# "No, we're good. We all speak English as our first language."



## Guest (Oct 6, 2010)

A true candidate for *****'s Idiot of the Day Award:

I just got a phone call from a telemarketer offering our company three free classes on English as a Second Language for our employees. So I say to her "No, we're good. We all speak English as our first language."

To which she replied, "Oh, so you don't think they wouldn't be interested in learning English as a _second_ language?"

  

No, you did not misread that. That is what she said to me verbatim.


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## Barbiedull (Jul 13, 2010)

I think they'd do well at the classes!    Telemarketers don't like to take no for an answer.


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## Geemont (Nov 18, 2008)

Hey, don't knock it.  My first language is American English, my second is British English.  Ha.

JOKE:
What do you call someone who speaks three languages?  Trilingual.
What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual.
What do you call someone who speaks only one language?  American.


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## Guest (Oct 6, 2010)

Geemont said:


> Hey, don't knock it. My first language is American English, my second is British English. Ha.


My second language is Gamerspeak, with a specialty in the WOW dialect...


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

Oh gods Julie, you have no idea how reading that helped me right now.. I SOOO needed a laugh.

<EQ dialect here so I qualify on Gamerspeak too... with a Master's in Mistells because I chat sooo much.


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## Shahi Paneer (Oct 4, 2010)

Being an Indian, I am supposed to know atleast two languages, maybe even three ( I do know 4 ). And I do know Gamerspeak so does that make it 5?


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## A. Rosaria (Sep 12, 2010)

Shahi Paneer said:


> Being an Indian, I am supposed to know atleast two languages, maybe even three ( I do know 4 ). And I do know Gamerspeak so does that make it 5?


Is gamespeak what used to be Leetspeak or are they two different things?


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## Shahi Paneer (Oct 4, 2010)

Pretty much the same I would guess except more of 'LOLZ' and 'U SUK' thrown in for good measure, especially if you are on XBL going head-to-head against 13 year old kids in Halo: Reach / MW2 / <insert any famous MP game>.


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

actually Even though I haven't played EQ in over a year really, I still find myself typing emotes as I would in EQ instead of using smilies.. then I catch myself, and change them. otherwise all my typing would look like :
/Hug Julie
/congratulate David
/rude telemarketer (not explaining the gesture that my character would do on this one.)

etc.. and yeah gamespeak may have gotten it's origin in 1337 speak, but more mature players don't use much of that, its the bratty kids who do, at least on EQ... I have heard that WOW had a younger player-base so it may differ, I never played it.

EQ says things like " I need a TP over to NK to take out the HG" or, "ORaid in 10m. Meet up in GL for buffs"


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## Guest (Oct 6, 2010)

BTackitt said:


> Meet up in GL for buffs"


See, in any other language, asking a complete stranger to "buff" you might get you arrested


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## Guest (Oct 6, 2010)

Geemont said:


> Hey, don't knock it. My first language is American English, my second is British English. Ha.
> 
> JOKE:
> What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Trilingual.
> ...


私はアメリカ人が三語話します。あなたは？


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## Shahi Paneer (Oct 4, 2010)

^^ Ahhh! A Trilingual!


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## Sandra Edwards (May 10, 2010)

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:


> A true candidate for Julie's Idiot of the Day Award:
> 
> I just got a phone call from a telemarketer offering our company three free classes on English as a Second Language for our employees. So I say to her "No, we're good. We all speak English as our first language."
> 
> ...


And that, my friends, is why I screen my calls. But actually, it might've been fun to have taken that call. 

Sandy


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## G. Henkel (Jan 12, 2010)

That is hilarious Julie.  It is one of the reasons why typically I won't even let them finish their first sentence. I have not once bought anything from a telemarketer over the phone so there is really no reason for me at all to listen to anything they say. Every second is a second wasted.


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## Cliff Ball (Apr 10, 2010)

Telemarketers are dishonorless petaQ! May they go to Gre'thor!


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

Currently my best languages (besides Amurrican and British) are French, Spanish, Swenglish, and Geek.  Then I have about 4 other languages that are pretty much on the level of food and swear words ...

... however, I can translate User into IT and vice versa.


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## Victorine (Apr 23, 2010)

I used to work as a telemarketer. Yeah, they're just people trying to earn a living. (I don't take offense or anything at you guys, I don't like getting sales calls either. But I do know what it's like being on the other end of the phone.)

And she probably was on auto-pilot and didn't realize what she said until after the phone call. Then I can see her having a good laugh over the whole thing.

Telemarketing is a tough job. The best way to get rid of a telemarketer is not to be rude, but to ask nicely if they can take your name off of their list. If you just say "no" they usually are required to rebuttal at least once. But _usually_ if you ask for your name to be removed, they stop and do it.

Vicki

BTW, the OP was funny, and gave me a laugh.


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## geoffthomas (Feb 27, 2009)

What is really funny is that the telemarketer may have been "offshore".
Most companies have outsourced their telemarketing as well as their helpdesk operations.
And there are two identifying characteristics:
1. They do not understand idioms
2. They use a "knowledge base" to ask or answer questions.
So when you give them a response that is not specifically in the lookup table for that time in the conversation, they have a "stock" response of their own and it is often even funnier than your experience.

Just sayin.....


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## Guest (Oct 6, 2010)

Victorine said:


> Telemarketing is a tough job. The best way to get rid of a telemarketer is not to be rude, but to ask nicely if they can take your name off of their list. If you just say "no" they usually are required to rebuttal at least once. But _usually_ if you ask for your name to be removed, they stop and do it.


Except their newest trick seems to be to just hang up when you start to even remotely SOUND like you are going to tell them to stop calling. This was a telemarketing call to a business phone, not a home phone, so the rules for the Do Not Call Registry don't apply. Telemarketing companies that call businesses have gotten downright OBNOXIOUS. I spend half the day answering the phone to hear "Please hold for an important message." Sorry, you called ME. If it is so important, have a human on the other end when I answer. Or the ones that pretend they already have a business relationship with your company. I get these phone calls for people who have not worked for us in five or six years, and the telemarketers act like they are best buddies with the person. Just yesterday, I got a call that went like this:

"Yes, I'm looking for Scott Sullivan."

"May I ask who's calling?" (we're suppose to identify callers before telling them someone does or does not work for us anymore in case it is a bill collector or job verification)

"Oh, this is Ann (or something to that effect)I'm returning his call."

"Really? You're above 5 years too late for that." And I hang up.

Yes, my bosses know I screw with the telemarketers like this. They think it is funny.


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## Guest (Oct 6, 2010)

Geoffrey said:


> ... however, I can translate User into IT and vice versa.


That, my friend, is a GIFT.


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## lonestar (Feb 9, 2010)

laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## caracara (May 23, 2010)

I don't know about the rest of ya'll but I speak Texan not English.

My favorite telemarketer call between my mom and someone:

Mom: Hello
X: Hi I'm looking for BK 
Mom: She's not available.
X: Well when would be a good time to call back?
Mom: Well she's dead.
X: Oh, would like me to take her off the list?

And then there was this one on my cell

"Did you know the warranty on your car is about to expire?"
"Mom since when do I have a car?"


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## G. Henkel (Jan 12, 2010)

I turned the table on a telemarketer once. The girl was trying to sell me something, don't recall what, and I listened through her whole spiel. When she was done, I simply, said, "That is so cool, and you know what? I have here a really big stack of girl scout cookies and I am absolutely positive you would like some. Just imagine yourself, chewing on one of those scrumptuous little bites. They're really cheap and if you want, I can arrange easy monthly payments..."

At that point I was talking to myself...


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## Vegas_Asian (Nov 2, 2008)

foreverjuly said:


> 私はアメリカ人が三語話します。あなたは？


Yes! I learned something in 6 years of japanese and two years in the country....although I can't speak it to save my life. I have a survival japan (I mean written word) with a dictionary.
that was totally off topic.....I'm going to bed. I have an exam that I have been studying for.


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## Scheherazade (Apr 11, 2009)

Not all telemarketers are evil.  I was a telemarketer for... maybe a year of my life total and I hate putting it on resumes because there is such a bad connotations.  But there are also telemarketers who -you- call to buy things off of television.  That's what I was for... all of three months.  The rest of that time I worked for Sprint, so I guess I was more working in telecommunications, but the title was still telemarketer.  And yes, telemarketers are required to ask you if you want to add stuff to your Snuggie purchase, and you refuse they are required to ask you at least one more time.

It's a pretty crappy job, and yeah the ones who call you are in a different category, but I still hate to be rude to them unless I know it's the same person incessantly calling despite my being uninterested.  My stepdad was always mean to them on the phone and I guess I'm just not like that.  It's annoying how pushy they can be, but they really are doing a job probably because they can't find better.  It's better than collecting welfare and I doubt they like doing it anymore than we like them calling.  It's the companies that need to be regulated, the people calling are just pawns.


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

Who I'm mean to are the ones no selling anything but who are trying to track down someone to give them money for an old debt they've bought.  We are called regularly by different companies trying to extract information from us and demanding we pay them money for debts we don't owe.


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2010)

Vegas_Asian said:


> Yes! I learned something in 6 years of japanese and two years in the country....although I can't speak it to save my life. I have a survival japan (I mean written word) with a dictionary.
> that was totally off topic.....I'm going to bed. I have an exam that I have been studying for.


It's ok. That's great you spent so much time with it. I do like the language. But if you don't use it, you lose it, and so I'm sure it's atrophying by the day for me. Good luck with your exam!


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## Scheherazade (Apr 11, 2009)

Geoffrey said:


> Who I'm mean to are the ones no selling anything but who are trying to track down someone to give them money for an old debt they've bought. We are called regularly by different companies trying to extract information from us and demanding we pay them money for debts we don't owe.


Hm yes, these people are just criminals as far as I'm concerned.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

My brother once got a call from someone looking for votes for his political candidate. . . . .. now, bro had already decided he wasn't going to vote for the guy, but he had nothing better to do so he engaged with the caller in an intelligent debate. . .asking what was the guy's stand on various issues.  Spent a good half hour or more on the phone with him.

Finally, they went to wrap up the call, "So, we can count on your vote next week."

"Well, no, I'm voting for the other guy."

Silence.  And then, "Why did you spend so much time talking with us then?"

"Well, it's that much less time you can spend calling other people to support your guy!"


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2010)

Scheherazade said:


> Not all telemarketers are evil.


Some are merely chaotic nuetral.

The sad part is, I'm not opposed to TMs per se. If someone calls my workplace offering a service, I don't cut them off outright. Sometimes, they really CAN give us a better price. But just be straight with me and tell me what you want. I swear to god, I get about a dozen calls a day that go something like this:

"Can I speak to the owner or manager?" says the telemarketer.

"Well, we're part of **** ***** Company. If you can be more specific, I can get you to the right person."

"Can I speak to the CEO then?"

"The CEO isn't located in this facility. But if you can tell me what you want, I can get you to the right person."

"Well then, can I speak to your purchasing manager?"

"We don't have someone with that title in this facility, BUT IF YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, I can get you to the right person."

"Can I speak to the person who makes the purchasing decisions in that facility?"

"That depends on what you are selling. Different departments buy different things."

"Can I speak to the person that handles your break room supplies?"

"Sure, that would be me. And I'm not interested in doing business with YOU since it took you five minutes to give me a straight answer."


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## KBoards Admin (Nov 27, 2007)

Genius!



Ann in Arlington said:


> My brother once got a call from someone looking for votes for his political candidate. . . . .. now, bro had already decided he wasn't going to vote for the guy, but he had nothing better to do so he engaged with the caller in an intelligent debate. . .asking what was the guy's stand on various issues. Spent a good half hour or more on the phone with him.
> 
> Finally, they went to wrap up the call, "So, we can count on your vote next week."
> 
> ...


FYI, there have been some reports on this thread and I've removed some posts that went a little over-the-top, along the lines of "first, let's kill all the telemarketers".


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2010)

Harvey said:


> FYI, there have been some reports on this thread and I've removed some posts that went a little over-the-top, along the lines of "first, let's kill all the telemarketers".


  Complaints from the National Association of Telemarketers?


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## LCEvans (Mar 29, 2009)

Sometimes I start telling them about my books and then they hang up.

Linda


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