# My son is trying so hard.... :(



## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Hi,
  Everyone has been so wonderful on this site....so I'm going to ask for some help.  My son is six years old, almost seven.  He is reading, but very slowly.  He can sound out each letter and eventually will get the word.  He really wants to be a better reader...and well we practice a lot.  The other day he came to me crying...he watched a commercial where it showed a 10 month old baby reading.  He was devestated "Mom, babies can read better than me!"  He was sobbing, kept saying how stupid he is.  He is a straight "A" student, very smart.  I feel really bad for him.  Does anyone know of a good book to help him along with reading?  
  He is so stressed out, I tell him he is reading the pace he should. His cousin who is a month older is able to read fast, so he compares himself.  He keeps doing extra school work hoping it will help him (even on the weekends).  Yikes!!!  Please help me find something to help him.  I've tried to make him feel better...but he keeps saying "Even babies read."  Ah, that stupid commercial 
                                  Thank you in advance,
                                                      Brittay


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## LaraAmber (Feb 24, 2009)

Did you tell him that commercial was fake?  No 10 month old baby is reading a book, parents are proud if they can even verbalize.

I'd probably invest in one of those electronic doohickeys that reads the book out simultaneously with him.  Do they still make speak-n-spells?  I loved playing with mine as a kid.  Also computer games.  

I think the key may be distracting him from "reading" (this is hard, I can't do it, now I'm stressing myself out) and instead just focusing on games that teach reading.  Take the stress out of it and focus on the fun.

Lara Amber


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Thank you, yes I did tell him it was fake.  I even had other family members tell him it was fake.  He just doesn't seem to think it is...he keeps talking about it.  When I tell him about how fake it is, he then goes on about his cousin.  I told him he should just take a break, and no school on weekends.  I started having him listen to actors reading books on storyonline.com (you can follow along with them when they read).  I'm doing my best to keep him away from the touchy reading subject.


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

My son had a similar problem when he was younger.  We enrolled him in Sylvan Learning Center.  He was in 7th grade at the time.  He went from reading on a 3rd grade, 5th month level to reading at a college level in about six weeks.  They let us out of our contract since he had met the goals way ahead of schedule.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

I wonder if you should have him tested for a reading disorder. like dislexia.  Or maybe he's just not seeing well.  If it's hard to make out the letters it's hard to see the words. . . .maybe have his eyes checked.  As for teaching method. . .I'm a fan of phonics!

Ann


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## Maxx (Feb 24, 2009)

You know I think most kids even out by 3rd or 4th grade.  My son was an average reader in 1st grade.  Probably at the bottom of the average group.  By the time he was in 4th grade he was a fantastic reader and now he enjoys reading and loves nothing better (except computer games)  then reading a really good long fantasy novel.  He is 13.  So don't worry too much and I definitely think reading to him helps a lot.  

With my daughter, reading funny books really helped.  She loved Junie B Jones when she was in 1st/2nd grade.  I  started out reading them to her and later she read them to herself.

My son loved Captain Underpants at that age.  They are very funny.

My best advice is to make it fun.  The fact that he wants to read well and is motivated is good.  I just hope he doesn't get too down on himself.

Maxx


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

Hooked on Phonics has been around forever but it works great! My son is about the same age as yours and loves his Jumpstart Learning Adventures computer game. We also have several LeapFrog Phonics videos (don't know if they still make them). Also a a LeapPad is a great tool to help him learn to read. 

My son struggles with reading as well because he severe Amblyopia in his left eye. He has to wear an eye patch for 6 hours a day over his "good" eye to help train his poor eye. He has to use a magnifying glass (4x magnification) so that he can see the words well enough to read. When patch time is over, we have reading time in the afternoon, but it's slow going.


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## rho (Feb 12, 2009)

is there something that he is interested in that you can find books geared to kids to get about that subject -- or is there a way to make it a game for him - or can you get the computer things they have for kids - I think some of them are reading based and are made into games -


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

I tried hooked on phonics last year, didn't have great results.  I do want to try the Adventure game though...it sounds fun   Thanks!


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Thank you, so many great ideas.  He loves science....so maybe I'll get him more science books too.


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

Definitely have the eyes checked.  I remember my daughter came home from school and said that Adam, a little boy in her class, was mad at her.  When I asked why she replied that she blocked his view of the board when she went up front to read it.  I inquired why she was getting out of her seat to read the board.  Needless to say, I had her at the eye doctor the next day.


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## PJ (Feb 25, 2009)

Maybe using flash cards can help too.  You really begin to build reading speed when you have more "sight" words in your vocabulary.  Then those words will become "his", and he doesn't need to slow down to sound them out.  Since he is good in other areas of school he may be very good at memorization and get more success that way.


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## BrassMan (Dec 8, 2008)

First, yes, get an eye exam. Poor kid! You've had some good advice here, especially about letting him read what he WANTS to read. That's critical. You can read with him, too, sharing the task, and following the words with a finger. I've never been a fan of phonics, if that's what he's been taught. We used flash cards with our daughters. They learned to recognize whole words on sight, before they even knew what the letters "said." Over time, they figured that out for themselves (just like kids learn to talk). 

There's a good book on this: How To Teach Your Baby to Read, by Glen Doman, probably not out for Kindle. There'll be all sorts of stuff sold to go with it, but you can make your own cards, and you should: names of friends, pets, activities he enjoys. Let him "write" his own story, illustrate it, and then keep it to read. Flash cards can be used like a game, for fun. He shouldn't ever feel he's letting anyone down. My doctoral dissertation was on this stuff. Let him decide what to read, and then help him read it. Best to you both!


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

I have to echo the getting his eyes checked. We had no idea my son had an eye problem. He went to the Dr last year and said the eye chart was blurry when testing his left eye. We discovered he had perfect vision in his right eye and 20/400 in his left. He has perfect vision when using both eyes as well. You'd never know just by watching him run around.


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## Forster (Mar 9, 2009)

He's this stressed about school work/reading and he's only 6, wow.

Tell him I was still reading Dick and Jane books at that age.  See Spot, see Spot run.  Run Spot run...........


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Great ideas, I just had his eyes checked 5 months ago.  He has 20/20 vision   I will check that book out too   Thank you!!


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Forster said:


> He's this stressed about school work/reading and he's only 6, wow.
> 
> Tell him I was still reading Dick and Jane books at that age. See Spot, see Spot run. Run Spot run...........


My mom said I was the same way. Horrible that he is already stressed out at age 6


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Lots of hugs and encourage him in activities he thinks he's good at!

Also, please have him tested for dyslexia or other issue, including vision problems.  Early detection is key for successfully dealing with these issues.  You can probably have him tested through the school system, even if you are home schooling.  Our granddaughter has gotten tested through the school system even though she doesn't attend.

Betsy


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## PJ (Feb 25, 2009)

I remember being frustrated with phonics too.  In fact I still am to this day.  But being that I wasn't one to follow rules I thought were silly I just ditched the phonics and memorized.  I never really had a problem learing to read that way.  I think you just have to go with the way a kid learns best.


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## Mom of 4 (Oct 27, 2008)

Have you watched the Leap Frog dvd's?
My kids LOVE "The Letter Factory", then there is "Talking Words Factory".

One son was really struggling with recognizing his letters and sounds, then, watched The LetterFactory a few times and...BAM!
Very fun and cute, and the kids really learn!


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## Googlegirl (Mar 4, 2009)

I did alot of research into dyslexia for my middle 2 kids when they had problems reading. 
Dyslexics have a hard time reading because they can't sound out words by individual letters. They see the word as a whole and assign in their brain a picture that corresponds to that word. For example, Cat is a picture of a cat. Most people sound it out phonetically- c= kuh, a=aah, t= tuh; c-a-t. 
Dyslexics have a hard time with joining or determining words like- the, and, a, that, etc.

There is a really good book that explains all this and how you can help you child learn to read WELL in spite of being dyslexic. 
Here it is: http://www.amazon.com/Gift-Dyslexia-Ronald-D-Davis/dp/039952293X/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b


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## Sariy (Jan 18, 2009)

Give me a couple of days and I'll email you a ton of information to help him at home with.  I just need to hunt it all down and get it all on the computer.


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## kim (Nov 20, 2008)

Don't forget to give him something easy for him to read once in a while (not always something challenging).  This will reinforce the skills he has and help his self confidence.  

No kid that age should be stressed about this, but I do think it's pretty cool that he is so motivated.

I like the learning center idea.  Maybe some one on one attention could help find what is causing his struggles.


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)




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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

My son is a perfectionist and is very smart. He wouldn't write or read for teachers until he could do it perfectly. He had to have everything organized and put away in his room. Sorted his legos by size and color. Needless to say, he stayed stressed until about the 2nd grade. He had a slight speech problem and I had him in speech therapy. Only had to do it for about 6 months. After that he took off and things got easier. He is still a perfectionist at 34, but in a good way.

Finding ways to make it fun is the key. Also, do have him tested for dyslexia. My 16 year old grandson was struggling until 2nd grade with reading. They tested him at school and said he was just slower to learn and talked my daughter into holding him back a year. He has a summer birthday and they said that he was just young. Didn't help. She took him to an outside test facility and he did have dyslexia. Once diagnosed he was able to get the right tutoring from the school and did much better. He still struggles, but knowing why helps.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Wow, great ideas.  He has a Leap Frog handheld game...he loves it and the Leap Frog pen and book.   He just got a Diji...I think its called.  He does the math games.  Maybe I should see if I can find a reading game.  He hasn't seen those DVDs though....sounds good.  I was wondering if he was dyslexic earlier this year just because he'd write his number backwards....like 23 was 32 and 14 was 41 and etc.  His doctor said he is to young to test and his school said the same thing. Usually they wait until age 8 to test.  He has another appointment with a new doctor in May....I will ask again about the testing.  My son is very motivated, but just so hard on himself.  He seems to want to be his idea of "perfect."  I tell him all the time how wonderful he is, but he just has such high expectations for himself.  Always comparing himself to others....to me he will always be perfect.


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## rho (Feb 12, 2009)

Leapfrog that was the computer game I was thinking of -- they look like they could be fun learning at your own rate.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Kathy said:


> My son is a perfectionist and is very smart. He wouldn't write or read for teachers until he could do it perfectly. He had to have everything organized and put away in his room. Sorted his legos by size and color. Needless to say, he stayed stressed until about the 2nd grade. He had a slight speech problem and I had him in speech therapy. Only had to do it for about 6 months. After that he took off and things got easier. He is still a perfectionist at 34, but in a good way.
> 
> Finding ways to make it fun is the key. Also, do have him tested for dyslexia. My 16 year old grandson was struggling until 2nd grade with reading. They tested him at school and said he was just slower to learn and talked my daughter into holding him back a year. He has a summer birthday and they said that he was just young. Didn't help. She took him to an outside test facility and he did have dyslexia. Once diagnosed he was able to get the right tutoring from the school and did much better. He still struggles, but knowing why helps.


My son is the same way....perfectionist. I never thought a six year old could be this way.


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

Neversleepsawink;) (#1071) said:


> Wow, great ideas. He has a Leap Frog handheld game...he loves it and the Leap Frog pen and book. He just got a Diji...I think its called. He does the math games. Maybe I should see if I can find a reading game. He hasn't seen those DVDs though....sounds good. I was wondering if he was dyslexic earlier this year just because he'd write his number backwards....like 23 was 32 and 14 was 41 and etc. His doctor said he is to young to test and his school said the same thing. Usually they wait until age 8 to test. He has another appointment with a new doctor in May....I will ask again about the testing. My son is very motivated, but just so hard on himself. He seems to want to be his idea of "perfect." I tell him all the time how wonderful he is, but he just has such high expectations for himself. Always comparing himself to others....to me he will always be perfect.


Dillon was 7 when he was tested at school. The problem was is there are different degrees of dyslexia. He wasn't that bad, but when you are learning to read even a little is a lot. He is almost 17 and having a hard time in high school. They took him out of the program in middle school and now he is having problems again. It takes him longer to take tests and reading math problems are hell for him. They have him a school sponsored program now that is in a separate school. There are only 6 to 8 students in the math and language classes. She is lucky that the public schools in the area she lives in has some wonderful programs. It is hard to get into, but once in they will keep them in. He is starting to feel good about himself again.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Thank you so much everyone....I really appreciate this help.  I knew I could count on all of you


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Sariy said:


> Give me a couple of days and I'll email you a ton of information to help him at home with. I just need to hunt it all down and get it all on the computer.


That would be awesome...thank you


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

Neversleepsawink;) (#1071) said:


> My son is the same way....perfectionist. I never thought a six year old could be this way.


My son kept his room so clean it was great. He was a math whiz and very athletic, but he was and is so hard on himself. He would not do anything until he could do it perfect. Sometimes that was hard to deal with. He was younger than my daughter and would watch her print her name on the lined paper. He would not write his name for his teacher until he could keep it in the lines perfectly. I was afraid he wasn't going to pass kindergarten, but when they tested him, sitting on my lap for comfort he was so far off the charts that they started helping him more. He could do everything, but was shy and had a hard time doing something in front of the other kids that he didn't think looked good. By 2nd grade he was over most of that and thrived in the gifted classes.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Kathy said:


> My son kept his room so clean it was great. He was a math whiz and very athletic, but he was and is so hard on himself. He would not do anything until he could do it perfect. Sometimes that was hard to deal with. He was younger than my daughter and would watch her print her name on the lined paper. He would not write his name for his teacher until he could keep it in the lines perfectly. I was afraid he wasn't going to pass kindergarten, but when they tested him, sitting on my lap for comfort he was so far off the charts that they started helping him more. He could do everything, but was shy and had a hard time doing something in front of the other kids that he didn't think looked good. By 2nd grade he was over most of that and thrived in the gifted classes.


Wow, sounds just like my little boy. He will erase his entire paper if he feels he wrote the letters not straight enough. He will take an hour to color a coloring book page. Makes sure he doesn't go out of the lines. He is so careful to be "perfect."


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

Neversleepsawink;) (#1071) said:


> Wow, sounds just like my little boy. He will erase his entire paper if he feels he wrote the letters not straight enough. He will take an hour to color a coloring book page. Makes sure he doesn't go out of the lines. He is so careful to be "perfect."


My son was the same way. He did grow out of a lot of it by the end of the 2nd grade. Still had to do things well, but not as stressed. By then, he was aware of grades and having all A's, he would realize that he did things well. The funny thing is he would not eat food with his hands even as a baby and now at 34 still won't eat foods he has to pick up, like ribs. If he can't cut it with a knife and fork he won't pick it up. He has to have all of his videos in alphabetical order and things have to be in the right place. It is funny now because he has a 3 yr old son and a 5 month old son and you know how fast children can mess up everything. I was worried that he may have a problem with it, but he takes in stride. He is a wonderful father and seems to be doing fine with the chaos.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Neversleepsawink;) (#1071) said:


> My son is very motivated, but just so hard on himself. He seems to want to be his idea of "perfect." I tell him all the time how wonderful he is, but he just has such high expectations for himself. Always comparing himself to others....to me he will always be perfect.


I tell my daughter that nobody is perfect at *everything*. (She's ahead of her age group in some things, and absolutely average in others and that frustrates her.) If there's something else (not reading-related) that your son excels at, perhaps you can point out to him that maybe some other kids can read better but they can't do XYZ as well as he does. If he feels better about his strengths, maybe he won't be so stressed about taking a little longer to read.

Once a week I go to my daughter's school to read with the six-year-old kids. They read, I listen, correct them only when really necessary, and just keep notes on their reading abilities. It has given me a better perspective on what a wide range of reading levels exists at that age, and how differently kids learn. For some of them the phonics method works very well, and for others not at all. I used to think that the idea of different learning styles was just some trendy theory but it's quite true -- not every method works for every child.

And I'll echo the other comments about getting his eyes checked... let us know what happens!


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## ogie287 (est. 1838) (Feb 5, 2009)

BOB books are great.  They are sets of booklets.  Each booklet is short so they feel good about being able to finish one or several in one sitting.

My youngest daughter is the same age (7) and is at the same level as your son.  She seems to be doing OK grade-wise in school, but she seems not-so confident when we have her read at home.  She will get frustrated and stop reading so we're still working on her confidence.

I hope you find a solution that works well for you and your son.


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## smitty89 (Mar 12, 2009)

If he likes to spend time on the computer you could check out http://www.starfall.com. (sorry not sure how to make this link clickable!) My kids (8 and 6) love this website and have spent many hours playing the games. It has really helped them a lot with their schoolwork. Good luck!


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## pomlover2586 (Feb 14, 2009)

I really relate to this! I had a terrible time learning to read- in fact i didn't really start conquering it until 3rd grade!! Once it set it however I took off like a rocket and went above and beyond my grade level very quickly and never looked back. i work with K-5th now and I see how heard each of them struggle with their reading [and which ones it comes naturally to]. Just continue to encourage and provide a wide variety of reading materials. Eventually he will excel- especially because he wants it so bad! Good luck and give your little guys hugs for me!


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## chynared21 (Oct 28, 2008)

luvmy4brats said:


>


*These DVDs are fantastic...DD watched them over and over.

Also, have you spoken with his teacher? Reading levels are a guide but unfortunately they're used for promotion as well. My g/f's son was on the lowest level for promotion and now that our kids are in the 3rd grade, he's exceeded expectations. It's amazing how he "caught" up so quickly.

Also, the Frog and Toad books are great. Short stories about friendship and such. They would be great to read along with.

And, I agree on the testing...his eyes and for a reading issue.*


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Thank you everyone, great suggestions.....I'm going to try a few next week


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

smitty89 said:


> If he likes to spend time on the computer you could check out http://www.starfall.com. (sorry not sure how to make this link clickable!) My kids (8 and 6) love this website and have spent many hours playing the games. It has really helped them a lot with their schoolwork. Good luck!


He loves this site...he's been playing with starfall since last year.


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## durphy (Nov 5, 2008)

I'd just do everything I could to relieve the pressure and find other areas for him to excell. Kids develop in different areas at different paces. He's so young. Is there any possibility that you could home school him for a couple of years? His affinity towards science could indicate that he's not going to be your average student. Brilliant children often show their talents later in their educational development.

What does your instinct tell you? You know him best.

p.s. You might want to keep this web site in your files and see in a few years if it fits: http://www.keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=5&c=overview


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## Anju  (Nov 8, 2008)

Never - I have absolutely no hints, ideas, or thoughts to pass along as I have never had children.  However, he sounds like so many engineers I have known - perfectionists!  Good luck and please keep us all posted on his tests and his progress.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Yes, I will be home schooling him hopefully until High School.  Once HS comes I will let him decide if he'd like to go to a private HS or continue with virtual school.  I think he is just putting to much pressure on himself....causing himself not to focus.  He just wants to "get it" and it distracts him.  I will try different things, hopefully making learning to read more fun for him.  Thank you again for all your help


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## chevauchee (Mar 29, 2009)

Can you turn on your TV's closed captioning? I know it seems a bit odd, since it's meant for the hearing impaired, but it can help kids connect words to their sounds.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Great idea!   Thanks


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## KMA (Mar 11, 2009)

Is he gifted? The high level of perfectionism and the skill with math could point that way. He could also be more of a visual spacial learner. I'm guessing that time will help more than anything else. If your gut tells you something is wrong, you could have him screened for visual processing issues. Vision therapy tends to help a lot with VP disorders. 

We're homeschoolers, too.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

I'm not sure if he is gifted...his great grades might be just that.  Thank you


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## patrisha w. (Oct 28, 2008)

drenee said:


> Definitely have the eyes checked. I remember my daughter came home from school and said that Adam, a little boy in her class, was mad at her. When I asked why she replied that she blocked his view of the board when she went up front to read it. I inquired why she was getting out of her seat to read the board. Needless to say, I had her at the eye doctor the next day.


Which, of course, reminds me of a story! 
I had extremely poor eyesight when I started school and, since I was always put at the back of the class because I was so tall, naturally, I had a problem with reading what was on the board.
So, my older son was, I think in the 8th grade when he said casually that he couldn't read what Mr. So-and-so wrote on the board. What?
I whipped him out of school the next day and had his eyes tested. The eye doctor looked at me with some puzzlement because he turned out to have excellent vision.
I said to him, "Well, didn't you tell me you couldn't read what was on the board?
"Ummm, Mom." he said, "I said I couldn't read Mr. So-and-so's WRITING! !"
Oooops!

patrisha


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

patrisha #150 said:


> Which, of course, reminds me of a story!
> I had extremely poor eyesight when I started school and, since I was always put at the back of the class because I was so tall, naturally, I had a problem with reading what was on the board.
> So, my older son was, I think in the 8th grade when he said casually that he couldn't read what Mr. So-and-so wrote on the board. What?
> I whipped him out of school the next day and had his eyes tested. The eye doctor looked at me with some puzzlement because he turned out to have excellent vision.
> ...


<LOL>
OK, another school story, then.
My parents/grandparents/uncles taught me to read very early. So my grandmother pestered the local school officials to let me start school early, and I started first grade when I had just turned five. Six months later my grandmother ran into my teacher at the supermarket and asked, probably with grandmaternal (that ought to be a word!) pride, how I was doing. The teacher said, well, she's a very nice little girl, it's just too bad she's going to fail first grade... Gasps of horror. After a number of parent/teacher/me conferences, it became apparent that I had been bored with the "see Spot run" books and had chosen to read my mythology books instead, secretly under my desk, and so whenever the teacher called on me I had no clue what was going on.... I think the result of that is still on my record.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

That reminds me of my story.  I was five and apparently I had trouble with speech.  My school put me in a Spanish to English class.  I told my mom what happen, she had to explain to my school I only spoke English.  Yikes!  My son speaks very well, thank goodness.  For some reason I couldn't hear certain sounds causing me to say almost everything wrong.  I've had his hearing and sight checked and both are great.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Neversleepsawink;) (#1071) said:


> That reminds me of my story. I was five and apparently I had trouble with speech. My school put me in a Spanish to English class. I told my mom what happen, she had to explain to my school I only spoke English. Yikes! My son speaks very well, thank goodness. For some reason I couldn't hear certain sounds causing me to say almost everything wrong. I've had his hearing and sight checked and both are great.


So how did they teach you the right sounds?


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Susan in VA said:


> So how did they teach you the right sounds?


Actually it wasn't until about age 9 when I started to hear the different sounds. They couldn't teach me, I said a lot of things wrong  One day it just happened. My son has all the sounds down (thank goodness). I was told my dad had the same sound issue when he was young.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Neversleepsawink;) (#1071) said:


> Actually it wasn't until about age 9 when I started to hear the different sounds. They couldn't teach me, I said a lot of things wrong  One day it just happened. My son has all the sounds down (thank goodness). I was told my dad had the same sound issue when he was young.


How interesting! (Though I imagine it was more frustrating for you than interesting.) Is there a name for this "sound issue"?

And is this something that's either "there" or "not there", or are there simply different degrees of being able to hear sounds the right way? (Sometimes people think they're copying/repeating a sound they've heard, and aren't getting anywhere close. And some people can imitate birds easily. Seems those would be two sides of the same hearing issue.)


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Susan in VA said:


> How interesting! (Though I imagine it was more frustrating for you than interesting.) Is there a name for this "sound issue"?
> 
> And is this something that's either "there" or "not there", or are there simply different degrees of being able to hear sounds the right way? (Sometimes people think they're copying/repeating a sound they've heard, and aren't getting anywhere close. And some people can imitate birds easily. Seems those would be two sides of the same hearing issue.)


No name...no one could figure out why I couldn't hear certain sounds. I felt really bad for my mom...she would spend hours teaching me one word. She would keep on repeating it, and I would try to mock the way her mouth moved hoping I was making the right sound. When I was nine I remember (clearly) my mom saying aluminum foil with me for three hours. Finally I got it, a big moment in my life. Soon other words would come. My dad said that he did the same thing. They never could figure out why. I could talk, just a few challenges like not being able to say a whole word at times.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Neversleepsawink;) (#1071) said:


> No name...no one could figure out why I couldn't hear certain sounds. I felt really bad for my mom...she would spend hours teaching me one word. She would keep on repeating it, and I would try to mock the way her mouth moved hoping I was making the right sound. When I was nine I remember (clearly) my mom saying aluminum foil with me for three hours. Finally I got it, a big moment in my life. Soon other words would come. My dad said that he did the same thing. They never could figure out why. I could talk, just a few challenges like not being able to say a whole word at times.


Medical mysteries *(provided they turn out non-serious!) *are cool, somehow. 
And now you hear everything just fine -- in other words, this went away by itself, just like that?


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Susan in VA said:


> Medical mysteries *(provided they turn out non-serious!) *are cool, somehow.
> And now you hear everything just fine -- in other words, this went away by itself, just like that?


Yep, I'm fine now  Was happy that my son didn't get that part from me


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Neversleepsawink;) (#1071) said:


> Yep, I'm fine now  Was happy that my son didn't get that part from me


I can imagine! And how much worse would it be for kids whose parents hadn't experienced this themselves, and didn't know how to help.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

As Eliza Doolittle would say:

In 'artford, 'ereford, and 'ampshire, 'urricanes 'ardley hever 'appen."  

Ann


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Ann in Arlington said:


> As Eliza Doolittle would say:
> 
> In 'artford, 'ereford, and 'ampshire, 'urricanes 'ardley hever 'appen."
> 
> Ann


Lol...I'm living my childhood all over again  Just kidding. My poor mom...thank goodness she was patient.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Neversleepsawink;) (#1071) said:


> Lol...I'm living my childhood all over again  Just kidding. My poor mom...thank goodness she was patient.


Seems like you learned well from her and are applying that to your own son. Kudos!

Ann


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Ann in Arlington said:


> Seems like you learned well from her and are applying that to your own son. Kudos!
> 
> Ann


Thank you, that is a wonderful compliment


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

Neversleepsawink;) (#1071) said:


> No name...no one could figure out why I couldn't hear certain sounds. I felt really bad for my mom...she would spend hours teaching me one word. She would keep on repeating it, and I would try to mock the way her mouth moved hoping I was making the right sound. When I was nine I remember (clearly) my mom saying aluminum foil with me for three hours. Finally I got it, a big moment in my life. Soon other words would come. My dad said that he did the same thing. They never could figure out why. I could talk, just a few challenges like not being able to say a whole word at times.


I had and have similar problems, but mine is because of hearing loss. I had a lot of ear infections as a child, way before they were doing the tube thing. I only have 40% hearing in my right ear and about 35% hearing in my left ear. I read lips a lot, but very few people realize it until I tell them. This is an issue when I'm learning new words for me. I am a medical software trainer and there are a lot of medical terms that I have no idea how to say. My wonderful DH will spend hours teaching me how to correctly pronounce any new words I will need before going out in the field. Hearing aids do not work for me. I am always up front with my colleagues because if I am not looking at them, I really don't realize they are talking to me. Funny how we learn to adapt.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

I still have moments where I struggle...I won't hear words right.  When I try to pronounce them it sounds odd, I've been told.  However for the most part you can't really tell I have a issue.   After age 9 it was not noticable.


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

Neversleepsawink;) (#1071) said:


> I still have moments where I struggle...I won't hear words right. When I try to pronounce them it sounds odd, I've been told. However for the most part you can't really tell I have a issue.  After age 9 it was not noticable.


Same here. I remember learning how to say hippopotamus. Took me days, but we were going to the zoo and I didn't want anyone to know I couldn't say it. I was 9 or 10 at the time.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Kathy said:


> Same here. I remember learning how to say hippopotamus. Took me days, but we were going to the zoo and I didn't want anyone to know I couldn't say it. I was 9 or 10 at the time.


Looks like we had a lot in common.


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## DawnOfChaos (Nov 12, 2008)

My son just turned 6 in February. He's quite the reader now, but to get him started with it we used the Leapfrog DVDs, Leapster games, and Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. We also used everything that wasn't a book. Signs on the road, signs in stores, grocery store packages anywhere there is a written word. We also read the comics.


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## meljackson (Nov 19, 2008)

My daughter is 6 too and in first grade. She is having a terrible time with reading and spelling. We spend hours per week with her 10 spelling words and I think she has them down but she gets a "U" almost every test. It's frustrating for them. I feel so bad for her because she gets really upset like your son. Sometimes I think they push them too hard too early. 

Melissa


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

meljackson said:


> My daughter is 6 too and in first grade. She is having a terrible time with reading and spelling. We spend hours per week with her 10 spelling words and I think she has them down but she gets a "U" almost every test. It's frustrating for them. I feel so bad for her because she gets really upset like your son. Sometimes I think they push them too hard too early.
> 
> Melissa


I'm so sorry. I feel bad, I think because I'm his teacher he feels like he has to try harder. He wants to be "perfect" for me. The post above yours, I have that book....he loves it. Thats the book he makes me read with him on weekends. Your daughter might like that workbook too.


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## Esther (Dec 21, 2008)

Neversleepsawink,
I know how hard they work and struggle. Both my kids have dyslexia. In first grade and Kindergarten, they both took much slower than we expected compared to how bright they are. Now we know that kind of discrepency is a sign of a learning disorder, which does not mean they are not smart, just that something in the way their brain works is getting in the way of them learning the way it is taught in school. The dyslexia looked different for each kid. My daughter knew her letter sounds, but when it came to sounding out a word she wouldn't know where to start. She would just guess, because that is one of the unhelpful (for dylexics) strategies they teach in schools. My son could sound out words, but very slowly. Even those BOB books someone mentioned earlier were hard for him because after slowly sounding out a simple phonetic word he would then forget it when he met up with the same word again on the page and would have to sound it out all over again--very frustrating! He was really starting to feel bad about himself. Smart kids can tell when they should be reading better than they do and it is a lot of had work when they struggle.

We had our kids extensively tested. First my daughter in the public school, which was not really helpful, then both again with a clinical psychologist licensed for this kind of educational testing. The tester is active in research at a local university and came highly recommended by our school's director. The testing was able to pinpoint their weaknesses (and their strengths!) and offer advice on the right kind of tutoring. If you suspect an auditory problem, since it may run in your family, they can do testing in public schools for auditory processing disorders of which there are many types. My daughter had this testing too and results were negative for Auditory processing disorders. Public school testing services are free, Private can be very expensive. Shriner's hospitals have a program for testing for dyslexia, but because it is either free or much less expensive than private, the wait is usually very long.

My kids have been very successful since we started the tutoring. Our tutoring is a program in a structured, systematic multi-sensory phonetic approach that has been very successful for dyslexics. Our specific program is Linguistic Remedies, which is a program developed by a local speech and language researcher. However there are a lot of programs out there such as Wilson, Lindamood-Bell, Slingerland and some others. Caution about outside testing...Public schools can choose to disregard it if they disagree and most often won't implement the suggestions. A lot of school districts do not have the multi-sensory systematic approach in their resource rooms. They usually get more of the same as is done in the classroom, but just with fewer kids, or at least that is what was offered my daughter. But each school or district is different.

My daughter eventually became a very strong, above grade-level reader because her memory for sight words was excellent even before the tutoring, but her spelling was truly awful even when her reading and fluency was excellent. However, until we started the tutoring, her decoding abilities were not good. She just jumped over the new words she didn't know and didn't look back. Now she can break the word down (in 6th grade) and since we are learning latin, greek and romantic types of roots, prefixes and suffixes, she has a good shot of figuring out really hard vocabulary words she encounters. She reads adult level material. And her spelling has really improved. My son is doing really well and is now very fluent in 3rd gr. and is also reading above grade level. What is great is that both kids love to read.

I can recommend two books that gave me more info: by Sally Shaywith MD--A brain researcher:  This book has a kindle version, but there are a lot of interesting brain scan images and graphs that the DTB might be better. The book explains what dyslexia is, what the newer research into brains says about dyslexia and some approaches that work.

And I found this interesting about how a brain learns to read:  By Maryanne Wolf who does research in this area at Tufts (I think).

I'm not an expert in any of this, just a mom who did a lot of reading on my journey to help my kids. If you suspect a LD, you can ask your son's teacher and request testing. You can also check out www.LDonline.org for information about how to request testing. There is a whole body of law under IDEA and ADA that school's need to follow.

Things will definitely get better, maybe even on their own as some suggest. But to get more info in case you want to pursue something more actively, especially if your son is showing signs that he is not happy with his progress, you can start at www.LDonline.org

Good Luck!


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Esther said:


> Neversleepsawink,
> I know how hard they work and struggle. Both my kids have dyslexia. In first grade and Kindergarten, they both took much slower than we expected compared to how bright they are. Now we know that kind of discrepency is a sign of a learning disorder, which does not mean they are not smart, just that something in the way their brain works is getting in the way of them learning the way it is taught in school. The dyslexia looked different for each kid. My daughter knew her letter sounds, but when it came to sounding out a word she wouldn't know where to start. She would just guess, because that is one of the unhelpful (for dylexics) strategies they teach in schools. My son could sound out words, but very slowly. Even those BOB books someone mentioned earlier were hard for him because after slowly sounding out a simple phonetic word he would then forget it when he met up with the same word again on the page and would have to sound it out all over again--very frustrating! He was really starting to feel bad about himself. Smart kids can tell when they should be reading better than they do and it is a lot of had work when they struggle.
> 
> We had our kids extensively tested. First my daughter in the public school, which was not really helpful, then both again with a clinical psychologist licensed for this kind of educational testing. The tester is active in research at a local university and came highly recommended by our school's director. The testing was able to pinpoint their weaknesses (and their strengths!) and offer advice on the right kind of tutoring. If you suspect an auditory problem, since it may run in your family, they can do testing in public schools for auditory processing disorders of which there are many types. My daughter had this testing too and results were negative for Auditory processing disorders. Public school testing services are free, Private can be very expensive. Shriner's hospitals have a program for testing for dyslexia, but because it is either free or much less expensive than private, the wait is usually very long.
> ...


Wow, thank you so much....checking out those books tonight


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## Anju  (Nov 8, 2008)

That is what is so great about this forum - helping each other!


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Anju No. 469 said:


> That is what is so great about this forum - helping each other!


Yes, everyone is wonderful. Thank you so much everyone ((((((HUGS))))))


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## J.E.Johnson (Aug 5, 2009)

Poor guy!  That's terrible    I work at a school, but unfortunately I don't work very closely with the kids that need extra help with reading.  Have you tried the Dr. Seuss books?  I believe they were written to help children with reading.  I don't have much to offer I'm afraid, but I just felt like I should respond and lend some support.  It sounds like he's on the right track though, if he's willing to work as hard as you say then he's going to be a great reader some day.  Tell him I'm cheering for him.  Oh, have you talked to the local librarian?  Sometimes they have a knack for finding something that works.
Jenna Elizabeth Johnson


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

The whole Jumpstart series is really great. When our kids were little we had the whole series (16 years ago so they have been updated ALOT) and these programs were invaluable.
Also, find books of comic strips, like Garfield, Zits, Foxtrot. My oldest son was 17 months old and would read the Garfield ones to his newborn brother. 
Jumpstart 1st Grade:


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Thank you, I will look into all of the suggestions.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

If you think he's truly lagging behind where he should be, I'd definitely have him checked for dyslexia or other similar issues (after the vision check). Two of the smartest, most literate people I know are dyslexic to some degree, so it certainly does not need to be a show stopper, though it will help if it's diagnosed early and he learns how to deal with it.

Good luck, and at least be glad that he actually _wants_ to read.


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

Jumping in late here. I am a 38 year old who has many learning disabilities and ADHD. I notice that there is a great deal of discussion about dyslexia in this thread and that concerns me. If his eye sight is fine and he has not been diagnosed with dyslexia and he struggles with phonics then you could be dealing with a very different type of problem. I am dyslexic but the auditory discrimination learning disability has caused me many more problems then dyslexia ever did. I could not learn to read phonetically because I do not distinguish between many sounds, especially the soft sounds.

http://www.ldonline.org/article/Visual_and_Auditory_Processing_Disorders For the record, every problem discussed on the web page, I have had to deal with. It was sooo much fun.

Here is my question to you, is there a large grade discrepancy or skill discrepancy?

Most kids are A/B students or B/C students or however they grade kids in elementary school these days. If you have a child who is an A/C student or, in my case, an A/D student that is sign that the child has a learning disability. Most kids will have an area or two that the excel in but their other classes are still close grade wise. Discrepancies tend to point to the fact that a child is processing information differently in some subjects which could mean that there is a learning disability. In my case, I was an A student in the social science, creative writing, and (strangely enough*) reading. I was a D student in grammar, math, and sciences.

The best thing you can do is look at your local government and see if you can find an advocacy program that you can work with. My Mom took her experiences with my younger sibling and I and worked for the Orange County Advocacy program. They help parents through the process of getting children tested and services. Most folks don't know that these government funded advocacy programs exist. The School is likely to drag their feet because if your son has any type of learning disability they will have to provide services and that cost money. If he is diagnosed, then the school distrct is likely to try and do as little as possible.

Can you tell I had an awful experience with the school system? By the time my younger brother was in Junior High my parents said screw it and put him in private schools. The services provided are different but they were much more invested in him then the public school system was. The public school system wanted to put him in all remedial classes. He graduated from college without a problem. A different school system told my parents I would never graduate from high school and probably would have to be a secretary. I graduated from college with high honors and earned my PhD. My point? The school systems are underfunded and over worked. I don't think that they want to hurt kids but lookat kids with special needs using a cost benefit analysis. In the end, they want to spend more money on the mainstream kids and programs for kids with Learning Disabilities take money away from those programs. It is less expensive to put the LD kid in a remedial class then to provide the one on one time needed to help the LD kid learn how they process information and excel in the regular classroom.

* While I am dyslexic, it is actually pretty minor. My Mom has the same learning disabilities as I, she diagnosed herself when the school diagnosed me, and she was the one who taught us to read. I am guessing that she taught us to read in a way that made sense to her. So no phonics because she has auditory discrimination. My younger brother is more seriously dyslexic and did not read until third grade. He does not have auditory discrimination issues.


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## EllenR (Mar 31, 2009)

I'm jumping in late too. I have 3 kids and I'm not sure that any of them were truly reading at 6. I read to them every night but other than the 1st grader readers at school, they didn't read a lot on their own. Make sure the books you have are appropriate level by asking his teacher what books he reads at school. Most of all, after you have checked to make sure there is nothing wrong, tell him it's ok to just read WITH you.

For what it's worth, my kids are all older now and read just fine. In fact, my younger two are voracious readers. They are 17, 15, and 11 now. Not one of my kids could read by kindergarten, of that I am certain. Not one of them could even TALK at 10 months, never mind read! Incidentally, my two younger children both have congenital hearing loss and wear hearing aids. We didn't know they needed them until my daughter was in fifth grade. It actually did not effect their ability to read or talk, which is why it took so long to find out. My son was about your son's age when we discovered his hearing loss.

I also agree with the Jump Start series. We had those for the computer and my kids did love them. 

God love you. You have your hands full, don't you? As a mom, my advice to you is simple. Relax a bit, both you and your son. You haven't had it easy. Your son has what he needs most, your love and care. He's a lucky little boy.

Hugs to you all.

EllenR


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Thanks ev1, we've been practicing with word tiles.  He is reading a lot better, soon he will be a pro.


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