# Dating My Vibrator (and other true fiction) Divorced? Dating? check it out!



## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

*Honorable Mention from Red Adept! She says, "...the writing style was terrific, with good imagery.*

Here's a link http://redadeptreviews.com/

*Dating My Vibrator (and other true fiction)* is now .99 cents!on Kindle--it's collection of nine short stories all based (unfortunately) on my own experience. Dating, divorce, desperation--all that good stuff. After nineteen years of marriage I was thrust into a brave new world of dating: online, offline, standing in line, listening to lines. And I have survived to tell these tales. CAUTION: if you're contemplating divorce, these stories may convince you to consider marriage counseling. If you're out there dating, chances are you will relate. OMG! Here's a scary thought: maybe you've met some of these guys.

*J.A. Konrath gave it a 5 star review on Amazon and says, "Pure comedic brilliance."
Blake Crouch gave it a 5 star review also and says, "Absolutely freaking hysterical!" *

Of course, they're both horror/thriller writers--some of the dates I write about were pretty horrific, so I guess they relate.

The stories are not all about dating--it's a somewhat eclectic collection. I hope you check it out!

Thanks,
Suzanne

Thanks,
Suzanne

Oh, and here's a link to my blog http://ghostplanestory.blogspot.com/


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## SarahBarnard (Jul 28, 2010)

Pulled the sample and will have a look.


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## julieannfelicity (Jun 28, 2010)

Sounds intriguing - I'm going to have a looksy as well


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Thank you Sarah and Julieann! I will check your books out too. This is an incredible community!


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## SarahBarnard (Jul 28, 2010)

It looks like a proper giggle and might be just the thing for a friend.


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks for viewing this thread--sorry if I put it up in the wrong place. I'm new at this. I meant to put it in the Book Bazaar! 

Suzanne


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## LCEvans (Mar 29, 2009)

Hi, Suzanne. I tagged your book and sampled. 

Linda


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## RonnellDPorter (Apr 20, 2010)




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## CDChristian (Jun 4, 2010)

I absolutely love the title and the cover! It put a big smile on face. I'm going to have to check this out.


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## Guest (Aug 11, 2010)

RonnellDPorter said:


> .


Pffff HAHA I feel so bad for him!


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

For those of you who like my cover--the artist is Jeroen Ten Berge. He is incredibly imaginative--came up with several versions very quickly. I highly recommend him. Check out his website. http://jeroentenberge.com/


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Welcome to KindleBoards, Suzanne, and congratulations on your book!

Just as a matter of housekeeping, we put a copy of the "welcome letter" in each book thread. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, just helps us know that you know the rules. So here it is!

We invite you to use your book cover as your avatar and have links to your book and website in your signature. Don't forget to bookmark this thread (using your browser's bookmark/favorite function) so you can update it. Although self-promotion is limited to the Book Bazaar, most of our authors have found the best way to promote their books is to be as active throughout KindleBoards as time allows. This is your target audience--book lovers with Kindles!

Thanks for being part of KindleBoards! Feel free to PM us if you have any questions.

Betsy & Ann
Book Bazaar Moderators

_The fine print:
Please add to your existing book thread when you have news about your book rather than start a new one, it helps the members who are trying to follow you. You may have a separate thread for each of your books. We recommend you bookmark your post so that you can find it in the future.  You may respond to all posts, but if there have been no member posts, we ask that you wait a week before "bumping" the thread by posting back-to-back posts of your own. And we ask that Amazon reviews not be repeated here as they are easy to find at your book link. Also, full reviews from other sites should not be posted here, but you may post a short blurb and a link to the full review instead. All this, and more, is included in our Forum Decorum. From time to time our site rules may change; be sure to check Forum Decorum (http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,36.0.html) for the current guidelines and rules. _


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## Harrisg44 (Aug 12, 2010)

I enjoyed the book so much, I'm rereading some of the stories when I need a laugh!  Love the one where you met the weight challenged guy who disliked over weight women.  I wondered is he ever looked in the mirror. As a "weight challenged" woman, I've long noticed the double standard.  It's okay for a guy to be overweight but if a woman is just 5 pounds over weight these same guys make fun of her.  Look at the controversy over famous women who put on a few pounds and heaven forbid go from a size two to a size four!  Harrisg44


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Unfortunately, Gail, that story is almost verbatim based on a real date I had. And, yes, it's incredible that men can have such double standards about women. The guy definitely had issues about women's weight--even made a comment in his eHarmony profile about how he couldn't date an overweight woman. And, he kept implying how athletic he is--said he he's into basketball. Apparently he enjoys playing with his remote!


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## TLJun (Aug 12, 2010)

I have read a number of these stories more than once, and I still laugh each time.  Suzanne, you're a marvelous writer, and these stories are priceless.


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## kjcrowder (Aug 13, 2010)

I know this book is going to be fantastic!


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Sampled last night, bought today...  only 1/3 through it so far but this is hilarious...  and scarily real...


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Love the cover and title!

Joel


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## Guest (Aug 13, 2010)

The title alone will sell you millions!


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## thartmann (Aug 13, 2010)

I bought the book and it's very funny. I rooted for her to PLEASE get hooked up with a nice person... Tyrpak has a knack with words and can tell a good story. Great observations about people and life--her life, her date's body language etc... I couldn't put it down. In the end, I thought, you know, she's right, at least a vibrator is reliable. I can hardly wait for the sequel!


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## Marisa14 (Jun 30, 2010)

Nice cover


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Thank you, Susan, Joel, MR, and Madeleine--and everyone who's taken a peek!


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## kjreader (Aug 10, 2010)

MR Mathias said that I should read this.  I guess I will as it looks like the story of my life.  But I have to finish his big book first.


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Just over a week ago, I discovered Kindle Boards--and it's a great community Thanks to everyone who's checked out this thread. 

It's been a good week for DMV. Got a five star review from Liz in Eugene, Oregon. She says I'm a _naughty girl_, of course I am! I'd love to hear from all you _*naughty girls!*_ (and boys)--*tell me about your worst dates!*

Without giving too much away--here are a few of the dating stories from my collection:

_*Dharma Dan*_--a Buddhist (or should I say, boobist) in love with appletinis

_*Downhill*_-- a ski date (not a date) that ends in near disaster

_*Double Date*_--Did you know: a bull -balls = ox? Or, dating a schizoid

_*Dating My Vibrator*_--online dating gone berserk. Or, is he the Taj Mahal?

Don't you feel better already? Can't wait to hear from you!

Suzanne


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Kindle and my book just got a great write-up in my local newspaper, _The Durango Herald_. The article also quotes Kindle authors Joe Konrath and Blake Crouch. Thought you might like to read it.

Here's a link: http://www.durangoherald.com/sections/A&E/2010/09/03/Kindle_helps_local_writers_get_out_the_words/

Or just Google the Durango Herald--Kindle


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## Guest (Sep 3, 2010)

I just read the article.  That is Sooooooo cooool!


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

I just had an interview posted on Kipp Speicher's cool blog. Please check it out:
http://kippoe.blogspot.com/2010/09/suzanne-tyrpak-interview.html

Kipp is doing interviews and reviews--I saw his thread yesterday on Amazon, contacted him, and today my interview is up! Plus, he said he'd do another interview when my next book, *Vestal Virgin* comes out. So...I recommend that writers (and readers) check out his blog and contact him.


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## johnda183 (Sep 7, 2010)

Suzanne - great interview.  I'll be submitting one to Kip as well.  I'll definitely check out your book since it seems very funny.  Check out mine if you get a chance: "6001 Things You Won't Miss When You're Dead."  Thanks!


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

johnda183 said:


> Suzanne - great interview. I'll be submitting one to Kip as well. I'll definitely check out your book since it seems very funny. Check out mine if you get a chance: "6001 Things You Won't Miss When You're Dead." Thanks!


Thanks John,

I will check your book out--great title. Why don't you include the cover and a link as a signature?

Suzanne


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## Guest (Sep 20, 2010)

I think I told you that my mom was reading this...    Thanks for the great review today.  You are an awsome person!


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## Tyler Nunnally (Jun 30, 2010)

Suzanne, the interview and article are both wonderful! Hopefully, they have boosted sales for you  I was wondering if you'd like to participate in a segment I do with Featured Authors and their favorite scene/page from their books. Your book looks great and my book is geared to a largely female audience, which hopefully, we both could benefit from. If so, please email me at [email protected] with your cover image, author blurb, and fave scene/page and any links, etc you'd like to include.

Good luck with all your ventures!


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks so much, guys!

I got a nice review from Candy at *Candy's Raves*. Here's a link:
http://candysraves.com/2010/09/dating-my-vibrator-and-other-true-fiction-by-suzanne-tyrpak-kindle-only/

She wanted a bit more, though, and said she thinks something is missing. A member on Goodreads suggested *batteries!*

Why didn't I think of that? I need your opinion--should I state: batteries not included?


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

*Dating My Vibrator (and other true fiction)* just got two new great reviews from guys! I think it's cool that men are reading the collection.

Tyler Nunnally of _Reading is Fundamental_ says:
"Women will definitely relate, while men will laugh and ponder whether they've done something similarly stupid in their past. To her credit, Ms. Tyrpak hasn't created a stage where she is blaming men, she simply tells us many wonderful stories about the interactions that take place in today's dating world (Internet included )..."

I'm so glad to hear men are also enjoying the stories. Then again, *Robert Fanney*, who was kind enough to list the book on Goodreads, did tag the book as: *self-help!*


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Just had to post my big news here. J.A. Konrath gave my book a 5 star review on Amazon. Says, "Pure comedic brilliance." 
So did Blake Crouch! He says, "Hilarious!!!"


Check out a sample (below) and see all the reviews at Amazon.


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## Christopher Smith (Aug 3, 2010)

Buying it now!


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks Christopher--sounds like your book is really taking off!


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Just lowered the price on my collection of nine short stories:

now .99 cents on Kindle--as an experiment!


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## J R Lankford (Oct 29, 2010)

Hi, Suzanne.  Just bought your book and started it.  You can really write.  Look forward to the rest of the read.

Jamie


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Red Adept is featuring*Dating My Vibrator (and other true fiction)* today. She says, "the writing style was terrific, with good imagery."

Here's a link: http://redadeptreviews.com/

And thanks to everyone who's voted for my Eulogy in the Red Adept Eulogy Contest! Please check it out.

The collection is .99 cents on Kindle.

Thanks,
Suzanne


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## Karen Fenech (Jul 1, 2010)

Hi Suzanne,

Congratulations on the great quote from Red Adept and the feature!  

Regards,
Karen


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

Congrats, Suzanne. I pretty much purchase anything Red Adept enjoys, so your book is now in the collection.


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## Lacey Diamond (Oct 8, 2010)

I need to go check out this book pronto!

Lacey


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## luvshihtzu (Dec 19, 2008)

I just bought your book and am just starting the read, but am a bit disappointed in that there is no cover shown for the book on my Kindle.  Really liked that cover.


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

If you're recently divorced, dating, single--the holidays can be a drag. 

But wait! These nine stories (based on my own experiences) may make you laugh! Just .99 cents on Kindle.

Please check them out.


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

First of all, thanks to everyone who bought my book! My sales more than quadrupled in November.

I've been writing for a long time, and it's exciting to have readers. 

I'd also like to thank everyone who's helped promote the book:

*Joe Konrath * http://www.jakonrath.com/

*Blake Crouch * http://www.blakecrouch.com/

*The Frugal eReader*--posted the book as one of November's top-sellers http://www.thefrugalereader.com/2010/12/novembers-ten-most-popular-frugal-finds.html

*The Romance Reviews*--featured the book http://www.theromancereviews.com/viewbooksreview.php?bookid=796

*Red Adept* for her wonderful eulogy contest--I wrote a eulogy for a character from the book and the eulogy won first place! You can read all the winners here: http://redadeptreviews.com/?p=3867&cpage=1#comment-2337

And *Philip Chen, author of Falling Star* who created a great *Realistic Fiction List* http://www.amazon.com/lm/RV9ERGZELN3TD/ref=cm_lm_pthnk_view?ie=UTF8&lm_bb


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

luvshihtzu said:


> I just bought your book and am just starting the read, but am a bit disappointed in that there is no cover shown for the book on my Kindle. Really liked that cover.


Sorry to respond so late--I just saw this. The cover is now part of the download! Thanks for this!


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## Dana Taylor (Jan 8, 2010)

It's fun and encouraging to see all this action.  Thanks for sharing!

Dana


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Dana Taylor said:


> It's fun and encouraging to see all this action. Thanks for sharing!
> 
> Dana


Thanks Dana! I always enjoy hearing about the success of writers--especially Indies!

My big news this week: I just loaded my historical suspense novel, *Vestal Virgin*, onto Kindle. It should be live soon! And it will be sale priced for .99 cents through January 1st. *Dating My Vibrator (and other true fiction)* remains at .99 cents.

I hope everyone is having a great holiday season. 

Suzanne


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

It's been a great week--I launched my new novel, and now I'm selling more copies of *Dating My Vibrator (and other true fiction)*.

Also, I've been hanging out in the UK--met a lot of friendly people there, and now I'm getting some sales.

People have asked me to write more short stories about dating, but I've put dating on a back-burner. *Okay, I'll tell you a secret: I've been hanging out with a character from my stories. Can you guess who? If you can, let me know (PM me here or on my blog)--send me his name by Christmas, and I'll send you a free copy of Vestal Virgin!*

I'm not saying any more! Wow! Can't keep my mouth shut, can I?

*Happy Holidays,
*

Suzanne
*p.s. both of my books are just .99 cents right now*


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Did you get a Kindle for Christmas? Check out my short stories--dating, divorce, desperation.

I'm sure, after reading them, you'll feel better about your own life!

What a deal for .99 cents 

*Happy New Year!*

Suzanne


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

*Dating My Vibrator (and other true fiction)* just received another 5 star review! (That makes 11 out of 16.)
See it here: http://www.amazon.com/DATING-VIBRATOR-other-fiction-ebook/product-reviews/B003XYFN5M/ref=cm_cr_pr_recent?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending

What's new?

I recently wrote a 10 minute play based on the stories, and entered a contest. I'll keep you posted! The stories work well as performance pieces--and I've read them a number of times for a live audience. When I lived in New York City, I was an actress, so I think that helps me with comedic timing. I worked in Off and Off-off Broadway theater with groups including Theater for the New City, Riverside Church, and Charles Ludlam's Ridiculous Theatrical Company.


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## Kelly Haven (Jan 20, 2011)

This sounds great! I'll be sure to check it out this weekend.


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## Rob Alex (Jul 6, 2010)

Great book it was really funny.  I don't write fiction but I write Sexy Challenges and I can relate to all your worries and scared feelings.  Keep up the good work.


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## BarbaraSilkstone (Feb 18, 2010)

Suzanne, you're a stitch. You should be illegal and probably are in most states.


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## Rob Alex (Jul 6, 2010)

Wow this book is great


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Thank you Zob! Glad you like the stories.  

Kelly, I'm gonna check out your book too!

And, Barbara, what can I say...takes one to know one? I love your writing!


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## Rob Alex (Jul 6, 2010)

any other books in the works?


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## KBoards Admin (Nov 27, 2007)

Please welcome Dating My Vibrator as our KB Book of the Day!


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## esper_d (May 2, 2009)

just got it


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks Zob and esper, for checking out my stories!


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## Rob Alex (Jul 6, 2010)

Sent a message out to my FB fans of sexy challenges about your books hopefully it will pick you up some sales.
Zob


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks Zob! I look forward to reading your Sexy Meditation book.


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Looks Hot Zob!

I guest posted on Jenny Bean's blog today http://jennybeans.net/2011/02/11/guest-blog-suzanne-tyrpak-why-i-chose-self-publishing/ about why I chose to self-publish.

Also posted on T.L. Haddix's blog. The topic: Romancing Romance http://tlhaddix.com/content/2011/02/romancing-romance-by-author-suzanne-tyrpak/comment-page-1/#comment-1689


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

The cover of *Dating My Vibrator (and other true fiction)* has been banned from Facebook.

In an effort to inform readers, I've added this statement to my product description:

*Warning: This cover has been banned by Facebook. (Someone objected to a cylinder in a tuxedo.) Proceed at your own risk--PG-13 rated content!
*

Please be advised.


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

New Facebook Safe Cover!!!

About a week ago, Facebook banned my cover. But, thanks to Jeroen ten Berge, cover design genius, you and your loved ones are now safe! My new "safe for Facebook" pixelated cover will protect you from unseemly thoughts.

Please check out my Facebook page here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Suzanne-Tyrpak/144232238928903?ref=ts


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## BarbaraSilkstone (Feb 18, 2010)

Dating My Vibrator was painfully realistic and hysterically funny. I'm going to check out how you modified the cyclinder for FaceBook.


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks Barbara--I just bought *The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland*. Loved *The Adventures of a Love Investigator*. I think that book should be required reading for anyone who's going back to dating after a divorce!


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

To everyone who's bought my collection of short stories: *Thank you!*

So far, March has been my best month ever for sales, and *Dating My Vibrator (and other true fiction)* has received several more great reviews. The book has been doing very well in the US and in the UK--very exciting for me. I'm working on another collection of short stories--weird, disturbing tales--which I plan to bring out at the end of the summer. Also working on my next novel, Agathon's Daughter.

So many great things happening for me--thanks to all the great readers and writers on these boards and elsewhere. Now...if I could just learn to live without sleep...


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## DDScott (Aug 13, 2010)

SuzanneTyrpak said:


> To everyone who's bought my collection of short stories: *Thank you!*
> 
> So far, March has been my best month ever for sales, and *Dating My Vibrator (and other true fiction)* has received several more great reviews. The book has been doing very well in the US and in the UK--very exciting for me. I'm working on another collection of short stories--weird, disturbing tales--which I plan to bring out at the end of the summer. Also working on my next novel, Agathon's Daughter.
> 
> So many great things happening for me--thanks to all the great readers and writers on these boards and elsewhere. Now...if I could just learn to live without sleep...


Congrats on all your fabulous success, Suzanne!

I just bought the book too!!!

Looking forward to a LMAO great read!!!


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## wyndwitch (Feb 23, 2011)

It was a pleasure to have you on my blog Suzanne! Your short story collection certainly sounds amusing, and enjoyed the exert from vestal virgins!


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks DD and Kristina. Always glad to make someone laugh!


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## JamesGrenton (Mar 17, 2011)

Terrific cover. I just used Jeroen ten Berge for the cover of my own novel. He's brilliant.


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## SpecOps (Feb 20, 2011)

Interesting combination of title and PG-13


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

NickSireau said:


> Terrific cover. I just used Jeroen ten Berge for the cover of my own novel. He's brilliant.


I love Jeroen! He's super creative, and he has a great sense of humor.


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

SpecOps said:


> Interesting combination of title and PG-13


Definitely not PG-17--those kids are waaay ahead of me!


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

*THANKS!!!*

Thanks to everyone who's bought my collection of short stories! This week I was thrilled to see this:

*Dating My Vibrator # 211 in the uk! *

Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (5 customer reviews) 
Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #211 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store) 
#1 in Books > Romance > Short Stories 
#1 in Books > Fiction > Women Writers & Fiction > Short Stories 
#2 in Books > Biography > Social & Health Issues > Divorce


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks Sibel!  

I love your blog--fun place to hang out.


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

My short stories are popular in the UK!

Bestsellers Rank: #202 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store) 
#2 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Fiction > Short Stories 
#2 in Books > Fiction > Women Writers & Fiction > Short Stories 
#2 in Books > Biography > Social & Health Issues > Divorce

Thanks again to everyone who's bought *Dating My Vibrator (and other true fiction)*. I'm working on a new collection of short stories. *Ghost Plane and other disturbing tales* will be released this fall. The stories will have a different tone...weird.


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

Looking for a fun, fast read--check out my short stories.


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

If you haven't checked out my short stories, please do!

I just loaded a new cover: safe for Facebook.


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## BarbaraSilkstone (Feb 18, 2010)

Suz, 
Love your new cover!
I just re-did my Fractured Fairy Tale covers. I'm wearing grownup covers now. 

I hope they show up in my signature.
Fingers crossed and here we go!
Barbara


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

LOL, Barbara. Now I have to figure out how to change my sig.


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## amiblackwelder (Mar 19, 2010)

OMG! That is hilarious and I think I might just have to do that!
amiblackwelder.blogspot.com


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

@ Ami 

I forgot to mention: I wrote a short play based on the collection, and I'm happy to announce that it will be presented, along with four other short plays, at the Durango Arts Center--as the grand finale to our local art festival!

The play was entered into their 10 minute play competition http://durangoarts.org/theater/10-minute-play-contest


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

I had a great time yesterday at the Durango Literary Festival
http://www.durangopubliclibrary.org/screens/LiteraryFestival2011.html

The festival kicked off with author Emily Giffin. She is truly delightful and entertaining. I look forward to reading her books.

I was on a panel discussing *The Future of the Book*. The discussion was lively and interesting. I especially enjoyed the input of a sales rep from Random House. (And she bought my novel!)

I've had some interest in *Dating My Vibrator and other true fiction* as a possible movie. Now, that would be sweeeet!


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## SuzanneTyrpak (Aug 10, 2010)

After being married for nineteen years, my husband wanted a divorce. The good new is that we're still friends. In fact, when I recently had a bad accident resulting in three emergency surgeries and an amputated toe, he really helped me out. So that's a happy ending. However, dating wasn't quite as happy. 

These nine short stories reflect my experience. Most people find many of the stories funny. Some people don't. I can't guarantee you will, but I do guarantee that I poured my heart into these stories, and I love sharing them with readers.

Thanks to everyone who's bought them!

Suzanne


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