# Mind your own business!



## Lyndl (Apr 2, 2010)

So, I'm reading and someone comes up to me and says "_What are you reading_" Instant blood boil!

I can't be the only that is annoyed by this? How do you handle it ?

When I used to read DT books, I would just show them the cover and go back to reading. If they asked me what the book is about, I grit my teeth and tell them it would take too long to explain. Most have gotten the message by then but not all.

I have to admit it doesn't happen so often with the Kindle. Probably because no one around here knows what it is! Strangely enough, I don't mind so much if someone asks me what the Kindle is, I'm happy to demonstrate it.


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## pidgeon92 (Oct 27, 2008)

Actually, I like to share what I am reading.


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## Monique (Jul 31, 2010)

pidgeon92 said:


> Actually, I like to share what I am reading.


Me too.


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## DYB (Aug 8, 2009)

Yeah, I know what you mean.  I also don't like when people ask me what I'm listening to on my iPod.  Maybe because sometimes I'm ashamed to admit it....  It's also how I feel about tattoos.  I have many and I absolutely detest when people ask me why I got a particular image and what it means.


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## Daniel Arenson (Apr 11, 2010)

Hmm, you know, I don't think anyone's ever asked me that.


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## purplepen79 (May 6, 2010)

I don't like being surprised with social interaction when I'm in the middle of something, and this includes reading.  I'm an introvert and like to stay on a particular train of thought without getting derailed, and social interaction, especially the kind where there are a lot of interruptions (like at work) drains my energy.  I love talking about books, though, so if someone asks me this particular question, I may sigh inwardly, set aside the book, and then get so engaged in the conversation about the book that I'll forget I felt that initial spurt of annoyance.  

The question/comment that really gets on my nerves is when I'm in deep thought, and someone yells "Smile!" or "What are you looking so sad about?"  I'm not sad, I'm thinking.


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## DYB (Aug 8, 2009)

purplepen79 said:


> The question/comment that really gets on my nerves is when I'm in deep thought, and someone yells "Smile!" or "What are you looking so sad about?" I'm not sad, I'm thinking.


That's funny - because it's true. Don't tell me to smile!!! I remember one time, when I worked in retail, it was 11:30pm - almost closing time - and a coworker and I were standing at the register when a customer walked up and all-but screamed at us: "You know, you could smile!" To which my co-worker replied: "Yes, I could, but I choose not to." She demanded to speak to a supervisor (so the supervisor would force the clerk to smile? I'm not sure.) In any case, I was the supervisor and, needless to say, nobody got in trouble.


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## Guest (Oct 24, 2010)

I'm not the biggest fan of getting interrupted either. Of course, I don't often choose to read in public too, because being out there seems like an invitation to have someone ask to me.


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## Thumper (Feb 26, 2009)

:::shrugs:::

People are curious by nature, and just trying to be social. It doesn't cost me anything to be nice and answer them. So I might have to backtrack a paragraph and take a moment to fall back into what I was reading (or listening to, or doing...) No big deal. If I make an issue out of it, though, I'm liable to hurt someone, and that is a big deal...


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## Dawn McCullough White (Feb 24, 2010)

purplepen79 said:


> The question/comment that really gets on my nerves is when I'm in deep thought, and someone yells "Smile!" or "What are you looking so sad about?" I'm not sad, I'm thinking.


OMG I hate to be told to "smile". It's like demanding that a person must be happy NOW!! Luckily I'm such an old sourpuss these days that no one ever bothers to wander into my territory to investigate whether or not I have a smile on my face. Probably afraid that I'll bite them.

Dawn


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## Cuechick (Oct 28, 2008)

If the "askers" are male, then I think this is just a pick up line... 
They don't really care what you're reading, just looking to break the ice. At least that has been my experience though
it's been a while... ::sigh::


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

I hate when people ask me what I'm reading, but mostly because I get horribly tongue-tied, forget the name of the book, can't adequately explain what it's about, and end up sounding like an idiot. 

I've taken to just holding up the book so people can see the title (doesn't work so well on the Kindle, although I tend to keep that at home) and if they ask me what it's about, I keep it to one sentence and then continue reading and hope they decide to stop talking to me!


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## Thumper (Feb 26, 2009)

purplepen79 said:


> "Smile!" or "What are you looking so sad about?"


That's when you answer, "My dad just died, I found out I have a brain tumor, and the grocery store was out of chocolate pudding. And I had a stroke, so, you know, those muscles don't work..."

_Then _smile.


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## farrellclaire (Mar 5, 2010)

purplepen79 said:


> The question/comment that really gets on my nerves is when I'm in deep thought, and someone yells "Smile!" or "What are you looking so sad about?" I'm not sad, I'm thinking.


This irritates me - I'm just not chirpy, okay! The worst part is when someone says smile, my mouth always obeys.  Also, if people go around randomly smiling at nothing, they become know as a weirdo. Can't win. 

I hate when people ask what I'm reading or what a book is about because I always make it sound boring. I'm incapable of making a book sound interesting. Even when it is.


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## Sandra Edwards (May 10, 2010)

I don't mind someone asking me what I'm reading...


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

1. I don't mind people asking me what I'm reading, provided they don't lecture me on it. I'm introverted as heck, but like talking about books.  

2. I don't mind when people ask about my tattoos and I am one of those people who'll ask others about theirs, and usually they're glad to tell me because they can see my genuine interest and often it's a way for them to memorialize someone they've lost. 

3. Oh, yes, I detest people telling me to smile. Like purplepen, my concentrating or engrossed face is rather frowny and now I've been interrupted and ordered around by a stranger. Yes, it was particularly bad in retail. When someone tells me to smile, even if I was in a good mood, it then becomes the last thing I want to do.


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## Anne (Oct 29, 2008)

I like to share what I am reading. If I see someone reading a book that I am thinking of reading. I always ask if the book is good. So far I have never had a problem doing that.


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## Barbiedull (Jul 13, 2010)

I wouldn't walk up to a stranger and ask "what are you THINKING",
so why do people feel it's ok to ask what you are READING?

If it was a random stranger, and I really didn't want to be bothered, 
I'd look them straight in the eye and say "A book".
If it is someone I know, I would give a friendlier answer.


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## Aravis60 (Feb 18, 2009)

I don't mind when people ask me what I am reading, either. I was the only bookworm in the house where I grew up and I was always dying for someone to talk about books with, so I like to share. If I'm really, engrossed, I guess I do try to keep the answer short, but even then I don't mind. It's not like I am going to miss something like I would if I was watching a movie, since the words aren't going anywhere. Plus, I've found that this can lead to the discovery of wonderful new books that I might not have heard about otherwise. I don't necessarily ask other people what they are reading, but I am terribly curious and have been known to try to sneak a peek at the cover.


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## Rhynedahll (Oct 23, 2010)

I don't often read away from home, but generally it seems like the question is just someone being polite or is used to ignite conversation.

If I should answer and then wax enthusiastic about the book I am reading, then the person's eyes usually glaze over and they get that antsy look that says "I'm not really interested in your book, I just want you to listen while I talk about some totally inane nonevent that I think is important."


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## Monique (Jul 31, 2010)

This thread has been a surprise for me. While I'm not sure I've ever asked and am not asked often myself, it never occurred to me that it would upset people so much.


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## Cirlonde (Sep 25, 2010)

I'm a huge epic fantasy nerd and most of the books I read your average person on the street has never heard of and isn't really interested in hearing about anyway.  Unfortunately, when someone asks what I'm reading, the automatic follow-up question is "Oh, what's that about?"  And that's where I get hung up...an epic novel is by definition epic and thus, a summary of the book is also longer than a casual inquirer is really wanting to listen to but I'm not sure how to answer the question except fully.  I don't usually run into this issue with random strangers, but my husband's family are all notorious for asking me about whatever book I'm reading while we're at a family holiday.  To combat this, I've begun purposefully reading a more common genre book whenever we go to visit.  It's much easier to briefly explain an historical fiction book than it is an epic fantasy series.

I also worry about how people will judge me if they don't agree with my taste in books and I have no desire to get into a debate with random folks about my personal interests.  Take Harry Potter for example.  I grew up smack dab in the middle of the Bible belt and when HP was all the rage, most of my small-town community thought anyone who read about witches and wizards must, by association, be a follower of Satan.  Logical, right?  So anyway, I quickly learned to be secretive about what I enjoy reading in order to avoid the issue altogether.  That's not to say that I don't enjoy a discussion of my favorite hobby but only with people who are genuinely interested and who also like to read.  Trying to make conversation about books with someone who doesn't read is one of my least favorite things to do.  Note:  This is why the Kindle is so freaking awesome for me!!  I can read whatever the heck I want and just tell everyone it's some well known book (my fall back tends to be Gone With the Wind because I really liked it and can talk about it as if I am actually currently reading it, plus most people know at least something about it and you don't have to explain!)
-C


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## Steph H (Oct 28, 2008)

I'm not only somewhat shy and introverted in person with people I don't know (yeah, hard to believe from how I am online )  but I also have hearing problems and so sometimes verbal communications can be difficult.  So I'm not real fond of folks coming up to me to ask either. But I deal with it if it happens.

But take a step back and look at it this way. The person reading might be studying for a test that happens in 15 minutes.  Or it may be their only 30 minutes of 'me time' that they get all day long and they don't want to spend it talking. Or they have a doctor appointment for a serious condition and they're trying to get information for it.  Who knows.

What I'm getting at -- is that what one person sees as a genuine curiosity and simple desire for conversation, the other person may see as nosiness and a completely unwanted interruption of their valuable time.  Essentially the person who is asking is imposing THEIR wants on the person who is reading, without regard to what the reader wants.

Just something to consider...


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## Monique (Jul 31, 2010)

Good points Steph, but... It  just seems easy enough to say "Harry Potter. It's great" and a smile or "I've got chem test in 10, sorry". 

*shrug* The asker (usually) doesn't mean any harm.


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## Selcien (Oct 31, 2008)

I have no problem with the "What are you reading" question as it's so very simple to answer, the problem is that there's usually a "What's it about" followup question, and that can be such a pain to answer. I was asked that with _John Dies at the End_, I didn't even know how to begin to explain the book, the best that I could come up with was that it had supernatural elements. The question I hate even more is "What books do you have on that", which I've been asked twice, by the same person at work. The first time I let him take a look at the Reader, the second time I said something generic like "stuff". Even if I didn't have a problem recalling what I have on it I still wouldn't feel inclined to answer the question.



Barbiedull said:


> I wouldn't walk up to a stranger and ask "what are you THINKING",
> so why do people feel it's ok to ask what you are READING?


It might have something to do with the two things not being at all similar. What you're thinking in your own head is entirely your own business, however, if you're reading in public chances are that the material has been made available for public consumption. Asking what you're reading is no different than someone seeing you snacking on something and asking you what you're eating.


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## Barbiedull (Jul 13, 2010)

Selcien said:


> It might have something to do with the two things not being at all similar. What you're thinking in your own head is entirely your own business, however, if you're reading in public chances are that the material has been made available for public consumption. Asking what you're reading is no different than someone seeing you snacking on something and asking you what you're eating.


What I'm reading is (to me) what I'm thinking at the time...and it is my business. Not that I would be plain rude to someone, but I might shrug it off and just give a vague answer. I wouldn't ask a stranger what they're eating either...what business is it of mine?

I do think things are different if we mean a total stranger or someone you know even slightly.


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## DYB (Aug 8, 2009)

Selcien said:


> ...there's usually a "What's it about" followup question, and that can be such a pain to answer. I was asked that with _John Dies at the End_, I didn't even know how to begin to explain the book


You should have said that it was about exactly what the title suggested.


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## nomesque (Apr 12, 2010)

Lyndl said:


> So, I'm reading and someone comes up to me and says "_What are you reading_" Instant blood boil!


Only if I'm immersed in the story, didn't make eye contact, and have body language going on that says, "****** off, I'm busy."

Maybe you need a standard conversation-killer response, like, "Erotica. Male-on-male. Very, VERY steamy. Is it hot in here? Excuse me, I need to get back to my boys."


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## J.M Pierce (May 13, 2010)

MichelleR said:


> 1. I don't mind people asking me what I'm reading, provided they don't lecture me on it. I'm introverted as heck, but like talking about books.


This is an excellent point! Just a couple of weeks ago I was reading and an old woman asked me what it was about. I told her it was a fantasy and then she proceeded to go on and on about how she hated science fiction and fantasy. She tore Star Wars apart for five minutes and then proceeded to tell me how silly Dracula was. I'm a fairly passive guy, but this lady had my blood pressure up!


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## Monique (Jul 31, 2010)

You could always just wear something like this:


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## J.M Pierce (May 13, 2010)

Monique said:


> You could always just wear something like this:


I guarantee those would sell like hotcakes. I'd wear one!


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## Monique (Jul 31, 2010)

OMG, I love your new avatar, JM!


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

Monique said:


> You could always just wear something like this:


Monique! I want one!


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## J.M Pierce (May 13, 2010)

Monique said:


> OMG, I love your new avatar, JM!


   

Thanks! If only it were real.


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## heragn (Nov 3, 2009)

BTackitt said:


> Monique! I want one!


Where do I get one and can I have one for every day of the week, in different colors, of course? Don't want people thinking I never do laundry...LOL


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## Alice Y. Yeh (Jul 14, 2010)

Dawn McCullough White said:


> OMG I hate to be told to "smile". It's like demanding that a person must be happy NOW!! Luckily I'm such an old sourpuss these days that no one ever bothers to wander into my territory to investigate whether or not I have a smile on my face. Probably afraid that I'll bite them.
> 
> Dawn


Well there you go. If you scare them off, they won't bug you while you're reading.

Maybe it's adaptability. When I worked in NYC, I had strangers interrupt what I was doing with either a scam or a pick-up line. After a month, my body language and expression must have adjusted, because they left me alone. You just have to give off the hostility in waves.

(I actually like talking to strangers. Non shady ones, and NOT while I'm reading!)


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## traceya (Apr 26, 2010)

Until very recently I had actually never been asked the question 'what are you reading' - maybe I give off a vibe that clearly says 'leave me alone'. But when I was in hospital recently the doctor came round for the visit, tell you test results etc - spies by Terry Pratchett book beside my bed and spends, no lie, fifteen minutes discussing Terry Pratchett and Discworld and books in general. I'm lying there thinking 'all I wanna know is why I have no red blood cells [well I have some but very, very few] and what did the tests show' and all he wants to talk about is what a great writer Pratchett is, which I happen to agree with I just didn't think it was the right time or place


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## tbrookside (Nov 4, 2009)

I wouldn't necessarily be annoyed by being asked this question.

Some people ask because they're genuinely interested. And some people ask rhetorically - they already know what you're reading, and they've read it themselves and want to talk about it with someone; they see your book and are just asking what it is to break the ice.

I'll talk to either of those two types of questioners.

But there are people who are only asking because they can't stand to see anyone sitting quietly not paying attention to _them_ for even a few minutes. The only reason they're asking is to get you to _stop_ reading, and chit-chat instead. With those people your best option is sometimes to repay their rude behavior with some of your own.


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## N. Gemini Sasson (Jul 5, 2010)

Monique said:


> This thread has been a surprise for me. While I'm not sure I've ever asked and am not asked often myself, it never occurred to me that it would upset people so much.


For me it's not that I get upset about being asked, but that it takes me out of my 'zone'. I don't mind having to wait at the doctor's if I have a good book and treasure that little bit of 'me' time. It _can_ be hard to explain what the book is about (if it's fiction), especially if you're just getting into it. Kinda puts you on the spot, which can be a bit awkward.

I'm also never sure that if I do begin to explain what the book is, that the other person will actually share my enthusiasm for the same subject - if that makes sense. I tend to read a lot of non-fiction on either running or history. People's eyes glaze over when it's not something they're familiar with or interested in.


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## LCEvans (Mar 29, 2009)

I would rather not be asked, but I wouldn't get upset. I have been asked about my Kindle a few times and I always want to talk Kindle. As for being told to smile or being asked why I look sad, that infuriates me. 

By the way, Monique, add me to the list of those who want that shirt. Maybe you could have one made up and use it as the giveaway for a book promo.

Linda


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## Monique (Jul 31, 2010)

Hey, that's not a bad idea, Linda!


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## purplepen79 (May 6, 2010)

Wow--there's a lot of other folks who've had the "smile!" experience. I'm glad to know I'm in such good company!



J.M. Pierce said:


> This is an excellent point! Just a couple of weeks ago I was reading and an old woman asked me what it was about. I told her it was a fantasy and then she proceeded to go on and on about how she hated science fiction and fantasy. She tore Star Wars apart for five minutes and then proceeded to tell me how silly Dracula was. I'm a fairly passive guy, but this lady had my blood pressure up!


I've had that lecture too--some people think you're h-e-double hockey sticks-bound for just picking up a fantasy book. In the library here, there are fanatics who will check out the Harry Potter books and other fantasy/sci fi/paranormal/horror books and destroy them. No joke.



tbrookside said:


> But there are people who are only asking because they can't stand to see anyone sitting quietly not paying attention to _them_ for even a few minutes. The only reason they're asking is to get you to _stop_ reading, and chit-chat instead. With those people your best option is sometimes to repay their rude behavior with some of your own.


I think you put your finger on the major problem with this question for me. I love talking about books with other readers, but I hate chitchat. There's a lady in my office who never reads but loves to talk, and she'll ask me what I'm reading just to get a conversation started so she can talk.

Monique, that shirt is awesome! That was my first official laugh of the day!


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## barryem (Oct 19, 2010)

I'm always glad when someone asks what I'm reading.  I enjoy talking about the stuff that interests me.  When I see someone reading I'll often ask what they're reading.  I rarely get less than a positive response and I can't recall ever getting a negative response.  I don't plan to stop asking this.

I guess I just live in a friendlier world and I'm happy to do my part to keep it friendly.

By the way, I'm a southerner; a Texan till I retired to Arkansas.  I wonder if that has anything to do with this topic?

Barry


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## monkeyluis (Oct 17, 2010)

I tell people I'm reading a book.

I don't mind telling them about the Kindle or the iPad though if they ask.  I'm the best salesman that Apple and Amazon have.


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

barryem said:


> By the way, I'm a southerner; a Texan till I retired to Arkansas. I wonder if that has anything to do with this topic?


You'd know that better than we would -- you, and people of your ... ilk.  

I said earlier that I was okay with the occasional comment, but I also go into the zone people have mentioned and my face looks frowny when I concentrate, and so people are not interrupting me all that much. I don't think not wanting to have that discussion is unfriendly though. Part of being engrossed in a book is the real world fading away and so it can be jarring for someone to speak to you, like being woke up in the middle of a dream. There are also a lot of people who love to read and don't get as much time as they'd like -- because they're always being interrupted at home.

I like living in a friendly world too. If people are nice to me, even if they interrupt my reading, I'm going to be nice back. I also live in a small town and so, well, it's just better not to be rude. The persons most likely to interrupt me are neighbors or waitresses, which are still probably neighbors or at least people I see around in other capacities. So, I will discuss my Kindle and find out who's going into the nursing home and my Halloween decorations, etc. I used to live in the big city though and would still be polite. Setting aside time to read and hoping to have that time be relatively uninterrupted does not make you a misanthrope. At the worst, you're an introvert.


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## miss_fletcher (Oct 25, 2010)

Damn, I hate when people ask this question when they can see I'm engrossed. Worse, when they call my name and go as far to _shake me_ because I didn't hear them accidently on purpose. I'm sure I have a neon sign that pops up and blinks "talk to me right NOW, I'm reading". My friend says my face is the most animated when I'm reading so more people notice me - this baffles me.

I am more than happy to talk for hours on my favourite books... just not when I'm in the throws of passion with the lead male or kicking some ass. On a really bad day I simply spit out the author name and title then my steely glare delivers the hint... reading back this post makes me seem mean...


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

Miss_Fletcher said:


> d*mn, I hate when people ask this question when they can see I'm engrossed. Worse, when they call my name and go as far to _shake me_ because I didn't hear them accidently on purpose.


Hahaha, I would be so angry if someone shook me to get my attention! I'd say even worse than being interrupted when I'm reading is when I'm interrupted while taking pictures. I've had times when I'm lying on my stomach in the grass, sloooowly inching closer to a butterfly to take a photo when someone stomps up and asks what I'm taking pictures of. Could I look any busier?? I love to show off my photography, but not while I'm creeping up on a bug.


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## Jeremy D Brooks (Sep 27, 2010)

"What an interesting cover, what book are you reading?"

"It's called The Fermata by Nicholson Baker."

"Ooo...sounds interesting...what's it about?"

"Um, a man who can stop time."

"How fascinating...what does he do when he stops time?"

"I...uh...I think I need to leave. I just...I found it...I didn't...I can't..._goodbye!_" [runs away]


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## Selcien (Oct 31, 2008)

Barbiedull said:


> What I'm reading is (to me) what I'm thinking at the time...and it is my business.


Still doesn't make any sense to me 'cause the question "What are you reading?" does not mean "What are you reading at this very moment in time that I'm interrupting you?" At which point they would be asking you what words are masquerading as thoughts inside your head at that particular moment, but still, they wouldn't be your thoughts, they would be the authors, and the words would still be in the book, or e-reader, and that would be what they are asking about, not what you're thinking, that won't come until they ask you what you think of the book. 

Also, if you were so opposed to sharing your thoughts with strangers then I truly have to wonder why you are doing so now as people we will never be aware of will read these posts, and posts are pure thought.

I get not wanting to be interrupted (it's why I read in the car on my lunch breaks), not wanting to talk to strangers, just not the connection that you've made between reading and private thoughts.



Barbiedull said:


> I wouldn't ask a stranger what they're eating either...what business is it of mine?


I wouldn't either but that's because I'm not the type of person that can walk up to a stranger and start a conversation, in fact, even with people I know my side of the conversations usually end up being very Oz like, unless it's something that I'm really interested in then it's talk talk talk talk... So I'd be envious of anyone that could walk up to a stranger and ask them what they're eating, and really, if it looks good, you want to try it, you got to ask someone what it is.



DYB said:


> You should have said that it was about exactly what the title suggested.


I'd only consider that after the title proves to be accurate but even then I wouldn't say it to a John, and it was a John that wanted to know what I was reading.


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## Basil Sands (Aug 18, 2010)

Jeremy D Brooks said:


> "What an interesting cover, what book are you reading?"
> 
> "It's called The Fermata by Nicholson Baker."
> 
> ...


A good way to deal with that situation is to allow a bit of gas to make a loud escape from one's body...from which orifice doesn't matter. If internal gas pressure is insufficient for such a purpose a sudden Turret Syndrome-like motion and grunt or expletive followed by an extremely calm "Pardon me, what did you say?" with almost always render one in a state of total privacy for a reasonable length of time.


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## Barbiedull (Jul 13, 2010)

Selcien said:


> Still doesn't make any sense to me 'cause the question "What are you reading?" does not mean "What are you reading
> at this very moment in time that I'm interrupting you?"


Let me just clear it up (I hope) by saying that what I'm reading, thinking, or whatever...is private. If I choose to share it, that is my choice.



> Also, if you were so opposed to sharing your thoughts with strangers then I truly have to wonder why you are doing so now as people we will never be aware of will read these posts, and posts are pure thought.


 I do speak to strangers on this forum, and I do so by choice. I am not 
asked to contribute to any post that I don't volunteer to toss my thoughts into. 
I was only stating my opinion in this post. If you don't agree with what I said, that's
fine, let's move on.


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## Selcien (Oct 31, 2008)

Barbiedull,

I just want to say that I wasn't trying to be bothersome, or put you on the spot, so I do apologize if I came across badly.

I agree with the moving on bit.


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## Barbiedull (Jul 13, 2010)

Selcien said:


> Barbiedull,
> 
> I just want to say that I wasn't trying to be bothersome, or put you on the spot, so I do apologize if I came across badly.
> 
> I agree with the moving on bit.


Selcien, not a problem. Sometimes my analogies make sense to _me_,
but they don't translate well!


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## Selcien (Oct 31, 2008)

Barbiedull said:


> Selcien, not a problem. Sometimes my analogies make sense to _me_,
> but they don't translate well!


It's amazing how a single word can change everything, in this case it was "analogies". I have a natural tendency to take things literally, and as everyone can see by my example, taking an analogy literally doesn't work out so well.


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## Pinworms (Oct 20, 2010)

It makes me incredibly angry when people ask what I'm reading.  The other day, I was at the bus stop and a (former) friend of mine walked up to me and asked what I was reading.  I was so outraged, I immediately spit in her face and stormed off.  I don't get why people insist on bothering me when I am concentrating, obviously doing something else.


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## Laurensaga (Sep 29, 2010)

I don't mind being asked what I am reading by a stranger. They may be looking for a new book.  I don't even mind explaining what it is about briefly, but when I open the book back up or I clearly start reading again. Leave. me. alone.  I also hate when I know the person and they ask me what I'm reading.  They have already seen the book.  Why interrupt me to ask?  You could have asked before I sat down with it.


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## Lyndl (Apr 2, 2010)

barryem said:


> By the way, I'm a southerner; a Texan till I retired to Arkansas. I wonder if that has anything to do with this topic?
> 
> Barry


I've seen similar comments to this , does this mean that if you're a Southerner you're automatically well-mannered? More so than anyone else? 

I don't think it's rude of me not to be impressed when someone interrupts me to ask what I'm reading, especially when most of these people don't really care and are just making pointless conversation. I think it's the interruptors who are rude!


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## barryem (Oct 19, 2010)

Lyndl said:


> I've seen similar comments to this , does this mean that if you're a Southerner you're automatically well-mannered? More so than anyone else?


I'm not sure. The conventional wisdom is that southerners are friendlier than others and that northerners tend to be abrupt, so I thought the question was worth asking.

When I encounter someone reading a book in a public place I often ask what they're reading. I can't recall ever getting a negative reaction. It doesn't always result in a discussion but it often does and it's often interesting. Especially if it's a book I've read or plan to read.

All these encounters have been in the south so I have no idea what to expect from "yankees". If I ever go north I'll wear a bulletproof vest when I experiment. 



> I don't think it's rude of me not to be impressed when someone interrupts me to ask what I'm reading, especially when most of these people don't really care and are just making pointless conversation. I think it's the interruptors who are rude!


If I asked you what you're reading and you give a short answer that doesn't show any real interest in discussion I won't think you're being rude. I'd drop it and leave you alone and not think much of it. If you spit in my face I might think you were being a bit rude. 

I think it's human nature to want to speak to someone who's doing something you love, such as reading, when you encounter them.

Barry


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## Carolyn A (Jul 25, 2010)

If someone asks me what I'm reading, no matter what I'm ACTUALLY reading, I say "It's a fantastic book, I just love it - Every Little Step She Takes by Carolyn Steele Agosta. You ought to read it too." 

Actually...I keep hoping MORE people will ask me what I'm reading....

Carolyn


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## runner4546 (Oct 27, 2010)

Funny - I always want to know but would NEVER ask a stranger. How rude. You should reply with "some really hard-core erotica, interested?" 

This is a con of having all these e-readers, I can't be as nosy.


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## Lyndl (Apr 2, 2010)

Barryem, thanks for responding to the southern question.  I'm an Aussie, and I'm always curious when people make generalised statements. I like to know the reasons behind them.


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## NitroStitch (Feb 13, 2009)

purplepen79 said:


> I don't like being surprised with social interaction when I'm in the middle of something, and this includes reading. I'm an introvert and like to stay on a particular train of thought without getting derailed, and social interaction, especially the kind where there are a lot of interruptions (like at work) drains my energy. I love talking about books, though, so if someone asks me this particular question, I may sigh inwardly, set aside the book, and then get so engaged in the conversation about the book that I'll forget I felt that initial spurt of annoyance.
> 
> The question/comment that really gets on my nerves is when I'm in deep thought, and someone yells "Smile!" or "What are you looking so sad about?" I'm not sad, I'm thinking.


You said this so well that I'll just quote you to express myself.  One thing I've noticed with Kindle reading in public is that people either want to know what it is or they have one and want to tell me their Kindle story and then there's the question about what I'm reading and then I keep not getting back to the book I was attempting to read. Sometimes it's nice to talk about books with other people, but being interrupted during rare reading time isn't my favorite thing.


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## .jime (Oct 27, 2010)

I also enjoy sharing what I'm reading. I'm usually pretty excited about what I'm reading, and not enough people care about literature nowadays. So when someone inquires, I find it more of a breath of fresh air. 

Just me though... *shrug*


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## Fireheart223 (Oct 3, 2010)

I usually don't mind, although it can be a little embarrassing if I'm reading a trashy romance at that time    If its a particularly good book, sometimes I really like the chance to share how much I'm enjoying it with someone. 

Also, it can depend on the circumstances of when I'm being asked and who's asking me. I work in a coffee shop, and often sit at a table after work and read for awhile. If its a person I know asking me (we get a lot of regular customers whom we get to know from seeing every day) then I don't mind having a conversation with them, but if its someone I don't know at a time I don't want to be bothered, it can be a bit annoying. You don't always want to just go up to a stranger and try to start a conversation when they obviously look like their attention is on something else at the moment.


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

I must have the most approachable demeanor ever. I cannot read in public very often at all without getting asked either:
What is THAT? (my Kindle)
or Ohh what are you reading?

I mentally do the eyeroll thing, if its the Kindle question, I explain it in great detail, often including the information about whatever book I am currently reading because lately it's school work. If it's the what are you reading question, I say (whether it is or not) that I am studying my notes for my microbiology test and randomly pick something icky to recite like the information from pinworms (the female comes out of the body at night to lay eggs around the anus) to tapeworms (did you know they grow up to 26 meters in length inside you?) which usually sends them running so I can get back to whatever I am reading. 

And I'm a pretty happy person, so I rarely get the "smile" command.


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## Dawn McCullough White (Feb 24, 2010)

BTackitt said:


> And I'm a pretty happy person, so I rarely get the "smile" command.


I used to get the "smile" one all the time when I was around 18... I suspect that had something to do with it.

Dawn


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

BTackitt said:


> I must have the most approachable demeanor ever. I cannot read in public very often at all without getting asked either:
> What is THAT? (my Kindle)
> or Ohh what are you reading?
> 
> ...


You're happy because you're clearly impish and enjoy horrifying others. 

The "smile" thing isn't always about how happy you really are, but how happy this person thinks you are. You could be at the Zen-iest peak of inner happiness and if people can't see it... Also, for me it was often a thing said first thing in the morning and while I was still getting my bearings. I'm genetically unable to bounce out of bed with a grin and so when I had early jobs it took me a little while to come out of my stupor. I admittedly wanted no extra human interactions until that happened and so "smile" was just the idiotic thing I didn't want to hear. It made me want to call him in the middle of the night and demand THEY smile or carry on a long discussion. The zone I'm in before I truly wake up is not completely dissimilar to the book reading zone -- where I just want to focus on my own thoughts that are existing on their own plane and am not actually unhappy. Doing anything more is a little painful.


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

MichelleR said:


> You're happy because you're clearly impish and enjoy horrifying others.


 Ohh yeah, we're all baaaaaad about stuff like that in this house. and we routinely do things to each other just for fun.



> I'm genetically unable to bounce out of bed with a grin and so when I had early jobs it took me a little while to come out of my stupor. I admittedly wanted no extra human interactions until that happened and so "smile" was just the idiotic thing I didn't want to hear. It made me want to call him in the middle of the night and demand THEY smile or carry on a long discussion. The zone I'm in before I truly wake up is not completely dissimilar to the book reading zone -- where I just want to focus on my own thoughts that are existing on their own plane and am not actually unhappy. Doing anything more is a little painful.


When I first get up, I promise, my thoughts aren't even in any kind of zone. I stumble around for a good 15 minutes before I can think straight enough to know I have to pee. our DS#2 caught me in one of those early morning fumbles once, scared me quite litterally enough to pee. and thought it was HILARIOUS because HE is a zippy morning person, and he made his 37 yo mom pee her pants. 2 years later he still will randomly bring it up in conversation about once every couple of months with a maniacal, gleefilled face.


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## ClickNextPage (Oct 15, 2009)

purplepen79 said:


> The question/comment that really gets on my nerves is when I'm in deep thought, and someone yells "Smile!" or "What are you looking so sad about?" I'm not sad, I'm thinking.


We we separated at birth?


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## purplepen79 (May 6, 2010)

ClickNextPage said:


> We we separated at birth?


  I've always felt like I had a twin somewhere!


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## julieannfelicity (Jun 28, 2010)

I don't really mind telling someone what I'm reading, and I don't mind telling them about it.  I like to think that if I tell them about it well enough, they'll want to read it too (if I like it).  I love it when my friends tell me about books they've read, which is why I like reading reviews.  Even bad ones.


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## Dee_DeTarsio (Oct 26, 2010)

I'm inherently nosy so I always scan books that other people are reading. With the advent of the kindle, I can't help but wish for a little neon/glow-in-the-dark title bar or, since I'm wishing, hologram!, to alert other readers about what is being read! (The shy introverts could always turn it off!)


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## xandy3 (Jun 13, 2010)

Oh, I REALLY hate it when people bug me with the "what are you reading?" question. Especially at my "night job." For the first 3 hours of my shift, I have the displeasure of sitting at the front desk, and if I take a book with me I get a barrage of nosy people (always the same ones) saying "What are you reading?"

Even if I'm not reading it at the moment, and have it set aside...they LEAN over the desk in an obvious way to try to gawk at the cover. And, when I don't have a book with me that day...people come past and gawk, and look for one and ask "aren't ya' reading anything today?"

I LOVE taking my ipod touch, and reading books on the kindle app for that reason...and just sneaking it in my pocket free of gawkers.

What annoys me the most though, is when people try to tell me what books I _should be_ reading, as if they alone are the harbinger of good taste in literature. This one guy does it all the time, and it drives me crazy with his "Oh you should be reading _this book_ instead!" nonsense. 
Especially since my tastes are WAY different than his.


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

I only have a 1/2 hour for lunch, so I hate being asked what I'm reading then because you're eating into my reading time. I usually just say, it's a trashy romance.  And people leave me alone.


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## Imogen Rose (Mar 22, 2010)

pidgeon92 said:


> Actually, I like to share what I am reading.


Me too.


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## theraven (Dec 30, 2009)

I don't mind sharing what I'm reading, though I have more people asking me about the Kindle and wanting to take a look at it as they were thinking about getting one. I live in  a rural area and not many people have seen an e-reader as there was nowhere close by that had them. (now Walmart has a few on display) Any one who asked was always very polite and thanked me for answering their questions. When I take a paperback, I usually take a book of an author that I love and hope people ask.  It's my way to try and help build up an audience.


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## purplepen79 (May 6, 2010)

scarlet said:


> I only have a 1/2 hour for lunch, so I hate being asked what I'm reading then because you're eating into my reading time. I usually just say, it's a trashy romance. And people leave me alone.


I have the same problem--great suggestion.


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