# Wedding Jitters (was Food for a crowd of 30 people)



## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

In two weeks, we are having a wedding in our backyard. The wedding starts at 11 am and will be catered, so that is all set.

Somehow or another, we agreed to have a party the evening before, also in our backyard. This will be in lieu of a traditional rehearsal dinner--out of town family and friends are invited to join us for an informal meal.

My husband kept calling it a "cookout" and pictured having hamburgers and hot dogs. However, as he thought about it he realized that cooking that much stuff on the grill meant he'd be pretty much parked at the grill and not be available to do other things, like talk to our guests. Also, since it has been raining for a week here, he also got anxious about a plan to be cooking outside. (I am praying for good weather, but I can understand why he is worried.)

So, I am wondering about alternative menus for a crowd of about 30 people. I thought of getting a couple of Boston butts (pork) and slow cooking them for many hours for pulled pork sandwiches, but beyond that, I haven't had many ideas. I did suggest that we could have a wide variety of salads, veggies, etc., and not make the hot protein the centerpiece of the meal.

I am interested in ideas that others might have. Thanks in advance!

L


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Most of the weddings in our family are this way -- informal 'rehearsal dinner' where all the out of town guests are invited.  Usually what we've done is cooked up and sliced a ham, a roast of beef and/or a turkey breast and have it with a choice of rolls.  Pulled pork or shredded beef would be good options as well, but our family REALLY likes ham so it's pretty much a given. 

Also various 'picnic' salads like potato, macaroni, etc.  Often something as well like Crab Louie or some other sort of crab dip and plenty of chips, crackers, raw veggies, dips, and cheeses.  

And then desserts -- not cake usually since there's normally cake the next day, but cookies, brownies, etc. 

Oh, and plenty of beverages. . . . . .

The main thing is do something that you can make ahead so you don't have anyone stuck in the kitchen.   If you're cooking yourself, all of that can be done ahead of time and just heated up on the day.  You can probably rent steam table type serving dishes if needed.


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## HappyGuy (Nov 3, 2008)

Make ahead - yep, that's the key. and cold foods are best; don't try to serve anything hot. Keep it a simple as possible and make it self serve. If there is a Sam's Club or Costco near you get a bunch of cheeses and meats and just cut them into bite sized cubes - fresh veggies and fruits, the same.

If you want to be a bit fancy, try something like this (it's actually fairly easy to make):

http://s406.photobucket.com/user/fearnot1776/media/For%20KBoards/130510FruitTray_zpsde9ddf9b.jpg.html


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## *DrDLN* (dr.s.dhillon) (Jan 19, 2011)

Aren't you lucky? Try some Indian wedding and see what is served.  It's always huge party. I would suggest serve some drinks and get it catered. The easiest to serve at home will be veges and dip for snacks. Then have some sandwiches made ahead of time or get from subway... If any of this is not making any sense just laugh it out.


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

For my wedding, I just got a bunch of assorted subway sandwiches for 20ish people. It was pretty reasonably priced, if you don't feel like cooking anything yourself.


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

For our family wedding last September we had a pizza truck caterer. And lots of beer and wine. It was very casual and stress free. However, I also like the sounds of the pulled pork idea. We had over 100 people. Since the wedding was out of town, everyone was from out of town, so we gathered as many as we could. Another idea is to have a BBQ joint cater for you. The last thing you need is to night before the wedding cleaning up your house.

However, you do it, I know everyone will have a good time.  Jane


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

My current thinking is to have a catered lobster bake. I mean...this is Maine and people expect to eat lobsters, right?

http://www.cascobaylobsterbake.com/

I have actually hired Courtney to do an event in the summer of 2014, so I could call this a trial run.  The number of people is now up to 36 (although there are 4 who need to confirm so it might dip down to 32). She is supposed to be sending me a proposal in the next day or two...let's hope I can afford it!

Courtney comes in, does all the cooking, serves all the food, does all the clean up. I can spend time with my friends, enjoy dinner, then fall into bed for a good night's sleep before all the activity on Saturday. That's the plan, at least.

Plus, I am paying all this money to rent a tent, tables, and chairs, now I get to enjoy them even more!


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## Not Here (May 23, 2011)

Leslie said:


> My current thinking is to have a catered lobster bake. I mean...this is Maine and people expect to eat lobsters, right?
> 
> http://www.cascobaylobsterbake.com/
> 
> ...


Oh that sounds fantastic! I think something like that is a great plan. No point in making it harder on yourself that needed. Sanity has a price. Also, as much as I love family, people can be a real pain when you really don't need it.

Hope everything goes without a hitch and you get to enjoy the special moments.


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

The lobster bake is a great idea! Around here you would never get a caterer on such short notice, though. You deserve to relax and have fun!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> The lobster bake is a great idea! Around here you would never get a caterer on such short notice, though. You deserve to relax and have fun!


I don't have a definite proposal from Courtney but let's hope she is able to do it. It's a Friday evening and early in the season so that is a plus.

The number is now up to 36.

I just got a call from my son that Jocelyn is feeling "disrespected"...sigh...by changing the type of party. She wanted a casual, informal cookout. I certainly want to keep this casual, too. But one thing I've learned is that she is not so great on the details. It's fine to say, "Yeah, we'll cook a bunch of hamburgers and make a bunch of salads..." but exactly who is going to do the cooking and make the salads? And serve? And clean up? And everything else? I am a little annoyed with her but this is a safe place to rant!!

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

A lobster bake sounds like a pretty informal event to me! 

When I have a crowd of people, I find hamburgers one of the hardest  meals to plan around. You need so many things......condiments, lettuce, tomatoes (someone has to slice them), hamburger patties (someone has to form them), buns. Then some people like their buns toasted, some not. It takes a mountain of different mustards to please a crowd. Pickles (dill, bread and butter,  and sweet), relish, onions (again, someone has to slice). And cheese for some, not others.  On top of it, someone has to man the bbq. I intentionally did not say woman the bbq. The hostess has to mingle.

Just a thought....Monday has been known to be a lobster snatcher, so keep the goods out of reach. Maybe a doggie sleepover?

IF you were not having the wedding in your backyard the next day (early in the day, even), I could see having a wing ding of a party at your house the night before. BUT I expect you want to keep the yard intact and the inside picked up. Who is going to haul away the Friday trash to make room for the Saturday trash?

We can all vent, but I know the weekend will be lovely, no matter which direction you plan to go. There were a few major things that did not get pulled off at Dusty and Alyson's wedding weekend, but I don't think anyone even noticed. Stay calm and breathe.  Jane


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Hopefully no old-time Midwest-raised guys like me will be attending who don't eat lobster (or pretty much any seafood). 

But yeah, anything that can fit in your budget while taking some of the pressure off of you sounds like a great idea, especially at a time that probably will be a bit hectic anyway.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Nog, for you, we'll have chicken or a veggie burger. We can make that switch for people who don't eat lobster.

Jane--you've articulated it perfectly. Hamburgers are great but they really aren't that simple. 

I think part of the problem is that lobsters are perceived to be expensive and thus fancy. But here in Maine, they really aren't that expensive and no matter how you serve them, a lobster meal is casual. It has to be, you are eating most everything (lobster, corn, clams) with your fingers. 

Isn't the rehearsal dinner supposed to be the province of the groom's family? Right now I want to say "Butt out" but I realize that is probably not the most politic way to put things...LOL. 

It is my house and my yard and I want everything to be lovely--on Friday night as well as Saturday. I am so annoyed that Jocelyn seems to be creating an issue where none should exist.  

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie, I guarantee that this "blip" will be resolved and a good time will be had by all. Sometimes the wedding plans get in the way of the marriage. Jocelyn will come around. The only clean up will be all those lobster shells. Do they go back into the garden? We have dozens of oyster shells spread around our garden.  

I was so lucky with both weddings we have had, and have the loveliest of DILs. I am sending hugs and best wishes for a smooth operation.    It will all come together! Who could not be impressed by a lobster fest? Except maybe NogDog.


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## Sandpiper (Oct 28, 2008)

NogDog said:


> Hopefully no old-time Midwest-raised guys like me will be attending who don't eat lobster (or pretty much any seafood).


Midwest all my life here. Speak for yourself, Nogdog.  I love fish and seafood! I could live on scallops.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Sandpiper said:


> Midwest all my life here. Speak for yourself, Nogdog.  I love fish and seafood! I could live on scallops.


We were meat and potatoes almost all the time when I was growing up, as we never had any kind of seafood -- and I don't recall either of my grandmothers ever even mentioning preparing fish -- and because my dad couldn't eat poultry, we only had chicken when we ate elsewhere or on the few occasions when he was away on business.

The only exception was canned tuna fish, which my mom used in a pretty good casserole. And I tried fried shrimp once, found it palatable, but I got really sick afterword while nobody else did, pretty much scaring me off of crustaceans in general.


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## StephanieJ (Nov 11, 2010)

I just wanted to say how lovely I think it is you are putting so much care into this.  She is very fortunate and I hope y'all have a WONDERFUL dinner!


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Our daughter's wedding is less than 3 weeks away (Ahhhhh!!!) and we find ourselves hosting the rehearsal dinner in our backyard, as his parents are from a couple of hours away and have not even offered to do anything. We are getting food delivered from a local restaurant - pulled pork, sauce on the side, kaiser rolls, broccoli salad, veggie tray, and for dessert a tray of homemade brownies and cookies. Enough for 35 people and it will cost $275 , which I think is pretty reasonable. Wine and beer also of course. Just hoping it doesn't rain!

The wedding is a at a historic church, reception at a nice hotel ballroom, and then we are also hosting a Sunday brunch in our backyard for family and out of town guests to just drop by. We are making a couple of egg bake casseroles, buying muffins and other pastries, and have a case of Champaigne and a lot of orange juice.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

The bride came over yesterday, frosty as all get out...sigh. I don't think the issue is the lobster (or at least that's not the only issue). I don't think she wanted us to use the tent, tables, and chairs on Friday night, preferring to keep it a "surprise" for everyone to see Saturday morning. But with that thinking, where was I supposed to seat 36 people to eat, no matter what it is, hamburgers or something else?

Apparently she is also annoyed and thinks that I invited too many of "my" friends when the party is supposed to be about "family and the bridal party." I went through the list and of the 36, there are only 4 people (that I invited) who are not family or directly involved in the wedding--but they are some of my oldest and dearest friends and are traveling to be here so I think my invitation is reasonable. 

She also made some odd remark (not directly to me, I heard this from Lance) that she thinks I am going to "sequester" her family and be rude to them. Where on earth this is coming from, I have no idea. I may be lots of things but I am never rude, and I certainly wouldn't be rude to her family! I like her mother quite a bit and we had a good long talk on the phone yesterday going over plans, so I really don't know what Jocelyn is thinking.

I keep telling myself I am lucky--this has been a long engagement and things have gone smoothly for most of the planning. I am sorry that Bridezilla had to emerge in the last two weeks but we'll get over this too...

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

StephanieJ said:


> I just wanted to say how lovely I think it is you are putting so much care into this. She is very fortunate and I hope y'all have a WONDERFUL dinner!


Thank you!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Tam said:


> Our daughter's wedding is less than 3 weeks away (Ahhhhh!!!) and we find ourselves hosting the rehearsal dinner in our backyard, as his parents are from a couple of hours away and have not even offered to do anything. We are getting food delivered from a local restaurant - pulled pork, sauce on the side, kaiser rolls, broccoli salad, veggie tray, and for dessert a tray of homemade brownies and cookies. Enough for 35 people and it will cost $275 , which I think is pretty reasonable. Wine and beer also of course. Just hoping it doesn't rain!
> 
> The wedding is a at a historic church, reception at a nice hotel ballroom, and then we are also hosting a Sunday brunch in our backyard for family and out of town guests to just drop by. We are making a couple of egg bake casseroles, buying muffins and other pastries, and have a case of Champaigne and a lot of orange juice.


This just shows that there are big differences in grooms' families! My sister thinks I am doing too much but it is my yard...

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

The merging of 2 families is tricky, huh? This is all sounding so out of character of the Jocelyn that you have been describing the last year. I can only think that it is nerves. She may have been so focused on the last minute details that she has lost the ability to see the whole picture.  

The last 2 family weddings I have been a part of (two sons), had everyone and their neighbor to the "reharsal" dinner. Both families and many many friends traveled a long distance to attend these weddings, and the kids wanted the chance to visit with as many as they could. The dinners were very casual,  one in a backyard, and one at a winery. However, there were last minute jitters and break-downs before both events. The events went of without a hitch and the young'uns partied the night away. Yours will go well too, and at least you will have the backing of old and dear friends, who will know exactly when to fade in and out.


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## Tracy Falbe (Jul 4, 2010)

Get some tri tip beef roasts and pork loins. They are easy to cook on a grill without too much babying. Use a meat thermometer to test for doneness, especially pork that must reach 160 degrees. When the meat is done, platter it, slice it up, and serve with good rolls for sandwich making. You can have bottles of various bbq sauces available too. Serve with whatever sides you like. I've thrown a few barbeques in my day and meat roasts are about 80 percent easier to serve a crowd than hamburgers or hot dogs. Not really a cheap alternative, but a good one. Hope this helps.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Tracy Falbe said:


> Get some tri tip beef roasts and pork loins. They are easy to cook on a grill without too much babying. Use a meat thermometer to test for doneness, especially pork that must reach 160 degrees. When the meat is done, platter it, slice it up, and serve with good rolls for sandwich making. You can have bottles of various bbq sauces available too. Serve with whatever sides you like. I've thrown a few barbeques in my day and meat roasts are about 80 percent easier to serve a crowd than hamburgers or hot dogs. Not really a cheap alternative, but a good one. Hope this helps.


Thanks for this suggestion. I am still waiting on a quote for the lobster bake. If that doesn't work out, we'll be back to square one. This sounds good. Thanks!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> The merging of 2 families is tricky, huh? This is all sounding so out of character of the Jocelyn that you have been describing the last year. I can only think that it is nerves. She may have been so focused on the last minute details that she has lost the ability to see the whole picture.
> 
> The last 2 family weddings I have been a part of (two sons), had everyone and their neighbor to the "reharsal" dinner. Both families and many many friends traveled a long distance to attend these weddings, and the kids wanted the chance to visit with as many as they could. The dinners were very casual, one in a backyard, and one at a winery. However, there were last minute jitters and break-downs before both events. The events went of without a hitch and the young'uns partied the night away. Yours will go well too, and at least you will have the backing of old and dear friends, who will know exactly when to fade in and out.


I am thinking it is nerves, too, but jeez...this is not a competition, we're all doing our best to make sure this is a wonderful event for all involved. But Jocelyn is turning it into a battle of wills thing that I don't understand (and I am not trying to battle anyone). The caterer came over yesterday to see the yard and talk logistics. I stayed very much in the background and didn't say much. Even so, Jocelyn had her back up and insisted that she and Lance leave early before having lunch. Okay, whatever...

L


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## Tripp (May 28, 2009)

Hang in there Leslie.  It sounds to me like you are doing the right thing and keeping things in perspective.  The wedding and other events around the wedding are only the parties and the marriage is the main event.  I am sure that Jocelyn will settle down after the wedding and how you are keeping your calm now will ensure a good relationship later.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Tripp said:


> Hang in there Leslie. It sounds to me like you are doing the right thing and keeping things in perspective. The wedding and other events around the wedding are only the parties and the marriage is the main event. I am sure that Jocelyn will settle down after the wedding and how you are keeping your calm now will ensure a good relationship later.


Thanks for that reassurance, Tripp!  I needed that!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Now that my husband is snapping at our daughter, it's become clear that we're all a little bit on edge. Let's hope we survive the next 10 days! I've re-titled the thread to more accurately reflect the broader scope of what is going on...LOL.

One thing we did accomplish yesterday--I bought some SureFit covers for the couch, loveseat, and ottoman in the living room. We bought the furniture in there back when Lance was in...maybe 9th grade? Not sure but I always think of it as "teenager furniture" since the pieces were big with lots of cushions which made having impromptu sleepovers possible.

In recent years, the furniture has gotten more banged up by the cat (clawing) and the dogs (sleeping and jumping all over). 

The SureFit covers--I call them couch condoms--actually fit very well and make the furniture look 1000% better (which wouldn't be hard). Now the challenge is to keep the dogs off for the next ten days. We have barricaded them with the dining room chairs. Last night, Monday and Dempsey both slept on the floor in the bedroom. Maybe they will learn over the next 2 weeks...

L


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

even the calmest of people get a bit stressed out by weddings.  make sure you all take time to breath and to spend time on non-wedding things that you all love.  

in the end, it will work out, and everybody will remember the good parts.  well, somebody will remember everything that went wrong, but hopefully you'll laugh at them....

i mean, like the marriage license trying to set itself on fire during the ceremony, the DJ messing up the music for the walks down the aisle (especially the bride's), the table with the place cards catching fire....  (this was all at my niece's wedding last month)

at least at this wedding, i didn't fall! (did that at 2 out of 3 of my siblings' weddings).


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

You have taken on a lot for this wedding....hosting the ceremony and night before at your house. All sounded like a good idea a year ago! Just keep up a good sense of humor, and enjoy the moment. If everyone is fed well, no one will remember the rest. Jane


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## crebel (Jan 15, 2009)

"Couch condoms"...*snort*

Leslie, it sounds like everything will be wonderful.  I'm sure you are correct with renaming the thread and Jocelyn will be pleased when all is said and done.

btw - Happy 35th Anniversary to you on the 2nd!  We didn't act like this before our weddings, did we?


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

crebel said:


> "Couch condoms"...*snort*
> 
> Leslie, it sounds like everything will be wonderful. I'm sure you are correct with renaming the thread and Jocelyn will be pleased when all is said and done.
> 
> btw - Happy 35th Anniversary to you on the 2nd! We didn't act like this before our weddings, did we?


i'm betting if i asked around, crebel, i could find lots of bridzella stories about you...


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

Good luck with everything! Could she be upset because she's worried about how much a catered lobster dinner costs? I know when I got married, I didn't even want a reception, but I had one to please my in-laws, but as they added more guests and food, they got an attitude like I owed them big time for all of it, even though I didn't want it to begin with! I wished we could have kept it smaller and less expensive so I didn't feel so guilty about it.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Leslie, 

it sounds lovely.  I always remind people who are getting married that as long as the bride, groom and the minister/justice/whatever show up, the wedding will take place and the rest are just details.  (I was at one wedding where the minister didn't show up, believe it or not. )

It sounds like wedding nerves to me...take the dogs for a walk and have a glass of wine.  (EDIT:  Not your wedding nerves, Jocelyn's.  )

Betsy


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

*passes the chocolates and ice cream of leslie's choice*


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

crebel said:


> "Couch condoms"...*snort*
> 
> Leslie, it sounds like everything will be wonderful. I'm sure you are correct with renaming the thread and Jocelyn will be pleased when all is said and done.
> 
> btw - Happy 35th Anniversary to you on the 2nd! We didn't act like this before our weddings, did we?


Thank you! It's your 35th anniversary too, right?

I made a reservation for June 1st for the 5 of us at Street & Co. which is my most favorite restaurant in Portland. Lance, Hannah, and Jocelyn have never been there--if I could go every week I would but it's more like every other year. Not because it is particularly expensive but because Tony and I don't tend to go out to dinner in the Old Port all that often and reserve it for special occasions. Which is probably a good thing because it keeps it special.

Let's hope Jocelyn's mood has improved by next Saturday and she's ready to kick back and start enjoying herself.

I was thinking back to my wedding and my mother actually didn't do much and was being a pill (long story there). My two aunts took over and did much/most of the arranging, which was fine with me. I just had to show up. So I am a little mystified at this need for micro-managing right now (especially since she is not good at it).

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

What is the latest on the jitters? Things calming down?


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Thanks for asking, Jane. Yes, things are settling down but now I have a whole new reason for jitters--I just looked at the 10 day forecast and they are predicting a 50% chance of showers on June 8th. Ack! But I keep telling myself that weather forecasters are never accurate 10 days out, right?

I think things are all set for the lobster bake. The number is now up to 38 although not everyone is confirmed. It is going to be a great evening, I am sure, and a wonderful prelude to the wedding. This will be a weekend to remember, that's for sure!

Every time I think everything is all settled, another detail pops up. Yesterday it was waiters' trays and stands. We'll see what today brings.

L


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## Andra (Nov 19, 2008)

Leslie, it's also possible that for some reason Jocelyn is starting to doubt some of her decisions about the wedding details but it's easier to pick at yours.  That way you can start doubting too...  You are doing a great job taking the high road and she will realize that sooner or later.
Good luck!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie, you have tents available if it rains, right? You can always move into the house. That is a choice you would not have if you had the ceremony at a park. I will be keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.


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## FMH (May 18, 2013)

Leslie said:


> Thanks for asking, Jane. Yes, things are settling down but now I have a whole new reason for jitters--I just looked at the 10 day forecast and they are predicting a 50% chance of showers on June 8th. Ack! But I keep telling myself that weather forecasters are never accurate 10 days out, right?
> 
> I think things are all set for the lobster bake. The number is now up to 38 although not everyone is confirmed. It is going to be a great evening, I am sure, and a wonderful prelude to the wedding. This will be a weekend to remember, that's for sure!
> 
> ...


They say when it rains on a wedding day that's good luck for fertility. 

And I hear you about it's not a competition.. people get very serious about weddings, wanting what they want done, done! Hang in there - it's going to end up being a beautiful day!


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

So the lobster bake is a go?  Unless I missed it, the last you mentioned, you were waiting for a quote.  Can I be invited to the wedding?  

Betsy


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> Leslie, you have tents available if it rains, right? You can always move into the house. That is a choice you would not have if you had the ceremony at a park. I will be keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.


Okay, so the 10 day forecast looks better today--now they are saying 67 degrees, partly cloudy, and chance of rain 20%.

I am on the porch right now and it is 68 degrees and this feels perfect. So if we have a day like today (yes, I see a few clouds in the sky, but I don't know if this qualifies as "partly cloudy." It seems clear and beautiful) I will be a happy camper.

Yes, Jane, I do have a contingency tent available for the ceremony but I am hoping we don't need to use it. Fingers crossed!

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> So the lobster bake is a go? Unless I missed it, the last you mentioned, you were waiting for a quote. Can I be invited to the wedding?
> 
> Betsy


Oh, Betsy, we'd love to have you here!

Yes, the lobster bake is a go. I talked to Courtney on Wednesday and finalized the menu. She was supposed to email a contract but I haven't received that yet. I'll call her this morning and hopefully settle all the last details.

One of the things that Jocelyn seemed concerned about was having everyone see the tent and all the decorations, etc., so it wouldn't be a surprise on Saturday. So, I had this idea...

We have two different kinds of chairs rented: these are for the reception










and these are for the ceremony:










For the lobster bake, I thought we could use the ceremony chairs and keep the reception chairs out of sight. Also, for the LB, Courtney brings all the tablecloths--she suggested yellow--plus all the paper plates, knives, forks, etc (all disposable). The LB will have 6 tables to seat 37-38 and a totally different color scheme from the wedding, which will be pink, green, khaki, and white. I am sure the events will look completely different and everyone will be surprised.

Thoughts?

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

If Betsy gets to go, can I come too?    

The LB on Friday, and the ceremony/reception on Saturday will have totally different themes and levels of formality. Sort of like an elegant restaurant with an informal cafe upstairs. On Friday night, after the guests have left you to clean up, you will be so glad you chose a caterer.    

I think your idea of using the folding chairs for Friday night is a great idea. As a matter of practicality, you don't want to smear lobster butter all over those white seats. The folding chairs can just be wiped down. I hope we will get to see lots of pictures!

The LB is going to give everyone a chance to wind down, relax, and visit....before the next day when everyone will have to be on their best behavior. Where will Monday and Dempsey be all this time? J


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Of course you can join in, Jane!

I am already glad I chose a caterer. Every day new details come up. Today it was equipping the bathrooms with tissues, extra rolls of TP, hand sanitizer, liquid soap, and little towels for drying your hands. Some of those things I have, some I didn't--and for some things (like soap) I wanted to have new fresh bottles to put out. So off to the store I go!

I also bought cute little lanterns that hold citronella votive candles for the tables on Friday night. We've haven't had any mosquitoes so far this year, but it's been cold. Today is hot and I expect the bugs to emerge this week so I am trying to be prepared.

The dogs are a quandary. We were talking about various options last night but still haven't come up with a plan.

Chairs--my thoughts exactly, Jane. The white chairs are more summery and casual while the wood chairs (with cloth cushions) are much more formal. Friday is paper plates and plastic tablecloths; Saturday is cloth napkins and white china. Two very different looks.

I have recruited all the groomsmen (4) to come over early Saturday morning and help with setting up chairs and tables. With all those hands, I am sure it will all go quickly. One less thing to worry about.

L


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

I'll come up and take care of the dogs, Leslie, in return for lobster!









Sent from Killashandra, my Fire HD8.9 4G


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Who is in charge of your mother?


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> Who is in charge of your mother?


My mother is not going to be here. She is in Florida where she moved on April 19th. This was going to be the "perfect" move (after the non-so-perfect move to NH in Jan 2012) but within five days she was complaining. On Monday (Memorial Day) she announced that she hates it and has to move back to Maine asap.

When she moved to Florida we all asked, "What's the rush?" and "Don't you want to be here for the wedding?" two questions to which we did not receive very coherent answers. Now she is whining and complaining about not being here but doesn't take any personal responsibility for creating this situation.

My sister is going to FL this weekend for work and will get to spend about 48 hrs with mom, so hopefully she can get a handle on what exactly is going on with her, mentally.

Meanwhile, she is going to miss her only grandson's wedding (namesake of her husband). Don't get me started...

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Sorry I brought up a sensitive subject.    We can compare recent mother crises later in a PM.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> Sorry I brought up a sensitive subject.  We can compare recent mother crises later in a PM.


No, it's okay. I've worked this through in my mind and am accepting, although when people ask, I am reminded again about how completely selfish and ridiculous she is.

I keep telling myself that the positive side of not having her there is that she cannot criticize any- and everything which is her usual MO. It's been a huge weight off my shoulders, not having to worry about whether or not she'll like my dress, the food, is the house clean enough, etc. For the latter, it never would be because she is nasty-neat and I'm not. I'm only barely neat! LOL. And I am sure she'd be horrified at the couch condoms...(did I mention those here? I know I did Facebook).

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

I loved the mention of the couch condoms. We sure could use some in our house!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> I loved the mention of the couch condoms. We sure could use some in our house!


The living room looks amazingly good. The CC really spruce up the place. Plus, we got rid of the old TV (that we never watched) and put our very elegant and beautiful Thos. Moser chair in its place. Now the room looks like a place where you might want to sit and have a conversation, or maybe read a book.

Of course, at the moment we have the dining room chairs on the couches, as an effort to retrain the dogs to stay off. So far it's working. But they do detract a bit from the elegant look. LOL.

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

I think you should keep the dining chairs on the couch for the LB. It will add a renewed sense of informality for the occasion, and not let the guests sully the couches before their time on Saturday.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> I think you should keep the dining chairs on the couch for the LB. It will add a renewed sense of informality for the occasion, and not let the guests sully the couches before their time on Saturday.


Good idea.

So, now we have today's "You've got to be kidding me!" moment.

A few weeks ago, Jocelyn asked me if 4:30 for the rehearsal would be a good time. I said yes and that sort of set the whole Friday night dinner/lobster bake plans in motion. Yesterday I emailed Rev. Will, the man who is going to marry them, outlining the plans for the afternoon and inviting him to the lobsterbake. He wrote back a very gracious note and said he wouldn't be able to join us for dinner and, oh, by the way, could we have the rehearsal at 3:30? He needs to be in Eliot at 6 pm for his stepson's high school graduation.

Although I find it hard to believe, it would seem that Jocelyn set the time of the rehearsal without consulting with the officiant!?!?

L


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Perhaps the Reverend found out about the graduation after the time was set.


Betsy


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Perhaps the Reverend found out about the graduation after the time was set.
> 
> 
> Betsy


Yes, but don't you think he would have communicated that to Jocelyn? And she to me?

L


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## crebel (Jan 15, 2009)

Leslie said:


> Yes, but don't you think he would have communicated that to Jocelyn? And she to me?
> 
> L


You would think that, wouldn't you? It WILL all come together - I'm a firm believer in things happening the way they are supposed to whether we knew they were supposed to be that way ahead of time or not.

Besides, changing things around at the last minute will make Friday night/afternoon seem more informal (which is what Jocelyn wants, right?) You might need a vacation when all is done. Do you have any plans?


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Yes, you would think so...but several (many) years ago, I was at a friend's wedding and the pastor didn't show up.  Turned out he had had a family emergency and had to leave town, and my friend's wedding was in his personal calendar, and the church secretary only called people in the church calendar. (Fortunately, I know several ministers...the wedding took place, albeit a few hours late.) Perhaps Rev. Will also keeps separate calendars...and only just compared the two.  Just sayin'...  It'll be all right. 

Can you change the time?  

Have a glass of wine, pat the dogs.  

Betsy


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Have a few lawn games ready to fill the gap after the rehearsal ends and the LB begins. All the LB guests won't need to be at the rehearsal, right.....like Betsy and me? Having extra beer and wine around won't hurt. 

I agree with Betsy.....all will work out.  Jane


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## *DrDLN* (dr.s.dhillon) (Jan 19, 2011)

I wonder why wedding is not a fun as in other countries like India but a kind of burden.  Are we pushed to the limit and every little thing causes a stress that we can't handle? What happened to the eustress or positive stress crap...lol


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Yes, I believe it will all come together.

I texted Lanced and Jocelyn about the changed time for the rehearsal--no response. Then I called Lance (because I needed to talk about other things) and he said that 3:30 should work just fine. No mention of where the 4:30 time came from and whether Rev. Will was involved in that decision or not. So who knows?

I will need a vacation afterwards. I am taking Monday June 10th off (because I need to be here when they come pick up the tent) but my "real" vacation doesn't come until August 17th.

Meanwhile, I got a call from one of my oldest friends and her husband is in the hospital where he just had a pacemaker inserted (Thurs evening). So now she is not sure she will be able to make it.   They would be driving up from New York. Let's hope they clear him to travel. I would be really disappointed if she didn't make it--she is Lance's godmother.

Tomorrow is my 35th wedding anniversary and tonight we are going out to dinner at Street & Co. Looking forward to that!

L


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## Valerie Alexander (Feb 15, 2013)

This thread is really fun to read!  (And I'm pretty jealous of a lobster bake for a rehearsal dinner).  I've been a bridesmaid seven times and seen even the most lovely women turn into bridezillas.  It makes me think that marriage is the leading cause of divorce.

But I want to share an observation about weddings that people don't often realize -- the collection of people that come together on that day will never be assembled again.  If you haven't already made a list of every single photograph you want, that might be a good thing to occupy the bride's energy.  A cousins photo, a best friends photo, etc.  Give that to the photographer and make sure he/she knows who is important to get pictures of.

I have given this advice to every friend who has ever gotten married, and did I follow it for my own wedding?  Nope!  I am the idiot who doesn't have a single picture of my husband and me with all of our parents.  Our whole thing was to be super casual about everything, but I wish we'd been a lot less casual about this part of it.  The photographer asked if he could bring a date to the wedding and we said yes.  Now, we don't have a single picture of my husband and me dancing.  We have four pictures of the photographer dancing with his date.  

So, I'm tossing that out there.  There will be some once-in-a-lifetime picture opportunities, and believe me, you don't want to regret missing them.

Happy Anniversary and best of luck!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

That's great advice, Valerie. Thank you! The photographer is the dad of one of Lance's friends (one of his groomsmen). Eric his a hobby photographer, not a professional, but he does a good job. Jocelyn and Lance met with him yesterday and Jocelyn said she wanted a lot of candid photographs. That's fine, up to a point but you're right, this group of people will likely never be together again. My brother-in-law even commented to me that it is fun to have everyone get together for a wedding, not a funeral. 

I so hope my friend Cathy can make it (she's the one with the husband with a new pacemaker). We've been friends for close to 50 years. My other oldest friend, Chipper--friends since 2nd grade so that is 50 years--will also be here. We need a picture of the three of us!

L


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## JETaylor (Jan 25, 2011)

This thread is fun and a bit educational to read for me.  My daughter has just started planning her wedding - she has a date but - and it's a big but for now, her boyfriend hasn't officially proposed.  Even though they set the date, so I'm sitting back and waiting for the ring while she goes on the begginings of a planning frenzy.  

The good thing, my daughter is going to school for wedding planning, so I'm positive there will be few hiccups - theoretically.  

She wanted the wedding/reception in Maine, in the town we have our summer place - so this thread is doubly interesting to me. 

I hope the weather is bright and sunny for you next weekend.  I'm kind of wishing we were up there this weekend to enjoy the weather - but hubby is out of town and the kids had events.  

Happy anniversary!  June weddings are special.


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

I recently went to a wedding, of the oldest granddaughter of a friend (I had lived with her planning for the wedding for a year.. since grandma was heavily involved in making about a hundred picture frames, each painted and then decorated, plus many other items..

Part of their photography package/contract included a photobooth.

The photographer brought along a large assortment of goofy wigs, hats, glasses and other accessories and people of every age went into the booth (later there were people dancing in Viking helmets, wigs and caps for awhile..

Apparently the main page for the photographs includes one of me and her grandma.. looking quite demented.  I haven't seen the one of her Chinese grandparents, but I know they went into the booth.  You could have three pictures in color or in black and white.  You got two copies (strips of three) and all of the photobooth photos were to be included on the DVD they got.

This was almost more fun than the formal pics and candids, though of course they had those too.

I haven't seen the whole set but wonder how many during the ceremony featured all those arms in the air, clutching cell phones, pads and tablets, snapping pictures.  I swear the guy in front of me didn't actually SEE one minute of the ceremony; he was too busy blocking my view while taking pictures with a tablet of some sort.  I had to dodge from side to side to avoid that.

I would be tempted to collect all the devices at the door!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Lance and Jocelyn thought about a photo booth but it was expensive and they decided to pass on it.

We had a very nice dinner out last night. A great way to celebrate our anniversary and their upcoming wedding. Street & Co. is my favorite restaurant in Portland and once again, they didn't disappoint. It was a new experience for Hannah, Lance, and Jocelyn and they all loved it.

L & J were fine with moving the rehearsal to 3:30 but no mention of why the mix-up in time with Rev. Will. I'll just let this one go.

L


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## Valerie Alexander (Feb 15, 2013)

Oh, Leslie, I am so glad I wrote, because Lance and Jocelyn's attitude is exactly what ours was -- a family friend as the photographer and wanting only candid shots.  As a result, we have so many snapshots of people eating and talking, so we know who was there, and I look at them and wish desperately that I had pictures of all of us together.  Worse, our family friend photographer had a camera that had all kinds of special effects features, and her used them in almost every shot, so the pictures look more like a JJ Abrams movie (lens flares, wavy faces, etc.) than wedding pics.  

I have over a hundred cousins, and so many of them came, of all generations, and a picture of all of us together would have been such a treasure, especially since one of my favorite older cousins is no longer with us. You are right to want a pic with your three oldest friends (I so hope the one can make it!), and if you make a list, that will give the photographer something to pay attention to on a day when you are so crazed you're otherwise likely to forget your underwear, let alone what pictures you might want.

We scattered 15 disposable cameras around the room and told everyone that if you see one, pick it up and take a picture.  Those were nice, but only about 10% were any good.

Yes, candid and casual is great.  Don't want to photographer to be obtrusive.  But still...


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

More on photographs...

One wedding I attended, the photographer went to each table during the reception and asked to take a group picture of everyone at that table.  We sort of scooted so we'd all be on one side of the table.  I thought this was a good idea because she did get people together in family or friend units.  And they're already together, at least in small groups.  A larger group (all the cousins) would of course have to be arranged separately.

Betsy


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## Meemo (Oct 27, 2008)

Seamonkey said:


> I haven't seen the whole set but wonder how many during the ceremony featured all those arms in the air, clutching cell phones, pads and tablets, snapping pictures. I swear the guy in front of me didn't actually SEE one minute of the ceremony; he was too busy blocking my view while taking pictures with a tablet of some sort. I had to dodge from side to side to avoid that.
> 
> I would be tempted to collect all the devices at the door!


I just read an article online by a photographer talking about how many professional wedding shots are ruined by the well-meaning amateur photographers, with their flashes washing out the color in pictures, standing in the way of the actual photographer, etc. She said that some officiants are now asking at the beginning of the ceremony for the guests to please just enjoy the ceremony and be "present" for the moment, and let the photographer do his/her job of recording the moment. I don't remember the exact wording but it was nicely said, but still got the point across.

ETA - Found it! 
"Prior to the ceremony, the officiant read this: "Welcome, friends and family! Good evening, everyone. Please be seated. Dan and Jennifer invite you to be truly present at this special time. Please, turn off your cell phones and put down your cameras. The photographer will capture how this moment looks -- I encourage you all to capture how it feels with your hearts, without the distraction of technology. If Dan can do it, then so can you."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bridal-guide/why-you-might-want-to-con_b_3331528.html

(Hope I'm not giving you one more thing to stress about, Leslie!)


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Meemo said:


> "Prior to the ceremony, the officiant read this: "Welcome, friends and family! Good evening, everyone. Please be seated. Dan and Jennifer invite you to be truly present at this special time. Please, turn off your cell phones and put down your cameras. The photographer will capture how this moment looks -- I encourage you all to capture how it feels with your hearts, without the distraction of technology. If Dan can do it, then so can you."
> 
> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bridal-guide/why-you-might-want-to-con_b_3331528.html


Thanks for posting this - it is just what we need for our daughter's wedding on June 15. I have been to so many weddings where the cell phone photos are just nonstop ( fortunately haven't seen any tablets up in the air blocking people's views!)

We are also worried about my husband's sister who brings her camera everywhere and takes a jillion photos. She is a scrapbooker and is pretty obsessed. We have often commented that she is so obsessed with getting perfectly posed photos of the moment that she does not know how to actually experience the moment! She offered to save us the expense of a professional photographer and is rather insulted that we did not take her up on it. She has also offered to come to our house on the morning of the wedding day to record all the special times - but we asked her to please stay at the motel with her mom and help get her ready for the day (she uses a walker and has a lot of difficulty getting around.) Hopefully she will respect our wishes, but a statement at the beginning of the ceremony will help a lot.

I am enjoying reading about your plans Leslie, and hope everything goes smoothly. I made the mistake of looking at the extended forecast and saw a prediction of 89 for our day. The wedding is in an old historic church with no air conditioning or fans (no electricity at all) but the ceremony is pretty simple so it will not be too long and drawn out. We plan to have a cooler of cold water bottles to pass out to guests outside after the ceremony, and my daughter made beautiful decorative fans for folks to pick up when they come in.

Our rehearsal dinner is also at our home, hopefully in the backyard. We are having a simple catered picnic, as the groom's family has not offered to help with any of it. But then my husband started planning a brunch for the morning after the wedding, and it has taken on a life of its own. When he went out yesterday, less than 2 weeks before the wedding, and bought invitation cards, then proceeded to ask me to type up an elaborate invite to mail out to 60 people (not to include ANY of the groom's family) - I drew the line. Our daughter and I had envisioned a simple brunch to be offered to the out of town family and friends - and he is trying to turn it into a family reunion bigger than the rehearsal dinner and nearly as big as the reception! He has been pushing all my buttons with all of the wedding planning - making every detail much more complicated than necessary, wanting to control absolutely everything, even sticking his nose into her bridal shower planning - we have suggested he can star in the first episode of a new reality series called Dadzilla.... The things she actually wanted him to help with (making the program for the ceremony for example) he won't do, but he wants to micromanage everything else. I am trying to reign him in but he is really on a roll. Hopefully he will calm down a bit this week.

Sorry to take up so much space on your thread - but i think i needed the venting! Good luck with the weather Leslie, and best wishes for everything else for your son's wedding!


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

My Dad got a cell phone call as he was about to walk me down the aisle. He actually looked at his cell phone. My Dad is the one who complains about cell phones in restaurants, movies, peoples hands so I was more then a bit shocked. I had a few cousins ask if there was a moment of doubt because there was a few minute pause between my Groom getting into position and my walking down the aisle. 

So yeah, a cell phone announcement is a good idea. 

We have a family friend who is a professional photographer. He went nuts at the wedding and we are thrilled that he did. He knew to stay out of the professionals way but we got a second set of professional quality shots taken with a different bent. He enjoyed the wedding as well but he loves to take pictures and had a grand time snapping a few hundred.

I would recommend a list of pictures that the bride and groom want taken so that the photographer has something to check off. It will help him/her and make sure that the important shots get taken. We missed a few which would have been nice to have.


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

One more thing, you can become a minsiter through various programs online. It might not hurt to have someone on hand who has the necessary paper work just incase something happens to the Minister. I have a few cousins who serve as back ups.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Tam, no need to apologize for taking up too much space! I like to read what others are going through.

Meemo, thanks for that little quote. I think I'll send it to Rev. Will. 

I just read the extended forecast and it says 30% chance of showers on Friday and 60% on Saturday. Oh no....

L


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

That is why you have the tent. It is not ideal but you are prepared for it. You cannot change the weather so stop looking and just prepare as best as you can.

Have you thought about getting the dogs some dog beds during this time? Maybe you can get them used to using the dog beds and help keep them off the furniture when the chairs are no longer in the way.


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## Meemo (Oct 27, 2008)

Leslie said:


> Tam, no need to apologize for taking up too much space! I like to read what others are going through.
> 
> Meemo, thanks for that little quote. I think I'll send it to Rev. Will.
> 
> ...


Yay! Glad you liked the quote - I do hope that catches on. (My own DH was guilty of using his iPhone to take a quick video of our granddaughters as flower girls in a wedding a couple of weeks ago, but he sat at the end of the pew and was as unobtrusive as possible. If I'd seen that before the wedding though, I'd have sent it to the bride!)

My 2 girls got married 10 years ago - within 3 months. The day after the older one's wedding, we were ordering invitations for the younger one. It was madness, but in a way easier - it was a bit like planning one wedding even though they were entirely different. 
Anywhooo...the younger one got married outside. It rained all week (early March in NW Florida, which is a dicey time to try an outdoor wedding anyway, but we had the contingency plan of moving it indoors if necessary). Friday was absolutely gorgeous for the rehearsal. Saturday dawned foggy and cool, and never got much better. My daughter's one "bridezilla" moment was when DH asked whether she wanted to set up the chairs for the ceremony inside or out. She said "Is it raining" (With a definite "tone".) He said no. "Then OUTSIDE." She wasn't quite yelling, but he just said "OK" and backed out of the room. LOL It was chilly (my poor mom was in declining health and was freezing) but the ceremony was short & sweet, and the pics were actually quite nice, at least there was no squinting in the bright sun.

Oh and the other issue...the wedding was on the local Air Force base, on the bay, which was lovely. But a plane coming in to land crashed short of the runway shortly before the wedding - actually crashed outside the base as I recall. We didn't hear it, and luckily I just made it back out to the base before it happened (had been running back & forth between house & the club) - but the flower girl's mom didn't make it in time for the wedding, got stuck in traffic. And very fortunately, the pilot wasn't in the plane, was able to eject before it crashed. So it made for a good story afterwards...


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

MamaProfCrash said:


> That is why you have the tent. It is not ideal but you are prepared for it. You cannot change the weather so stop looking and just prepare as best as you can.


I have a tent for the reception. I don't have a tent for the ceremony but we can rent one in an emergency--however, right now I'd rather not lay out another $525. I feel like I am hemorrhaging money at this point.

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

I am home for just a few minutes and then it is back up to the mountains where we are spending the week on the Icicle River. I have missed this thread for a few days!

Dusty and Alyson had the most awesome photographer at their wedding. They must have made a list before hand of what groups they wanted in pictures. There are plenty of candid group shops, but I think they got every angle of family members, generations, college friends, medical school friends, cousins, etc. that was possible. The photographer was everywhere, and yet he was very discreet. I think I shared some of the pictures with Leslie, but they were awesome. For Christmas they gave us an album that they had set up. Then they gave us the thumb drive with all the pictures so we could pick and chose which one we want to get printed. There are so many we haven't even begun to go through them. 

I am keeping my fingers crossed for the best weather for you, and for all the nerves to quiet down on Friday. Get on with the show!  Jane


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

Leslie said:


> I have a tent for the reception. I don't have a tent for the ceremony but we can rent one in an emergency--however, right now I'd rather not lay out another $525. I feel like I am hemorrhaging money at this point.
> 
> L


Shouldn't the ones getting married pay for something like that?? I assume they're the ones who decided to have an outdoor wedding.


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## JETaylor (Jan 25, 2011)

I'm hoping the weekend turns out nice - maybe the weather event will be Sunday instead of Saturday.  Let's all do an anti-rain dance for Leslie! 

Meanwhile, my daughter gave my husband a heads up today that her beau will be having a chat with him very soon.  She also told him they picked out a date - June 2015 - so he has a little while to come to terms with it.  She's young - just 18 and finished her freshman year of college this year in lieu of her senior year of high school.  She actually is scheduled to graduate college in three years too (May 2015).  The girl is a speeding freight train when she makes up her mind.  The good thing - she's going to school for wedding planning and I think she is going to volunteer to have the school's wedding class plan her wedding.  The class is comprised of mostly seniors that compete and present proposals to the bride and groom.  She was in the class last semester and won the wedding challenge - which is an honor, especially since she was a freshman in a class of seniors. Perhaps we'll be lucky enough to have someone like her, who can deliver every nuance of what she wants along with staying within budget. 

I don't have a home with a big enough yard to support a wedding like you do, Leslie, and I give you a world of credit for hosting the wedding - that is a great deal of work and really a huge savings to your son and soon-to-be daughter-in-law.  I hope you're she can really appreciates what you're doing.  And a Lobster bake is such a cool idea for a casual rehearsal dinner! 

Good luck - I know I'll be doing an anti-rain dance for y'all.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

◄ Jess ► said:


> Shouldn't the ones getting married pay for something like that?? I assume they're the ones who decided to have an outdoor wedding.


Yes, that would be nice but they keep telling me how broke they are....sigh.

Meanwhile, from NOAA:

.LONG TERM /WEDNESDAY NIGHT THROUGH MONDAY/...
THE MAIN STORY DURING THE PERIOD CONTINUES TO BE THE POTENTIAL FOR
A HEAVY RAINFALL BETWEEN LATE THURSDAY AND SATURDAY. THE LATEST
MODELS AND ENSEMBLES CONTINUE TO ADVERTISE A GRADUALLY AMPLIFYING
TROUGH MOVING FROM THE MIDWEST TOWARD THE EAST COAST TOWARD THE
WEEKEND. AT THE SAME TIME...A TROPICAL DISTURBANCE IN THE GULF OF
MEXICO IS EXPECTED TO AT LEAST PARTIALLY PHASE WITH THIS TROUGH.
THIS WOULD ALLOW FOR DEEP TROPICAL MOISTURE TO BE BROUGHT UP INTO
NEW ENGLAND...AND POTENTIALLY ALLOWING FOR A HEAVY RAINFALL LATE
THIS WEEK INTO SATURDAY. PLENTY OF DETAILS STILL NEED TO BE IRONED
OUT...BUT WE ARE PRETTY CERTAIN LATE THURSDAY INTO EARLY SATURDAY
WILL BE WET...WITH THE POTENTIAL FOR A PERIOD OF HEAVY
RAINS...WHICH COULD ALLOW FOR FLOODING. IT LOOKS LIKE WE START THE
DRYING OUT PROCESS LATER ON SATURDAY BEFORE THE NEXT POTENTIAL
RAINMAKER ARRIVES MONDAY OR MONDAY NIGHT.

Looks like I need to call and order up the second tent. Sigh...


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

Are his parents kicking anything in?

We talked to my parents about paying for the wedding. They gave us a number they were comfortable with, we covered everything over that.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

MamaProfCrash said:


> Are his parents kicking anything in?
> 
> We talked to my parents about paying for the wedding. They gave us a number they were comfortable with, we covered everything over that.


Her parents. I am the mother of the groom.

Her parents gave Jocelyn a check for $3000 and said she could do whatever she wanted with it. That was their contribution. The original idea was that we would also pay ~$3000 and then their (Lance and Jocelyn) expenses would be about the same. That was the plan. However, the original tent rental (and dishes, silverware etc) was $3300, so right off the bat we were over budget. Then I volunteered to buy the wine, with the caveat that I get to keep any extra wine. They wanted to buy box o'wine and I said no, we were not serving Franzia at a wedding! Then the porta-potty: $108. And I started buying stuff to spruce up the house (like the couch covers and stuff for the bathroom)--another $500 for all that (granted, this is not exclusively a wedding expense). On a whim, I bought personalized M&Ms (which was a good thing since Jocelyn never got around to doing any favors for guests): $169.

Lance and Jocelyn: paid for the caterer (~$2000), beer (?), champagne (?), flowers (?), their rings (~$1700), invitations ($200), band ($600), officiant ($400), bartender ($200), alterations for Lance's tuxedo ($75), alterations for Jocelyn's dress (~$375), cupcakes (~$250), honeymoon (~$1000).

Jocelyn's grandmother paid for her dress ($1300).

Part of the reason I am feeling so broke is that my husband's car needed a $750 repair two weeks ago and then I needed a new battery ($155). And we had our fancy dinner out on Saturday night ($300). My poor Visa card has smoke coming off the edges!

My business paid for the lobster bake so that is not even counted in all this.

Well, writing all this out has been helpful--I still wish I could avoid the extra tent fee but it looks like mother nature is not going to cooperate on that for me!

L


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## HappyGuy (Nov 3, 2008)

For my daughter's wedding, the photographer did all of the "posed" pictures BEFORE the wedding so that was out of the way and things could proceed smoothly after the ceremony. Worked out great!


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

I'm always fascinated/horrified by how much weddings cost. I think mine was around $500 total, including food, dress, favors, etc. If I were you, I'd be telling them to cancel their honeymoon and pay for the tent themselves, but you're much nicer than me.


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

It sounds like a reasonably priced wedding. We treated ours as one big party that we wanted everyone to have fun at. We spent more then the current wedding under discussion but that was affordable for all involved. Leslie, I would talk to them about what they are contributing. You have gone over your budget by a good amount. They should be able to chip in, even if it is $100 a month for a few years. 

The key is doing something that you can afford and be happy with. We had an outdoor wedding but I insisted on a location with an indoor option because you don't know what the weather will be like. It is a bit more expensive but the security was well worth it for us. 

Hopefully you are ok with the current siutation. If not you need to have an uncomfortable conversation with the bride and groom.


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

You are being very generous in your contribution to giving them a lovely wedding. In our case, the parents of the groom made it clear they could not afford to help in any way - which was not a surprise as they barely raised him and have not helped him out since he moved out on his own after high school. (I will not go into detail about them using their children's names and social security numbers to get cell phones and then not paying the bills and screwing up their credit, as nothing can be done about it unless the kids were willing to press charges... They did this to the oldest boy as he had same first name as the dad, and to their daughter who was named after her mom. It almost seems like they planned it that way when naming their children!)

We are paying all costs of the reception - which is actually not too bad in our part of the country - $45 a plate. This includes wonderful food, unlimited beer and wine, but not open bar. The kids are paying $500 for a limited open bar tab - when it is done the bar becomes a cash bar. (The hotel will tell them when the limit is close, and they can opt to keep the bar open longer for another $500.) This is much less than the cost of having unlimited open bar for the whole evening, and should be enough to keep people happy. We invited a LOT of people but the final guest count is at 135 right now, so in my opinion it is an affordable reception.

Our daughter paid for her own dress at $2000, the photographer, they both paid for the rings, and will be paying the florist - who is local and known for doing beautiful flowers at very reasonable cost. They took their dad's demand suggestion on a DJ because he knows the guy through Boy Scouts. The DJ and his wife never had them sign a contract so we have absolutely no idea of the cost. I have asked my husband to call and talk to them and he never gets around to it. (I do know for sure they will be there as they called my daughter to remind her they need to be provided with meals and places to sit.) He does have a reasonably good reputation and they will be meeting with the kids the week before the wedding to plan the music and his role as an MC. I just told my husband that he needs to be prepared to pay whatever it costs as he is the one who insisted they use this DJ. Their one big extravagance was the videographers. It is costing $2000 plus they had to make a hotel reservation for them and they will be fed at the reception. I am not sure why they did that - they thought having a photo booth was ridiculous at $1000. I think they just fell in love with the video from a couple of friends weddings and didn't really think about how expensive it would be. The price includes travel costs as the videographers are traveling from CT to PA for the wedding.

Unexpected expenses were incurred because both our daughter and future son-in-law ended up getting jobs here in PA and have moved right before the wedding. Our daughter is actually staying in a hotel provided by her work as they wanted her to keep working longer. She finishes up on Friday, picks up her wedding dress, and heads home. They found a rental about 6 miles from us, out in the country. They are going from CT and all its hustle, traffic, and craziness to Central PA and will be living in a village near dairy farms. They even have Amish neighbors. The unexpected move has added a LOT of stress to the wedding planning though!

DH did finally back down from the elaborate Sunday brunch. He agreed to keep it informal and reasonable, and to ditch the mailed invitations. He also ditched his plans to have breakfast out with his guy friends followed by hiking with them on the morning of the wedding, when our daughter told him she had envisioned us having a family breakfast together including him making waffles like he used to when they were kids. She told him that she was hurt by him planning to be away most of the day until time to get ready for the wedding. He just had not even thought about it and when she communicated what she wanted he was happy to oblige and flattered that she wants him as such a big part of her morning.

Our son is coming home from CO where he is in grad school, and his girlfriend we have never met is also flying in. I am excited to meet her, but worried because the extended family, including my mother-in-law, are horrified that she is Vegan. (As if it is even their business! Our son innocently told them and never expected there would be so much consternation...) We have asked them not to comment on it to her - but cannot trust them not to be rude. We did plan to have plenty of food in the house to accommodate her diet, as well as a vegan entree for her at the reception. Our son says she is not too fussy about it when at these kind of events - for example, she will eat a small piece of wedding cake even though it has butter in it.

Leslie, I hope the rain isn't too bad on the wedding day. I am sending positive thoughts your way that you all have a wonderful time!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

HappyGuy said:


> For my daughter's wedding, the photographer did all of the "posed" pictures BEFORE the wedding so that was out of the way and things could proceed smoothly after the ceremony. Worked out great!


Great suggestion. Thanks for this.

I sent Jocelyn the link to the HuffPo story that Meemo referenced earlier...it had some good examples of pictures ruined by amateur photographers. I think she took the message to heart and will ask to have cellphones, etc., off during the ceremony.

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

I called to reserve the extra tent, so now we have two. The original (30' x 75') and this new one that is 20' x 40'. They can connect them together--I am envisioning an L shape (the 20' edge connects to the 75' side). So we should have lots of covered room to stay dry. With this configuration, the ceremony would be in the smaller area and then everyone can walk over to the other part for the reception and not have to go out in the rain. And--if a miracle occurs and it is not raining, we can have the ceremony outside in the same place where it was originally planned. It will all work out, one way or another.

The porta-potty arrived yesterday. It looks brand new--no scratches or dents from a previous life at a state park or construction site. LOL.

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

In my efforts to spruce up the bathrooms, I was hunting for hand towels and discovered these:










Maybe everyone else knows about these but they are new to me and they seem terrific. Nice and soft and very absorbent. The cellophane across the front of the box comes off so it is very plain and doesn't have all that advertising.

L


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

Awesome. A new find. What are you doing with the dogs during the ceremony and reception? Are they going to a friends house or hanging out in a bedroom or hanging with the guests.

I am trying to picture you in your great looking dress bending over picking up dog poop....


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

If you have Amazon Prime you can order 6 boxes with free shipping:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00BFUSDO4/ref=oh_details_o00_s01_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

As for the dogs, they are going to be here at home. My husband thinks they'll be okay. One advantage of cool, cloudy, rainy weather is that we can put them in the car which acts like a big giant crate for them.

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

The latest weather: now it looks like Friday is going to be the lousy day with lots of rain; Saturday there is going to be some rain (early) then turning cloudy with some breaks of sun in the afternoon.

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

The fun is beginning!


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Leslie!!!

Pace yourself while it's all going on!

Hey, if you need to offset the cost of the wedding, here's an idea from the Miss Manners advice column that the Washington Post carries:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-honest-conversation-about-religion-requires-a-step-back/2013/05/21/55ab0f7c-be58-11e2-9b09-1638acc3942e_story.html



> Our family attended a wedding reception where each table had a centerpiece and an envelope asking the wedding guests to contribute toward the young couple's life together by purchasing the centerpiece. A price tag was attached.


 

Betsy


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Honestly, sometimes I just can't imagine what people are thinking.

One good thing about having the ceremony and reception in the same place is that we won't have to wait hours for the bride and groom to arrive. And we'll certainly have better food than cheese cubes and chicken wings!

Meanwhile, I am impatiently waiting for the bride to show up to have a conversation with the tent guys about location. 

Fingers drumming...

L


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

I wonder how Monday will react to all the changes to her yard?

Betsy


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

Probably poorly because you know Monday is a baket case who cannot have another dog around, has to eat a specific food, and needs some other specialized care...


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Well, she also seems a little ADHD to me, and somewhat distractable, so I would think there would be SOME reaction.  It doesn't seem to me that Dempsey would care much.  

Betsy


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Thanks for the tip on the Kleenex hand towels! I ordered a 3 pack. We have the rehearsal dinner, the bridesmaids here on the morning of the wedding for hair and makeup, along with the videographers and photographers, and then the people for the dreaded Sunday Brunch.   Those towels will be perfect in our downstairs bathroom to prevent a grungy hand towel. Thank goodness for Amazon Prime - it's gotten me a ton of fast deliveries!

Your yard will be transformed into Wedding Central before you know it! Looking good!

Leslie - what kind of dogs do you have? I tend to blur my message boards and somehow I am picturing greyhounds in my head because I also frequent Greytalk, a forum for folks with retired racing greyhounds. The look is very similar to this board, and sometimes I forget what topic I am reading where. I no longer have a greyhound, as she has passed, but she was a fantastic dog. My little 15 year old fluffy guy Arthur will be going to the kennel, along with my daughter's wildly enthusiastic puggle, the day before the wedding and staying until Monday morning.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

MamaProfCrash said:


> Probably poorly because you know Monday is a baket case who cannot have another dog around, has to eat a specific food, and needs some other specialized care...





> Well, she also seems a little ADHD to me, and somewhat distractable, so I would think there would be SOME reaction. It doesn't seem to me that Dempsey would care much.


Prof is quoting Bonnie (so correctly) and Betsy is assessing the real Monday. You guys know me too well.

Dempsey won't care but Monday will definitely notice. Whether she has a reaction will be interesting to see. I'll keep everyone posted.

Right now I am having a reaction--as in being pissed off at the bride and to a lesser extent, the groom. Yesterday, I called to order the second tent. I was sitting in the same room as Jocelyn and even spoke to her about how we wanted them set up--separately or connected. I distinctly said, "They are loading the truck today [Tuesday] and will be delivering the tent first thing tomorrow morning--should be there by 9 am." She has made this big deal about wanting to be here when they set up the tent and make sure it was exactly where she wanted it in the yard so I wanted her to know when it was arriving.

As a reminder, my husband sent a text last night (around 10 pm) reminding Jocelyn that the tent was being delivered first thing this morning. Then my son called early this morning (8 am) to ask about the plans. So that is three different times that the message was conveyed: rental company arriving at 9 am.

At 9:30 am I get this slightly nasty text from Jocelyn saying that "no one told me the tent was arriving this early in the morning." HUH?? Then she says, "I have to go pick up my parents and will be there as soon as I can." Things are further complicated by the fact that her parents don't have a cellphone so there is no way to easily communicate with them. So who knows if they are going to be up and ready to get here asap?

The good news is that the tent guys (4 of them) were extremely nice and extremely gracious. When I told them they would need to wait for the bride to determine the final set up, they were fine with that. The time did drag on (Jocelyn & Co. didn't show up until 10:45!). When they had finished unloading the truck and Jocelyn still hadn't arrived, I suggested they head down to Dunkin' Donuts for a coffee break, which they did. That neatly took care of 20 minutes.

Finally, Jocelyn arrives, looks around and basically agrees with everything I had already suggested. The tent guys get to work putting the tents up (which took way longer than I expected). Everyone sat around for a little while and chatted, then Jocelyn says she and her mother are off to the Farmer's Market to buy flowers.

Lance and Jocelyn's dad, Bill, stay behind to watch the dogs. Lance asks me where I ordered the wine from--our favorite place downtown, I said, Martini Lane. Turns out he hasn't ordered the champagne yet. (!?!). He muses that maybe he can go downtown and order some champagne. I asked him if he had any money for a tip for the tent guys. No, he says but maybe he'll stop at the ATM. But then he doesn't do either one! No money, no champagne ordered. Sigh...

Jocelyn and her mother return from the Farmer's Market with some lovely flowers. Tent guys are still hard at work. By now it is around 1 pm and Jocelyn announces she is hungry. "Let's go back to Saco and have some lunch," she says. No mention of inviting me or Hannah (I couldn't leave anyway since the tent guys aren't done). Everyone heads out the door leaving me to finish overseeing the tent installation, finding $40 in MY wallet for a tip, and ordering a pizza for lunch for Hannah and me. Humphf!

Right now the bride is acting like a spoiled brat and I want to slap her silly. I think Lance was a little embarrassed about not inviting me for lunch but he is being swept along in the tide of wedding planning--still, he could have ponied up a tip for the tent guys! Deep breaths, I keep telling myself...

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Tam said:


> Thanks for the tip on the Kleenex hand towels! I ordered a 3 pack. We have the rehearsal dinner, the bridesmaids here on the morning of the wedding for hair and makeup, along with the videographers and photographers, and then the people for the dreaded Sunday Brunch.  Those towels will be perfect in our downstairs bathroom to prevent a grungy hand towel. Thank goodness for Amazon Prime - it's gotten me a ton of fast deliveries!


I have a feeling the hand towels are going to be the hit of the party.



> Your yard will be transformed into Wedding Central before you know it! Looking good!


It is looking good, however...this is where I need everyone's advice.

They enclosed the tent with walls (preparing for rain). The walls have "windows" in them that look sort of like cathedral windows. Each 
panel is 30' long and I think there are 7 or 8 panels to enclose everything. Each panel has 3 "windows." On all of the panels, except one, the windows look the same. There is one panel, however, where the windows are slightly different (I think it is an older style panel because it also looks a little more used). Question: do I call and ask for a different panel so they all look the same? The rental guys are coming back on Friday to bring a few more things (glasses, cushions, pink napkins) so they wouldn't have to make an extra trip--just bring the panel at that time. Or am I being OCD about this? I am paying $4000 for all this stuff and I think this should be as close to perfect as it can possibly be for that kind of money. Still, maybe I am being ridiculous. Thoughts are welcome and appreciated!



> Leslie - what kind of dogs do you have? I tend to blur my message boards and somehow I am picturing greyhounds in my head because I also frequent Greytalk, a forum for folks with retired racing greyhounds. The look is very similar to this board, and sometimes I forget what topic I am reading where. I no longer have a greyhound, as she has passed, but she was a fantastic dog. My little 15 year old fluffy guy Arthur will be going to the kennel, along with my daughter's wildly enthusiastic puggle, the day before the wedding and staying until Monday morning.


We did have a retired racing greyhound named Jessie--she was with us for 9 years (came to us when she was 3). She was very sweet and we loved her a lot. Now we have two different rescue dogs: a standard poodle named Monday (we adopted her in 2011) and a Brittany named Dempsey (adopted in 2012). They are both great although Monday is a little hyper and Dempsey is the most laid back Brittany on the face of the earth...LOL.

L


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Can you post a pic of the tent windows?  How different are they?


Betsy
Sent from my iPod Touch using Tapatalk


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Oh my goodness, Leslie - I feel for you about the rudeness of your future daughter-in-law arriving late and clueless for the tent set-up, and then not inviting you out for lunch or offering to bring something back for you. And the matter of the tip for the tent guys is even worse. I know their brains are mush from this pre-wedding craziness, but those things are pretty inexcusable! I could advise you to be firmer and let them know that things like tips are their responsibility, not yours - and that you are spending a huge amount of money that THEY should be spending - but I am a total pushover and not good at confronting those things either. Even when I AM able to stand up for myself, sometimes I'm so taken by surprise by the total gall of people that I freeze up on thinking of the correct thing to say until it's too late. So even though I am no good at this stuff at all - I do think that you might want to clear the air a little and talk about expectations. Are you expected to pay for every single thing right up till this wedding is over? Just because you are helping them out does not mean you are willing to take over all of the expenses, including the tips! Yikes!

Yesterday my future son-in-law took a half day off work to be home when the internet was to be hooked up in their new rental. He called me and said he was trying to set up Kerry's computer as it will have to be hard-wired to the modem (it does not have wifi). He had unpacked the computer but the power cord was missing. I told him we have multiple extra power cords at our office from extinct computers and I could bring him one. (I work with my husband in his dental office so I do have a lot of flexibility.) I found a cord, bought a breakfast pastry, and drove the 9 miles to their place. I figured with Kerry still working in CT he might enjoy a treat. So I get there and give him the power cord, then get myself some coffee. He comes back and says he can't get the monitor to turn on, even though it's connected to the tower. I go to look and there is no power cord on the monitor either. (He says he never realized monitors needed a power cord.) Both cords must be packed away in some still-unopened box from their move. So - I figured I could do this - I got back in the car and back to the office to pick up another power cord. I get it back there and plug in the monitor and reach for the mouse - no mouse! I have extra mice at the office as well. Sigh...

I did not volunteer to go and get a mouse for him. I figured the internet people could manage with the buttons on the keyboard.

So later in the afternoon Kerry calls me from CT. Apparently no one ever showed up to hook up the internet. He called the company and they had no record of any order under his name or his address. Who knows who he called - he says they didn't ask for any financial info, just name and address, so hopefully it wasn't a scam... At least Kerry was embarrassed and sorry that I had made 2 trips out there for nothing...


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

MamaProfCrash said:


> Probably poorly because you know Monday is a baket case who cannot have another dog around, has to eat a specific food, and needs some other specialized care...


And don't forget that Monday has been known to drag a whole lobster off the counter and finish it off. When she gets wind of the lobster bake, she will think she has won the lottery!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie, you have the best thoughts from all your friends here on KB. We know that so many of these expenses should belong to the bride's family, or at least to the bride and groom. You were very gracious to offer your backyard, which saved the bride's parents a ton of money by not renting a venue. However, I wish they had stepped up with more of the rentals. But, bygones are bygones....or at least will be by the end of the weekend. Because of your attention to detail I know the wedding and lobster bake will end up very fun with wonderful memories to be shared for years. My kids did not get "any sense" until they hit their 30s. Your kids will get there. Keep breathing, expect the unexpected, and drink a lot of wine. 

Poor Hannah.....she is either never going to get married, or she will elope!

Are the kids going on a honeymoon?  Jane


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Everyone, thanks for all your messages and support! You guys are helping me keep my sanity more than you know. Thanks!

Tony and I took a tour of the tent and rental stuff. Now that he can see everything he has more of a sense of how it will all work, and can envision the informal lobster cafe of Friday evening and the more formal wedding event on Saturday. So great, he's on board with helping with the setting up. Our next door neighbor, Ann, also came over and had various ideas about how to make event 1 and event 2 work. Yeah!

Ann was also very excited about the Kleenex hand towels. LOL. "I've never seen these!" she said. I think I have made a great discovery.

I called Party Plus (which I have decided is the greatest rental company on the planet) and asked about changing the one panel with the dissonant windows. They need to bring more stuff on Friday (cushions, more glasses) so they will switch out the panel. Hooray! Nice and no argument about doing this.

Tam, like you, I am a pushover, especially when it comes to my children. I get annoyed but I get over it. Talking about money and tips, as my husband just said, the vampire will be off our back on Sunday. Let's just push through. I am not going to order champagne so maybe we won't have a champagne toast, but that won't be my problem!

Jane, for the honeymoon, they are driving up to Camden (about 2.5 hrs away) and staying at a very nice inn for 3 nights. Camden is lovely, has some great restaurants and it feels like you are getting away, even though you are staying in Maine. I think it is perfect for a reasonable, affordable but "feeling sort of fancy" honeymoon.

Re: Monday and Dempsey in the tent: they think it is their giant playground that we erected just for their enjoyment. Monday even dug a hole. Sigh...

It's all going to be good....

L


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Haven't been back to this thread for awhile; I see things are moving along and some things haven't changed!

I've actually been to Saco, Portland (and Brunswick, where I have a cousin).  I'm doing the rain re-schedule dance furiously.

We currently have an Amazon Local (or one of the deals) for photobooth rental and even with over 50% discount, yes, they are more expensive than I had envisioned!  if I had the extra cash I'd rent one to use at one of our big adoption events at the shelter, with people donating to get pictures in the booth.. with two people or even a dog (many people bring their own dogs) or stuffed animals, maybe..  so we might make money on the deal.  But just to rent it..  more than I thought.  I'll have to find out how much it cast Danielle, but it was part of their photo/video package..  I've heard they have 900 photos posted somewhere (this may include the photobooth ones).

I went to a wedding years ago in north Texas where it was pretty likely to be raining, and it sure was.. but everything was inside, at the church and then at some historic building for the big reception.    They had a NO FLASH rule of course during the ceremony and at key times during the reception, such as when the bride and groom were cutting the cake.  I had a camera with settings so I could get many shots with the flash turned off and I happened to be sitting at a table right by the cake so I did get some amazing close-ups of the cutting.  But we also had agreed to post all of the photos from those of us at our online community in a private area and the bride had total control over which ones were allowed to be posted on the board, which is also set up with members only areas that weren't hit by search engines.    I never did see the video which I think was said to be amazing.

Another wedding where some of the same people were guests (along with other groups at both) had the rain issue to deal with.  This was in Simi Valley, CA.  The wedding was set for outside, overlooking a lovely little valley, but the reception was inside the building.  There was a large dance floor so if needed, the wedding would move inside.  But the bride was melting down over the rain.  About 20 minutes before the ceremony the sun came out, there was a magnificent double rainbow over the valley and people snapped pics and she was able to see that they could have the outside ceremony.  Good thing, since the groom and his best man were to arrive on horses, trotting up the valley and around to the terrace..  that would have been more difficult inside!

Leslie, I'm so sorry there is a lack of grace regarding all that you are doing for them (and her) and so many added expenses.  Hopefully you will have good friends there and be able to enjoy the whole thing, live through the tear down (though the people providing the tents sound like they are reasonable to work with) and then be able to  let out a big sigh and relax!  And I hope you get some lovely pictures, too.  And some great lobster 

Tam, this is the first Dadzilla I've encountered, but I'm sure he isn't the only one!.


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## loonlover (Jul 4, 2009)

Totally off topic, but I keep a box of the hand towels in the car for carrying into pit stop facilities that only have dryers that don't really do much to dry your hands.

And here's another person doing the anti-rain dance for you.


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie, you are not alone being a pushover with your kids!

Now that Tony is on board with plans, I expect things to smooth out. Who knows? Your next career might be as a party planner.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Party planner? I don't think so! LOL

Sunny this morning but the storm is on its way. Now the prediction is 90% chance of rain, "heavy at times" for both Friday and Saturday. There was a short period where it might have been clearing on Saturday but not anymore.

This morning, Monday and I are off to the groomer and then I get a pedicure. That is always fun. Tony is coming home at lunchtime and his project for the afternoon is to clean the house. No word from Lance and Jocelyn yet today.

Oh, my friend Cathy (from NY) called and they won't be able to make it.   It's official: her husband had a heart attack and can't travel this soon. This is the man who runs 4 miles a day, eats healthy, and weighs 160 pounds. But he does smoke...

L


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Sorry to hear that your friend can't make it, Leslie!  Smoking will do it.  My mom had a heart attack at 43, pretty sure it was the smoking...

Betsy


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

I am so sorry that Cathy will not be able to make the wedding.

I am pretty sure that all the joyous festivities will counterbalance the rotten forecast. Out West the weather is picture perfect, but I guess it is too late to move the wedding. 

Last September when Dusty and Alyson got married in Hood River (about 90 miles east of Portland), there was a pretty severe forest fire. It was very smokey, and the locals were saying they could not remember the smoke so bad. On Saturday morning of the wedding day, we woke up to beautiful blue skies with snow-capped Mt Hood looming in the backdrop. It could not have been more perfect. I hope the same for you.


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## NapCat (retired) (Jan 17, 2011)

Wish you could move the wedding to the Lighthouse Ranch....clear, sunny, light breeze. 
Slight chance of a shower in *October !!*


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Still hoping you get a break in the weather and a rainbow.  Optimistic, I know.  Glad you got the other tent.


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

I would argue that because she got the other tent the weather will cooperate.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

I have pretty much accepted that it will rain. Now I am just hoping for "showers" instead of "torrential downpours."

Meanwhile, the bride, groom and her family have gone radio silent. I thought they were coming over today to work on flowers and deciding on the arrangement for tables and so on? There are moments where I feel like I have entered a scene from the Twilight Zone.

Here's a picture of the tent all set up:










and some of the flowers from the Farmer's Market on the deck:


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## JETaylor (Jan 25, 2011)

The tent looks lovely and I'm sure no matter what the weather - it will end up being a very beautiful day and once it begins, exhale and enjoy. 

I'm still doing the anti-rain dance because we're headed to York for the weekend and I'd like to see the sun Saturday too. Maybe the rain will just be today and tomorrow...and clear up by Saturday morning.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Extra umbrellas for guests and running in between house and tent?

Betsy


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Extra umbrellas for guests and running in between house and tent?
> 
> Betsy


Tony has been gathering up umbrellas--I think he said he had about 10-12 right now.

L


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Leslie said:
 

> Tony has been gathering up umbrellas--I think he said he had about 10-12 right now.
> 
> L


 

And buckets/tubs by the door and inside the tent to stash wet ones in?

Betsy


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

The yard, tents, patio look wonderful! I can hardly wait to see the pictures of the ceremony! When do the lobster arrive? Thinking optimistically for a sunny day!


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## crebel (Jan 15, 2009)

Are those flagstones in the wheelbarrow?  A stepping stone path to the tents to avoid heels sinking into wet ground if (and fingers crossed it WON'T) it is raining and the ground is soggy?


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

crebel said:


> Are those flagstones in the wheelbarrow? A stepping stone path to the tents to avoid heels sinking into wet ground if (and fingers crossed it WON'T) it is raining and the ground is soggy?


No, those are wooden boxes to be used as risers/for decorating in the wheelbarrow/wagon.

Let's hope people haven't been planning to wear spiky high heeled shoes. Even on a sunny day, those would be treacherous!

Meanwhile, my husband keeps dreaming up more ways for us to spend more money (sigh...). For example, tomorrow: "I can go to the store and buy a bunch of cold cuts, rolls, and salads to feed everyone lunch." Saturday morning: "The groomsmen are spending the night. I should buy something so we all have breakfast."

It almost makes me want to cry. Doesn't someone else, besides me, have a Visa card? I said to Tony, "Maybe you could ask Andrew or Jason if they could run down to Mr. Bagel on Saturday morning and buy a dozen bagels with cream cheese?" After all, Andrew is in the Marines--he makes plenty of money. Jason teaches high school--he has an income. I think they could afford to buy breakfast (especially since we'll have fed them a lobster dinner the night before). My husband's response, "I don't think it's polite to ask them to buy their own breakfast and not have any food in the house."

I glared at him. After glaring at him, he decided that maybe asking them to buy bagels was okay. We still haven't sorted out lunch for tomorrow, though.

L


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> When do the lobster arrive? Thinking optimistically for a sunny day!


Yes, when should Jane and I be there?  EDIT: I'll even bring bagels...

Betsy


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Yes, when should Jane and I be there?
> 
> Betsy


I am looking forward to seeing you at 5:45 pm EDT. Actually, now that my friend Cathy had to cancel, I have two extra seats at the lobster dinner. How many frequent flier miles do you have and how fast can you cash them in? 

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

The latest from NOAA:

Friday: Rain likely, mainly after 11 am. Cloudy, with a high near 59. East wind 5 to 10 mph, with gusts as high as 25 mph. Chance of precipitation is 60%. New precipitation amounts between a tenth and quarter of an inch possible.

Friday Night: Rain. The rain could be heavy at times. Low around 51. Northeast wind around 10 mph, with gusts as high as 25 mph. Chance of precipitation is 90%. New precipitation amounts between 1 and 2 inches possible.

Saturday: Rain, mainly before 1 pm. The rain could be heavy at times. High near 65. North wind 10 to 15 mph. Chance of precipitation is 80%.

Saturday Night: Cloudy, with a low around 53. Northeast wind around 5 mph.

L


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Leslie said:


> I am looking forward to seeing you at 5:45 pm EDT. Actually, now that my friend Cathy had to cancel, I have two extra seats at the lobster dinner. How many frequent flier miles do you have and how fast can you cash them in?
> 
> L


So tempting....unfortunately, oldest grandson's high school graduation is tomorrow. Graduating from St. John's College High School in Washington, DC near the top of his class, got early acceptance into Swarthmore.

I forgot to order the traditional (in our family) celebratory personalized M&Ms until yesterday morning. Thought I was going to give them to him late.  But, as you're finding, it only takes money. For an extra $20 to the total order, they were guaranteed to arrive today, in time for tomorrow's ceremony. Since I only do this for high school graduation, and his two older cousins had them, I went ahead.* Ordered at 10:36 am yesterday, we got them about 24 hours later, delivered by Fed Ex in a cooler bag with an ice pack.










So...I guess I can't come to the lobster bake after all, I have M&Ms to deliver.  And thankfully, the graduation is indoors, as they're talking heavy rain here tomorrow.

Betsy

*the next two grandkids are five years younger, so I can save up...and try to order them in a timely manner.


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

I'm betting on some spikey high heels in the crowd.

My friend went to a family wedding a couple of years ago and it was  held in a (nice) barn, but there wasn't heat and it was .. a barn (or maybe that was the reception..

They actually warned people that they should dress warm or bring jackets.  Friend did this.. and she wouldn't be wearing heels of any sort, but her grand daughter and also her son's girlfriend wore strapless dresses and spikey heels and froze and sank.  Tsk.

One wonders about the bride and her family.. are they expecting you to come pick them up?  Or come cook them breakfast as well?

Also doing rain dance here.  Although we are heavily into June  Gloom here, it is pretty dry.


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

I am working on various flavored cream cheeses....freshly made locally, of course. Betsy, can you pick me up at the airport? I will be arriving Friday morning (gulp....that is tomorrow and I am still in the mountains!) so that I can make the crowd a lunch. Since all I have with me in the mountains are cutoffs and Birkenstocks, could you please bring me a dress? I am sure whatever the dress looks like my Birkenstocks will still be proper. I will also bring us some northwest wine to tide us over. Cheers to all!  J


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

I will be thinking if you today and tomorrow, and sending good thoughts your way for a happy and relatively calm wedding weekend.  Everything looks beautiful and those tents are fantastic! 

I've been following the long-term forecast and decided yesterday to order a tent for our backyard. Here in the boonies of Central PA a 20X20 (no side flaps) is only $200. They can set it up right alongside our covered garage porch, which has several places to put out the food for Friday night's rehearsal dinner. I figured the tent would be a necessity if it rains next Fri. as predicted, and would provide nice shade from the sun if it doesn't.

Good luck Leslie. Sounds like it's time to "accidentally misplace" your VISA card, or to discover it is maxed out. Seriously, what would the bride & groom do if you weren't footing all these bills? At the very least, they ought to be buying the food to feed their wedding party breakfast & lunch... But I know how it is...


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

The shade is really important even if it doesn't rain. When I got married, My Mom was on a medicine to help her recovery from lung cancer. It caused her to be very sun sensitive. Having a place for her to go and enjoy the wedding was pretty important to everyone. I love outdoor weddings but I think they should all involve a tent or some type of indoor option for people with different needs and the possibility of rain. 

Leslie, it is going to be a wonderful couple of days. Enjoy them. I know you are spending lots of little bits here and there and that is frustrating but it really will be worth it. (hugs)


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> I am working on various flavored cream cheeses....freshly made locally, of course. Betsy, can you pick me up at the airport? I will be arriving Friday morning (gulp....that is tomorrow and I am still in the mountains!) so that I can make the crowd a lunch. Since all I have with me in the mountains are cutoffs and Birkenstocks, could you please bring me a dress? I am sure whatever the dress looks like my Birkenstocks will still be proper. I will also bring us some northwest wine to tide us over. Cheers to all! J


Dress? I'm a work-at-home quilter.  No dresses here. In fact, I'm wondering what to wear to the graduation.

Betsy


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Good morning everyone,

Overcast right now but not raining. It does look like it rained a bit during the night.

Lance just called to tell me that Jason will be by to drop Marli (the dog) off in a little bit. Lance is picking up the keg then going to get his hair cut and plans to be here by 11. I asked if he could stop and pick up something for lunch. He sounded a little taken aback but then said, "Yeah, yeah, I'll talk about it with Andrew." We will see what happens. 

I am waiting for the rental guy to show up again with the remaining glasses and napkins. Lobster Courtney is due at noon. The excitement is building!

L


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## NapCat (retired) (Jan 17, 2011)

Leslie

It is almost time for you to stop fussing and worrying......and have fun !! 
I think the Lobster Bake is absolutely perfect for a party on a rainy Maine afternoon !!

I am sure everyone will have a great time !!


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Leslie said:


> Good morning everyone,
> 
> Overcast right now but not raining. It does look like it rained a bit during the night.
> 
> ...


I love these play-by-play descriptions! Excitement is building here, too, LOL!

Betsy


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> I love these play-by-play descriptions! Excitement is building here, too, LOL!
> 
> Betsy


Tony came home and put electricity out to the tent along with six floodlights. We weren't planning on having lights but since we don't have a lot of sun it seemed like a good idea.

I have wine and beer glasses set up for this evening, along with the beverage tubs. Now we just need ice, beer, and soda to fill them up!

I also wrapped Lance and Jocelyn's wedding present, cleaned up my messy papers that tend to accumulate, and put away the ultrabook--but left _Kindle Paperwhite for Dummies_ prominently displayed. 

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie said:


> I also wrapped Lance and Jocelyn's wedding present, cleaned up my messy papers that tend to accumulate, and put away the ultrabook--but left _Kindle Paperwhite for Dummies_ prominently displayed.
> 
> L


Now you are in the spirit! I can see things happening fast and smoothly from here on out. Good luck and have a great time! Jane


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Leslie said:


> Tony came home and put electricity out to the tent along with six floodlights. We weren't planning on having lights but since we don't have a lot of sun it seemed like a good idea.
> 
> I have wine and beer glasses set up for this evening, along with the beverage tubs. Now we just need ice, beer, and soda to fill them up!
> 
> ...


 

I never got my copy...I guess I'll have to buy one.


*thinks longingly of lobster...and looks out at the steady rain we're having here.*


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

Leslie said:


> Tony came home and put electricity out to the tent along with six floodlights. We weren't planning on having lights but since we don't have a lot of sun it seemed like a good idea.
> 
> I have wine and beer glasses set up for this evening, along with the beverage tubs. Now we just need ice, beer, and soda to fill them up!
> 
> ...


Good luck, and have a wonderful evening! (Wish even one of my friends or relatives had served a lobster dinner at their wedding/rehearsal dinner. Guess that's what I get for having relatives and friends in the center of the U.S.)


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

I would think that the hosting of the wedding and all of that was the wedding present....

You are nicer then my parents (winks)


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## JETaylor (Jan 25, 2011)

Looks like the weather is supposed to start clearing in southern Maine by 10am tomorrow.  Perhaps the anti-rain dances are working.  

Enjoy and have fun.


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Keep it up, raindancers!

Leslie, I'm sure it will all be fabulous!  Lobster Bake sounds wonderful to me..  I'd love to head down to The Crab Cooker on the Balboa Penninsula in Newport Beach (the west coast one, here in Orange County, CA) for their lobster skewers.  
Loving the play-by play-too.


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Seamonkey said:


> Keep it up, raindancers!
> 
> Leslie, I'm sure it will all be fabulous! Lobster Bake sounds wonderful to me.. I'd love to head down to The Crab Cooker on the Balboa Penninsula in Newport Beach (the west coast one, here in Orange County, CA) for their lobster skewers.
> Loving the play-by play-too.


I love the Crab Cooker too!


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## mlewis78 (Apr 19, 2009)

Leslie, I am wishing you all the best.  I hope the rain is not like it is here in NYC.  (Just started following this thread a few days ago.)


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

I am guessing the rehearsal is over and the Lobster Fest has begun. I raise a toast to the bride and groom (and the groom's parents)!


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Lovely Lobsters, hopefully safe from doggie jaws!!


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## JETaylor (Jan 25, 2011)

Just got up to southern Maine and it is coming down tonight - I hope Leslie & company are warm and dry tonight!  

May the rain that falls tonight bless the ceremony tomorrow.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Leslie, hope it all went well and you're still partying!

Betsy


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Quick update: I am about to run downtown to get my hair washed and blow dryed.

The lobster bake was a HUGE success. Beyond huge--it was spectacular! I am so glad I paid the money to have it catered though. I can't imagine trying to put on a party for 38 people in the absolute POURING rain. And by the time the lobster got underway, it really was pouring. The rain built gradually through the day but by 6 pm it was really coming down.

James and Jason (the lobster bake guys) were great and very professional. I thought it was going to be a buffet but the actually ended up serving us which was very nice. We started with mussels, then clam chowder and corn bread, then the main course of lobster, corn, and tomato and cucumber salad. Blueberry cake for dessert which was yummy. Watermelon slices to cleanse the palate.

My brother-in-law and his wife (coming from Ohio) were delayed in Philadelphia by the weather, so they missed the party in the tent, but their lobsters were saved for them. We moved the party in to the kitchen and they enjoyed their lobsters by the fire. 

Okay, off to see Adam. More details later. Have a great Saturday everyone!

L


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Yay, Leslie!  Glad to hear it went great!  (We never doubted it.)

Did Monday get some lobster?  

Have a great day!

Betsy


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Leslie, all your hard work and careful planning paid off! So glad it was a success! Your guests (and the happy couple) are so fortunate to have you! 

Reading this thread has been so helpful to me on keeping my jitters and stress at bay for my daughters upcoming wedding festivities. Thanks so much for keeping us posted on the ups and downs and giving me hope that it wil all come together in the end!

Kerry made it home after a very long day yesterday - worked her last day at her CT job, picked up her wedding dress, and drove to PA in the pouring rain. No more long drives till the honeymoon. They are driving to the Boston area for two days (some cute little resort town 15 miles south that I forget the name), then leaving from Boston for a cruise into Canada. We all have a crazy week ahead but we're all in positive moods - for now! Hoping we can keep our sense of humor through the inevitable kinks and twists of pulling off the rehearsal backyard picnic, wedding, reception, and Sunday Brunch. My husband fortunately is pretty calmed down now and focusing all his energies on cleaning and spiffing up the house ( painting the front porch floor this afternoon!)


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie, I am so thankful for the LB report! So glad everything went well in spite of the rain! Leaving the big stuff to the caterer was a genius idea. The fun and low key evening will carry over into today's plans. Everyone should be gathered in your backyard by now, and basking in the delight of a wedding.  I hope it is a blissful day. I am sending calming thoughts to all! Jane


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## NapCat (retired) (Jan 17, 2011)

Leslie said:


> "...HUGE success. Beyond huge--it was spectacular!..."


I am soooo happy for you !!


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## JETaylor (Jan 25, 2011)

Blue sky has emerged in places in Southern Maine.  The rain stopped about 7am this morning- so they should have a lovely day!

Enjoy the nice weather - cool enough to be comfortable but warm enough not to be chilly - you couldn't have asked for better dancing weather.


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Hope the hair appointment was refreshing and relaxing.
Hope you were praised to the programs (or tent tops) for the wonderful lobster bake.
Still doing anti-rain dance, just in case.
Anticipating further updates and hoping Tam`s updates will continue.

ETA:  ARRGH!  auto correct..  praised to the roofbeams, not programs..


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Late night check in:

The day was great. The ceremony was beautiful. I cried a bunch (fortunately my husband had a hankie). Lots of catching up with old friends and family. It was great. 

The food (they tell me) was great although I missed lots of it. I did enjoy the little salmon blini thingies.

Dogs were mostly absent but when they appeared they were well  behaved. Sleeping now in the kitchen.

I am exhausted. More later...
L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

I have been waiting for news for hours! So glad to hear all went well, as I knew it would! It all seems to go by in a blur. Rest, sleep, relax tomorrow. 

How did the weather cooperate?  Jane


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

So glad it went well, Leslie! And a week form now all our craziness will be over as well. You cannot imagine how much of a calming happy distraction it has been for me to be reading your updates!

Kerry asked me to finalize the flowers for the ceremony & reception. She had planned for hydrangeas and her florist (mom of a high school friend) has a neighbor's bushes to use, but they are not going to be blooming yet and she did not want to pay for buying them. She told me she was just too stressed to think about it anymore and asked if I could work it out with the florist with hwatever kinds of flowers she suggests.We spoke for about an hour on the phone, and she sent me some pics of things she has done. It turns out that buying hydrangeas is not that expensive. We are having daisies and windflowers in blue quart mason jars at the church - an old historic church so that will look appropriate. Kerry and her bridesmaids will have dark pink hydrangea corsages accented with other flowers, and the reception tables will also be hydrangeas and other flowers and greens, and some votive candles as well. I just told Kerry that everything will be fine and she thinks there will be no hydrangeas - it will be a wonderful surprise for her on the wedding day! And the best thing is it is only costing us about $300 total. This is one of the great things about living in a small town.

The list of things to do seems manageable for now. I still have a lot of housecleaning to do but we are only working Monday and Tues, so will have a little time yet to finish up. I got all the plates, plastic ware, and tablecloths for the backyard rehearsal dinner picnic today. Grabbed a rotisserie chicken and salad fixings and Dale & I met the kids at their new rental house. There were so many boxes it was hard to move, and I had to clear a spot on the counter to put the salad together. Then we ate out on the deck because their table is filled with stuff. Kerry sent me a photo on my cell phone just now of a sparkling clean and uncluttered kitchen! She worked hard this evening!


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

I hope sleep is sweet, Leslie.  Job well done..  yours and several others as well, that you  did.


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Tam, the hydrangeas will be wonderful.  I love them!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Tam, now we have the time and energy to rejoice in your upcoming wedding and to take in all the plans. Sounds like you have a grip on things and plans are going smoothly. Here is hoping for good weather!  Jane


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## crebel (Jan 15, 2009)

*sniffle, happy sigh*

And they lived happily ever after.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Happy Sunday everyone...

The wedding was a huge success. I think everyone had a blast--I didn't hear any complaints. I have to say, around 10:15 am yesterday when I was running around and folding napkins I began to have my doubts if it would all come together in time, but it did. Lance and his four groomsmen: Andrew, Trevor, Jeromy, and Jason--who are also four of his oldest friends (he has known Trevor and Jeromy since kindergarten) were incredible with helping with all the set up. Moving chairs and tables, fastening cushions onto chairs, folding napkins, putting out M&Ms--they did anything I asked. They were great.

The ceremony started about 20 minutes late but that turned out to be fortuitous--when everyone was in place (groomsmen, bridesmaids, bride, groom and Rev. Will) the sun came out and shined through the little window in the tent. It was beautiful. The ceremony was lovely. I was fine at the rehearsal but I started crying at the wedding the minute I sat down in my little folding chair. Thank goodness my husband had a hanky!

My husband's brother, Michael did one of the readings. Our very close friend, Lance, did the other reading. He is also the man who married Tony and me, 35 years ago, which Rev. Will managed to work into the ceremony. Of course, that made me cry buckets (again). 

The weather continued to improve as the day went on. We were able to open the front of the tent and also the back. They put away all the folding chairs and we had an impromptu dance floor. The band was great. We didn't have a ton of people dancing but a handful did. We never got it together to have a mother and son dance or a father and daughter dance, nor did we have a first dance for the bride and groom. I am glad I didn't spend $324 to rent the 12' x 12' dance floor.

The only glitch (which was minor) was that the tap for the keg was defective. Our friend Peter ran downtown and got a replacement but we weren't able to serve beer for about an hour--which meant that everyone was drinking wine. My plan of paying for the wine so I would be able to keep any extra completely backfired--every last drop was consumed. Oh well. We have lots of San Pellegrino sodas left--tons, in fact. I wonder if I can sell them on Craigslist?

The food was good (so I heard) but perhaps we could have had more. On the other hand, there weren't any leftovers. The band finished at 3 and packed up and so did the caterers. A few people hung around and kept drinking beer but most everyone took off--and then they went and did interesting things downtown. Our friends Lance and Margy had a delicious dinner at the Dogfish Cafe (a place I highly recommend). Kathy and Peter headed to Freeport to visit LL Bean and had dinner at Linda Bean's Lobster Roll Co. My sister and her family went to dinner at their favorite Japanese restaurant, Yosaku, then went to the mall and went shopping (!!). The young people went pub crawling downtown and I heard they closed a few bars. Jocelyn did it all in her wedding dress which is what she wanted to do. LOL.

This morning, people came by and had bagels and coffee and helped with some of the clean up, which is gratefully appreciated. I had a nice visit with Lance and Margy (from Baltimore) and Kathy and Peter (from NY). Bill and Payton (Jocelyn's parents) came and collected their stuff and left us lots of beautiful flowers. Apparently, Payton was partying on the pier on Old Orchard Beach last night and Jerica (Jocelyn's sister) got a new tattoo!!!! Bill took a page from my book and went to bed early. Lance and Jocelyn also stopped by to say thank you, then headed off for their honeymoon in Camden. 

And now I am alone on my porch. Tony's family is coming over at 6 pm for a roast chicken dinner. I am taking it easy right now and after lunch, I plan to have a rejuvenating nap which is what I think I need. 

I did not take a single picture yesterday, but friends are posting pictures on Facebook. I'll see if I can save them and post a few here for everyone to enjoy. You can also friend me on Facebook to see them there--my name, Leslie Nicoll.

L


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## balaspa (Dec 27, 2009)

Glad to hear it went well. We had a similar menu at our brunch wedding last November and my wife really struggled with me being gluten and dairy free and also some vegan friends to account for. We had so many left over totellini and goat cheese skewers and mixed fruit skewers, but everything else went quickly. The mashed potato bar was a big hit! It is amazing how much work goes in to planning a wedding and then it is over in a blink. 

I definitely think that you will be able to sell the San Pellegrino on Craigslist. Just put "wedding picnic BBQ party lot" in the title and someone planning a party will snatch them up. Our friend listed her mom's van on Craigslist and had an immediate call and made plans to meet in 15 minutes and sold it for cash right there in the parking lot of a local bank! It's a great way to find a new home for things you do't want to donate.


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

The FB pictures are great! From the smiles on the faces, I don't think the weather dampened any spirits! Enjoy a quiet day today!  Jane


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

It all sounds so very lovely, Leslie! 

We took a break from. Cleaning today and after church went out for brunch with some friends, then to the historical Society's annual Strawberry Festival. It is held on the grounds of the historic church when Kerry and Jason will be getting married - so was a good chance for us to take a final look at the church and decide where everyone in the family will be seated. Almost immediately upon arriving, Dale (my husband) was grabbed and recruited to play the antique pump organ for the hymn sing from 1-1:30, as the organist who had volunteered never showed up. Then we stood in line for ice cream with strawberries and chatted with tons of folks - it's a big event that draws over 500 people. 

Drove to the big grocery store and ordered the food for the Sunday brunch - a party package with sliced wraps, pita sandwich wedges, pear provolone salad, veggie tray, sliced fruit platter, and also bagels, cream cheese, and orange juice. We have a young girl from our church making muffins which she will deliver that morning as well. We have a case of champagne and got a ton of champagne flutes at Ikea for the occasion. We are having far more cake at the wedding than we need, so I am sure there will be cake at the brunch as well.

The kids are getting their marriage license tomorrow morning. Kerry is then going with her bridesmaids as they are treating her to a spa visit - they are all getting massages and mani-pedis. She has to meet with the hotel event manager Tues morning and with the DJ in the afternoon. (both will require me sending checks along, but then most everything big will be paid for.) Wed the girls will be using the church kitchen to make the favors. She bought butterfly shaped cookie cutters, which she will place on paper-lined cookie sheets and fill with melted white chocolate & top with sprinkles or nuts or whatever. Then once cooled they go into little organza bags, and just have to be stored somewhere relatively cool until dropped off at the hotel for the reception.

I need to get stuff to put into the welcome bags for the hotel guests. Some kind of snack items, bottled water, directions to the church and to our house for the Sunday brunch, etc. we stopped at the visitor bureau today but it had closed. When Kerry goes to meet with the hotel person, she can stop by and get brochures for area restaurants and things to do. I'm not sure what else to put in the bags - anyone have any good ideas?

I could write a book about all the eccentricities of the extended family that will be here, but I will be kind and not share too much. I imagine everyone has similar things to deal with at weddings! But if anything funny happens I will be sure to share!

Again Leslie - glad it all went so well with the weather worries and all. You deserve a nice calm week to recover!


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## sebat (Nov 16, 2008)

Leslie, I sent you a friend request on FB and a PM to let you know who I am. I'm, Susan Rissi Tregoning. 

I've enjoyed this thread. I think your tears at the wedding were just relief after a job well done!


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## mlewis78 (Apr 19, 2009)

Leslie, I am happy for you that it all went so well.

Tam:  when is the wedding?  (I'm thinking next weekend?)


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

I've enjoyed this thread very much, and am so happy with your outcome, Leslie!  You made so many good decisions and it seems to have worked out well in the end.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Here's a nice picture of the bride and groom...


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Yay, Leslie.  *wishes there were a "Like" for posts here!*

Betsy


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Thanks, Betsy!

Tam, gift bags for the hotel guests--what a great idea. Something like that never entered my head. I think you should add some chocolate to each one as well as some Tylenol. 

As for me, I think I have just crashed from 4 days of running on adrenaline. I slept well last night but I feel completely exhausted this morning. All I want to do is go crawl back into bed and go to sleep. I hope the tent people get here soon and I hope they don't take as long as they did on Wednesday. I have a feeling that breaking down is much faster than setting up. I hope so!

L


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

We did gift bags. We made sure to put in two of everything because normally there are two people. We put in water, cookies, candy (a handful of small candy bars), that type of thing. We included directions to the wedding location, reminder about the bus departure time, and a list of things to do in the area. 

Leslie, I am thrilled it went well for you and a good time was had by all. Hopefully you get a great thank you card (and gift) from the Bride and Groom for all of your hard work. Enjoy the downtime and looking through pictures of the event. You did good. You are a wonderful mother.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

MamaProfCrash said:


> Leslie, I am thrilled it went well for you and a good time was had by all. Hopefully you get a great thank you card (and gift) from the Bride and Groom for all of your hard work. Enjoy the downtime and looking through pictures of the event. You did good. You are a wonderful mother.


Thank you so much for saying this. You've made my day!

Right now I am a little annoyed with Party Plus Rentals. I feel like they dropped the ball in the final inning of the game. I just called to ask what time the tent guys would get here and Tracy said, "Oh, they are scheduled for tomorrow." What?? Since the beginning, it's been planned that the pick up would be on Monday. I took the day off on purpose--and I have things scheduled tomorrow that I cannot change. Tracy said they can do the pick up without someone on site but come on--there's stuff in the shed, stuff in the backyard, stuff in the tent. I don't want these guys running all over my house without someone here. Grrr....

Meanwhile, Cindy416 friended me on Facebook to look at wedding photos, and from her page I linked to her daughter's cooking blog. This recipe popped up:

http://cancookwilltravel.com/enchilada-pasta-casserole/

and I decided I just had to make it for dinner tonight. It's super easy to put together and it smells delicious. Cooking it helped me to work off some of my annoyance with Party Plus, too. Therapy cooking!

Now to make some lunch, do a little Kindle reading, and head for a nap...

L


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Lovely picture.  What a major disappointment that the de-tenting isn't happening on schedule!  Lunch, nap and Kindle reading (not in that order) -- good idea!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Looks like a great recipe, and I already have all the ingredients, except the beef. 

Have a long relaxing read and rest, Leslie. You deserve it!

It is carpet cleaning day for us! We still have lots to pick up from the floor before the cleaners get here. I am running out of places to pile it!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

The guy just came and took away the porta potty, so that is one thing taken care of.

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie, which one of the lovely girls is Hannah in the FB pictures?


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> Leslie, which one of the lovely girls is Hannah in the FB pictures?


Hannah has the flowered shawl on her shoulders and the shiny pink dress.

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

My favorite picture so far...


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

I don't know if I have mentioned this but the tuxedo Lance is wearing is vintage--it belonged to his great-grandfather (DeLancey Nicoll, Jr.) and we think he purchased it around 1947. It is navy blue with black lapels and a black stripe on the legs. Double breasted and made from a beautiful, soft wool crepe. It fits him perfectly and he looked fabulous! A wonderful complement to the beautiful bride.

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

How wonderful the tux fit Lance so well! They are both glowing on their wedding day.

Love Love Love Hannah's shawl!


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## sebat (Nov 16, 2008)

Love the pictures! That flowering bush is amazing too!


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

Leslie said:


> I don't know if I have mentioned this but the tuxedo Lance is wearing is vintage--it belonged to his great-grandfather (DeLancey Nicoll, Jr.) and we think he purchased it around 1947. It is navy blue with black lapels and a black stripe on the legs. Double breasted and made from a beautiful, soft wool crepe. It fits him perfectly and he looked fabulous! A wonderful complement to the beautiful bride.
> 
> L


What a wonderful thing for Lance to do. He looks fantastic in it, and I'm sure the fact that he wore it must mean a lot to you and your husband. The bride is radiant, by the way!


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

The pictures are beautiful, Leslie - and that vintage tux looks great on Lance. Such a beautiful wedding!!!

Thanks for the gift bag ideas - Kerry says she is taking care of this, but she has a lot on her plate right now so who knows. They got their license this morning - which included several calls to ask where we (her parents) were born. She also got the county she lives in wrong, and after telling me about it, and me correcting her, they went back and got it corrected. Her mailing address is one town, in one county, but their physical address in in a different county. They did just move there int he past couple of weeks so I guess not knowing their county isn't that far of a stretch. Glad they got it fixed though, our pastor says mistakes like that can invalidate a marriage license...

I wish we had not planned to ahve the office open two days this week. One of our front desk people is off on vacation, so I have had to help out there and I have so many other things to get done - like bill-paying and paperwork. The phone rang constantly today as it usually does on Mondays. Then I had a School Board negotiations meeting - our district's teacher contract expired in June 2011 and has not yet been settled. I have been on school board for 8 years, but this negotiations process has been the worst thing ever, and I chose not to run for re-election. We (the School Board) requested Fact-Finding, and the report came back with compromises on both sides. The teachers voted twice and rejected it both times, but the School Board accepted it both times. Which means we have to start all over with negotiations. The negotiations teams met for the first time since before fact finding tonight. By some miracle we think we have an agreement - it is up to the teachers union now to vote  but I am feeling positive for the first time in two years.  

I felt like I needed to attend tonight's meeting, but I am skipping one tomorrow night to interview for a new district solicitor. 

One more day to work and then we can devote every minute to this affair!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

And Tam, give yourself a day or two next week to recover! I can't believe how exhausted I was yesterday. I barely did anything which felt fine to me. This morning I am back to normal, reading email and catching up.

It's been a long time since I've ever put on anything this big and I have never planned a wedding. Now I know! I have a big nursing conference that I am planning for next summer (approximately 150 people). I'll be prepared for the adrenaline and aftermath after this experience.

L


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Office is closed till next Tuesday! I do have to go back there this morning to let an electrician in to fix a light, and we're using the big table in our staff lunchroom to put together the table number/photo frame stuff. Kerry and I printed out 5X7 grayscale photos yesterday after the office closed. Table One will have a photo of each of them at age 1, and so on up to all 15 tables. My printer was running out of ink but we managed to get them all printed!

She also got all the stuff for the hotel welcome bags yesterday and stuffed them - 30 bags. I printed the directions from the hotel to the church on one side and church to the hotel on the other side of some card stock and stuck those in at about midnight. Thankfully my home printer is not running out of ink!

Today we are making the favors. I think I already described them - cookie cutters filled with chocolate. My son gets picked up at the Harrisburg airport this afternoon. More last-minute cleaning. Mowing the lawn after two days of rain. Cleaning out my refrigerator to make room for all the leftovers from the rehearsal dinner on Friday.

Nothing as exciting to plan as Leslie's lobster feast! That was such a wonderful idea! And I hope you're feeling refreshed today!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Keep us posted, Tam! Your plans sound like they are all coming together. Such excitement!  Jane


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## *DrDLN* (dr.s.dhillon) (Jan 19, 2011)

Everyone seems happy. No jitters. Weddings are for fun.. I attended one in my dream last night..ha!ha!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie said:


> .
> 
> Meanwhile, Cindy416 friended me on Facebook to look at wedding photos, and from her page I linked to her daughter's cooking blog. This recipe popped up:
> 
> ...


I am making this recipe for dinner tonight. Thanks, Cindy! Has anyone else made it yet?


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> I am making this recipe for dinner tonight. Thanks, Cindy! Has anyone else made it yet?


I made it on Monday and it was great. Of course, the recipe makes enough to feed 6 starving people (or maybe 8 normal eaters) and there were only 3 of us, so we have a ton of leftovers (which I think we may be eating tonight).

From Jocelyn, this message just popped up on Facebook:

_We had an amazing time honeymooning around Camden, Maine. Although It's so, SO nice to be home. Back in my own house with my doggie and my new husband. ahhhhh. : )._

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie said:


> I made it on Monday and it was great. Of course, the recipe makes enough to feed 6 starving people (or maybe 8 normal eaters) and there were only 3 of us, so we have a ton of leftovers (which I think we may be eating tonight).
> 
> From Jocelyn, this message just popped up on Facebook:
> 
> ...


Nice to hear the kids got home. Now it is back to the real world!

I have the recipe simmering on the stove right now. I made a few minor adjustments. I did not have any corn, but threw in some olives and mushrooms that were left over from pizza a few nights ago. I don't think I have ever used cream cheese in a meat casserole before, but how cannot it be a good thing?

There are only 2 of us eating tonight, so I may have all my cooking done for the week! I will gather some lettuce from the garden and we are set to go!


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## Andra (Nov 19, 2008)

We have been on a mini vacation so I am just now catching up.  I am so glad that everything came together.  Leslie, I sent you a friend request on FB so I can see more pics.  But that one you posted of the happy couple is awesome!!!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Andra said:


> We have been on a mini vacation so I am just now catching up. I am so glad that everything came together. Leslie, I sent you a friend request on FB so I can see more pics. But that one you posted of the happy couple is awesome!!!


Welcome back, Andra. Now you can enjoy another wedding vicariously with Tam and her daughter!

L


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

The day before! We've been off work since Wed. so got the house all cleaned up and hopefully ready for the rehearsal dinner tonight. We've had a LOT of rain, and scattered thunderstorms are in the forecast for this evening, so I am really happy I got a 20X20 tent in our backyard. The rehearsal is at 6 and the food arrives here at 6:45, so hopefully the rehearsal goes quickly.

My son's girlfriend arrived yesterday and we met her for the first time - and she is wonderful! What a relief! 

In-laws (my mother-in-law and sister-in-law) arrived yesterday and immediately the problems started. They had reserved a handicapped room in the hotel, and when the got there it had a regular tub instead of a handicapped accessible shower. My MIL uses a walker and absolutely cannot get into a tub. My daughter was helping them and she dealt with it. They were offered a room with one king bed & handicapped shower and turned it down because they didn't want to share a bed. Then offered TWO rooms with king beds - SIL is afraid her mom would fall if left alone. Although she lives alone... Anyway, they are promising there will be a room with 2 beds to put them in tomorrow. The night manager told them he thought all their handicap rooms had showers and was shocked this one had a tub. All the rooms they turned down would have been free. Oh well... 

Expecting today to be a whirlwind - so I'm off!


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

Youa re meeting your DIL for the first time the week before the wedding. Wow!

Enjoy the weekend. I am sure it will all work out beautifully.


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## KindleGirl (Nov 11, 2008)

Tam's daughter is getting married, not her son.  

Best of luck Tam! I'm sure it will all go great! Enjoy!


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

I get so confused. Sorry Tam!


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## Andra (Nov 19, 2008)

Happy thoughts Tam!!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Sounds like the plans are going well! We will do the anti-rain dance for you, but weather patterns across the country are so strange it is hard to predict. A bit of drama surrounding the in-laws is to be expected. Relax, have a drink, and enjoy the day!


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

Or four or five drinks. Enough to enjoy yourself but not so much that people are telling stories.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Good luck, Tam, and keep us posted! Looking forward to hearing about the dinner tonight and seeing pictures.

If my experience is any guide, at this time next week you'll be a whole lot more relaxed...LOL.

L


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

Have a wonderful weekend, Tam! (I'm glad that you like your son's girlfriend, by the way.)


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

It doesn't end...the pouring out money, that is.

So, we somehow managed to lose 4 napkins, 2 plates, 10 glasses, and 3 tablecloths. The tablecloths are really annoying because I don't remember seeing them and I have no idea where they got to. But the upshot is, another bill to the rental place: $86.82. Let's hope this is it.

The good news: I way over-ordered on the San Pellegrino sodas. I have two cases that are absolutely untouched--still wrapped in plastic and everything. I called Phil at the beer & wine store and asked if he would exchange them for something else and he said sure. Hooray! This was only an issue because he had to special order them from his distributor. My husband, Mr. Wimp-of-the-Week, said he was "too embarrassed" to even ask if he could exchange them because they were a special order. I just gave him a "You have got to be kidding me glare look" (and a few nasty words) and made the call myself. Jeez. Men.

Phil even said he was considering carrying these because he liked the packaging so much. So these two returned cases will give him a chance to "test drive" the San Pellegrinos and see if they sell in the store.

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Are there any pictures of the tablecloths on the tables to see if they ever were actually included in your order? I can see throwing away glasses, dishes, silverware. 

Can you exchange the San Pellegrinos for wine?


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> Are there any pictures of the tablecloths on the tables to see if they ever were actually included in your order? I can see throwing away glasses, dishes, silverware.


There were supposed to be 4 large (120") round tablecloths to go on the high top tables, with the khaki toppers (90") on top. When we were running around like wild people at 10:30 am, still setting stuff up, I didn't completely remember this, nor did I see any large, round, white tablecloths--which had I seen them, might have jogged my memory that we had them. We just put the 90" khakis on the tables, with the 54" squares on top, which is what we did for all the other (not high top) tables.

The bartender wanted to set up a back bar, so we got one of our extra rolling tables out of the shed for him. Later I noticed he had one tablecloth on it and it was round and I was wondering where that came from. I still don't know where he found it but probably wherever it was is where the 3 missing ones are.

Jocelyn's mom brought a whole bunch of 54" square cloths (white). She was also supposed to have some rectangular ones although I am not sure I ever saw those. I have a feeling that the missing tablecloths got packed up in her stuff and went back to Vermont. Probably the napkins, too. While having her bring these cloths was nice, in retrospect, it just added an extra layer of confusion, having to keep track of who owned what.



> Can you exchange the San Pellegrinos for wine?


Yup.


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Just getting to bed to rest up for tomorrow! 

Everything went well. Kerry and I had a meeting with the events coordinator at the hotel this morning. Then we met with the hotel manager and finally got rooms worked out for my MIL and got her moved. But since the room was not ready till after lunch, we bought them lunch at the hotel and it took a big chunk out of our day. I had gotten up early to finish printing the place cars - I was a total spaz at that and messed up several by putting sheets into the printer wrong, spelling names wrong, etc. when double checking the finished cards at the hotel realized I had their friend Josh as "John" on his name card. They said he won't mind...

Tied little fancy colored string bows onto 144 bubble bottles - ugh! But they looked cute and it was a family project with everyone pitching in. The rehearsal was at 6 - discovered the groom's family were dressed to the nines while we were all more casual. Ah, well. Back at our house for the dinner, and after good food, beer & wine no one cared. We had delivered from a local restaurant pulled pork - both plain & BBQ, kaiser rolls, To-Die-For Mac & Cheese, broccoli salad, garden salad, and homemade cookies & brownies. Five tables and 35 chairs under a tent, plus our regular yard & patio seating. Everyone had a great time! 

Tomorrow begins with breakfast and then the hairdresser/makeup perso arrives. I am first in the schedule at 9am. I can't imagine my hair holding a style for. 9am till 111pm without going flat or frizzy. I love my dress - it is a teal long gown. Service at 3:30 and hotel reception at 5. 

Now to sleep!


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Kerry and her dad at the rehearsal yesterday:


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Your daughter looks like you, Tam. What a nice smile! Have fun today.

I am on the porch, looking over at the rhododendrons which formed the backdrop for the pictures last week and they are all brown.   Our little mini irises are fading fast, too (they were perfect last week). Clearly June 8th was the date that was meant to be!

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Hannah and I went downtown and returned the 48 cans of San Pellegrino--value $44. Then we picked out a case of wine plus a few extra-large bottles of Fish Eye that were on sale--total of that, $83 (with the discount from the sodas). I feel like I am stocked for the summer!

Meanwhile, I just tried to turn on my new laptop (which isn't even 6 weeks old) and it won't boot. At all. Sigh...it's always something.

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie said:


> Hannah and I went downtown and returned the 48 cans of San Pellegrino--value $44. Then we picked out a case of wine plus a few extra-large bottles of Fish Eye that were on sale--total of that, $83 (with the discount from the sodas). I feel like I am stocked for the summer!
> 
> Meanwhile, I just tried to turn on my new laptop (which isn't even 6 weeks old) and it won't boot. At all. Sigh...it's always something.
> 
> L


If a case of wine will last you all summer......you don't drink wine like we do! 

Another new laptop?


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Make sure the laptop is plugged in and try again.  Does it sound like it's booting up but the screen stays black?  Or no lights at all?

Betsy


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

We're attending hubby's nephew's wedding in Colorado.  We have no responsibilities except to get the groom's  mother (hubby's sister) and the minister (hubby's other sister) to the church on time.  That's stressful enough...  My sister-in-law/groom's mother doesn't approve much of her son's lifestyle and doesn't think they should be spending money on a big wedding (I don't think it's that big!) and mostly complains.  I'm biting my tongue.

Betsy


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> If a case of wine will last you all summer......you don't drink wine like we do!


We try to ration out the good stuff and drink a lot of box o'wine in between. Although come to think of it, a case probably won't last that long...LOL.



> Another new laptop?


Long story but yes...sigh...

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> We're attending hubby's nephew's wedding in Colorado. We have no responsibilities except to get the groom's mother (hubby's sister) and the minister (hubby's other sister) to the church on time. That's stressful enough... My sister-in-law/groom's mother doesn't approve much of her son's lifestyle and doesn't think they should be spending money on a big wedding (I don't think it's that big!) and mostly complains. I'm biting my tongue.
> 
> Betsy


Are they having an actual biker wedding? I'd love to see some pictures!

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> Make sure the laptop is plugged in and try again. Does it sound like it's booting up but the screen stays black? Or no lights at all?
> 
> Betsy


I had it run through all the diagnostics and everything is fine except it says there is no hard drive. Then I get a message that says "Check cable" so I wonder if the hard drive cable wiggled loose or something?

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie said:


> We try to ration out the good stuff and drink a lot of box o'wine in between. Although come to think of it, a case probably won't last that long...LOL.
> 
> Long story but yes...sigh...
> 
> L


  The box wine is the good wine in our house!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie said:


> I had it run through all the diagnostics and everything is fine except it says there is no hard drive. Then I get a message that says "Check cable" so I wonder if the hard drive cable wiggled loose or something?
> 
> L


I spent 3 hours today with Dell Tech Concierge. Actually, I was working fine until they started the deep cleaning.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> The box wine is the good wine in our house!


I am coming to visit you. I'll be right at home!

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie said:


> I am coming to visit you. I'll be right at home!
> 
> L


You are welcome to visit anytime! Bota Box Cab is on tap right now.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Leslie said:


> I had it run through all the diagnostics and everything is fine except it says there is no hard drive. Then I get a message that says "Check cable" so I wonder if the hard drive cable wiggled loose or something?
> 
> L


Could be...Worth looking into.



Leslie said:


> Are they having an actual biker wedding? I'd love to see some pictures!
> 
> L


The bride and groom rode in a car 'cause the bride didn't want her hair and dress messed up but yeah, a lot of Harleys and leather. Will post pics later.

Betsy


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

What does one wear to a biker wedding?


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

MamaProfCrash said:


> What does one wear to a biker wedding?


Hopefully we'll know soon!

Tam should be in the middle of her brunch right about now...

L


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Just got up from a nice long nap! 

The wedding was absolutely wonderful - so beautiful in the simple historic church with mason jars of wildflowers in the windowsills. I was very relaxed and de-stressed after spending the day at our house with the bridesmaids and Kerry getting our hair and makeup done, drinking mimosas, and eating leftovers from the rehearsal dinner. The girls were so sweet and everyone had a nice time. I held up well and only cried when I saw the maid of honor, her friend since they were 4, walking in with a huge smile on her face and tears streaming down her cheeks! (she also made a fantastic toast at the reception which began with something like "everyone dreams of finding that special person who is their perfect soulmate - Kerry and I found each other 22 years ago!" and included presenting Jay with a DVD of "The Princess Bride"' their all-time favorite movie.)

The reception was perfect as well - great food (choice of beef tenderloin, salmon, filet, and chicken), great service, the DJ's were phenomenal, and all of our family and friends were so happy for Kerry and Jason. At least 20 people told me it was the nicest wedding and reception they had ever attended. I expected to be somewhat stressed, but Dale and I had a fantastic time and the Kerry and Jason were over the moon! 

The brunch today was relaxed and filled with family and friends sharing good times and laughter. The weather was perfect - it just all went as smooth as could be. After everyone left the kids opened the last of their gifts and went home to collapse in exhaustion. We did the same!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Tam, thanks for checking in! So glad everything went well. Now we need some pictures, although I did see a few on Facebook.

Lance and Jocelyn came over for lunch today. This was the first time we've had a chance to visit since the wedding. Jocelyn is struggling with some post-wedding anxiety  . Feeling a little stressed and not able to eat. Not really the reaction I expected but we are all supporting her.

Lance thinks his wedding ring might be a little too big. He knows Cross Jewelers will resize it at no charge, but he doesn't want to give it up for two weeks to be resized! I commented that it is not falling-off-his-finger too big so maybe he should let it be...I have managed to go 35 years without ever having my wedding ring resized and I weigh more now than I did then. A little wiggle room is not necessarily a bad thing. LOL.

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Thanks for the recap, Tam. It sounds like a wonderful day was celebrated by all. Looking forward to pictures!

Uh....*Leslie*, you don't think Jocelyn could be preggo, do you? Not eating? Emotions all over the place?


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Love all the happy endings/new beginnings..

Oh, that's a good question for Leslie..  but I also imagine it is hard to come back to every day life after all the planning.

My wedding was planned over a very short period of time and very small and held in my parents' living room.  I had just stated a job and I worked the day of the wedding (we got married on Friday evening), we went to Laguna Beach for two nights and were back to work on Monday morning.  Not too much time to be nervous  even though those were the days when you got married and then moved in together, so it was a bigger transition.


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Trying to get some more photos online - my sister-in-law took a bunch and she gave me a CD yesterday. My good laptop is at our accountant's office to work on some things for the office, and the one I am using at home is very short on hard drive space, so I'm uploading them to Photobucket - which is taking forever!

Kerry and Jason leave for their honeymoon sometime today. This post-wedding anxiety thing must be rampant - she had a great time on her wedding day but had two huge meltdowns yesterday... They opened their gifts here and once they got them to their place, she called me in a panic because she couldn't find her packet of cards - with all the checks and cash and gift cards still inside! She thought she might have left them here, which she hadn't, and she was crying and to the point of gasping for breath by the time she finally found them. Then later in the day we (including her brother, his girlfriend, aunt, and cousin) brought pizza to their house for a quick dinner and she was all happy and radiant again. Within an hour of our leaving she called in a panic again because most of her checks were made out to her with her married name - and she was convinced she wouldn't be able to deposit them in the bank today. I told her I'm pretty sure our little small-town bank would help her get them deposited, especially if she brings her marriage license along with her. 

She's always tended to get to that meltdown point if she's hugely overtired - but it's usually only about once every 6 months or so - not twice in a single day! I think the stress of their rushed move from CT to PA, her having to work so close to the wedding day, her having to move their stuff mostly all by herself, etc. is just catching up with her. They'll be spending two days at a little cove south of Boston, then going on a cruise to Canada - hopefully she can wind down and relax! Although her fist day back she starts her new job - but she's excited about that.


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

Hopefully they will both feel better soon. I don't remember post wedding melt downs but we took off for a short honeymoon, a long weekend at the beach, were we slept, ate, and slept some more. I remember being exhausted and being a bit surprised at how utterly tired I was. Hubby felt the same way. Our plannign went pretty smoothly, nothing exciting happened and both sets of parents repeatedly told us to do what made us happy and that they didn't have any special requests. We only had one couple added to the list who were friends of the Hubbys and live in the area. I had a meltdown on the day of the bachlorette party because my ride was 45 mintues late and I hate being late to stuff. Then on the wedding day itself the salon convinced my Mother she needed her eyebrows waxed and we got home 45 mintues late. Fortunetly my Mom sent me to my room to watch TV and chill on Thursday and my Dad had a plate of snacks ready to be eaten in the car and insisted that I eat half of them. By the time we got to the venue I was feeling better. My Maid of Honor had called and told the Groom to take the pictures he could with his parents and best man so we were right on time.

But after the event I remember sleeping alot. And drinking good beer.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> Uh....*Leslie*, you don't think Jocelyn could be preggo, do you? Not eating? Emotions all over the place?


I certainly hope not! She has had problems with anxiety and sees a counselor. I think she's just having trouble finding her center right now.

Thanks for the update, Tam. Take it easy today. Last Monday I was a wreck.

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie said:


> I certainly hope not! She has had problems with anxiety and sees a counselor. I think she's just having trouble finding her center right now.
> 
> L


That is a perfectly explainable answer. She had a pretty overwhelming week. Reality sets in. Once they are back to work and on a regular schedule, life will take over.


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Here are some photos my sister-in-law took that I posted as a Photobucket "Story" -
http://s701.photobucket.com/user/greytam/story/10669

The tent is down, the leftovers are slowly being eaten, and right now my house is empty (Dale took Andrew and his girlfriend Rachel to the airport, Kerry & Jason left for their honeymoon, and my sister-in-law and nephew went on a several day trip to see an old college friend of hers in New York. I did get the dogs back from the kennel - so I have some nice sweet loving companionship!

Now off for a nap! Back to the grind tomorrow!


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

Tam said:


> Here are some photos my sister-in-law took that I posted as a Photobucket "Story" -
> http://s701.photobucket.com/user/greytam/story/10669
> 
> The tent is down, the leftovers are slowly being eaten, and right now my house is empty (Dale took Andrew and his girlfriend Rachel to the airport, Kerry & Jason left for their honeymoon, and my sister-in-law and nephew went on a several day trip to see an old college friend of hers in New York. I did get the dogs back from the kennel - so I have some nice sweet loving companionship!
> ...


Lovely! Thanks for sharing.  Now, go get some rest!


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Wonderful pictures and I love her colors (your dress is perfect on you.  What a great color) and very touching at the alter too.  I love the cheeky waving flower girl


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

The flower girls are the groom's nieces, ages 5 and 6. The older of the two was having a bit of a meltdown, at one point even laying down on the grass and thrashing. She was yelling "I don't WANT to be pretty!" while the younger was posing and modeling and doing "the wave" - hilarious!


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

Tam said:


> The flower girls are the groom's nieces, ages 5 and 6. The older of the two was having a bit of a meltdown, at one point even laying down on the grass and thrashing. She was yelling "I don't WANT to be pretty!" while the younger was posing and modeling and doing "the wave" - hilarious!


Little kids can sure wreck wedding decorum, but sometimes their antics give (nearly) everyone a chance to relax and enjoy the event. (There's usually someone who gets a bit snooty about it, but who cares?) .


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

At our son's wedding last September, the flower girl was the niece of the bride. She was 4 going on 16. Father of the FG was the officiant. The plan was that the FG would drop petals down the aisle (an outdoor venue in a garden at the foot of MT Hood, OR), then join her mother, one of the bridesmaids. FG forgot to drop any petals, but dumped the basket at the end of the aisle. She apparently had something very important to tell Daddy, so ran up behind the lecturn, grabbed his pants, and he leaned down to listen to her. The guests were absolutely quiet as FG told Daddy something very important, then skipped off to join Mommy.This is what wedding memories are made of!


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

Jane917 said:


> At our son's wedding last September, the flower girl was the niece of the bride. She was 4 going on 16. Father of the FG was the officiant. The plan was that the FG would drop petals down the aisle (an outdoor venue in a garden at the foot of MT Hood, OR), then join her mother, one of the bridesmaids. FG forgot to drop any petals, but dumped the basket at the end of the aisle. She apparently had something very important to tell Daddy, so ran up behind the lecturn, grabbed his pants, and he leaned down to listen to her. The guests were absolutely quiet as FG told Daddy something very important, then skipped off to join Mommy.This is what wedding memories are made of!


Love it!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

So, I am sitting here tonight and looking at my beautiful backyard in some beautiful late day sunlight and I am thinking of two weeks ago...

The tent was up and as I recall, on Thursday evening it was a little rainy. I have no idea what I had for dinner on Thursday but I know we were gearing up for the big days on Friday and Saturday.

Hard to believe it's been two weeks already! And the other thing is that it goes so fast. After all that planning, energy, and yes...money...it is over in 48 hours. Actually, we stretched it out a little bit longer with Tony's family staying until Wednesday but still, it was quick.

It was here, there, and done. Thank goodness we have pictures!

L


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## MamaProfCrash (Dec 16, 2008)

And memories. Lots of great memories. And new couch condoms.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

MamaProfCrash said:


> And memories. Lots of great memories. And new couch condoms.


Hahaha, yes! And spiffed up bathrooms. And a new shower head in the outdoor shower.

L


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

I always enjoy the leftovers from some event or trip.  Not only does it remind you of the event but it lives on in usefulness..


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Leftovers - We ate off of leftover rehearsal dinner food and brunch food for almost a week. I took the tons of leftover veggies from the tray, cut them up, added beef broth, onions, a couple cut-up potatoes, and stew meat cubes, to make a great stew - half of which went into the freezer for later. We had pulled pork sandwiches for lunch all week too. Not sure how I am going to deal with cooking again!

Kerry & Jason enjoyed 3 nights in Hull, MA, with one day taking the train into Boston and going to a Red Sox game. Then Thurs evening they boarded a Carnival ship for a cruise to Canada. They were thrilled that they had been upgraded to a suite with a balcony! They should be home sometime late Tuesday night, then he goes back to work and she starts her new job on Wed.

The only bill left to pay is for the flowers, and she is bringing it over to me today. I am thinking $300-500, but it could be less as she picked a lot of wildflowers and she just does flowers as a sideline. We didn't borrow any money for the wedding, which is a good feeling. The kdis paid the photographer and some of the other expenses themselves, we put the downpayment for the reception on a credit card, but had it paid off by the time for the final payment, and didn't need to put that on a card. Of course, we didn't take a vacation this summer so that accounted for some money! We did do a lot of sprucing up of our house, including 
Dale painting the front porch. Kerry had rolled her eyes at that, as the festivities were all to be held in the back. However, the final house pics of the bridesmaids ended up being taken there as it was a sunny day and the light was best there. So the freshly painted spiffy porch was great after all!

We survived the onslaught of relatives, new in-laws, and meeting our son's girlfriend quite well. I feel rested up this weekend and ready for being back to normal!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

So, we had pre-wedding jitters and now we have post-wedding depression. Not me, but poor Jocelyn is having a terrible time. She's very blue and cries most of the time. The worst part is that she is constantly nauseous and can't eat. She has lost 10 lbs in two weeks (the 10 lbs she didn't lose before the wedding!). If she tries to eat a cracker, she gets sick. Because she isn't eating, she feels very weak and thus cannot do the things she likes to do that make her feel better, like yoga or walking on the beach with the dog. Sigh...

She has been to the doctor and they started her on an anti-depressant, but those take a few weeks to kick in. She has also had a few acupuncture treatments but it is not clear if that is doing anything to help, although she likes the woman who does the acupuncture, so that part is useful. There is some talk of getting her a prescription for medical marijuana to help with the nausea. 

I'll be honest, I didn't see this coming. Any thoughts or advice are welcome.

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

*Leslie*, I am so sorry Jocelyn is going through all this. I have no suggestions, but it sounds like she is getting lots of support from family and the medical community.

We are in Portland (the west coast Portland) visiting with kids. Alyson, who married our Dustin last September, is 6 months pregnant. Amid all the joy and excitement, poor Alyson has had every "bad" symptom of pregnancy. Right now it is the back pain and the sleepless nights. She is an MD and just can't call in sick. She is working both days this weekend (it is time for new residents to start), but she comes home exhausted. She has mentioned several times that she thought she would just breeze through the pregnancy, but it hasn't happened that way. I wish I could do more. Jane


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

That must be hard for Jocelyn and everyone.  And clearly, though pregnancy comes to mind with the symptoms, they would certainly have tested her before putting her on antidepressants.

Sounds drastic if they are considering medical marijuana.  I don't even see very many of my cancer patients getting that!

From a seminar, if she can get it in.. well clearly edible format is far better than smoking, but it also can be in a format that is used with a machine that creates a very fine mist that is inhaled.  And this causes the cannabinoids to be effective sooner and more effectively.. they don't need to be digested.  I got this from two researchers who have studied medical marijuana with AIDS/HIV patients for decades.  (American Cancer Society Doc Talk series for employees and volunteers).

I hope something helps her very soon.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Thanks, Seamonkey. Interesting info.

She is definitely not pregnant, nor does she have H. pylori which could be causing an ulcer. Her stomach was upset before the wedding but at least she was eating. Now it sounds like she can't get anything down.

She came to work on Thursday and when she got working, she actually seemed fine. Being busy helps just about anything, right? But it sounds like when she wakes up early in the morning she feels lousy and that sort of sets her off for the first half of the day.

Her grandmother asked me to find out if she has "beaver fever." LOL. Like I know what that is?

L


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Here are a few more wedding pictures. From the lobsterbake preparations on Friday:



















We don't seem to have any pictures from the actual party on Friday night.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Lance and Jocelyn's mom, Payton, on Friday afternoon:










Groomsmen making lunch on Friday (yes, they bought the cold cuts...LOL)


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Here's a fun comparison--Lance and his groomsmen:










and Lance and his friends at high school graduation, 2006. Trevor (on the far right in the groomsmen picture) is missing in this photo.










I think they have all gotten more handsome!


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Great pictures!  Love the glimpse of your lovely yard in the third picture.

They all look handsome.. in both pictures.

Sending good vibes for a steady stomach for Jocelyn.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Hope Jocelyn is feeling better soon, Leslie!

Here are my promised "biker wedding" photos. The wedding took place in a small chapel near Washington Park, Denver, CO. The groom was the one having the jitters at this wedding... 

The best man on his bike. He shed his suit for the reception, though I don't think he put on his cut (vest)...I think he was wearing a club t-shirt.










Club members leaving the church for photo op in Washington Park and the reception.



















My sisters-in-law, the best man and my husband. Peg, far left, is a Presbyterian minister and performed the ceremony. Mildred, in the yellow and black, is the mother of the groom.










The bridal party at Washington Park.










There was some talk of the wedding party going from the church to the reception (via the park), all by bike, but the bride didn't want to mess up her dress and hair. So several of the guys rode "escort" to their car. And by the time the reception was over, almost all the guys had changed to their cuts, even the groom. Nice group of people. The club our nephew is part of, "Free Tomorrow," is apparently the oldest "non-outlaw" motorcycle club in the US.

Betsy


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

Nice pics! I'll be going to a commitment ceremony in two weeks for my mom and her partner. Definitely wedding season! My one year anniversary is today.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Happy anniversary, Jess. Great pictures, Betsy. It looks like it was quite the shindig!

L


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

am i allowed to post some photos from my niece's wedding in april?


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

telracs said:


> am i allowed to post some photos from my niece's wedding in april?


Absolutely!


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

I am loving seeing all the wedding photos! Keep 'em coming!
Leslie, I hope Jocelyn feels better soon.

Here are the first of the official photographer's pics which she uploaded to facebook:


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Great pics, Tam!  Can't wait to see yours, Scarlet...

Betsy


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Warm and wonderful pictures, Tam!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Beautiful pictures, Tam. Your daughter has such beautiful blue eyes! As a blue eyed person myself, along with my husband and two children, I am amazed at the diversity in color in blue eyed folks. Did you know that around 1900, the number of blue eyed people in the US was high...like 56%? And now it is down to something like 12%--quoting statistics off the top of my head so they may not be completely accurate but I know there has been a dramatic change. Anyway, I am very fond of blue eyes...LOL.

L


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

my nephew, my niece, the groom and my sister....










here comes the bride!
















here goes the happy couple


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Beautiful pictures. Where was the wedding held?

L


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

Leslie said:


> Beautiful pictures. Where was the wedding held?
> 
> L


cresthollow country club out on long island somewhere....


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Awww! Love how happy they look! Gorgeous!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Love the wedding pictures. As soon as I can figure out how to do it, I will post some pictures from our son and DIL's wedding last September. I have them all on a thumb drive.


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

I am trying to post a wedding picture of son and DILs wedding last November. I have the pictures on a thumb drive. I can't seem to copy it a KB message. Any hints?


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## telracs (Jul 12, 2009)

Jane917 said:


> I am trying to post a wedding picture of son and DILs wedding last November. I have the pictures on a thumb drive. I can't seem to copy it a KB message. Any hints?


you need to have them on an internet photo site. i use photobucket and shutterfly. Then you can copy the image to here.


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

telracs said:


> you need to have them on an internet photo site. i use photobucket and shutterfly. Then you can copy the image to here.


I can't quite figure out how to get them to my Photobucket site. There are over 1000 photos on the thumbdrive.

Edited: I think I get it now. I am uploading from the thumb drive to Photobucket. This could take a while!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

I have only uploaded 1/3 of the photos from the September wedding and have now exceeded my free Photobucket limit.


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Here is the Alyson and Dusty with the ringbearer and flower girl.

MT Hood (Oregon) in the background.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Beautiful pictures, Jane. What are the little yellow flowers in the bouquet?

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie said:


> Beautiful pictures, Jane. What are the little yellow flowers in the bouquet?
> 
> L


I am not sure what the flowers are. They were something dried.


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Are the groom and the groomsman with glasses brothers? What a pleasant and friendly-looking wedding party! Great photos, Jane!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Tam said:


> Are the groom and the groomsman with glasses brothers? What a pleasant and friendly-looking wedding party! Great photos, Jane!


Thank you, Tam. Actually, all of the groomsmen are brothers, except for the tallest, second from the right. I am still uploading pictures, and will post a picture of all the girls.

The bride and the groom are both MDs. The wedding was held last September in Hood River, OR. The bride is now 6 months pregnant. They were 31 and 33 at the time of the wedding.

The boys are all ours, except for Brad. From the left is Kyle (father to our 9 month old grandson), Adam (the baby of the family), Dusty the groom, Brad (Adam's partner), and Kyle, second oldest. The boys range from 31-39 at the time of the wedding.

Of the girls, 2 are sisters of Alyson. Her brother was officiant. From the left is Julie (also an MD), Lindsey, a sister, Alyson the bride, Michelle, SIL of Alyson and mother to ringbearer and flower girl, and Katie, a sister getting married in July.

For Christmas Alyson and Dusty gave us a photo album of lots of pictures. I love going through it. I had no idea the photographer was taking so many pictures. I have over 1000. He was everywhere, but I rarely saw him!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

I think Brad looks more like a brother than the actual brothers. LOL.

I love that they are all wearing suspenders *and* belts. That's a very Maine look, y'know.  

L


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

I agree with Leslie, Brad looks so related!  What a wonderful group of young people there!!  How exciting for you.  And that is such a beautiful location.  I had the fortune to go to a get together early in my online days that was held in a very old house in Hood River and just loved the area.  We did go to Mt Hood, the hotel for lunch and up the chair lift to the top.

Jane, too bad you didn't have your FitBit yet; you could have logged some good numbers


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie said:


> I think Brad looks more like a brother than the actual brothers. LOL.
> 
> I love that they are all wearing suspenders *and* belts. That's a very Maine look, y'know.
> 
> L


Actually, the boys all look very much alike. Brad doesn't resemble them at all! Brad is actually tall.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

I just got an Amazon local deal for a 20 page photo book. Erik (who took the pictures) gave Lance and Jocelyn a memory stick with 500+ photos. Tony uploaded them all to his computer. So I think I know what I'll be doing over the *rainy* holiday weekend--designing a wedding album! This will be great to have--showing people pictures on my iPhone really doesn't do them justice.

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Great idea, Leslie! Dusty and Alyson gave both sets of parents a photo book for Christmas. I love looking at it. 

I have finally finished uploading all 1000+ photos from the memory stick to Photobucket. Later today I will share a few more.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

I think Jocelyn and Lance might have that same idea, but I'd like to have something sooner than Christmas to show people. Plus, if this works out, I might make another one to send my mother, who didn't come to the wedding.

In other news, Jocelyn seems to have turned the corner with her anxiety and depression. She got some special tea which she has been drinking, plus I think the medications finally hit a therapeutic level in her body. Whatever, she is seeming more like herself, although her appetite isn't back to normal.

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Yay for Jocelyn!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Nice picture of you, Jane!

Is there a mistake in the caption for the first picture? I don't see Alyson singing. Which other brother is that?

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie said:


> Nice picture of you, Jane!
> 
> Is there a mistake in the caption for the first picture? I don't see Alyson singing. Which other brother is that?
> 
> L


Thanks for pointing out the mistake in the caption, Leslie. That is Adam singing with Dusty. The other 2 boys also sang. They are all great vocalists. Alyson, of course, was coming down the aisle with her father.


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

Jane - How wonderful that the guys all sang! What did they sing? I'll bet there wasn't a dry eye in the place!

You must be so proud of your family! They all look like wonderful people!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Tam said:


> Jane - How wonderful that the guys all sang! What did they sing? I'll bet there wasn't a dry eye in the place!
> 
> You must be so proud of your family! They all look like wonderful people!


Tam, I have no idea what song they selected to sing.  I will have to ask.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> Tam, I have no idea what song they selected to sing.  I will have to ask.


Hm, maybe it was "Here Comes the Bride." (Leslie ducks and runs. LOL)


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

You can run, but you can't hide! I am 100% positive it was not Here Comes the Bride!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

So, as I went through the photos from Eric (the volunteer but professional photographer)...

1) Lots of great pictures of Lance and Jocelyn. They are the most important people so that's great.
2) Lots of great formal pictures in front of the rhododendron.
3) Not a single picture from Friday night (the lobster bake). I am a little disappointed about that. I didn't invite him just to eat lobster! The only pictures we have are two pictures of the truck and one of Courtney setting the tables, which I took.
4) No pictures of me with my good (old) friends Chipper and Donna and Kathy and Peter. I certainly sat and talked with all four of them for plenty of time so you think he might've snapped a photo or two. 
5) Limited pictures of my husband's family. Not a group shot of all of them together. 
6) One nice picture of my sister and me. No pictures of her husband and only one (not terribly flattering) picture of my niece.

Other than that, they seem to be okay. I worked on my Picaboo album today and I am trying to create a story in Photobucket. I'll keep everyone posted.

L


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

How frustrating Leslie! I know you love the good shots, but wish he had taken more for you.

My sister in law loves to take pictures and she stood beside/behind the official photographer after the wedding, duplicating the photographer's shots. We were afraid she would be obnoxious but the photographer said she was nice & didn't get in her way or mess up any shots with her flash. She volunteered to drive the antique car to our house after the photos, so as soon as our family pics were done Dale & I were able to head off to the reception and be good hosts. So she was really helpful. And her photos were available the next day so we had pics to put on Facebook and print out for the grandmas, etc.

However, for some unknown reason she simply stopped taking photos when the groom's family was posing. So until the photographer gets them done, nobody has any of Jason's family. There is one of Dale & I with his parents and the bridal couple between us, but none of them with his parents, sister, and brothers. I guess she just didn't care about them. She cared enough to print out some pics and send to his parents - which was very kind - but not enough to actually take the shots they would be most interested in....

I guess someone from his family should have been taking pictures too. But there are some feuds and fights ther, so it was a miracle that they even were all there. I feel bad for his parents, who are seeing all these Facebook pictures with the notable exception of their family. It's awkward. I just hope the official pics are available soon!


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Jane, please don't think I'm not enjoying or commenting on your pictures, but after the first few, which I could see, I haven't been able to see a single one since then.. just photbucket boxes saying picture has been moved or deleted.

Since others are commenting and I assume this isn't an "Emporer's New Clothes" situation, it must be something to do with my computer..

I'll see later if I can see them on my Fire.

If I click on one of those boxes I can see the pictues of all the mobile homes piled up, which is fascinating and the Nancy Drew books..


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

*Seamonkey*, I don't know what happened! They are gone on my computer too! I know they were there yesterday! You are seeing Nancy Drew books? Those are the books I sold to Leslie a few years ago. You must be actually linking to my Photobucket site. If you want to see all 1000 pictures, here is the link. http://s281.photobucket.com/user/smith917/library/Feigenbaum%20Smith%20Wedding?sort=2&page=1

I can't imagine how bored you must be to see all these photos, but I don't know how else to post.

Calling *Leslie*!

I know it is probably not in good form to give out the link to my Photobucket albums, but there is nothing in there that would be offensive to anyone.

Let me know if you can access the album.


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Jane917 said:


> Here are Dusty and Adam singing the processional. This was a tear jerker. When everyone was down the aisle except Alyson, all the boys moved away and Dusty sang Alyson down the aisle.
> 
> 
> The ceremony
> ...


I did not remove these photos. Does anyone have any idea where they went?


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

That house is so cute!  The Roloffs should look at that for ideas for the house at their wedding venue (if they are still doing weddings on their farm).

Anyway, being able to click through them makes it pretty quick, but of course not as nice as seeing your narrative here and if the pictures showed.  I'm clueless as to why they disappear but happy it isn't just me  

Love those round yellow flowers!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Seamonkey said:


> That house is so cute! The Roloffs should look at that for ideas for the house at their wedding venue (if they are still doing weddings on their farm).
> 
> Anyway, being able to click through them makes it pretty quick, but of course not as nice as seeing your narrative here and if the pictures showed. I'm clueless as to why they disappear but happy it isn't just me


Who are the Roloffs?


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Oops..  the family in Little People, Big World.  They live in Oregon.  Mom, Dad and one son are Little People.  Their show ran for a few seasons and now they just do specials or a few episodes and they had a series where they started a wedding venue on Roloff Farms.  There was a house they used but nothing to touch the house at your venue!    Matt did actually build a volcano for one wedding..


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Seamonkey said:


> Oops.. the family in Little People, Big World. They live in Oregon. Mom, Dad and one son are Little People. Their show ran for a few seasons and now they just do specials or a few episodes and they had a series where they started a wedding venue on Roloff Farms. There was a house they used but nothing to touch the house at your venue! Matt did actually build a volcano for one wedding..


Duh! Now I remember who the Roloffs are. The house at our venue was actually a tiny cottage that was used by the wedding party to get dressed. It was very charming, but not livable. The owner of the farm lives in a big farm house with her own private grounds. The weddings go through the end of September when they have to cut them off so they can harvest apples.


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

The Roloffs, or actually Matt, had bought land adjacent to theirs and a barn and the house were there already and Amy set up that house to just be used in that way, too.  And the barn was more of a backdrop I guess, for the wedding area.  Matt as usual had huge ideas but it didn't seem as well thought through as it could have been.  However there were some weddings there.  It was sort of a work in progress.

Your venue is lovely.


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Because some of my wedding photos went missing, I am reposting them.

Here are Adam and Dusty singing the processional.



The start of the ceremony.



Dr and Dr Smith


Me, Russ, Alyson, Dusty.


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

You have a lovely family!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Thank you, Seamonkey!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Okay team, here I am, back again...

Do you remember my search for hand towels, napkins, etc. for the wedding? In the process, I bought some packs of folded napkins which I was going to use in the bathroom, but ended up buying the Kleenex hand towels instead (for the bathroom). We've been using the folded napkins (in holders) for dinner since then. When we eat inside (9 months of the year) for dinner, we use cloth napkins. When we eat on the porch (the current season) we use paper napkins. I have actually liked the larger, fluffier napkins I bought for the wedding (planning to use in the bathroom, until that plan changed) for dinner. But now they have run out. I bought two packs of 50 (100 total) for $8.90 which works out to $0.08/napkin.

Being the Amazon shopper that I am, I thought I might buy some napkins from Amazon to keep on hand. Of course, the best deal is to buy 3000 napkins! (LOL) but the price works out to $0.01 each (what a deal). Am I insane to buy this many napkins? Thoughts are welcome.

http://www.amazon.com/Georgia-Pacific-Preference-Dinner-Napkin-Length/dp/B004NG90GC/ref=pd_rhf_dp_p_img_7

L


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie said:


> Okay team, here I am, back again...
> 
> Do you remember my search for hand towels, napkins, etc. for the wedding? In the process, I bought some packs of folded napkins which I was going to use in the bathroom, but ended up buying the Kleenex hand towels instead (for the bathroom). We've been using the folded napkins (in holders) for dinner since then. When we eat inside (9 months of the year) for dinner, we use cloth napkins. When we eat on the porch (the current season) we use paper napkins. I have actually liked the larger, fluffier napkins I bought for the wedding (planning to use in the bathroom, until that plan changed) for dinner. But now they have run out. I bought two packs of 50 (100 total) for $8.90 which works out to $0.08/napkin.
> 
> ...


Do you have a lot of storage space? We buy the Costco Vanity napkin pack, which lasts us a long time. I think they are very similar to the ones you are looking at at Amazon. If you use paper napkins when you eat in the house, they will go fast, and seem to be cheaper than the soap and water you spend on washing cloth napkins. Just my take.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Jane917 said:


> Do you have a lot of storage space? We buy the Costco Vanity napkin pack, which lasts us a long time. I think they are very similar to the ones you are looking at at Amazon. If you use paper napkins when you eat in the house, they will go fast, and seem to be cheaper than the soap and water you spend on washing cloth napkins. Just my take.


We do have space in the shed to store stuff and I seem to have a fetish about laying in paper supplies--at any given time we have a mountain of toilet paper rolls as well as paper towels. Adding napkins to the mix is probably not that strange although 30 packs of 100 seems like a lot. LOL.


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

Leslie said:


> We do have space in the shed to store stuff and I seem to have a fetish about laying in paper supplies--at any given time we have a mountain of toilet paper rolls as well as paper towels. Adding napkins to the mix is probably not that strange although 30 packs of 100 seems like a lot. LOL.


As long as your storage shed does not catch on fire it sounds like you are A-OK!

I need to go back to your comment on using cloth napkins. We used to always use cloth napkins. I used to sew and quilt a lot. With all my extra scraps I made napkins. When my kids were younger (and living at home) they were mortified when I came to the table wearing something that matched the napkins. I still have all the napkins, but the matching clothing is long gone.


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

You are not insane!  You have the room and you are looking forward to years of meals out on the porch and you won't have to shop for napkins!  You may have another big party or perhaps a baby shower, though I suppose that might call for themed napkins.

I have shelves in my garage and always have toilet paper, paper towels, kitty litter, pepsi, distilled water, bleach, etc., stored out there.. uh I think there are some peanut butter pretzels as well.   

Just makes sense to me.

I guess, being single (the cat only sees paper napkins as shredding opportunities), I store napkins in the kitchen and often with fast food comes a bunch of napkins so they last beyond that meal but I have nice big napkins too, plus I buy Viva paper towels which do nicely as napkins in a pinch.

Of course, I am, perhaps insane.  In that case....  others may be as well. 

Yes, fire could be an issue, or, perhaps, a pack rat.  I had a friend who lived in Topanga Canyon and she had a pack rat.  He or she didn't just stick to shiny objects, though shiny objects were taken, but items such as sandpaper and other paper products and string.. lots of string.  She actually quite enjoyed seeing what would disappear next.  Finally she followed the string and found the nest and retrieved anything of value.  There was shredded paper, too.


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## A. S. Warwick (Jan 14, 2011)

My fiance and are are getting married in exactly 11 weeks. Seems to be rushing up rather fast...

For it we are having a theme - a Steampunk/Victorian one, with a High Tea afterwards rather than a dinner reception.

Somehow in the next 10 weeks I have to continue studies, pack and organise a move from one side of Australia to the other.

We did something a little different for our wedding invites. For it I wrote a short story and a friend of my fiance did illustrations for it. The invites were done as small booklets which turned out rather well. The images for it can be seen here - http://brassandsteam.blogspot.com.au/2013/07/steampunk-wedding-invite.html


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## Tatiana (Aug 20, 2010)

Seven days until my DS marries his childhood best friend.  The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are this evening.  It's catered and will be held at a friend's home.  Our wedding planner is handling all the details,  I have had to do very little for the rehearsal dinner.  After tonight it's just cleaning the house for the family that is coming in on Friday evening and helping to decorate the church for the ceremony and reception.  I'm sure the next week will whiz by quickly.


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

A. S. Warwick said:


> My fiance and are are getting married in exactly 11 weeks. Seems to be rushing up rather fast...
> 
> For it we are having a theme - a Steampunk/Victorian one, with a High Tea afterwards rather than a dinner reception.
> 
> ...


Your wedding booklets are wonderful! What a great keepsake. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, and best wishes for many years of happiness.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Tatiana said:


> Seven days until my DS marries his childhood best friend. The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are this evening. It's catered and will be held at a friend's home. Our wedding planner is handling all the details, I have had to do very little for the rehearsal dinner. After tonight it's just cleaning the house for the family that is coming in on Friday evening and helping to decorate the church for the ceremony and reception. I'm sure the next week will whiz by quickly.


The wedding's today!!! We want details! Hope you're having fun!

Betsy


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Very creative invitation!! Can't wait for more on the preparations and especially the wedding, when the time comes.



Cindy416 said:


> Your wedding booklets are wonderful! What a great keepsake. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, and best wishes for many years of happiness.


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Tatiana, it is a lovely day here in So Cal.. hope you are having equally wonderful weather and know you are having fun and making memories.  We want to hear about it!


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## Tatiana (Aug 20, 2010)

Seamonkey said:


> Tatiana, it is a lovely day here in So Cal.. hope you are having equally wonderful weather and know you are having fun and making memories. We want to hear about it!


The wedding was fabulous. The bride was beautiful, my DS looked so handsome. So many happy tears were shed by the mother of the bride (one of my closest friends for the last 18 years) and me that I am surprised we all weren't washed away. 

The brides grandfather who is a minister, and our minister for the last 18 years performed the ceremony. It was an intensely moving service for everyone involved. Dozens of our church family and friends helped organize the church and the reception...decorating, making desserts and cookies, cleaning up, celebrating with us. It was amazing. About 180 of our church family attended from as far away as Seattle, Dallas and Columbus, OH. Twenty family members were able to come - my sister (who I haven't seen in 5 years) came in from PA, DH's sister came from NJ, and our daughter from Miami. There was laughter and happy tears and joy.

Our wedding planner is magnificent. The extra blessing is that she is a long time friend of both families and she loves the kids as if they were her own. The wedding was at 6:00 pm with a dessert reception to follow. It began to rain about 3:30 but the families were already at the church so it didn't affect us much. It did stop long enough for the sparkler send off about 10:00 which was a nice ending for the day. During the mother-son dance my son was so sweet and thanked me for the celebrations. Before the ceremony DS gave me a double strand pearl bracelet and the bride gave one to her mother.

I'll post a couple of photos within the next couple of days...DD just called and we are going to dinner as she leaves tomorrow for Miami. Thank you for all the kind thoughts and wishes. It meant a lot to know my friends here were thinking of us yesterday.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Thanks for this report, Tatiana. I am so glad it was a wonderful day for you, your family, and all your friends. 

Looking forward to seeing the pictures!

L


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

Tatiana, I'm so happy to hear that your son's wedding was wonderful. Please post photos soon,


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## Seamonkey (Dec 2, 2008)

Sounds perfect!  Can't wait to see the pictures.


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## A. S. Warwick (Jan 14, 2011)

Down to just 2 weeks for mine now as well.

Still so much to do.  Removalists arrive in two days, fly out in 8 days - and in that time have to complete 2 major assignments.  Its no wonder I havent had a chance to do any writing for a while...


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## A. S. Warwick (Jan 14, 2011)

So the big day is tomorrow.  It's a bit weird, I always thought I'd be more nervous but I'm not much at all.  Maybe closer to the actual time. I will be.


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

A. S. Warwick said:


> So the big day is tomorrow. It's a bit weird, I always thought I'd be more nervous but I'm not much at all. Maybe closer to the actual time. I will be.


So the big day was yesterday. We're looking forward to a report, and maybe some pictures!


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## A. S. Warwick (Jan 14, 2011)

After a week with no Internet access, I can actually give a report. Wedding went well. Oddly enough I really wasn't nervous, even with hitherto half hour delay waiting for the bride to turn up. We had a bit of a theme to the wedding, being steam punk influenced, though it did turn out more Victorian with a few steam punk elements. A lot of the guests got into the act too, which was nice. Married in an old (well, old for Australia) Victorian era church. We had a high tea reception rather than a sit down meal, which was nice. All the guests received a tea cup and saucer hand painted by an artist friend of my wife as a thank you gift that went down well.

A series of photos are available at a place called wedpics - I'm sure more will be added as time goes on. https://www.wedpics.com/album/MTI0MzA3

Honeymoon was nice too - went on a bit of a tour, seeing historical places and doing a lot of tasting. Cheese, chocolate, olives, chutneys, toffee, honey, wine, mead, cider, port and whisky. Was a decadence we may never have a chance to experience again. Highlight was a taste from a $500 bottle of award winning whisky. Amazingly smooth. Not something I will ever be able to afford.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Love the pics--looks like a great time!

Betsy


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## mlewis78 (Apr 19, 2009)

Great wedding pictures, A.S. Warwick!


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

Looks like a lovely day. Thanks for the pictures!


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## Jane917 (Dec 29, 2009)

What a great day! Thanks for the pics.


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## mlewis78 (Apr 19, 2009)

Thought I'd add to this old thread with a few photos from my nephew's wedding Saturday (May 3, 2014). It was in Atlanta at the Foundry at Puritan Mill (former warehouse being used for events). The first photo is of bride and groom (Tyler and John Lewis) with flower girls Collins and Frances. Frances is my grandniece. The preview here showed everyone, but the end result is that the picture is too large and Frances is cut off on the right. I posted 16 photos on my facebook page.


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## mlewis78 (Apr 19, 2009)




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## mlewis78 (Apr 19, 2009)

Frances with her father Hunter (brother to the groom):


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

Love your recent wedding photos, mlewis! Looks like a beautiful wedding.


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## mlewis78 (Apr 19, 2009)

Cindy416 said:


> Love your recent wedding photos, mlewis! Looks like a beautiful wedding.


Thanks Cindy.


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## Cindy416 (May 2, 2009)

You're very welcome. It's fun to see happy occasions (and beautiful/handsome brides and grooms, as well as adorable children) captured in photos.


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## JETaylor (Jan 25, 2011)

Speaking of photos, my daughter is thinking of having her friend take the wedding photos for her and sent me some of the "engagement" photos that she did today. Granted they were the raw untouched photos but I can tell the difference between these and a professional photographer. I don't think she has the grade equipment needed either.  

On the plus side, it would save us money - but is that really where you want to skimp?  I don't think it's a smart move.  Especially if there is no contract or anything of that nature. 

So how do I gracefully tell her no?


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## Leslie (Apr 7, 2008)

JETaylor said:


> So how do I gracefully tell her no?


Say, "Thank you, but no."

My biggest disappointment from Lance and Jocelyn's wedding (the event that started this thread) was the photographer. It was a guy who was a "quasi-professional" photographer--he would do all the wedding photos and his son (a friend of Lance) was going to make up an album for them as his gift for the wedding.

Let's start at the end--the wedding album gift has never materialized. So much for that.

The "quasi-photog" -- he got invited for the lobster dinner on Friday night (and thoroughly enjoyed the lobster!) but took zero (0) photos. So we don't have a single picture from that event. But he had a nice dinner. Exactly why was he invited?

During the wedding, he was busy snapping pictures and then his batteries (he said he had 3) all ran out, so we have hardly any pictures from the reception. We have very few pictures of my family, my husband's family, or my out of town friends. We have dozens of the bride in front of the beautiful rhododendron--but looking back, I would've liked more of a balance.

I think people think you can do pictures "on the cheap"--"I am a good photographer, I have a camera!" but I learned the hard way that a professional photographer is going to do what you ask him/her to do and not be busy eating lobster and drinking beer. Plus, the after-production is important. I threw together a little 12 page album (using a coupon I got from Amazon to some picture site) of pictures I cobbled together and that is the only wedding album I have (and now, almost 12 months later, I am not expecting anything else, which is fine).

What I learned is that I would hire a professional and then be very clear and specific about what I wanted for photos. Give them lists of who to take pictures of, be clear what you want for family pictures and so on. You are paying, you are the boss. Make your wishes known.

And, most of all, stay away from the "quasi-professional" photog.

For the gracefully saying no part, "Oh, I am sure you want to enjoy the wedding and not be worrying about taking pictures. Any candid photos you want to take are great and thanks in advance for that..."


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## Andra (Nov 19, 2008)

I agree with Leslie.  My husband has done some wedding photography and it is definitely a LOT of work.  He has professional cameras, an entire box devoted to batteries, and I don't know how many different flashes and light meters and stuff like that.  He spends the ENTIRE wedding and reception taking photos.  There is no time for him to enjoy any of the events.  And then once he gets home, he has another 2-3 hours of processing time for each hour that he took photos (and that's being conservative).  If the lighting was bad or things like that, he spends much more time cleaning up. 
I don't think someone who offers to take the photos has any idea what they are getting into.
Hire a good photographer and be very specific in what you want.  In fact, put it in writing.  That is better for you and easier for the photographer to work from.  Good luck and congratulations to your daughter.


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## JETaylor (Jan 25, 2011)

Thank you Leslie and Andra.  

Their friend took engagement photos - which are nice, but definitely amateur.  I told my daughter no for the wedding but if her friend wants to take shots for her portfolio - she's more than welcome to.  

I'm glad she did the engagement photos - it gave me the confidence that I was completely on point doubting that this was a good idea. 

Leslie, I'm sorry to hear about the photo disaster and I hope that wedding album materializes in some way.


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## SunshineOnMe (Jan 11, 2014)

Beautiful pictures of a precious day!  Congratulations!


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## A. S. Warwick (Jan 14, 2011)

I concur on getting a professional to do the photos.

We were lucky in that my wife (and now I) work with a professional photographer - he does about 12 weddings a year plus other events.  Came out as a significant chunk of our budget, maybe 20-25% of the overall cost, but was well worth it.


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