# What's your grossest story? - warning - enter at your own risk...



## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

o.k. we were talking in another thread about killing insects and it reminded me of a story...a really gross one.  I thought maybe others had gross stories, too, but I was thinking that this could be a topic that could go into the gutter fast, so I was hoping we could keep the stories somewhat above board by using "nice terms" to imply the not so nice parts of the story, if that makes any sense...I'll start...

We have a goldendoodle named Lucy who is now 2.  This story happened not long after we got her when she was about 6 months old.  She was still struggling a little with house training issues and had been sick a little.  She had gotten a hold of a toy that was made of long strings and had apparently eaten part of it.  My husband was away on a trip and my kids were at school.  On a side note, my husband and I had an implied deal in our marriage that, should anything of this nature ever come up, it would be his to deal with.  Alas, he was GONE!  She had to be inside and I didn't want her to come in having the obvious problem that she had.  I called the vet and she said that I would have to "help her" by removing the strings.  AAAAACK!!!!!  Never had done anything even remotely like that before.  I did so using a LOT of papertowels and had to walk to the garbage with it....needless to say, I almost threw up on the way...really gross!


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

Does having a baby in the front seat of your car count? Looked like someone butchered something by the time we were done. The paramedics got there after the fact with just enough time to deliver the placenta (into my favorite popcorn bowl no less) 

The other one that comes to mind is the night my 2 year old daughter decided to paint herself, her wall, her bed, and all the bedding and clothing as needed..with the contents of her diaper...apparently it was fully loaded. Luckily I was at work and missed this joyous occasion, but Dad was home to handle the containment and decomaniate the scene.


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Wow!!!  Yes, that officially counts...baby in front seat of car definitely counts (and, I believe, trumps my story on many levels  )

OHHHHH, baby diaper contents...brings back memoires...I have three little ones....there is NOTHING like that smell except, perhaps, a distant second, would be the smell of my papertowel contents on the way to the garbage.

This is going to be a difficult thread to follow, I think, for the faint at heart...


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

Oh Puppy poo clean up (or out) is pretty high on the list.


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Just have to ask, did you keep the car?


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

pawlaw aka MXCIX said:


> Just have to ask, did you keep the car?


But of course. It cleaned up quite nice. We sold it about 2 years ago. Ran the poor thing into the ground. I didn't want to sell it when we did, but it was going to cost too much to fix. We did tell the guy who bought it what happened.


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

I was wondering...my husband almost freaked out when my water broke in his car...I can't imagine the other...


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## honyock (Oct 29, 2008)

Getting ready to go play tennis many years ago, I pulled out a water container with a pump top - depress the pump and water would come out a spigot, into a cup or your mouth. I filled it, then decided to test it to make sure it was in good working order.

So, I put my mouth under the spigot, and pumped. Nothing. It seemed to be jammed. So I pumped, this time a little harder. Still nothing, still seemed to be something in the way. So, stupidly, I pumped one more time, even harder. And out of the spigot and into my mouth dropped (or was projected at a very high speed), a live roach. A live, very big roach.

Once the roach ended up confused and in the sink, I went through almost a full bottle of Scope (and about two years of psychotherapy). I think I'm okay now. 

Sam


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2008)

Roach in mouth, just kill me if that ever happens to me. 

When my son was 16 he wanted to get a job, so we let him work part time at a pizza parlor. He reached up to get the pizza cutter and it fell down on his had slicing the pad of his thumb off. They called an ambulance and then me. I had to go get the piece of the thumb which they had put in a paper cup with ice. They were able to reattach it and he doesn't have a scar.

He also had his hand slammed in a car door which nearly severed two from the first knuckle up. My youngest stepdaughter was having a wedding reception and he shows up with his hand banaged with 2 pins sticking out of the top of the 2 fingers. Really yuk.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

When I was younger (17 I think) my dad brought home pizza.  He made sure to bring red pepper flakes too, that had been packed in small clear containers.  I went to pour the pepper on my pizza when I heard "Snap, crackle, and pop", and no I wasn't eating Rice Krispies.  I looked down to see maggots sizzling on the pizza.  Apparently they were in the red pepper flakes, the other little containers were full of them.  I don't have a fear of any insect or crawling creature, except for maggots!  SO GROSS!!!  Hot pepporoni maggot pizza, thank goodness I heard them sizzling or I might have bit into it.


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## luvmy4brats (Nov 9, 2008)

Ok, that last post lost me at that M word. I honestly have an extreme phobia of them. Won't even eat white rice. I'd rather see a cockroach. <shudder>


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

luvmy4brats said:


> Ok, that last post lost me at that M word. I honestly have an extreme phobia of them. Won't even eat white rice. I'd rather see a cockroach. <shudder>


Me too!


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## kguthrie (Feb 23, 2009)

I was working as a camp counselor when I woke up to the sound of one of my campers puking all over himself. Shortly after I got him and his bunk cleaned up he managed to repeat the whole process. It was a night I will never forget.


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

honyock said:


> And out of the spigot and into my mouth dropped (or was projected at a very high speed), a live roach. A live, very big roach.
> 
> Once the roach ended up confused and in the sink, I went through almost a full bottle of Scope (and about two years of psychotherapy). I think I'm okay now.
> 
> Sam


Oh NOOOOOOO! I don't know what I would have done...actually, heart attack comes to mind. I don't know if I want to even think about the feeling of that thing crawling inside my mouth...


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Kathy said:


> slicing the pad of his thumb off. They called an ambulance and then me. I had to go get the piece of the thumb which they had put in a paper cup with ice. They were able to reattach it and he doesn't have a scar.
> 
> He also had his hand slammed in a car door which nearly severed two from the first knuckle up. My youngest stepdaughter was having a wedding reception and he shows up with his hand banaged with 2 pins sticking out of the top of the 2 fingers. Really yuk.


Oh wow...pins in the end of fingers...cutting parts off and then reattaching them...He sounds a little accident prone  I have one like that...I have to watch that he doesn't unintentially hurt himself or his siblings...bull in a china closet...


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Neversleepsawink;) said:


> When I was younger (17 I think) my dad brought home pizza. He made sure to bring red pepper flakes too, that had been packed in small clear containers. I went to pour the pepper on my pizza when I heard "Snap, crackle, and pop", and no I wasn't eating Rice Krispies. I looked down to see maggots sizzling on the pizza. Apparently they were in the red pepper flakes, the other little containers were full of them. I don't have a fear of any insect or crawling creature, except for maggots! SO GROSS!!! Hot pepporoni maggot pizza, thank goodness I heard them sizzling or I might have bit into it.


O.k. M....m....mmmmm......I can't even type it. That story has taken the prize for me so far just because of the mmmm...mmmm...oh, I give up


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

pawlaw aka MXCIX said:


> O.k. M....m....mmmmm......I can't even type it. That story has taken the prize for me so far just because of the mmmm...mmmm...oh, I give up


Yes it was really gross, I'm afraid to look in any containers now.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Ok, here is another gross story.  It doesn't beat my maggot popping pizza...however it is pretty gross.  When I was 12 my sister (9 years old) and I had the flu.  We thought we were over the flu when we indulged in a new thing called Hot Flaming Cheetos with bean burritos for lunch.  My mom wanted to go buy dinner stuff so we went with her to Ralphs (grocery store).  My mom started to load the stuff on the convayer belt when my sister said "I don't feel so good.  Blah Split Splat!"  Yes, she threw up a never ending river of bean burrito with flaming cheetos all over the coveyer belt.  The cashier had it running so it was caught under the belt.  It was all over the food and belt, cleaning it up was sick.  I still never eat Hot Cheetos!


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

I want to know where you were shopping. . . .I will never shop there.  

Ann


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## Michael R. Hicks (Oct 29, 2008)

Oh, dear. I saw this thread and figured, "Hey, this has my name written all over it from when I was a kid..." I'll only relate one incident here, although I have a lot of others (unfortunately!)...

Just for a bit of background, I think my parents were trying out for the Noah's Ark competition: they raised Weimaraner dogs, Arabian horses, plus we had chickens, ducks, salamanders, gerbils, and a goat (hey, don't ask me: I just lived there!). 

Onward: One of the foals had an intestinal hernia that hung down a bit from her navel. It wasn't an imminent problem, but was something that needed to be treated so she wouldn't run the risk as an adult of having an intestinal rupture (and yes, you can imagine part of what's coming). The vet we had at the time was fine at treating the run-of-the-mill ailments, but he - unbeknownst to us - was totally out of his league with this. He attached a clamp to the hernia, and over the next couple of weeks tightened it down to pinch off the hernia.

Unfortunately, the idiot caught a piece of the filly's intestine in the clamp. One fine evening my mom can pounding in from the corral shouting at dad that the clamp had come off, and half of the horse's gut had followed suit. Dad charged out and I followed him (I wasn't old enough to help in this situation, but you can't exactly sit around watching Lost in Space while something like this is going on).

So for the next half hour until the first of what turned out to be every horse vet from fifty miles around arrived, my dad stood out in the corral holding this poor filly (I can't remember how old she was, but she probably weighed a good three hundred pounds) up out of the dirt while trying to keep the rest of her innards where they were supposed to be. Bare-handed. After nine hours of operating, the veterinary team was just stitching her closed when she stopped breathing, and that was that.

For me, the most poignant part of this memory wasn't the gross part that happened to the horse (which was terribly sad), but the courage and physical strength that my dad had to do what he did, keeping that horse on her feet as she bucked and kicked, literally holding her together all that time. In the eyes of a kid who was maybe ten or twelve, he seemed like Superman...


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Neversleepsawink;) said:


> Yes, she threw up a never ending river of bean burrito with flaming cheetos all over the coveyer belt. The cashier had it running so it was caught under the belt. It was all over the food and belt, cleaning it up was sick. I still never eat Hot Cheetos!


Oh, I would have a hard time holding onto my...well, never mind. You see, for me, it's the smell....well, never mind...


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Kreelanwarrior - First, I have to say that I'm so sorry you lost the horse.  And, your dad was a superhero!

second - I just finished In Her Name - great book.  I normally wouldn't read science fiction, but did on the recommendation of folks here and to my pleasant surprise, I thoroughly enjoyed it!  Taking a break before I read any more of his books, though.  Reading something a little lighter right now...then I'll dive in again.  

Oh, Kreelan's story reminded me of a friend of mine who was helping a mare on his farm deliver and she was having trouble.  He ended up covered head to toe in horse poo.  His wife threw all of the clothes he was wearing away...she just couldn't put them in her only laundry machine.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Ann in Arlington said:


> I want to know where you were shopping. . . .I will never shop there.
> 
> Ann


Its a Ralphs in Monrovia, CA I believe....it might be Duarte....it was awhile ago. LOL!


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## Michael R. Hicks (Oct 29, 2008)

pawlaw aka MXCIX said:


> Kreelanwarrior - First, I have to say that I'm so sorry you lost the horse. And, your dad was a superhero!


Yeah, raising animals is a very bittersweet experience...!



> second - I just finished In Her Name - great book. I normally wouldn't read science fiction, but did on the recommendation of folks here and to my pleasant surprise, I thoroughly enjoyed it! Taking a break before I read any more of his books, though. Reading something a little lighter right now...then I'll dive in again.


Great - glad you enjoyed it! That's one thing that's been a lot of fun with In Her Name - seeing folks who normally wouldn't read sci-fi/fantasy stories enjoying the book. And yeah, it's not a light read, so you deserve a break - just keep in mind that the next book should be out (I hope) this summer. 



> Oh, Kreelan's story reminded me of a friend of mine who was helping a mare on his farm deliver and she was having trouble. He ended up covered head to toe in horse poo. His wife threw all of the clothes he was wearing away...she just couldn't put them in her only laundry machine.


Oh, yeah. Been down that road, too... LOL!


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## bookfiend (Feb 22, 2009)

honyock said:


> Getting ready to go play tennis many years ago, I pulled out a water container with a pump top - depress the pump and water would come out a spigot, into a cup or your mouth. I filled it, then decided to test it to make sure it was in good working order.
> 
> So, I put my mouth under the spigot, and pumped. Nothing. It seemed to be jammed. So I pumped, this time a little harder. Still nothing, still seemed to be something in the way. So, stupidly, I pumped one more time, even harder. And out of the spigot and into my mouth dropped (or was projected at a very high speed), a live roach. A live, very big roach.
> 
> ...


WAY WORSE THAN MAGGOTS the m.... 's didn't actually end up IN mouth. Roach IN Mouth!!!! legs moving, anteni ......must stop visual


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## mwvickers (Jan 26, 2009)

bookfiend said:


> WAY WORSE THAN MAGGOTS the m.... 's didn't actually end up IN mouth. Roach IN Mouth!!!! legs moving, anteni ......must stop visual


At least Sam didn't bite down. That crunch would have been horrible.

What was it Timon loved in _The Lion King_? The "crunchy, cream-filled kind"?


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

mwvickers said:


> At least Sam didn't bite down. That crunch would have been horrible.
> 
> What was it Timon loved in _The Lion King_? The "crunchy, cream-filled kind"?


Lol...so close to biting into the "crunchy, cream-filled kind." Nothing like the music of maggots sizzling *shudders*


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## Michael R. Hicks (Oct 29, 2008)

Neversleepsawink;) said:


> Lol...so close to biting into the "crunchy, cream-filled kind." Nothing like the music of maggots sizzling *shudders*


Hey, it's just a little extra protein!


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

kreelanwarrior said:


> Hey, it's just a little extra protein!


My stomach officially hurts now...LOL!


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## mwvickers (Jan 26, 2009)

Neversleepsawink;) said:


> My stomach officially hurts now...LOL!


I've heard that maggots can settle an upset stomach...or is that upset a settled stomach?


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

OK, here's one.

Many years ago I had to go work in a different city for about a week.  The hotel bungled my reservation and I found myself without a room for one night.  There were two major conventions in town at the same time, and no other hotels had anything available.    

I had one friend in town, a guy who was renting a single room in someone else's house, so I couldn't stay there.  But his office had a couch in it, and he said I could sleep there as long as I was out by the time the first employees arrived in the morning.  Not a problem since I had to leave for my work early too.

So I showed up shortly before he left work, since there was no way for me to get into the building after hours.  I brought along my carry-out dinner and my little suitcase, and made myself at home, assuring him I'd leave everything as I found it and would be out by seven in the morning.

Well...  that carry-out dinner was "off", somehow, because three hours later I woke up with an urgent need for a sink, toilet, bucket.. anything...  I raced down the long hall to the restroom and made it to the door with seconds to spare, only to find that the evening cleaning crew had locked the door.  Presumably the first person arriving in the morning unlocked it again.   So I tossed my cookies in the carpeted hallway of a fancy, expensively-decorated office suite.  And there was no running water available, no drinking fountain, no bottled water...  no mops or paper towels...    and then half an hour later, round two happened in my friend's office next to the couch.  I knew the coffee shop downstairs opened at 7 also, and figured I could go there and get cleaning supplies (and get myself cleaned up) and take care of the mess before too many people arrived, but I'd have to wait until at least one person was there to let me back into the office.  

That turned out to be the boss, unfortunately.


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Ok, last year I stayed at a hotel in New Mexico...which got 3 stars out of 4...so I expected it to be kind of nice.  I ran the shower very hot to help kill any germs that may of been in that shower before my son got in it.  As I was waiting for the shower to warm up I noticed red drips on the mirror, it was blood!!!  Blood was dripping down the mirror, the heat must of moistened the blood. It looked like a horror movie. I made my son leave the bathroom so he wouldn't have nightmares.  I had my husband bring up the staff they had, they said it was orange paint...they just painted all the bathroom doors and it must of got on the mirrors.  What?  How stupid did they think we were, it was blood....so disgusting.  I know blood when I see it.  They couldn't offer us another room because they were fully booked...what did we get?  10% off!  I will never go back, and now I'm afraid to step into any hotel room and run the water.


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Susan in VA said:


> So I tossed my cookies in the carpeted hallway of a fancy, expensively-decorated office suite. And there was no running water available, no drinking fountain, no bottled water... no mops or paper towels... and then half an hour later, round two happened in my friend's office next to the couch. I knew the coffee shop downstairs opened at 7 also, and figured I could go there and get cleaning supplies (and get myself cleaned up) and take care of the mess before too many people arrived, but I'd have to wait until at least one person was there to let me back into the office.
> 
> That turned out to be the boss, unfortunately.


Nooooooo way! What kind of office doesn't at least have a drinking fountain?!  Modified to change smiley...wrong smiley...


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Neversleepsawink;) said:


> Blood was dripping down the mirror, the heat must of moistened the blood. It looked like a horror movie. I made my son leave the bathroom so he wouldn't have nightmares. it was blood....so disgusting. I know blood when I see it. They couldn't offer us another room because they were fully booked...what did we get? 10% off! I will never go back, and now I'm afraid to step into any hotel room and run the water.


Nuh, unh. :0 You know, I heard somewhere a while back that 3 out of 4 stars does not mean the same thing in foreign countries. Kind a makes you wonder what unseen surprise was all over the rest of the room...ew...


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

pawlaw aka MXCIX said:


> Nuh, unh. :0 You know, I heard somewhere a while back that 3 out of 4 stars does not mean the same thing in foreign countries. Kind a makes you wonder what unseen surprise was all over the rest of the room...ew...


Yes, very disturbing. I sat up in the bed...holding my son in my arms to make sure he didn't touch anything while he slept. Yikes!


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## Chad Winters (Oct 28, 2008)

Neversleepsawink;) said:


> Its a Ralphs in Monrovia, CA I believe....it might be Duarte....it was awhile ago. LOL!


seriously?! She threw up all over a "Ralphs"? LOL, that's too much!!!


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

pawlaw aka MXCIX said:


> Nooooooo way! What kind of office doesn't at least have a drinking fountain?!  Modified to change smiley...wrong smiley...


This was in Germany... drinking fountains are pretty rare there.


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## bookfiend (Feb 22, 2009)

I've been to that Ralph's, alot.


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> seriously?! She threw up all over a "Ralphs"? LOL, that's too much!!!


OH!!! Good one...I did not get it until you mentioned it...how punny


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Susan in VA said:


> This was in Germany... drinking fountains are pretty rare there.


Oh, got it...[smiles sheepishly]...hadn't picked up on the Germany part


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> seriously?! She threw up all over a "Ralphs"? LOL, that's too much!!!


Yes a entire store, lots of throw up  J/K!


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

pawlaw aka MXCIX said:


> Oh, got it...[smiles sheepishly]...hadn't picked up on the Germany part


Wasn't really important to the story.... could have happened anywhere! Except that you're right, in the U.S. most offices would have had a water fountain or a water cooler or *something*.


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Susan in VA said:


> Wasn't really important to the story.... could have happened anywhere! Except that you're right, in the U.S. most offices would have had a water fountain or a water cooler or *something*.


I'm just thinking of my husbands office and the very low pile "carpet" that comes in squares. I don't see how you would be able to clean it up without leaving a smell...you can't get anything out of that kind of carpet, it seems.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

pawlaw aka MXCIX said:


> I'm just thinking of my husbands office and the very low pile "carpet" that comes in squares. I don't see how you would be able to clean it up without leaving a smell...you can't get anything out of that kind of carpet, it seems.


I don't remember what kind of carpet it was, other than light-colored. And the mess was... colorful. And I tried to clean up, but all I had was those brown recycled paper towels that shred when they get wet. I did the best I could, but it was not possible to erase all traces with the materials I had available. My friend who had let me stay there got in a certain amount of trouble over it.


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## honyock (Oct 29, 2008)

pawlaw aka MXCIX said:


> Oh NOOOOOOO! I don't know what I would have done...actually, heart attack comes to mind. I don't know if I want to even think about the feeling of that thing crawling inside my mouth...


I know. I still can't think about it too much, because all the sensations are still vivid, all these years later. It was just the...crawliness of it.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

honyock said:


> I know. I still can't think about it too much, because all the sensations are still vivid, all these years later. It was just the...crawliness of it.


I'd still be having nightmares from that.


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## honyock (Oct 29, 2008)

mwvickers said:


> At least Sam didn't bite down. That crunch would have been horrible.


Oh...oh. Oh.

Oh, me.


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

honyock said:


> I know. I still can't think about it too much, because all the sensations are still vivid, all these years later. It was just the...crawliness of it.


O.k. I used to smoke in college (I don't anymore ;0). I had a sunglasses case that was rather large and I used to put my cigaretts (sp?) in their package inside this case to prevent my purse or bag from smelling. I know, weird. Anyway, I opened the case one day after having it closed for a pretty long time and a roach (about 1 to 2 inches long...no kidding) leaped out. AAAAAGGGGHHH! It's a good think my blood pressure is normally pretty low...I still get the cold sweats thinking about it and I'm a LOT older now 

I was told that roach eggs [edited to include the fact that I have no idea how roaches start out life...larvae?] (and other things) can get into the tobacco...do you think, possibly, that this thing grew up inside my glasses case?! No, surely not...


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

pawlaw aka MXCIX said:


> O.k. I used to smoke in college (I don't anymore ;0). I had a sunglasses case that was rather large and I used to put my cigaretts (sp?) in their package inside this case to prevent my purse or bag from smelling. I know, weird. Anyway, I opened the case one day after having it closed for a pretty long time and a roach (about 1 to 2 inches long...no kidding) leaped out. AAAAAGGGGHHH! It's a good think my blood pressure is normally pretty low...I still get the cold sweats thinking about it and I'm a LOT older now
> 
> I was told that roach eggs [edited to include the fact that I have no idea how roaches start out life...larvae?] (and other things) can get into the tobacco...do you think, possibly, that this thing grew up inside my glasses case?! No, surely not...


And that little episode is what made you quit smoking, right?


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Susan in VA said:


> And that little episode is what made you quit smoking, right?


Uhhh, sadly no.  I never was an avid smoker. I just quit cold turkey when I graduated because well, it was just time to not smell like an ash tray all the time


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

pawlaw aka MXCIX said:


> Uhhh, sadly no.  I never was an avid smoker. I just quit cold turkey when I graduated because well, it was just time to not smell like an ash tray all the time


Well, good for you! Congratulations on quitting!


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

thank you bunches!


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## Angela (Nov 2, 2008)

Today was just another typical morning in the Wayt household.... NOT!

Alarm went off at 6:15am, hit the snooze a couple of times, rolled out of bed at 6:45... Brushed hair, brushed teeth, got dressed... Brewed a cuppa joe, sat down at dining table to enjoy the view of our backyard while waiting for niece to finishing getting ready for school... Picked up purse, cell phone & coffee then headed for the garage... Opened garage door, closed garage door, began searching for large sharp metal object... Found the garden hoe, went out front door around to garage, killed snake!    This all happened around 7am this morning and I am still in awe that I was able to calmly handle the situation. I just went outside to take a picture of it and I think it is finally catching up with me!! My hands are now shaky and my stomach has butterflies! I HATE snakes and am usually deathly afraid of them.

The snake in question is a "baby" broadband copperhead... but not baby enough!! It had already lost its baby coloring on its tail and looks exactly like the adult snake.  I guess this isn't exactly a "gross" story, unless of course you count the blood and snake guts on my driveway!!   

I still haven't gotten the nerve to go back out and dispose of it!


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## Angela (Nov 2, 2008)

Here is a picture of this morning's kill... note the numerous bloody hoe marks on the concrete... guess you could say there was a bit of "overkill" taking place!! I just wanted to make sure it would never move again or grow any larger!


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Angela said:


> Here is a picture of this morning's kill... note the numerous bloody hoe marks on the concrete... guess you could say there was a bit of "overkill" taking place!! I just wanted to make sure it would never move again or grow any larger!


Wow, Angela! That's a big snake by my standards...the fact that the middle of the snake is actually larger than the ends of the snake means, to me, it's officially a large snake. You go girl!


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## Angela (Nov 2, 2008)

It is actually bigger than I thought it was at 7am this morning! I looked at it and thought "it's just a baby, I can do this" and took care of it. When I went out to take the picture a while ago, I realized that it is 12-14 inches in length. The adult snake averages 18-24. I found a dead one in the pool skimmer last week that was about 8 inches.

I just got a call from one of our HOA board members and they are sending someone today to mow the empty lot next door, so maybe my snake sightings will lessen!


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## crebel (Jan 15, 2009)

Eeww Angela, what a way to start the day!  The story may not have qualified for the grossest story, but the picture sure wins.  Glad you are safe and hope your day has calmed down!


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## Angela (Nov 2, 2008)

crebel said:


> Eeww Angela, what a way to start the day! The story may not have qualified for the grossest story, but the picture sure wins. Glad you are safe and hope your day has calmed down!


Thanks crebel. I am just glad that no one stepped on it this morning. We were both in flip flops! The full effect didn't really hit me until about lunch time, but now that the shakes and butterflies are gone I am better! The empty lot (where I am sure the snakes have been coming from) is now mowed. All I need now is for someone to come remove the snake from my drive!! I can't believe I could actually kill it and now be too freaked out to throw it into the woods!


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## tessa (Nov 1, 2008)

Angela;
I'm so glad I live on Long Island all I have to worry about is high taxes, muggers and being stick on the Long Island Expressway during rush hour.  I could never do what you did this morning.

Tessa


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

Not the grossest (I'll spare you that one):

Years ago, I went to a high school follies at my cousin's school and one of the skits was:

About a dozen people were lined up across the stage; the first person had a stool in front of him and placed on it were the following items:
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 large clear glass of water
1 large clear empty glass

The student proceeded with the on-stool products and brushed, rinsed and spit into the empty cup.  He then placed the stool in front of the next student; who repeated the exact same process with the SAME toothbrush (yuck) and he too, placed the stool in front of the next person in line.  This continued with the same brush; down the line.

THE LAST PERSON IN LINE:  Brushed, rinsed, spit....AND THEN...DRANK THE CONTENTS OF THE SPIT CUP with the entire line's spit!!!


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

they were all boys weren't they. . . . . .

Ann


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## Chad Winters (Oct 28, 2008)

sjc said:


> Not the grossest (I'll spare you that one):
> 
> Years ago, I went to a high school follies at my cousin's school and one of the skits was:
> 
> ...


How old are you!?
That had to be before the the Germ Theory of Disease was formulated! Yuck.. think of the lawsuit they could have now after someone gets sick!


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## bookfiend (Feb 22, 2009)

wow, Angela.  Dont forget to burry the head, they can still bite even after they are dead.


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

That's what I was thinking....I can remember when I was a dental assistant and we didn't always wear gloves.

I'd have to say that follies skit was probably about 30-32 years ago...but it sure stuck in my head!!  I thought it was absolutely disgusting. Bet you wouldn't get anyone to do it now....can you spell    b i r d  f l u??


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## Angela (Nov 2, 2008)

sjc said:


> That's what I was thinking....I can remember when I was a dental assistant and we didn't always wear gloves.
> 
> I'd have to say that follies skit was probably about 30-32 years ago...but it sure stuck in my head!! I thought it was absolutely disgusting. Bet you wouldn't get anyone to do it now....can you spell b i r d f l u??


That was gross... I saw a bunch of kids do that at a church camp once. Just thinking about it makes me gag! 



bookfiend said:


> wow, Angela. Dont forget to burry the head, they can still bite even after they are dead.


That was one of the reasons I went into overkill! He kept raising up with his mouth open and fangs showing!



tessa said:


> Angela;
> I'm so glad I live on Long Island all I have to worry about is high taxes, muggers and being stick on the Long Island Expressway during rush hour. I could never do what you did this morning.
> 
> Tessa


I didn't think I could either! Did kind of make me homesick for Houston, though!


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## Aravis60 (Feb 18, 2009)

bookfiend said:


> wow, Angela. Dont forget to burry the head, they can still bite even after they are dead.


ARGH! That is horrible!


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Chad Winters (#102) said:


> That had to be before the the Germ Theory of Disease was formulated! Yuck.. think of the lawsuit they could have now after someone gets sick!


Even without awareness of germs, that is just plain disgusting. I think that story wins the prize.

Dead snake pictures just make me feel sorry for the snake... it didn't know that was somebody's driveway... but Angela, I think you are very brave, and I don't know what I would have done (well, shrieked in surprise, of course, but after that?)... luckily, in suburban DC I don't think I'll have to find out.


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## Angela (Nov 2, 2008)

If it hadn't been a poisonous snake, I would have left it alone, but I have grandkids that play in my driveway and yard, and there are more people bitten by Copperheads in the state of Texas than any other snake. Sorry, but he had to go!


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

> That had to be before the the Germ Theory of Disease was formulated! Yuck.. think of the lawsuit they could have now after someone gets sick!
> 
> Even without awareness of germs, that is just plain disgusting. I think that story wins the prize.


I remember having the heaves and my cousin asking me if I wanted to leave. I also remember the audience with a collective eeew and then wild with laughter and I didn't find it _one bit funny_. I thought it was absolutely disgusting. Germs...is an understatement. Maybe deep down that's why I became a dental assistant...nah!


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

This is gross, even hard to type.  I went shopping at Walmart, as I was leaving I noticed something long and green on the plastic bag holding my stuff.  Yes, a very long booger!!!!  Just hanging there, my hand nearly resting on it.  I almost threw up.  So gross!


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Angela said:


> If it hadn't been a poisonous snake, I would have left it alone, but I have grandkids that play in my driveway and yard, and there are more people bitten by Copperheads in the state of Texas than any other snake. Sorry, but he had to go!


Makes sense to me... I wouldn't want to get within ten feet of a poisonous one.


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## Angela (Nov 2, 2008)

Neversleepsawink;) said:


> This is gross, even hard to type. I went shopping at Walmart, as I was leaving I noticed something long and green on the plastic bag holding my stuff. Yes, a very long booger!!!! Just hanging there, my hand nearly resting on it. I almost threw up. So gross!


eeewwwww


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## Neversleepsawink;) (Dec 16, 2008)

I was getting so grossed out...who wipes boogers on stuff...so gross!


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

uuuggghhhh  eeeeewww.  Boogy ooogy ooogy.


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## Tangiegirl (Dec 21, 2008)

Oh, what fun!  Your gross stories are all great!  

If I may...

SO and I had been living together for about four or five months. One night (morning really, 3:30ish) I woke to the sound of laughter coming from the (running) shower in the master bath. 

I lay there in bed, trying to imagine what could possibly induce a person to shower in the middle of the night?  Okay.  Several perfectly reasonable possibilities came to mind.  

However, I couldn't think of a single (plausible) explanation for the giggles and occasional muffled howl of laughter still coming from the shower.  It was quite a long shower, too.  I'm thinking WTH?

Seems our yorkie, who slept on a pillow on the headboard (on my side of the bed) had had a bit of an upset tummy.  Not wanting to soil near her bed, she naturally went to the opposite side of the headboard, turned, and divested herself of the offensive material. 

Score one for Wookie!  A direct cranial hit!  

I knew it then.  Any man who could handle being woken out of a sound sleep by a yorkie pooping on his head and LAUGH about it was a keeper in my book. 

Come September of next year, we'll celebrate our Silver.


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## katbird1 (Dec 10, 2008)

I've resisted entering this "zone" for a long time.  But, now that I'm here:
We have a beagle, Felix, who all last summer spent day and night digging up our backyard.  I wasn't really sure exactly what the delicacy was that he was going for, cat poo or   My 6 yr. old granddaughter spent the night and we got up early the next morning to potty the dogs.  My dh, the day before, had pulled the mats from the garage out onto the patio and hosed them off.  These mats came from QVC and are great at holding onto whatever is on the bottom of your shoes.  However, it is nearly impossible to clean them.  He left them out on the patio to dry.  Felix, who usually comes inside to sleep, had not wanted to that night (thankfully) and when Bella and I went outside early that morning, there was a huge mess all over one of the mats, and these mats are quite large.  I couldn't really tell what end of Felix it had come out of, but after a few good gags I grabbed the hose and started trying to hose the mess off.  To my utter shock and disgust, once the blast of water hit, these grayish white worms emerged, hundreds of them!  I couldn't believe these came out of Felix and thought surely they weren't parasites GROWING inside him.  I ran inside, got a sandwich baggie and gingerly zipped one up and took it to my vet.  Turns out they were grub worms!  And, unfortunately, he's back at it again this spring!

Kathy


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

You people with your dog stories make me happy we don't have one.  

Ann


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Tangiegirl, this is too funny  --  and what an....  unusual.... way to know he was "The One"!  

Katbird, I think some people use a whole bunch of chemicals to get rid of the grubs in their yards.  Just think, you're doing it in such an environmentally friendly way...


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## katbird1 (Dec 10, 2008)

Yep, that's one way of looking at it - pun intended!    No way will I use the chemicals since I've got 4 dogs.  Hopefully the 3 that sleep in my bed don't become grubbers.

Kathy


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## bookfiend (Feb 22, 2009)

Tangiegirl said:


> I knew it then. Any man who could handle being woken out of a sound sleep by a yorkie pooping on his head and LAUGH about it was a keeper in my book.
> 
> Come September of next year, we'll celebrate our Silver.


WOW, he is a keeper


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

Tangiegirl said:


> Oh, what fun! Your gross stories are all great!
> 
> If I may...
> 
> ...


Definitely a keeper! This story kind of reminds me of my DH waking up in the middle of the night to our very new (and not yet declawed) ragdoll kitten "kneading" on his chest. He's a hairy guy and somehow she had gotten her claws a little stuck in his hair. I woke up to strange sounds coming from his direction. He had grabbed Jackie and was holding every so gently above his chest. Paul barely kept his cool...there is NO way he would have been able to keep his cool while being pooped upon. Kudos to your DH!!!



katbird1 said:


> I've resisted entering this "zone" for a long time. But, now that I'm here:
> We have a beagle, Felix, who all last summer spent day and night digging up our backyard. I wasn't really sure exactly what the delicacy was that he was going for, cat poo or  My 6 yr. old granddaughter spent the night and we got up early the next morning to potty the dogs. My dh, the day before, had pulled the mats from the garage out onto the patio and hosed them off. These mats came from QVC and are great at holding onto whatever is on the bottom of your shoes. However, it is nearly impossible to clean them. He left them out on the patio to dry. Felix, who usually comes inside to sleep, had not wanted to that night (thankfully) and when Bella and I went outside early that morning, there was a huge mess all over one of the mats, and these mats are quite large. I couldn't really tell what end of Felix it had come out of, but after a few good gags I grabbed the hose and started trying to hose the mess off. To my utter shock and disgust, once the blast of water hit, these grayish white worms emerged, hundreds of them! I couldn't believe these came out of Felix and thought surely they weren't parasites GROWING inside him. I ran inside, got a sandwich baggie and gingerly zipped one up and took it to my vet. Turns out they were grub worms! And, unfortunately, he's back at it again this spring!
> 
> Kathy


Oh, this definitely qualifies as gross. I would not have been successful at containing myself. GAG!


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## sjc (Oct 29, 2008)

Send the grub killer to my house because the real stuff doesn't work!!  We've replaced our lawn twice.  Dogs with keen hearing can actually hear the grubs moving and that's when they start digging them up.  Lhasa Apso's have unbelievable hearing...my late Sophia used to growl at the grass.


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## Susan in VA (Apr 3, 2009)

Hmm, maybe Home Depot and the animal shelter need to talk....


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## sebat (Nov 16, 2008)

When I was in college, my boyfriend (now husband) and I went to a Night Ranger concert at the fairgrounds.  We were sitting in bleacher type seating enjoying the show.  Out of the blue, the person sitting behind me, who was underage and had been drinking all night, puked right on top of my head and down my back.  I jumped up and in a moment of indecision, was torn between hitting her or making a run for the bathroom.  Running won out when I felt the wetness start to run down my scalp and ooze through my shirt.  As I ran through the crowd, I started stripping my shirt in a panic.  I have always been a fairly modest person but my only thought at that moment was to get it off of me as quick as possible.  I have a vague memory of a security guard trying to stop me by stepping in front of me, the crazy woman running through the crowd in her bra, only to quickly change him mind and get out of my way.  The run for the bathroom felt a lot like that nightmare, where the hallway keeps getting longer and longer and you never get anywhere.  I finally made it to the bathroom and I rinsed my hair in the bathroom sink.  A strange woman came in carrying my boyfriends shirt for me to wear home.  

I worn a brand new shirt to the concert that night.  In hindsight, I should have tossed it in the trash as I walked out the bathroom door.  That shirt hung in my closet for 2 years. I know put it on at least 100 times but was never able to wear it again.  I got queasy every time I put it on.

It has to be grossest moment in my life and the closest I ever came to streaking.


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## katbird1 (Dec 10, 2008)

sebat said:


> When I was in college, my boyfriend (now husband) and I went to a Night Ranger concert at the fairgrounds. We were sitting in bleacher type seating enjoying the show. Out of the blue, the person sitting behind me, who was underage and had been drinking all night, puked right on top of my head and down my back. I jumped up and in a moment of indecision, was torn between hitting her or making a run for the bathroom. Running won out when I felt the wetness start to run down my scalp and ooze through my shirt. As I ran through the crowd, I started stripping my shirt in a panic. I have always been a fairly modest person but my only thought at that moment was to get it off of me as quick as possible. I have a vague memory of a security guard trying to stop me by stepping in front of me, the crazy woman running through the crowd in her bra, only to quickly change him mind and get out of my way. The run for the bathroom felt a lot like that nightmare, where the hallway keeps getting longer and longer and you never get anywhere. I finally made it to the bathroom and I rinsed my hair in the bathroom sink. A strange woman came in carrying my boyfriends shirt for me to wear home.
> 
> I worn a brand new shirt to the concert that night. In hindsight, I should have tossed it in the trash as I walked out the bathroom door. That shirt hung in my closet for 2 years. I know put it on at least 100 times but was never able to wear it again. I got queasy every time I put it on.
> 
> It has to be grossest moment in my life and the closest I ever came to streaking.


Oh my, I wish I hadn't clicked on this so early in the morning! But then again, this story would have been a nightmare no matter what time I read it. Sorry for you, but I'm glad I didn't live that experience. Vomiting in public has always been a fear of mine, never thought of being the recipient of it, except from babies. Yuck 

Kathy


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## katbird1 (Dec 10, 2008)

sjc said:


> Send the grub killer to my house because the real stuff doesn't work!! We've replaced our lawn twice. Dogs with keen hearing can actually hear the grubs moving and that's when they start digging them up. Lhasa Apso's have unbelievable hearing...my late Sophia used to growl at the grass.


I've wondered if Felix could hear them, but being a Beagle, I thought possibly he could smell them. ClaraBelle, my Lhasa Apso, could care less about digging for which I'm very happy, as her furry face would be hard to wash all the time. But does she ever growl - that's her middle name. She is the nastiest sounding dog I've ever had. But I love her, though not many others do!

Kathy


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## Tangiegirl (Dec 21, 2008)

Susan.  Yes, unusual is a good way to put it.  

Bookfiend (love the username!) Yep. How could I not?

Oh, OUCH, pawlaw! Poor hubby!  

Strange, isn't it, how it's almost always the spousal units that are targeted by our furry friends when it comes to painful or humiliating acts?


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

*bump*  I don't have anything new...just putting this out there again to get some new stuff (hopefully) 

beuller (sp?), beuller, beuller...


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## suicidepact (May 17, 2009)

Man, why haven't I seen this thread before now? Thanks everyone for sharing, I will be coming up with mine once I can recall the one that's fit for recounting here.


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## Addie (Jun 10, 2009)

pawlaw aka MXCIX said:


> *bump* I don't have anything new...just putting this out there again to get some new stuff (hopefully)
> 
> beuller (sp?), beuller, beuller...


LOL Oh my gosh these stories are so funny and horrifying at the same time!

I have nothing near as tragic, but I'll give it a go.

It was my Junior year at Texas, and I had just moved into a new apartment. It was a step up from my old one in terms of location, but all the apartments in the new area were much older. Well, I was putting things away in the kitchen when I saw a cockroach. I managed to capture it in a cup and threw it outside. I hate the sound they make when you step on them, so I always just throw them away. Well, then I came across another cockroach in my kitchen a few days later, but I didn't get it in time. I was super upset, but the office said they sprayed often. And a college friend who lived in the same apartment never had a cockroach incident. Well, I didn't have much furniture since the last place I had stayed at was fully furnished. So until I went furniture shopping, it meant I was sleeping on the floor. I had this horrible thought that a cockroach would crawl on me while I was sleeping *shudder*, so I got one of my big towels and started stuffing it under the bedroom door at all times to keep the little monsters out.

Well, I went to take a shower one morning, and I didn't have my contacts in yet. My shower curtain at the time was an orange colour (go figure), and so it left the inside of the shower dark. I started taking a shower when I noticed a blurry black thing scurrying in the shower. I looked again and couldn't see anything, and then I saw it dart toward me. I screamed, pulled back the curtain, jumped out, and put on my glasses. Yep. I took a shower with a giant cockroach. It was the biggest cockroach I had ever seen. I don't even remember what I did after that. It's best to just block out traumatizing moments. 

A few days later I moved out. Well, in my bedroom there was this big plastic bag that had contained my lamp that I hadn't gotten around to picking up. When I picked it up, there was a dead cockroach under it. The towel did nothing.  I'm just glad it didn't get far enough to attack my face while I slept.


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## kindle zen (Mar 18, 2009)

some years back my grandma who was suffering from alzheimer's had a tendency to make life "interesting".  one day i noticed the bathroom sink was draining slowly and i could feel something pretty large and soft a few inches down.  the drain had a metal X a few inches below the drain hole to stop large objects from going down.  with some effort i managed to reach my fingers in far enough to remove the object.  i examined the object in my fingers but couldn't figure out what it was...till i sniffed it...obviously  grandma had deposited a poop in the sink instead of the toilet.


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

AddieLove said:


> LOL Oh my gosh these stories are so funny and horrifying at the same time!
> 
> I have nothing near as tragic, but I'll give it a go.
> 
> ...


Oh, NO! Icky cockroaches! 


kindle zen said:


> some years back my grandma who was suffering from alzheimer's had a tendency to make life "interesting". one day i noticed the bathroom sink was draining slowly and i could feel something pretty large and soft a few inches down. the drain had a metal X a few inches below the drain hole to stop large objects from going down. with some effort i managed to reach my fingers in far enough to remove the object. i examined the object in my fingers but couldn't figure out what it was...till i sniffed it...obviously grandma had deposited a poop in the sink instead of the toilet.


O.k. Did anyone else think this rivals some of our best gross stories? Maybe it's just me, but this got me...really got me....


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## Addie (Jun 10, 2009)

pawlaw aka MXCIX said:


> O.k. Did anyone else think this rivals some of our best gross stories? Maybe it's just me, but this got me...really got me....


Oh, yes. That one was really gross. The hurling at Ralph's is worse I think because of the public embarrassment and the idea of maintenance trying to clean it up, but this one definitely wins second for me.


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## MrTsMom (Jun 13, 2009)

When my son was about to leave for Basic Training (Air Force) family came from all over the country for his send-off party. My daughter came from Idaho, along with her baby and husband. My son-in-law is an obsessive-compulsive, germ-aphobic, dog-hater. But, he loves my daughter, so I try to overlook these things as much as I can.

That night we had a big send-off party for Mike. When our family gets together we generally do a pot-luck kind of thing. I was bringing a chocolate chip cheese cake, with a chocolate glaze topping. Shortly before we were to go, I came into the kitchen, and there was Miss Shelby, one of my golden retrievers, paws up on the counter, and she had just started licking the chocolate glaze on my cheesecake! Oh, I was hot. I stared at the cake for a few seconds, and then figured, what the heck. I got out a knife and smoothed it all over and it looked fine. And so, I took it. And, people ate it. And they raved about it.

After we got home, my son-in-law (the obsessive-compulsive, germ-aphobic, dog-hater one) was going on and on about how my cheesecake was the best dessert there, while eating another slice.

Like I said, what he don't know...

Brenda (mother-in-law from hell)


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## pawlaw aka MXCIX (Dec 17, 2008)

MrTsMom said:


> When my son was about to leave for Basic Training (Air Force) family came from all over the country for his send-off party. My daughter came from Idaho, along with her baby and husband. My son-in-law is an obsessive-compulsive, germ-aphobic, dog-hater. But, he loves my daughter, so I try to overlook these things as much as I can.
> 
> That night we had a big send-off party for Mike. When our family gets together we generally do a pot-luck kind of thing. I was bringing a chocolate chip cheese cake, with a chocolate glaze topping. Shortly before we were to go, I came into the kitchen, and there was Miss Shelby, one of my golden retrievers, paws up on the counter, and she had just started licking the chocolate glaze on my cheesecake! Oh, I was hot. I stared at the cake for a few seconds, and then figured, what the heck. I got out a knife and smoothed it all over and it looked fine. And so, I took it. And, people ate it. And they raved about it.
> 
> ...


oh, you're BAD


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