# Got Ecothriller? - Without A Spark by George Berger



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Okay, here's the deal:

See, I've got a new book - here on Amazon.com, or here on Amazon.co.uk - that just came out this week. It's an eco-thriller, more or less. A book about boring stuff like hopes, and dreams, and secrets. A book about trite abstract concepts that nobody in the real world can relate to, like life, and love, and lies.

A book with a major character who never speaks a word. A book whose protagonist has a strange and amusing sexual dysfunction. A book with decidedly unwholesome things like underage drinking, hot sex, arson, and homemade explosives. A book with an extremely simple and linear plot that's entirely obvious halfway through the first chapter.

It's really not very good at all, if I do say so myself. Extremely boring. Nothing much happens, other than the sex and terrorism and stuff, and nobody really wants to read about that, I'm sure.

It's also absurdly expensive. Like, what the hell was I thinking? You'd have to be nuts to spend $2.88 on a full-length novel. (Or ten whole dollars on a paperback copy, the most hateful gift you could possibly inflict on someone who likes to read.)

In the past, I've subtly hinted that it'd be really awesome if you'd buy my books. I've asked nicely. I've begged. I've cajoled. I've tried to make you laugh. I've begged some more. I've pleaded. I've whined desperately. I may have even threatened, once or twice.

That's all hard work, and it hasn't been very productive, either.

So, this time around, I'm trying something a little bit different.

Whatever you do, please, for the love of cured sausages, whatever you do, I'm absolutely serious, do not consider reading Without A Spark. Don't visit the book's website. Don't click here if you're a Kindle owner in the UK.

It's a very boring book that isn't very good at all, and you wouldn't like it one bit.

Also, this post - which I absolutely don't want you to read one word of, or bookmark, or share with your friends - is _not_ in any way whatsoever a cynical attempt at reverse psychology _at all_.

Honest.

I mean, just because _I write fiction_, do you really think I'd lie to you?

P.S. I will be extremely cross if you follow me on Twitter against my wishes. Don't. Just... don't.

Thank you very much. For nothing, of course.


----------



## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Welcome to KindleBoards and congratulations on your book! 

Please note that KindleBoards is a Readers and Kindle Fan forum. Authors are always welcome to post anywhere but, as you browse the 'boards, please keep in mind that self-promotion, of any sort, is ONLY allowed here in the Book Bazaar.

A brief recap of our rules follows: (Note that this doesn't mean you've done anything wrong; we just want you to have a ready reference, so post this note in every thread.  )

--*Please bookmark this thread (using your browser's bookmark/favorite function) so you can update it and add to it when there is more information, as we ask that authors have only one thread per book.* You may start a separate thread for each book (or you may have one thread per series of books, or one thread for all of your books, it's your choice).

--We invite you to use your book cover as your avatar and have links to your book and website in your signature. Instructions are posted here

--While you may respond to member posts to your thread at any time, you may only bump your thread (back-to-back posts by you) once every seven days. Once you've responded to a member, that resets the clock to zero and you must wait seven days to post, unless another member posts before then.

--We ask that Amazon reviews not be repeated here as they are easy to find at your book link. Also, full reviews from other sites should not be posted here, but you may post a short blurb and a link to the full review instead.

--Although self-promotion is limited to the Book Bazaar, our most successful authors have found the best way to promote their books is to be as active throughout KindleBoards as time allows. This is your target audience--book lovers with Kindles! Please note that putting link information in the body of your posts constitutes self promotion; please leave your links for your profile signature that will automatically appear on each post. For information on more ways to promote here on KindleBoards, be sure to check out this thread:
Authors: KindleBoards Tips & FAQ.

All this, and more, is included in our  Forum Decorum. Be sure to check it from time to time for the current guidelines and rules.

Thanks for being part of KindleBoards! Feel free to send us a PM if you have any questions.

Betsy & Ann
Book Bazaar Moderators


----------



## Steverino (Jan 5, 2011)

"It's a very boring book that isn't very good at all, and you wouldn't like it one bit."

Nice try.  

I did everything you told me not to.  You may be on to something.


----------



## JBarry22 (Dec 12, 2011)

I see what you did there... you... you... you're a funny guy, you.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Shamelessly bumped, so that more of you can, um, wantonly disobey my wishes.

Also, the first reviews are in, and I expressly forbid you to click that link and see how bad they are. No, I mean it. And yes, I mean _you_.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Okay, never let it be said I'm unreasonable. Go ahead, click on the reviews in the post just above. Just this once. Read them, even. That's what they're there for, right? See for yourself how they, improbably, seem to really like Without A Spark.

It's okay. I don't mind. Honest. Go, click, read. I'll still be here when you get back...

Just, look, please, don't let the positive reviews sucker you into actually _buying and reading it_, okay? You're not that easily fooled. Right? Right.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Eep, a third positive review...



> This book reminds me of early Neal Stephenson, specifically Zodiac and Cobweb. It's creative, perhaps a bit gonzo, and the author clearly knows what he's talking about. It isn't one of those books where the author did half an hour of wikipedia reading and then made stuff up.


Please, I beg of you, dear readers - do *not* let these suspiciously positive reviews influence you or your reading habits.

_Continue to ignore my book, continue to ignore my book, continue to ignore my book..._ ​


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Keep up the good works, readers. You're doing me proud. 

_(A reminder: Without A Spark is a very lackluster thriller. The fact that several people have liked it is in no way a reflection on its dubious quality.)_


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Hey, look, another inexplicably happy review on Amazon:



> Really enjoyed this one... It was well written with a unique and enjoyable plot.


Don't believe the lies, folks. You clearly have much more refined tastes than the folks who've already read Without A Spark...

...right?


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

More suspiciously positive review:



> ...some funny, clever moments...draped in front of a good plot, clear writing, and unique characters that I haven't seen before...
> 
> The plot unfolds nicely, Berger does a good job of avoiding info dumps and gives us what we need know at the right time...
> 
> If you are biased against self-published authors, here are a couple of points to assuage your angst: the book was formatted correctly and I didn't find any typos...


Don't worry - they're just an amateur sockpuppetreviewer, so their thoughtful insights won't influence anyone into, gasp, buying Without A Spark. (Also easily ignorable here for those in the UK.)

Oh, and in case I haven't mentioned this recently, there _is_ a horrible and grotesque paperback edition available, which would make a great present for your boss, mother-in-law, or other unloved one. It's overpriced at $9.95 USD, but, well, that's life, isn't it?


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

A fifth _or maybe even sixth_ reader (it's hard to correlate Amazon reviewers with bloggers' nicknames, sometimes. Also, I'm an English major, so math and I are kinda, eh, you know...) seems to have enjoyed Without A Spark. I find this highly suspicious, but maybe they know something I don't:



> The author displays a masterful use of humor, suspense, action, and plot twists to deliver this incredibly wonderful story...


A Goddess of Literature reviews Without A Spark.

Yes, it's still less than three dollars. Just think of all the much more rewarding things you can spend that money on, and then, please, do the right thing and don't buy my book.

Thanks!


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Rejoice, non-Kindle e-reader owners. Without A Spark is now available in pretty much every popular ebook format at Smashwords. The same gripping thriller that paperback readers have enjoyed since October, and Kindle users have enjoyed since December, can now be yours on the iPad or Nook or Sony or Kobo e-reader.

Progress is a wonderful thing, isn't it?


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Okay, look: This new review is so awesome I can only think it must have been written by a sock-puppet.



> Let's just say myself and the book got along famously. For one thing I laughed, out loud, a bunch. This laughing thing is an excellent sign of a well crafted story, and not just stupid raunchy humor. No, some of this stuff is what I call intelligent humor...
> 
> Maura is an awesome character, and writing a deaf romantic interest is unique to books I've read. Berger does a fabulous job of giving Maura a unique personality, even though she never utters a word...


I mean, dang, that review makes _me_ want to read the book, and I wrote the silly thing.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

It's now available at Barnes and Noble for Nook users, and at Apple for, well, Apple users. Better late than never.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Just because it's the Kindle Boards Book of the Day today, doesn't mean you should think about buying it, or anything. After all, it's not like Harvey vets these things for quality, right?

Thanks.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

_Next_ week, Without A Spark turns one year old.

This week, however, isn't an interesting anniversary of any sort at all, so keep on not buying this novel in record numbers, folks. Thanks.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Well, as of last Friday, Without A Spark is one year old. It's hard to believe, really. A year! Twelve months! Three-hundred sixty-five days on which you _could_ have bought a copy, but didn't. So hard to believe! (Except the not buying a copy part, sadly.)

Not that you care, of course.  Not that you _should_ care, really.

I now return you to your regularly-scheduled flood of well-written books...


----------



## gina1230 (Nov 29, 2009)

Your posts are so entertaining I one-clicked.  I don't even know what your book is about.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

gina1230 said:


> I don't even know what your book is about.


Hah! Me either!

Class, what did I say not to do? Buy Without A Spark. And what did this well-meaning person go and do? Buy Without A Spark.

Oh well. You tried, anyway. Thank you. 

_--George, and there's no way to blame this on peer pressure, either..._


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Looking for a distraction from the epic high-stakes power-struggle playing out across the United States tomorrow? Want something to help escape the high-stakes peril of these tumultuous times? Wishing to avoid the violence and negativity of a few million more attack ads on TV and the radio? Trying to forget how computers are going to steal your vote?

Well, look no further! I've got just the book for you! _Without A Spark_ is a fun and friendly tale of...

...oh, yeah. Violence and terrorism and sex and computers and food and stuff. Oops.

Well... everyone likes food, right? 

Without A Spark, by George Berger: Available to be completely ignored pretty much everywhere quality e-books are sold, and rightly so.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

It's a new year, which means another great opportunity for you to _not_ buy my novel.


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

For this week, _Without A Spark_ is *half off* at Smashwords with coupon code REW50, as part of their read-an-ebook-week promotion.

Please, whatever you do, don't buy my book at a deep discount, okay? Thanks!


----------



## George Berger (Aug 7, 2011)

Bumped, because _Without A Spark_ is featured on Kindleboards again today.


----------

