# eBully: a YA Novel about Cyberbullying -- FREE at AMAZON, MARCH 27, 2012



## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

First page of eBully

Carly Gillette heard the unmistakable sound of her vibrating cell phone as she sat at the kitchen table leafing through catalogs with her mother. She tracked the intermittent, almost sub-aural buzz until she saw the phone on the countertop next to the toaster oven. It rotated a quarter-turn with each buzz as she watched in horror. Hiding her feelings was something she'd gotten good at recently, but there was no way she could fool her own mother. Not for much longer, anyway. "Be right back," she said cheerily as she pushed back her chair and scrambled to the countertop.

"You and those phones," she heard her mother saying. "Can't you girls go a half-hour without knowing what the other is thinking?" She knew her mother was smiling. She didn't have a clue. Not about this.

Her face sagged as she slipped into the nearest refuge - the bathroom -- and pushed the door closed. It had been almost twenty-four hours since the last one. She'd thought it might be over. Her hands were shaking even before she pulled the phone out and looked at the screen. She felt sick to her stomach when she saw the text message. Whoever was doing this wasn't going away.

*I'm Watching You. We all are. Everybody knows what u did.*

The message was just like the others. She had no idea what it was about or who had sent it. The phone dropped from her hands to land face down on the floor. She didn't even have time to wonder if it had broken because it began to vibrate again. Another call was coming in. The phone vibrated against the woodwork. She was torn because she didn't want her mother to hear it but she was afraid to pick it up and look at it. When the buzzing finally stopped she slumped onto the floor next to it. Tears pricked at her eyes. She would rather die than check the phone, but she did anyway.

This time it wasn't a message. It was even worse. It was a picture. Even on the tiny screen she could see all the details. It was a picture of her. Sitting on a toilet. Pants down. At school. Somebody must have reached over the stall door with their phone and snapped it off. It was taken from above so only the top of her face and her knees were visible. She knew by the clothes that the picture had been taken earlier that day.

Whoever was behind this was somebody close by. Maybe even somebody she knew. Maybe somebody she called a friend.


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

I just got an email from a middle school librarian who has this book in her library.  That's cool in itself, but then she said the kids are checking it out "regularly" (whatever that means).  That's even cooler.  Unfortunately I doubt if they have one with the cool new purple cover that J.L. Penn designed.


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## Nancy C. Johnson Author (Apr 28, 2010)

Very well written, Dave

And so scarily true these days. Poor kids... 

I'm glad the kids in the library are finding your book.

I read so much of this in the news. It's a big problem.

Nancy


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks Nancy.  I felt like writing this after reading about some of what's going on, especially with the teenager in Missouri who hung herself over a boy who turned out only to exist in cyberspace.  

There are lots of anti-cyberbullying programs starting up.  That will help a lot.  But a lot of confessed cyberbullies say they scoffed at such programs.  It was only when they truly understood how much pain they were causing that they felt any remorse.  They know in their heads but not their hearts that there is a human being on the other end of the connection.  That's why I think stories about it will help.

edit: Another common problem I noticed when reading about cyberbullying incidents is that the victim is very often afraid to tell anybody.  It's as if they think they will get into trouble with parents, principals, etc.  I tried to show how counterproductive that attitude is in the story.  Tell somebody!


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## Nancy C. Johnson Author (Apr 28, 2010)

Yes, kids need to know to tell someone. I suppose they don't want to worry their parents, or are ashamed and don't want them to know, or are afraid to tell anyone else for fear of making things worse. 

Of course, now I have another book on my TBR list.  

Nancy


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

A nice review from the world of Mobile Reads:

"I think this is a great story following a case of cyber-bullying in a
middle school. The story caught my attention from the beginning, I think
the whole ending really clinched the five star rating, as it forces you
to think a little more about the whole issue of cyber bullying. Great
...book!"

This is a link to an article about the real-life case that made me write this book (although eBully is not specifically about this case). Note that the Missouri prosecutors had trouble finding a specific law that the perp violated -- even though it led to a suicide.

At the end of eBully is an informal discussion in a pizza parlor about how existing laws need to be tweaked to keep up with technology.

http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2008/11/prosecution-ple/

*He added that he was "astounded by some of the comments I read, that people think they can do whatever they want on the internet." He said the case was a warning to parents that if they're not watching what their kids are doing online, "you better be."*


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## Nancy C. Johnson Author (Apr 28, 2010)

Congrats on a great review, Dave!

Nancy


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish (Feb 1, 2010)

Gratz man. It is always a good day when you nab a five star review.

David Dalglish


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## Ricky Sides (Sep 16, 2009)

Dave,

I don't know how I've missed the sample of this book that you posted, but I did. After reading the sample I was hooked and one clicked it. 

I think this book has an important message for us all in this electronic age. If it turns out to be as good as the sample and product description would seem to indicate, then it should be read by parents with children who could fall victim to this new form of electronic criminal.

Sincerely,
Ricky


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

We seemed to have missed the traditional Congratulations post. . .so here it is!

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Please add to your existing book thread when you have news about your book rather than start a new one, it helps the members who are trying to follow you. You may have a separate thread for each of your books. We recommend you bookmark your post so that you can find it in the future.  You may respond to all posts, but if there have been no member posts, we ask that you wait a week before "bumping" the thread by posting back-to-back posts of your own. And we ask that Amazon reviews not be repeated here as they are easy to find at your book link. Also, full reviews from other sites should not be posted here, but you may post a short blurb and a link to the full review instead. All this, and more, is included in our Forum Decorum. From time to time our site rules may change; be sure to check Forum Decorum (http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,36.0.html) for the current guidelines and rules. _


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks for the welcome, Ann and Betsy!  I didn't notice this until today.

I'm not sure but I think I'm getting hounded by a cyberbullying expert.  She's grilling me on whether I've 'read the research' and what research I did before writing this.  I'd guess that maybe she doesn't realize it's just a story (not a textbook) but she did ask me to tell her about the plot because she's 'screening' it.  I told her that I read the newspaper, studied up on how the social networking sites work and talked to a few teenagers.  I think it's realistic but there's only one way for her to find out if she agrees. 

I don't want to be rude and tell her I didn't apply for anything that would require screening and that she could read the book and make her own evaluation -- so I just stopped replying to the emails.  Funny the messes we get ourselves into.


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## Bridget S (May 23, 2010)

I'm going to have to read this.  I'm a teacher and our school district has a NO BULLY policy.  

I totally agree that they need to tell someone, and something should be done.  

Dave- is it fiction  If it is fiction, I think you can have it turn out however you want.  The extreme cases are the students that commit suicide from bullying.


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Hi Bridget,

Yes, it's fiction.  There is a springboard incident in the beginning that's based closely on a true, tragic story that unfortunately did end with a suicide, but it's not part of my plot (in which nobody dies).  

...dave


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## 13500 (Apr 22, 2010)

daveconifer said:


> Thanks for the welcome, Ann and Betsy! I didn't notice this until today.
> 
> I'm not sure but I think I'm getting hounded by a cyberbullying expert. She's grilling me on whether I've 'read the research' and what research I did before writing this. I'd guess that maybe she doesn't realize it's just a story (not a textbook) but she did ask me to tell her about the plot because she's 'screening' it. I told her that I read the newspaper, studied up on how the social networking sites work and talked to a few teenagers. I think it's realistic but there's only one way for her to find out if she agrees.
> 
> I don't want to be rude and tell her I didn't apply for anything that would require screening and that she could read the book and make her own evaluation -- so I just stopped replying to the emails. Funny the messes we get ourselves into.


Ironic, actually.

Congratulations on your great review. Your sample was very well done.


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

KarenW.B. said:


> *Ironic*, actually.
> 
> Congratulations on your great review. Your sample was very well done.


I never thought of it that way, but you're right. She's just being passive-aggressive, I guess, but still -- I'M BEING CYBERBULLIED!


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Dave--

You've done the right thing by responding courteously to the initial emails, and then ignoring subsequent ones.

Very ironic!

Betsy


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Nice review on Smashwords -- thanks reader!  

"I was very interested from the first words. It catches the sad reality of what's happening now adays. The author captured the real mood and fear of what it must feel like. I felt at times like it was happening to one of my family members. Definetly a good read!"


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## caseyf6 (Mar 28, 2010)

I just one-clicked it and am looking forward to reading it.  Not only do I have two daughters (one finishing hs and one headed to ms next year) but I work in a program that teaches teens about such things.  Thanks!!


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

caseyf6 said:


> I just one-clicked it and am looking forward to reading it. Not only do I have two daughters (one finishing hs and one headed to ms next year) but I work in a program that teaches teens about such things. Thanks!!


Thanks Casey. I hope you end up liking it. I have a college freshman, a high school sophomore and a 7th grader and much of what I wrote about came from what I saw watching them function in their cyber worlds. Hopefully it's realistic to you.


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## Anne Victory (Jul 29, 2010)

Hey, Dave,
Just finished up eBully. I very much enjoyed it. Reviewed on Amazon (Anne Victory) and GoodReads and posted to my Facebook 

I have to say...


Spoiler



I didn't care for the ending too much. That it was Carly all along and that she had ZERO empathy or remorse even after she saw what it was like to be on the other end of the bullying - ugh. It made her come across as a sociopath and my final thought was "Serves her right."



That said, the book definitely makes you think, and I'm sure it will help parents broach the subject with their kids


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Hi Arkali. Thanks so much for the complimentary words and also for going to the trouble of posting reviews. That's very kind of you.

About that ending -- you're not alone. Several reviewers have said they disliked it, and nobody has ever said "I see what he was trying to do there." If I had to to the ending all over again I would likely go with an easier 'Poor Carly' ending.

I really was trying to make a point though. Many people make a strange distinction between how they act online and how they act in real life. I read about several confessed cyberbullies who said that they never felt like the rules of civil behavior applied online. Another common remark was that they didn't understand in their hearts that on the other end of the connection was a living, breathing person. For that reason, I think, there were never any feelings of guilt or remorse for them. I think you've hit on exactly the right word -- sociopath.


Spoiler



For Carly it went a step further -- she did not associate what happened to her online with what she had done online previously.



But I wasn't able to pull it off. I consider this a learning experience and next time I'll do it better or not at all.

Thanks!


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## Anne Victory (Jul 29, 2010)

daveconifer said:


> Hi Arkali. Thanks so much for the complimentary words and also for going to the trouble of posting reviews. That's very kind of you.
> 
> About that ending -- you're not alone. Several reviewers have said they disliked it, and nobody has ever said "I see what he was trying to do there." If I had to to the ending all over again I would likely go with an easier 'Poor Carly' ending.
> 
> ...


Heh. Well, honestly... it's your book, your ending. You should write for you  BUT -


Spoiler



I don't necessarily think going for a "Poor Carly" ending would have been better - I like the twist of having it be her - I didn't see that coming. I think, though, I would have enjoyed it more (and perhaps it would resonate with the young readers) if, during Carly's confession, she had an attitude of remorse and "I never thought how horrible it was until it happened to me."


 Just my two cents. BUT - don't misunderstand, me, please - I THOROUGHLY enjoyed the book - it was a good read  I'll be checking out your other books


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

I'm going to be completely honest here -- I think you are absolutely right and I wish I'd written it that way.

I wonder if it's okay to change the ending.  Who makes the rules?


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## Anne Victory (Jul 29, 2010)

Awww, thanks   It's easy to be an armchair editor LOL  Seriously, though, regarding changing the ending... hrrrm.  I think I'd ask the guys in the Cafe.


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

I recently blogged about an interesting column by Rick Riordan about the dangerous new cyberworld.

http://daveconifer.blogspot.com/2010/10/insightful-column-about-burgeoning.html

_Yet my peers and I are now part of an experiment far freakier than any of the crazy stuff we got into 30-plus years ago.

We're eager participants in the great pandemic of social networking/digital exhibitionism, which is transforming personal lives into reality shows - available 24/7 to whomever we're texting, tweeting, blogging, YouTubing, or Facebooking.

We produce and consume this content instantly and relentlessly. But unlike our fragile, fallible selves, our reality show is forever; those 1s and 0s into which we convert our experience and distribute it to the universe will never really go away.

No matter how tech-savvy we are as individuals, as a species we have no idea what we're getting into, even less what we might be doing to ourselves. We're all freshmen when it comes to this stuff.
_


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## caseyf6 (Mar 28, 2010)

I finished the book a while back, and then forgot to let you know my thoughts. The ending is the sole reason I didn't recommend it to the 'Expect Respect'/teenage relationship trainers at my office. I otherwise would have said "snap it up, and have these kids read the book"-- I think if you did redo the ending slightly, so that Carly figured out the lesson you were trying to teach, it would work better.

That being said, I didn't see the ending coming either. It had me simultaneously going "ooh, he got me with that! good job!" and "omg she is


Spoiler



batshit


 crazy". 

It is a very quick, very engaging read. I thoroughly enjoyed it because of the timely subject matter, the realistic characters, and the smooth writing style. Thanks for a very enjoyable time!


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Thanks anyway.  I'm glad you liked it some.  I'll most likely modify the ending since it's literally only the last page...


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

I did it.  Readers like RedAdept, Arkali and CaseyF6 were right that what happened on the last page undermined the message of the book and was a dirty trick to play on readers (I blogged about dirty trick vs. plot twist a few days ago so I won't repeat it here.)

Without giving too much away -- the confession is now accompanied by some remorse, which is more in character for Carly based on everything that appeared on the previous hundreds of pages.

I learned something here, thanks to the aforementioned readers and also to the other sharp-tongued emailers who took me to task.  I'm glad you convinced me to stop being defensive and stubborn and instead made my book better.

edit: I also posted the original last page and the new last page on my blog if anybody's interested.


In the words of Shaun T. of Beachbody/Insanity -- Peace out...


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## caseyf6 (Mar 28, 2010)

Dave, I said this earlier but thanks.  It's nice to see that even books sometimes change -- I think characters sometimes surprise us with their actions, but that doesn't mean that authors can't tell them to grow up and be their true selves (instead of the dirty trick).  

Bump so others can see this-- I really did enjoy this book thoroughly and I imagine it would be helpful to others.  Thanks!!


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## ReeseReed (Dec 5, 2009)

Dave, I'm *really* glad to read that you changed the ending.  The whole time I was reading this I was thinking what a great book it would be to add to our school's library...until I got to the ending.  I think you made the right decision!  Is this in print?  Because if so, I may pick up a copy to donate.


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

Terrific news. You may or many not remember, but I gave you a little bit of heck over the ending too.


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

@ Casey 

Thanks again for taking the time to help make this better.

@ Reese

Thanks.  It's in print.  I'll p.m. you because I owe you a book anyway from that awful 'contest' last June...

@Michelle

I actually forgot that you didn't like the ending -- but I remember a lot of other issues you raised.  I learned more about writing from your critique of eBully than any other single thing since I've started writing.  You not only helped me improve this book, you made me a better writer.  Thanks...


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## MichelleR (Feb 21, 2009)

daveconifer said:


> @Michelle
> 
> I actually forgot that you didn't like the ending -- but I remember a lot of other issues you raised. I learned more about writing from your critique of eBully than any other single thing since I've started writing. You not only helped me improve this book, you made me a better writer. Thanks...


That's very nice for you to say and, like the Grinch, my heart grew three sizes this day.  (You're welcome.)


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## CandyTX (Apr 13, 2009)

I'm reading this now, actually, I downloaded it on 10/19 from smashwords, sounds like it's been revised - do I need to re-download it?

So far, I'm about 5% in and it's very timely and interesting.


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

CandyTX said:


> I'm reading this now, actually, I downloaded it on 10/19 from smashwords, sounds like it's been revised - do I need to re-download it?
> 
> So far, I'm about 5% in and it's very timely and interesting.


Hi Candy,

I just looked. The new version went up on the 18th so you got the newest one if you downloaded on on the 19th (unless I have a serious misunderstanding of Smashwords).

Thanks for checking it out...

...dave


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## Anne Victory (Jul 29, 2010)

Just wanted to say that this made a good book even better.  In fact, I need to run over to Amazon and change my review because I dinged you on the ending.


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Arkali said:


> Just wanted to say that this made a good book even better. In fact, I need to run over to Amazon and change my review because I dinged you on the ending.


Gee, Ark, that's sweet of you but it seems like an awful lot of work!

You'll be the Winston Smith of Amazon...


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## CandyTX (Apr 13, 2009)

daveconifer said:


> Hi Candy,
> 
> I just looked. The new version went up on the 18th so you got the newest one if you downloaded on on the 19th (unless I have a serious misunderstanding of Smashwords).
> 
> ...


It was  I didn't want to read the reviews or anything I was finished with the book. Glad you changed it, I didn't have to take away another star - the previous ending would have made me a little tiny bit unhappy (and it really is all about me, ya know) *laughing* Well done!


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

CandyTX said:


> It was  I didn't want to read the reviews or anything I was finished with the book. Glad you changed it, I didn't have to take away another star - the previous ending would have made me a little tiny bit unhappy (and it really is all about me, ya know) *laughing* Well done!


Thank you, Candy.

Would you believe that I awoke to two emails and a Nookboard post from readers who like the old ending better? I wish I could make everybody happy, honest!

http://www.nookboards.com/forum/index.php?topic=4089.msg51178#msg51178


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## gadgetgirl003 (Mar 22, 2009)

daveconifer said:


> Would you believe that I awoke to two emails and a Nookboard post from readers who like the old ending better? I wish I could make everybody happy, honest!
> 
> http://www.nookboards.com/forum/index.php?topic=4089.msg51178#msg51178


That's one of the things that I like about Smashwords...People can read BOTH endings and then decide which works better for them. So in a way Dave, you DID make everyone happy.


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## Anne Victory (Jul 29, 2010)

daveconifer said:


> Gee, Ark, that's sweet of you but it seems like an awful lot of work!
> 
> You'll be the Winston Smith of Amazon...


No work at all  Your review has been revised, so THERE!


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

eBully is up on Spalding's Racket too, along with some other awesome work by independent writers...


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Smashwords review...

I wish I could give this book more stars. This book was a page turner from page 1. I think it should be required reading for middle and high school aged children both. Things are so different now for our children than they were for us. I've allowed both my 17 and 13 year old children to read this story. It's opened up some great dialogue between us. Highly recommend, especially to parents of teenage children.


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## caseyf6 (Mar 28, 2010)

That last review is well-deserved.  I like that you make the point (several times) that people do things online that they wouldn't do in the real world-- it's an important part, and for teenagers especially it can be crucial since they often lack impulse control in the first place.


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## CS (Nov 3, 2008)

Am I the only one who *liked* the original ending? Even middle school kids have to deal with the cold, harsh realities of life. Newsflash: Middle schools are miserable places, and most of the kids that age are little monsters to each other.


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

CS said:


> Am I the only one who *liked* the original ending? Even middle school kids have to deal with the cold, harsh realities of life. Newsflash: Middle schools are miserable places, and most of the kids that age are little monsters to each other.


Hi CS,

You're not the only one who felt that way. So many people didn't like the original ending that I took a close look and I could see their point. But I see yours, too. And now that I changed it I've heard from readers who are unhappy with the new ending. I have no idea whether or not I did the right thing in changing it anymore.

I feel pretty bad about the whole thing so I'm trying to concentrate on the book I just finished and will be releasing in January.

Sorry I pulled the rug out from under you, CS. You were probably the first reader who ever liked eBully!


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Nailing the cyberbully.  Based on a true, tragic story...


"I wish I could give this book more than five stars. This book was a page turner from page 1. I think it should be required reading for middle and high school aged children both. Things are so different now for our children than they were for us. I've allowed both my 17 and 13 year old children to read this story. It's opened up some great dialogue between us. Highly recommend, especially to parents of teenage children." -- Smashwords review


"The author does a wonderful job handling such a difficult subject. He handles it in such a way that I would encourage those with teenagers to talk to your kids about the book and let them read it. There's nothing too graphic in here and it's a great young adult (middle school level) book. The only way to combat situations like this is to talk about them and talk loudly. Kids need to know that it's okay to 'tell' their parents and it's NOT okay to let a bully get away with it." -- Smashwords review.


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## CS (Nov 3, 2008)

daveconifer said:


> Sorry I pulled the rug out from under you, CS. You were probably the first reader who ever liked eBully!


No need to apologize to me, Dave. I still have the version with the original ending on my Kindle.  Amazon doesn't auto-update a book once you buy it, so it'll always be the way I remember it. I'm tempted to check out the new ending on Smashwords (I have that version too) just out of curiosity to see what you did.


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

CS said:


> No need to apologize to me, Dave. I still have the version with the original ending on my Kindle.  Amazon doesn't auto-update a book once you buy it, so it'll always be the way I remember it. I'm tempted to check out the new ending on Smashwords (I have that version too) just out of curiosity to see what you did.


Hey CS, you can read the new ending here:

http://daveconifer.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-ending-for-ebully.html

It's literally just the last page...


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Cyberbullying is real, and it's a lot scarier than the playground bullying that went down I was a kid.

http://www.walb.com/Global/story.asp?S=13846910

*-- Teens Arrested for Facebook Bullying --
"The sole purpose of this page was to terrorize and embarrass a victim," said Lt. Ryan Bell of the Lee County, FL Sheriff's Office.
The arrest report states that one of the suspects told deputies she made the fake pages as a joke, because "nobody liked her."

"It's a crime. This isn't just kids making fun of each other, poking fun at each other," Bell said.*

eBully -- still ninety-nine cents...


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

I just sent a few complimentary hardcopies of eBully to a schoolteacher in Tennessee who has stuff going down in the classroom. Hope it helps...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Hi Dave

That is fine... I just want something to make an impact on these kids. 
Thank you VERY VERY much....

xxxxxxxxxx

school phone xxxxxxxxx

I have read some wonderful reviews... if I can help change the thoughts of at least one student it will make me feel like I have done something good.

Thanks again
xxxxx

On Wed, Jan 26, 2011 at 9:54 AM, Dave Conifer <[email protected]> wrote:

Hi xxxxx,

I can send you a few complimentary copies. Just to make sure, though -- it's based on a real incident but eBully is fiction (young adult).

If you send me an address I'll send a couple...

see ya

...dave

--- On Wed, 1/26/11, > wrote:

From: >xxxxxxxx
Subject: cyberbullying book
To: [email protected]
Date: Wednesday, January 26, 2011, 3:51 PM

I was trying to follow the link to get a free copy of your book.
I am a school teacher and am dealing wtih cyberbullying not only at home my daughter, but also at the high school where I teach.
Do you have anything I can use for my classroom?

Thanks
xxxxxxx


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Recent fan mail from some flounder (hopefully one that doesn't read Kindleboards):

Dear Mr. Conifer,
    My name is XXXXXXX Smith and I just finished reading your book,eBully tonight. It really changed my thinking of internent bullying. I watched this movie on ABC Family and it was called Cyberbully. It had all of the same symptoms that Carly and Jenny had on the chatting website. All I am trying to say is PLEASE write another book following eBullyand what happened at the end. I really enjoyed eBully!! Thank you SO much!!
                    Probably your biggest fan,
                            XXXXXXX


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

This one's free at Amazon for the rest of today (March 27, 2012)...


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