# Gnomes, a comedy/horror/fantasy novel



## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

GNOMES by Stuart Neild

They shout, they swear, they kill. The evil gnomes have come to life at the bottom of your garden. Meet Baby Legs, Little Giggler, Honey Pie and a host of other weird and wonderfully twisted gnomes. There's a gnome war coming with mankind trapped in the middle. No one or thing is safe. You have been warned..... 


I've finally taken the plunge and brought one of my books out on the amazon kindle for the first time. The book is called, as it says above, Gnomes, and is a comedy horror with a pretty twisted sense of humour. Or at least the gnomes have a twisted sense, and it was them who made me write it anyway, so don't blame me. 

In the pretty near future I'm hoping to bring some other new stuff out on the format, as well as some of my previously published novels.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

The links are for UK version
http://www.amazon.co.uk/GNOMES/dp/B0042P54AA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=A3TVV12T0I6NSM&s=digital-text&qid=1284503956&sr=1-1

and US version

http://www.amazon.com/GNOMES-ebook/dp/B0042P54AA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=A7B2F8DUJ88VZ&s=digital-text&qid=1284504075&sr=8-1


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Welcome to KindleBoards, Stuart, and congratulations on your book!

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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Thanks for the help guys. It's great to be here. I'm sure I'll have lots of fun on the forum.


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## keithdbz (May 19, 2010)

Hey Stuart, congrats on the release. I downloaded a sample of the book and I have to say the formatting needs help. Paragraphs are not indented and it may detract potential buyers. The good thing about the Kindle is, it's never too late to fix it. Just thought you should know.

Cheers!
Keith


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## Guest (Sep 15, 2010)

Ah, I see these are evil lawn gnomes...as opposed to tinkergnomes, forest gnomes, or other gnomish variants.  

I have an evil gnome myself.  She's a 80th level arcane mage in World of Warcraft.  FEAR THE GNOME!


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## JL Bryan (Aug 10, 2010)

Gnomes are cool.  Evil gnomes, doubly cool.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Thanks Keith, I'll look into it.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Taking on board what Keith said earlier, how do you go about updating a book on kindle? I've already reformatted and updated Gnomes for smashwords and want to do the same for the amazon kindle version. Does anybody know if I have to unpublish and then load the book up again in its new format, or is there some quick update link I can use, like the one available on smashwords? Any help on this matter would be appreciated as I see the kindle as an amazing platform.


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## JL Bryan (Aug 10, 2010)

Hi Stuart, 

This may be a little late, but go to your Bookshelf on DTP, select "Edit book details."  Then upload the new text just like you did last time.  The book will be unavailable for you to make changes for up to 2-3 days, but the old version will still be for sale in the Kindle store until the new version is there.  Your book will not become unavailable to customers at any point (unless you mess with the price!).

You don't need to select the "Unpublish" option, just the "edit book" option.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Got it sorted now. The new version of Gnomes is safely in place. Many thanks.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

And here's a code to get Gnomes a little cheaper on the smashwords site. The code is MM46G and the offer runs up to and including Halloween.


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## monkeyluis (Oct 17, 2010)

stuartneild said:


> And here's a code to get Gnomes a little cheaper on the smashwords site. The code is MM46G and the offer runs up to and including Halloween.


I used this offer just now thanks!

Look forward too it. If it sucks I'll blame it on the gnomes, if it's good I'll give you credit.  Good luck.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Top man you are. And if it's not to your tastes, I'll send you a free e-book of one of my other works.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

As an extra treat i've decided to make Halloween last that bit longer than usual. There's a new money off coupon for Gnomes at Smashwords, running this weekend. It's a big reduction, but this is the last money off deal there's going to be on this little devil, so snap your copies up now. The code is SD45U

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/23968


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## cshenold (May 6, 2010)

Sounds right up my alley. Will have to add it to my weird collection, gnomes, zombies and all other critters. Fun stuff. Good luck with the Kindl edition.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Thanks. I love reading and writing the weird stuff, as well as Gnomes I've also got Giant Killer Eels and Dame Demise, now all out on amazon kindle and smashwords. And hopefully I should be getting round to writing the next Gnomes book soon.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Gnomes has just got a five star review on Goodreads.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9686431-gnomes


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

I'm pleased to announce I'll be writing a follow up to Gnomes next year. I can't say too much yet, but hopefully fans of the first book will love it.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Gnomes has now shot up to the top half of the Parodies & Satires chart in the UK Kindle chart. Thanks for the support.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

And it's still hanging in there.


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## MarkPaulJacobs (Jan 21, 2011)

Yikes! These are lit'l nightmares.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

People keep telling me the little fellas are just heaven sent for the merchandise market.


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## MarkPaulJacobs (Jan 21, 2011)

Especially the little, old-man garden types with the Santa (Father Christmas) beards.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

I've always thought gnomes were creepy little things.


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## MarkPaulJacobs (Jan 21, 2011)

Sounds like you're getting some great reviews for this! Keep up the good work.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Yes, it seems to be doing really well on the UK Kindle scene. It's in the top 20 for horror on UK Amazon charts.


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## MarkPaulJacobs (Jan 21, 2011)

Excellent job on you book covers, stuart. Do you create then yourself?


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

No, I have a film writer/actor/director/producer friend that did the covers for Gnomes, Dame Demise and Giant Killer Eels.


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## MarkPaulJacobs (Jan 21, 2011)

This one is one my 'must read' list.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Thanks for the support Mark, it means a lot. Especially from a writer as talented as your goodself.


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## MarkPaulJacobs (Jan 21, 2011)

You are much to kind, sir. I will post a review for 'Jack'.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Thanks Mark.


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## velicion (Sep 22, 2010)

Gnomes is the next Stuart Neild book I intend to purchase.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

You are a very fine gentleman Sir.


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## BarbaraSilkstone (Feb 18, 2010)

Stuart,
It definitely sounds as if you have created a pack of Chuckies.

Good luck!


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Thanks Barbara.


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## Christopher Beck (Jan 24, 2011)

Looks like another fine read. I only wish I had more time for reading, my to-be-read pile is quite tall. That's OK though, I'll just keep adding to it.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

I'm exactly the same Christopher.


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## Christopher Beck (Jan 24, 2011)

I think I have about 60 printed books on the self waiting to be read and now I'm getting e-books from the likes of you and Ian and Willie, and so forth and so on.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

I know what you mean. The good thing about Kindle though, at least my house won't be completly full of books. Only half full with the ones I've got.


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## davejeffery (Sep 14, 2010)

A horror comedy classic ...


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)




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## Christopher Beck (Jan 24, 2011)

My book collection use to drive my ex-wife crazy.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

My first wife had a unique way of sorting out book over crowding. She sold most of my collection within a week of us splitting up.


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## Christopher Beck (Jan 24, 2011)

Thankfully my wife let me keep the collection there, undisturbed, until I got settled somewhere else. I would have gone nuts if she did anything with them.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Still, I had the fun of re-building my collection.


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## Christopher Beck (Jan 24, 2011)

It's funny... I saw my wife last night, 1st time since last June.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)




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## MarkPaulJacobs (Jan 21, 2011)

ouch!


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

At least that's one good thing about kindle. If you've got all your books stored on there, your collection is pretty safe.


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## Christopher Beck (Jan 24, 2011)

Very true, Stuart. I still like holding a book, though. Then I like finding new, awesome reads on the Kindle, too.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

I bought the leather cover with the light for my kindle, and it does make the whole experience more like reading an actual book.


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## velicion (Sep 22, 2010)

Look what I've found.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pfc2vnPsOUY


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Yep, it's the brand new promo for GNOMES, now live at You Tube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pfc2vnPsOUY


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## William Meikle (Apr 19, 2010)

stuartneild said:


> Yep, it's the brand new promo for GNOMES, now live at You Tube
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pfc2vnPsOUY


That wee guy is really scary. I love it.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

I might have to do a few more promo vids methinks.


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## Christopher Beck (Jan 24, 2011)

I just watched it. Pretty damn cool, I say.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Thanks Christopher.


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## Christopher Beck (Jan 24, 2011)

My niece and I were talking a few months ago about doing promo videos. Have you've done any others?


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Just ones for Gnomes and Giant Killer Eels, although I'm hoping to do some more.


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## Christopher Beck (Jan 24, 2011)

I would say they have to be helpful with the numbers.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

I don't think they've made a massive difference just yet, but every little extra push helps.


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## Christopher Beck (Jan 24, 2011)

That it does. And who knows, in time they might help a lot.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

As long as stuff is out there, it stands a chance of getting noticed.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Have you started work on any promo videos yet Christopher? I'm now thinking of doing more videos for Gnomes. Maybe a series of them introducing a few of the Gnome characters like Baby Legs, Honey Pie, Sweet Cheeks, Little Giggler, Brown, Bush and Blair.


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## Christopher Beck (Jan 24, 2011)

Sounds like you've got a nice little plan there. I have talked with my niece about doing some but we've yet to make any yet. A few different thinks popped up and put me a little behind on my writings and all. It's all good, though.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Gnomes is now back in the higher reaches of the UK kindle charts. At this moment in time number 7 in parodies and satires, number 57 in occult and in the top 100 for horror.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0042P54AA/ref=s9_simh_gw_p351_d1_i5?pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=1G2XNHYF5ZPF2GWMFMN5&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=467128533&pf_rd_i=468294


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## Christopher Beck (Jan 24, 2011)

stuartneild said:


> Gnomes is now back in the higher reaches of the UK kindle charts. At this moment in time number 7 in parodies and satires, number 57 in occult and in the top 100 for horror.
> 
> http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0042P54AA/ref=s9_simh_gw_p351_d1_i5?pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=1G2XNHYF5ZPF2GWMFMN5&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=467128533&pf_rd_i=468294


Awesome to hear. I hope it continues to climb the charts.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

For anyone that's read Gnomes, I'd love to hear from you about which of the gnome characters you liked best or even disliked.


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## stuartneild (Sep 14, 2010)

Gnomes is available for free for the next 24 hours at Amazon in the US

http://www.amazon.com/GNOMES-ebook/dp/B0042P54AA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331466009&sr=8-1

and in the UK

http://www.amazon.co.uk/GNOMES-ebook/dp/B0042P54AA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331466031&sr=8-1


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