# Advice needed regarding a nerdy boy- UPDATE 2



## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

I happen to be somewhat infatuated with a nerdy boy and am in need of some help. Though articulate and pleasant, I think he's a little shy regarding romantic entanglements and I'm wondering if I should I just ask him out, or do you think he'll do it himself if I send strong enough signals? (We're both in college btw.)

I've never asked a guy out before, so I figured I could turn to those here older and wiser than myself for some advice. Please and thank you!


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## Carol (was Dara) (Feb 19, 2011)

I say you ask him. One thing I've learned, you can't always count on those signals. I spent years sending them to this one guy and he never seemed to notice. Or maybe that was just my answer there. LOL

Good luck!


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

I just don't really know how to ask him, which I guess is the big problem. Too bad that I no longer take any of the languages classes he TAs for- I certainly could have used some tutoring last semester when he was abroad. Now I see him about once a week at a meeting we both attend and occasionally in passing since we live in the same dorm. Bah.


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## Philip Chen (Aug 8, 2010)

Ask him for advice on something that you know he likes (if he is nerdy, maybe some technical question about computers or the internet).  Meet him for coffee or whatever you drink these days to discuss it.  He will be flattered and will hopefully see someone interested in the things that he is also interested in.  Let nature take its course.


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## Ben White (Feb 11, 2011)

I can only speak for myself (as a nerdy boy) (although actually I'd classify myself as more of a geek) (which is probably pedantic enough to put me right back in nerdtown) (but anyway), but I would have been delighted to have been asked out back in my younger unmarried days. If he's shy about romantic entanglement then just keep it light, tea (or coffee I guess I suppose twist my arm etc.) and conversation are two things nerdy/geeky boys usually enjoy. Having said tea and conversation in a public place such as a cafe might be nice, less intense, less pressure. Here's an example script you might like to use as a basis for your own invitation:

"Hello, [insert name here], I was wondering, do you like tea? If not tea, then coffee? Or if not coffee then at the least you require some form of liquid sustenance to ensure your continued survival; would you like to join me for a glass of water sometime? Obviously we wouldn't be sharing the same glass of water, that'd just be weird. We'd have our own glasses. But we'd be 'sharing' them in the sense that we'd both be drinking water at the same place at the same time. Not EXACTLY the same place, of course, that would violate several basic laws of physics, but we'd be near enough to each other to communicate comfortably and without vocal straining. Do you like physics?"

I think nine out of ten nerdy boys would agree that this is basically perfect. I've practically asked him out for you!

In any case, good luck


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

Ben White said:


> "Hello, [insert name here], I was wondering, do you like tea? If not tea, then coffee? Or if not coffee then at the least you require some form of liquid sustenance to ensure your continued survival; would you like to join me for a glass of water sometime? Obviously we wouldn't be sharing the same glass of water, that'd just be weird. We'd have our own glasses. But we'd be 'sharing' them in the sense that we'd both be drinking water at the same place at the same time. Not EXACTLY the same place, of course, that would violate several basic laws of physics, but we'd be near enough to each other to communicate comfortably and without vocal straining. Do you like physics?"


Hmm, that's not bad, but I feel it would be better suited to someone I didn't really know. What would I say given that this guy is a friend of mine, but not a close friend? Casual friendly acquaintances, would be a fairly apt description.

Also, I should probably clarify that I am very much a nerd/geek/whatever myself. Asking for computer help would be a bold-faced lie coming from me.


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## Philip Chen (Aug 8, 2010)

If he is a casual acquaintance, write down on a piece of paper what you think his likes and dislikes are.  Then come up with a conveniently shared interest and say you would like to talk with him about.  Unless you are an Alpha Geek, I doubt you know everything about computers of the net.  Say you would like to discuss some aspect of upcoming technology with him.  Even if he is not an Alpha himself, I think he will be flattered.  I was a nerd/geek/background when I was young (and probably still am), I would have appreciated such an entree to a conversation.


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## TheRiddler (Nov 11, 2010)

Why not keep it simple?

"Hey there, do you fancy getting a quick bite to eat before / after the meeting?" (depending when the meeting is of course)


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Definitely ask him out in some way.  It doesn't matter what you invite him to do.  

I wouldn't describe myself as nerdy, but I was introverted and not so confident.  I usually needed some kind of sign that somebody was digging me before that part of me would kick in.

Otherwise, you'll always be wondering.

Subtle signals are the kind of thing that work in movies only.

Whatever you do, keep us posted!


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## Barbiedull (Jul 13, 2010)

ScaryMerry said:


> I just don't really know how to ask him, which I guess is the big problem. Too bad that I no longer take any of the languages classes he TAs for- I certainly could have used some tutoring last semester when he was abroad. Now I see him about once a week at a meeting we both attend and occasionally in passing since we live in the same dorm. Bah.


 Maybe you could tie in "I don't see you around much lately, would you like to get something to eat/drink and hang out some time?" Friends first is a good approach.


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

Send me his email address, I'll handle it for ya!


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

TheRiddler said:


> Why not keep it simple?
> 
> "Hey there, do you fancy getting a quick bite to eat before / after the meeting?" (depending when the meeting is of course)


I like this. Don't make it too complicated or put too much stress on it. It's just a simple bite to eat and if things go well, you can proceed from there! Simple is good.


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## Scheherazade (Apr 11, 2009)

I'd try to find something you're both interested in and find a local event that has something to do with it.  Something like an anime convention can be fun, and it's also kind of a good way to see what kind of guy he is in "social" situations.  You can see what sort of fandom he is into by what he browses, see how he reacts to different people or different cosplays, or even just get an idea of how much you enjoy each other's company without it being too intimate of a setting.  If all goes well you can do dinner afterwards to have some more one on one time.

It's an easy thing to invite someone too as well.  If you didn't have anyone to go with then say that, but don't make it sound like you don't want to go alone or that you figure "Hey, you're a nerd, bet you'd like to do this."  Just say it'd be more fun to go with someone and you have nobody to go with that weekend.  If you are going with friends then invite him to go along, though this could be awkward for all parties involved.  But cons are few and far between, so you don't want to not go with friends if you normally do.

Be sure to exchange AIM SNs or emails or whatever other online messaging program you use.  Sometimes for people who are shy like that it's far easier to communicate in text at first.  You may find that a better way to get him to open up about subjects it might be harder to really talk about face to face.  It shouldn't be your only means of communication, but it can be a good way to keep in touch and have a chance to talk without it becoming some huge thing with a phone call.

It seems like you may be a bit hesitant yourself.  You certainly don't seem shy, but that doesn't make things like this easy by any stretch.  It may seem like everyone can just go out and party and get drunk and hook up with whoever in a single night, but that doesn't mean everyone has to be like that and I like to think most aren't.  It's hard not to think that's the case at that age, though, which I can say as an older student in college who has had to work with young people far too much.  So take it slow, but show your interest.  You don't have to throw yourself at him or be the perfect girlfriend by sacrificing your values.  Just be yourself and allow it to develop naturally, but you do need to at least get the ball rolling.


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## Glenn Bullion (Sep 28, 2010)

Walk up to him and kiss him in front of everyone.  Seems to work in the movies.



Seriously, take the simple advice above, ask if he wants something to eat after the meeting.


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## J Dean (Feb 9, 2009)

Nerds will rule the world!!!!!!!


Seriously-don't let the opportunity pass you by.  If you want something a little more subtle to start with, buy him a pop or candy bar and give it to him just for the heck of it.


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## NapCat (retired) (Jan 17, 2011)

Send him the following link:



http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,55196.0.html

He'll get the message !! Ha !


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## Philip Chen (Aug 8, 2010)

You can ask him to help you fix your website link: The FemmeNerd.  It's broken.


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## TheRiddler (Nov 11, 2010)

Remember - the geeks will inherit the world


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## tsilver (Aug 9, 2010)

Maybe you should try the old fashioned trick of dropping your handkerchief near him.  Of course he might be absorbed in mathematical equations and not see it.


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## Martel47 (Jun 14, 2010)

Do what my wife did...find an excuse to set him up on a blind date and then show up yourself!

Or just ask the guy, what's the worst he could do, say no?  IF he does, then you can move on, but he'll probably give you a chance, anyway.


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

Philip Chen said:


> You can ask him to help you fix your website link: The FemmeNerd. It's broken.


Ah, is it really! Grr... *fixed*

Thanks everyone for your wonderful advice! I'll be sure to let you know how it works out.


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## MariaESchneider (Aug 1, 2009)

ScaryMerry said:


> I just don't really know how to ask him, which I guess is the big problem. Too bad that I no longer take any of the languages classes he TAs for- I certainly could have used some tutoring last semester when he was abroad. Now I see him about once a week at a meeting we both attend and occasionally in passing since we live in the same dorm. Bah.


Try to find out a hobby of his and do that instead of an obvious date. Ask if he plays racketball or computer games or something you also enjoy. You can usually network into a game these days. There's got to be some hobby he has that you can use to get to know him better. You could be more obvious and go old-fashioned and give him home baked chocolate chip cookies. If that doesn't get his attention, there may not BE a way to get his attention!


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

MariaESchneider said:


> Try to find out a hobby of his and do that instead of an obvious date. Ask if he plays racketball or computer games or something you also enjoy. You can usually network into a game these days. There's got to be some hobby he has that you can use to get to know him better. You could be more obvious and go old-fashioned and give him home baked chocolate chip cookies. If that doesn't get his attention, there may not BE a way to get his attention!


OMG- brilliant. I could _totally_ work the baked goods angle. I see can see it now:

*knocks on door*
Me: Hi there! I had a meeting today that was canceled, but I made a bunch of brownies to bring to it. I thought I'd see if any of my friends in the building wanted some. Hey, are you doing anything? I'm bored- talk to me.

Or something like that.


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## KatieKlein (Dec 19, 2010)

Just wanted to chime in and say that nerds are the _best_. Just don't let the opportunity pass you by. You'll always wonder "what if."


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

As someone who was (is?) a somewhat nerdy boy and not terribly self-confident about frightening things like asking a girl out for the first time, I can say that I personally would not have had a problem with someone asking me out. The only caveats would have been that (a) I had some reasonable amount of reciprocal interest to begin with, and (b) the one asking did not come on incredibly strong. And the more interest I had to begin with, the less important (b) would have been. 

Frankly, if he has any interest in you to speak of, anything short of "Hey, wanna get married?" will probably work.


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## Sarah Woodbury (Jan 30, 2011)

As the mother of a geek and married to another, definitely ask him out, casual-like.  He's going to say yes.


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## CS (Nov 3, 2008)

I *wish* girls would be more forward and ask guys out. Would make life so much simpler! So, my only advice: go ahead and ask him.


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

As the mother of a nerdy/geeky son, I can tell you he may be clueless about ANY girl liking him. My older son was convinced he was doomed to the life of a single lonely nerd. I however, knew of 3 different girls who were friends of his and who liked him, AND were sending him signals that more than 50% of us would have seen from MARS. Finally in front of one of them I looked at him and said flat out, "ASK HER OUT SHE LIKES YOU." He got this dumbfounded look on his face, turned and asked her to walk around the block with him. When they came back from their walk, they had set up a date for that weekend.


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

BTackitt said:


> As the mother of a nerdy/geeky son, I can tell you he may be clueless about ANY girl liking him. My older son was convinced he was doomed to the life of a single lonely nerd. I however, knew of 3 different girls who were friends of his and who liked him, AND were sending him signals that more than 50% of us would have seen from MARS. Finally in front of one of them I looked at him and said flat out, "ASK HER OUT SHE LIKES YOU." He got this dumbfounded look on his face, turned and asked her to walk around the block with him. When they came back from their walk, they had set up a date for that weekend.


That is _hilarious_. If only I had an appropriate third-party to do me that favor...


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## TheRiddler (Nov 11, 2010)

On behalf of men everywhere:

If there's something you girls want, hints don't work.

Little hints don't work
Big hints don't work
Huge hints with flashing neon signs don't work

Sorry girls, we are just that dumb and oblivious to most things.

If you want us to do something, just ask us - it'll save so much pain and anger for all involved.


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## Vegas_Asian (Nov 2, 2008)

ScaryMerry said:


> I happen to be somewhat infatuated with a nerdy boy and am in need of some help. Though articulate and pleasant, I think he's a little shy regarding romantic entanglements and I'm wondering if I should I just ask him out, or do you think he'll do it himself if I send strong enough signals? (We're both in college btw.)
> 
> I've never asked a guy out before, so I figured I could turn to those here older and wiser than myself for some advice. Please and thank you!


Go for it ask him out! I like going with the tshirt ploy. If he is wearing tshirt with a band, movie, or tv show,) don't know about u but my nerdy friends love their t's) ask him about it. Lead on like "we should get together an talk _____, sometime." works either you are not familiar with the subject (If he loves it he may introduce u to it thus meeting again) or if you r familiar....talk story about it (sorry that 'talk story' is from my Hawaiian side)


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## JD Rhoades (Feb 18, 2011)

As a former nerdy guy myself (before I matured into the confident, self-assured paragon of manhood that I am now), I heartily endorse the "keep it simple, keep it light" strategy, especially combined with food or drink. 

"Hey, I'm starving, let's go get a frozen yogurt (or whatever)." 

Then if that feels right, move up to asking him to go along with you on something you tell him you've already planned:  "Hey, I got tickets to see The Whatevers at That Club. Wanna go?" This is especially low key if there are other people going: "Hey, a bunch of us are going to see That Movie Friday night. Why don't you come with?" Etc.


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

JD Rhoades said:


> As a former nerdy guy myself (before I matured into the confident, self-assured paragon of manhood that I am now), I heartily endorse the "keep it simple, keep it light" strategy, especially combined with food or drink.
> 
> "Hey, I'm starving, let's go get a frozen yogurt (or whatever)."
> 
> Then if that feels right, move up to asking him to go along with you on something you tell him you've already planned: "Hey, I got tickets to see The Whatevers at That Club. Wanna go?" This is especially low key if there are other people going: "Hey, a bunch of us are going to see That Movie Friday night. Why don't you come with?" Etc.


I'm considering inviting him to see a movie that we're both interested in watching. It would be pretty low-pressure, as I work at our local theater and consequently get to see movies (with one guest) for free, as well as get free popcorn.


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## Barbiedull (Jul 13, 2010)

ScaryMerry said:


> I'm considering inviting him to see a movie that we're both interested in watching. It would be pretty low-pressure, as I work at our local theater and consequently get to see movies (with one guest) for free, as well as get free popcorn.


 That's perfect!


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

Make sure to update us on how it goes!


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## caseyf6 (Mar 28, 2010)

I love your blog, btw, and I'm looking forward to hearing what the result of your "ask" is- the movie idea sounds PERFECT.  No real pressure since you get the tickets for free, but it gives you a chance to talk a bit.


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## 25803 (Oct 24, 2010)

ScaryMerry said:


> I'm considering inviting him to see a movie that we're both interested in watching. It would be pretty low-pressure, as I work at our local theater and consequently get to see movies (with one guest) for free, as well as get free popcorn.


That sounds like a great idea! I asked my nerdy husband out on our first date, btw. He was delighted not to have to do the asking and we've been married for decades. We have a nerdy son in college and I think he dreams of a woman who will ask him out first. I say go for it!


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## JD Rhoades (Feb 18, 2011)

ScaryMerry said:


> I'm considering inviting him to see a movie that we're both interested in watching. It would be pretty low-pressure, as I work at our local theater and consequently get to see movies (with one guest) for free, as well as get free popcorn.


There you go, then. Even in my nerdiest days, I'd jump at that. Free movies and popcorn with a cute girl? Oh, HELL yeah. He doesn't go for that, he's out of his mind.

The underlying principle is to invite him along to something cool you say you were planning to do anyway. This (1) makes him feel special, and (2) takes away the awkwardness if having to be the one in the driver's seat so to speak. It also takes away some of the pressure of being a "date" date.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Just ask the guy out. I would've loved that back when I was that age.


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## Cristian YoungMiller (Mar 3, 2011)

ScaryMerry said:


> I'm considering inviting him to see a movie that we're both interested in watching. It would be pretty low-pressure, as I work at our local theater and consequently get to see movies (with one guest) for free, as well as get free popcorn.


That is a great idea. Here is what worked on me recently. There was this girl that I met at a part that I had no intention on asking out. But she complimented me about 3 times (everyone is susceptible to compliments). Then she got me to talk about what I am passionate about (that would be racquetball). She then responded to my passion with equal passion. I was completely hooked. I had to go out with her afterwards.

But I think, because he's shy, you might have to suggest doing something that shares that passion. But after that type of buttering up, you shouldn't have a problem getting him to agree to go. Lord knows it worked on me.


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

Oh, this is too perfect. The meeting that we both go to on Fridays is a language table to practice speaking Japanese- us older students basically help out the newer students for extra credit and whatnot. Tomorrow's topic is music and movies. I'll take that as a sign. We'll see how tomorrow goes.


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

caseyf6 said:


> I love your blog, btw, and I'm looking forward to hearing what the result of your "ask" is- the movie idea sounds PERFECT. No real pressure since you get the tickets for free, but it gives you a chance to talk a bit.


Thanks! College is kind of getting in the way of posting, but I should have something new up next week.


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## JD Rhoades (Feb 18, 2011)

ScaryMerry said:


> Oh, this is too perfect. The meeting that we both go to on Fridays is a language table to practice speaking Japanese- us older students basically help out the newer students for extra credit and whatnot. Tomorrow's topic is music and movies. I'll take that as a sign. We'll see how tomorrow goes.


It's fate.


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

Well that was interesting. So I went to my meeting and we talked and then the group started talking about movies (as was the discussion topic), and when I brought up being able to see movies for free, he right off that bat jokingly said that he should go see a movie with me. And then one of the other students was all "Ooh, like a date?" And we all laughed.

And then we walked back to the dorm together and talked about random stuff, and I said that we really should go see a movie sometime, and he was like yeah, but it all remained vague and I was too chicken to be more specific.

Fast-forward to now- I just sent him a facebook message that said:


> So I remembered what it was that I was meaning to see. The King's Speech, Sunday night- you in? I feel like I'm the only person on Earth that hasn't seen it yet, and I refuse to be lame and go by myself. XD


Hopefully that doesn't sound too stupid. *sigh* I'll let y'all know what he says.


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## busy_91 (Feb 22, 2011)

That is perfect.  The ball is in his court now. 
You would think it gets easier with age. Nope. I'm 43 and going through the same exact thing. *sigh*
Men!!


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

I really don't have much to add except that I just finished reading everything before my post and it's adorable. Good luck with the movie! I'm totally keeping my fingers crossed for you!


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

well? Has he answered?


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

Nope.


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## Tam (Jan 7, 2010)

I just read this whole topic and I'm rooting for you! At least it isn't till tomorrow night so there is still time. Maybe he's one of those who doesn't check his facebook more than once a day or so...

I'm also married to a nerdy boy who has been af antastic husband for 27 years, and the mother of a 20 year old nerdy college boy who hasn't had a real girlfriend or even many real dates yet. He's serious about his studies and has tons of friends, many of which are girls. And I would bet that some of those girls would love to go out with him but he's too clueless to see it. Hopefully someone like you will take the initiative!


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## mom133d (aka Liz) (Nov 25, 2008)

I'm the one who proposed to my nerdy husband. 

Don't get discouraged if he doesn't answer through Facebook. Do you have another way to contact him? I have some RL friends who go days without checking Facebook, he might be like that too. Wait until Sunday afternoonish and then call if you can. You can tell the truth - You sent him a message via Facebook about seeing The King's Speech tonight and hadn't heard from him. If he's busy, you can take the opportunity to talk about a different day and/or movie if he seems open to the idea.


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## StaceyHH (Sep 13, 2010)

Yeah. I asked my nerdy husband out on our first date. He had only ever asked a girl out once, and she stood him up. (This was like 3 days before I asked him out, I didn't know. Heh.)


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

Tam said:


> I just read this whole topic and I'm rooting for you! At least it isn't till tomorrow night so there is still time. Maybe he's one of those who doesn't check his facebook more than once a day or so...


Yeah, he doesn't go in facebook a lot, but it was my only method of contact that wouldn't seem weird. If anything, I can go bang on his door downstairs tomorrow afternoon to confirm his answer. Maybe. I dunno (I'm such a coward... ).


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## caseyf6 (Mar 28, 2010)

Waiting for the new update.  I hope he didn't get freaked out by the "ooh, like a date" garbage.


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

caseyf6 said:


> Waiting for the new update. I hope he didn't get freaked out by the "ooh, like a date" garbage.


Actually, he kind of seemed embarrassed when the other student did that, so who knows...


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Hoping for a good outcome to this!! I think casually walking by his room and asking is fine, especially if it's likely that he hasn't seen your message.

Try to pay _some_ attention to the movie, too.


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## Chris Northern (Jan 20, 2011)

TheRiddler said:


> On behalf of men everywhere:
> 
> If there's something you girls want, hints don't work.
> 
> ...


This is nothing short of the absolute truth.

And keep it simple so we understand. "You me movies later coffee now." Grab hand, start walking.


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## Philip Chen (Aug 8, 2010)

Post his Facebook address and we will take care of it for you (Nothing like tens of thousands of anonymous people asking him not to be a jerk nerd).


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

Well that was interesting.

So I never heard back from him- the doofus probably never checked his facebook- but now I'm chatting with one of my other guy friends on facebook and we just made plans to see a movie we're both dying to see. And he was all "It's a date!" (as in, that's exactly what he said). And we're having lunch tomorrow. Well then. 

This is most likely totally as friends, but his language makes me think of how hilariously ironic this all is.


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## NogDog (May 1, 2009)

Y'know, taken with the right attitude (which you seem to have), there could be material here for a great romantic comedy -- maybe with just a little hyperbole added to the mix. So keep good notes.


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

NogDog said:


> Y'know, taken with the right attitude (which you seem to have), there could be material here for a great romantic comedy -- maybe with just a little hyperbole added to the mix. So keep good notes.


You don't know the half of it- I think I mentioned that the first guy was my TA, and this other guy I happen to be the student mentor of for the scholarship program we're both it. So yeah, if we did end up dating, it would be program incest. Terrible, I know. Also, I am about 60% sure he's gay. So yeah. All the makings of a fine romcom.


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## JD Rhoades (Feb 18, 2011)

ScaryMerry said:


> Well that was interesting.
> 
> So I never heard back from him- the doofus probably never checked his facebook- but now I'm chatting with one of my other guy friends on facebook and we just made plans to see a movie we're both dying to see. And he was all "It's a date!" (as in, that's exactly what he said). And we're having lunch tomorrow. Well then.
> 
> This is most likely totally as friends, but his language makes me think of how hilariously ironic this all is.


It's like the man says: life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.


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## Barbiedull (Jul 13, 2010)

Message #2 to Nerdy boy "I didn't hear back from you in time, so I went with someone else this week. If you'd like to get together for a different movie, let me know." This makes it sound like you _will_ make alternate plans if he doesn't speak up, but you haven't totally given up on him.


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## NapCat (retired) (Jan 17, 2011)

ENOUGH! Scary !

You are breaking the hearts of all we Kindle-Nerds !!


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## TheRiddler (Nov 11, 2010)

Barbiedull said:


> Message #2 to Nerdy boy "I didn't hear back from you in time, so I went with someone else this week. If you'd like to get together for a different movie, let me know." This makes it sound like you _will_ make alternate plans if he doesn't speak up, but you haven't totally given up on him.


I like this plan


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## Guest (Mar 7, 2011)

The answer is in his smile... and in his eyes...


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## caseyf6 (Mar 28, 2010)

I hope your "it's a date!" ends up being fun.  Whether he's gay, straight, or just fun to be with-- good times out and about are never wasted.


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

caseyf6 said:


> I hope your "it's a date!" ends up being fun. Whether he's gay, straight, or just fun to be with-- good times out and about are never wasted.


He is a good friend of mine, so it should be fun. I also learned at lunch today that he considers himself to be mostly straight. Of course. Those crazy bi guys always throw off my gaydar. And he's pretty nerdy as well XD. And I may very well be getting drunk with him on Wednesday because it's his birthday. *facepalm*


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## JD Rhoades (Feb 18, 2011)

Barbiedull said:


> Message #2 to Nerdy boy "I didn't hear back from you in time, so I went with someone else this week. If you'd like to get together for a different movie, let me know." This makes it sound like you _will_ make alternate plans if he doesn't speak up, but you haven't totally given up on him.


Oooh! I like the way your mind works.


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## ◄ Jess ► (Apr 21, 2010)

ScaryMerry said:


> He is a good friend of mine, so it should be fun. I also learned at lunch today that he considers himself to be mostly straight. Of course. Those crazy bi guys always throw off my gaydar. And he's pretty nerdy as well XD. And I may very well be getting drunk with him on Wednesday because it's his birthday. *facepalm*


Oooooh, sounds like a fun time will be had.


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## Philip Chen (Aug 8, 2010)

So what happens if you go to the movie with your student mentor ("gay" guy) and the Nerdy guy shows up alone (not having seen your Facebook post) and sees you with your "gay" friend.  Will there be a cordial meeting or will the Nerdy guy feel upset, because he had been secretly hoping for a sign from you that you really wanted to go to the movie with him.  What happens when the supposedly "gay" guy turns out not to be gay, but merely shy and gets vibes from the Nerdy guy that there is some frisson between you and Nerdy guy, but secretly harbors that same frisson for you.  What then?  What if Sally shows up (I know there hasn't been any mention of Sally yet, but there is always a Sally) and secretly feels frisson between her and "gay" guy, an unrequited emotion, because Sally is Goth. This thing is getting very, verrry complicated.  

I think I'll go back to writing thrillers, it's much easier to blow someone's head off with a AK-47.


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## SailorMerry (Dec 18, 2010)

Philip Chen said:


> So what happens if you go to the movie with your student mentor ("gay" guy) and the Nerdy guy shows up alone (not having seen your Facebook post) and sees you with your "gay" friend. Will there be a cordial meeting or will the Nerdy guy feel upset, because he had been secretly hoping for a sign from you that you really wanted to go to the movie with him. What happens when the supposedly "gay" guy turns out not to be gay, but merely shy and gets vibes from the Nerdy guy that there is some frisson between you and Nerdy guy, but secretly harbors that same frisson for you. What then? What if Sally shows up (I know there hasn't been any mention of Sally yet, but there is always a Sally) and secretly feels frisson between her and "gay" guy, an unrequited emotion, because Sally is Goth. This thing is getting very, verrry complicated.
> 
> I think I'll go back to writing thrillers, it's much easier to blow someone's head off with a AK-47.


Woah. That's too much. For me, they're both friends that I'm attracted to, and if one puts the moves on me and the other misses out, so be it. Any issues they have with that are their own problems, as I have done nothing other than offer to go to the movies with one of them in response to an earlier conversation we had about doing so. Bah.

(Also, why are college guys so stupid? Seriously, if I went into further detail, you would be astounded as to why I like either of them.)


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## Neo (Mar 30, 2009)

ScaryMerry said:


> Also, why are college guys so stupid?


Sadly, it doesn't stop with college (like it didn't stop with high school)  

But I'm totally sending you good vibes !


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## TheRiddler (Nov 11, 2010)

ScaryMerry said:


> (Also, why are college guys so stupid? Seriously, if I went into further detail, you would be astounded as to why I like either of them.)


Hey! No fair!

Us adult guys are just as stupid!

Actually I'm convinced half the issue is that men never feel (mentally) older then about 18, hence we are always high school guys at heart....


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## MariaESchneider (Aug 1, 2009)

I'm fairly certain we need a scene with brownies in here somewhere.  It could solve all the problems and questions...assuming EITHER guy is around to SEE the brownies...

Nerdy guy one is just playing hard to get.


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