# A Mouthful of Chuckles 'sits well alongside those of Roger McGough'



## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*Helen laycock | Children's Author
http://helenlaycock.wix.com/helen-laycock*​


*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.16 Paperback: £5.77
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.13 Paperback: $14.55

*Health Warning! 
Kids, don't read this with your mouth full... You may choke on a chipolata!

This is a rib-tickling book of rhyming children's poetry with illustrations, to be enjoyed over and over again by school children, teachers, parents and grandparents. And your pets if they're interested!*​

            ​
                    ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*5**

*~I really enjoyed this selection of poems. It has something for everyone from a mum's frustrations with "Milly Dean" to a well remembered fascination with scabs in "School Trip". I too had a "Chewer" and can really empathise with "Making a meal of it". This is a poetry book to enjoy again and again. It sits well alongside those of Roger McGough*

*4**

*~I love this book! Helen has a lovely way of writing, and the rhythms in the poems are infectious. I love the glass eye, the mouse curled asleep in the trainer, and much more. Please write some funny poems for grown-ups too* .


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Helen,

Welcome again to the Book Bazaar and congratulations on your new book![br][br]KBoards is a Kindle fan and reader forum. As you browse KBoards, keep in mind that *self-promotion, of any sort, is ONLY allowed in the Book Bazaar*. (You've posted your book thread in the right place; this is just our standard welcome that we place in all book threads. ) [br][br]A brief recap of our rules follows: [br][br]*--Please bookmark this thread (using your browser's bookmark/favorite function) so you can update it as we ask that authors have only one thread per book and add to it when there is more information.* You may start a separate thread for each book (or you may have one thread per series of books, or one thread for all of your books, it's your choice). [br][br]--We invite you to use your book cover as your avatar and have links to your book and website in your signature. Instructions are posted here [br][br]--While you may respond to member posts to your thread at any time, *you may only bump your thread (back-to-back posts by you) once every seven days*. Once you've responded to a member, that resets the clock to zero and you must wait seven days to post, unless another member posts before then. You may modify the latest post to reflect new information. [br][br]--We ask that Amazon reviews not be repeated here as they are easy to find at your book link. Also, full reviews from other sites should not be posted here, but you may post a short blurb and a link to the full review instead. [br][br]--Although *self-promotion is limited to the Book Bazaar*, our most successful authors have found the best way to promote their books is to be as active throughout KBoards as time allows. This is your target audience--book lovers with Kindles! Please note that putting link information in the body of your posts outside the Book Bazaar constitutes self promotion; please leave your links for your profile signature that will automatically appear on each post. For information on more ways to promote here on KBoards, be sure to check out this thread: Authors: KBoards Tips & FAQ. [br][br]All this, and more, is included in our Forum Decorum: http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,36.0.html. Be sure to check it from time to time for the current guidelines and rules. [br][br]Thanks for being part of KBoards! Feel free to send us a PM if you have any questions. [br][br]Betsy & Ann [br]Book Bazaar Moderators


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.16 Paperback: £5.77
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.13 Paperback: $14.55

*Health Warning! 
Kids, don't read this with your mouth full... You may choke on a chipolata!

This is a rib-tickling book of rhyming children's poetry with illustrations, to be enjoyed over and over again by school children, teachers, parents and grandparents. And your pets if they're interested!*​
                    ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles Kindle: £3.16 Paperback:£5.77*

*A Mouthful of Chuckles Kindle:$5.13 Paperback:$14.55 *

*'sits well alongside those of Roger McGough'*

*Here's an example of what's inside:
*

*A Lucky Escape

When Tommy brought his mouse to school, he hid it in his bag.
It nibbled through his lunchbox which was something of a snag.

It ate his history homework on the Romans and their ways
and dropped pellets in his trainers (the effect of eating maize).

Tommy checked his bag at break, as soon as he was able -- 
Monty'd gone AWOL to see the sights of Miss Tate's table.

Tommy looked round in despair. This would have to stop...
when a splash came from her coffee cup as Monty vanished -- PLOP!

In he delved, fished Monty out, who slipped out of his grasp,
and lapped the room in record time, while Tom could only gasp.

It sharpened teeth upon the legs of wobbly classroom chairs
and rubbed its back on peeling pipes, depositing damp hairs,

it jumped around the children's trays, all stacked inside a case,
and, having gnawed and pooped on things, stopped to wash its face.

Then in Miss marched in quiet talk with two unknown smart women,
her hand outstretched towards her mug where Monty had been swimming.

'No!' Tom yelled and dived across her desk--he must protect her--
while coffee laced with hair and poop sloshed over one inspector.

She shrieked as cooling caffeine ran down her neck at pace
and Tommy felt a reddening covering his face.

'A mouse!' the other shouted, pointing at the floor,
as Monty made a run for it and headed for the door.

Tommy saw his chance, a way to put him in their favour,
as he threw himself across the floor and caught the little raver.

He bundled him inside his bag -- the ladies were so grateful:
the day's inspection had turned out to be not quite as fateful.

At last Tommy felt justified to proudly lift his head
and when he looked inside his trainer, Monty'd put himself to bed.



*
Copyright - Helen Laycock
No copying without permission​
*Also available by Helen Laycock:
~ Eight mystery/adventure books for children
~ Two short story anthologies for adults
~ A collection of humorous poetry for adults*​
*Keep a lookout for relevant threads*​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.16 Paperback: £5.77
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.13 Paperback: $14.55

                    ​*Poetry for children.*

*It does what it says on the tin...*​
                    ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

​


*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.16 Paperback: £5.77
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.13 Paperback: $14.55

*Health Warning! 
Kids, don't read this with your mouth full... You may choke on a chipolata!

This is a rib-tickling book of rhyming children's poetry with illustrations, to be enjoyed over and over again by school children, teachers, parents and grandparents. And your pets if they're interested!*​
                    ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*POETRY FOR CHILDREN*​
*[size=14pt]A Mouthful of Chuckles Kindle: £3.16 Paperback:£5.77*​http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00NN2FF9S/?tag=kb1-21

*A Mouthful of Chuckles Kindle:$5.13 Paperback:$14.55 *​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles*

*Now you see it. Now you don't... unless you've bought a copy*​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

​
*'This is a poetry book to enjoy again and again. It sits well alongside those of Roger McGough*.'​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles*​
​
*A 5* collection of humorous verse for children*​
*£3.16 / $5.13*


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

​
*SMILE*

*It's ** A Mouthful of Chuckles*​ *£3.16*​
       ​
*Poetry success:

1st prize in the David St John Thomas Writing Awards for Novice Poetry (Under 55), May 2006
Shortlisted for Moon Poetry, Writing Magazine, January 2008
Shortlisted for Humorous Poetry, Writing Magazine, August 2009
Shortlisted for Last Line Poetry, Writers' News, August 2009
Shortlisted for Street Life Poetry, Writing Magazine, September 2009
Shortlisted for Generation Gap Poetry, Writers' News, February 2011
Shortlisted for Humour Verse Competition, Flash 500, July 2011
Shortlisted for Humorous Poetry , Writing Magazine, October 2011
Longlisted for Humour Verse Competition, Flash 500, July 2012
Shortlisted for Horror Poetry Competition, Writing Magazine, October 2012 
Runner up in Songs of Angels Competition, Thynks Publications, June 2013
Shortlisted for Shadows Poetry Competition, Writers' News, August 2013
Shortlisted, plus Honourable Mention for Humour Verse Competition, Flash 500, July 2013*

I am also the author of eleven other books, nine of which are children's fiction.​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.16 Paperback: £5.77
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.13 Paperback: $14.55

*Health Warning! 
Kids, don't read this with your mouth full... You may choke on a chipolata!

This is a rib-tickling book of rhyming children's poetry with illustrations, to be enjoyed over and over again by school children, teachers, parents and grandparents. And your pets if they're interested!*​
                    ​
*There are twelve books by Helen Laycock available - 
eight full-length mystery/adventure books for readers aged 7 - 12
a poetry anthology for readers aged 7 - 12
two short story collections for adults
a collection of humorous poetry for adults*​
~Click on the links to take you to my Author Page, Facebook or Twitter~​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles*​
​
*A 5* collection of humorous verse for children*​
*£3.16 / $5.13*


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.16 Paperback: £5.77
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.13 Paperback: $14.55

*Health Warning! 
Kids, don't read this with your mouth full... You may choke on a chipolata!

This is a rib-tickling book of rhyming children's poetry with illustrations, to be enjoyed over and over again by school children, teachers, parents and grandparents. And your pets if they're interested!*​
                    ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.16 Paperback: £5.77
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.13 Paperback: $14.55

*Health Warning! 
Kids, don't read this with your mouth full... You may choke on a chipolata!

This is a rib-tickling book of rhyming children's poetry with illustrations, to be enjoyed over and over again by school children, teachers, parents and grandparents. And your pets if they're interested!*​
                    ​
*Since the last post, I have enjoyed two further successes in writing poetry for children:

1st place in "The Aspiring Writers Poetry Competition" yearly anthology, August 2013 with 'Ready, Steady, Go!'

Shortlisted for Poetry for Children Competition, Writers' News, November 2013 with 'Snack Attack'*​
                    ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles*​
​
*A 5* collection of humorous verse for children*​
*£3.16 / $5.13*


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

​
*'This is a poetry book to enjoy again and again. It sits well alongside those of Roger McGough.'*​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles* *is much better for your children's teeth than a mouthful of toffees. Don't you agree?*

                                                           ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*5**

*~I really enjoyed this selection of poems. It has something for everyone from a mum's frustrations with "Milly Dean" to a well remembered fascination with scabs in "School Trip". I too had a "Chewer" and can really empathise with "Making a meal of it". This is a poetry book to enjoy again and again. It sits well alongside those of Roger McGough*

*4**

*~I love this book! Helen has a lovely way of writing, and the rhythms in the poems are infectious. I love the glass eye, the mouse curled asleep in the trainer, and much more. Please write some funny poems for grown-ups* too* .

** I did, by the way -* *A Bellyful of Laughs*


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.16 Paperback: £5.77
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.13 Paperback: $14.55

*Health Warning! 
Kids, don't read this with your mouth full... You may choke on a chipolata!

This is a rib-tickling book of rhyming children's poetry with illustrations, to be enjoyed over and over again by school children, teachers, parents and grandparents. And your pets if they're interested!*​
                    ​
*Gobble it up while it's going cheap!*​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*Peeping

There's a hole in my sock.
I can see my big toe.
Now he's got a window 
To see where to go.*​
Copyright - Helen Laycock
No copying without permission​     ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

​
*OK, Kids... time to stop stuffing your mouth with sweets.

Fill it with some funny poetry instead.*
​   ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.16 Paperback: £5.77
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.13 Paperback: $14.55

                    ​
*Poetry for children.*

*Lots of rhymes and lots of fun*​
                    ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*You'll like these.

Your children will like these.

Heck, even the dog will smile...*



*A Mouthful of Chuckles*

       ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

Have some fun with your children...

*A Mouthful of Chuckles*​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.16 Paperback: £5.77
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.13 Paperback: $14.55

*Health Warning! 
Kids, don't read this with your mouth full... You may choke on a chipolata!

This is a rib-tickling book of rhyming children's poetry with illustrations, to be enjoyed over and over again by school children, teachers, parents and grandparents. And your pets if they're interested!*​
                    ​


----------



## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.16 Paperback: £5.77
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.13 Paperback: $14.55

*Health Warning! 
Kids, don't read this with your mouth full... You may choke on a chipolata!

This is a rib-tickling book of rhyming children's poetry with illustrations, to be enjoyed over and over again by school children, teachers, parents and grandparents. And your pets if they're interested!*​
                    ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

​
*New look
New book

This is an updated version of [size=14pt]A Mouthful of Chuckleshttp://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00NN2FF9S/?tag=kb1-21

with an even bigger bumper selection of fun poetry for children.

A Mouthful of Chuckles is available as a kindle (£3.16 / $5.13) or a paperback (£5.77 / $14.55) edition.[/size]*​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*You'll like these.

Your children will like these.

Heck, even the dog will smile...*



*A Mouthful of Chuckles*

       ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

Here's the first verse of Weird Beard:

[size=14pt]Boris, 'twas said, was a hundred years old
with a beard right down to his feet.
Amassed in the hair
was all manner of fare
he'd spilled while attempting to eat.​​
Copyright - Helen Laycock
No copying without permission​
For lots more fun poetry for children, have a look at my illustrated collection: *A Mouthful of Chuckles*

​
Kindle: *£3.16 $5.05*
Paperback: *£6.11 $14.25
*​
I am also the author of eight mystery/adventures for children. Details of all my full-length fiction, plus short story collections for adults, are available on my Author Page: *http://www.amazon.co.uk/Helen-Laycock/e/B006PGFVL6*


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles*

*Now you see it. Now you don't... unless you've bought a copy
Kindle: £3.16 or $5.08
Paperback: £5.75 or $14.67 *​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles*​
​
*A 5* collection of humorous verse for children with coloured illustrations*​
* KINDLE: £3.16 / $5.08 PAPERBACK: £5.75 / $14.67*


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*
Funny poems, eh?

You'll like these.

Your children will like these.

Heck, even the dog will smile...

Oh, and that wasn't a poem... just saying.*



*A Mouthful of Chuckles*

       ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*Snack Attack*

At the bottom of the garden,
Where no one ever goes,
Is a troll that's green and hairy
With a bulbous, warty nose.

He feasts on rotting compost
And drinks from dirty puddles.
Through the thorns you'll catch a glimpse
Where in a hunch he huddles.

His tongue unrolls and ladybirds
Stick to it like glue.
He snatches butterflies and moths,
The odd grasshopper too.

His nails are thick, his hands are big,
His fist is like a stone.
He punches through the branches
And grabs anything alone.

When the sun dips down at night,
Is that the wind that moans?
Is that a badger rustling leaves,
Or the troll crunching on bones . . .?​
Copyright - Helen Laycock
No copying without permission​
(shortlisted in the Writing Poetry for Children competition - Writing Magazine)​
from *A Mouthful of Chuckles*

​
Kindle: £3.68 / $5.61

Paperback: £7.50 / $16.50​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.68 Paperback: £7.50
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.56 Paperback: $16.50

*Health Warning! 
Kids, don't read this with your mouth full... You may choke on a chipolata!

This is a rib-tickling book of rhyming children's poetry with illustrations, to be enjoyed over and over again by school children, teachers, parents and grandparents. And your pets if they're interested!*​
                    ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*Helen Laycock | Children's Author
http://helenlaycock.wix.com/helen-laycock*​
*Weird Beard

Boris, 'twas said, was a hundred years old
with a beard right down to his feet.
Amassed in the hair
was all manner of fare
he'd spilled while attempting to eat.

Boris had oathed to dispose of all clothes --
his beard made a wonderful cloak.
It tickled a bit
and was awkward to sit
and muffled his voice when he spoke.

Often Boris would slip as his beard made him trip
or entangled itself in his toes.
Reluctant to trim it
or set a length limit,
he'd left it to grow and to grow.

The day did not come of a hundred and one,
the story is sad to be told...
for Boris got trapped.
In his beard he was wrapped
and cocooned there until he turned cold.
*​
Copyright - Helen Laycock
No copying without permission​
From *A Mouthful of Chuckles*

            ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

​


*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.16 Paperback: £5.77
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.13 Paperback: $14.55

*Health Warning! 
Kids, don't read this with your mouth full... You may choke on a chipolata!

This is a rib-tickling book of rhyming children's poetry with illustrations, to be enjoyed over and over again by school children, teachers, parents and grandparents. And your pets if they're interested!*​
                    ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*Helen Laycock | Children's Author
http://helenlaycock.wix.com/helen-laycock*​
*Weird Beard

Boris, 'twas said, was a hundred years old
with a beard right down to his feet.
Amassed in the hair
was all manner of fare
he'd spilled while attempting to eat.

Boris had oathed to dispose of all clothes --
his beard made a wonderful cloak.
It tickled a bit
and was awkward to sit
and muffled his voice when he spoke.

Often Boris would slip as his beard made him trip
or entangled itself in his toes.
Reluctant to trim it
or set a length limit,
he'd left it to grow and to grow.

The day did not come of a hundred and one,
the story is sad to be told...
for Boris got trapped.
In his beard he was wrapped
and cocooned there until he turned cold.
*​
Copyright - Helen Laycock
No copying without permission​
From *A Mouthful of Chuckles*

            ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

​


*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: £3.16 Paperback: £5.77
*A Mouthful of Chuckles* Kindle: $5.13 Paperback: $14.55

*Health Warning! 
Kids, don't read this with your mouth full... You may choke on a chipolata!

This is a rib-tickling book of rhyming children's poetry with illustrations, to be enjoyed over and over again by school children, teachers, parents and grandparents. And your pets if they're interested!*​
                    ​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

​
*SMILE*

*It's ** A Mouthful of Chuckles*​ *£3.16*​
       ​
*Thank you to Ellie Firestone for my Author Interview which has gone 'live' this week. You can read it on Ellie's blog :
*
http://www.elliefirestone.com/2015/10/an-interview-with-author-helen-laycock.html​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

Until 25th November, I shall be a Featured Author on Goodreads.

If you would like to ask any questions about my writing/books, you would be very welcome to drop in to the discussion here:

https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/17611570-featured-author-discussion---helen-laycock---nov-12-25


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

*A Mouthful of Chuckles*​*#195 in Kindle Store > Books > Children's eBooks > Early Learning > Poetry*



For more about my children's books, please visit:

Helen Laycock | Children's Author
http://helenlaycock.wix.com/helen-laycock

            
​


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## Helen Laycock (Apr 10, 2012)

A couple of my poems were recently published on Spilling Coffee Over Martin Amis:

http://www.spillingcocoa.com/faux-pas-by-helen-laycock/

http://www.spillingcocoa.com/tackling-the-issue-by-helen-laycock/

NB, these are NOT children's poems!!


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