# White Lies & Custard Creams - romantic comedy; pics in thread



## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Right - I think I know what I'm doing here now (looks over shoulder as these words are usually fatal) - so I'm going to leap in and put up a thread for my book, '*White Lies and Custard Creams*' - and hope I'm doing it right, in the right place and at the right time. And everything else right as well...

Here's the cover art:










and the dog in the tub with Liz Houston (main protagonist) is Moocher, aka Mooch the Pooch. All my characters are, of course, fictitious, but Moocher was real. He was my first Border Collie and it's because of him I've rescued Border Collies ever since.

This is a limerick I wrote after he rather inconsiderately popped his clogs and left me with nothing but an empty basket:

Into my life one day a Border Collie strolled
He smelt sweetly of that in which he'd rolled
He'd come to share his life with me
And now I'll never be free
Of fox poo aroma, and love worth more than gold

Anyway - I'm not supposed to be talking about him, but about my book - it is currently in the top 10 paid in Kindle store listings in Amazon UK - and here's the blurb for it:

All Liz Houston wants is to keep her head above the financial white waters of her life. Somehow, though, other people, including ex-husband Hugh, repeatedly get in the way.

Hugh just wants a quiet life and to be there for the people he cares about. Caring for Liz does not lead to a quiet life.

Moocher, Liz's Border Collie, wants to be where all the crumbs are, he wants to keep all his paws, but most of all he wants to keep Liz company as she rides the rapids of her life.

Add in odd-shoe-wearing lodger Simon, Git-next-door, a lost brother, an illicit fortune stashed away decades ago, a trio of part-time thugs, kidnappings, a tree-climbing tortoise and a dog-flap with a story of its own, and it becomes apparent that a few white lies (and custard creams) between friends are the least of Liz's problems.

It's on Amazon UK for 97p and Amazon US for $1.57.

Jill Mansell (internationally best-selling author) said of this book: "Susan Alison has written a lovely, quirky romp packed with off-the-wall characters - original, intriguing and great fun!"

I am chuffed to say that I am the Katie Fforde Award winner for 2011. I've won competition awards for short fiction and sold numerous stories to commercial publications. My fiction concentrates on the relationships humans forge with each other (and quite often with their dogs). My day job is as a freelance artist - mainly dogs and cats, being largely under the paw, as I am.

Right - on to the next story...


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Welcome to KindleBoards, Susan, and congratulations on your book! 

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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Thank you, Betsy and Ann!

Having started this thread by mentioning Moocher in the first post (including limerick about fox poo!) I thought I'd put in here a tribute I wrote to him in answer to the many emails I've received about him.

He doesn't star in White Lies and Custard Creams but he is Liz's right-paw dog and she would be lost without him so he's pretty important.

*Moocher, Border Collie dog extraordinaire - co-star of White Lies and Custard Creams - romantic comedy with a dash of mystery*

I've received many emails from readers asking about Moocher, the Border Collie who co-stars with Liz Houston in my first novel, 'White Lies and Custard Creams'. So I thought I'd write a piece to try to convey what my old Mooch the Pooch meant to me. He'd always had a way with woofs and I know he will be happy to be here.










He was a stray. He just turned up one day and stayed. He knew he'd come to the right place, and I knew he'd come to the right place, too.

He had such a sense of joy about him. He was exactly the sort of dog who _would _leap up and catch snowflakes on his tongue:










And he always made a point of rolling in autumn leaves - one of life's greatest pleasures (especially if there was fox poo underneath them, of course):









He was a very clever dog. It's no wonder my paperwork's in such a mess since he's been gone. He'd be shocked...










There was always a hug waiting if I needed one:










And his live and let-live philosophy definitely taught me a thing or two!










He was a very generous dog in every way. He would have distributed bones and gravy to the world if he could:










No one could stay cross with him for long. He could wrap the most dog-hating person around his little claw in no time at all. He was such a charmer!










He was always ready for a game and would play for hours and hours just to keep me entertained:










He is always with me, just out of the corner of my eye; always there peering over my shoulder, checking I'm not making too much of a hash of things. He is the extra weight in Jeff-Dog's head as he pushes it into my hands. He makes me watch out for myself more than I previously might, and he bolsters my courage when I need it.

He was the most extraordinary dog and taught me so much about so many things. This is why Liz, my heroine in 'White Lies and Custard Creams' has to have her dog with her all the time, or at least know he's around and she can see him if she needs to. She needs him to keep going through life, no matter what, trying to make sense of it. And together they will make it through, even if not wildly successfully, at least always with a laugh!

And then he left me and life really was just an empty basket, and I felt as though I'd been punched with a big spike that took all my breath and gave nothing back.

This was when I was first introduced to the Rainbow Bridge. Someone sent me the poem which I shall paste in below for anyone who's not read it. It is comforting. I'd always known Moocher would be there for me, wherever I was, in whatever plane, but with the Rainbow Bridge there is a 'real' picture in my mind which makes it so much more certain.

So - I know that Moocher is waiting for me at Rainbow Bridge (along with quite a few others).










In the meantime, I and others often howl tributes to absent friends and I could swear I can hear Moocher joining in:










If you have any more questions do feel free to get in touch and I shall answer them when I'm not bawling my eyes out like I am now. Jeff-Dog is pressing his head heavily into my leg as I sit at my desk, and Moocher watches us, grinning his furry face off, knowing we know he's there.

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...​


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Thought I'd put in a snippet of White Lies and Custard Creams - this snippet applies to the front cover art of Moocher and Liz in the bath....









"Look, I'll tell you what," Liz whispered. "While the black furry animal over there thinks we're all engrossed talking about Lydia and Simon and Lydia's thwarted attempts to get Simon for her next toy boy, let's all get ready to pounce on him and get him in the bath. Okay? Moocher, that is, not Simon."

"Oh," Melanie said. "I wondered why you were whispering then."

"Well, let's stop whispering now or he'll realise something's going on. Don't look at him!"

"Oh, sorry. Okay, where were we? Um, oh, yeah, talking about Lydia, um&#8230;" Melanie casually rolled up her sleeves in readiness. Clever girl. She'd got the drift. Whereas Simon just stood there still looking startled, still a deep pink.

"Okay, Simon, ready to grab black furry animal?"

He nodded, too frightened to look around.

"Okay, now listen," Liz said. "I'll grab him around the head and shoulders, you two get his rear end. Actually it's best if one of you, Melanie you do it, get his rear end especially making sure you have one leg and Simon you just make sure you keep his other hind leg close in to his body, whilst supporting his middle. We'll just lift him straight up, move over a little and then straight down into the bath. Okay, I won't count because Moocher can count, you know. He's sooo clever, that dog. I'll just say, 'here we go', Okay?"

Her co-conspirators nodded, looking grim. There was a short uneasy silence in the bathroom. They could hear a car pulling up, handbrake going on, door opening and slamming. They could hear a fly thud into the window and start to whine about it. They could hear an aeroplane in the distance flying off to some white sanded shore where people wouldn't dream of cutting off other people's fingers or kidnapping dogs and terrorising them with threats of torture.

Very quietly, Liz said, "Here we go." And they all pounced on that poor, unsuspecting dog who'd been nodding off into a doze. He didn't stand a chance, not against the combined deviousness of three human beings. Ha!

All that happened was that after they got him airborne, all four of his legs suddenly, as though responding to some mechanical instruction, stuck out at the corners of his body and effectively stopped him from being lowered into the bath. He became as rigid as a Victorian wardrobe - he wasn't going anywhere. However, in the ensuing struggle through which Moocher whiffled and snuffled, occasionally letting out a single delighted 'woof', Simon fell into the end of the bath; Melanie skinned her elbow on the wall and Liz managed to smack into the bathroom cabinet so hard it threw itself, plus all its contents, into the bath to join Simon. To add insult to injury Liz also managed to snag herself in the shower curtain which, with a gigantic unzipping sound, ripped itself from its restraints and landed in the bath too.

Enough was enough. She helped Simon out, produced some antiseptic cream and a plaster for Melanie, scooped out various chemistry products from the bath, rather unwisely tore the shower curtain out which seemed to bring with it half the water, put on the taps to top it up and got in the bath herself.

"Moocher, come here. Good dog," she said in a wheedling, let's-have-fun voice.

He looked all around as if to say, "Well, why didn't we do it like this from the start? If only I'd known what you wanted." And he jumped in to join her. Easy. Any dog was only too delighted to join their owner in the bath if they're asked in the right way. Liz reached for the very expensive special dog shampoo and, removing the cap, poured a good handful in to her palm.

That was when the front door bell rang and Moocher, who always felt obliged to welcome people into the house properly, if he was awake, leapt out of the bath. The shampoo landed on the bathroom floor and proceeded to leak away into the carpet. Liz was left, fully clothed, sitting in a rapidly cooling bath with no dog to wash. This wasn't quite the plan.


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

This is one of my favorite reviews from the Amazon.co.uk page for White Lies and Custard Creams - (made me laugh):

Light, fluffy and fun, think Pratchett with great observational humour, warm characters, but no wizards or any of that fantasy stuff  ... But it does have dogs. I've found some of the other reviews on here puzzling - clearly some people think there are things that are 'objectively' humorous, as if taste doesn't come into it. If you're the kind of person that has to have their humour delivered to them by a corpse, steer well clear. If you're looking for something original - grab this before the world all ends in 2012 and you wish you hadn't taken everything so seriously.


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Moocher co-stars in White Lies and Custard Creams - with Liz. You might have gathered...

Anyway - here he is with his Christmas jumper on - he's saying: "Everyone has a BAD Christmas sweater..... Right Right?"


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Reassurance that White Lies and Custard Creams has a happen ending.

It does have a happy ending. Oh, yes!


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

I was extremely chuffed to receive an email from a new reader who started his email by saying he was a 70-year-old male. It's so fab to know how broad the range of my readers actually is.

I don't feel I can quote his email, but luckily for me he then went on to post reviews on both my books on Amazon so I'm posting a quote here:

"This book turned out to be absolutely marvelous and extremely readable with a fabulous element of quirky observationalism (if that is a word). I enjoyed it so much that I immediately bought the next book and will await the next one with great impatience."

and:

"This is a book that I will read again and again. Thanks Susan."

You can see why I am so chuffed.

Give that fab man a box of chocolates!


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Heh - just luck that my White Lies & Custard Creams novel is on the Kindle ad page...

Here it is:










Click here for the Kindle ad page in its full glory: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Kindle-Wi-Fi-6-Ink-Display/dp/B0051QVF7A/ref=amb_link_163160447_2?pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_s=center-1&pf_rd_r=0W9Q9EWWB5BS4NSTSF4S&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=285906027&pf_rd_i=468294

Thank you, Mandy, for bringing it to my attention!!!


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

White Lies and Custard Creams is not a book to make you feel all worthy and enlightened










It's a book to entertain and maybe amuse. A light, forget-your-cares read.


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## mabelthemini (Nov 5, 2011)

Awwww I love that picture! And yes, White Lies is more of an amusing romp than a visit to an Art Gallery...but I think All his Own Hair has got touches of a visit to the Tate ...definately more 'deep'


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Thank you, mabelthemini! How kind of you to pop in. I do find some art galleries a tad too er, intense... (Gosh, I'm being polite this morning...)


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

They'd been arguing all day about which book to read for next week's meeting - should it be 'Paws 4 Thawt' or should it be 'Dog Gone'










But, of course - in the end, they chose 'White Lies and Custard Creams' by that Susan Alison Border Collie woman. Yeah!


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

We have the Olympics here this year. Although, in our case, it's the OlympiCorgi Games rather than the other sort. But we have it on good authority that, for example, Taekwondog will be going home after he's won his medal to curl up with a copy of 'White Lies and Custard Creams' by that Susan Alison person. Yeah!


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

The knitwear sisters (because knitting is thicker than blood) reckon that the romantic comedy 'White Lies and Custard Creams' is pretty good, too - go out and read it, they yowl in unison...


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Some people reckon that reading White Lies and Custard Creams is a roller coaster ride...









This does mean, of course, that some love it and some, er... hate it...

Thrills and spills and stuff....

UK Amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/White-Lies-Custard-Creams-ebook/dp/B0053D0B8A/ref=pd_sim_kinc_2

US Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/White-Lies-Custard-Creams-ebook/dp/B0053D0B8A/ref=pd_sim_kstore_5


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Gosh, I have entirely neglected this thread since August 26, 2012 - now I feel mean!

To follow on from the previous post about people either loving this book - or absolutely hating it - the news is that I'm writing a sequel for those who loved the first one. So there will be more of Liz and Moocher to come. And hopefully, those who hated the first one won't read the second, cos it's probably not a good idea. It's not a good idea, either, for those who don't like dogs to read my books. jus sayin

So, yeah, I'm working away on the next book, tentatively titled: 'Staking out the Goat'.....










UK Amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/White-Lies-Custard-Creams-ebook/dp/B0053D0B8A/ref=pd_sim_kinc_2


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## Ken Magee (Nov 17, 2011)

Wonderful illustrations.


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Thank you, Ken! It's my day job.

Oddly, I was looking at your books yesterday, and because I don't really believe in coicidence, I've just gone and bought 'Dark Tidings'. Heaven knows when it will appear on my Kindle - it's gone into the great long list of books waiting to come down next time I switch it on to receive which I daren't do just yet. I imagine if I did it would balloon up and explode with the sheer number of books I'm expecting it to hold.



Ken Magee said:


> Wonderful illustrations.


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## Ken Magee (Nov 17, 2011)

Wow... that is a coincidence. Thank you for giving Dark Tidings a go, I hope you find it fun and exciting. Please do let me know.

I think your illustrations caught my eye because we have a collie X. He's 10 years old now but still a pup at heart.


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

What a handsome chap! There's nothing quite like a Border Collie!

Here's my current BC - he's 14 and yet just as puppyish. This is him peering around the door to where I'm working at my desk - with his oy-isn't-it-time-for-something-exciting-to-happen? look.


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## Ken Magee (Nov 17, 2011)

Our dogs share that guilty look.


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Heh - it might kind-of look guilty, but actually it's a very strong hypnotic force which can make you do anything the dog wants you to do. A friend calls it the 'Collie eyes of Conviction'. Just about impossible to ignore...



Ken Magee said:


> Our dogs share that guilty look.


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Jeff-Dog says he's read 'White Lies and Custard Creams' a few times now. Isn't it time to move onto another book?

Why, yes, Jeff-Dog - funny you should say that - there's another book coming up very soon....


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Now if she read White Lies and Custard Creams that would give her a nice break from all those pups, too... jus sayin

http://www.amazon.co.uk/White-Lies-Custard-Creams-Romantic-ebook/dp/B0053D0B8A/ref=pd_sim_kinc_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=1N1N2Y883B39HEMHMZVA

http://www.amazon.com/White-Lies-Custard-Creams-Romantic-ebook/dp/B0053D0B8A/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

This pup really wishes he could stop working and start reading 'White Lies and Custard Creams'...


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Reading 'White Lies and Custard Creams' is the only thing keeping her from getting too scared at this time of year!


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Gosh, it's really windy and rainy and gusty and grey outside... Seems like a good day for a duvet day - and for reading 'White Lies and Custard Creams' in bed...


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

Thank you, Amazon, for including 'White Lies and Custard Creams' in the '12 Days of Kindle Sale' - this means it's currently half-price!










UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0053D0B8A?keywords=White%20Lies%20and%20Custard%20Creams%20-%20A%20Romantic%20Comedy&qid=1451120440&ref_=sr_1_1&s=digital-text&sr=1-1

US: http://www.amazon.com/White-Lies-Custard-Creams-Romantic-ebook/dp/B0053D0B8A/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1451132689&sr=8-3

Happy Festive Season to you all!


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## Susan Alison (Jul 1, 2011)

They were waiting for 'White Lies and Custard Creams' to appear on the telly. (They'll have a very long wait...)


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