# Dissapointed with Kindleboards :-(



## Guest (Jan 18, 2013)

I make a point of not visiting the Amazon forums because they seem to be very unfriendly.  I don't spend my time on my computer to respond to mean emails, and whilst at a forum, I am there to offer both advice if I feel I might know something that will help (unlikely but occasionally I manage it) or to learn from the advice of others.

When I first came to kindleboards I found that it was a really helpful place, and somewhere that I have learnt a lot from other more established self-pubbed authors.  Then I came here today and saw the recently locked thread after it got a bit out of hand. 

Perhaps we need a reminder for everybody, new, not so knew like me, and the more well established people amongst us that there is no place for being rude on KB.  If you are offered advice bysomebody because you asked for it, take it gracefully and don't respond by attacking their opinion.  If you disagree, perhaps try doing it politely.  The last thing any of us want in a forum like this is for people to either feel nervous to ask questions, or to be afraid to give an honest opinion in return, even if it is not a positive one.  

That's just an opinion though, feel free to diagree


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## MegHarris (Mar 4, 2010)

I'm not sure it's fair to say one is "disappointed with Kindleboards" because a few people got into an argument on a single thread. There are always going to be arguments. It's the overall tone of the place that matters, not the occasional squabble.


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2013)

I don't know how folks who think KB is a mean place survive the rest of the internet.


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2013)

MegHarris said:


> I'm not sure it's fair to say one is "disappointed with Kindleboards" because a few people got into an argument on a single thread.


Probably a fair point, it was a gut reaction. It's not KB itself that was dissapointing, just this thread.



Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> I don't know how folks who think KB is a mean place survive the rest of the internet.


Not sure if you caught the thread, but it didn't seem like a very constructive use of the forum and could put people off, which was probably why it got locked.


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## MegHarris (Mar 4, 2010)

> Not sure if you caught the thread, but it didn't seem like a very constructive use of the forum - that's probably why it got locked.


Which is what the mods do, and why KB is basically a pleasant place to hang out. This doesn't mean everyone here is nice, just that people get smacked down when things get out of hand.


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2013)

MegHarris said:


> Well, *****, I know you must have a hard time with the rest of the internet, because you're so nice *ducks and runs*.


What!? You are now the second person today to call me nice. Who put you all up to this? Was it Krista? Is there a new Queen of Mean competition starting and she is trying to stop me from claiming what is rightfully mine?


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2013)

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> I don't know how folks who think KB is a mean place survive the rest of the internet.


This. Compared to 90% of the rest of online communities KB has the politeness and good manners of a British upper class tea time meeting.


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## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

"Compared to 90% of the rest of online communities KB has the politeness and good manners of a British upper class tea time meeting."

True.

Plus our mods keep the bad kids in check.  

Team Betsy!


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## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> What!? You are now the second person today to call me nice. Who put you all up to this? Was it Krista? Is there a new Queen of Mean competition starting and she is trying to stop me from claiming what is rightfully mine?


But...but...I wanna be the Queen of Mean.

Anyway, I was actually enjoying that thread until it got locked. To each his own, eh?


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2013)

MegHarris said:


> Which is what the mods do, and why KB is basically a pleasant place to hang out. This doesn't mean everyone here is nice, just that people get smacked down when things get out of hand.


The mods do a good job  Ho team Betsy!


SPBreit said:


> This. Compared to 90% of the rest of online communities KB has the politeness and good manners of a British upper class tea time meeting.


Maybe that's why I like it. I am missing my polite Britishness being stuck out in noisy Cyprus!


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## JumpingShip (Jun 3, 2010)

A thread was locked? I missed it, which is probably a good thing. Getting banned from one forum this week is enough.   (even if I did request the banning!)


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

michellem said:


> there is no place for being rude on KB.


Every group of people, no matter how much they like each other, and how nice they are, is going to have an occasional flare up. This is true of friends and family in real life as well as Internet forums. But Michelle is right above. Being rude is NOT the KindleBoards way. Which is why we have the stocks. And why they so seldom get used--I have to keep dusting them.

Thanks to everyone for basically making this one of the best forums on the Internet and making our jobs as moderators pretty easy most of the time. And, everyone, a little less caffeine.



Thanks!

Betsy
KB Moderator


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## BrianKittrell (Jan 8, 2011)

The rules/forum decorum are already in a sticky thread. Short of sending weekly PM reminders, it doesn't get any more obvious than it already is. The problem is people not reading or not understanding the rules.

(Edit to clarify: my statement is made to the broad statement in the OP in paragraph 3, not to any of the contents in the other locked thread. Had I any response to that thread, I would've made it there.)


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## DRMarvello (Dec 3, 2011)

michellem said:


> If you disagree, perhaps try doing it politely. The last thing any of us want in a forum like this is for people to either feel nervous to ask questions, or to be afraid to give an honest opinion in return, even if it is not a positive one.


I think I understand exactly where you are coming from on this. I've had moments where I feel like never coming back to KB or I have to hold my own reactions in check when someone is rude or insulting in their responses to my posts. I keep returning though, because KB is still the best indie writer's forum I've found on the Internet, in spite of the trolls.

They say you have to take the bad with the good. I think the moderators around here do an excellent job of keeping "the bad" under control. But I'm sure it's hard for them to decide where to draw the line sometimes. I'm slowly learning who to avoid, and I'm discovering that its best to just ignore the inevitable rude comments. That's not always easy: the urge to defend yourself against unfair remarks can be hard to suppress.


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2013)

BrianKittrell said:


> The rules/forum decorum are already in a sticky thread. Short of sending weekly PM reminders, it doesn't get any more obvious than it already is. The problem is people not reading or not understanding the rules.


Actually, the problem is people want to instigate.

I'm going to get yelled at for this but I think it needs to be said. In all seriousness, people who complain about rudeness should not go out of their way to stir the pot. Michelle, not only did you feel the need to start a whole thread complaining about rudeness over a single locked thread, you then felt the need to reference that locked thread in another thread from the OP. You are instigating for some reason. There is no legitimate reason for you to drag the locked thread into another thread on a completely unrelated topic. But you made a decision to do so anyway. From where I am sitting, that makes you part of the problem.

If you don't like a specific behavior, ignore it. Don't start new threads about it. Don't bring it up in unrelated threads. All you do is draw attention to the very behavior you claim is so rude and unhelpful.


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## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> Actually, the problem is people want to instigate.
> 
> I'm going to get yelled at for this but I think it needs to be said. In all seriousness, people who complain about rudeness should not go out of their way to stir the pot. Michelle, not only did you feel the need to start a whole thread complaining about rudeness over a single locked thread, you then felt the need to reference that locked thread in another thread from the OP. You are instigating for some reason. There is no legitimate reason for you to drag the locked thread into another thread on a completely unrelated topic. But you made a decision to do so anyway. From where I am sitting, that makes you part of the problem.
> 
> If you don't like a specific behavior, ignore it. Don't start new threads about it. Don't bring it up in unrelated threads. All you do is draw attention to the very behavior you claim is so rude and unhelpful.


People WANT to instigate? Oh, please. Stop with the psychoanalysis. Sometimes you just go over the top. I wish there was an ignore button.


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

It's a collective group of individuals. Creative individuals at that with most (and I know I suffer from this too sometimes) suffering from the Unique Snowflake Syndrome, Of course there are going to be people getting miffed at the slightly insult against their books/marketing practices/plotting. But really...this isn't even close to being like other forums. There's a lot of constructive criticism and wise information being shared on these threads.

As for said locked thread, it got locked for a reason. That means, as Betsy says, go do something else to take your mind off of it. Castle isn't playing right now but there's always Hulu. A little Nathan never killed anyone and after watching him for a few minutes, how can anyone stay angry?


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2013)

vrabinec said:


> People WANT to instigate? Oh, please. Stop with the psychoanalysis. Sometimes you just go over the top. I wish there was an ignore button.


Finally! With all the people calling me nice I was beginning to worry that I was losing my touch.


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## Quiss (Aug 21, 2012)

Well, I think KB is awesome.

I had a super-whiny day earlier this week and was ready to follow my book over the edge of a cliff.
People really pitched in to keep me thinking positively and offered suggestions. 
Also important was that those who probably felt like giving me a quick slap upside the head for being such a derp simply stayed out of it.

For both I am grateful.


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## AnneEton (Nov 30, 2012)

Disappointed has one s. Kidding! See, I was being one of those mean critical people.

I love this place. I don't see mean behavior... at least not often. I lurked for a while at another writing forum, a big prestigious one whose first word begins with an A, and I couldn't believe the arrogance and condescension displayed by the moderators and longtime members toward newbies. So, I think KB is heaven... but that's just me.

And, brown-noser alert: I'd like to thank the moderators for all their hard work, patience, and humor putting up with us. You guys rock!


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## JumpingShip (Jun 3, 2010)

Quiss said:


> Well, I think KB is awesome.
> 
> I had a super-whiny day earlier this week and was ready to follow my book over the edge of a cliff.
> People really pitched in to keep me thinking positively and offered suggestions.
> ...


As a refugee from much meaner forums, I agree. Sure, there are some people who seem a bit rude, but overall, the benefit of this place far outweighs the few negative people. For instance, Draft2Digital--I never would have heard of that without this forum. Or at least not for many weeks or months. There are so many great cover artists who post their premade covers, that I could easily spend a half day browsing their sites. Some people like to clothes shop, I like to cover shop.  I could go on and on, but what always surprises me is how willing authors are to share their information. When they find a site that helps them sell their books some way, they could, understandably, keep it to themselves. Why alert the 'competition', after all? But no, instead people here are so generous in sharing what works and what doesn't.

Anyway...have a nice day.


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2013)

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> Michelle, not only did you feel the need to start a whole thread complaining about rudeness over a single locked thread, you then felt the need to reference that locked thread in another thread from the OP.
> If you don't like a specific behavior, ignore it.


I'd hardly say that it is instigation to leave a comment on a thread that was started by the same person who got a load of abuse in the original thread on the same day, to say well done, that at least she wasn't put off using KB. Good for her, why shouldn't I mention it? It's hardly stiring the pot.

In response to the locked thread, I wrote something that shared a general message that perhaps we could all 'play nice', something that seems to be supported by the mods. You suggested that if I didn't like a specific behaviour I should have ignored it. Why you didn't do the same with my thread if you didn't like what I had to say?[


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

I'm just amazed that there was a locked thread and I had nothing to do with it.


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## lorelei (Feb 25, 2012)

Betsy, could 'snowflake' please be added to the list of bad words that are filtered out? 
(Yes, I'm one of the victims of this cruel, cruel slur)


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## Danielle Kazemi (Apr 2, 2011)

lorelei said:


> Betsy, could 'snowflake' please be added to the list of bad words that are filtered out?
> (Yes, I'm one of the victims of this cruel, cruel slur)


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Let's all move on, folks.  Surely there's something else to do around here...  Lots of other threads, folks.  How're those KDP reports coming?  Any Hugh Howey sightings this morning?


Betsy


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

lorelei said:


> Betsy, could 'snowflake' please be added to the list of bad words that are filtered out?
> (Yes, I'm one of the victims of this cruel, cruel slur)


Um...you mean change it to s***flake?


No.

Betsy


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Not yet, but I'm sure that HH will make a thread or six soon to allow everyone to bask in his glow.


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## 60911 (Jun 13, 2012)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Let's all move on, folks. Surely there's something else to do around here... Lots of other threads, folks. How're those KDP reports coming? Any Hugh Howey sightings this morning?
> 
> 
> Betsy


It's only another couple weeks and Hugh Howey will leave his den. If he doesn't see his shadow, we get six more weeks of awesome sales!*

*Disclaimer: YMMV.


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## cekilgore (Oct 31, 2012)

smreine said:


> I'm just amazed that there was a locked thread and I had nothing to do with it.


You and everyone else on the boards...

*runs*


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## JeanneM (Mar 21, 2011)

cekilgore said:


> You and everyone else on the boards...
> 
> *runs*


You and Sarah made me spit laugh today. Thanks! I needed that.


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2013)

AnneEton said:


> Disappointed has one s. Kidding! See, I was being one of those mean critical people.


 

I even checked before I wrote it!


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## SandraMiller (May 10, 2011)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Um...you mean change it to s***flake?
> 
> 
> No.
> ...


This is a momentous occasion for me! The first time I have spit Diet Coke on my monitor while reading KindleBoards!

Thank you Betsy, you're my new hero.


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## Lisa Grace (Jul 3, 2011)

smreine said:


> I'm just amazed that there was a locked thread and I had nothing to do with it.


I missed it, too.


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

SPBreit said:


> This. Compared to 90% of the rest of online communities KB has the politeness and good manners of a British upper class tea time meeting.


Have you actually seen the vicious infighting at a British upper class tea? 

ETA: Was I at this fight? Did I get in trouble and miss it? You better NOT have had a fight without me.


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## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)

We were calling for you. The Jets had the Sharks on the ropes, but the Sharks made a comeback and were winning. But then the fuzz stepped in.


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## 60911 (Jun 13, 2012)

JRTomlin said:


> Have you actually seen the vicious infighting at a British upper class tea?
> 
> ETA: Was I at this fight? Did I get in trouble and miss it? You better NOT have had a fight without me.


Are there swords? Because that would be worth seeing. "You didst sully my cummerbund with your actions, sir, I demand an apology!" "No apology shall be had forthwith, sir, and I suggest you choose your weapons if you require some form of satisfaction herein!"

I think everyone missed this fight, and that's a shame because there's no drama that can't be made more entertaining by the Jets.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

vrabinec said:


> We were calling for you. The Jets had the Sharks on the ropes, but the Sharks made a comeback and were winning. But then the fuzz stepped in.


I am NOT Officer Krupke. Just sayin'.

Betsy


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

RobertJCrane said:


> Are there swords? Because that would be worth seeing. "You didst sully my cummerbund with your actions, sir, I demand an apology!" "No apology shall be had forthwith, sir, and I suggest you choose your weapons if you require some form of satisfaction herein!"
> 
> I think everyone missed this fight, and that's a shame because there's no drama that can't be made more entertaining by the Jets.


No swords. Just a few obscure British obscenities and some broken furniture. 

Yep, that thread needs Jets.


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2013)

michellem said:


> I'd hardly say that it is instigation to leave a comment on a thread that was started by the same person who got a load of abuse in the original thread on the same day, to say well done, that at least she wasn't put off using KB. Good for her, why shouldn't I mention it? It's hardly stiring the pot.


Of course you don't consider it stirring the pot...because you consider yourself one of the nice people who is pointing out to the rest of us how horrible we are.  But in reality, that thread got heated but _addressed legitimate concerns_. You didn't like the tone of the conversation. Fine. But legitimate points on both sides were discussed. I didn't see any abuse heaped upon the OP personally, but there were legitimate questions about certain behaviors and statements. I'm not going to rehash what was said in that thread, but I will say that the OP was hardly an innocent victim of drive-by abuse.


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## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> I am NOT Officer Krupke. Just sayin'.
> 
> Betsy


Oh, it was you, Krupke. One of the boys took a picture:


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

I'm now obliged to rush off and look at the locked thread


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

First thing I did, Jan.


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

Same here.


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## NRWick (Mar 22, 2011)

vrabinec said:


> Oh, it was you, Krupke. One of the boys took a picture:


HA! Any one else SERIOUSLY want to see this image in Betsy's user icon? It would be amazing!


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

vrabinec said:


> Oh, it was you, Krupke. One of the boys took a picture:


Nice fantasy, cousin V.

Julie, chill.

Everyone else, move on. Nothing to see here. Don't y'all have--what's it called--WRITING to do?

Bunch of s***flakes....


Betsy


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Nice fantasy, cousin V.
> 
> Julie, chill.
> 
> ...


It's too early to write. It's this or watch people get chopped to bits on the Game of Thrones DVD and I chose this.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

NRWick said:


> HA! Any one else SERIOUSLY want to see this image in Betsy's user icon? It would be amazing!


Not going to happen. Cousin vrabinec obviously spends enough time fantasizing as it is.

Betsy


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## 60911 (Jun 13, 2012)

We could distract ourselves by congratulating JR on 10,000 posts, which probably happened about five minutes ago based on current output.  

Now I've got the Jets song stuck in my head. "When you're a Jet..."


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## Lisa Grace (Jul 3, 2011)

JRTomlin said:


> Have you actually seen the vicious infighting at a British upper class tea?


Tea was spilled, on the white linen. Terrible stains. (shudder)


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## SandraMiller (May 10, 2011)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Everyone else, move on. Nothing to see here. Don't y'all have--what's it called--WRITING to do?
> 
> Bunch of s***flakes....


...aaand now the second diet-coke-spit-take...

I really do need to go write. Thanks for the reminder...


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2013)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Nice fantasy, cousin V.
> 
> *****, chill.


But...but...TWO PEOPLE called me nice today! I have a reputation to protect!


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

RobertJCrane said:


> We could distract ourselves by congratulating JR on 10,000 posts, which probably happened about five minutes ago based on current output.
> 
> Now I've got the Jets song stuck in my head. "When you're a Jet..."


I thought that was something to cringe about since it no doubt relates to my skill at procrastination. 

I think that happened yesterday. This is my early morning (on the US West Coast) blathering before I get to work.


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## Jonathan C. Gillespie (Aug 9, 2012)

To echo earlier comments, I actually find this to be the most laid-back of all the boards that I browse. I have a ton of theories as to why this one is (and others are so intense).

Honestly, I love it here.


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## jackz4000 (May 15, 2011)

That was the tamest and most mild thread I've seen locked here.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Folks,

in all seriousness...

our policy here is that locked threads do NOT get revisited in other threads.  Discussion of locked threads that invite revisiting the issues will be removed.  Seriously, let's move on.

Betsy


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

LOL Yeah, but I love your new icon. Does that count for getting the thread locked.


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## CaseyHollingshead (Dec 8, 2012)

I once ordered "whatever" at a cafe once. They said, Sir, you can't just order whatever. Pick something specific.

I said, I don't know what any of these things on the menu mean. Just get me... coffee.

They said some things in Italian, I think. Didn't hear a word of that Mediterranean gibberish.

I said, Put some black stuff in a cup, I'll slip you some money, and that will be the end of it.

They said, Sir, that's not the way this works. And look, now there are people behind you.

What? I turned. There were some people. I turned back. I said, There's always gonna be a line. Can't stop that. I would know, I just came from one.

They said, Sir, just... order or get outta here.

I said, Look. Just get me whatever the last person ordered. 

They said, Alright.

I paid $4 for a small bottle of OJ. I fell asleep in the cafe.


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## Burrito Fart (Apr 22, 2012)

The meanest people are usually the real snowflakes.


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## Natasha Holme (May 26, 2012)

The only online community I've sensed any hostility in is LibraryThing. The moment I joined. I didn't understand it at all and I don't go back. One member, for example, told me off for having a "photo of a plate" as an avatar (I use a pseudonym. I'm protecting my identity). Chilly.


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## Burrito Fart (Apr 22, 2012)

That is silly. Plates are great because you can put food on them and then eat the food. mmmm cake. Maybe she had a bad experience with plates and took it out on you. Lol


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## Pnjw (Apr 24, 2011)

smreine said:


> I'm just amazed that there was a locked thread and I had nothing to do with it.


You're getting really good at using the delete button.


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## Pnjw (Apr 24, 2011)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Bunch of s***flakes....
> 
> Betsy


My day is complete now.


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## sbaum4853 (May 3, 2010)

JRTomlin said:


> LOL Yeah, but I love your new icon. Does that count for getting the thread locked.


The new icon makes me want to start a thread in Not Quite Kindle about how End of Watch was robbed in the movie award season. Seriously, that was a fine, fine film that deserved a best picture nod. I'm not disappointed with Kindleboards, but I am disappointed with the Academy.


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## J.R. Thomson (Mar 30, 2011)

I think it's inevitable that there is a hazing process you might be subjected to on this and any forum on the Internet... there will be occasional bumps along the road, but most of the time it's a good ride.


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## Soothesayer (Oct 19, 2012)

Kindleboards and Amazon boards are like night and day. Amazon boards are rarely moderated, flooded with spam and spammy marketers, and outright liars (affiliates) who will sabotage your reviews if you're in the same genre as them. 

You can't get much better than this place. No it ain't perfect, but no place is.


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## Madeline (Jun 5, 2010)

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> But...but...TWO PEOPLE called me nice today! I have a reputation to protect!


I could turn on my Probation Officer voice and we could make a scene?


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## merryxmas (Jun 21, 2012)

CaseyHollingshead said:


> I once ordered "whatever" at a cafe once. They said, Sir, you can't just order whatever. Pick something specific.
> 
> I said, I don't know what any of these things on the menu mean. Just get me... coffee.
> 
> ...


Cool story, bro


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## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

merryxmas said:


> Cool story, bro


I'm not joking when I say I came here to post exactly this. Brain twins, or something more sinister? _You decide._


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## merryxmas (Jun 21, 2012)

Sinister, definitely. It's always more interesting when things get dicey.


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## CaseyHollingshead (Dec 8, 2012)

When I woke up it was almost evening. There was a man in a butcher's garb sweeping the room. Nobody else was in the cafe, every seat tucked beneath a table.

The man looked at me and then leaned against the wall, jacking one boot and roping his arms around the broomhandle. 

Siesta? he asked.

Que hora es?

Siete. Ocho. He shrugged.

I got up and went for the door. I stood at it, looking out at the street. The scratch of a broom continued on behind me. I stepped out.

My stomach was ill with OJ. I remembered squabbling with the cafe attendees. Couldn't remember what about. The details were not inherent. Coffee was not my thing.

Nobody footing about the streets except a single hotdog vendor. He waved at me from across the road. I set out toward him. When I neared he said, Where is everyone?

I don't know. I just woke up. And then, stupidly, I said, Where is everyone?

He looked at me. He said, Do you want to buy a hotdog? I haven't had a single sale all day. No people. No dollars. Please, sir. Buy one.

Fishing into my pockets, he already began to thank me. I laid down fifty cents. Coming right up, he said.

I sniffed and checked the streets again. Some lights turned on mutely in the distance. I looked back to the man. He handed over a hotdog, but it was nothing but condiments.

This is not what I bought, I said. Why did you give me this?

But it was no longer the vendor. It was the cafe sweeper, sweeping the streets. He brought the broom up, tenting his hands on the end of it. Que?

It was the worst hotdog I've ever eaten.


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## Cheryl Douglas (Dec 7, 2011)

I've frequented lots of forums over the past decade and KB is by far my favorite. I've been lurking and posting here about a year and a half, and I don't think I'd be making a living as a writer if not for the generous people here. Aside from FB, it's the one place I stop every day, no matter how busy I am. Sure, there are a few people who enjoy fanning the flames, but they usually move on when they find out the mods don't put up with B.S.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)




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## 39179 (Mar 16, 2011)

Having haunted this forum since around the spring of 2011, I can honestly say that there are WAY fewer flamer threads than there used to be, and I'm so very glad about that. At one point I even got turned off from coming here, as some of those threads got really ugly and mean-spirited. It's a much more civilized place these days. 

And Casey, I liked your second installment even more than the first.


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## Lisa Grace (Jul 3, 2011)

NatashaHolme said:


> The only online community I've sensed any hostility in is LibraryThing. The moment I joined. I didn't understand it at all and I don't go back. One member, for example, told me off for having a "photo of a plate" as an avatar (I use a pseudonym. I'm protecting my identity). Chilly.


Paper or plastic? Oh no, china! Well, there you go, that was the problem.


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## Cover Magic (Dec 9, 2012)

Yes, Natasha, we have all been PMing each other talking about what a bitch you are for using a plate avatar. I mean, what the #$*#^@$ is wrong with you? At least use a _decorative _plate! Or draw a smiley face on it. Something. Sheesh!



Seriously, when someone is bitching at you over your non-descript avatar, it's time for them to go back on their meds.


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## Mathew Reuther (Jan 14, 2013)

smreine said:


> I'm just amazed that there was a locked thread and I had nothing to do with it.


I just wanted to share that I laughed hard for about fifteen seconds when I read this.


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## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)

Aw, man. The mods removed my ********** ******* dog shaming pic? Now _I'm _ disappointed with KB.

_Yes, we did. _


----------



## CaedemMarquez (Mar 23, 2011)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Um...you mean change it to s***flake?
> 
> 
> No.
> ...


You're such a s***flake. I like it!

I have no idea what this discussion is about but I saw that and thought it would make an awesome curse.


----------



## robin_hart (Dec 21, 2012)

George Berger said:


>


I am haunted by cake.
P.s. does anyone know where these recipes come from?
p.p.s. does anyone know how this cake tastes?


----------



## A.A (Mar 30, 2012)

Cover Magic said:


> Yes, Natasha, we have all been PMing each other talking about what a bitch you are for using a plate avatar. I mean, what the #$*#^@$ is wrong with you? At least use a _decorative _plate! Or draw a smiley face on it. Something. Sheesh!


Shhhh, don't tell her about the intervention we've been planning....


----------



## Guest (Jan 18, 2013)

CaedemMarquez said:


> I have no idea what this discussion is about


At this point, I don't think we do either.

Let them eat cake!


----------



## BrianKittrell (Jan 8, 2011)

robin_hart said:


> I am haunted by cake.
> P.s. does anyone know where these recipes come from?
> p.p.s. does anyone know how this cake tastes?


Probably like cinnamon corn bread from the way it appears.


----------



## merryxmas (Jun 21, 2012)

robin_hart said:


> I am haunted by cake.
> P.s. does anyone know where these recipes come from?
> p.p.s. does anyone know how this cake tastes?


Well, like a one star reviewer who has never read the book they're reviewing, I will go out on a limb and review this cake without ever having eaten it.

It tastes terrible. It's bland and the consistency is of a salty rag. Also, it is so dry I choked on a piece. There seems to be no logical flow and it lacks progression. The character of the cake feels flat. The supposed juicy bits were bitter and it made me sad that such a monstrosity ever came out of my oven. I have killed my copy Wheatless, Eggless, Buttlerless, Milkless, Sugarless, Funless, Worthwhileness Cake and so should you. One star, Mr. Author, may you never bake again.


----------



## CaedemMarquez (Mar 23, 2011)

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> At this point, I don't think we do either.
> 
> Let them eat cake!


Julie, you S***flake. 

See, it works on so many levels.


----------



## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

> Well, like a one star reviewer who has never read the book they're reviewing, I will go out on a limb and review this cake without ever having eaten it.
> 
> It tastes terrible. It's bland and the consistency is of a salty rag. Also, it is so dry I choked on a piece. There seems to be no logical flow and it lacks progression. The character of the cake feels flat. The supposed juicy bits were bitter and it made me sad that such a monstrosity ever came out of my oven. I have killed my copy Wheatless, Eggless, Buttlerless, Milkless, Sugarless, Funless, Worthwhileness Cake and so should you. One star, Mr. Author, may you never bake again.


Obviously you didn't roll it in sugar, dip it in melted butter, and wash it down with milk.

Makes _all _the difference...

And I don't know what this thread is about either. Maybe it's like Seinfeld. A thread about nothing that somehow is entertaining with wacky characters, sage advice, bad recipes, and S***flakes galore!

Maybe?


----------



## dalya (Jul 26, 2011)

I'm disappointed there's so little Grumpy Cat on KB.


----------



## DarkScribe (Aug 30, 2012)

SPBreit said:


> This. Compared to 90% of the rest of online communities KB has the politeness and good manners of a British upper class tea time meeting.


Nah, the upper classes can be full of over the top bitches and bastards. More like Brit Middle class.


----------



## robin_hart (Dec 21, 2012)

merryxmas said:


> Well, like a one star reviewer who has never read the book they're reviewing, I will go out on a limb and review this cake without ever having eaten it.
> 
> It tastes terrible. It's bland and the consistency is of a salty rag. Also, it is so dry I choked on a piece. There seems to be no logical flow and it lacks progression. The character of the cake feels flat. The supposed juicy bits were bitter and it made me sad that such a monstrosity ever came out of my oven. I have killed my copy Wheatless, Eggless, Buttlerless, Milkless, Sugarless, Funless, Worthwhileness Cake and so should you. One star, Mr. Author, may you never bake again.


I should NOT have laughed as hard at that as I did. Poor cake. Who am I kidding? I'm still laughing. And then I saw Dalya's post. Kindleboards rules.


----------



## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

Dalya, I love your treadputer. 

AWESOME!


----------



## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

DarkScribe said:


> Nah, the upper classes can be full of over the top bitches and bastards. More like Brit Middle class.


You're right. The upper classes are all Bullingdon boys and their *****es. The British middle class is quite civil and correct.

But try convincing Americans of that.


----------



## DarkScribe (Aug 30, 2012)

michellem said:


> I make a point of not visiting the Amazon forums because they seem to be very unfriendly. I don't spend my time on my computer to respond to mean emails, and whilst at a forum, I am there to offer both advice if I feel I might know something that will help (unlikely but occasionally I manage it) or to learn from the advice of others.
> 
> When I first came to kindleboards I found that it was a really helpful place, and somewhere that I have learnt a lot from other more established self-pubbed authors. Then I came here today and saw the recently locked thread after it got a bit out of hand.
> 
> ...


let me see if I have this straight. You want a forum where people are not too afraid or too nervous to express an opinion or ask a question. You do realise that most of the "rude" posts you complain of are people doing exactly that - expressing an opinion?

Is your real problem a lack of sugar coating with some contradictory opinions? You want a little bit of sugar to help the medicine go down?

I can understand that. There are things that I don't like about many forums. For instance I abhor "sugar" when it obfuscates true opinion - as is often the case. Nonetheless I have to put up with it - I don't make the rules. Maybe you could also try putting up with people who don't do things your way. You are still getting opinion, and if you only get agreeable opinion you aren't going to experience much that is new.

Writer's Cafe is probably the best of the writing related forums available. There is no forum where occasionally hackles aren't raised.

(I have to go and hide now - Betsy has just outed herself and she is SCARY.)


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

robin_hart said:


> P.s. does anyone know where these recipes come from?


This particular recipe is from _Foods That Will Win the War_, published by The Forecast Publishing Co. in late 1917 or very early 1918.

Things like butter, sugar, and wheat flour were heavily rationed, so there were a lot of wartime cookbooks published to help folks cope. Also, as of mid-1917, for every one of the limited number of pounds of wheat flour you were permitted to buy, you were _required_ to buy a pound of some other flour - rye, corn, et cetera - which not everyone knew what to do with.



> p.p.s. does anyone know how this cake tastes?


My educated guess is that it's dark and dense and sweet, not dissimilar to a plum/Christmas pudding, only baked not steamed.


----------



## NRWick (Mar 22, 2011)

Dalya said:


> I'm disappointed there's so little Grumpy Cat on KB.


BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! Omgggggg my two most favourite memes combined into one epic one!


----------



## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

George Berger said:


> My educated guess is that it's dark and dense and sweet, not dissimilar to a plum/Christmas pudding, only baked not steamed.


I dunno, George. A rye-flour cake ... it's sort of a vile thought, you know? Stuff's bad enough in bread.


----------



## Cheryl M. (Jan 11, 2011)

George Berger said:


>


I'm left wondering if they had a different definition for sugarless and wheatless when this recipe was written.


----------



## MegHarris (Mar 4, 2010)

> A rye-flour cake ... it's sort of a vile thought, you know? Stuff's bad enough in bread.


Yeah, but when your guests complain, you can just tell them that the cake is a rye.


----------



## DarkScribe (Aug 30, 2012)

MegHarris said:


> Yeah, but when your guests complain, you can just tell them that the cake is a rye.


----------



## Nell Gavin (Jul 3, 2010)

George Berger said:


>


I see "whole wheat flour" in that recipe! Fraud, Mr. George Berger! J'accuse!!!


----------



## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

Cheryl M. said:


> I'm left wondering if they had a different definition for sugarless and wheatless when this recipe was written.


I wondered the same.


----------



## Nell Gavin (Jul 3, 2010)

"Fat-less." There's a concept. 

Do you know what I learned on Allrecipes.com? That you can replace oil with applesauce. So I was looking for a carrot cake recipe for my husband's birthday, one year. You know how everyone gives a recipe a five-star review and tells you how they substituted the ingredients to make it PERFECT? I just love that about cooks. (Apply that philosophy to book reviews in your head for a minute.)

Anyway, I didn't have applesauce, but I DID have pumpkin pie filling from my usual Christmas pumpkin cheesecake. Same consistency, right? So I substituted pumpkin pie filling for oil, and created the most incredible carrot cake I'd ever tasted. It is now my recipe. 

My recommendation for Mr. George Berger's recipe is that you substitute the oil with pumpkin pie filling and declare the recipe "oil-less." He skid by on the "sugar," and he's a liar when it comes to "wheat," but he can redeem himself with the oil. Which he calls "fat."  (Ew.)


----------



## Sam Kates (Aug 28, 2012)

Dalya said:


> I'm disappointed there's so little Grumpy Cat on KB.


I firmly believe that if I was being held by her, I'd be Grumpy Cat too, but maybe with an expletive before the Grumpy.


----------



## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

MegHarris said:


> Yeah, but when your guests complain, you can just tell them that the cake is a rye.


LOL!

That was good. Really good.

But while a fine pun is a fine thing, it ain't dessert.


----------



## Kathleen Valentine (Dec 10, 2009)

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> I don't know how folks who think KB is a mean place survive the rest of the internet.


Totally.


----------



## folly (Apr 1, 2012)

Nell Gavin said:


> Anyway, I didn't have applesauce, but I DID have pumpkin pie filling from my usual Christmas pumpkin cheesecake. Same consistency, right? So I substituted pumpkin pie filling for oil, and created the most incredible carrot cake I'd ever tasted. It is now my recipe.


 I tried one of those hide the healthy stuff in regular food for kids cookbooks years ago when the kids were younger. i made a chocolate doughnut recipe with pumpkin and sweet potato into a cake. they loved it. they asked what was in it, so i told them. they didn't care. they even asked for it the other day when we were talking about pumpkins ( we still have 2 after halloween pumpkins on the porch to process.)


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Cheryl M. said:


> I'm left wondering if they had a different definition for sugarless and wheatless when this recipe was written.


More or less, yes. It doesn't include any cane sugar, which was strictly rationed at the time. Corn syrup was the sweetener of choice, because if there's one thing America has rarely had a shortage of, it's corn and corn by-products, and none of our allies in Europe wanted the stuff. (The same was true in WWII. Ever seen a 1950s cookbook where every recipe calls for Karo syrup? Old habits die hard.)

And as to "wheatless", it does say "or", y'know. 



Becca Mills said:


> I dunno, George. A rye-flour cake ... it's sort of a vile thought, you know? Stuff's bad enough in bread.


A rye-flour cake where the flour:corn syrup ratio is 1.5:1, and there's twice as much fruit as there is corn syrup. You probably won't even notice the rye, with all that sugar. 

If you prefer, though, here are a trio of other WWI cakes...










(According to a website I found, those 1918 prices are the equivalent, today, of $10.64/dozen for eggs, $8.97/pound for butter, and what works out to be $8.21/gallon for milk.)

Here, to make it up to you, have some WWI deserts. 










There's gotta be a story behind "airline ice cream"...


----------



## Krista D. Ball (Mar 8, 2011)

smreine said:


> I'm just amazed that there was a locked thread and I had nothing to do with it.


^^ what she said.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

George Berger said:


> There's gotta be a story behind "airline ice cream"...


I _could_ be writing, or reading, but this was kind of bugging me. Sadly, the story isn't very interesting...










Oh well.


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

George Berger said:


> More or less, yes. It doesn't include any cane sugar, which was strictly rationed at the time. Corn syrup was the sweetener of choice, because if there's one thing America has rarely had a shortage of, it's corn and corn by-products, and none of our allies in Europe wanted the stuff. (The same was true in WWII. Ever seen a 1950s cookbook where every recipe calls for Karo syrup? Old habits die hard.)


Not just allies BTW.

The city I come from was part of the American occupation zone directly after WWII. And when the Americans asked the local authorities what they needed most desperately, they said "Korn", which is the German word for "grain", i.e. they needed wheat and rye. However, the Americans sent them a shipload of corn with a C, probably happy that someone wanted it after all. It allegedly left the German authorities very confused, since no one here knew what it was and what to do with it. Eventually they started grinding it up and making bread. It tasted a bit funny, but it was better than going hungry.

Sugar was never all that rare over here BTW, because at least since WWI the majority of sugar sold in Germany is made from sugarbeets, which grow locally, rather than sugar cane which has to be imported. To this day, if you want cane sugar, you have to specifically buy it (and it's more expensive). Otherwise you get beet sugar.


----------



## Fahid (Dec 23, 2012)

I wonder if there was a thread around where one author says to another author that there book sucked and vice versa...


----------



## David Adams (Jan 2, 2012)

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> I don't know how folks who think KB is a mean place survive the rest of the internet.


I maintain that people should spend a month on 4chan just to see Gabriel's Greater Internet Jerkwad* Theory in action.

Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Jerkwad.

That said... 4chan is wonderful. 

*It's not Jerkwad.


----------



## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

George Berger said:


> I _could_ be writing, or reading, but this was kind of bugging me. Sadly, the story isn't very interesting...


George, I have this image of you surrounded by teetering piles of vintage cookbooks ...

Those wartime food prices are amazing, particularly the eggs. Yowza.


----------



## Andrew Ashling (Nov 15, 2010)

David Adams said:


> I maintain that people should spend a month on 4chan just to see Gabriel's Greater Internet Jerkwad* Theory in action.
> 
> Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Jerkwad.
> 
> ...


I've always wondered what is worse/better: the unvarnished honesty of people on a rampage on 4chan or the thin layer of civilized behavior that not being anonymous induces?


----------



## Ven West (Jan 19, 2013)

Andrew Ashling said:


> I've always wondered what is worse/better: the unvarnished honesty of people on a rampage on 4chan or the thin layer of civilized behavior that not being anonymous induces?


Honesty has its place, and most productively and harmlessly, that place is in art.

There's a reason humanity established standards of civility. I think it's more about picking your fights than anything else. Most "honesty" of the sort you mean is just a fight not worth picking.


----------



## Andrew Ashling (Nov 15, 2010)

Ven West said:


> Honesty has its place, and most productively and harmlessly, that place is in art.
> 
> There's a reason humanity established standards of civility. I think it's more about picking your fights than anything else. Most "honesty" of the sort you mean is just a fight not worth picking.


And still I wonder&#8230; It's also why I am for free speech. If there are crazy people around, I want to know who they are. And, more importantly, how many of them there are.


----------



## Ven West (Jan 19, 2013)

Andrew Ashling said:


> And still I wonder&#8230; It's also why I am for free speech. If there are crazy people around, I want to know who they are. And, more importantly, how many of them there are.


All of them.

All of them are the crazy people.


----------



## TexasGirl (Dec 21, 2011)

Most. Rambling. Thread. Ever.

Someone sticky this puppy!


----------



## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

> And when the Americans asked the local authorities what they needed most desperately, they said "Korn", which is the German word for "grain",


Hmm... Korn, you say? I wonder if this is where the hard rock back Korn got their name? We're from the same hometown and I've always wondered about that. I thought maybe they were bad spellers. (Also the 'K' is backward.) But now this makes more sense. (Just kidding, Korn, you know everyone back home loves you!  )

Oh, and just to be clear they were really nice guys way back when.

Fun fact: My dad and brother are in their music video 'Oildale'. (They're riding the motorcycles. Don't blink or you'll miss them.  ) 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2dfFPIhM



> Most. Rambling. Thread. Ever.
> 
> Someone sticky this puppy!


And I agree. But it's fun.


----------



## Andrew Ashling (Nov 15, 2010)

Ven West said:


> All of them.
> 
> All of them are the crazy people.


You're just being polite.


----------



## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)

Andrew Ashling said:


> You're just being polite.


When you're crazy, being polite is just the setup for the haymaker.


----------



## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

TexasGirl said:


> Most. Rambling. Thread. Ever.
> 
> Someone sticky this puppy!


    

I am visualizing Betsy beating her head on her keyboard and agreeing with Ven:



Ven West said:


> All of them.
> 
> All of them are the crazy people.


----------



## Satchya (Sep 5, 2012)

TexasGirl said:


> Most. Rambling. Thread. Ever.
> 
> Someone sticky this puppy!


Oh wait...if we're going to sticky it, I just want to make a quick, token appearance for posterity.

That is all.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Becca Mills said:


> George, I have this image of you surrounded by teetering piles of vintage cookbooks ...


You've got the teetering piles of books part, but I only have, oh, twenty, maybe twenty-five actual print cookbooks laying around. Gajillions of old ones as e-books, though, from Project Gutenberg and the Library of Congress and Google Books. I have a dedicated e-ink e-reader (a $29 Pandigital one) that has nothing but old cookbooks on it. It's nice because I can just leave a recipe up on the screen, and the battery won't die and the screen won't ever blank out. Yay, technology.

I started learning to cook when I was about eight years old. I was unattractive and unpopular, and convinced even at that early age that I'd be stuck single forever, so I learned from my mom and took every home ec class I could all through junior high and high school. (Most of which were, holy hell, fantastically useless.) We lived in a tiny little farm town around then, and there weren't really any fast-food restaurants or anything like that, and this was long enough ago that I'm not sure microwave dinners were even around yet, and I was a little terrified of spending my life on a steady diet of PB&J sandwiches and canned soup.

When we bought a house a few years ago, my partner told the realtor all these necessities about being in a good neighborhood, being close to a bus route, et cetera, et cetera. My one criteria was "it's gotta have a gas stove". 

We have a house rule that I have to make something new that we've never had before at least once a week, so I spend a lot of time perusing recipes, looking for stuff to cook. The nice thing about old cookbooks is they rarely if ever include ingredients that are difficult to find, odd cuts of meat notwithstanding. And even then, there are a couple of butchers around here that are usually up for a challenge, if I ask nicely...


----------



## unkownwriter (Jun 22, 2011)

Satchya said:


> Oh wait...if we're going to sticky it, I just want to make a quick, token appearance for posterity.
> 
> That is all.


ME TOO!!!1!!1

George, I find it hard to believe that you were ever unattractive. Why, your avatar is positively swoon-worthy!


----------



## CoraBuhlert (Aug 7, 2011)

T.K. Richardson said:


> Hmm... Korn, you say? I wonder if this is where the hard rock back Korn got their name? We're from the same hometown and I've always wondered about that. I thought maybe they were bad spellers. (Also the 'K' is backward.) But now this makes more sense. (Just kidding, Korn, you know everyone back home loves you!  )


It's certainly possible. Coincidentally, "Korn" is also the term for a type of clear liquor made from - guess what - grain, that is very popular in North Germany. And Korn, the band, strike me as the sort of people who would like Korn, the liquor.

The next village over from where I live, there is a Korn factory that has been operating since the 17th century and has been family owned for nine generations now.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

I was looking for this one yesterday, and finally found it.

If you think a rye cake is unpleasant, well, try not to visualize what this will look like:










_from 'Conservation Recipes', The Mobilized Woman's Organization of Berkley, early 1918_

And, on the subject of peanuts, have a meat-free... steak:










_from "Mrs. Allen's Book of Meat Substitutes", Ida Cogswell Bailey Allen, ca. 1917_


----------



## Gennita Low (Dec 13, 2012)

TexasGirl said:


> Most. Rambling. Thread. Ever.
> 
> Someone sticky this puppy!


Snowflakes _are_ sticky!


----------



## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

George Berger said:


> I was looking for this one yesterday, and finally found it.
> 
> If you think a rye cake is unpleasant, well, try not to visualize what this will look like:
> 
> ...


Unfortunately, that reminds me a bit of some of the stuff that is prepared for those of us who can't eat gluten.


----------



## L.J.Breedlove (Jan 17, 2013)

Ok,  so I had to go read the locked thread. I must say, as another newbie to the boards, that is one of the most genteel spats I've seen.  I'm vastly reassured....   I can see why it was locked -- everything that could be said, had been. But it was not nasty or mean.


----------



## nikkarina (Jan 15, 2013)

This is STILL going? *Sits back and watches* I must be back in highschool


----------



## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

> It's certainly possible. Coincidentally, "Korn" is also the term for a type of clear liquor made from - guess what - grain, that is very popular in North Germany. And Korn, the band, strike me as the sort of people who would like Korn, the liquor.
> 
> The next village over from where I live, there is a Korn factory that has been operating since the 17th century and has been family owned for nine generations now.


That makes even _more _sense... It would be interesting to know for sure, though. Maybe I'll ask...


----------



## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

nikkarina said:


> This is STILL going? *Sits back and watches* I must be back in highschool


We gave to do SOMETHING to entertain ourselves while we procrastinate writing.


----------



## nikkarina (Jan 15, 2013)

JRTomlin said:


> We gave to do SOMETHING to entertain ourselves while we procrastinate writing.


 Glad my post could be of entertainment. Actually I'm flattered, it's like the never ending post. May it live on forever in kindle board history. Ahaha.


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

nikkarina said:


> Glad my post could be of entertainment. Actually I'm flattered, it's like the never ending post. May it live on forever in kindle board history. Ahaha.


Out of curiosity, what's your relationship with michellem? I notice that she misspelled "disappointed" in the same way that you do on your Goodreads profile. Probably coincidence, but I'm assuming her righteous indignation on your behalf means that you do know one another.

Also, if you actually read the thread, you'll notice that 95% of it has nothing to do with the locked post in question. Betsy would have shut us down a lot faster if we hadn't gone off on a zillion tangents.


----------



## dalya (Jul 26, 2011)

Ah, I was looking for a more appropriate cartoon, but found this one instead. Sharing anyway.


----------



## nikkarina (Jan 15, 2013)

smreine said:


> Out of curiosity, what's your relationship with michellem? I notice that she misspelled "disappointed" in the same way that you do on your Goodreads profile. Probably coincidence, but I'm assuming her righteous indignation on your behalf means that you do know one another.
> 
> Also, if you actually read the thread, you'll notice that 95% of it has nothing to do with the locked post in question. Betsy would have shut us down a lot faster if we hadn't gone off on a zillion tangents.


 I did read the thread! Thank you. Most of it is about recipes. I read every single post no worries. Also, someone has said something on good reads? Awesome, where? I don't know a michelm


----------



## nikkarina (Jan 15, 2013)

smreine said:


> Out of curiosity, what's your relationship with michellem? I notice that she misspelled "disappointed" in the same way that you do on your Goodreads profile. Probably coincidence, but I'm assuming her righteous indignation on your behalf means that you do know one another.
> 
> Also, if you actually read the thread, you'll notice that 95% of it has nothing to do with the locked post in question. Betsy would have shut us down a lot faster if we hadn't gone off on a zillion tangents.


 where is michellem exactly? I don't see anything on my good reads unless I'm looking in the wrong place. I don't even know how to work good reads yet, I just posted my book up. And well everyone has one so I figured I'd create one too. Maybe you can explain in greater detail what you mean by michellem?


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Michellem is the original poster, who made this topic with the "dissapointed" subject line. I thought it was an interesting coincidence she used the same distinctive misspelling that you did in your Goodreads bio ("you will not be dissapointed").


----------



## nikkarina (Jan 15, 2013)

smreine said:


> Michellem is the original poster, who made this topic with the "dissapointed" subject line. I thought it was an interesting coincidence she used the same distinctive misspelling that you did in your Goodreads bio ("you will not be dissapointed").


 oh I see what you're saying now. Hmm I guess it is pure coincidence , for me it's a hard word to spell. I do not personally know her or him though. But uh thanks for investigating me I guess? You guys are just waiting for me to slip up, so you can dive in and attack. Unfortunately, I am an honest person, with integrity, I don't fake anything or do anything sneaky and manipulative. I don't know what gave anyone that impression, I'm sorry.


----------



## nikkarina (Jan 15, 2013)

genevieveaclark said:


> The kind of thing you're referring to actually happens quite frequently.


 oh I know people make fake reviews and all that, so I've heard. I think it's pretty sad when someone does that though, it just wouldn't sit right with me if I did that. I think karma would surely get me! Even if I get bad reviews, oh well. Not everyone will love my book it's okay


----------



## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

genevieveaclark said:


> The kind of thing you're referring to-people lying or using multiple accounts or sock puppets or other sketchiness-actually happens quite frequently.
> 
> *edited for clarity*


Michellem is not a poster I've ever noticed but since she has a couple of hundred posts, a sock puppet seems unlikely. Typos happen, even similar ones.


----------



## nikkarina (Jan 15, 2013)

Maybe I got 5 star reviews because people like my book? NOOO THAT IS INSANITY! it's like everyone would be happier if I had 1 star reviews . Then they'd be like "Phew 1 star, I'm sure that girl didn't write that herself!"


----------



## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

nikkarina said:


> Maybe I got 5 star reviews because people like my book? NOOO THAT IS INSANITY! it's like everyone would be happier if I had 1 star reviews . Then they'd be like "Phew 1 star, I'm sure that girl didn't write that herself!"


If you're not defensive, you will get along better here. 

Up to you. I'm just sayin'. You haven't been around long enough to know you or what you're like.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Sigh....really?

The world would be a better place if more people sat on their hands....(though I'm not quite sure about that image....)

Misspellings happen.  Let's move on...

Betsy


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

JRTomlin said:


> Michellem is not a poster I've ever noticed but since she has a couple of hundred posts, a sock puppet seems unlikely. Typos happen, even similar ones.


You're right. Probably shouldn't have even mentioned the typo thing. I don't see any indication that they're the same person, and it distracted from my question (which was how nikkarina knows OP--apparently, not at all).

On that note...



nikkarina said:


> Maybe I got 5 star reviews because people like my book? NOOO THAT IS INSANITY! it's like everyone would be happier if I had 1 star reviews . Then they'd be like "Phew 1 star, I'm sure that girl didn't write that herself!"


Who mentioned reviews?


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Sigh....really?
> 
> The world would be a better place if more people sat on their hands....(though I'm not quite sure about that image....)
> 
> ...


Just think of all the fun stuff I delete right after I post. 

Hey, shouldn't you be asleep?


----------



## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Sigh....really?
> 
> The world would be a better place if more people sat on their hands {snip}
> 
> Betsy


*snort* Betsy, watch it or I'm calling the mods.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

C'mon, smr--

Are you feeling left out because you weren't involved in the last locked thread?

Betsy


----------



## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

JRTomlin said:


> *snort* Betsy, watch it or I'm calling the mods.


 



smreine said:


> Just think of all the fun stuff I delete right after I post.


 



> Hey, shouldn't you be asleep?


I never sleep.


----------



## nikkarina (Jan 15, 2013)

JRTomlin said:


> If you're not defensive, you will get along better here.
> 
> Up to you. I'm just sayin'. You haven't been around long enough to know you or what you're like.


 Yes, yes I am defensive. I think I just feel unnecessarily attacked too many times by different people. I feel like I'm under investigation. But I'm harmless I swear! Lol. I just wanted to get along with everyone don't know what happened :O


----------



## nikkarina (Jan 15, 2013)

smreine said:


> You're right. Probably shouldn't have even mentioned the typo thing. I don't see any indication that they're the same person, and it distracted from my question (which was how nikkarina knows OP--apparently, not at all).
> 
> On that note...
> 
> Who mentioned reviews?


 I was talking about the locked thread , I figured you had read it? My bad.


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> C'mon, smr--
> 
> Are you feeling left out because you weren't involved in the last locked thread?


Maybe a little bit...


----------



## Monique (Jul 31, 2010)

Who's been a ?

Me.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Geeze louise, all we need now is for Julie to show up....



Betsy


----------



## Christopher Bunn (Oct 26, 2010)

Never mind about Julie. When are we going to have a serious discussion about bacon?


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

So what time zone are you in, Betsy? Not that I'm wondering when you'd be asleep or anything.



Christopher Bunn said:


> Never mind about Julie. When are we going to have a serious discussion about bacon?


I ate four pieces today. Big ones.


----------



## nikkarina (Jan 15, 2013)

Christopher Bunn said:


> Never mind about Julie. When are we going to have a serious discussion about bacon?


 I'd much rather talk about bacon


----------



## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

smreine said:


> So what time zone are you in, Betsy? Not that I'm wondering when you'd be asleep or anything.
> 
> I ate four pieces today. Big ones.


Time zones! Hah! Meaningless...

Anyone ever had bacon ice cream?

Betsy


----------



## nikkarina (Jan 15, 2013)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Time zones! Hah! Meaningless...
> 
> Anyone ever had bacon ice cream?
> 
> Betsy


 Apparently they had that at burger king, now don't get me wrong , I love bacon -- but I could never try it with ice cream!


----------



## Christopher Bunn (Oct 26, 2010)

smreine said:


> I ate four pieces today. Big ones.





nikkarina said:


> I'd much rather talk about bacon


I award you both L'Ordre Royal du Lard Etonnant. Wear it proudly.

Ah, bacon ice cream. It honestly sounds really tasty. Bacon is a salt-sweet combination, so it would lend itself well to a dairy base. Not much different than a hot slice with cheese.


----------



## Rachel Schurig (Apr 9, 2011)

My best friend got me bacon soda for Christmas. It was quite possibly the worst thing I've ever tasted.

Never thought I'd say that about *anything* bacon related...


----------



## nikkarina (Jan 15, 2013)

Christopher Bunn said:


> I award you both L'Ordre Royal du Lard Etonnant. Wear it proudly.
> 
> Ah, bacon ice cream. It honestly sounds really tasty. Bacon is a salt-sweet combination, so it would lend itself well to a dairy base. Not much different than a hot slice with cheese.


 I think the problem with this particular Sunday is that they drizzled caramel on it too. Plus, the bacon didn't look to good. I'd eat garlic ice cream...or a garlic/bacon gourmet type ice cream


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

nikkarina said:


> I'd much rather talk about bacon












_German Cookery for English Kitchens, Ella Oswald, 1906_

I've made this, and much prefer it to some of the more modern rouladen recipes I've tried. I like to add red wine, chopped mushrooms, and a little diced onion to the liquid, and then make a gravy out of what's left after a couple hours of slow cooking. Goes great with mashed potatoes. Or spaetzle, for that matter.

Really, though, the combination of beef + bacon + wine makes for a truly delicious gravy.


----------



## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

The real question is: Where is Krista?  


ETA: I had a delicious bacon and tomato sandwich today -- without the bread.  

Quite tasty.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Per Twitter, Krista has spent the day drinking suspicious-looking cocktails and writing smut.

_--George, Canadians sure know how to celebrate the return of hockey, don't they?_


----------



## elalond (May 11, 2011)

Just for you: Bacon bonbons - http://www.coolstuff.de/Bacon-Bonbons, when you crave for the crispy taste of bacon, but you can't have it.


----------



## 60911 (Jun 13, 2012)

I'm gonna guess Officer Krupke is sleeping now. But it's all right, I'll be a good citizen (for now) and not a special little s***flake. 

My wife's aunt had Carmelized bacon at her Christmas party this year. It was maybe the best thing I've ever eaten (and I ate a lot of it, hence the weight loss thread).


----------



## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

I'll let Officer Krupke know, Robert when he comes on duty. 

Betsy


----------



## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

George Berger said:


> _German Cookery for English Kitchens, Ella Oswald, 1906_
> 
> I've made this, and much prefer it to some of the more modern rouladen recipes I've tried. I like to add red wine, chopped mushrooms, and a little diced onion to the liquid, and then make a gravy out of what's left after a couple hours of slow cooking. Goes great with mashed potatoes. Or spaetzle, for that matter.
> 
> Really, though, the combination of beef + bacon + wine makes for a truly delicious gravy.


What cut of beef do you use, George? This one does sound good.

In my husband's town, there's this restaurant that serves miniburgers made from 50% ground chuck and 50% ground bacon. Best thing evah. Cows and pigs play well together. On the plate, at least.


----------



## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Sigh....really?
> 
> The world would be a better place if more people sat on their hands....(though I'm not quite sure about that image....)
> 
> ...


This is the Micheal Myers thread. Every time you kill it, it sits up in the background to haunt us again.


----------



## Andrew Ashling (Nov 15, 2010)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Sigh....really?
> 
> The world would be a better place if more people shat on their hands....(though I'm not quite sure about that image....)
> 
> ...


Betsy! Really!


----------



## Cheryl M. (Jan 11, 2011)

Andrew Ashling said:


> Betsy! Really!


So it *wasn't* a funny misread on my part that led me back to this thread!


----------



## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)




----------



## Nathalie Hamidi (Jul 9, 2011)

jnfr said:


>


I had a heart attack just looking at this.


----------



## JumpingShip (Jun 3, 2010)

jnfr said:


>


Bacon porn is not allowed!


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Becca Mills said:


> What cut of beef do you use, George? This one does sound good.


I usually use flank steaks, the thin cut ones sold for making fajitas, because they're cheap and I'm lazy and you slow cook the whole thing for a couple hours anyway. That said, I've also made it with a sirloin roast, sliced into, well, slices, which was pretty much to die for. 

Essentially, I suspect you can use anything that's boneless, thin, and vaguely half the size of a sheet of paper (~5.5x8.5in, ~14x21cm). Sliced thin, seared, and then simmered in a covered pan for two hours, even something like brisket is going to be pretty tender when you're done.


----------



## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

George Berger said:


> Per Twitter, Krista has spent the day drinking suspicious-looking cocktails and writing smut.
> 
> _--George, Canadians sure know how to celebrate the return of hockey, don't they?_


Maybe later I should go play on Twitter -- other than playing with my nationalist friends. 

If Krista has cocktails that is. I mean bacon is all very well, but cocktails...


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

jnfr said:


>


Too crispy! Give it to me juicy and barely cooked.


----------



## cekilgore (Oct 31, 2012)

smreine said:


> Too crispy! Give it to me juicy and barely cooked.


Why does this not surprise me?


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

cekilgore said:


> Why does this not surprise me?


Sometimes I think about jumping on a piggy as it wanders innocently through its pen and chowing down. Nom nom pig nom. But then I remember all the mud, the effluence, the having to go outside in the sunlight, and I decide it's a lot easier to just have my husband grab the bacon at the store.


----------



## Maggie Dana (Oct 26, 2011)

jnfr said:


>


Yum! Bacon sandwiches. Brit comfort food, along with Marmite and baked beans on toast ... oh, and Bird's custard with golden syrup.

Howzatt for a heart attack or two?


----------



## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

smreine said:


> Sometimes I think about jumping on a piggy as it wanders innocently through its pen and chowing down. Nom nom pig nom. But then I remember all the mud, the effluence, the having to go outside in the sunlight, and I decide it's a lot easier to just have my husband grab the bacon at the store.


Sounds reasonable to me. I'm all for having someone bring me my bacon and not have to go outside in that light stuff up in the sky. *shudder*

And now time for some porridge with a side of bacon. Nom Nom Nom


----------



## Andrew Ashling (Nov 15, 2010)

Even more lethal:


----------



## Pnjw (Apr 24, 2011)




----------



## Andrew Ashling (Nov 15, 2010)

I'll see your Diet Coke with Bacon, and raise you three Teenage Mutant Ninja Bacon Turtles:


----------



## Pnjw (Apr 24, 2011)

I see your bacon turtles and raise you one masterful piece of Keven Bacon bacon art.


----------



## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)




----------



## Andrew Ashling (Nov 15, 2010)

Eat my piano!


----------



## Burrito Fart (Apr 22, 2012)

Great. Now I have to go buy a tomato and some miracle whip so I can make a BLT.


----------



## Victoria J (Jul 5, 2011)

Suddenly I feel like making a trip to the butcher today!


----------



## regan kline (Jan 20, 2013)

Andrew Ashling said:


> I'll see your Diet Coke with Bacon, and raise you three Teenage Mutant Ninja Bacon Turtles:


For my first post on Kindleboards (which apparently is required to create a profile) I would like to say that those bacon turtles are amazing!


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

regan kline said:


> For my first post on Kindleboards (which apparently is required to create a profile) I would like to say that those bacon turtles are amazing!


Welcome to the board! You chose a good place to join in.


----------



## Andrew Ashling (Nov 15, 2010)

regan kline said:


> For my first post on Kindleboards (which apparently is required to create a profile) I would like to say that those bacon turtles are amazing!


I hope this thread _"Disappointed with Kindleboards :-("_ doesn't disappoint.

This is a serious board (except for her without the pants).

Welcome.


----------



## 60911 (Jun 13, 2012)

Deanna Chase said:


> I see your bacon turtles and raise you one masterful piece of Keven Bacon bacon art.


The awesome thing about this is that it's only six degrees away from any bacon celebrity. Including Kristen Bell. [Insert bawdy joke here.]


----------



## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

regan kline said:


> For my first post on Kindleboards (which apparently is required to create a profile) I would like to say that those bacon turtles are amazing!


I think it's safe to say that this thread is an excellent place to start when assessing the Writers' Café if not all of KindleBoards.

Welcome, regan!

Betsy


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Deanna Chase said:


> I see your bacon turtles and raise you one masterful piece of Keven Bacon bacon art.


Bacon recursion!


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> I think it's safe to say that this thread is an excellent place to start when assessing the Writers' Café if not all of KindleBoards.


"Here There be Weirdos - And Bacon"?


----------



## Nathalie Hamidi (Jul 9, 2011)

Looking at all that grease makes me want to puke!  
It's a good thing, that means my body is ready for salads!! kr kr kr


----------



## Christopher Bunn (Oct 26, 2010)

Feast your eyes on this and tremble with joy! And then get back to writing your magnum opus. Oh, in case you're wondering as the pangs of hunger are ravaging your quivering body, it's a French Toast & Bacon Cupcake.


----------



## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

Christopher Bunn said:


> Feast your eyes on this and tremble with joy! And then get back to writing your magnum opus. Oh, in case you're wondering as the pangs of hunger are ravaging your quivering body, it's a French Toast & Bacon Cupcake.


Oh. My. God.


----------



## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Tastes like chicken....










Betsy


----------



## EC Sheedy (Feb 24, 2011)

Bacon. Who knew that it could be such a unifying force for all that is good and holy? 

(Wondering what it is that plumps up those bacon turtles, but not sure I really need to know...)


----------



## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

In December I went back east for a graduation. After it was over we all met for lunch at one of the local restaurants. One of the girls there was a graduate from The Cordon Bleu. Taking the opportunity to get to know her better I asked, "So what's your favorite thing to cook?" (Cause who doesn't love to talk about food?) Through the clamor of the other patrons and the rest of the conversation at our table I heard her say, "Oh, I love bacon." To which I replied, "Oh, I love bacon, too!" Then I went on a five minute discourse on the virtues of bacon, how it should be its own food group, etc. She politely waited for me to quit yapping and said, "No, not bacon... _baking_."

I was done talking after that...


----------



## TexasGirl (Dec 21, 2011)

I was writing smut for two days and came back to find the thread full of pork!

I'm DISSapointed.

But I did have my bacon today, with french toast and strawberries!


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

T.K. Richardson said:


> In December I went back east for a graduation. After it was over we all met for lunch at one of the local restaurants. One of the girls there was a graduate from The Cordon Bleu. Taking the opportunity to get to know her better I asked, "So what's your favorite thing to cook?" (Cause who doesn't love to talk about food?) Through the clamor of the other patrons and the rest of the conversation at our table I heard her say, "Oh, I love bacon." To which I replied, "Oh, I love bacon, too!" Then I went on a five minute discourse on the virtues of bacon, how it should be its own food group, etc. She politely waited for me to quit yapping and said, "No, not bacon... _baking_."
> 
> I was done talking after that...


If it's any consolation, you can bake bacon in the oven. I actually bought some heavy-duty baking sheets just for that purpose.


----------



## Guest (Jan 21, 2013)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Geeze louise, all we need now is for ***** to show up....
> 
> 
> 
> Betsy


I was a good little Sith this weekend and spent my time actually WRITING!

I don't want any bacon. I prefer cookies.


----------



## Christopher Bunn (Oct 26, 2010)

Cookies? Now these are real cookies...


----------



## Madeline (Jun 5, 2010)

Egg wrapped in bacon? Oh my god.  I have to get out of this thread before I end up driving to IHOP and eating 52, 387 calories for breakfast.


----------



## Quinn Richardson (Apr 20, 2012)

Madeline said:


> Egg wrapped in bacon? Oh my god. I have to get out of this thread before I end up driving to IHOP and eating 52, 387 calories for breakfast.


Don't get too bent out of shape. It's still just bacon and eggs. Walk to IHOP and call it even.


----------



## Andrew Ashling (Nov 15, 2010)

TexasGirl said:


> I was writing smut for two days and came back to find the thread full of pork!
> 
> I'm DISSapointed.
> 
> But I did have my bacon today, with french toast and strawberries!


To be fair, most threads are full of pork.


----------



## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)

Andrew Ashling said:


> To be fair, most threads are full of pork.


Ah, is that what they're full of?


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Christopher Bunn said:


> Cookies? Now these are real cookies...


I make these for breakfast (and, um, dinner) at least four or five days of the week.


----------



## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

JRTomlin said:


> Sounds reasonable to me. I'm all for having someone bring me my bacon and not have to go outside in that light stuff up in the sky. *shudder*
> 
> And now time for some porridge with a side of bacon. Nom Nom Nom


Why do people spell this 'nom' with an 'o'? I pronounce it 'num' with a soft 'u', so that is the way I spell it. Just always wondered about that. All the zombie novels I have read lately use 'nom', and I think it's strange.


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

People are saying "nom" in zombie novels? ಠ_ಠ Ye gods.

Anyway, the use of "nom" is a product of internet culture. Some detail here. (That page shouldn't be NSFW, but if you wander around the site, you'll probably come across objectionable material. Wander with caution.)


----------



## jackz4000 (May 15, 2011)

I gave up eating any bacon about 7 years ago. At first it was difficult. I would dream of bacon. I looked for a bacon substitute. I pretended I was eating bacon yogurt and the salad had bacon bits. Finally I lost the bacon craving and it lasted for a few years.

Then some friends came over to make lunch for a small party I had. They brought bacon. And they cooked it. I smelled its intoxicating aroma. Thinking all healthy things I didn't eat any of the bacon.

Late that night I woke up. I realized I hadn't had a bit of bacon in over 5 years. Midnight I am in the 24/7 supermarket. I cooked it and made a BLT and I realized how wrong I had been. I love bacon. 

Why did I give her up for 5 long lonely years? Why?


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

jackz4000 said:


> Why did I give her up for 5 long lonely years? Why?


Because it's possibly the unhealthiest meat product aside from cold cuts, what with all the nitrates and preservatives?

But hey hey, you only live once. Twice. Something like that. And a life without bacon isn't a life worth living.


----------



## elalond (May 11, 2011)

Christopher Bunn said:


> Cookies? Now these are real cookies...


That looks really good.



smreine said:


> I make these for breakfast (and, um, dinner) at least four or five days of the week.


Recipe, please.


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

There are quite a few variations on the recipe, but here's one: http://everydaypaleo.com/egg-cupcakes/ Scallions make these extra yum. If I'm feeling ambitious, I may also sautee mushrooms or spinach and use that as a base. I also usually put cheese on top for extra mmmmm.


----------



## elalond (May 11, 2011)

smreine said:


> There are quite a few variations on the recipe, but here's one: http://everydaypaleo.com/egg-cupcakes/ Scallions make these extra yum. If I'm feeling ambitious, I may also sautee mushrooms or spinach and use that as a base. I also usually put cheese on top for extra mmmmm.


That looks interesting and tasteful. Thank you for the link. Now, I only have to figure out how to tempt my dad so he will make them.


----------



## Pnjw (Apr 24, 2011)

smreine said:


> And a life without bacon isn't a life worth living.


    Runs of to contemplate the ways in which to end my sorry existence. (Bacon is a migraine trigger)


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

Deanna Chase said:


> Runs of to contemplate the ways in which to end my sorry existence. (Bacon is a migraine trigger)


Oh cruel fate! That's okay, we'll let you live anyway.

(Migraines really, really suck.)


----------



## Pnjw (Apr 24, 2011)

smreine said:


> Oh cruel fate! That's okay, we'll let you live anyway.
> 
> (Migraines really, really suck.)


Oh, good. I'll gladly cook it for you, though.


----------



## Nathalie Hamidi (Jul 9, 2011)

Cherise Kelley said:


> Why do people spell this 'nom' with an 'o'? I pronounce it 'num' with a soft 'u', so that is the way I spell it. Just always wondered about that. All the zombie novels I have read lately use 'nom', and I think it's strange.


OM NOM NOM NOM
http://www.omnomnomnom.com/
If you're not saying it out loud, you're doing it wrong.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

There's no bacon involved, but I often make eggs in ambush for brunch, whenever we happen to have leftover rolls.


----------



## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

> If it's any consolation, you can bake bacon in the oven. I actually bought some heavy-duty baking sheets just for that purpose.


We also BBQ bacon. Just about every weekend. On a heavy duty pan we add red and yellow bell peppers, onions, and whatever fresh veggies we have at the time (really any veggies work). Add a little olive oil, red wine, garlic cloves, and fresh ground pepper and voila! Perfect bacon and veggie BBQ.


----------



## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

With all the bacon recipe goodness from this thread alone we could easily create a bacon cookbook! 

Okay, who's up to it?


----------



## Guest (Jan 21, 2013)

I fear all this talk of bacon has made my cholesterol go up substantially.


----------



## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

Julie, I was going to nominate you to do the cookbook.


----------



## Pnjw (Apr 24, 2011)

JRHenderson said:


> Deanna, are turkey rashers not available in the United States?
> http://www.mattessons.co.uk/?page_id=376


I'm going to assume you mean turkey bacon. Then yes, it is, but where I live it's not really readily available without driving 40 miles. Some things that may be considered healthy (or healthier) are hard to find here in the south. lol


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

T.K. Richardson said:


> With all the bacon recipe goodness from this thread alone we could easily create a bacon cookbook!


I'm not sure about a bacon cookbook, but way back in the day, a bunch of SF writers of wildly varying degrees of fame and/or infamy put together "Cooking Out of This World", which was half strange recipes, half strange anecdotes about cooking.

A bunch of us indie prawns could do something similar, a mixture of recipes and interminable anecdotes only other prawns care about, and call it something like "Cooking Out of Our Minds". Because, boy, that's really show The Man The Big Six The Man them, huh?


----------



## Christopher Bunn (Oct 26, 2010)

Thanks for the bacon cupcake link, smreine. Great website! Off to investigate more recipes on it...


----------



## Gennita Low (Dec 13, 2012)

I can contribute my famous Malaysian Bacon fried rice to the KB Bacon Cookbook.


----------



## AnneEton (Nov 30, 2012)

You GUYS, I just started my diet!


----------



## Madeline (Jun 5, 2010)




----------



## merryxmas (Jun 21, 2012)

I must be in the minority as I don't get the bacon craze of the past few years.  It has jumped the shark.  Bacon everything.  It's like a catchall crowd pleaser but I don't feel it is justified in being there.  Call me when attention shifts towards cake shakes (cupcakes blended with a milkshake).  Other acceptable food talk would be avocados, turkey sausage, greek salad with lots of kalamata olives, and gyros.


----------



## 41413 (Apr 4, 2011)

merryxmas said:


> I must be in the minority as I don't get the bacon craze of the past few years. It has jumped the shark. Bacon everything. It's like a catchall crowd pleaser but I don't feel it is justified in being there. Call me when attention shifts towards cake shakes (cupcakes blended with a milkshake). Other acceptable food talk would be avocados, turkey sausage, greek salad with lots of kalamata olives, and gyros.


You're going to hate this, but I like to whip up a huge batch of guacamole and eat it using crispy bacon instead of tortilla chips. It's one of my favorite snack/meals.


----------



## merryxmas (Jun 21, 2012)

smreine said:


> You're going to hate this, but I like to whip up a huge batch of guacamole and eat it using crispy bacon instead of tortilla chips. It's one of my favorite snack/meals.


That does sound quite delicious. I don't hate the thought of bacon per se but the constant hype around it brings it down on my shelf of wants to about the same level as vegetable chips. Tasty but I don't ever crave it.

If I was offered bacon or a bagel with lox it would be the latter every time.

On another I am disappoint food note, the ubiquitous everyman's vomit paste aka ketchup is probably the most disgusting thing on the planet. AMIRITE?

I hate ketchup. I hate its taste, its consistency, I hate its eggshell sheen when it just sits there threatening your freedom fries with an avalanche of bile. Grosses me out. It is peasant fodder. Let the hoi polloi wash themselves in that. Now, mustard, specifically Coleman's mustard is the condiment of champions.


----------



## Guest (Jan 24, 2013)

merryxmas said:


> I must be in the minority as I don't get the bacon craze of the past few years.


In all seriousness, a lot of it is 'pushback" against the health/wellness/organic food movement of the last few years. Bacon pretty much represents all that is wrong with the food industry (high fat, high sodium, high calories, low nutritional value) and yet embracing it is sort of like giving the middle finger to people telling you to eat healthy.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

merryxmas said:


> I hate ketchup. I hate its taste, its consistency, I hate its eggshell sheen when it just sits there threatening your freedom fries with an avalanche of bile. Grosses me out. It is peasant fodder.


I feel the same way about the overprocessed tomato compote that's so ubiquitous, but homemade ketchup can be a mighty wonderful thing, and several of ketchup's kissing cousins are pretty awesome in their own right, like currywurst sauce.

Homemade mustard too, for that matter. I make a jar of the stuff about twice a year. I store it in a large-ish baby food jar in the fridge, which is not coincidentally a wonderful way to squick people out. "Why are you spreading baby food on your ham sandwich, George?" 

I draw the line at homemade mayo, though. It's tasty, but not worth the time and effort.


----------



## elalond (May 11, 2011)

George Berger said:


> I feel the same way about the overprocessed tomato compote that's so ubiquitous, but homemade ketchup can be a mighty wonderful thing, and several of ketchup's kissing cousins are pretty awesome in their own right, like currywurst sauce.
> 
> Homemade mustard too, for that matter. I make a jar of the stuff about twice a year. I store it in a large-ish baby food jar in the fridge, which is not coincidentally a wonderful way to squick people out. "Why are you spreading baby food on your ham sandwich, George?"
> 
> I draw the line at homemade mayo, though. It's tasty, but not worth the time and effort.


George, the things you do.  You are a rare find.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

elalond said:


> George, the things you do.  You are a rare find.


It's really not that hard, and volume-for-volume, not really any more expensive than any good "boutique" mustard from the store - plus you have the (dubious) benefit of knowing exactly what's in it.  The jar I have in the fridge right now is from this recipe:


```
4 oz mustard powder
4 tsp salt
1 Tbsp minced tarragon leaves
2 cloves minced garlic
roughly 1 C tarragon vinegar

Mix all ingredients together in a bowl. Dribble in tarragon vinegar, a little at a time, mixing with a spoon until you get the desired consistency.
```
I'm not sure where it came from, offhand; the recipe in my notebook says "ca. 1840", so I assume it's from some old cookbook I found online at some point, but, eh.

It makes about one cup of mustard, FWIW, and probably keeps more-or-less forever.

Making ketchup is rather more complicated, but really no harder than making, oh, a marinara sauce from scratch. Unfortunately, you inevitably make a _lot_, and it does go bad. That's why I mentioned currywurst sauce in particular - it's similar in many ways to ketchup, and if you happen to like currywurst, you'll be able to go through a batch in a reasonable amount of time.

Or you could just decant it into a bunch of small bottles, I guess, and freeze most of them, but that would entail _planning_.


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## DRMarvello (Dec 3, 2011)

George Berger said:


> ...The jar I have in the fridge right now is from this recipe...


Thanks for the recipe, George! I've always wanted to try making my own mustard, but thought I had to start with seeds. Using powder sounds much easier.


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## CaedemMarquez (Mar 23, 2011)

JRTomlin said:


> If you're not defensive, you will get along better here.
> 
> Up to you. I'm just sayin'. You haven't been around long enough to know you or what you're like.


Okay, let me jump in here for a sec. There are a lot of KBers who are hyper defensive each time they post a response and there are also a TON of KBers who are mild mannered and funny and chill who I would love to hang with. The defensive ones get along just fine in here and though I don't know the OP, there are certain things said on this thread already which give her the right to be defensive.

Just sayin'.   

ETA: Oops, I guess Nikka wasn't the OP but I am addressing the Nikka issue.

Also, I am FIVE pages late in responding, lol. I lost track of this thread recently.


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> In all seriousness, a lot of it is 'pushback" against the health/wellness/organic food movement of the last few years. Bacon pretty much represents all that is wrong with the food industry (high fat, high sodium, high calories, low nutritional value) and yet embracing it is sort of like giving the middle finger to people telling you to eat healthy.


Ah but you see, I would disagree with what is wrong with the food industry.

Extremely high sugar content (and sugar in everything), High Fructose Corn Syrup (also in pretty much everything), transfats, artificial sweeteners are a lot more dangerous to us than some salt. 

ETA: CaedemMarquez, as far as I am concerned there IS no issue to address and I have no intention of arguing with you so if you want to argue, you'll have to do it on your own.


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## MGalloway (Jun 21, 2011)

George Berger said:


> I draw the line at homemade mayo, though. It's tasty, but not worth the time and effort.


And probably a bit risky to home process/can too, unless you have the right equipment. (I've never checked to see if one could home-can such a thing.)

Speaking of mayo, it looks like ThinkGeek has baconnaise on their site...along with loads of other bacon items.


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## elalond (May 11, 2011)

George, you are too modest. 

Thank you for the recipe. It looks quite simple, maybe it is something that I would make. You see I imagine I cook pretty well myself, but I'm quite lazy and the only things that I make in larger quantities is home-made liquor. 

You know, instead of small bottles, I would use a bags for making ice-cubes or models for ice-cubes (I hope I used the right word for it?).


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## CaedemMarquez (Mar 23, 2011)

Cherise Kelley said:


> Why do people spell this 'nom' with an 'o'? I pronounce it 'num' with a soft 'u', so that is the way I spell it. Just always wondered about that. All the zombie novels I have read lately use 'nom', and I think it's strange.


I've heard of pronouncing it "Num Num Num" but people I know also pronounce it "Nom nom nom."

PS - on a side note I know a very pretty girl in Spokane. Just thought people might want to know that perfectly useless piece of information.


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## CaedemMarquez (Mar 23, 2011)

JRTomlin said:


> Ah but you see, I would disagree with what is wrong with the food industry.
> 
> Extremely high sugar content (and sugar in everything), High Fructose Corn Syrup (also in pretty much everything), transfats, artificial sweeteners are a lot more dangerous to us than some salt.
> 
> ETA: CaedemMarquez, as far as I am concerned there IS no issue to address and I have no intention of arguing with you so if you want to argue, you'll have to do it on your own.


Arguing? Lol. Who is arguing? I'm eating pancakes and chillin' online at KB.

There are a lot of things I do by myself, but arguing ain't one of them!


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

CaedemMarquez said:


> Arguing? Lol. Who is arguing? I'm eating pancakes and chillin' online at KB.
> 
> There are a lot of things I do by myself, but arguing ain't one of them!


I'm having coffee and chillin. Your post struck me as argumentative, but maybe I haven't had enough coffee yet.


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## CaedemMarquez (Mar 23, 2011)

JRTomlin said:


> Your post struck me as argumentative


k


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## merryxmas (Jun 21, 2012)

George Berger said:


> I feel the same way about the overprocessed tomato compote that's so ubiquitous, but homemade ketchup can be a mighty wonderful thing, and several of ketchup's kissing cousins are pretty awesome in their own right, like currywurst sauce.
> 
> Homemade mustard too, for that matter. I make a jar of the stuff about twice a year. I store it in a large-ish baby food jar in the fridge, which is not coincidentally a wonderful way to squick people out. "Why are you spreading baby food on your ham sandwich, George?"
> 
> I draw the line at homemade mayo, though. It's tasty, but not worth the time and effort.


I'll have to try my hand at making that homemade mustard. How is the spice? I mentioned Coleman's mustard because it has a fantastic spice to it not unlike a hefty amount of wasabi mashed into soy sauce. Love that tingling sensation.

This currywurst sauce sounds intriguing...


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## Pnjw (Apr 24, 2011)

JRTomlin said:


> Ah but you see, I would disagree with what is wrong with the food industry.
> 
> Extremely high sugar content (and sugar in everything), High Fructose Corn Syrup (also in pretty much everything), transfats, artificial sweeteners are a lot more dangerous to us than some salt.


This is no joke. Sugar/high fructose corn syrup is literally in almost every processed food. And lately all the "organic good for you stuff" has cane sugar. It's frustrating. (Sugar is my major migraine trigger).

Totally off topic (even more), but my show buddy, the one I travel with for art shows, is allergic to garlic. Imagine the two of us navigating restaurant menus.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

merryxmas said:


> I'll have to try my hand at making that homemade mustard. How is the spice? I mentioned Coleman's mustard because it has a fantastic spice to it not unlike a hefty amount of wasabi mashed into soy sauce. Love that tingling sensation.


I'm not sure when the last time I had Colman's prepared mustard was, to be honest. We've used homemade for over a year, maybe two. I wouldn't say it's _terribly_ spicy, at least with the mustard powder I used (Colman's), but I eat a lot of Thai food, so my standard for spiciness might be... skewed.  My partner likes it, though, and they're not at all a fan of anything particularly hot. Comparable to a good Dijon mustard, I'd say. Ladling it onto a hotdog by the ounce, like yellow mustard, would be a painful learning experience, though. Makes a good stroganoff, if that's your thing.



> This currywurst sauce sounds intriguing...


It's pretty much a tomato sauce with curry powder, and there are some recipes that make _literally_ that - you start with a couple cups of boring old ketchup, and... no. This recipe from Saveur looks pretty similar to the one I've used, and is probably a good starting point. It also makes a pretty modest amount, unlike some recipes that make a quart or more.


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## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)

Deanna Chase said:


> This is no joke. Sugar/high fructose corn syrup is literally in almost every processed food. And lately all the "organic good for you stuff" has cane sugar. It's frustrating. (Sugar is my major migraine trigger).
> 
> Totally off topic (even more), but my show buddy, the one I travel with for art shows, is allergic to garlic. Imagine the two of us navigating restaurant menus.


We'll have two glasses of water and a lettuce leaf, please....


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## Lisa Grace (Jul 3, 2011)

Deanna Chase said:


> This is no joke. Sugar/high fructose corn syrup is literally in almost every processed food. And lately all the "organic good for you stuff" has cane sugar. It's frustrating. (Sugar is my major migraine trigger).


Funny story totally off topic: I was trying to convince my daughter to choose to eat my Cascadian Farms Organic Granola with Raisins over her dad's Lucky Charms.

She says, "But Mom, yours has more sugar grams per serving, so Lucky Charms is healthier." She was right.

That's what I get for teaching her how to read the nutritional information on the box, and not reading it myself.


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## Pnjw (Apr 24, 2011)

vrabinec said:


> We'll have two glasses of water and a lettuce leaf, please....


The one time we went with a group to an Italian restaurant, she ended up with a $20 plate of lettuce and a few glasses of wine. It's pretty much the only time I've ever seen her actually drunk. lol


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## Guest (Jan 24, 2013)

LisaGraceBooks said:


> so Lucky Charms is healthier." She was right.


They also have the benefit of being magically delicious.


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## unkownwriter (Jun 22, 2011)

Ye Gods! I don't eat that much bacon, and I low-carb.  

Now I have to go to the store. I need more bacon. 

And tarragon.


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## 60911 (Jun 13, 2012)

LisaGraceBooks said:


> Funny story totally off topic: I was trying to convince my daughter to choose to eat my Cascadian Farms Organic Granola with Raisins over her dad's Lucky Charms.
> 
> She says, "But Mom, yours has more sugar grams per serving, so Lucky Charms is healthier." She was right.
> 
> That's what I get for teaching her how to read the nutritional information on the box, and not reading it myself.


As an aside, both of them are fine General Mills products. (My wife works for General Mills.) Whoops, that was neither off-topic nor fun. *wanders away*


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

George Berger said:


> I'm not sure when the last time I had Colman's prepared mustard was, to be honest. We've used homemade for over a year, maybe two. I wouldn't say it's _terribly_ spicy, at least with the mustard powder I used (Colman's), but I eat a lot of Thai food, so my standard for spiciness might be... skewed.  My partner likes it, though, and they're not at all a fan of anything particularly hot. Comparable to a good Dijon mustard, I'd say. Ladling it onto a hotdog by the ounce, like yellow mustard, would be a painful learning experience, though. Makes a good stroganoff, if that's your thing.
> 
> It's pretty much a tomato sauce with curry powder, and there are some recipes that make _literally_ that - you start with a couple cups of boring old ketchup, and... no. This recipe from Saveur looks pretty similar to the one I've used, and is probably a good starting point. It also makes a pretty modest amount, unlike some recipes that make a quart or more.


This is a pretty good recipe for ketchup in my opinion and has the advantage that it doesn't make a huge amount. I do vary the recipe slightly to my own taste though. 

http://www.saveur.com/article/Recipes/Homemade-Ketchup

ETA: For my taste I reduce the sugar, decease the water, and increase the vinegar, garlic and onion and take out the cinnamon. I end up with a somewhat zingier ketchup and it's pretty darn good. 

This used to be my favorite mustard recipe but I can't use anything with Guinness any more. 

http://www.saveur.com/article/Recipes/Spicy-Guinness-Mustard


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## Burrito Fart (Apr 22, 2012)

Oh man. Camden's Blue Label Catsup is THE BEST. I wish I could make it at home.


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## Anne Victory (Jul 29, 2010)

The whole high fructose corn syrup reminds me of their recent push that it's not bad for you - commercials saying it's a natural product of corn, blahbetty blah.  Not to argue that statement - but it's totally a straw man.  The argument isn't that high fructose corn syrup is worse for you than sugar, honey, etc. - it's that it's a sugar, period.  If you're watching carbs, have diabetes, etc., HFCS will affect your body the same way sugar does.  *sigh*  That's all.  It's not that it's "bad for you," per se, it's "Don't be fooled just because it doesn't say "sugar."  Bah - I know, preachin' to the choir


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## jnfr (Mar 26, 2011)

Ketchup is too sweet. I can barely stand the stuff. But if you take some home-grown tomatoes, chop them into a pyrex pan with olive oil, chopped garlic, and fresh rosemary sprigs, then bake until they nearly dry and the top is just starting to char, now then you have something worthy of being eaten with bacon.


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

Arkali said:


> The whole high fructose corn syrup reminds me of their recent push that it's not bad for you - commercials saying it's a natural product of corn, blahbetty blah. Not to argue that statement - but it's totally a straw man. The argument isn't that high fructose corn syrup is worse for you than sugar, honey, etc. - it's that it's a sugar, period. If you're watching carbs, have diabetes, etc., HFCS will affect your body the same way sugar does. *sigh* That's all. It's not that it's "bad for you," per se, it's "Don't be fooled just because it doesn't say "sugar." Bah - I know, preachin' to the choir


Also the fact that they put it in many things that should not have sugar in it at all and people have gotten used to _everything_ tasting sweet and our food has these tremendous amounts of hidden sugar.


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## Anne Victory (Jul 29, 2010)

JRTomlin said:


> Also the fact that they put it in many things that should not have sugar in it at all and people have gotten used to _everything_ tasting sweet and our food has these tremendous amounts of hidden sugar.


Oh, yeah. We eat so much sugar it's crazy, especially compared with the turn of 20th century.


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

jnfr said:


> Ketchup is too sweet. I can barely stand the stuff. But if you take some home-grown tomatoes, chop them into a pyrex pan with olive oil, chopped garlic, and fresh rosemary sprigs, then bake until they nearly dry and the top is just starting to char, now then you have something worthy of being eaten with bacon.


I agree that commercial ketchup is just sugar hidden inside some tomato sauce which is why I like the homemade stuff. It is seriously an improvement.


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## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

JRTomlin said:


> This is a pretty good recipe for ketchup in my opinion and has the advantage that it doesn't make a huge amount. I do vary the recipe slightly to my own taste though.
> 
> http://www.saveur.com/article/Recipes/Homemade-Ketchup
> 
> ETA: For my taste I reduce the sugar, decease the water, and increase the vinegar, garlic and onion and take out the cinnamon. I end up with a somewhat zinger ketchup and it's pretty darn good.


This looks interesting, as well: Umami ketchup, albeit with a scary amount of sugar.

My limited experience is that homemade ketchups tend to be on the thinner side, and I think that's more-or-less normal. I suspect, intuitively, that part of the horror of commercial ketchup is cornstarch used as a thickener, which would also account for the sheen. Anyone who's ever been tricked into making a gravy with cornstarch will know what I'm talking about. 

Somewhat on the topic of sugar in _everything_, most 19th-century recipes for tomato ketchup didn't involve _any_ added sugar.










These are from _The Cook's Own Book_, ca. 1840. Vinegar, salt, pepper, spices... no sugar.

Around the first decade of the 20th century you start seeing sugar show up in ketchup recipes.



















Two subsequent recipes from _Miss Parloa's New Cook Book and Marketing Guide_ (in the sense of "shopping at the market" - George), ca. 1908. One with sugar, one without. The same year _Lowney's Cook Book_ included two ketchup recipes, both of which included (brown) sugar, and the few WWI cookbooks, ca 1916-1919, that included a ketchup recipe _all_ involve corn syrup as a sweetener, pretty much setting the pace for the next hundred years.

Weird how no two recipes include anything like the same seasonings, isn't it? 

George's random culinary tip of the day: A lot of old recipes from pre-WWII call for you to force food through a sieve (and in really old recipes, a flannel cloth...), which is a phenomenal pain in the posterior, especially when you're dealing with a gallon of hot soup or something like that. It's not always immediately obvious, but that was the old-fashioned way of liquifying stuff, before everyone had blenders. Unless you're into living-history reenactment or masochism, just use a blender. Or an immersion blender, which nicely solves the problem of what to do when you made more of something than will fit in your counter-top blender.


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## JRTomlin (Jan 18, 2011)

George Berger said:


> This looks interesting, as well: Umami ketchup, albeit with a scary amount of sugar.
> 
> My limited experience is that homemade ketchups tend to be on the thinner side, and I think that's more-or-less normal. I suspect, intuitively, that part of the horror of commercial ketchup is cornstarch used as a thickener, which would also account for the sheen. Anyone who's ever been tricked into making a gravy with cornstarch will know what I'm talking about.
> 
> ...


Hush! I try very hard to pretend that gravy made with cornstarch is as good as gravy made with flour.

One of the things I like about that recipe I posted a link for is that even with the full amount of sugar it calls for it's not very sweet and it doesn't call for so much that when I reduce it, it messes it up. That "Peck of tomatoes" recipe is scary. 

ETA: I love posting in this thread and imagining Betsy rolling her eyes.


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