# What's the daftest comment/question you've had about your writing?



## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

I once had a woman come up to me and ask, somewhat indignantly, "How can you write children's books if you haven't got any children?"

Fortunately I had the presence of mind to reply, "Not having children didn't seem to hamper Beatrix Potter."


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## Erratic (May 17, 2014)

"Where do you get your ideas?"

This one always baffle me. I have an abundance of ideas but I don't know where I get them, lol.

Here's a funny one: "Am I in one of your books?!"

Uh, no. XD


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## ShadyWolfBoy (Sep 23, 2015)

Erratic said:


> "Where do you get your ideas?"


I get this one a bunch. I've started answering "everywhere?"

The strangest comment I get, and I see it repeated a lot in my reviews on the various Starship's Mage books, is various variations on wanting to see the story of the main character in school/training.

Might be an interesting story, but its not the story I'm telling. If someone wants Harry Potter in space, maybe they should write it instead of asking why I didn't


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## Becca Mills (Apr 27, 2012)

Jan Hurst-Nicholson said:


> I once had a woman come up to me and ask, somewhat indignantly, "How can you write children's books if you haven't got any children?"


"Oh, it's easy. I just imagine I'm writing for you."

<why no KB devil smilie??>


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## GeneDoucette (Oct 14, 2014)

I have a three-novella anthology with a review on Amazon saying there was too much sex.  There's no sex in any of the three stories.


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## scott.marmorstein (May 26, 2015)

People always say, "Yeah, I'd love to write a book, but I just don't have the time." Dumbest thing ever to say. We all have the same 24 hours in one day as far as I know. I carve it out because it's valuable to me to do. If I weren't compelled from a sense of loving duty and sheer joy, I'd sit in front of the Boob-Tube like a slack-jawed idiot as well, or find my time crocheting a doily for my aunt Agatha (I don't have an aunt, but if I did she'd have to be named that). I get that some people are so career and child-laden that they literally do not have the time for it, but then why worry over writing something when you just don't have the time for it? Writers gotta write!

Oh and one more strange one gets asked a lot: "Where can I get your books?"  I have to answer that they're all on Amazon. Believe it or not where I work some people are like, "Ooh, what's Amazon?" Their sincerity frightens me!


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## Word Fan (Apr 15, 2015)

scott.marmorstein said:


> "Ooh, what's Amazon?"


Wait, _what?_


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## Michael W Griffith (Sep 6, 2014)

My book has a strong conflict between the father and son. The father is quite often a sarcastic jerk who's pretty tough on his son. One of my advance readers explained _it didn't resemble any child raising methods he was aware of_, and _I loved my parents. They would never have acted like that._

I'm relatively new at this but I thought making the main character a father-of-the-year candidate would have been boring...


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## Mark E. Cooper (May 29, 2011)

"Where do you get your ideas?"


All. The. Time.


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## Not any more (Mar 19, 2012)

Take a look at the titles in my series below. "Why are your characters so fixated on sex?" and "I didn't like the book because the heroine sleeps around too much."

Of course, there's always the "are you really published or are you self published?"


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

brkingsolver said:


> Of course, there's always the "are you really published or are you self published?"


To which you answer, "I'm published by KDP, a big US publisher."


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## Michael W Griffith (Sep 6, 2014)

Jan Hurst-Nicholson said:


> To which you answer, "I'm published by KDP, a big US publisher."


Good answer, Jan.


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## Steve Margolis (Mar 31, 2015)

"Where did you get the idea for the book?"

It's a memoir.


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

Michael W Griffith said:


> Good answer, Jan.


You're welcome to use it should the occasion arise


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## lmckinley (Oct 3, 2012)

Jan Hurst-Nicholson said:


> I once had a woman come up to me and ask, somewhat indignantly, "How can you write children's books if you haven't got any children?"
> 
> Fortunately I had the presence of mind to reply, "Not having children didn't seem to hamper Beatrix Potter."


What a great answer. I don't think J. M. Barrie had children either.

Someone asked me if I had written a self-help book on relationships after seeing the cover of my christian romance on Facebook. I'm thinking of changing the cover. And maybe the title


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

Steve Margolis said:


> "Where did you get the idea for the book?"
> 
> It's a memoir.


I think it was Stephen King who used to reply something like, "There's a little old lady who sells them in a shop on the corner." 
My answer is, "At the flea market". Which rather leaves you open to any number of clever/witty/sarcastic replies


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## TiffanyTurner (Jun 8, 2009)

Jan Hurst-Nicholson said:


> To which you answer, "I'm published by KDP, a big US publisher."





Jan Hurst-Nicholson said:


> To which you answer, "I'm published by KDP, a big US publisher."
> 
> You can also say Beatrice Potter self-published. I've seen the wooden stamps she used to stamp her illustrations in the Victoria and Albert Museum in London. So, she self-published children's book having no children. But she had been sending them to her friend's children to entertain them, and the friend suggested they were good enough to publish. They have the letters at the museum too. ;-)


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## snickerdoodle (Aug 12, 2015)

I write romance. One of the most frequent comments I get is, "But you're a _good writer_. You could write anything!"


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## Evenstar (Jan 26, 2013)

Questioner: "What kind of books do you write?"

Me: "I write teen romance novels, probably not your sort of thing."

Questioner: "No, but let me know if you write anything else though; I'd love to read that."


I can't tell you how many times I've had this conversation!


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## joyceharmon (May 21, 2012)

scott.marmorstein said:


> People always say, "Yeah, I'd love to write a book, but I just don't have the time."


And isn't it tragic that such a crowded schedule is depriving the world of a book that would be certain to be both a best-seller AND an instant classic?

Whenever I hear this 'I'd write a book if I had the time," I'm reminded of Lady Catherine in Pride and Prejudice, critiquing Elizabeth's performance on the piano and bragging that her own daughter WOULD have been an excellent performer if she'd ever learned to play.


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## 80593 (Nov 1, 2014)

Jan Hurst-Nicholson said:


> I think it was Stephen King who used to reply something like, "There's a little old lady who sells them in a shop on the corner."


He hates this question and comes up with the funniest answers. My favorite is the old "I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk."


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## Kay Bratt (Dec 28, 2011)

On a review for one of my books it says something like, 'Was this author on crack when she wrote this book?'
If you've ever read one of my books, you'd know how strange that comment really is. 
My stories are about family, loyalty, kindness, and compassion.
I'm not sure where the crack-influence comes in but I'll admit, when I read the review it made me laugh.


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## Carradee (Aug 21, 2010)

The daftest comment: "How dare you say X about me!" (in reference to fiction)

I've gotten that in reference to my fantasy with the psycho abusive parents and all (because they presumably _necessarily_ indicate that I believe my own parents are murderers and rapists), but I also got that from my brother in reference to a poem that actually WASN'T about him. He insisted necessarily was about him, because it had to be pulled from reality--despite the other poems he would've had to get through to get to that one, which included some obviously fantasy ones (referencing vampires, etc.).

Parents & bro also insisted I'm responsible for what my readers pull out of my stories--and they define "what readers pull" as "your family is horrific!" which they insist isn't true ([crickets]) and "you're angry/bitter/resentful" which they insist is true (but isn't). Never mind that I've actually talked to readers, and they pull messages more like "Even if your life is _horrible_, you can accept what actually is so you can keep what you want and change what you don't."

That's really the daftest situation I've had to deal with.

ETA: Well, there were also the "A young _female_ can't possibly write meaningful fantasy" and "Write something meaningful" (re: _A Fistful of Fire_), but that was also my parents.

They kept wanting me to write nonfiction rather than fiction-and then when I started writing nonfiction, they didn't like that, either. So surprising. /s


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## EllaApollodorus (Sep 29, 2015)

joyceharmon said:


> Whenever I hear this 'I'd write a book if I had the time," I'm reminded of Lady Catherine in Pride and Prejudice, critiquing Elizabeth's performance on the piano and bragging that her own daughter WOULD have been an excellent performer if she'd ever learned to play.


That's essentially what I got yesterday at work. I move a lot for work, and I generally don't tell people I write - too much negativity (which is sad, isn't it? It's one reason this is my pen name, not my real name). But, there is one person I work with right now that I happen to get along with well. I told her my plan to self-publish my novella serial, and then at some point take a year off from my day job to tour the national parks in a tent (and write on my tablet) (solar panels!). I did take three months off this year without having anything published, so it's not like I have to be a best seller to do that - I work short term contracts and don't have as many bills as other people.* I'm not going to try it until I have at least one year of the serial published and it has made enough money to pay for the trip plus my various insurance payments for the year, though. I do have *some* planning skillz. 

What was her response? That only a very few people ever make money writing, that there are far more people out there who are "actually good writers," (she's never read my writing), and that even SHE wouldn't try it, and SHE actually got As in English, "even up into college!"**

Yeah.

So that is now the daftest comment anyone has ever made to ME. Most of the time they just wish me luck and shake their heads as they turn away.

*Not that I'm some kind of super-awesome money-handler, I just don't have a house, husband, kids, or pets (anymore), and since I started writing I have given up ten million hobbies which kept me a slave to Michael's and Hobby Lobby. I'm still a slave to my Kindle, and I probably own ten writing programs I haven't used in two years because they don't hold a candle to Scrivener (except I have to use Word occasionally), but it's all good. 

**So did I, btw, but she never asked me that. ;-) And then she went on about the Greeks sacrificing babies when she heard my MC is a Greek goddess. AH WELL.


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## EllaApollodorus (Sep 29, 2015)

Mark E. Cooper said:


> "Where do you get your ideas?"
> 
> All. The. Time.


Survey says!

At the crossroads of Smith and 6th Street, there's a warehouse. Find the green door. Knock three times, pause, then knock three more times. When the man answers, make sure it's the man with the shifty brown eyes, not the beady black eyes. You don't want ideas from the man with the beady black eyes. If it's the woman with the bright green eyes... well, I just hope you're okay with bodice rippers and other romance tropes.


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## Guest (Nov 10, 2015)

"But you're a girl."
Said by a guy at a gaming convention upon discovering I actually wrote and published game material. 

"You seem normal."
Said by a co-worker upon learning I write horror.

"You must be rich!"
Said by a family member I hadn't seen for a while upon learning I have books for sale on Amazon.

"Do you ever talk to Jeff Bezos?"
Said by a different family member upon learning I sell books on Amazon.

"This book is promoting a Muslim Socialist agenda by proxy”
Said in an irate email.


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## Eskimo (Dec 31, 2013)

"Why do your books always have to have a couple of F-words in them?"

Because that's how bad guys talk.


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## Jennifer Lewis (Dec 12, 2013)

Someone once told me that writing my books (Harlequin romances at the time) was like writing a jingle. He so admired my skill to be able to do that.

I was like   Yes, I'm sure writing a 60K book is exactly the same as composing a 30 second snatch of music.

I got what he was trying to say but there was just no way it wasn't rude


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## Spin52 (Sep 6, 2015)

Jan Hurst-Nicholson said:


> I once had a woman come up to me and ask, somewhat indignantly, "How can you write children's books if you haven't got any children?"
> 
> Fortunately I had the presence of mind to reply, "Not having children didn't seem to hamper Beatrix Potter."


Or:
"The same way people can write mysteries without ever having killed anybody."


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## lilywhite (Sep 25, 2010)

I have one reader who emails me -- she's very VERY nice, but she doesn't like my books. She keeps encouraging me to "Write more XX books!" (where XX is a series by a completely different author) and left me a terrible review then asked to be on my ARC team.


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## CourtneyHunt71 (Sep 3, 2015)

Being a romance writer, I have gotten variations of the "When are you going to write a real book? Aren't those books all the same/filled with sex/vapid, etc." 

My former boss, when I mentioned I was writing my third novel, kept asking me how I knew which character belonged in which book and how come I didn't mix them up when I was writing. I still don't have a good answer for that one.

My mother's "Why did you have to use THAT word?" Despite being a romance reader for 30+ years, my mother is still having pearl-clutching fits of the vapors over my using a word that rhymes with "lock" in a love scene. (Not being vaporish here--just don't want to trip a google search and disappoint anyone 

Courtney


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## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

This one stands out for me.

"I'd love to be able to sit around and play on the computer all day, too."

Yeah, like writing books is just "play". And sitting around all day on my computer? Ha! I run two businesses, have a small ranch (goats, ducks, bees, chickens, rabbits, etc.), live in a remote mountain forest (almost 6,000 feet) where we've had 10 inches of snow already and more on the way, commute back and forth (1 1/2 hour drive each way) to town on a regular basis, chop firewood, fix leaky roofs with my hubby (our house is 106 years old) and do all of life's other necessities. Yeah, I'm playing on the computer all day.  

Or another favorite.

"I was going to write a book!" Said in a way like I shouldn't have because they were going to.


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## Chinese Writer (Mar 25, 2014)

I once had a Caucasian lady tell me that my grandmother character was not really Chinese because she didn't speak in broken English. I didn't even know how to reply to that.


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## AltMe (May 18, 2015)

I'm feeling a little left out.   

Being something of a hermit, I rarely have people talking about what I do.

That being said, I guess the one which stands out is, paraphrasing, "When will I see it (the series) on HBO?" 

But that isn't daft, that's wishful thinking!


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## Seshenet (May 20, 2015)

Wow, the things people say! I guess I've been weirdly lucky or something. Of course, I'm not published yet, but I don't think that would stop people from saying dumb things.

My family, friends and coworkers are all very supportive. None of them have any desire to write a novel and say they can't imagine how much work it must be. My aunt has always wanted an author in the family. She googles advice for writers and emails it to me.

Closest thing I can think of is that when I was a kid, my father told me hardly any writers made enough to live on w/o another job. His words came from fear that I might be poor as an adult. He grew up during the Depression and his only daughter would sit up in her room writing for hours. So he worried. But he never discouraged me from writing. Just get a job with a regular salary first and then write.

It's hard to ignore negativity. I find now that I'm past the half-century mark, I really don't give a **** (to paraphrase Rhett Butler). Negative people live on their planet and we live on ours, which is much nicer!


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## Word Fan (Apr 15, 2015)

CourtneyHunt71 said:


> &#8230;pearl-clutching fits of the vapors&#8230;


I LOVE that phrase!


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## Word Fan (Apr 15, 2015)

My father was once asked by a co-worker, after saying out loud that he was attempting to be an author:

_"What does it take to write one of them&#8230; books."_

The meaning was not _"to write one of a particular *type* of book."_ It was _"What does it take to write one of those strange, unknown things called 'books.' "_

Which that person obviously had not had much contact with since his school days, if even then.


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## Maggie Dana (Oct 26, 2011)

"I loved this book but it was too big and didn't fold easily."


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## EllaApollodorus (Sep 29, 2015)

T.K. Richardson said:


> This one stands out for me.
> 
> "I'd love to be able to sit around and play on the computer all day, too."
> 
> Yeah, like writing books is just "play". And sitting around all day on my computer? Ha! I run two businesses, have a small ranch (goats, ducks, bees, chickens, rabbits, etc.), live in a remote mountain forest (almost 6,000 feet) where we've had 10 inches of snow already and more on the way, commute back and forth (1 1/2 hour drive each way) to town on a regular basis, chop firewood, fix leaky roofs with my hubby (our house is 106 years old) and do all of life's other necessities. Yeah, I'm playing on the computer all day.


I confess I'm jealous. I want a small farm or ranch like you describe, only not in an area where snow is likely.  I have 38 acres, and it is in mountains (about 4500 ft), but it's desert, not forest, and I can't move down there until I use the day job to pay for a cabin and the rest of what I'll need to live down there. It'll be a while, and I won't have the ducks I wanted in the desert.


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## EllaApollodorus (Sep 29, 2015)

Maggie Dana said:


> "I loved this book but it was too big and didn't fold easily."


Fold

I hope it wasn't an e-book.


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## Maggie Dana (Oct 26, 2011)

EllaApollodorus said:


> Fold
> 
> I hope it wasn't an e-book.


It was ... and when I looked at the reviewer's page, it seems she reviews a lot of babies' cloth books with the same comment. Clearly her cut-and-paste skills failed the day she reviewed my MG horse book.


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## Patty Jansen (Apr 5, 2011)

"How much did you have to pay to have it published?"

Seriously. I get that all the time when I have a stand at cons. I guess those vanity presses that advertise everywhere are more insidious than ever.


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## SasgoraBooks (Aug 27, 2015)

Maggie Dana said:


> It was ... and when I looked at the reviewer's page, it seems she reviews a lot of babies' cloth books with the same comment. Clearly her cut-and-paste skills failed the day she reviewed my MG horse book.


You must pm me with a link to that review so I can respond with "You should probably contact Amazon customer service about not being able to get your Kindle to fold."


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## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

> I confess I'm jealous. I want a small farm or ranch like you describe, only not in an area where snow is likely.  I have 38 acres, and it is in mountains (about 4500 ft), but it's desert, not forest, and I can't move down there until I use the day job to pay for a cabin and the rest of what I'll need to live down there. It'll be a while, and I won't have the ducks I wanted in the desert.


 I'd love to have 38 acres! I do love my forest, though. A few weeks ago I went out after dark and a bear was thirty feet from the porch. I yelled and scared him away. He came back and ate my bee hives. And then there's the mountain lions and foxes which I love. Oh and wolves... I could go on and on! I do hope you'll get to move to your property soon. Living in the "wild" is beautiful!


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## AltMe (May 18, 2015)

T.K. Richardson said:


> I'd love to have 38 acres! I do love my forest, though. A few weeks ago I went out after dark and a bear was thirty feet from the porch. I yelled and scared him away. He came back and ate my bee hives. And then there's the mountain lions and foxes which I love. Oh and wolves... I could go on and on! I do hope you'll get to move to your property soon. Living in the "wild" is beautiful!


I looked out the door hesitantly, sighed, donned my combat suit, checked my handgun was set to stun, picked up the stunner rifle, and plodded slowly out on the porch. My enhanced senses scanned the area, noted the bear, lion and several foxes in the middle distance, and only a rabbit close nearby. I stepped down from red alert to yellow, sat in the lounge chair, removed my combat helmet, and started to sip my tea.


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

T.K. Richardson said:


> Or another favorite.
> 
> "I was going to write a book!" Said in a way like I shouldn't have because they were going to.


Can't remember who said this - but I love it. "It's said that everyone has at least one book in them - and with most people that's the best place for it."


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## Lauren P. (Jul 3, 2014)

TimothyEllis said:


> I looked out the door hesitantly, sighed, donned my combat suit, checked my handgun was set to stun, picked up the stunner rifle, and plodded slowly out on the porch. My enhanced senses scanned the area, noted the bear, lion and several foxes in the middle distance, and only a rabbit close nearby. I stepped down from red alert to yellow, sat in the lounge chair, removed my combat helmet, and started to sip my tea.


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## 86769 (Sep 21, 2015)

After people learn I'm a writer, I usually get asked, "So does it pay well? Like how much do you get?"

If only I could reply, "I'll tell you, if you tell me how much you earn doing your job." 

I'm just not that rude.


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## Doglover (Sep 19, 2013)

lmckinley said:


> What a great answer. I don't think J. M. Barrie had children either.
> 
> Someone asked me if I had written a self-help book on relationships after seeing the cover of my christian romance on Facebook. I'm thinking of changing the cover. And maybe the title


He had a wonderful Newfoundland dog, though, who he put into Peter Pan as Nana. Unfortunately the dog often appears as either a St Bernard or an Old English Sheepdog.


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## prettydelirious (Oct 28, 2015)

Oh, yeah, I got the, "how much money have you made?" a couple of times and it irked me to no end. I've also been asked COUNTLESS times if the girl on my cover is me. Like, seriously? No. It's not me. I know it's crazy that we're both brunettes, but there's actually more than one of those on this planet.


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## Doglover (Sep 19, 2013)

My sister in law told me very knowledgeably that all fiction is drawn from the writer's own experience. So Stephen King has a monster living in his local sewer who dresses as a clown and steals little children. Not only that but he once lived in a town which was populated entirely by vampires and there was this girl who could destroy everything with her mind. And how he survived when someone let a killer bug out of a laboratory and it wiped out most of the world, I do not know.  

Because she has no imagination, no one else is allowed one either.


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## LadyG (Sep 3, 2015)

CourtneyHunt71 said:


> Being a romance writer, I have gotten variations of the "When are you going to write a real book? Aren't those books all the same/filled with sex/vapid, etc."


Yes! Or the writer friend who sat me down and lectured me on how I need to stop wasting my time writing "fluff" and devote myself to writing things with more "merit."


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## Doglover (Sep 19, 2013)

LadyG said:


> Yes! Or the writer friend who sat me down and lectured me on how I need to stop wasting my time writing "fluff" and devote myself to writing things with more "merit."


Bloody cheek!


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## Doglover (Sep 19, 2013)

I showed a really good review to my daughter and her fiancé when he piped up: 'carry on like that and you will soon have a proper publisher'! Less control, less output, less money - who on earth wants one?


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## CourtneyHunt71 (Sep 3, 2015)

> Quote from: LadyG on Today at 03:37:34 AM
> Yes! Or the writer friend who sat me down and lectured me on how I need to stop wasting my time writing "fluff" and devote myself to writing things with more "merit."
> 
> Bloody cheek!


Yep! I've gotten that one too. From a friend who proudly claims never to have read a romance. Her bookshelves have another story to tell


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## Bishoppess (Apr 11, 2015)

T.K. Richardson said:


> I'd love to have 38 acres! I do love my forest, though. A few weeks ago I went out after dark and a bear was thirty feet from the porch. I yelled and scared him away. He came back and ate my bee hives. And then there's the mountain lions and foxes which I love. Oh and wolves... I could go on and on! I do hope you'll get to move to your property soon. Living in the "wild" is beautiful!


Ah, bears. They used to wander right through the yard at our old house. And the moose knew when hunting season began and ended too 

As for me and dumb questions, the only one I have comes from the husband person: When are you going to publish that thing so you can get rich and I can quit my job.

Me: EXCUSE ME? Do you have any idea just how unlikely that is?

Him: I say it because I totally believe you can do it!

Errrm... (he makes more than I do anyways. I get to quit first!!  )

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## Robert Salisbury (Oct 15, 2015)

snickerdoodle said:


> I write romance. One of the most frequent comments I get is, "But you're a _good writer_. You could write anything!"


You reply: Yeah, so was the guy who wrote Romeo and Juliet.


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## Zelah Meyer (Jun 15, 2011)

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## beauhall (Nov 10, 2015)

The main character of my first novel cusses. In fact several of them cuss. But my main character is also gay.

Another character mentions that she's gay, and one of the writers in my group wrote a note, _"oh that explains all the cussing."_

WHAT?


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## alawston (Jun 3, 2012)

"Is it autobiographical?"

This has been asked about many of my stories, but most recently, and weirdly most frequently, it's been asked about a short story about an insomniac young boy who enters into an abusive relationship with the monstrous child-torturing clown who lives under his bed.

But then, one of my works in progress pretty much _is_ autobiographical, and features owl demons from the dawn of time, talking birds, and a haunted delicatessen.


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## Talbot (Jul 14, 2015)

Spin52 said:


> Or:
> "The same way people can write mysteries without ever having killed anybody."


Agatha Christie: England's Butcher.


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## NoLongerPosting (Apr 5, 2014)

Removed due to site owner's change of TOS.


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

Rickie Blair said:


> I had a colleague at work (a lovely woman) ask me once what I did in my "spare" time and I said I wrote novels and showed her my website. Her reply:
> "Well, even if _no one but you _ever reads these books, it's still a very creative thing to be doing."
> 
> I think she was trying to be encouraging.


A former boss's wife was the queen of the back-handed compliment. When I showed her some of my successful books she commented. "That's good. After all, you've been waiting long enough for it."


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## Not any more (Mar 19, 2012)

A friend, a technical writer/editor, originally turned me on to UF and Romance books. She's beta read everything I've written and been very encouraging. But after my second book, she told me, "I'll never think of you the same way again."

Even though she reads bodice rippers, the sex in my first books shocked her because she knew the person who wrote it.


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## Talbot (Jul 14, 2015)

Someone asked me what the plot of my current project is. It's a paranormal adventure for teens so I gave her a quick synopsis of what the vampires, witches, and werewolves in my universe were up to.

She looked at me in horror. Then she asked, very gently, "And you..._believe_ in all that?"

Yes, yes, I do. All those Universal Horror movies were actually documentaries, you know.


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## ElHawk (Aug 13, 2012)

Erratic said:


> "Where do you get your ideas?"
> 
> This one always baffle me. I have an abundance of ideas but I don't know where I get them, lol.
> 
> ...


I saw the subject line and asked myself, "What IS the daftest question?" I didn't know.

Then I read this post, and I knew.

After my various acquaintances read Baptism for the Dead, nearly every one of the men I'd ever had any kind of romantic entanglement with asked me if he was "X," the love interest in the book.

It was embarrassing. For them. Despite his gender, X was based on me more than on anybody else I know. I told them all that, too.


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## ElHawk (Aug 13, 2012)

GeneDoucette said:


> I have a three-novella anthology with a review on Amazon saying there was too much sex. There's no sex in any of the three stories.


Hahaha! I have a bad review on my new series that says it's like a Harlequin romance. There's one sex scene in 130,000 words! I lol'd when I read it.


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## CourtneyHunt71 (Sep 3, 2015)

Speaking of back-handed compliments, my friend read one of my books and said "I had no idea you could actually write!" 

Um...thanks?


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## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

> I looked out the door hesitantly, sighed, donned my combat suit, checked my handgun was set to stun, picked up the stunner rifle, and plodded slowly out on the porch. My enhanced senses scanned the area, noted the bear, lion and several foxes in the middle distance, and only a rabbit close nearby. I stepped down from red alert to yellow, sat in the lounge chair, removed my combat helmet, and started to sip my tea.


 It's not quite that dangerous. (Usually...)


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## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

Another one I've heard multiple times: Are you famous? Do I know you?


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

T.K. Richardson said:


> Another one I've heard multiple times: Are you famous? Do I know you?


I've had 'SHOULD I know you?"


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## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

> I've had 'SHOULD I know you?"


Don't you want to say, "Of course you should know me! My books are everywhere!" ?


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## Not any more (Mar 19, 2012)

Of course, a question I've had for years, even before I started writing was, "Are you related to Barbara Kingsolver?" or "Are you Barbara Kingsolver?" This through emails, over the phone with customer service reps, etc. Book bloggers addressing me as Barbara and saying they'd be thrilled to review my book. 

Do you have that problem if your name is King or Roberts or Collins?


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## xandy3 (Jun 13, 2010)

Me: I'm a fantasy author. 

Drunk 21 year-old in bar:  Oh, so you write about guys who like hit the lottery for a million dollars and stuff? That's cool!


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## xandy3 (Jun 13, 2010)

Jan Hurst-Nicholson said:


> I've had 'SHOULD I know you?"


I usually get "Have I read anything that you've written?" 
or "would I have read anything that you've written?"

I usually say "Depends on what you read...I write fantasy, mostly." 
But, anymore I say "Do you have a Kindle?" LOL


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## LadyG (Sep 3, 2015)

Here's another one I hear from my co-workers: "But I _know _you! Why should I have to pay to read your books?"

Umm, okay. I know your husband, so why should I pay for him to fix my car?


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## Jennifer R P (Oct 19, 2012)

"Must be nice to work for yourself and be able to take time off whenever you want."

Me: *trying to remember my last day off*


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## Cherise (May 13, 2012)

"Ooh! We want a signed copy for Christmas!"

_Um, OK, but it's not like I'm rolling in money. I was kind of hoping you would buy a copy._


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

Cherise Kelley said:


> "Ooh! We want a signed copy for Christmas!"
> 
> _Um, OK, but it's not like I'm rolling in money. I was kind of hoping you would buy a copy._


You could tell them that it's supposed to be naff to give someone a copy of your book as a Christmas or Birthday gift .


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## Not any more (Mar 19, 2012)

Cherise Kelley said:


> "Ooh! We want a signed copy for Christmas!"
> 
> _Um, OK, but it's not like I'm rolling in money. I was kind of hoping you would buy a copy._


Since my family and friends sort of politely say, "That's nice," when I publish a new book and don't even ask what it's about, I don't have that problem. When someone intimates that my 5-star reviews come from family and friends, all I can do is roll my eyes.


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## NoBlackHats (Oct 17, 2012)

joyceharmon said:


> And isn't it tragic that such a crowded schedule is depriving the world of a book that would be certain to be both a best-seller AND an instant classic?
> 
> Whenever I hear this 'I'd write a book if I had the time," I'm reminded of Lady Catherine in Pride and Prejudice, critiquing Elizabeth's performance on the piano and bragging that her own daughter WOULD have been an excellent performer if she'd ever learned to play.


 BRILLIANT. I am going to keep that image with me the next time I hear that comment...


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## horst5 (Aug 9, 2013)

"Ooh, what's Amazon?"

I get this a lot, But then again, my readers are mostly in  the "advanced senior" group (between 65 and 85 years old)
Being 85 myself I still don't own a smart phone.
Nothing to brag about, but why would I pay the extra money if a $ 29.- cell phone lets me make a call?
Horst


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## AltMe (May 18, 2015)

brkingsolver said:


> Since my family and friends sort of politely say, "That's nice," when I publish a new book and don't even ask what it's about, I don't have that problem. When someone intimates that my 5-star reviews come from family and friends, all I can do is roll my eyes.


I'd roll my eyes, but I find it hurts.

I do LOL though. And I did, when it was suggested in a review.

As a paid up hermit in good standing, I dont have many in the way of face to face friends. And as far as I know, none of them even know I now write full time. I've missed so many of the gatherings in the last year, I'm not sure I get the invitations anymore.

So for someone to say all my 5 stars are from friends, is a joke.

As for family, we dont discuss my spiritual side at all, and I'm the only one in the family who reads Sci-Fi. My mother (Romance writer) edited my first 2 novels, but I left her behind during the 3rd while she was in Greece doing research, and being as busy as she is, she hasn't caught back up. Being the aforementioned hermit also applies to family as well, most of whom probably see the book ads on my FB and wonder why I keep posting them.

So to suggest my family leave me 5 star reviews is also a joke.

Being a joke, means I get to have a good laugh. And I'm always up for a good laugh.


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## lilywhite (Sep 25, 2010)

Doglover said:


> My sister in law told me very knowledgeably that all fiction is drawn from the writer's own experience. So Stephen King has a monster living in his local sewer who dresses as a clown and steals little children.


True story:

I live in Bangor. My daughter and I were walking through downtown one day on our way to the comic book store, and we had to go over a couple of small bridges that span the Kenduskeag Stream. One of these bridges is, unfortunately, where a young gay man was murdered in the 80s when a group of morons threw him over into the stream and he couldn't get out. This is a VERY loose basis for one of the stories in IT, in which a similar thing occurs but in this case Pennywise emerges from under the bridge to pull the unfortunate fellow under and eat him or whatever.

So my kid and I are heading over and I stop to look at one of the flowerboxes at the edge. She peers over the railing, down toward the water and says, in a voice of total wonder, "Mom! That clown looks like a monster!"

I'm a grownup. I know IT is make-believe. But in that moment? That didn't matter ONE BIT.

I grabbed her by the shoulder. "What did you say?!" I demanded, and even shook her a little, for emphasis.

She yanks out of my grip, looks at me like I'm nuts. "The cloud, you can see it reflected in the water, and it's shaped like a monster. Geez, Mom."

Oh, of course. That CLOUD looks like a monster. How ... silly of me.


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## lilywhite (Sep 25, 2010)

Jennifer R P said:


> "Must be nice to work for yourself and be able to take time off whenever you want."
> 
> Me: *trying to remember my last day off*


OMG this.


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## paigemarcella (Sep 1, 2015)

"Sequel please!" in response to reading my stand alone novel. But I take it as a compliment. Perhaps there could be a prequel...


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## 69959 (May 14, 2013)

My favorite: "I have an idea. You should write it."


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## SasgoraBooks (Aug 27, 2015)

lilywhite said:


> True story:
> 
> I live in Bangor. My daughter and I were walking through downtown one day on our way to the comic book store, and we had to go over a couple of small bridges that span the Kenduskeag Stream. One of these bridges is, unfortunately, where a young gay man was murdered in the 80s when a group of morons threw him over into the stream and he couldn't get out. This is a VERY loose basis for one of the stories in IT, in which a similar thing occurs but in this case Pennywise emerges from under the bridge to pull the unfortunate fellow under and eat him or whatever.
> 
> ...


That's the best Stephen King fan story I've ever heard.


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## Roby (May 14, 2015)

My first two books were SF. After one reading, a woman asked me (quite seriously), "Do you really think you've been to other planets?"

I wish I'd thought to say, "Right now is the closest I've ever gotten, Hon."


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## AltMe (May 18, 2015)

Roby said:


> My first two books were SF. After one reading, a woman asked me (quite seriously), "Do you really think you've been to other planets?"
> 
> I wish I'd thought to say, "Right now is the closest I've ever gotten, Hon."


I'm waiting for someone to ask me if I really think there is intelligent life on other planets, so I can say - I sure hope so, because there's none on this one.


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## TonyWrites (Oct 1, 2013)

The daftest comment I have gotten so far was, sadly, from another writer several years ago.  He/she thought I should turn my attempt at a boy meets girl story into a stalker/horror one - and I abhor that type of crud.


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## Doglover (Sep 19, 2013)

LadyG said:


> Here's another one I hear from my co-workers: "But I _know _you! Why should I have to pay to read your books?"
> 
> Umm, okay. I know your husband, so why should I pay for him to fix my car?


I wondered what you were going to use her husband for there for a minute!!


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## Doglover (Sep 19, 2013)

Jennifer R P said:


> "Must be nice to work for yourself and be able to take time off whenever you want."
> 
> Me: *trying to remember my last day off*


It's funny how people never realise that working for yourself means you have to do more, not less. I remember when a new owner took over our local grocery shop. He seemed to have that attitude; he was never open and when he was there was nothing on the shelves. Needless to say he soon went out of business!


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## Doglover (Sep 19, 2013)

DarkarNights said:


> That's the best Stephen King fan story I've ever heard.


I agree. But, if asked, I doubt Mr King would even realise where the idea came from.


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## Doglover (Sep 19, 2013)

brkingsolver said:


> Since my family and friends sort of politely say, "That's nice," when I publish a new book and don't even ask what it's about, I don't have that problem. When someone intimates that my 5-star reviews come from family and friends, all I can do is roll my eyes.


On the other forum (kdp) there seem to be a lot of people who say things like: 'we all have family and friends buy and review our books' - that makes me angry, because I would really rather friends and family knew nothing about it.


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

Stacy Claflin said:


> My favorite: "I have an idea. You should write it."


I've had that. Had to sit through at least 15 mins and listen to the entire plot. When I suggested, "You should write it all down," I received a bewildered look that intimated that *I *should be writing it down .


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

And the one that I find most exasperating - "It's easy to write children's books."  

Instead of arguing the point, I reply. "Yes. And I can't understand why publishers turn down at least 90% of the manuscripts submitted to them." 

This rather stumps them for a reply   .


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## Not any more (Mar 19, 2012)

Doglover said:


> On the other forum (kdp) there seem to be a lot of people who say things like: 'we all have family and friends buy and review our books' - that makes me angry, because I would really rather friends and family knew nothing about it.


Usually in a thread asking, "Why aren't my books selling? I sold 200 books the first month, but everything has dried up now."


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## Doglover (Sep 19, 2013)

brkingsolver said:


> Usually in a thread asking, "Why aren't my books selling? I sold 200 books the first month, but everything has dried up now."


That's the one. Or why isn't my 8 page 'book' selling then they get the hump when told.


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## Talbot (Jul 14, 2015)

Jan Hurst-Nicholson said:


> And the one that I find most exasperating - "It's easy to write children's books."


Gah, that gave me a nosebleed.


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## Brownskins (Nov 18, 2011)

paigemarcella said:


> "Sequel please!" in response to reading my stand alone novel. But I take it as a compliment. Perhaps there could be a prequel...


Should this comment be considered "daft"? I think all it means is that you write well and that the reader totally connected with your characters. Perhaps the reader is curious if your imagination has considered the possibility of your characters evolving after the stand alone novel (at least enough to possibly be another novel).

It looks like from the comments being shared here, all readers should premise their interaction with authors with, "I don't know much about writing or being an author, so forgive my ignorance but I am just curious, and I have this stupid thought/comment/question"... at least there is this disclaimer so as not to ruffle any feathers. You can then turn the conversation into a fun banter. I wonder how it is during book signing/ convention events - where really, the comments authors receive are without context (due to time constraints). Is the experience bothersome and full of "daft" feedback?


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## C. A. Mitchell (Aug 6, 2015)

"So, are you going to write another book after this one?"


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## T.K. (Mar 8, 2011)

> I confess I'm jealous. I want a small farm or ranch like you describe, only not in an area where snow is likely.  I have 38 acres, and it is in mountains (about 4500 ft), but it's desert, not forest, and I can't move down there until I use the day job to pay for a cabin and the rest of what I'll need to live down there. It'll be a while, and I won't have the ducks I wanted in the desert.


I uploaded a few pictures of my little ranch in the forest to a blog (it's kind of 'old school') and I thought I'd share them. It's nothing fancy but it gives me so much inspiration for writing. I think I'll keep adding pictures and posts to it and try to capture what it's like to live and write in the forest. 
http://meadowhouseranch.blogspot.com/


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## deanblake (Jun 10, 2013)

... This is just a hobby, right?


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## NoLongerPosting (Apr 5, 2014)

Removed due to site owner's change of TOS.


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## Carradee (Aug 21, 2010)

Rickie Blair said:


> Me: "Sorry I have to cancel this weekend. I have a deadline to get my MS to the copy editor by Monday."
> My friend: "Wow, the only time I'd agree to a deadline would be if I was _making_ money, not _spending_ it."


This one really nails the difference in mindset, methinks. Your friend just sees the immediate cost but not the long-term gain (or potential for it).


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## alawston (Jun 3, 2012)

Boyd said:


> "Hey, I've got this story, but I'm no good at writing. Here, I can tell you my idea, you do all the work and we split the money!" - Big fat bag of nope.
> 
> "Are you one of those self published authors or something?" - As if that means something horribly disgusting.


These are both horribly familiar. I've been in situations where I had to listen to the "idea", and it was never anything I'd bother to write about.


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## NoLongerPosting (Apr 5, 2014)

Removed due to site owner's change of TOS.


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## Fictionista (Sep 14, 2012)

"Do you still write?"

It might sound petty, but this question annoys the hell out of me. Well, DUH, of course I still write. I've been writing since I was seven--why would I stop now

Another one is when people ask me, "So what's your book about?".  Don't know why, but this question has always irritated me something terrible. I guess I'm just too hormonal and moody...UGH


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## Huldra (Nov 7, 2013)

I hate when I get asked "how the job hunt's going." by family members who know full well that I went straight into writing full-time after my postgrad.

I don't think a job I'd rather do exists out there, so why on earth would I look for one? For a lot less money, no less!


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## chalice (Jan 5, 2013)

Jan Hurst-Nicholson said:


> And the one that I find most exasperating - "It's easy to write children's books."
> 
> Instead of arguing the point, I reply. "Yes. And I can't understand why publishers turn down at least 90% of the manuscripts submitted to them."
> 
> This rather stumps them for a reply  .


*That one has me rolling on my bed laughing.
No lie.

Best Regards,
Shana Jahsinta Walters.*


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## Guest (Nov 22, 2015)

Brownskins said:


> Should this comment be considered "daft"? I think all it means is that you write well and that the reader totally connected with your characters. Perhaps the reader is curious if your imagination has considered the possibility of your characters evolving after the stand alone novel (at least enough to possibly be another novel).
> 
> It looks like from the comments being shared here, all readers should premise their interaction with authors with, "I don't know much about writing or being an author, so forgive my ignorance but I am just curious, and I have this stupid thought/comment/question"... at least there is this disclaimer so as not to ruffle any feathers. You can then turn the conversation into a fun banter. I wonder how it is during book signing/ convention events - where really, the comments authors receive are without context (due to time constraints). Is the experience bothersome and full of "daft" feedback?


Thanks for saying this.


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## EmmaS (Jul 15, 2014)

Boyd said:


> "Hey, I've got this story, but I'm no good at writing. Here, I can tell you my idea, you do all the work and we split the money!" - Big fat bag of nope.


A variant on this theme: "I have a great idea for a novel! It's about..." And then they go off for half an hour, with no encouragement from you, providing mind-numbing details of this hypothetical book you know _full well_ they are never going to sit down and write.


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## Andrei Cherascu (Sep 17, 2014)

Jan Hurst-Nicholson said:


> I once had a woman come up to me and ask, somewhat indignantly, "How can you write children's books if you haven't got any children?"


That's like asking, "How can you write scifi if you haven't been in a spaceship?"


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## Veronica Sicoe (Jun 21, 2015)

I haven't gotten any daft comments, but I guess the thing that irks me most is being asked "What's your book about?" by people who never read any fiction. They're just trying to seem interested, but why would I even bother talking much about my book with them if I know they won't buy it, have no point of reference to place it, and don't even care?


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## Guest (Nov 23, 2015)

My answer to the "where do you get your ideas?" is usually "where do you get yours?" or "on the toilet."
I compiled the pearls of review weirdness on my webpage (http://www.anneliewendeberg.com/about/dont-buy-my-books/), here's some of it:

"F-bomb, page 8" (that was the entire review)
"It is a book"
"Truthfully, I have not even read this book!"
"&#8230;some actions seemed to have been devised to just help sell more books."


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## Andrei Cherascu (Sep 17, 2014)

Annelie said:


> My answer to the "where do you get your ideas?" is usually "where do you get yours?" or "on the toilet."
> I compiled the pearls of review weirdness on my webpage (http://www.anneliewendeberg.com/about/dont-buy-my-books/), here's some of it:
> 
> "F-bomb, page 8" (that was the entire review)
> ...


"F-bomb, page 8" This cracked me up )


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## blancheking (Oct 15, 2015)

I was having my story workshopped in a public forum by a couple friends. The guy writing a similar story stops in.

"Your story doesn't make sense. I read the first chapter. Buildings are required to have emergency exit signs."
Me: *points out its a period piece.
"I didn't realize it was a period piece. Did you forget to mention it?"
Third line of story: "The roads disappeared under blankets of white, and businesses closed, slowed by the weather and the *Great Depression*."
"I don't know how I could have missed that. Funny because my story is set during the same time period and has a similar plot. [INSERT LINK in my public feedback area]


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

Annelie said:


> "F-bomb, page 8" (that was the entire review)


cue for certain readers to turn immediately to page 8


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## Annette_g (Nov 27, 2012)

I'm a bit of a recluse so don't get to meet that many people. Most of my family aren't readers, but they know I write and are supportive. Got a weird review a while back saying "How old is the 12-year old who wrote this?"

That was the entirety of the reivew, LOL! I guess it wasn't to their taste.

I sometimes get asked by my family, "Why isn't your book on the tv? They should make a film out of it."

Yes, like the million other scripts they get sent every year  They seem to think that you just have to give it to the production company and you'll have an instant programme. It doesn't work like that


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## Jan Hurst-Nicholson (Aug 25, 2010)

I once had someone say, "I need to make some money fast. I think I'll take up writing. What's the best thing to write?" I was tempted to reply, "Begging letters," but thought it might sound a bit cruel  .


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## Doglover (Sep 19, 2013)

Jan Hurst-Nicholson said:


> I once had someone say, "I need to make some money fast. I think I'll take up writing. What's the best thing to write?" I was tempted to reply, "Begging letters," but thought it might sound a bit cruel .


I get an awful lot of those, begging letters I mean. I get them from the Power companies, the telephone company, the tv licencing and even the water board. Anyone would think I had one the lottery! 

I really think you should have said it though. People who think writing is easy make me as angry as people who think dogs come ready trained.


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## AltMe (May 18, 2015)

Doglover said:


> as people who think dogs come ready trained.


Dogs don't come ready trained ?


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## Doglover (Sep 19, 2013)

TimothyEllis said:


> Dogs don't come ready trained ?


Until recently I had two giant dogs, each about the size of a small Shetland pony, who would walk on leashes one each side of me. Some really smart people would ask me 'don't they pull you over?' When told they don't pull they would invariably reply: 'that's lucky.' No, they don't come ready trained. Diva pulled flat on my face the first time I put a lead on her; she was three and had never been out on a lead. There was even a woman on tv once who called in Victoria Stilwell because her three year old little dog was messing all over the house. She had never tried to housetrain him because she thought he would work it out for himself!


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