- Inter-Author Communications. How to talk to other authors without making them upset.


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## MGalloway (Jun 21, 2011)

Copywriting, graphic design, and media planning.

Those classes do exist, depending on the school, and sometimes they can be found within a journalism or mass communications major. But the teacher for the media planning course I took eons ago refused to incorporate anything internet-related in his curriculum despite several people in class warning him about it (this was in the mid-90's). That was a huge mistake.


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## DC Swain (Feb 24, 2013)

Compulsive Disorders 101
In which students are not allowed to check sales reports for ever increasing periods of time. The longer you last, the better your grade.

I suspect to get an A+ you'd need last about 3 days...


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## 75845 (Jan 1, 1970)

They teach it, but the university got mocked by self-publishers for teaching it:

http://www.uclan.ac.uk/courses/ma_self_publishing.php


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

Shadow Marketing 201

How to market your book without ever mentioning you wrote a book or making any reference to it whatsoever. 

Surviving Friends and Family 301

Learning to smile when three family members and fourteen friends swear they not only bought your book, but loved it. Not gritting your teeth in the face of no sales at all for the month surrounding these claims is essential to completing this course. Nodding understandingly when they all claim to be too shy or too illiterate to write a review is worth extra credit.


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## Chris Lord (Feb 22, 2014)

Holy Blub Grail 101 (HBG 101)

In this course you will agonize over an over, dissecting and analysing 150 to 250 words which you hope will create a prospective reader. The requirements of this class will be writing something that EVERYONE in the class agrees is the 'perfect blurb'. Upon completion of this course you will graduate to Holy Blurb Grail 201 (HGB 201) in which you assume the attitude that you know it all, with the added attitude and snootiness that'd you expect. Failure of this class will of course mean the end of any sales and writing possibilities. This class is required in Digital Publishing University, although it you may place out with 10 sales in one month on your own.

BTW: Fun post!
Chris


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## Elizabeth Ann West (Jul 11, 2011)

Data Recovery 252

In this course you will lose a document. A big one. And through various on hold calls with the service you paid for that promised this would never, ever happen, and learning about temporary files on your computer you never even knew existed, you will recover this document. We will learn to recover documents, back up hard drives, and lab work will include experimenting with the effects of coffee, tea, and soda spilling on various pieces of plugged in hardware and calculating the loss of data. Pre-requisite for electronics around pets.


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## Chris Lord (Feb 22, 2014)

Elizabeth Ann West said:


> Data Recovery 252
> 
> In this course you will lose a document. A big one. And through various on hold calls with the service you paid for that promised this would never, ever happen, and learning about temporary files on your computer you never even knew existed, you will recover this document. We will learn to recover documents, back up hard drives, and lab work will include experimenting with the effects of coffee, tea, and soda spilling on various pieces of plugged in hardware and calculating the loss of data. Pre-requisite for electronics around pets.


I could guest teach this one based upon knowledge... and VAST EXPERIENCE! Especially with Diet Coke in a laptop! Dogs are still barking at the noise that laptop made....


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

Chris Vaughn said:


> I could guest teach this one based upon knowledge... and VAST EXPERIENCE! Especially with Diet Coke in a laptop! Dogs are still barking at the noise that laptop made....


Or the three year old that proudly sprays the keyboard and screen of your laptop, even opening the CD drive to spray that with 409, to clean it for you.


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## kathrynoh (Oct 17, 2012)

I'm pretty sure the kids of today are experts at social media before they ever reach college, even the dealing with harassment and embarrassment.

I started out doing a Visual Arts degree many, many years ago. We had a compulsory business subject covering business plans, pricing, applying for grants, promotion etc. It was most useful subject in the course. 

There was a local uni here running a self publishing as a short course (at over $1K). I checked out the instructor's books on Amazon and they were all ranked in the millions


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## Chris Lord (Feb 22, 2014)

Gertie Kindle 'a/k/a Margaret Lake' said:


> Or the three year old that proudly sprays the keyboard and screen of your laptop, even opening the CD drive to spray that with 409, to clean it for you.


That's a good child there!!! Definitely a book in that one!

Title: 409 in the CD Drawer


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## AkBee (Aug 24, 2012)

Write the Story without Filler 252

In this class you will write original fiction that readers will love because you will not use four pages to describe the carpeting in the manor house. You will develop characters, their world, and insert wonderful plot bunnies along the way instead so readers want more of your work instead of telling other readers how many pages they had to skip to get to the action. Good luck!


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## Ronny K (Aug 2, 2011)

Isn't this just an argument against College?


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## Chris Lord (Feb 22, 2014)

MzPiggy said:


> Write the Story without Filler 252
> 
> In this class you will write original fiction that readers will love because you will not use four pages to describe the carpeting in the manor house. You will develop characters, their world, and insert wonderful plot bunnies along the way instead so readers want more of your work instead of telling other readers how many pages they had to skip to get to the action. Good luck!


Addendum: Ayn Rand's 'Atlas Shrugged' could be our text book... (love the book.... hate the descriptives and speeches... please no flame war here.)


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## Chris Fox (Oct 3, 2014)

Meditation 102- Dealing with Literary writers

In this class you will be subjected to critique by a panel of English major post-grads. Comments may include 'what kind of 38 year old man writes about werewolves' and 'I feel sorry for you'. By the end of this course you will be able to sit calmly in rush hour Los Angeles traffic while humming The Sound of Music.


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## AkBee (Aug 24, 2012)

Chris Vaughn said:


> Addendum: Ayn Rand's 'Atlas Shrugged' could be our text book... (love the book.... hate the descriptives and speeches... please no flame war here.)


Here! here! 
When you hold a conversation and the person just goes on for 30 minutes telling you something they've already told you two days ago, you nod off. You want to get away. Anything to avoid this again. Same thing happens in books. Maybe it is writing style but to me as a reader, I see filler. And I run.


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## J.A. Sutherland (Apr 1, 2014)

MzPiggy said:


> Write the Story without Filler 252
> 
> In this class you will write original fiction that readers will love because you will not use four pages to describe the carpeting in the manor house. You will develop characters, their world, and insert wonderful plot bunnies along the way instead so readers want more of your work instead of telling other readers how many pages they had to skip to get to the action. Good luck!


The 400-level course will be to rewrite Les Miserables as a novella.


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## Chris Lord (Feb 22, 2014)

J.A. Sutherland said:


> The 400-level course will be to rewrite Les Miserables as a novella.


That made me laugh!!!


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## tiffanycherney (Feb 18, 2014)

Social Media Etiquette, Communications 200

This course course expands on known knowledge of social media and Public Relations When People Hate You, Communications 145 to help students further develop and maintain their social media personas. Topics of class include advanced techniques to develop a good social media persona for business, how to avoid spamming when marketing, how much to share on social media, and how to avoid putting your foot in your mouth, especially on those bad days.


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## Chris Lord (Feb 22, 2014)

MzPiggy said:


> Here! here!
> When you hold a conversation and the person just goes on for 30 minutes telling you something they've already told you two days ago, you nod off. You want to get away. Anything to avoid this again. Same thing happens in books. Maybe it is writing style but to me as a reader, I see filler. And I run.


Have you ever read any of Earle Stanley Gardner's Perry Mason novels? They are plot wise quite good! In fact they are a College course in keeping the plot moving.

Every chapter baits you to want to read the next, and I have to say that for a stories that are 60 to 80 years old they are enjoyable... BUT I just read one that was a reprint of a serial from Saturday Evening Post I think, and every chapter had a run down of the story. It kept the story alive at least but after chapter 10.... I was looking for an ice pick... The others I've read aren't that bad but the books that are taken from serials are very redundant.

BTW: I hate filler! Makes me feel like I'm five years old and a Ms. Mary Ann from Romper Room is telling me for the fifth time to sit still (so I wouldn't spill my milk)... which I did! And yes, I was on Romper Room when I was little... it's like a flashback!


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

Anti-Procrastination 401

If you want to get words on the screen, then you have to get at it! In this class, you can dictate your words or type them or make your children type them or what have you, but you must continue to create words on the screen in order to avoid the electrical shocks.


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## Guest (Jan 21, 2015)

Elizabeth Ann West said:


> Data Recovery 252
> 
> In this course you will lose a document. A big one. And through various on hold calls with the service you paid for that promised this would never, ever happen, and learning about temporary files on your computer you never even knew existed, you will recover this document. We will learn to recover documents, back up hard drives, and lab work will include experimenting with the effects of coffee, tea, and soda spilling on various pieces of plugged in hardware and calculating the loss of data. Pre-requisite for electronics around pets.


You don't need to go to college to learn that&#8230; you just need to be a Linux user!


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## Abalone (Jan 31, 2014)

Sorry, but College Hunting, 14 YO?


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## AkBee (Aug 24, 2012)

J.A. Sutherland said:


> The 400-level course will be to rewrite Les Miserables as a novella.


LMAO!


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## MyraScott (Jul 18, 2014)

Butt in Chair Hall 

Come to our state-of-the-art lab with individual study carrels, Alphasmarts and comfortable, non-chafing restraints.  Check- in by 8AM, 5 Days a week. All bags to be checked at the door.  Students will be patted down and scanned for cell phones. 

You don't have a time limit but you can't leave until you've submitted 5000 words.  Chamber pots are available at each carrel and must be cleaned by students before their things will be returned to them.

Once the semester starts, this class can not be dropped.  Failure to show up will result in failure of the class.  Sign up early, seats for this popular course fill quickly.


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## Guest (Jan 21, 2015)

This doesn't count as college, but you can learn a lot about the validity of most writing advice by spending a year at one of those Zen Buddhist monasteries, where you spend every day trying to solve those impossible koans only to never do it. Most writing advice is like that, ultimately.


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## AkBee (Aug 24, 2012)

Chris Vaughn said:


> Have you ever read any of Earle Stanley Gardner's Perry Mason novels? They are plot wise quite good! In fact they are a College course in keeping the plot moving.
> 
> Every chapter baits you to want to read the next, and I have to say that for a stories that are 60 to 80 years old they are enjoyable... BUT I just read one that was a reprint of a serial from Saturday Evening Post I think, and every chapter had a run down of the story. It kept the story alive at least but after chapter 10.... I was looking for an ice pick... The others I've read aren't that bad but the books that are taken from serials are very redundant.
> 
> BTW: I hate filler! Makes me feel like I'm five years old and a Ms. Mary Ann from Romper Room is telling me for the fifth time to sit still (so I wouldn't spill my milk)... which I did! And yes, I was on Romper Room when I was little... it's like a flashback!


I haven't but thanks for the suggestion. 
Filler just aggravates me. Description needs to land the reader in your story world and make them stay up all night in spite of the need to rise early the next day. Turn the page, turn the page!


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## Chris Lord (Feb 22, 2014)

MyraScott said:


> Butt in Chair Hall
> 
> Come to our state-of-the-art lab with individual study carrels, Alphasmarts and comfortable, non-chafing restraints. Check- in by 8AM, 5 Days a week. All bags to be checked at the door. Students will be patted down and scanned for cell phones.
> 
> ...


This will be the class that will make or break graduation.


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## AkBee (Aug 24, 2012)

Cherise Kelley said:


> Anti-Procrastination 401
> 
> If you want to get words on the screen, then you have to get at it! In this class, you can dictate your words or type them or make your children type them or what have you, but you must continue to create words on the screen in order to avoid the electrical shocks.


Make the kids write them! LOL! I think you are on to something here...


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## Elizabeth Ann West (Jul 11, 2011)

I am laughing hysterically. Best thread eva!!!

Yes, you start the college hunt at 14. Why? Because he has started high school and needs to understand you work hard now to play later. He wants to be a video game producer. And right now, all I care about is him having ideas about a professional career, not if that's what he'll end up being. When I was 14 I wanted to be an oceanographic cartographer and go to Scripps. I ended up a Poli Sci major at Christopher Newport University as that's what my family and I could afford. Kiddo get's hubby's Post-911 GI bill, so he can pretty much afford to go anywhere, and I don't want him to waste this opportunity. He certainly CAN, and with a 2.91 mid term GPA his first year so far, it's possible, but it won't be because he didn't have the information available to him about what it takes to go to the school of his choice.


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## ufwriter (Jan 12, 2015)

Hermit 101

Learn how to make your laptop a permanent fixture to your eyeballs. Warn your family and friends they will not see you for several weeks at a time. When you emerge into the outside world, your pale skin will burn from actual sunlight.

Extra credit if you manage to do your dishes during this course.


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## Chris Lord (Feb 22, 2014)

MzPiggy said:


> I haven't but thanks for the suggestion.
> Filler just aggravates me. Description needs to land the reader in your story world and make them stay up all night in spite of the need to rise early the next day. Turn the page, turn the page!


I so agree! I remember my first Tom Clancy novel 25 years ago... very much enjoyed it! The last one I read I was skipping pages like a banshee! i got tired of reading about the inner workings of the Mark 36 torpedo and where it was created, the man who created it, the guy from Boise who tested it, and of course the the page length description of the woman's dress who christened the first submarine to carry the Mark 36 torpedo. UUUGGGGGHHHH!!!!

I feel your pain! Personally I like a shorter tighter story, and longer bloated one.


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## John Ellsworth (Jun 1, 2014)

Honey Would You...107

In which you learn to teach your partner to multitask while you're too busy at the keyboard to procure your own coffee, headache remedy, snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner, snack, bowel movement, handi-wipes, screen cleaner, ashtray, cocktail, spirits, bedtime snack, catnap, and other miscellany that go into a successful write-o-rama.


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## Victoria LK (Jan 31, 2014)

Cherise Kelley said:


> Anti-Procrastination 401
> 
> If you want to get words on the screen, then you have to get at it! In this class, you can dictate your words or type them or make your children type them or what have you, but you must continue to create words on the screen in order to avoid the electrical shocks.


OMG! I would ace this class!! 

Data Recovery- class requirement would be to lock the cats out of the room you are working in!! I swear, mine have gone in when I walk away and changed my words to gibberish and then stretched out to take a nap across the keyboard


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## JV (Nov 12, 2013)

Half Pint said:


> Haha. I'm a recovering Creative Writing major. I think it actually hampered my ability to be a good digital publisher. If it weren't for the year I attempted to do internet marketing and my obsession with digital photography, I'd have been screwed.
> 
> The fact is Creative Writing and English departments still teach traditional publishing, which is a shame. In many ways, teaching traditional publishing is just setting perfectly capable writers up for failure.


College grad and licensed (though not practicing) English teacher here. How are they teaching traditional publishing? Also, how is it setting up writers for failure? I never got this impression during my course work, so I'm truly curious.


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## JV (Nov 12, 2013)

MzPiggy said:


> Here! here!
> *When you hold a conversation and the person just goes on for 30 minutes* telling you something they've already told you two days ago, *you nod off.* You want to get away. Anything to avoid this again. Same thing happens in books. Maybe it is writing style but to me as a reader, I see filler. And I run.


This sounds like a typical conversation with someone attempting to bestow the virtues of Ayn Rand, "She's totally a legit philosopher!"

...i kid...i kid...


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## J.T. Williams (Aug 7, 2014)

*Tactical Writing For Parents of Children 5 And Under*

Prereq: Having one or more children and attempting to write while actively caring for them...

Topics included:

**Advanced Defensive Keyboarding*:How to effectively type while holding a child and/or deflecting both the addition of more letters and keeping the keys from being ripped off.
**Sippy Cup Defense*: How to guard the back of your head from a frustrated toddler seeking a second drink but able to communicate with words *protective helmet required*
**Frustration Management*: A bonus psychological course covering topics from Screaming Induced Migraine Management (SIMM) to complete loss of writing project due to computer destruction and the two stages of grief.


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## SBJones (Jun 13, 2011)

Graphic Design 120:  Learn to recognize what elements make for a good book cover.  From color palettes for your genre to lettering.  Overt subjects for your theme to subtle undertones and how they work.  Includes art history of movie poster design and why your book cover should look like a movie poster over a traditional book cover.  Digital art vs traditional and why size matters, a detailed look at thumbnail sized art.  Understanding why your 6th grader's art project belongs on the fridge and not your book.

Math 210:  Because half self publishers think they know what 70% royalty rates are, and most still don't understand how long ten days really is when uploading a book for presale.  Also covers faux math problems like trying to write off free downloads against your taxes.  No you didn't "lose" $50,000 when you did a free run of 20k units.

HTML and Digital Devices:  Why your ebook doesn't have pages.  Explaining how an e-book is just one long web page.  Demystifying why you don't get to set the font size or type.  Thinking twice about fancy formatting and cute gimmicks.  You're gonna puke when you see your book on a phone instead of your nine inch tablet.

Intro to contract law:  One full semester going over Amazon, Apple and B&N terms of service and learning why some sentences are in all caps and others are not.

Geography 101:  Because time zones are hard.  The secret to why your Bookbub ad didn't go as planned. 

International Sociology:  Decoding why some books sell in foreign markets and others don't.  A compare and contrast of your book with David Hasselhoff.  He's huge in Germany you know and so can you.

English 510:  You made it through all the other english classes, but this is the one that matters.  Blurb writing.  You spend weeks, months even years on your book and thousands on editing services only to blow it on that blurb you spent ten minutes on.

Secrets of Novel writing 101:  Meets MTWThF for two hours.  You do nothing but write.  That's it, that's the only secret.  Just writing; two hours a day, five days a week.  Full class refund if you don't finish the semester with more words written than you had in the past year.

Kboards 101:  How to use the search feature before starting a new topic.


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## Midnight Whimsy (Jun 25, 2013)

Love this thread! 

Though, it is food for thought... across Kboards, we probably have experts on every topic, from blurb writing to covers to formatting to excel to marketing... It would be really cool if an informal series of webinars or some such could be set up to help Kboarders brush up on certain skills with some expert guidance. I suppose not likely to happen, but a neat idea. 

M.W


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## Iain Ryan (Jun 25, 2014)

It won't be long before this kind of writing course is available. The creative writing parts of the university sector are actually a lot more progressive than most people think. I work inside one of these institutions where a basic digital publishing course is offered. It's not great but it could be with some revision. Take that as part of a creative industries degree where you really could take business, marketing and craft electives and this mythical degree could start to become a reality with a few relatively minor curriculum changes. 

Also, Creative Writing has actually gotten really good at what it does. Admittedly it's often married to trad publishing (or versions of) but there are programs out there with 50% success rates in publishing...i.e. half the students get their book published. The whole thing is a real money spinner to the education sector. The moment taht what we talk about here turns up an agreed upon literary success...someone undeniably great at something other than genre fiction, I can totally see these programs going in the direction we're joking about here. 

More in the spirit of the discussion: 'Advanced Photoshop for Authors: Get Someone Else To Do It'


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## 75814 (Mar 12, 2014)

I'm at the tail end of my MA right now and one of the courses I took last summer was about the publishing industry. The instructor was great and very open to learning more about self-publishing, but a lot of the students were still suffering from the "self-publishing is a toilet, traditional publishing is the defender of great literature" delusion that's been drilled into them. I got an email from the instructor after the class was over admiring me for keeping my cool even in the face of the outright slagging some classmates gave self-publishing. 

Here are some classes I'd add:

Scrivener 101 - Why you don't need to pay $150 for Microsoft Word

Remedial Social Media - Why direct messaging new followers with "buy my book" gets you blocked


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## My Dog&#039;s Servant (Jun 2, 2013)

I'm tired already! It was hard enough getting through college the first time 'round.  

However... 

You may skip the last half of Data Recovery 101 if you a buy a Lenovo laptop with drain holes from keyboard and out bottom of computer. (Wish I'd had one of those when I decided a can of Coke might get rid of the accumulated lint between the keys.)

Juggling 101
Basic balancing of job, family, and writing first novel. Sleep and housework optional.

Juggling 201
Students will have published first book and may now add obsessive tracking of sales, insane mood swings between 5 and 1 star reviews, and applied basic spreadsheets management to continued balancing of job, family, and writing next novel. Sleep still optional. Housework may be discarded entirely.

Advanced Juggling 400
Few students will advance to this level. Requires mastery of accounting, graphic design, marketing, media relations, contract employee supervision, and investment management while juggling five series and four pen names, family, and writing next ten books. Will be conducted on a high wire without a net. Survivors eligible to graduate suma cum wow!.


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## JV (Nov 12, 2013)

Perry Constantine said:


> I'm at the tail end of my MA right now and one of the courses I took last summer was about the publishing industry. The instructor was great and very open to learning more about self-publishing, but a lot of the students were still suffering from the "self-publishing is a toilet, traditional publishing is the defender of great literature" delusion that's been drilled into them. I got an email from the instructor after the class was over admiring me for keeping my cool even in the face of the outright slagging some classmates gave self-publishing.
> 
> Here are some classes I'd add:
> 
> ...


I agree, people can be pretty close minded about self publishing. However, before I joined Kboards (I originally joined simply because Hugh Howey gave it a shout out on a Reddit AMA) I also had a very negative view of self publishing. I never had a reason or interest in exploring self publishing. The only self published authors I'd met were in person. They'd find out, usually from someone else, that I wrote for a living and give me their card. I'd go look up their books out of curiosity and they were, almost always, insufferable drivel. That was my impression of self publishing. Then I found out about Hugh and saw some work from a few other writers on here and I realized that there are some really talented people that choose self publishing. It's a matter of exposure, in my experience.


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## DC Swain (Feb 24, 2013)

J.T. Williams said:


> *Tactical Writing For Parents of Children 5 And Under*
> 
> Prereq: Having one or more children and attempting to write while actively caring for them...
> 
> ...


Did the practical session for this today...


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## Sam Kates (Aug 28, 2012)

Thick Skin Cultivation
Learn how to grow an outer shell that will allow honest, constructive criticism to permeate, but that those danged 1- and 2-star reviews will bounce straight off.

How to Answer Impossible Questions
Learn how to reply to 'Where do you get your ideas from?' without coming across as flippant, condescending or downright rude.

Surreptitious Surfing
Learn how to sneak peeks at your book rankings whilst in work and you're not supposed to be on the net and your boss is right there...


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## hardnutt (Nov 19, 2010)

Midnight Whimsy said:


> Love this thread!
> 
> Though, it is food for thought... across Kboards, we probably have experts on every topic, from blurb writing to covers to formatting to excel to marketing... It would be really cool if an informal series of webinars or some such could be set up to help Kboarders brush up on certain skills with some expert guidance. I suppose not likely to happen, but a neat idea.
> 
> M.W


^This. I'd sign up. And pay. And we'd need very strict teachers who'd scatter one-star reviews over our published work if we dared to not turn up.

I'd definitely need the latter - I've saved any number of articles and posts, etc about every aspect of self-publishing, but it's finding the time to devote to their study. With some kind of Teacher-cum-Dominatrix in charge, I might actually learn more than I currently do.


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## 75814 (Mar 12, 2014)

oakwood said:


> Media control - TV & social media (combined max 30 minutes a day) - difficulty level 10


  You're evil. I would fail this class based on that criteria alone.


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## Gertie Kindle (Nov 6, 2008)

We need a new sig badge. Maybe a diploma from KBU.


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## Elizabeth Ann West (Jul 11, 2011)

bpmanuel said:


> In terms of practical advice, you might be looking at the wrong aspects to begin with that formal education and GPA is the only way to go about getting an entry point into business. It is a combination of internships, actual business experience, portfolio, networking connections, practical knowledge, with the education.
> 
> I'll give you an example, there's a young man who created a giant piece of work and other works to use as an entry point into a triple A developer. The article is here: http://www.tomshardware.com/news/skyrim-falskaar-bungie-alexander-velicky-bethesda,25231.html
> 
> ...


I truly appreciate the advice. I promise hubby and I have it all under control.  I've done the hour of code with my kids two years in a row now. He is at least introduced to the subject matter, but he's more in the "I like to PLAY video games" mode than actually tinker or play with what's inside. He's at the age of doldrums in my opinion, just looking to coast through life. I am careful to NEVER discourage him. But him getting C's because he just didn't study or didn't DO the assignment is not tolerated in this house. I've also explained again and agin, I don't care if he finds another way that's NOT college, like other people have done. But if he does, it will not be because he could not get into college, but because he could and he turned them down.

MY kiddo has his own computers, he know 3 operating systems, he's played a little bit with the ideas and concepts of how programs work and what they're made of (after the hour of code last year, he went on to do the more advanced classes that were free). We have a whole shelf of programming books in the office (hubby programs for fun), and when he was in elementary school we dragged him toe Linux User Group meetings.  Somewhere in there geek runs in his blood, but he's at an awkward stage right now.


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## UnicornEmily (Jul 2, 2011)

How to be an Instant Success 404

("file not found" -- because nobody knows how to do it)


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## Lehane (Apr 7, 2014)

Half Pint said:


> Haha. I'm a recovering Creative Writing major. I think it actually hampered my ability to be a good digital publisher. If it weren't for the year I attempted to do internet marketing and my obsession with digital photography, I'd have been screwed.
> 
> The fact is Creative Writing and English departments still teach traditional publishing, which is a shame. In many ways, teaching traditional publishing is just setting perfectly capable writers up for failure.


Still need to go through the rest of the thread, but I was just perusing MFA offerings and was a little alarmed by how most of them were just literary indulgences. There's NOTHING wrong with that if it's what you want, and I know I'd write my butt off in one, but the lack of business involved in them is wacky to me!

I went to school for film and concentrated in screenwriting. We were actively encouraged to make our own stuff, put things out there independently, and learn how to fundraise/create revenue for ourselves. It was a VERY productive environment and while there was of course a degree of "get in the system and work for The Man, he's got the deep pockets you're after," (which, again, no problem -- I'd love to work for a big studio!) the fact was most of us were equipped to create and distribute ourselves, because Youtube and Vimeo are so easy. Hopefully as independent publishing becomes as notable as independent film, the inclination will be for some schools to start infusing business sense and self-supporting practices into their Creative Writing programs.


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

Final Exam

Publish some stuff. If it makes you more than $500 profit, then you pass! No time limit.

Note: 
You may challenge this whole program by skipping to the final exam at any time. 
The KBoards Writers' Cafe is a recommended study guide.


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## John Ellsworth (Jun 1, 2014)

Grad 500

Writing the "My First Year Publishing" Blog Post

Emphasis on discovering and describing the hardships facing you while you wrote and published your work over your first twelve months. Special attention to charting and spreadsheeting sales, returns, and net sales/net profits for regurgitation in your course final paper, entitled "How I Sold X Books My First Year" or, if you are pseudonymous or plain don't give a damn, "How I Made X Dollars My First Year." Extra credit given for those whose blog post is picked up by any national publication or daily newspaper. Extra-extra credit for those recipients of three or more one-star reviews on their most prized work. 

Grad 501

Manipulating Amazon Imprint X to Pick Up Your Series

No syllabus, anecdotal only.


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

Chris Vaughn said:


> Holy Blub Grail 101 (HBG 101)
> 
> In this course you will agonize over an over, dissecting and analysing 150 to 250 words which you hope will create a prospective reader. The requirements of this class will be writing something that EVERYONE in the class agrees is the 'perfect blurb'. Upon completion of this course you will graduate to Holy Blurb Grail 201 (HGB 201) in which you assume the attitude that you know it all, with the added attitude and snootiness that'd you expect. Failure of this class will of course mean the end of any sales and writing possibilities. This class is required in Digital Publishing University, although it you may place out with 10 sales in one month on your own.
> 
> ...


Do you Holy Blub if your Holy Grail blurb is rejected?


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

Someone should put all this useful info into a book


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## Small Town Writer (Jun 11, 2014)

Elizabeth Ann West said:


> I'm exhausted. Aren't you? Some days, and even today, I felt total kick-a** because I reformatted a book and got it up on eight venues, wrote 5,000 words, and I was talking on Facebook chat to a friend's daughter who is writing a story and wants to publish. And I realized . . . they don't TEACH what it is that I do in college.
> 
> Granted, it's been about 10 years for me since I graduated, but I'm now in the beginning stages of college hunting for my 14-year-old and I'm not seeing digital publishing included in the English department's curriculum. And even if it were, I'd almost argue it belongs in Computer Science, not as part of the English department. Or maybe interdisciplinary?
> 
> Because to REALLY have a "degree" course in digital publishing you would need about a third of the course be English courses, a third be computer classes, and another third be business/psychology classes. THEN you'd begin to cover the skills and knowledge base needed.


I actually have my master's degree in publishing. I didn't know it was even a major, but when I was interning at a small book publisher here in Buffalo, my supervisor suggested it to me. There aren't many schools that have the program, but I found quite a few. Actually, a school nearby (and one my brother went to), RIT, has a digital publishing master's program that I declined because it was more technical. There were other schools I looked at in Texas, California, Pennsylvania, and of course New York. I wanted a broader scope of publishing, so I went to Pace in NYC. I had teachers who worked on Fifth Avenue with the major publishing houses. It was absolutely inspiring to be opened up to the secret world of the publishing industry that I didn't even know existed. The whole process of publishing books was a mystery to me.

Sure they were teaching the traditional publishing model, but that's what they worked in. They were representing the traditional publisher's reactions to self-publishing successes like _Fifty Shades of Grey_. If I hadn't have gone through the publishing program I never would have discovered how viable self-publishing is. My teachers who worked at traditional publishers were teaching us how impressive self-publishing is becoming. They're the ones that suggested ways to measure self-published book sales the same way traditional book sales are measured (Amazon is a mystery to them as well). Once my book is finally published this year I know that my peers and former teachers from the program will be happy and curious at the same time. No, they don't know the nuts and bolts of self-publishing, but that has more to do with the fact that there isn't one single path to take. Authors are using all kinds of methods to self-publish, whereas traditional publishers are almost forced to stick to status quo because a large company isn't as flexible as a single author.

A lot of my peers in the program had English degrees already. This was graduate school, so the prerequisites were already completed. I have my bachelor's in communication, so I still had a bit of the English background, although not as much as those who had an English degree. The publishing program mostly focused on the business aspect of the publishing industry: acquisition, foreign rights, the author/editor relationship, marketing, etc. However, I did have classes that focused on writing and editing. How to correctly use punctuation, the differences between style guides, etc. Even though my focus through most of the program was magazines (my thesis was titled "Magazines in the Digital Age") I am still recalling my education at Pace as I go through this self-publishing process for the first time.

Here are some of the classes I took in the program:
- Book Production and Design
- Financial Aspects of Publishing
- General Interest Books: Acquisitions, Subsidiary Rights, Promotion and Distribution, and Contracts
- Editorial Principles and Practices
- Marketing Principles and Practices in Publishing
- E-books: Technology, workflow, and business model
- The Future of Publishing: Transmedia <-- Awesome class, taught by the former president of DC Comics. Let's talk about Batman and Superman!
- Professional Editing: Copyediting and Rewriting

To join in with the forum discussion here, I would propose a self-publishing focus to the publishing programs already in place. Currently students are able to choose a book publishing focus or a magazine publishing focus, with some classes crossing both. If there was a self-publishing focus, classes would look at how to upload books to the various sites, how to look for a credible editor, how to find a cover designer, how to set up a website, how to run a blog, whether you should run a blog, where to advertise and how often, and a class on budgeting so you don't go broke trying to publish your book. These classes would make up the core of the self-publishing focus, but I also think it's a good idea to be knowledgeable of the traditional publishing model, and not just what you hear on blogs and on forums like this.

Hope this long post was able to help anyone!


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## KevinMcLaughlin (Nov 11, 2010)

Try this curriculum on for size:

*Freshman Year (Fall)*
Intro to Business
English 101 - Grammar
Writing Intensive I - Book a Month (6 credits)
Dispelling the Myths of Writing and Publishing

*Freshman Year (Spring)*
Business Planning
English 102 - Basic Story Structure
Writing Intensive II
Computers for Publishing

*Sophomore Year (Fall)*
Accounting for the Small Business (math)
English 201 - Advanced Story Structure
Writing Intensive III
Ebook Conversion and Design

*Sophomore Year (Spring)*
Social Media for Small Business
English 202 - Proofreading
Writing Intensive IV
Print Book Layout and Design

*Junior Year (Fall)*
Internet Marketing
Introduction to Photoshop
Writing Intensive V
History Elective

*Junior Year (Spring)*
Book Cover Design
Writing Intensive VI
Psychology Elective
Surviving as a Freelancer or Business Owner

*Senior Year (Fall)*
Writing Intensive VII (still 6cr)
Portfolio Building I (6cr, publish multiple works)
Elective

*Senior Year (Spring)*
Writing Intensive VIII
Portfolio Building II
Elective


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## Indecisive (Jun 17, 2013)

This thread is hilarious, but as some have pointed out, degrees in publishing do exist: http://www.emerson.edu/academics/departments/writing-literature-publishing/publishing-writing is one of them. I know there are others, too.


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## Cliff Ball (Apr 10, 2010)

Here's a couple:

*History of Self-Publishing*
The course will take you through the years and show famous authors who started off self publishing and how you too can do it.

*Real Creative Writing*
Set up similar to high school Creative Writing. Taught by an author not published by the university press, one who knows actual creative writing. You will critique your classmates' stories, but there will be no snobbery if it's not literary. Also includes entering stories in contests.

*The basics of having a website*
This will teach you how to pick a design for your website and stick with it. Covers Wordpress or other software plugins, how to place images, and how to incorporate your blog. Includes SEO and other ways of getting traffic, even if it's fake.

*Marketing or How to find readers* 
This course will work for some, but not others, depending on genre. You will be shown how to use various websites to market your works. Also included: Secrets of Facebook and Twitter marketing.


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## MGalloway (Jun 21, 2011)

Cliff Ball said:


> *History of Self-Publishing*
> The course will take you through the years and show famous authors who started off self publishing and how you too can do it.


That's a good idea. What would be nice, too, is to maybe even have one or two of them show up to class and give a talk with a Q&A session afterwards. I think it would also be important to show that what most people consider an "overnight success" is not really overnight at all...there may be many years early on in a writer's career where not a whole lot seems to be happening, despite an enormous effort being put into things.


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## m.a. petterson (Sep 11, 2013)

*Stalking the 1-Star Reviewer 101*

Performing reverse searches on the Internet

Find the IP address - find the computer

Why you should always pay cash at the gas pump

Just what is trace evidence?

Methods of raising bail

*Stalking the 1-Star Reviewer 102*

Introduction to prison culture

Choosing your bunkmate

Should you join a gang?

Avoiding booty-bandits

Useful trades for ex-cons


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## Rusty Bigfoot (Jul 6, 2011)

Imagination 101

In this course, you will spend an entire night alone in a tent deep in a primordial forest (you provide your own transportation). The class will begin with other classmates joining you around a campfire, telling scary stories into the wee hours of the night. You will then each go to your own tents in separate campspots.

You will not have access to any type of light or self-defense. You will be then subjected to various strange noises and things like your tent being scooted across the campground by something really big while you cower in fear.

Upon completion, this course will provide you with the necessary imaginative skills to write scenes that have realistic tension and fear.

Privided course materials include a digital hand-held recorder to record your thoughts during the loooooong night. You must sign a liability release.


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

Love this and wish I would have taken it in 2003-2007!

The only things I would change: a bit less intensive writing and a Photoshop class every semester, to include basic design principles.



KevinMcLaughlin said:


> Try this curriculum on for size:
> 
> *Freshman Year (Fall)*
> Intro to Business
> ...


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## 75814 (Mar 12, 2014)

Lehane said:


> Still need to go through the rest of the thread, but I was just perusing MFA offerings and was a little alarmed by how most of them were just literary indulgences. There's NOTHING wrong with that if it's what you want, and I know I'd write my butt off in one, but the lack of business involved in them is wacky to me!


Yup, that's what my creative writing program was like. I ended up easily scoring an A in every class without straining myself because most of the stuff they taught in those classes was stuff I'd already learned from years of reading and writing. Even the class on publishing, where you'd expect some business stuff to be brought out, was still 99% focused on how to write query letters.


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## RubyMadden (Jun 11, 2014)

Chris Vaughn said:


> That made me laugh!!!


Ditto!!


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## EmmaS (Jul 15, 2014)

m p said:


> *Stalking the 1-Star Reviewer 101*
> 
> Performing reverse searches on the Internet
> 
> ...


You made me laugh out loud. Beautiful short story right here.


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## Caddy (Sep 13, 2011)

Learning to Say No & Making People Feel Good About It

In this class you will learn how to say no to friends, relatives, and strangers you just meet who ask if you will "read their book" they've just written. You will also learn how to say no to other authors who ask if you want to do a review exchange.


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