# Active Senior Living



## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

My new book "Active Senior Living" is now available on the Kindle for just $2.49. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003552KD2

It's a fictionalized memoir about life in the Active Senior Living facility where I now live in Southern California. I began writing on my blog -- jancurranevents.typepad.com -- about life here shortly after I moved in and people were laughing at what I was writing. One of my kids said don't blog it, go for it in a book.. so I did. I wrote about my first year, from the day I moved in, with all the crazy people I met, some sad things, some very funny things, and some things that touched me. And some that did not touch me, like the men eager to tell me that either they had Viagra or didn't need it and mind you, these old goats were in their late 80s, to mid 90's.

It's not all funny because I also wrote about my battle with cancer that first year, too, and how supportive the people here were to me. Very loving, just as they are now when I am fighting cancer again.

I hope you will enjoy the book and that it will give you a smile. If your parent is considering going into a retirement home or you have a friend battling cancer or you just want to know what goes on behind the walls of one of these places.. then this is the book for you.

Here are the "house rules" for the dining room at the Active Senior Living facility:

*1. No sleeping in the dining room.
2. Please use tissues rather than the cloth napkins for blowing your nose.
3. No baseball caps or other head gear in the dining room.
4. Women should not dine with rollers in their hair.
5. No bare feet.
6. No pajamas, nightgowns or robes in the dining room.
7. No wine service with breakfast.
8. Motorized scooters in designated areas only.
9. Wait staff will not be responsible for partials or dentures left on dining tables.
10. Wait staff will not be responsible for hearing aids left on dining tables.
11. Second helpings on dessert only.*


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## Tangiegirl (Dec 21, 2008)

Welcome!  I sampled and then 1-Clicked.  Looking forward to reading.

Thanks for letting us know about your book and for the reasonable pricing.


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## mlewis78 (Apr 19, 2009)

I understand all the rules for the dining room, except for the one forbidding baseball caps.


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## KayakerNC (Oct 7, 2009)

mlewis78 said:


> I understand all the rules for the dining room, except for the one forbidding baseball caps.


That is one rule that I wish they would enforce at ALL restaurants.


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

You should see the line-up of scooters and walkers outside of the dining room. It's like a parking lot! 

Jan


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

Tangiegirl said:


> Welcome! I sampled and then 1-Clicked. Looking forward to reading.
> 
> Thanks for letting us know about your book and for the reasonable pricing.


I hope you enjoy it! I look forward to hearing your comments.

Jan


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## luvkin (Sep 25, 2009)

It sounds very good, Jan.  Can you tell me how many pages it is?


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## ReeseReed (Dec 5, 2009)

added this one to my wishlist!


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## luvshihtzu (Dec 19, 2008)

Tried the sample and loved it.  Bought the book.
Thank you for the good laughs. I did add your book to The Book Bazaar/ Bargain Book Finds for January.  Hope it helps your sales.


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

luvkin said:


> It sounds very good, Jan. Can you tell me how many pages it is?


Thank you!

It's 255 pages in trade paperback, I don't know how many pages that translates to on the Kindle.

Jan


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## luvkin (Sep 25, 2009)

Thanks, Jan. I bought it and it's on my TBR list.  As a resident of Florida where we have a bunch of retirement communities and I have sold many homes in, I look forward to reading about what REALLY happens behind the gates ~


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## mamiller (Apr 28, 2009)

Oh, this sounds good!


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## akagriff (Sep 8, 2009)

I think I'll have to get this.  I run a dining room (and meals on wheels) at a local sr. center.  I can relate to the list.  One that I would add is "don't try to take home leftovers in a paper napkin"  It's just so messy.


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

luvshihtzu said:


> Tried the sample and loved it. Bought the book.
> Thank you for the good laughs. I did add your book to The Book Bazaar/ Bargain Book Finds for January. Hope it helps your sales.


That is so nice of you! And thank you so much for the great review on Amazon, I really appreciate it.

Jan


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

Here's an excerpt from the first chapter of the book (and it's a true story!):


Stan was at my door two hours after the movers left me in my new home at an Active Senior Living Center in Shayna Beach. Or, as I called it, the Alta Cocker Inn.

“Hello, young lady,” he said, smiling broadly. “My name is Stan Bodie.  Is your mother home?”
Is my mother home? No man had come knocking at my door with that question in fifty years and, when they had, they were selling encyclopedias.

I gave Stan the once over. All 5’2” of him. White hair, styled in a comb over that began just over his left ear, thin mustache. Trifocals. White tennis shoes with black executive hose.  Petite. If he was a woman, he’d be a size zero at Chico’s.

He’d obviously dressed to impress. His leisure suit, 100% polyester, in a beige waffle weave, had to be at least 40 years old and darn if it, and he, didn’t look like an exhibit from the fashion section of the Smithsonian.

“Nice outfit,” I said, trying to say something to explain my staring at him so intently.

Stan beamed. “My wife always loved this one. She’s been gone twenty years now, but I know it would make her happy to know I still wear this. And that it fits perfectly.  Actually, I have three of these suits. They’re designed for relaxing. I have them in different colors. You’ll see. I wear one every day and you can tell your mother I do my own laundry and these always look good because they never need ironing. Some new kind of fabric. Does your mother still drive? I don’t, but I would pay for the gas if she drove.”

“My mother lives in Seattle,” I said, “And, she doesn’t drive, either. Were you thinking of dating her? Is that why you’re at the door?”
“Store? No, I don’t need anything at the store,” he said, totally ignoring all I had said.

“Are you hard of hearing?” I asked, raising my voice.

“Yes. I wear two hearing aids; cost me $6,000, but I can afford it. They help when I remember to change the batteries, but most days I still have trouble hearing, so you and your mother need to speak up when you talk to me,” he said, turning his head from side to side so I could view his aides.

“Does your mother wear hearing aids? Will I need to speak louder to talk to her?”

“Stan,” I said, my voice now a full octave higher, “my mother is not here and will not be here and why are you so eager to meet her anyway?”

He pushed his walker to one side, thrust his hand out to shake my hand and make his introduction more official.

“I need to meet your mother because it’s my job to greet each new resident on the second floor. I got elected in a landslide. I ran a good campaign, too. My slogan was ‘Stan Is Your Man’. I live in 217, your mother lives in 225. See how close we are? When is your mother moving in? It’s important that she have my phone number. Part of my job is to be the emergency contact for this wing of the second floor. Something is wrong? All she has to do is call me. Now, I can’t hear the phone ring, but if she lets it ring a long time, eventually I will see the red light indicating I have a call. Of course, she could just come and knock on my door, but I can’t always hear that, either, so I leave my door unlocked. Tell her to just walk in. How old is your mother? Does she have her own money?”

“Stan,” I said, speaking at almost a scream level, “my mother is 94, is financially secure and...”

“Oh, 94,” he interrupted. “That’s perfect. I’m 95.”

“Stan, you’re not hearing everything I say, or you have selective hearing. Which is it? I’ll talk louder.”

“Chowder, you say? No, I had lunch, but thanks.”

“Stan,” I yelled. “Listen to me. My mother is not moving in here. She is very happy in Seattle. I’m the one moving in here. Did you hear that? I’m moving in here, my mother is not.”

“I heard you, young lady, and you’re too young to live here. Does your mother know her daughter is living in an old folks’ complex? Tell her not to worry. I’m here to protect you,” he said.

“Protect me? How?”

Stan stood up straighter, took on an air of importance.

“I’m the fire marshal for this floor. If there is a fire, I’ll come to alert you and then you follow me down the stairs.” 

“Stan,” I said, “Look, you’re hard of hearing. I don’t mean to be rude, but how will you ever hear the fire alarm? Wouldn’t it be better if I alerted you?”

There was a big smile on Stan’s face now. “Okay, you alert me. Do you drive? We can go to some nice restaurants. You know, I’m just down the hall, so come over anytime you’re feeling lonely. And, just between you and me, I have a prescription for Viagra.”


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

I am so truly touched by all the great comments and reviews I have been getting on Amazon for my book. I had no idea I could reach so many people so quickly. I know a lot of them got the word here, so I want to thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for your support.

Jan


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## KayakerNC (Oct 7, 2009)

I downloaded the sample.
At this point, I am laughing too hard to find the 1-click.


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## LeeGoldberg (Jun 12, 2009)

Thank you all for being so enthusiastic about ACTIVE SENIOR LIVING and so kind to the author, Jan Curran... who just happens to be my Mom.

Lee


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## daveconifer (Oct 20, 2009)

LeeGoldberg said:


> Thank you all for being so enthusiastic about ACTIVE SENIOR LIVING and so kind to the author, Jan Curran... who just happens to be my Mom.
> 
> Lee


Now that's what I call a plot twist! Cool!

Like the other posters I think this is a great idea and I can't wait to read it.


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## LeeGoldberg (Jun 12, 2009)

Dave,

It's not much of a twist if you know my family. I'm the oldest of four children. My brother Tod Goldberg is a writer (OTHER RESORT CITIES, BURN NOTICE: THE FIX etc) and also runs the graduate creative writing program at UC Riverside's Palm Desert campus. My sisters Karen Dinino & Linda Woods are writers (JOURNAL REVOLUTION, VISUAL CHRONICLES, etc.) and so is my Uncle Burl Barer (MOM SAID KILL, MURDER IN THE FAMILY etc.). 

I hope you enjoy Mom's book. She has been stunned by the enthusiastic response she's been getting from readers. 

Lee


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## drenee (Nov 11, 2008)

LeeGoldberg said:


> Thank you all for being so enthusiastic about ACTIVE SENIOR LIVING and so kind to the author, Jan Curran... who just happens to be my Mom.
> 
> Lee


OMG, that is a plot twist. I did not expect that. I have sampled the book and it's so funny. Thank you.
deb


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## Anju  (Nov 8, 2008)

drenee said:


> OMG, that is a plot twist. I did not expect that. I have sampled the book and it's so funny. Thank you.
> deb


deb I think you can probably relate to a lot in this book, not necessarily the "HOME" living though.


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## karij123 (Dec 27, 2009)

Rarely do I laugh out loud while reading a book.  Maybe while at home, but certainly not while reading in public.  Today, I'm sure the patrons at the restaurant I lunched at thought I was nuts.  Maybe it was reading about Mr. Jones and Carol Channing.  Maybe because I can remember so clearly when my grandparents lived in one of these places at all the women swarmed around my very married grandfather, begging him to play the piano and sing with them. It brought back many of my own memories of hanging out with them at their facility.

I cannot wait to share this book with my parents.  And siblings.  And children someday.


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

Karij123,

I can't thank you enough for all the nice things you said. It makes me so happy to know my book made such a strong impression on you and that it made you laugh. Thank you so much!

Jan


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## LeeGoldberg (Jun 12, 2009)

Karij,

My Mom just emailed me to let me know about the incredible review. She was _so_ flattered. I hope you will consider posting your review on Amazon.

Lee
(Jan's son)

PS - I am trying to convince her to write a sequel...or at least a few thousand word update on what has happened to all the "characters" in her book.


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## karij123 (Dec 27, 2009)

I will definitely go out to Amazon and write a review.  I just finished it over lunch today and, although it was absolutely hilarious, there were few tear-jerking moment as well.  I'd love a sequel.  I want to know what happened with Ed (one of my favorite characters).  Did Chubby ever get her hands and knees done?  

And, I have to admit, a little prayer was said about your treatments, and I hope you're still doing well.  

But I was also thinking...this would make a great tv series!


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## LeeGoldberg (Jun 12, 2009)

karij123 said:


> I cannot wait to share this book with my parents. And siblings. And children someday.


I meant to tell you that you can also get the book in trade paperback. here is the link:

http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/active-senior-living/8109769

Lee


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## karij123 (Dec 27, 2009)

LeeGoldberg said:


> I meant to tell you that you can also get the book in trade paperback. here is the link:
> 
> http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/active-senior-living/8109769
> 
> Lee


THANK YOU!!! I was wondering what I was going to do to let them read it. I'm quite possessive of my Kindle.


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

karij123 said:


> I will definitely go out to Amazon and write a review. I just finished it over lunch today and, although it was absolutely hilarious, there were few tear-jerking moment as well. I'd love a sequel. I want to know what happened with Ed (one of my favorite characters). Did Chubby ever get her hands and knees done?
> 
> And, I have to admit, a little prayer was said about your treatments, and I hope you're still doing well.
> 
> But I was also thinking...this would make a great tv series!


Karij,

Ed is doing fine, enjoys his life at assisted living and has hired a young woman to drive him places. He loves the attention she gives to him. Chubby never did get her hands and knees done but she has the most beautiful skin, still.. swears by the face creams her plastic surgeon sells. Thank you for your comments and prayers, too. It means a lot to me.

Jan


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

The damndest thing here at the Inn. Someone with nibble fingers has been stealing some of the decor items from Xmas out of the lobby ,plus pillows off the sofas,  things out of the activity director's office. So a letter went out to all of us asking whomever stole the stuff to return it and no questions would be asked. Well nothing was returned so today we all got a letter saying that each apartment will be searched next Wed. between 11 and 1:00. Of all the dumb things. There isn't room in my apartment for an extra box of Kleenex let alone some Xmas decor.
And by telling the thief or thieves when the search will be couldn't they just put the stolen things in a garbage bag and go put it in their car until after the search? 

Jan


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

Karij,

Thank you so much for leaving that terrific review for my book on Amazon!! I really appreciate it.

Jan


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## karij123 (Dec 27, 2009)

JanBCurran said:


> Karij,
> 
> Thank you so much for leaving that terrific review for my book on Amazon!! I really appreciate it.
> 
> Jan


You're welcome! Hope you don't mind that I've been shamelessly telling everyone I talk to about this book. I can't wait to get the print version and take it down to my parent. My mom being a former nurse in a nursing home and my grandparents living in a facility like this and then moving in with my parents before his death (Alzheimers at 93 for my grandfather), they will enjoy it so much. My grandfather played both the piano and banjo and every time we visited at the home, he was down in the lounge playing for the group. The ladies would sing along and shout out requests. If he didn't know it, he'd pretend he did and the ladies would somehow make the words fit the music. The tours all the residents had to give the visitors. The stories they would tell.

My grandpa was the best and your book brought back some great memories I hadn't thought of in a while. I could put faces to the characters, even if they were the faces from my experiences and not yours. That's something I love to find in books and doesn't always happen, which is why I think I've enjoyed this one so much (and want everyone to read it so we can discuss it).


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## LeeGoldberg (Jun 12, 2009)

Kari J,

My Mom is still waiting for the trade paperback version to be listed at the Amazon store. Hopefully, it will be up there soon. Mom has a lot of friends at The Inn who want to read it but don't own Kindles and can't seem to figure out how to go to Lulu to order the paperback. But in the mean time, it sure is selling briskly on the Kindle...and she already has more positive reviews for her book than I got on my last MONK novel!

Lee


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

Yesterday we had a marketing event here. It's so damn dumb. It's a senior prom and there are women downstairs dressed like they are preparing to walk down the aisle as the grandmother of the bride. Lots of pastel shaded lace suits and dresses. I almost got the giggles looking at them. All the furniture is out of the lobby and replaced with cocktail tables and it is decorated like New Year's Eve.. a five piece " orchestra" will play for dancing. The dance started at 5:30 an goes until 8 so we were all told we had to eat dinner at 4:00 and by  3:30 the dining room was full of people, me included. I wasn't even hungry which was good cus dinner was loin of cod. Do fish have loins? I ordered sausage and eggs, ate that and got the hell out before the public began arriving to wine and dine and dance with free champagne and bite size goodies like meat balls, which Jay said were probably better than our dinner. Ah ,the joys of this lifestyle! Guess I can always write about that for the sequel to Active Senior Living.


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## Lynn2010 (Jan 2, 2010)

It sounds so delightful that I just ordered it and downloaded it to my Kindle. Having had relatives in nursing homes I know there are often moments of sheer delight and humor mixed among the moments of sadness. 

This will be next on my reading list following the book I'm currently reading.


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

After baked loin of cod as our menu choice last night ... and who ever knew cod had loins, I expected tonight's choice  to  be roasted leg of Rainbow Trout.  Our chef is very creative and not always in a good way. His seasoning of choice is always jalapeno and gravy is on everything. Same gravy, no matter was the entree is.  I've gotten used to eating cold mashed potatoes, over cooked beef and chicken that is less than tender but the good news is I haven't lost any weight.  Maybe that is because I do the feeding tube for breakfast and most days for lunch , too, and that gives me some good calories.

When we are served a meal that is less than desirable I am reminded of what my friend Ed told me ( and I put in the book Active Senior Living) and that was that he figured the  food budget per resident was about $7 a day. " it's like Boy Scout camp," he had said, " only here we have indoor plumbing."

I've talked to residents at other active senior complexes and it is the same story everywhere.. not just here and not just in California. The food tends to be the least most attractive thing about the place. But , as my friend Betsy says, " we didn't have to go get the groceries, cook the meal, clear the table or do the dishes. They can cook it any way they want and it's fine with me!"


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

Meanwhile back at the Inn...

94 year old Marge showed up in the dining room without her choppers this morning. She went from table to table looking at each of us ,not in the eye, but in the mouth, to ask, " Have you seen my teeth?"
No one had.
"It's against the rules to leave your dentures in a glass on the table," said Baron.
"If you did that, the wait staff probably tossed them out."
" But, I didn't leave my teeth in here," Marge said. " I think someone has stolen them."
" Check the lost and found box at the concierge's desk, "  Larry suggested.
When Marge had left the room , Betsy said, " she's getting a lot of short term memory loss. Her kids want her to move to assisted living, but she is refusing."
" Why?" I asked, " the expense or that fear of it being God's waiting room?"
" Neither," Betsy said. " You can't have booze in your room at assisted living, so that's why she won't move."
"Oh," I said ,nodding with the knowledge that Marge liked a bit of Scotch in the eight glasses of water she faithfully drank each day.
Drinking among the seniors is a problem at Active Senior Living, but that's another story for another day.


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## Bonnie Glover (Feb 25, 2010)

Sounds funny.


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

One of the nicest things about Ventura ,CA. is that it never gets too hot.

After years ( 25) of living in Palm Springs and facing temperatures at 120 or more some days, it was such a welcome relief to be here where a hot day meant maybe 80. And those days were far and few.. with the average temperature around 70. Almost ideal. Summer usually means a few hot days, but also a lot of days of fog.

Well, right now , this week we haven't had any fog but we sure have had the hot days and I'm not too pleased about it. Hard to take a nap when it is hot in here. To me, a nap means getting under my mom's " nap time" quilt for an hour or so.  She used it for years and after she passed away I took the quilt and sent it back to Ventura and put it at the foot of my bed.  So, a nap means using that and thinking of good times with my mom.

Mom would surely laugh if I could tell her about the time I spent with a new resident, Dale, the other day.

I was sitting in the lobby lounge with my buddy Larry, just passing the time of day before we went in to dinner when Dale came over and sat down on my other side and began talking to me.

"Do you like movies?" he asked.

" Yes, " I said.

Dale was all smiles. " You know, they show a movie here every night upstairs in the media room. I could come to your apartment and get you and we could go together. How about if we do that tonight?"

" No thank you," I said.

" It's an hour before dinner. Let's go to the park. I still drive and my car is out in front. Come on,"	he said , reaching for my arm.

I pulled my arm away and said, " No, thank you, I don't want to go to the park."

Dale leaned in closer, as if he had a secret to tell me.  " Do you have a DVD player?"

" Yes, why?"

" I have a lot of movies. I could bring one to your apartment tonight. It's more fun if you watch a DVD with someone else. What time should I come over?"

" I'm not interested in watching a DVD with you," I said, leaning away from him.

" Well, then," he said, all smiles again, " Let's just go to the park together. They have benches and we could sit together and just enjoy the sunshine."

" My answer is still no," I said , hoping my tone showed that I had enough of his asking me to do something with him.

"What's your apartment number?" he asked. " I'll just come over tonight and we can visit or watch t.v. together."

"I'm not giving you my apartment number," I said , " I don't want you to come over so get that idea out of your head."

Larry who had been sitting quietly and listening to all this began to laugh. Dale looked at him, as if noticing him for the first time.

" And who are you?" Dale asked.

" I'm Larry and I don't want to watch a DVD with you, or go to a movie, or sit together to watch t.v. and don't ask me to go to the park, either."

Well, I burst out laughing at Larry's response to Dale.  Dale, on the other hand, didn't find it funny and stood up, putting his hand on my shoulder. " If you change your mind and you want to get together after dinner just give me a call. I'm in apartment 104."

And with that parting request he left the lounge area.

" I think you made a conquest, " Larry said.

We were still laughing as we headed in to dinner.


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## JanBCurran (Jan 20, 2010)

A bit of news from here at my Active Senior Living facility, the setting of my book of the same name.

Claire and Bernie were married in 1950, had one child, a daughter and then divorced a few years ater. Each remarried , moved from here to other cities and rarely saw each other. Of course, there were the family events where they were more or less required to be together.. a daughter's wedding, the birth of a granchild, a graduaton..that sort of thing. Claire carried some sort of grudge, or dislike she never got rid of, and when they were together she was, by her own admission, rude to Bernie.

Okay, we jump ahead to modern times and both Claire and Bernie are widowed ,both in their 80's and both no longer able to live alone. They didn't need assisted living, but they needed what active senior living offered... housekeeping and other people around for a social life and the comfort of knowing there are people, other residens ,close by for comfort, support and friendship.

Their daughter moved Claire to my active senior living in May. Claire wasn't happy about the move ,hated to leave her home and the familiar things about living in San Francisco.. but her daughter lives here and her grandson and it meant being closer to them, so she moved and settled in.

Then, in September a new resident moved in. Bernie. His health was fragile, there were a few signs f dementia and his daughter wanted to keep a closer eye on him, so she decided the easiest thing for her was to have both of her parents living in the same building. And, maybe, I thought, the daughter carried the thought that maybe her parents would get back together.

Well, Claire was furious. Bernie was not.

" We grew up in the same town, went to the same University and married during our senior year," he said. " We share a daughter and a grandchild. I guess we have come full circle."

Bernie would ask Claire out for dinner. She would refuse. When their daughter or grandson came to visit they would sit together in the dining room or the lounge, but Claire stayed stubborn and basically rude to Bernie.

We all watched this playing out, and some of us -- okay, me -- kinda hoped they would get back together cus that would made a nice romantic end to their life story.

Last month Bernie tripped coming out of the elevator and broke his hip. After weeks in the hospital and some time in a rehab facility it was decided he had to move to assisted living and out of this building.

We all felt sorry for him. Well, not all. Claire didn't give a hoot, in fact, was all smiles when she heard he had to move to assisted living.

Made us all wonder what had happened back in the early 60's in their marriage that caused the divorce and made Claire carry all that anger so many years.

So, if like me, you were hoping for a happy ending to their story , there isn't one.

But,  I have another story of a hot romance going on in the building now and will share that with you n another day. No, my friends, it is not me in the love affair. I should be that lucky!


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## LeeGoldberg (Jun 12, 2009)

Mom,

You had me worried with that last line. I've seen the men in your building. God forbid you should be having a hot affair with any of them... the heat might kill'em.

Lee


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## karinlib (Jan 1, 2010)

Hi Jan,

You are writing a sequel, right?  I loved your book and looking forward to more. Not only have I enjoyed your book, but I read Lee's posts, and I am reading and laughing out loud at his books too.

Karin


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## LeeGoldberg (Jun 12, 2009)

karij123 said:


> I can't wait to get the print version and take it down to my parent. My mom being a former nurse in a nursing home and my grandparents living in a facility like this and then moving in with my parents before his death (Alzheimers at 93 for my grandfather), they will enjoy it so much.


The trade paperback edition is now available on Amazon!

http://www.amazon.com/Active-Senior-Living-Jan-Curran/dp/0557273811


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