# Gloom Despair and Agony of Me - On Aging Gracefully



## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

I'm 46yo so I've hit that point in my life where I completely accept that I'm not a young man, enjoy tweaking young men's noses when they complain about approaching 30 and I'm not yet ready to admit that I'm aging. I have no problem with certain physiological changes like silvering chest hair or that old man grunting noise when I get out of a car, however, I just had to bite the bullet and accept one change that's more a blow to my ego than anything else so far:

*Bifocals*

I've known for some years that they're coming - I was forewarned at 40 and around 44 was told they were only a couple years away. I have noticed, over the past year, some minor difficulty refocusing when going from my kindle to the TV and back again. Yesterday I went in for an eye exam and the doctor and he told me I'm on the cusp and wrote a prescription for new lenses with a single lens and with the double. He said it's my choice but he also showed me how the single lens will look for distance and close reading. When I was at Lenscrafters, I was fighting with myself the entire time over whether to go with a progressive lens or not. It really was all about my ego and admitting that I've reached the point. I really was surprised how difficult it was to admit it to myself. There really was a strong you're-an-old-man-if-you-do-that block in my brain that needed to be overcome.

In the end, I did order the progressive lenses along with some single lens sunglasses and I've admitted to myself that I will need them going forward. When I stopped coloring my hair a few years ago, I had no oldster issues around it even though everyone can see my hair color. But, I still have some serious oldster issues with these glasses even though the frames are cool and youthful and no one but me will know what's going on with the lenses.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Ah, Geoffrey, you youngster...I got my bifocals at about the same age and got progressive lenses....  Now that I'm almost completely gray and my much, much, much, much older   hubby isn't, I've given up on the age thing.  Whatever.

Betsy


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

I know.  

My thing is exactly the same thing I find amusing in 30somethings and their aging issues.  And it really is an ego thing for me - and a much more difficult thing to push past than any other single item.....


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## mom2karen (Aug 15, 2009)

I got bifocals in my 20's  I will suggest that when you first wear your progressives that you do it at home while sitting on the couch reading and watching tv.  You may experience some dizziness while you adjust to them.


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## Atunah (Nov 20, 2008)

I been wearing bifocals for a few years now. I needed them in my late 30's. I kept my hard contacts as long as I could and just stuck reading glasses over it. But then my eyes dried up and now I can't have any lenses anymore and its bifocals every day. And yes, they do have a line. I haven't gotten progressives for 2 reasons. Very expensive and also I don't think I could get used to the way that "tunnel" works. Because of my prescription and the difference between the distance and the closeup, the middle tunnel would be very narrow. I think that would drive me nuts. I now order extra glasses like computer glasses online at some chinese place. Same prescription as I get at the local store. 

My problem is that the prescription they gave me for the reading part is about.25 too strong. I don't like holding my kindle that close. Not comfortable, but they only do what the Rx says, so I had to order more online again.  . I also need different stages. As in every 6 inches or so it seems I need a different step in the prescription. Its frustrating.  

Its the downside of being farsighted and needing bifocals. 

In the beginning I thought what they looked like. But now, I don't care. I need bifocals so I wear bifocals. Its what it is.  . My day was made when the kid at the grocery store carded me for buying wine while wearing bifocals.


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## Christopher Bunn (Oct 26, 2010)

Is there a backlash against not aging gracefully these days? I hope so. I find the plasticity of facelifts somewhat alarming. It usually has a stretched, saran-wrap sort of look that makes me think the skull beneath is straining to burst out.

Sorry. Didn't mean to turn this into a horror discussion.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

When I was close to bifocals I just got laser surgery -- that was in 1999 and it was the best thing I ever did. They told me I'd probably still need readers eventually, and within a couple of years I did. But I can buy cute readers and keep multiple pairs wherever I might need them for $10 to $15 a pair. . . . rather than spending several hundred dollars on ONE pair of glasses that I HAVE to wear all the time. I'd worn glasses since I was about 6 and swore that if I could ever have surgery to do away with the need for them I would.

As to the hair: the women in my family all turn beautifully gray -- eventually quite white -- between the age of 40 and whenever. I'm that age now and don't bother with coloring. . .though my hair guy does like for me to get highlights every few months because he thinks it makes the gray look brighter. When he first suggested it I told him I had no real desire to _hide_ the gray, and he said, 'right, but may as well help it be the _best_ gray it can be.' At some point it'll be more white than not and that won't even make sense any more.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

As I've never had health insurance that would cover the cost of laser surgery, getting prescription bifocals is much cheaper.  

Betsy


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## Atunah (Nov 20, 2008)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> As I've never had health insurance that would cover the cost of laser surgery, getting prescription bifocals is much cheaper.
> 
> Betsy


Yeah. Those do run several thousand dollars I think. I don't even think I would be a candidate, but I never tested to find out as I couldn't afford it anyway. 
Would be nice though. I don't even know how it is not wearing glasses. I got my first when I was 2 years old. And they stuck tape over my right one to make the left one work. . Those are the only memories I have being a kid at that age. Hated not being able to see. Never worked anyway, my left one stayed creepy. 

What would that be like to wake up in the morning, open your eyes and see clearly.


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Betsy the Quilter said:


> As I've never had health insurance that would cover the cost of laser surgery, getting prescription bifocals is much cheaper.
> 
> Betsy


Well, that's true. Fortunately the medical coverage we had at the time was such that we got something like $5000 a year reimbursed. And I was able to spread the payments over a full 12 months which were in 2 different calendar years.

Insurance does sometimes cover it nowadays. . . . . it can be considered surgery to correct a congenital defect. The cost is definitely tax deductible! 

It is really nice to be able to see the time on the clock in the middle of the nithg without having to fumble for glasses or hold the clock right up to your face.


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## geniebeanie (Apr 23, 2009)

I was twenty four when I had to start wearing bifocals.  Started wearing glasses at the age of two and a half.  It is a fact of life that I need them, so I do not worry about it.


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## KTaylor-Green (Aug 24, 2011)

I have been wearing a bifocal system for contact lenses for 15 yrs or so. One lens is for close up and the other for distance and they work very well together. When I look outward, the right eye is dominant and when I read, the left one is.


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## Betsy the Quilter (Oct 27, 2008)

Ann in Arlington said:


> It is really nice to be able to see the time on the clock in the middle of the nithg without having to fumble for glasses or hold the clock right up to your face.


I have a clock with really big numbers.  It was really cheap.

I looked into it at one point, but I never really cared about wearing glasses or not, and I preferred to have a new sewing machine.

Betsy


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## BTackitt (Dec 15, 2008)

> Gloom Despair And Agony of Me


Deep dark depression excessive misery.
If I had no bad luck 
I'd have no luck at all...

(I don't know many people who know that song, so it's always good to recognize it.)


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## Geoffrey (Jun 20, 2009)

I'm glad someone else had to watch Hee Haw back in the day ....


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## drenfrow (Jan 27, 2010)

Just from reading this thread I now have that song stuck in my head. Yes, we watched Hee Haw in my house too.

I've worn glasses/contacts since fourth grade and I consider it one of the great injustices of life to have to wear contacts *and* reading glasses. I have become THAT teacher, the one with the glasses halfway down her nose, looking over them at the students. Ugh. I got a pair of no-line bifocals for around the house but I prefer to wear my contacts at work. Yeah, this part of getting old sucks.


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## spotsmom (Jan 20, 2011)

KTaylor-Green said:


> I have been wearing a bifocal system for contact lenses for 15 yrs or so. One lens is for close up and the other for distance and they work very well together. When I look outward, the right eye is dominant and when I read, the left one is.


Exactly what I do. I only have to wear one contact in my left eye (which is a bifocal- upper for computer, lower for reading). Fortunately, my right eye is perfect. Don't think I could handle having to mess with TWO contacts. 

Great bifocal story though. Back in "the day" when my grandmother first got bifocals, she put them on at the eye doc's and then got on an escalator. My mom says she was screaming all the way down!!!

BR549


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## Sandpiper (Oct 28, 2008)

Geoffrey said:


> I'm 46yo


I WISH.

I've got 20 years on you. What I see in the mirror and what I see in my head don't "compute". (Senior moment -- right now can't think of the word I want.) I used to fix my hair and put something on and think -- yeah, that's good. Now I'm not sure. Am I too old to wear this? (I'm usually am guessed 10 - 15 years younger.  People tell me I look, act, and sound younger.) But I just don't know. I think it's because you see yourself in the mirror day-to-day -- you don't see the changes happening. Then you look at an older photo . . . what happened

I started wearing bifocals in my early to mid 40s. But past few years, close vision is reversing and getting better. Doc says will never be perfect again though.


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## Hoosiermama (Dec 28, 2009)

Sandpiper said:


> I WISH.
> 
> I've got 20 years on you. What I see in the mirror and what I see in my head don't "compute". (Senior moment -- right now can't think of the word I want.) I used to fix my hair and put something on and think -- yeah, that's good. Now I'm not sure. Am I too old to wear this? (I'm usually am guessed 10 - 15 years younger.  ) But I just don't know. I think it's because you see yourself in the mirror day-to-day -- you don't see the changes happening. Then you look at an older photo . . . what happened
> 
> I started wearing bifocals in my early to mid 40s. But past few years, close vision is reversing and getting better. Doc says will never be perfect again though.


Every morning when I get up, I do a double take and think "who the heck is THAT??!!" And then I realize it's me. Last summer DH had to have cataract surgery and I am fast approaching the need. We're 55. My hair is completely white... His is getting there much slower. Our sons threatened to get us life alerts for Christmas  such sweet boys!

I've had bifocals for about 20 years. I've always had progressives. The one thing I'm looking forward to with the cataract surgery is no more glasses except for reading. Now I just have to get brave enough to do it.

I'm still trying to figure out where the years went.


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## bordercollielady (Nov 21, 2008)

Geoffrey - you are too funny.. I'm 64 - up to trifocals now.. (progressive)..  they say its easier to work on computers with the "mid" range.    Soon - you are really going to appreciate the larger Kindle Fonts!  And I just colored my hair this afternoon - so there...


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