# Who loves drabbles?



## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Regular readers of mine will know that I love drabbles. I love writing them and I enjoy reading them as well. For those of you that don't know a drabble is a story that is exactly 100 words long (not including the title). For a writer they're a fun challenge trying to tell a story in so few words.

Mike Cook has setup a website where people can discover new drabbles to read, it's also a place where writers can submit drabbles (although that is by invitation only to start with). You can see my profile on the site at:

http://drablr.com/mbrookes

Feel free to visit, vote on your favourite drabbles and leave a comment.

The site is in it's early stages, so there's still development to be done, but it's always great to get in first while something is new.

I hope to see you there!


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Here's my latest drabble (100 word story), it's also posted on www.drablr.com which is a great place to discover new drabbles. Thanks as always to Rosen for posting this in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (http://www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk/) another great places for drabbles and book bargains too!

Skin Deep

Some people claim that beauty is only skin deep. I scoff at such a foolish notion. Is the treasured Christmas gift special because of the shiny paper? Of course not. Certainly it provides a pleasing presentation, but once you get underneath you discover the real beauty.

It isn't easy; it takes a practised eye to appreciate the form, the shine, the texture of the muscle. Only with the proper study can you marvel at the delicate marbling of fat and meat. Enjoy the skin, peel it back carefully so that you don't spoil the treasure.

And the taste. Oh the taste.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Happy first birthday for the drabble spot on Indie Book Bargains!

It was their newsletter that spaked my love for drabbles:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/drabbles-i-love-them-anyone-familiar.html


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Hi, Michael!

I've joined Drablr also, here's one of mine:

*Fido's Bits*

"Mum?"
"Yes, Michael?"
"Why did you take Fido to the vet last week?"
"He had to have his nails cut."
"But Dad said the vet took his knackers off."
"Great."
"What?"
"Nothing, Michael."
"Dad also said Fido is a eunuch now. Eunuch sounds like a fawn or a pixie, I think I'd like to be a eunuch."
"Michael, you do not want to be a eunuch, okay?"
"But could I be?"
"No."
"Are you sure, Mum?"
"You could, but you'd have to have some of your bits off."
"My bits?"
"Your 'boy' bits."
"Umm... would that be painful?"
"Ask Fido."


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## nico (Jan 17, 2013)

Funny, i just found out about these yesterday. In the past, Jocelyn has written a bunch of 55-word stories, some of which were published in a now-defunct magazine. I'll have to let her know about drabbles. She loves these kinds of challenges.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Halloween has come early in M R Gott's Halloween Bash on his blog 'Where the Dead Fear to Tread', as part of the month long celebrations of all things dark and fearful I have written some exclusive drabbles (100 word stories) that have featured in a guest post.

Go and check them out here:

http://wherethedeadfeartotread.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/halloween-bash-with-michael-brookes.html


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest Tales of the Imp drabble has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (if you don't subscribe then check out the site here: http://www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk/ as well as a daily drabble you also get the hottest daily Kindle bargains), I've copied the drabble below.

If you'd like to read the complete series of the Imp then visit his page here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

There's now a Facebook group dedicated to drabbles, come and like the page here:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/drabbles

Wishing on a Star

The long walk home seemed too normal; I didn't feel like a murderer. It was a cold night, but I barely felt the air's chill. The sky was crisp and full of stars. The Imp danced a merry jig upon my shoulder. He kept congratulating me on a job well done. His shrill little giggle filled my ear.

It took forever to walk home; I kept to the quiet streets, guided by the Imp and kept out of sight from the few people out at this strange hour.

Did I feel regret? Not then, that would come, but not yet.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

I've posted an article on my blog with some hints and tips for writing drabbles:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/writing-drabbles.html


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest in the murder drabbles series has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (thanks Rosen), you can also recive a daily does of delicious drabbles via the Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/drabbles

If you haven't read the rest of the Murder Drabbles series yet then you can do so here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/murder-drabbles.html

And now for the drabble...

Oops I did it Again

I need to control this impulse for murder, for the second time I have killed without forethought. Even amidst the rush a voice deep inside admonishes me that I will be caught if I am not more careful.

That sensible part is correct, but the feeling at the moment of death is beyond anything in human experience. It is rapture, kissing that last breath brings me an understanding of every truth.

A truth that the world exists only for me.

The nagging voice doesn't silence though and now what am I to do with the body in this public place?


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Welcome to the first in my new series of drabbles called 'Drabble Classics', in this series I will be celebrating classic books in drabble form. The first in this series is my favourite story ever written, John Milton's 'Paradise Lost', if you'd like to know why this is my favourite story then see this old blog post of mine:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/paradise-lost-greatest-story-ever-told.html

Paradise Lost

Lucifer's pride sparked rebellion against God and by the Messiah's might he was cast far from Heaven's light. Renamed Satan he declared that to rule in Hell suited better than to serve in Heaven.

With envious eyes he watched creation and he beheld two beautiful creatures, clothed only in their innocence and bathed in God's love.

In serpent form he sneaked into the garden and deceived the maiden, convincing Eve to eat the forbidden fruit. Loyal Adam's despaired, yet still joined his wife in sin. From their fall we would wait for the Messiah's return to restore a paradise lost.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

My latest drabble has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (check Rosen's site out here: http://www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk, not only do you get a daily drabble you also receive the latest and hottest Kindle deals!), the drabble is also copied below.

If you're like me and love reading and writing drabbles come and check out the Facebook page dedicated to drabbles:

https://www.facebook.com/drabbles

You can read some of my other drabbles here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

Other People

They say that Hell is other people and with that I completely agree. Only with other people do you suffer deceit, hate and misery from the murky pit that forms social interaction. Alone I remain apart and untouched by the daily horror of the swarm around me.

Yet I see that is not the whole story.

I marvel that others share happiness between each other. I witness the happenings of friendship and love, joys that I will never feel for myself.

And then I wonder, is it other people that bring Hell into my life? Or is it just me?


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest Tales of the Imp drabble has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (check it out the latest Kindle bargains here: http://www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk), if you're looking for a daily drabble dose then check out the drabbles Facebook page here:

https://www.facebook.com/drabbles

If you haven't read the rest of the Tales of the Imp series then you can do so here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

Imp Dating Service

I enjoyed my new job, I now had my own office and that meant more time for writing. I would finally finish my novel. I still suffered from the occasional nightmares, but the Imp soothed my guilt.

That night I arrived home and he instructed me to put on my finest suit, we were going out. He told me that he'd set me up on a date, that every successful man needed a good woman by his side.

My objections didn't stop him, he'd already convinced me to commit murder, making me go on a date wasn't hard at all.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

My latest drabble in the Murder Drabble series has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (you can sign up to the daily newsletter here: http://www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk), I've also copied it below.

If you haven't read the rest of the Murder Drabbles series you can do so here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/murder-drabbles.html

And if you're a fan of drabbles and other forms of flash and short fiction then come and discover more in my Facebook group. Writers are also welcome to show off their work in those forms:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

Going Green

It occurred to me that none of my details like fingerprints or DNA were on record. I became tempted to create an interesting display; she was a fine looking women, even in death. The sensible part of me condemned such foolishness, I didn't kill her to share with others, her death belonged to me alone.

Back to square one then, but the sweet smell of compost sparked an idea. I dragged her limp body towards the scent and found a giant pile of grass cuttings. It felt warm to the touch, even hotter inside and I smiled.

It was perfect.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest in my Drabble Classics series has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (visit www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk to sign up for the daily newsletter and get daily Kindle bargains) and I've copied it below.

The Faust legend is one of the core stories that has been revisited many times and sparked some of the great classics in literature, Goethe's Faust, Thomas Mann's Doctor Faustus and Marlowe's The Tragical History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus being the three that stand out. Of the three Christopher Marlowe's play has always been my favourite and inspired my own novel Faust 2.0.

If you haven't read the rest of the Drabble Classics series then you can do so here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabble-classics.html

The Tragical History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus

Low born, yet studious Faustus earned his fame and his doctorate. Through his wisdom his knowledge became keen and admired, but he wished to know all, to know beyond what mortal man should ever comprehend.

Through the darkest necromancy he agreed a pact for twenty four years of life confirmed and the devil Mephistopheles his to command. Witnessed by Lucifer and with his own blood he signed the deal and the divine warning ignored.

His wisdom now abandoned, he squandered his vast power in trivial concern. One last warning to repent he ignored and his soul tasted flame for evermore.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Beowulf is the latest in my Drabble Classics series where I take classic pieces of literature and recreate them in drabble form. As always the drabbles are posted first in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk) which is a great place for a daily drabble and the latest Kindle bargains.

I first read Beowulf when I was in school, it's a good example of Saxon epic poetry and is considered one of the earliest examples of classic English Literature.

You can read the rest of the Drabble Classics series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabble-classics.html

And now, let's enjoy this classic tale in drabble form:

Beowulf

Three great battles are sung of Beowulf's life, the first in the hall of King Hroðgar where the celebrations angered Grendel who slew many warriors within.

Beowulf wrestled the fell creature and tore off the creature's arm. This caused his second battle, now against Grendel's mother. They fought in her lair under the lake and with a magic sword he beheaded her.

King Beowulf's final battle was against a dragon enraged by a theft from its horde. All but loyal Wiglaf abandoned him and together they slew the dragon, but Beowulf was mortally wounded and buried with the cursed treasure.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest drabble in the Tales of the Imp series has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (you can sign up for the newsletter here: www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk), I've also copied it below.

If you haven't read the rest of the Tales of the Imp series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

The Imp's Christmas Carol

"I am the ghost of Christmas past," the Imp said and I remembered all too many lonely Christmas days without turkey or gifts.

He nodded, "And now your Christmas present." My mind passed over the guilt of the murder and settled on the joy of more money and respect in the office.

"I have brought you the good life and now see your Christmas future." He promised me everything, my book would sell millions, I would marry a lovely woman and all it would cost me is my soul, what every imp wants for Christmas.

I agreed.

Wait a minute!


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest in the Murder Drabbles series has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (check out www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk to sign up for their newsletter) and is copied below.

If you're looking for other short and flash fiction then come on by the Facebook group set up for fans of writers of those forms:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

The rest of the Murder Drabbles series can be found here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/murder-drabbles.html

Keeping Cool

My heart stopped when I saw the two officers standing on my doorstep. I faltered for a moment; I almost succumbed to the urge to flee, but that calm voice deep within me counselled against making any rash decisions.

I listened to it, but my hand still trembled a little as I opened the door. They greeted me with officious politeness and asked if they could come in. In a voice that wasn't my own I asked them why.

Nothing to worry about, just some routine enquiries, a few minutes of my time and they would be gone.

They lied.


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## beccaprice (Oct 1, 2011)

The best drabbles I've ever read were the 5 or 6 at the end of Cryoburn, by Lois Bujold.  It was real rip-your-heart-out stuff.


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## Sean Sweeney (Apr 17, 2010)

Mike Crane, who still lurks from time to time, is an expert at the drabbles.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Feel free to post your own drabbles here, I love reading them as much as writing them 










The latest Tales of the Imp drabble has been posted (Thanks Rosen - check out her Indie Book Bargains site for a daily drabble and Kindle Bargains - www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk), for more drabble fun check out the Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/drabbles

If you haven'tread the rest of the Tales of the Imp series or want to give them another look!) then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

A Drink and a Dance

The Imp is a charming fellow when he wants to be. I don't know how he'd set the date up but he'd chosen well, Lorraine was funny and smart and the girl of my dreams, literally in this case.

I joked, I reminisced and I charmed her with wit I didn't possess. The evening wore on and a piano played slow numbers for lovers to dance the night away to.

The Imp has some moves on him too and I followed his moves to dance like I'd never danced before.

But in the back of my mind I wondered, why?


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Dracula by Bram Stoker is one of the classic vampire stories, although most people will be familiar with the character from the numerous films (my favourite being Gary Oldman's portrayal). Although on the surface it's a horror novel (and for it's time quite a risque one) it is at heart a love story (and nothing wrong with that!). For modern readers it can hard work to read, but it's impact on horror and in particular vampire stories in the past century or so cannot be overstated.

To celebrate this classic novel I have written a drabble based on its plot, if you've not read the rest of the Drabble Classics serie sthen you can do so here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabble-classics.html

Dracula

To Count Dracula's castle Jonathan Harker travelled where he advised the Count and was then condemned to the company of his undead brides.

In London the Count arrived and stalked Jonathan's fiancée Mina and her friend Lucy whom he turned into a vampire. The learned Van Helsing revealed the secrets of nosferatu and with their friends decapitated Lucy thus ending her curse.

Jonathan escaped and after marrying Mina returned to London and joined with their friends. Eventually they faced Dracula at the gates of his castle. After a desperate battle they slew the vampire and freed Mina from his bondage.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

H. G. Wells' science fiction novel The War of the Worlds remains one of my favourite science fiction reads. It captures the imagination in a way that has inspired many other alien invasion stories since its release at the end of the 19th century.

If you haven't read the other drabbles in the Drabble Classics series then you can do so here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabble-classics.html

And now here is my drabble tribute to this classic novel:

The War of the Worlds

From Mars the invaders came, I approached the site alongside a crowd. They were incinerated by the heat ray and the few survivors fled.

A giant tripod was constructed and left the pit, London's defences collapsed and a mass exodus began. I purchased tickets to escape by sea, but war machines arrived. The Thunder Child's sacrifice enabled my wife to escape on the steamer.

More cylinders landed and red weed choked the land. I returned to London where I charged a war machine, expecting to be slain but it was already dead, killed by the lowest of all Earth's creatures.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest Tales of the Imp drabble has been posted in today's Indie Book Bargains newsletter (you can sign up to the newsletter on their website: www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk). If you haven't read the rest of the Tales of the Imp newsletter you can do so here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

Fans of the Imp can read his origin story in the Off the KUF anthology, available from Amazon here:

US: http://amzn.to/1fbJHXv
UK: http://amzn.to/1cxm9ib

A True Gentleman

Like all good things that amazing first date came to an end, my usual nervousness returned as I escorted her home. Should I kiss her? The Imp said yes and so we kissed and she tasted of strawberries, which was unexpected but not unpleasant.

She invited me in and I was very much up for that idea, but the Imp said no. A bit unfair I thought, but he seems to know best, keep her keen for next time was his advice.

Besides I had some test to undergo before I first mated, I wonder what he meant by that?


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest drabble in the Murder Drabbles series has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (you can sign up for the newsletter on their website: www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk).

If you haven't read the rest of the Murder Drabbles series then you can do so here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/murder-drabbles.html

Questions

The police were full of questions, no great surprise there I guess, it is what they do after all. I wasn't prepared for them though.

Where was I on the night in question? That was the big one, I hedged my bets saying I wasn't sure. I needed to know what they knew before I committed to a response. Not my smartest play, that only made them suspicious.

It might have been better to say nothing at all, but it's too late for that now. The one in plain clothes frowns and tells me that I must come with them.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest in the Drabble Classics series has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (you can subscribe on their website for a daily drabble and Kindle bargains: www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk), in this drabble I celebrate an author who is considered by many to be the father of science fiction and that is Jules Verne and picking which book of his to feature was hardly a choice at all!

If you haven't read the rest of the Drabble Classics series then you can do so here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabble-classics.html

Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea

A mysterious beast strikes upon the high seas and an expedition hunts down the creature. During the battle three crew are lost in the waves. They discover no monster, instead a vessel of unusual manufacture.

They meet Captain Nemo, the master of the Nautilus, a submarine constructed with cunning artifice to explore the oceans deep. On a grand voyage they witness marvels hidden beneath the waves, battle against giant squid and sink a ship from Nemo's exiled land.

In a depression he sails for the sea's own storm and the three find freedom as the Nautilus vanishes off Norway's shore.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

My latest standalone drabble has been posted in today's Indie Book Bargains newsletter, you can sign up for the daily newsletter on their website: www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk.

For fans of drabbles and other forms of short fiction you can join the Facebook group I've set up, it's also a good place for writers to show off their work in those forms.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

You can read my other drabbles here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabble-classics.html

Just One Question

The penitent knelt with her head bowed in the confessional. The dark wood shrouded her in forbidding shadow as she waited in expectant silence. She'd never had to wait for so long after confessing her sins, although she'd worked really hard at them for this occasion.

Eventually the priest's stern voice filtered through the latticed divider.

"You have sinned against the church, sinned against your family and most importantly, you have sinned against yourself. Your penance will be most severe."

The penitent smiled.

"Will it hurt Father?"

And then in a more plaintive tone.

"Will it hurt just a little?"


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest drabble in the Tales of the Imp series has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (you can sign up for the newsletter here: http://www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk).

You can also read the rest of the Tales of the Imp here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

A Trip to the Doctor

I arranged our second date, an intimate dinner in a fine downtown restaurant. I wanted to taste strawberries again. I didn't know if I could wait two days, but the Imp convinced me to play it cool and not appear too eager, not yet.

He also told me that I had a doctors appointment. When I arrived the nurse told me they needed a sample and handed me a small plastic bottle. I asked her why I had to pee in a bottle and she looked at me confused.

They didn't want a urine sample, they wanted a semen sample.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest drabble in the Murder Drabbles series was posted yesterday in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (you can sign up for the newsletter here: http://www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk). If you haven't read the rest of the series then you can do so here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/murder-drabbles.html

Alone in a Cell

Before I knew it I'd been processed and deposited in a cell, I'd never seen the inside of a cell before. I wasn't impressed, but I was a little intimidated. I guess that was the point, they left me alone for over an hour.

In that time I worried about what they knew, did they know everything?

The two parts of me wrestled between having nothing to worry about to assuming that I was now condemned. Slowly though the cold part, the sensible part gained the upper hand and when the cell door finally opened I was ready for them.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

No Matter How Deep has been chosen as the Drabble of the Week on Drablr.com, check it out here:

http://drablr.com/mbrookes/drabble/bd6/no-matter-how-deep


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

My latest drabble has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (you can sign up at www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk for a daily drabbles and Kindle bargains), I've also posted it below.

You can read my other standalone drabbles here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

And for fans of drabbles and other forms of short and flash fiction come and join the Facebook group I've set up for people to share and discover great stories in those forms:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

Face in the Mirror

I stare at my face in the mirror and I can't be sure that it's really me. My eyes are hunted and bruised from nights of disturbed sleep. A dread has stalked my dreams, twisting them into nightmares that linger even in dawn's embrace.

In the mirror I glimpse a malformed shadow lurking behind me, its touch is cold upon my skin and fills me with terror. My will fails and I fall into the mirror, my final scream frozen in glass.

I gaze at my reflection and admire my new face, I think I'll wear it for a while.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Edgar Allan Poe is one of the great writers of horror, so much so that his writing remains essential reading and not just in a sense of studying the classics, but for fans of the genre as well. Picking one of his pieces wasn't difficult, writing as a drabble was!

The Raven is probably one of Poe's most famous works and also one of my favourite poems, however my talent as a poet is rather limited. I did want to convey the feeling of the poem as well as its narrative in the drabble and that made writing this the hardest drabble I've written so far. I think I managed it and I hope you agree.

If you haven't read the rest of my drabble classics series then you can find them here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabble-classics.html

For a daily drabble as well as the latest Kindle deals and releases sign up for the Indie Book Bargains newsletter here:

http://www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk

The Raven

While reading forgotten lore to escape the loss of Lenore I heard a rap at my door. Another at the window and I admitted the raven and upon Pallas's bust it perched.

To my surprise the bird spoke, but knew only one word. I'm certain that it'll desert me as others had, it said 'nevermore'.

I reasoned that I could forget Lenore, the raven stated 'nevermore'.

So I asked whether I'll see her again and received the same infernal reply. I cursed it back to Hell, but it's my soul trapped in the raven's shadow and will be lifted nevermore.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest Tales of the Imp drabble has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (you can sign up for their newsletter and see the latest bargains here: http://www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk/), as always a big thanks to Rosen for her dedication in supporting other indie authors!

If you haven't read the rest of the drabbles then you can read all of them here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

The Imp's origin story can be found in the Off the KUF collection of stories, you can buy it from Amazon here:

http://amzn.to/1k9Z1UJ

Suspect Research

Another wonderful date and you know what, I'd never been so happy, even the Imp seemed pleased for me with his toothy grin flashing in my direction.

He still wouldn't let me consummate the relationship though, he permitted only kissing and some light petting, anymore and he would howl like a werewolf dipped in silver, right in my ear.

Tonight though I couldn't find him, I saw that he'd been on the computer and I expected to see the usual zombie gnome porn, instead found something very different.

Now why would an imp want to read about genetic memory research?


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Welcome to the first drabble in my new series called 'ABC Drabbles of Death', in this series we'll take a wander through the alphabet and I'll write a deathly drabble for each letter. We start at the beginning with 'A is for Axe'.

For drabble fans and of short and flash fiction come and join the Facebook group dedicated to those forms:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

A is for Axe

The silver smile, as sharp as the crescent moon invites me to play. The haft rests naturally in my hands, the weight of the blade is eager to strike. The swing forms a pure moment from start to finish as the blade slams deep into the meat. Its balance doesn't require strength, only the swing.

A scream always accompanies the opening of another smile on the pale flesh. Another arc and another gaping wound. A chorus of screams in synchronicity with the axe.

One last swing and all is silent, the blade no longer silver, but still smiling. In red.


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## vrabinec (May 19, 2011)

beccaprice said:


> The best drabbles I've ever read were the 5 or 6 at the end of Cryoburn, by Lois Bujold. It was real rip-your-heart-out stuff.


Yeah, I thought Cryoburn was pretty good. Better than Blackout which won the Hugo that year (though it wasn't exactly a stellar year for sci-fi. I thought Dervish House deserved to win)


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Welcome to the second in the ABC Drabbles of death series, as can be expected we have reached the letter 'B'. The series will take each letter of the alphabet and I'll write a death themed drabble based on that letter.

If you missed the first in the series - 'A is for Axe' then do not worry, because you will find all of the drabbles from this series on this page:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

If you enjoy reading or writing drabbles (or indeed both!) and other forms of short and flash fiction then come and join the Facebook group I've set up to showcase these bite sized stories:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

And now...

B is for Buried

Smothered in darkness, the air is warm and it's difficult to breath. Where am I? How did I get here? I don't remember! I cry out for help, my voice loud in my ears. The walls press close, I cannot move. The suffocating tomb swallows my frantic prayers.

Exhausted I slip into my personal darkness only to awake in the nightmare once more, the air is warmer and I feel light headed. I'm so weak that I lay in silence. Panic becomes my final companion in the darkness and it will hold me close until the air is no more.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We're up to the letter 'C' in the ABC Drabbles of Death series, in this series I take write a macabre drabble for each letter in the alphabet, if you haven't read the first two drabbles in the series then you can do so here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

For fans and writers of flash and short fiction come and join the Facebook group I've set up dedicated in those forms:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

C is for Cannibalism

Smart meat is my dining delight and I accept no substitute, after all, why restrict yourself to mundane flesh when you can consume the most treasured of delicacies?

Oh I know that people condemn cannibalism as a perversion, but what would they know? Have they filleted the skin from a choice thigh, the skin loose from being hung? How can they not realise how much sweeter the organs taste when you have looked into their eyes and seen the meat's hopes and dreams fade to a glassy stare?

No they do not understand, but I do and I'm not alone.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

This week's ABC Drabble of Death is the letter 'D' and it also happens to be one of my favourite words! If you've missed the previous drabbles then you can read them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

And for fans of drabbles and other forms of short and flash fiction you're welcome to come and join the Facebook group dedicated to these stories:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

And now...

D is for Defenestrate

I love the fact that there is a word that describes the act of throwing someone through a window. It makes life so much more convenient don't you think? Yes I know, you'll have my money by the end of the day, you promise, you swear on the lives of your children.

You might not be a man of your word, but I am.

I warned you and you still didn't pay, so it's time to find out if you can fly. I love it when the rich guys don't pay, do you know why?

They always live in penthouses.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest in the Murder Drabbles series has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (you can sign up for the newsletter here: http://www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk). If you've missed the previous drabbles (a drabble is a story that is exactly 100 words long) then you can read them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/murder-drabbles.html

Keeping the Story Straight

The two detectives questioned me all afternoon, my earlier evasiveness had caught their attention so now I had to placate them with truth.

I told them I'd been in the park, but I hadn't seen anything and that I hadn't said anything because I hadn't known about the murder. I think the fat one intuited that I wasn't saying everything, but I stuck to my story and without evidence they couldn't hold me.

Eventually they let me go, that wouldn't be the end, so I would have to be much more careful the next time I indulged in my delights.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We continue the macabre journey through the alphabet with the latest in the ABC Drabbles of Death series. This week we reach the letter 'E' and while it's an obvious choice it was a lot of fun to write! If you haven't read the previous drabbles in the series then you can read them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

If you hunger for more short stories or flash fiction then I know just the place - come and join the dediacted Facebook group only a click away:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

And now it's time to see what people are made of...

E is for Eviscerate

These days I prefer to use a hook. I started with a knife and that works fine. Too easy for my taste, I like there to be some skill. A hook takes more effort, a good swing to get it in, and then a yank to pull everything out.

There's a knack to not nicking the bowels on the way in, not a pleasant smell if you do I can tell you!

The highlight for me is watching them weep and try to stuff everything back in. How it all ever fit inside is a wonder if you ask me.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest drabble (a 100 word story) in the Tales of the Imp series was posted in Friday's Indie Book Bargains newsletter. Visit www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk to sign up for the newsletter and receive a daily drabble and UK Kindle bargains.

If you haven't read the previous drabbles in the series then you can read them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

If you want to read the origin story for the Imp, you'll find it in the Off the KUF collection of short stories:

http://amzn.to/1nT0qo2

While the Cat's Away

Happy days are here to stay! The Imp departed on secret business, I had the whole night without his interference.

I wore my cleanest shirt; a bit rumpled, but never mind. A splash of aftershave and I was ready. I arrived at the restaurant an hour early, so did she.

Drinks and food passed by in a blur and here we are in the bedroom and oh my word I'm trembling with excitement. She is too; it's going to be amazing. Naked we embrace and an unwelcome shrill voice pipes into my ear.

"What's going on here then?"

Damn him!


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Our deadly march through the alphabet continues and this week I thought I'd avoid the obvious choices. In fact it's almost a whimsical choice! If you've not read the previous drabbles (100 word stories) in this series then you can read them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

And if that isn't enough to satisfy your flash fiction or short story needs then come and join the Facebook group dedicated to those forms and discover some more fantastic reads:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

And now let's find out how dangerous a finger can be...

F is for Finger

I know what you're thinking. A finger can't kill you. How wrong you are! With a finger I can pull a trigger and BANG, you're dead. Okay, that would be cheating. How about this?

A sly diversion and a finger jabbed straight in your eye! I'm nervous on the first attempt, so it'll only hurt a bit. There'll be a struggle so I can get a clear shot and try again. I'll keep jabbing until your eye is a wet mess and I stab through your retina and into your brain.

It's not easy, but a finger can kill you.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

It's a lovely sunny day out there and I've bought a new suit! To celebrate this wonderful day lets take a macabre look at the next letter in our journey through the alphabet. This week's letter is 'G' and it was a tough choice until I remembered a story I was told as a child.

If you've not read the previous drabbles in this series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

And if you're looking for more flash or short fiction to read then come and join the Facebook group dedicated to these forms:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

G is for Grind

As a boy I lived near a quarry. My best friend and I played there whenever we could. We weren't supposed to and we got into so much trouble whenever we were caught!

We didn't stop though. Climbing the huge pile of rock was our favourite game. It wasn't easy with the stones slipping beneath us, but the view from the summit was worth the effort.

We didn't know that the mounds were positioned over trap doors; the rocks would pour through and be ground up into gravel.

I never played there again and Paul never played anywhere ever again.


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## Myrrh (Mar 13, 2011)

Amazing drabbles! I actually just started exploring drabbles & the first one will go up on my site tomorrow (I'll crosspost it to drablr too, which I just joined!).


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Sounds good! Make sure to post here as well!


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

... and one from me:

*Catwalk Capers*

"Nooo! Nooo! Nooo! Noooooooo! Melissa has bloated up like a freakin' airship, she'll never fit into her outfits for the show!" shrieked top designer, Alphonse.
"What happened?" said Emilia Ash, head of top London model agency, Skinny Minnies.
"She had breakfast," said Alphonse. "On catwalk day!"
"Christ! What did the stupid cow eat?"
"A beansprout."
"I've told the girls a thousand times, a glass of champagne with a cocaine chaser, absolutely no solids on catwalk day."
"Remember the good old days?" said Alphonse. "Kate, Helena, Naomi. Those girls were pros, they could live for a month on a f*ckin' cornflake."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Nice one


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## alawston (Jun 3, 2012)

I do the odd drabble. Below is my most recent...

Time Stoppage
by Andrew K Lawston

Red or blue? Wayne Rooney snipped the blue wire, and released a breath he didn't know he was holding. Two minutes left.

Van Persie punched the air. "One more and it's disarmed! Manchester saved!"

Wayne's dextrous fingers blurred over the bomb's spaghetti innards, but he was shaking his head. "No good, I need three more minutes!"

With a soft click, the countdown flashed back to five minutes.

"Impossible! Unless..." Both men turned to the dressing room door, where a figure stood bathed in light.

"I come back to you now," said Sir Alex Ferguson, "at the turn of the tide."

I also deconstructed it in painstaking detail as a kind of, well, masterclass is the wrong word, isn't it... a kind of amateurclass over on my blog http://andrewlawston.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/anatomy-of-drabble.html


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Good link - there's another link for writing drabbles here: http://drablr.com/how-to-write-a-drabble


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

TechnoHippy said:


> Nice one


Many thanks, Michael.

Here's an oldie...

*Young Love... and Stuff*

Mavis, 76, was reading in the appointment room.
Two teenagers sat behind her.
"Oh my god! I was totally in Jason's bedroom last night," said Aleesha.
"Shut up! I'm so jealous," said Kaylee.
"Yeah, I was pulling his shirt off and he was getting my top off."
"Noooo!"
"Yeah, and he said, 'I totally want to have sex with you and stuff'. And I said, 'I totally want you to have sex with me and stuff'."
"Noooo! Did you... do it and stuff?"
"Nah."
Mavis put her book down, she was totally glad that she wasn't a teenager and stuff.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Spiders*

"Mummy?"
"Yes?"
"Do spiders feel pain?"
"Umm... I'm not sure really. I don't think they have a central nervous system, so they probably don't."
"What if mummy spider had an accident? Would daddy spider and baby spider be upset?"
"I dunno... spiders are quite simple. They don't do feelings as such."
"So baby spider wouldn't be too bothered if daddy had an accident too?"
"It probably wouldn't spoil his day, if that's what you're thinking. I'm presuming baby is a 'he' of course."
"Thanks, Mum."
"Why all the questions?"
"Because I've just pulverised three spiders with your meat tenderising hammer."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

A new Thursday and the next letter in the ABC Drabbles of Death series is upon us. For those of you new to drabbles they are stories that are exactly 100 words long. This week we have reached the letter 'H' and it's a bit of a gruesome one!

If you haven't read the rest of the series then you can catch up with all the previous letters here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

We have a special guest star for next week's letter 

If you're looking for more drabbles or other forms of flash and short fiction then come and join this Facebook group. There's a wonderful array of stories to be enjoyed:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

H is for Hacksaw

It's all in the preparation. You can never be too careful. The moment you start sawing the victim will struggle. Man or woman they will scream louder than anything you've ever heard and their strength beyond what you would expect.

We all have this primal instinct you see.

Naturally it takes time to saw through each of the joints and as you might imagine it creates one hell of a mess, but how else could I fit a person in such a small box?

Why not kill them first you might ask. Well where would be the fun in that?


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## Myrrh (Mar 13, 2011)

My first drabble. It was much harder than I thought! http://maryrajotte.com/blog/2014/06/19/spirited-tales-blind-lust/


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Good one, Michael!

Nice first drabble, Mary.

One from me...

*Evil Ted*

"Mum, can I sleep in your bed tonight with you and Dad?"
"Not tonight, Amy, your father is up early tomorrow."
"Aww, Mum!"
"Look, here's Edward Bear for you to sleep with."
"I don't like him anymore."
"Amy! He's been your favourite for years, and Daddy bought that medical kit for him yesterday so now he's Doctor Edward Bear."
"I don't like him."
Amy's mother kissed Amy on the forehead and left her bedroom.
Amy pulled her duvet up, covering her face.
Edward Bear opened the medical kit and selected the trepanning instrument.
For Amy, a boring night lay ahead.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*The Sentinels*

Standing outside of the double doors, I hesitate for a moment. I'm familiar with the scene that awaits me and it chills me to my very core. I push one of the doors open and go inside. The sentinels are still there, emotionless, their digital displays glowing in the half-light. Coloured LEDs wait patiently, ready to alert the knowing to any changes. Sometimes, I want to unplug every damn one of them and just curl up on the floor with my pain, but I can't, because this array of life support machines are the only things keeping my husband alive.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest in the murder drabble series has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (sign up to their newsletter at www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk for a daily drabble fix and the latest Kindle book bargains). If you haven't read the previous drabbles you can find the whole series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/murder-drabbles.html

A Drabble Too Far

The need to kill became physical, more than simple desire. My waking mind tormented by the sweet images of severed throats and spilling guts. The music of screams, I yearned to hear them again, but they would be watching. Fear tempered my desire and a despairing thought reminded me of these drabbles.

These confessions of the acts I'd committed. Who had read them and who would connect them? I couldn't stop though, they were my trophies, my memories of treasured moments. I could no more give up these drabbles than I could killing, I would need to take precautions though.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We see a bit more of the Imp's machinations in the latest Tales of the Imp drabble. If you're not familiar with drabbles then they are a story that is exactly 100 words long. You can read the previous drabbles in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

You can also find the origin story for the Imp (and it is a more traditional short story length) in the Off the KUF anthology, you can find the book on Amazon: http://amzn.to/1fbJHXv

And now let us see what the Imp is up to...

Sharp Scratch

I shouted at the Imp. I demanded to be allowed to make my own choices. He told me that the time had arrived; I needed one more change to become ready. And God help me I asked him what that was.

He showed me a syringe, it looked huge in his tiny hand.

I could have sex that very evening if I let him inject me with his secret concoction. I immediately offered him my arm and he shook his head and pointed down below. I hesitated, but figured it would just be a sharp scratch.

How wrong I was!


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## alawston (Jun 3, 2012)

TechnoHippy said:


> Sharp Scratch
> 
> I shouted at the Imp. I demanded to be allowed to make my own choices. He told me that the time had arrived; I needed one more change to become ready. And God help me I asked him what that was.
> 
> ...


Oh dear, so it wasn't just a little prick?


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

No - it was two 










We reach the letter 'I' in our trip through the alphabet and for this drabble we have a special guest star. The Imp is no stranger to death, although he does have his own unusual methods.

If you want to read the previous drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

And if you're looking for more short and flash fiction to read then come and join the Facebook group dedicated to those forms:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

I is for Imp

The Imp's a tiny fellow; even so he once killed a man in the most horrible fashion I have ever witnessed.

He waited until the poor fellow slept and then superglued his lips and one nostril shut. He waited patiently to make sure that the skin had properly fused.

He then pissed into the man's nostril.

He did it in my ear once and it burns I can tell you!

The man awoke panicked, unable to breath and demon urine flooding his lungs. The glue held firm and I stood amazed that such a tiny creature could piss so much.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

A new drabble (100 word story) of mine has been posted in Indie Book Bargains newsletter (visit their website www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk for a daily drabble and Kindle book bargains). This drabble is the first in a two-parter. You can read my other drabbles on my drabble page here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

And if you're looking for more drabbles or flash and short fiction then come and join the Facebook group dedicated to those forms:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

The Life of a Prayer (Atheist Version)

From my heart comes the pain, a physical burden, too terrible to bear.

From my mind emerges understanding of my suffering and the desire to be whole once more.

From my lips issue the words of my plea, my hopes for a life reborn anew.

Through my ears I hear the words that my lips have spoken.

Through my mind I tease meaning from the memories of the life I have lived.

Through my dreams I ponder the solution to my grief.

Through the passage of time I accept what has gone and what has come and life rolls on.


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## alawston (Jun 3, 2012)

_My latest drabble over on Drablr..._

*INFO-DUMP*

For thirty minutes every morning, John sat down to work on producing his novel. He found it hard, even painful, but he knew his discipline would pay off.

Tears sprang to his eyes as he imagined how wonderful it would feel when the book finally came out.

One morning, he finished creating his masterpiece.

It landed in the toilet with a splash. John stood and looked at it floating in the bowl. A 300 page paperback, embossed cover.

John nodded, and reached for the flush.

He'd always known he had a book in him. Ever since they removed his appendix.

http://drablr.com/alawston/drabble/bv6/info-dump


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The second drabble from the Life of a Prayer pair has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter (Visit http://www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk/ to sign up for the newsletter). The first drabble was the Atheist version and can be found here along with my other dtabbles that aren't part of a longer series:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

Life of a Prayer (Believer Version)

From my heart comes the pain, a physical thing too terrible to bear.

From my mind emerges understanding of my suffering and the desire to be whole once more.

From my lips issue the words of my prayer, my dream for a life reborn anew.

Through God's ears he comprehends the anguish that my lips have spoken.

Through God's great benevolence he provides comfort and hope in a world that has none.

Through God's wisdom I understand a world greater than the darkness around me.

Day by day I am comforted and from grief's long night dawn rises once more.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Nice drabbles from Andrew and Michael there.

*The Sentinels	*

Standing outside of the double doors, I hesitate for a moment. I'm familiar with the scene that awaits me and it chills me to my very core. I push one of the doors open and go inside. The sentinels are still there, emotionless, their digital displays glowing in the half-light. Coloured LEDs wait patiently, ready to alert the knowing to any changes. Sometimes, I want to unplug every damn one of them and just curl up on the floor with my pain, but I can't, because this array of life support machines are the only things keeping my husband alive.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

A cruel twist in that one.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The ABC Drabbles of Death skipped a beat last week, but it's back with a vengence this week as we reach the letter 'J'. This one is another taken from my past and it's what I wonder went through her mind before she jumped. If you haven't read the previous drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

And if you're looking for more short or flash fiction then come and join the Facebook group dedicated to those forms of story telling:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

*J is for Jump*

It's a long way down and at the sight I almost lose my nerve. It's almost funny really. I climbed all the way up here to make sure that the drop would kill me and now I'm afraid of falling.

Maybe this is a sign.

Not that it matters. This is the only choice left to me. My eyes fill with tears, but they are selfish tears for me alone. No-one else will lament for me.

That is the real sign for what must be done. One last moment of pain and then nothing more.

I step off the ledge&#8230;


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

After last week's rather serious ABC Drabble of Death I thought I'd go for something a little more fantastical for the letter 'K' and bring forth an old friend from legend!

If this is your first drabble of death and are wondering what the hell is going on? Don't panic. A drabble is a story which is exactly 100 words long and this series takes each letter of the alphabet in turn and I write a suitably death themed drabble. You can read the previous drabbles in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

And now a beast awakens...

K is for Kraken

From the dark depths it arose.

A thing that should not be. A creature from legend and nightmare. Yet here I stand on the deck of my trawler with today's catch spilling from torn nets. Tentacles of fearsome size crush the boat as if it were no more than a child's toy.

Screams of the crew and the screeching of tortured steel surround me. The spray of the sea and the sweat of my face chill my face.

The trawler snaps in two and victorious against its defenceless foe it drags me and my boat into the sun starved deep.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Any wine connoisseurs on the forum?

*The Wine Class*

"And now, my favourite grape variety - Cabernet Sauvignon," said Nigel. "To me, this grape is the Russell Crowe of the wine world: It has huge presence. It's unpredictable. And it will slap you right in the chops without warning. So, Algenon, let's have your opinion on this Chilean red."
"I'm getting..."
"Yes?"
"I'm getting a head-on collision of blackberries and burnt seagull droppings. I'm getting pan-fried crotchless panties with a hint of badger snot. I'm getting brake fluid, Scottish peat, pungent armpit, and a low note of kippers in tarmacadam sauce."
"Everything but the kitchen sink, eh?" said Nigel.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Nice one from the duck


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest in the Murder Drabbles series has been posted in the Indie-Book-Bargains newsletter (get a daily drabble and Kindle bargains from the website here: www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk). If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/murder-drabbles.html

And if that hasn't satisfied your hunger for short and flash fiction then come and join the Facebook group dedicated to those forms:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

Shiny New Toy

To keep the urges at bay I devoted all my energies into finding the perfect blade. A task which took longer than I expected with so much to consider. It couldn't too small, but if it was too large then where would I conceal it?

And then there was the shape. At first I was drawn by the exotic allure of a curved blade. I imagined it drawn across slender throats. Then I pictured the straight edge of a stabbing blade and I knew my choice had been made.

When it arrives it will be time for my next dance.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest drabble in the Tales of the Imp series has been posted in the Indie book Bargains newsletter (visit www.indie-book-bargains to sign up for a daily drabble and Kindle bargains). If you've not read the other drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

And if you want to read the Imp's origin story then you'll find it in in the Off the KUF Volume One anthology, check it out on Amazon here:

http://amzn.to/1fbJHXv

And now what has the diminutive devil been up too...

*The Morning After the Night Before*

I floated on cloud nine. Naturally I felt exhausted, but in a good way. It wasn't my first time, but I'd never been much of a ladies man. For the first time I'd made love rather than simply having sex.

And in so many different positions as well.

I grinned with joy and later I hoped to return for another evening of delightful discovery. My love had finally found its physical counterpart. This was really it and she most definitely the only woman for me.

"Nice work!" The Imp wore a smile of his own. "And now onto the next."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

The Imp is such a mischievous little fellow!

*You're a What?*

"You're a what?" said the guy sitting opposite me on the train as he peered over the top of his glasses.
"I'm an indie author."
"Right. And that means?"
"It means I do everything myself and self-publish my books in electronic format to Amazon."
"Hmm... no hardcopies of your books then?"
"Nope."
"So you're not a real author?"
"I'm an author and a physical entity, so quite real."
He leaned across and prodded my leg to confirm the latter. "How many books have you written?"
"Seven."
"Any bestsellers?"
"Nope."
"Indie eh?"
"Yep."
"So you're not a real author then?"
"D'oh!"

Feel free to comment on any drabbles. Don't be shy now!


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

All too true


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## alawston (Jun 3, 2012)

My latest is up on Drablr.com now at: http://drablr.com/alawston/drabble/c1w/parlour-games

And for your reading pleasure here:

*Parlour Games*
by Andrew Lawston

Tim felt his knotted shoulders melt into blubber as Fun-Ghee went to work on his oiled torso. She had the delicate hands of a master craftsman. He shivered.

Those hands must have glided up and down his trunk a hundred times before she turned him on his back and breathed into his ear. "Happy ending?"

"Yes," he whispered. "God, yes."

There was a momentary pressure on Tim's chest as she swung her lithe body over him. He felt every inch of her pressing against him as she raised her moist lips to his ear again.

"Reader, I married him."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Nice


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

After a brief hiatus last week the ABC Drabbles of Death series is back. We have now reached the letter 'L' in our deadly journey through the alphabet and I think I've picked an unusual one for this. If you haven't read the other drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

And if you're looking for more drabbles or short fiction then come and join the Facebook group dedicated to those forms. There are some great stories there!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

L is for Light

After so long alone in the dark I never imagined that it would be the light which killed me. For an age I hid from the decision waiting to be made. Instead I lurked alone in the vast unknown before time began.

A sacrifice would be needed so that others might come to be. I feared my death and what would happen next for me. Those yet to come would never comprehend the truth of my choice. Instead they would conjure up strange fantasies to explain the mystery.

Four little words which would change everything forever.

Let there be light.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

A rather philosophical drabble from me in today's Indie Book Bargains newsletter (sign up for a daily drabble and Kindle book bargains at www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk). I also found the perfect painting to accompany it on Wikimedia Commons - a big shout out to the artists cédric sorel - I'd love this hanging on my wall!

If you haven't read my other stand alone drabbles then you'll find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

Giga-thoughts

Everything began with a single thought. A pure singularity of consciousness where nothing existed. That first thought begat another and then more. Time formed to mark the passage of one concept to the next.

A universe created to encapsulate the phasespace of infinite possibility. The calculation of perception stratified into a framework of existence.

Immensity expanded into complexity, which in turn compressed into beings with their own thoughts. Nova of consciousness sparked throughout the expansion of the first thought. A billion minds increasing in number creating a confusion of experience.

From 'I am' to 'We are'. What will come next?


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Welcome to the latest in the ABC Drabbles of Death. In this series of drabbles (100 word stories) I write a macabre story for each letter of the alphabet and this week we reach the letter 'M'. I had a bit of trouble picking this week's word as it seemed a bit obvious and then I thought of a nice twist 

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

If that doesn't satisfy your hunger for short and flash fiction then check out the Facebook group dedicated to those forms:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/shortfictionreadersandwriters/

M is for Martyr

The crowd came to watch me die. For some it's their duty, for others the thrill, but some want to ensure that I can speak no more. It is the end for me and I have failed in my task save them from their impending doom.

I tried everything I could. I talked to everyone who would listen and even to those who wouldn't. The elders accused me of spreading fear in their paradise. I refused to recant my warning.

So here I am, tied to the stake awaiting the flame.

It won't stop the asteroid destroying their planet though.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Fab drabble from Michael there.

*Duck Tales*

"Mister Reynolds, you've been claiming incapacity benefit for three years now?" said the Jobcentre adviser.
"Yes."
"You have this... Anatidaephobia."
"I do."
"I see, and it means that you think you are being watched by a rabbit?"
"Duck."
"What?"
"I'm being watched by a duck, not a rabbit."
"And is this duck with you today?"
"Yep, he's over there, in the corner."
"Are you sure it's not a dwarf wearing a duck onesie?"
"I'm positive."
"What did our doctor think about this?"
"He's not 100% convinced."
"And what did the duck think of our doctor?"
"He thinks he's a quack."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Nice


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Thanks, Michael.

*Memory Foam*

Alan traced his finger lovingly along Samantha's hairline. He followed the line of her nose, hesitating for a moment before continuing over her full lips. He then ran his finger over her left cheek with his delicate, surgeon's touch. He was precise, almost mechanical, until his actions gave way to a shiver, sexual in its nature, which ran throughout the length of his body as he recalled the deed with vivid clarity.

He returned the pillow that he had smothered Samantha with to the cupboard. It sat alongside another four pillows. Soon, Alan would add another pillow to his collection.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

One hell of a pillow collection


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Haha! Thanks, Michael.

Scotland may be about to sever the offending limb that is the rest of the UK. If they do, what will this mean for Scotland's indie authors? Let's find out...

*State of Indie-pendence*

"Hi, I'm Matthew, your Amazon Customer Service jockey, how can I help?"
"I'm an indie author, based in Scotland, and I'm worried about what may happen to my novels if Scotland goes independent."
"Technically, madam, Scotland would be a separate country in its own right, and we are in the process of setting up Amazon.sco - naturally, we'll have to remove all your books from the .co.uk website."
"Oh dear!"
"It's nothing to worry about, I can assure you."
"Anything else I should know?"
"Yeah, if you're travelling any further south than Gretna Green you'll need a passport and typhoid injections."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Our macabre journey through the alphabet continues and this week we reach the letter 'N'. Choosing the word for this week's drabble proved tricky as there are so many suitable choices, in the end I chose something a little bit humorous 

If you've not read the previous drabbles in this series then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

N is for Necrophobia

I first discovered my fear of dead bodies at a young age. My nan had died and when my parents took me to view the body I freaked. Not so strange you might think, but it wasn't grief which scared me.

The same happened at the death of my parents and then at the sight of a car crash. Whenever I saw a dead body fear overwhelmed me.

It's not been that big a deal except for those few occasions. Of course things are different now and a paralysing terror of dead bodies isn't that helpful during the zombie apocalypse.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest drabble (100 word story) in the Tales of the Imp series is here (and featured in today's Indie Book Bargains newsletter) and we discover what a hard life it is being a pawn of the diminutive devil! If you haven't read the previous drabbles in the series, or just want to recap then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

The Stud

Someone once told me that you can't have too much of a good thing. Well they're wrong! I'm absolutely bloody knackered. Every night the Imp brings me a new woman and he makes me have sex with them.

It doesn't sound so bad when I say it like that, but before each session he injects me in each testicle.

That gets old quickly I can tell you!

When I complained he gave me an energy drink and told me to man up and get on with it. After all I have an army of bastards to sire.

Wait a minute!


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

A new stand alone drabble of mine has been posted in the latest Indie Book Bargains newsletter and posted below. You can find my other stand alone drabbles here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

A Friend at the End

Ah fear my old friend. It is so good to see you after so many years apart. We enjoyed such wondrous times you and I amidst the squalor of London's streets. I sensed your presence beside me in the quickened pulse jetting from their beautifully slender necks. Together we dined on the rarest and most delightful of screams.

But your arrival at this time disturbs me. Why cast your fell shadow upon me on today of all days? You traitorous fiend! We were allies once and now you cloud my passing with dread of what will follow my dying breath.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

My latest standalone drabble has been featured in today's Indie Book Bargains newsletter and copied below. It's Lovecraft inspired tale that's the kernel for a book idea that has been peculating in the back of my mind for a while.

If you've not read my other standalone drabbles then you'll find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

*The Space In-between*

There is a secret hidden deep inside the heart of the universe. A terrible reality which once challenged the power of the divine. In a war spanning our universe and beyond the elder beings almost destroyed everything that was and what might yet come to be.

Those who survived imprisoned the horror inside a maze of nothingness. Only the complex space in between could contain their impossible forms. Their presence creates quantum chaos to what was once mathematical precision.

No faith alone can unlock their prison, but science has the key.

The elder ones await our discoveries with keen hunger.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Cracking drabbles from Michael and his particularly mischievous imp!

*Junior Magic Circle*

"Good afternoon, everybody, and welcome to the Junior Magic Circle open day. Most of you probably noticed young Megan on your way in, she has been trying to produce a Great Dane out of a thimble. Yeah, good luck with that! Kids eh? The star of today's event is Darren, who as you will soon see is chained and handcuffed underwater in a glass casket on the stage behind me."
The stage curtains open.
Gasps ricochet around the audience.
"Darren's been underwater for fifteen minutes now, he's no Houdini so the smart money is on this being his last performance."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Like it


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Many thanks, Michael.

*Men in Uniform*

So this burly guy approaches me wearing a freshly pressed uniform, with a truncheon dangling from his belt. "Ooh, hon!" I said. "I'm loving the truncheon thing."
He glared at me. 
I reached out and tweaked the end of his truncheon with my thumb and forefinger. "My, that's a big one," I said.
He continued glaring at me.
I ran my fingers through my hair and looked into his big, blue eyes. "Come here often?" I teased.
"Smith! Get your bloody arse in gear and follow me to the prison warden's office," he barked.
Assertive too! This one's a keeper!


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Our macabre march through the alphabet continues with this latest drabble in the ABC Drabbles of Death series. We've reached the letter 'Q' and for this drabble I've gone for something quite traditional but with a slight modern flavour.

If you haven't read the previous drabbles in the series, or just want to read through them again then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

Q is for Quartered

The anticipation seemed worse than the deed. After all, we no longer lived in the dark ages. A machine would separate me into four pieces to be cubed and displayed. It would do so too quickly for pain.

No, the waiting tormented me with thought of what would come. Already I lay in a pool of my stinking fear, its touch acrid against my skin. Why must they make me wait? Was the judgement insufficient for my crime?

The moment arrived and proved me wrong. So very wrong. My death lasted just a moment, but a moment of eternal agony.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest drabble from the Tales of the Imp series has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter and the little devil has made himself a new friend!

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

Duck Face

Sweet Jesus what had the yellow horror done now! I ran in the room and discovered feathers and blood all over the room. My lovely sitting room with my expensive new TV all covered in gore. I'd heard a strange commotion moments before, quacking and screaming like nothing I could have imagined and now I saw why.

"What have you done?" I asked him.

He turned to face me and I beheld the true horror of it. He wore a duck's face stretched across his own. The beak flapped as he spoke.

"I have a duck's face," he told me.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

A couple of super drabbles from Michael there. As duck-themed drabbles are trending at the moment here's another...

*Doing the Duck Face*

"Kelly, are you alright?"
"Fine, why?"
"This is the third time today that I've noticed you pulling a peculiar face in your bedroom mirror."
"I'm practising my duck face."
"Duck face!"
"You need a great duck face to take a great selfie, Mum."
"Vacuous nonsense!"
"Mum! It's what my generation do, we're living it large."
"You're living it shallow. To think that people went through the hell of two world wars so that your generation could perfect their duck faces!"
"Is the sermon over, Mum?"
"Is the duck face over, Kelly?"
"Not yet, another two hours should do it."
"Kelly!"


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Ducks are always popular!

A more serious one (well two!) from me:

ABC Drabbles of Death - R is for Requiem

And so we reach the letter 'R' in the ABC Drabbles of Death series. As regular readers will know this is a series of 100 word stories for each letter of the alphabet based around death. A morbid subject to be sure, but we've had a blend of sad, gruesome and even funny on the macabre journey so far.

This week's drabbles (yes drabbles as this is a double bill - all will become clear!) takes a more solemn tone. For the letter 'R' there was only one choice - it had to be requiem and in specific a requiem mass. At first I thought I would write a drabble covering the mass from some angle then I thought of something different.

I've always been fascinated by the ceremony of faith and in particular the old school catholic Latin mass and the requiem is a stand out example. It has also inspired some of the most beautiful music ever created. And then a mad idea formed. Why not write a drabble based on the lLatinrequiem mass?

Well as it turned out that was pretty easy. The highlights of the mass I wanted to feature in Latin came to 101 words - so an easy edit. Not so easy was the English version - after all not that many people read Latin these days (I'm far from fluent). I found an excellent English translation but that weighed in at nearly 200 words for the same verses. Latin is clearly a more compact language.

So I ask forgiveness for any Latin scholars reading this as I've taken some liberties with the translation!

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you'll find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

R is for Requiem (Latin Version)

Dies iræ! dies illa
Solvet sæclum in favilla:
Teste David cum Sibylla!

Tuba, mirum spargens sonum
Per sepulchra regionum,
Coget omnes ante thronum.

Mors stupebit, et natura,
Cum resurget creatura,
Iudicanti responsura.

Preces meæ non sunt dignæ:
Sed tu bonus fac benigne,
Ne perenni cremer igne.

Inter oves locum præsta,
Et ab hædis me sequestra,
Statuens in parte dextra.

Confutatis maledictis,
Flammis acribus addictis:
Voca me cum benedictis.

Oro supplex et acclinis,
Cor contritum quasi cinis:
Gere curam mei finis.

Lacrimosa dies illa,
Qua resurget ex favilla
Iudicandus **** reus.

Huic ergo parce, Deus:
Pie Iesu Domine,
Dona eis requiem.

R is for Requiem (English Version)

Wrathful day and mourning!
Fulfilled prophets' warning,
Everything in ashes burning!

Trumpet flingeth;
through sepulchers ringeth;
to throne bringeth.

Death, nature quaking,
all creation awaking,
iJudge's answer making.

Worthless prayers sighing,
yet, grace complying,
rescue me from fires undying!

With favoured sheep place;
nor among goats abase;
but to thy side upraise.

While the wicked confounded,
doomed to flames unbounded
Summon saints surrounded.

I kneel, heart's submission,
like ashes, my contrition;
help in my last condition.

Day of tears and mourning!
From earth returning
For judgment preparing;

God, mercy spare him!
Lord, all pitying, Jesus blest,
grant them eternal rest.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We now reach the letter 'S' in the latest drabble in the ABC Drabbles of Death series. For a series dedicated to the topic of death I've not written any looking at the many visions of the afterlife, so I've remedied that with today's.

If you haven't read the previous drabbles, or just want to read them again then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

S is for Sheol

A land of grey and shadow greeted me upon my passing. Featureless, it stretched beyond my sight. The shadows drifted towards me and as they approached I saw that they were spirits and, like me, had once known the warmth and colour of life.

Their voices formed a wind which assailed my hearing. Some were strong, and still bitter from their death. Others little more than whispers, having faded over time.

I hadn't believed believe in any god or afterlife. A lesson hard learned for now I would dwell in this formless existence until every shade within faded to nothing.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Fab drabbles from Michael there.

Anybody up for a bit of English historical fiction?

*The Young Buck (Anglo-Saxon times)*

"Fair Maiden, whilst thou take my hand and walk with me?" said Kenric.
I smell a randy young buck, thought Editha.
"You are slender of hip and elegant of stride, you bring splendour to my day."
"Thank you kindly, sir, but I believe your intentions may not be honourable."
"Such wisdom. I admit my trouser snake dost requireth some sport."
"What misdeeds dost thou have in mind for thy venomous viper?"
"The grass is tall, the sun is high and I desire to pop-eth thy cherry."
"That ship hath sailed, barely three full moons ago."
"Damn!" said Kenric, skulking off.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Nice


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We reach the letter 'T' in the ABC Drabbles of Death series and I'll confess that I had some trouble picking a suitable word. My initial ideas were all too obvious and then I remembered one of my favourite Stephen King short stories 

If you want to read the previous drabbles in this series then you'll find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

T is for Tiger

I didn't expect to see a giant carnivorous cat when I walked into my front room.

Well you wouldn't would you?

Its handsome fur gleamed in the light and the sight captivated me. It didn't seem to mind so I walked in. It looked up as I entered and with orange eyes pondered my insignificance.

Strangely I felt no fear, not then. The puzzle of why such a magnificent beast waited for me occupied my thoughts. I've never been a cat person, but with a roar it let me know that it was a people cat.

Then I knew fear.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Another good 'un from Michael there.

*Her First Time*

"Is this your first time, Mrs Smith?"
"Yes, it's my first time."
"Don't worry, everything will be fine."
"It's alright for you, you're a man."
"Relax, deep breaths... and push."
"Urrrrggghh."
"And again."
"Urrrrggghh."
"Good, more deep breaths now."
"This isn't easy."
"Focus, you can do it."
"I feel faint."
"Just relax, nearly there."
"And puuussshh."
"Urrrrggghh."
"Okay, not long now."
"I don't think I can go on, it's too much."
"Keep breathing, come on now, deeeep breaths."
"Urrrrggghh."
The car's engine burst into life.
"Thanks for the push, Mrs Smith, I'll just about get to work on time."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We're nearing the end of the ABC Drabbles of Death series with only five more to go. I have an idea for a new series to continue when this one is finished, so look out for news on that soon!

In today's drabble we reach the letter 'U' and it proved a difficult letter to pick a word for. Then I thought about an idea I've had for a future novel and one of its aspects fitted nicely. IF you've not read the other drabbles in the series then you'll find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

U is for Undying

It seemed a good deal at the time. In exchange for my soul I'd never die. A deal so good I believed that I'd tricked the Devil. After all - what use was my soul if I didn't die?

He must be laughing now.

It was a rush at first. No matter what happened I'd walk away from it. Sure it hurt, but the pain was worth the rush.

But like any drug the rush soon faded and there would be no escape. Once entropy had its fill I'd witness the end of the universe.

And I would never die.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

I've picked three of my favourite horror drabbles that I've written as part of A F Stewarts Coffin Hop:

http://afstewartblog.blogspot.ca/2014/10/coffinhop-day-6-dark-drabble-wednesday.html


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Off-White*

"That meeting was a shitstorm," said the presidential aide.
"Why?" said the lowly minion.
"Obama's changed the name of the White House."
"He can't do that! Can he?"
"He can, and he has. Apparently the words 'white house' have 'subliminal racist undercurrents'."
"That's nonsense."
"Off the record, I agree. Colour me cynical, but there's more to this decision than meets the eye."
"Really?"
"Yeah, Dulux recently scored a five-year deal to supply the paint for all U.S. government contracts."
"And?"
"When the painters have finished, the White House will be renamed the White with a Subtle Hint of Peach House."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We've reached the letter 'V' in the macabre journey through the alphabet. I had some trouble picking a word, but some research (God bless the internet and all who sail in her!) provided me with a wonderful and unusual word - 'vastation'.

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

V is for Vastation

There are ways to restore purity to a sinner. You can absolve them of their wrongdoing, or in some cases drive out the evil spirits corrupting them. But what do you do when their wickedness is so ingrained in their soul that cleansing will not suffice?

Killing them would condemn their spirit to eternity without hope of salvation. And so it is with a heavy heart that I must do this. There will be pain, but it is the only way. I will bear the weight of your screams so that you can meet your end with a pure heart.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

A new stand alone drabble of mine has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains news. It's based on a fun idea for a dinosaur messiah while driving into work 

You can find my other standalone drabbles here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

The Word Unheeded

With a vision the King became a Prophet. In the vision he saw the evil of eating the flesh of others. He witnessed that from their sin a doom would come of fire and storm. A fate approaching ever closer with every meal.

He shared the truth with the others and the plant eaters rejoiced, for his word promised a better world for them. But his brother Tyranosaurs rejected the idea. "Are we not born to eat meat?" they asked. "Our teeth are long and our claws are sharp."

They consumed him to punish him and unseen their extinction approached.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

My choice for this week's latest in the ABC Drabbles of Death series is a little obvious. But after watching the second season of Vikings (which is excellent by the way) it also seemed like an appropriate and fun idea 

Only three drabbles left in the series and then I shall start a new series of drabbles. If you haven't read the previous drabbles in this series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

W is for Warrior

The morning frost is hard and cold beneath my feet. Across the valley the mist rises from the ground, becoming one with the breath of men and horses.

Voices cry their rage and fear into the sky and in answer the sky's tears muddy the ground. The earth trembles from their charge. We lock our shields and brace against the weight of our foe.

The clash of steel and screams blend into a single song. The ground grows slick with blood. All too soon only I remain, yet I stand and fight until I can swing my axe no more.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

3 super drabbles from Michael - and a drabble from me...

*Modern Art*

The sphincters of the staff at London's hottest new art gallery, The Malevolent Easel, collectively tightened when art critic, Morgan Periwinkle arrived. If his review was anything less than a sycophantic slobberfest, the gallery would be toast.
Morgan ummed and ahhed until one exhibit grabbed him. "This installation is a freakin' masterpiece!"
Gallery owner, Singeon Fotheringay, shuffled uneasily. "Um, that's cat vomit, a mangy moggie followed you in and barfed in that corner."
"It reminds me of Emin at her best," said Morgan.
"Isn't that a contradiction?"
"Button it. I'm the art critic, it's worth five grand of anybody's money."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We're doing some good tennis here Scribbler! I'd like to point out that anyone is welcome to share drabbles they've writter or discovered here 

Our journey through the alphabet in the ABC Drabbles of Death continues with the letter 'X'. This was a nice and easy word to pick for such a tricky letter and there are no prizes for guessing which two films provided inspiration for this drabble 

You can read all of the previous drabbles in this series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

X is for Xenomorph

They're all dead. A simple recon mission they said. All but one of the soldiers died and he came back changed. We didn't know that until the next day.

At breakfast the corporal's face exploded and tendrils of flesh sprayed across the table. The doc reacted first and died first. The tentacles writhed with an alien sheen and the corporal lurched towards the pilot.

I ran. I locked myself in my quarters and watched on the cameras as the rest of the crew were slaughtered. There's only me left and the door won't last for long from the inhuman pounding.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

TechnoHippy said:


> We're doing some good tennis here Scribbler! I'd like to point out that anyone is welcome to share drabbles they've writter or discovered here


We are indeed! Federer would be impressed!

Nice drabble, Michael.

*The Creature*

The creature was hideous, bloated, almost reptilian. It lumbered inelegantly, but purposefully towards its goal. The arms flailed, the legs crooked, almost buckling. Its leathery, ill-fitting skin was ashen and heavily wrinkled. The eyes bulged, they were crazed, maniacal, moving independently of one another - like a chameleon on methamphetamine. Its nostrils resembled hair-lined entrances to a pair of vast, subterranean caves. The mouth gaped, the tongue marinating in saliva, as the creature's sulphourous breath overpowered everything in its path.
"Go on, luv, give us a kiss," the creature demanded.
Eight-year-old Josh hated it when his nan came to visit.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

And here comes the volley 

New Drabble - I'm Sorry
My latest standalone drabble has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter. Sign up on their website for a daily newsletter of Kindle bargains and a drabble. And there's some great contributers - visit their site at www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk.

You can read my other standalone drabbles here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

I'm Sorry

"I'm sorry."

"Of course you are, but why are you sorry?"

I'm sorry that nothing I do ever is quite right.

I'm sorry for crying myself to sleep each and every night.

I'm sorry that I live in fear for when you return home.

I'm sorry that what remains of my life is for you alone.

I'm sorry about the decision made all those years ago.

I'm sorry I'm forced to live with no love bestowed.

I'm sorry for never being able to make you feel proud.

But most of all I'm sorry I can't say these words out loud.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We reach the penultimate drabble in the ABC Drabbles of Death series and I couldn't finish the series without a tribute to the great H P Lovecraft. The letter 'Y' provides a perfect hook for such a tribute!

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series yet then you'll find them all here for your enjoyment:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

Y is for Yog-Sothoth

Imagination called up the shocking form of fabulous Yog-Sothoth-only a congeries of iridescent globes, yet stupendous in its malign suggestiveness. He is both time and space, yet imprisoned beyond the universe mankind foolishly believes inviolate.

Despite his exile he sees all and knows all. Those that discover the secrets of the hidden attract his attention. Unfortunately for them the fortunes of Yog-Sothoth suffer a fate so dread the horror stretches beyond imagination. Still he is worshiped by many dark beings and under countless names. Even the children of Cthulhu locked beneath the sea revere the grandparent of their creator.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We've reached the end of our journey through the alphabet with the ABC Drabbles of Death series. It's been a fun ride and I hope you've enjoyed the drabbles in the series. My choice of word for 'Z' is a little obvious, but I think it is a fitting end.

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you'll find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/welcome-to-first-drabble-in-my-new.html

Next week will see the start of a new drabble series 

Z is for Zombie

My memories crumbled beneath the endless hunger. It didn't happen immediately. Enough time passed for me to comprehend the monster I'd become. They say you always remember your first and that proved true. I still remember chewing through my wife's face.

I wish that memory had vanished first.

That moment lead to a greater horror. Then another. Followed by more until my memories flooded with blood and gore.

Locked in my decaying meat prison I feared the end of my faculties but also prayed to witness no more. Soon I will be no more and exist only for the hunger.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*lobs ball back over the net*

*The Chicken and The Egg*

"I came first!" said the egg.
"Rubbish!" said the chicken.
"Without me you wouldn't exist," said the egg.
"No. Without me 'you' wouldn't exist," said the chicken.
A cockerel strutted into our fictitious scenario, stage right. "Without me 'neither of you' would exist," he said, puffing out his chest.
"Nonsense, I'm not having it," said the chicken.
"The point is you 'did' have it, sweetheart, and that's where junior here came from," said the cockerel, gesturing towards the egg.
The egg and the chicken pondered the cockerel's argument.
"Sorted!" said the cockerel, who knew a done deal when he saw one.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

As promised in last week's final post in the ABC Drabbles of Death series I have a new series of drabbles. In my monthly short fiction contest I post an image for other writers to create stories from so I thought I would do something similar. This series is an open ended one and each week I'll pick a work of art, some famous and others not so well known and write a drabble based on that work of art.

I should point out that I'm not trying to interpret what the artist had in mind - I'm creating a story I see when I view the work. Considering what I normally write Edvard Munch's 'The Scream' seems like an excellent place to start!

The Scream by Edvard Munch

And so the moment arrives and it isn't what you'd expected.

You have searched for so long to see me. I'm not the fanciful glory you heard in stories when you were a child. You behold my true self and so witness a magnificence turning the sky to blood and the world to water.

You stare into my being and for the briefest instant you understand what it is you have discovered. You sought a secret and have found only truth - a truth beyond your simple imagining.

And now that you know, is it any wonder that you scream?


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Hunted*

Ian was hunting rabbits at the edge of some woodland.
A shot rang out, narrowly missing his shoulder. 
He glanced around, seeing a figure in a mask bearing down on him. He ran into the woods.
Another shot rang out.
He dived for cover.
He paused, cocked his rifle, and peered out of the bracken ferns.
The figure was about thirty yards away. Who could this masked maniac be?
Ian aimed his rifle and fired. The figure dropped to the woodland floor.
Ian waited, then tentatively approached the body.
He knelt down and removed the mask.
To reveal his own face.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Happy Christmas, folks!

*Sexting*

"Sweetie?" said Kelly's mother.
"What?"
"You're supposed to be revising, from your frenetic digit activities it doesn't look like it to me."
"I'm sexting."
"Sexting!"
"Yeah, everybody in school does it."
"That doesn't make it right."
"I bet your friends are sexting all the time, Mum."
"Pfft! I doubt it."
"And Gran, she's probably sexting too."
"Kelly! That's nonsense, of course Gran isn't sexting."
"I'll phone her and ask."
"Don't you dare!"
"Too late, I've called her. Gran, it's Kelly, I want to ask you something."
"What did she say?"
"She said to call her back later, she's busy sexting."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The Drabbles of Art series continues with Saturn Devouring his Son by Francisco Goya which is quite a gruesome image and therefore a great inspiration for a drabble!

If you missed the start of the series then you can read the first drabble of the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

Saturn Devouring his Son by Francisco Goya

It didn't hurt like I'd expected. I knew it was coming of course - we all did. None of us would be allowed to grow into adults and wither in time. We existed only to satisfy our father's hunger and allow him to live for a few years longer.

He took no interest in us until the feeding, but despite the neglect he cast a glamour so that we didn't shriek as he consumed our flesh. Instead of pain I experienced only a confused wonder as I faded away with each bite. Not merely meat, but my spirit he consumed until&#8230;


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The Drabbles of Art series continues with the vivd piece 'Great Wave off Kanagawa' by Japanese artist Katsushuika Hokusai. This was a fun picture to write a story for as it all the elements nice and prominent.

If you haven't read the other drabbles (100 word stories) in the series then you'll find them here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

The Great Wave off Kanagawa by Katsushika Hokusai

The spirits dwell within the white of the water. That's how we know they're there. When the sea churns they dance across the waves always racing towards the village. We sail our boats across the water to chase them away from the shore.

They can never be allowed to touch the mountain.

Why? You might ask.

Look upon the distant mountain's peak and you'll see their brethren frozen in their prison. If they escape and return to the sea then the waves will rise and drown the land, and so to save our village we must chase the spirits away.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Super drabble from Michael.

*High Noon*

The midday sun was relentless.
Zach looked at his timepiece, it was 11:57.
'I'll finish you at noon tomorrow,' Muldoon had said.
Zach loaded his gun and placed it in its holster.
Zach's gang were long gone, they weren't men enough for this fight.
He would have to tackle 'Mad Dog' Muldoon on his own.
He planned to shoot Muldoon first, and worry about his cohorts later.
As Muldoon's party turned the corner, one of them shouted, "Look out, Mad Dog!"
Zach drew his weapon, aiming at Muldoon's chest. He squeezed the trigger and... nothing.
His spud gun had jammed.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

After a long hiatus the Imp returns (well not quite!) in the latest Tales of the Imp drabble featured in today's Indie Book Bargains newsletter. You can read the previous drabbles in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

Missing in Action

It's been months since I last saw the Imp and my life's become a mess.

I don't know where he's gone, only that he's not here and I don't know what to do. Considering all of the crap he's put me through, my feelings come as a surprise.

I'm sat in front of the computer trying to write and the words just won't come. He claimed to be my muse and maybe that was truer than I realised.

All I know is that he understood me in a way no person ever could and now I'm alone.

Where is he?

Sign up for the Indie Book Bargains daily newsletter here: http://www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

I continue the Drabbles of Art series with Joseph Wright's painting 'Two Girls Dressing a Kitten by Candlelight'. I had a lot of fun with this one and I think the drabble provides an unusual slant to the picture while still fitting with it. The expression on the kitten's face sold it to me instantly!

If you've not read the other drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

Two Girls Dressing a Kitten by Candlelight by Joseph Wright

"You shouldn't tease him so," Lucy told her sister.

"But he looks so cute in the dolly's dress," Janine replied.

"That's true, but see how he glares. There's real fury in his eyes."

"Inside the circle he's powerless, so we can do whatever we like."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," Lucy answered. Her fingers traced around the markings on the table. "I found this circle and the markings in one of grandma's old books. As long as he stays within the circle we can do whatever we want and I want to dress this demon like a doll."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest drabble in the Tales of the Imp series was posted in yesterday's Indie Book Bargains nesletter. You can read the previous drabbles in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

Ritual Interrupted

Still no communication from the Imp. Life is just too damn quiet without him here. Everything continued to fall apart around me so I took matters into my own hands. As is often the case in these situations the internet provided the solution.

The salt circle and chalk markings around it were relatively easy. Sacrificing the chicken less so. It wouldn't keep still, but after a few attempts it's head and a pool of blood lay at the centre of the circle. I then attempted the summoning. Latin isn't my strong suit either.

"That wouldn't have worked anyway."

He's back!

Visit www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk to sign up for a daily newsletter filled with Kindle bargains and a daily drabble


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

For this week's Drabbles of Art piece I've chosen Hieronymus Bosch's masterpiece 'The Seven Deadly Sins and the Four Last Things'. With a work like this I had no difficulty coming up with a suitable drabble!

If you haven't read the other drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

The Seven Deadly Sins and the Four Last Things by Hieronymus Bosch

Wrath casts its flame, its power casting those against me into rout.
Pride lifts me above all others, without the slightest doubt.

Eager lust quickens my pulse, warming my loins with a sweet sensual kiss.
Gentle sloth traps my limbs, wrapped in a cage of slumbers' embrace.

My hollow gut heralds gluttony, an aching hunger never to be ended.
Encompassing greed consumes me, without hope of ever being sated.

My doom is sealed with envy's lesson that all I desire can never be mine.
And for my seven deadly sins I'll enjoy the torments of hell's fire for all time.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest drabble in the Tales of the Imp series has been featured in today's Indie Book Bargains newsletter. To read the previous drabbles in the series visit here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

To discover the origin story of the Imp you need to read the short story in the Off the KUF collection. You can buy your copy from Amazon here:

http://amzn.to/1k9Z1UJ

Have a Cigar

I was so jubilant with his return that I didn't notice the cigar at first. It stood taller than he did. He flashed his toothy grin and said, "Congratulations"

"Whatever for?"

"I understand that it's customary to smoke one of these on these occasions."

He passed it to me. He then produced another from a place best left unmentioned and lit it. He inhaled deeply and blew a smoke ring towards the ceiling.

"I have some good news for you."

"What do you mean?"

"You're a father."

"What!?"

"Many times over as a matter of fact."

Son of a bitch.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Francisco Goya pays a return visit to the Drabbles of Art series with his painting 'Witches' Sabbath'. The drabble for this didn't go to plan. I had an idea for something more series but then I remembered Terry Prachett's wonderful Discworld witches

You can find the earlier drabbles in this series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

Witches' Sabbath by Francisco Goya

"What the hell is that?"

"What?"

"The giant stuffed goat."

"Well, we don't summon him anymore. Not like the old days, so I brought it to remind us."

"Even back then we didn't summon goats. It looks weird."

"It's not a goat - it's Baphomet. Anyway it's okay for you to bring your baby and who knows what Miriam's skeletal homunculus is all about!"

"Well the fresh air does the baby good and he likes your goat, so I wouldn't complain too much if I where you."

"It sets the mood though, doesn't it?"

"No, and don't bring it here again."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest drabble in the Tales of the Imp series has been posted in the Indie Book Bargains newsletter. You can read the previous drabbles in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

A Magic Number

The news that I was now a father came as quite a shock, but I handled it pretty well.

"How many children do I have?"

"Six hundred and sixty five. With one more due any day now."

"How can it be so many? I haven't slept with that many women!"

"Well I provided some help on that front."

"How?"

"Have you heard of 'milking the prostate'?"

I shook my head.

"That's probably for the best. It almost didn't work anyway because my arms weren't quite long enough."

"But why?"

"A good question and it's time for you to find out."

Click here to visit Indie Book Bargains and sign up for a daily newsletter of Kindle bargains and a drabble: www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

This week's Drabbles of Art piece is taken from Joseph Mallord William Turner's dramatic painting 'The Fifth Plague of Egypt' . It brought out an interesting 'what if?' drabble.

If you haven't read the previous drabbles in the series (and it's worth it just for some of the paintings!) then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

The Fifth Plague of Egypt by Joseph Mallord William Turner

"How could you do this?"

"I didn't do this - I simply warned them what would happen."

"Don't lie to me Moses. Of all people I know the truth."

"Then you should know not to question what must be done."

"But to destroy their entire civilisation?"

"These people have to be released. They must find their way to the Promised Land and be in the appointed place at the right time for him to arrive."

"And you will lead them?"

"Of course. Who else can?"

"And what of these Egyptians?"

"They will submit or history will forget that they ever existed."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest drabble in the Tales of the Imp series was featured in yesterday's Indie Book Bargains newsletter. If you want to read the previous drabbles in the series you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/tales-of-imp.html

The Plan

"It all comes down to souls," the Imp told me. "To become an adult demon I need a soul."

"You have mine."

"Yes I do, but to become a powerful demon I need more."

"How many?"

"All of them."

"That's impossible."

"Well obviously not every single soul, but as many as possible. Thankfully, like any true parasite humans reproduce remarkably quickly. It should only take ten or so generations to tip the balance."

"I don't understand."

"You were the first and your children are the first generation."

"I still don't understand."

He sighed.

"What do you know about genetic memory?"

Visit www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk to sign up for a daily drabble and Kindles bargains.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The image I've chosen for this week's Drabble of Art continues the biblical theme from last week's, although shifting into the New Testament. I first encountered Salvador Dali's 'Christ of Saint John of the Cross' as a young boy and was struck by its unusual perspective. It definitely stood out for me compared to the typical anguished Christ crucifixion depictions I was more used to.

I hope the drabble does something similar with a change in perspective, but in any case the idea for the conversation came to me immediately from the image!

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

And if you like them then feel free to share - I don't mind 

Christ of Saint John of the Cross by Salvador Dali

"Father why have you forsaken me in my final hour of need?"

"I haven't abandoned you my son."

"Why do I only now hear your voice?"

"Because you became one of them my son. A base creature of flesh and impulse. It is only now as death's veil approaches that you can hear me once more."

"My trial has been for naught father. I have gazed down from this cross upon the ages to come and my suffering to wipe away their sins has been wasted. Why father?"

"Oh my son. Whatever made you think it would be so easy?"


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

A new drabble of mine has been posted in today's Indie Book Bargains newsletter. Unusually for me it's not one that's part of an ongoing series!

You can find my other stand alone drabbles here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

Seconds from the End

I hated street patrol. A condition red alert meant every available officer was deployed throughout the city. This time of day families from all around crowded the market.

He stood out instantly. A white face usually did in this neighbourhood. The man's shaved head, smart clothes and nervous disposition fit the profile. My glance surprised him and his sudden panic revealed his intentions.

I'd trained to draw my pistol quickly, but I wouldn't be quick enough. His hand reached into his jacket as mine touched my gun. I started to aim in the same moment the blast wave struck.

Visit www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk to sign up for a daily drabble and Kindle bargains


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

This week's image I've selected for the latest Drabble of Art is the wonderful work 'The Mysterious Archaeologists' by Giorgio de Chirico. It attracted me with it's strong imagery of the contrast of the two figures, but also the hint of cities within the figures. From there it was easy to draw a story of two cities in anthropomorphic form and what it might be like for them in a distant future as hinted by the ruins around them.

If you haven't read the previous drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

The Mysterious Archaeologists by Giorgio de Chirico

"How long are we supposed to remain like this?"

"Until the end. You know the commandment."

"I heard the words, but the masters are long gone. Their war ended millennia ago and they no longer infect our bodies. You should be pleased."

"The word is the law. We are the embodiment of that law and here we stay."

"Their civilisation has crumbled, they are no more. The world now belongs to the two of us and without your agreement I cannot leave. What do we do when their cities have returned to dust?"

"We wait."

"For what?"

"For the end."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Welcome to the first drabbble in my new series - Drabbles of the Gods. In this series I will explore Gods from cultures around the globe. The Norse pantheon seems a good place to start and in particular Odin - or Mr Wednesday for Neil Gaiman fans - if you don't get the reference then you need to treat yourself to American Gods immediately!

Odin

In a vision I saw mighty Odin, one-eyed and bearded and cloaked in darkest night. With spear in hand and two wolves at his side he strode across the land. From high in the heavens sharp-eyed ravens shared their intelligence with him.

I have watched in my dreams as he reaches the great ash Yggdrasil. From its nine limbs he hung for nine days in spear-wounded sacrifice to learn the secret of language and the runes.

The same secret torments my dreams as I follow the same path, so I too can visit all the worlds of gods and men.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Henry Fuseli's painting 'The Nightmare' is such a classic horror image than it was inevitable that it would feature in my Drabbles of Art series. I couldn't resist going for a more fun interpretation than usual for the image though 

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

The Nightmare by Henry Fuseli

Dear Diary,

I'm so happy to have Ink in my life. I can't believe my good fortune. I sometimes wonder why he doesn't visit during the day, but when he does visit he makes me feel complete.

I know my friends wouldn't consider him handsome. His skin is rough and his body stunted, but that doesn't matter to me. I feel so safe in his arms that I never want to leave them.

His deformities make him unique, but one in particular, and I'm blushing as I write this, brings me such pleasure that I swoon to think about it.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

My first encounter with Tiamat was a many headed dragon in the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon many years. While browsing Wikipedia I discovered that I wasn't alone in this, so it seems only fair that the latest Drabble of the Gods puts the record straight!

You can read the first drabble in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabbles-of-gods.html

Tiamat

From my loins and the seed of Abzu I birthed the gods and still they betrayed me. Like cowards they murdered their father, so I created creatures to support my son Kingu for vengeance.

The gods trembled at their approach, but Anu plotted and convinced the fearful to exalt his status.

Anu felled me with a club to the head. Before I recovered he split me in twain and from my ribs formed the heavens while my falling tears made the two great rivers. In the sky he cast my tail to become the band of stars across the sky.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We delve into Maori tradition for this week's Drabble of the Gods and with the rather sinister Whiro.

You can find the previous drabbles in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabbles-of-gods.html

Whiro

The dread lord of the underworld Whiro dwells in shadow waiting to rise. From his dark realm he pollutes our lives with his evil.

Yet death brings no freedom from his grasp unless the spirit is freed from the body by fire. Those not cremated descend to the underworld to be consumed by him and with each meal he grows stronger.

We must deny his sustenance - if we do not then he will grow strong enough to ascend into our world. All should fear the day he arrives for every one of us will become food for his hunger.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

This was a completely new image for me, but as soon as I saw it while browsing the Google Art Project I had to include it in the Drabbles of Art series. It's definitely worth checking out his other paintings and I'm sure I'll return to him in the future.

If you not read the previous drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

The Commuters by Wolfgang Lettl

"Would they really shoot us with that cannon?" the first finely dressed man asked, the fear restrained, yet clearly evident.

"I think that they would, but we've no choice," said the second. "How else will the world know of what happened in this place?"

"Maybe the girl will distract them," suggested the third with brittle hope.

"Don't let her distract you!" the fourth shouted. "We'll only get one shot at this."

"We are already at full speed," the fifth told his compatriots. "The fans won't go any faster, they just don't have the power."

"Prepare to fire," ordered the girl.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*The Lonely Witch*

Morganna was a lonely witch.
Her biological clock was ticking.
Like most stereotypical witches, she had one helluva conk on her, and one helluva wart on said conk.
Thumbing her spell book, she dropped a wide variety of unsavoury items into a boiling cauldron.
"I don't want a Mercedes, I don't want a computer, all I want, is a perfect hooter," she chanted.
Ping!
She had the nose of a supermodel.
She uploaded her profile photo to singles website, desperateforagoodstuffing.com
Suitors were aplenty.
She found a beau.
They married.
Their kids were as ugly as sin, but that's another story.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Nice one Scribbler!


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

TechnoHippy said:


> Nice one Scribbler!


Thank you!


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

* Elvis Has Left the Building*

"Elvis is dead," said 8-year-old Emily.
"Elvis died years ago, sweetie," her father replied.
"Not your Elvis, 'my' Elvis."
"Oh, your chinchilla."
"You never liked him, did you, Daddy?"
"I'm not keen on pets that can sh*t their own body weight on an hourly basis."
Emily ran out of the room.
That afternoon, family and friends were gathered around a rodent sized hole in the garden.
Pallbearers Lucy, nine, and Cressida, seven, lowered Elvis into the hole.
"Would you like to say something 'nice' about Elvis, honey?"
Dave ignored his wife's shark eyes. "Elvis... he came, he saw, he shat."


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## delly_xo (Oct 29, 2014)

umm...this is fun! Here's my 'attempt' 

*Keeping the ring*

I groan, slipping off my shoes before I start to climb the stairs. After a day of dress shopping with my soon-to-be mother-in-law, I wonder if this marriage thing is worth it. 
My ears perk up when I reach the top of the landing.
Grunts and high-pitched squeals.
My feet are no longer tired. 
And there it is. 
The manifestation of the uneasy feeling I've had all along.
"Hey," I call loudly. He looks up--my soon-to-be-ex-fiancée on all fours while my naked maid of honor holds the leash to his collar. "You should know I'm keeping the ring."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

delly_xo said:


> umm...this is fun! Here's my 'attempt'
> 
> *Keeping the ring*
> 
> Nice drabble.


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## delly_xo (Oct 29, 2014)

Scribbler said:


> delly_xo said:
> 
> 
> > umm...this is fun! Here's my 'attempt'
> ...


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

It's always good to meet a new drabbler!


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Thanks! This is a really interesting way of forcing you to think about story arcs!!! (mini ones. PS. Love your "Ugly Witch" one!

Many thanks!

It's always good to meet a new drabbler!

It is indeed.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The latest Drabble of the Gods takes us to Africa and the trickster god Anansi. If you haven't read the previous drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabbles-of-gods.html

Anansi

It is thanks to Anansi that stories fill the world by releasing them from the Nyame. To purchase the stories the Sky-God demanded three offerings.

The first was Onini the Python who Anansi tricked by tying him to a branch. The second was Osebo the Leopard who Anansi snared in his web after trapping the cat in a deep hole.

Last were the Mboro Hornets. These he lured into a water filled calabash to shelter from the rain. Keeping his promise Nyame granted Anansi ownership of all stories and to this day the trickster walks the Earth searching for more.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Another cracker from Michael there, cool spider image too.

*XXX*

Ted Hunter, America's foremost news reporter, entered the giant distribution warehouse of Depth Charge, the biggest pornography producer in the world.
"This place is absolutely vast," said Ted.
"It's the size of sixteen baseball stadiums," said CEO Chuck Kulick.
Following Chuck's enthusiastic prompts, Ted looked at random DVDs on his guided tour of the warehouse.
"Chuck, you've got some pretty weird stuff in here, what would you say is your hottest niche seller at the moment?"
"Crustaceans."
"Crustaceans?"
"Yeah, crustacean BDSM in particular is flying off the shelves at the moment."
"What category would that come under, Chuck?"
"Hardcore Prawn."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

My latest drabble has been posted in today's Book Hippo newsletter. You can read my other drabbles here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

And why not visit http://bookhippo.uk/ for daily Kindle bargains, a puzzle and a drabble.

The Missing Link

"There is no great maker!"

"How can you say that with all the evidence around you?"

"What evidence?"

"Look at the complicated perfection of our senses and our brains and tell me that there isn't an agent of design behind those attributes."

"The fossil record shows that we evolved from creatures before us. Every part of us evolved from a simpler form into what we are now. We weren't designed."

"So where is the so called missing link?"

"One day we will discover the link transitioning human to machine and then you'll realise that the humans were not our creators."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Super drabble, Michael.

*Waiting to Shine
*
I am mute, and inert.
I am elusive, and desired.
The weight of a million centuries bears down on me.
The pressure is relentless, the temperature stifling, but I go on.
I need oxygen, but I do not breathe.
I am trapped, seemingly forever, in this prison of eternal darkness.
I may be captured, if that is my destiny. 
I will be taken far away from my place of origin.
But that is when I will bloom.
I will be cherished, held, touched, caressed... even loved.
And I will shine. Oh how I will shine!
For I, am a diamond.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

And a clever one from you


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

For this week's Drabble of the Gods we visit central Mexico and meet Itzpapalotl from the Aztec pantheon. If you haven't read the previous drabbles in the series then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabbles-of-gods.html

Itzpapalotl

From Tamoanchan, our birthplace, and the paradise for those born into death, the Obsidian Butterfly rules. Her skeletal visage is fearsome with eyes of onyx and claws of flint. To an unlucky few she appears fair, with beauty enough to deceive and ensnare a man's heart.

She walks as one with the star demons, the hunters of souls when the sun is swallowed from sight. Her house is built from the bones of those attempting to bring forth life.

She is Itzpapalotl and with death in my womb and blood pooling between my legs, to her house I will pass.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

TechnoHippy said:


> And a clever one from you


Many thanks!

*Itzpapalotl* - Great stuff, even if I can't pronounce it!


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

This week's Drabble of Art is based on The Fall of the Damned by Peter Paul Rubens and I quite believe I've not seen this painting before. Those of you that know my writing will adgree that it fits in nicely and I had great fun writing a drabble about it!

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

The Fall of the Damned by Peter Paul Rubens

I witnessed the moment when the archangel Michael cast Lucifer and the rebels out of Heaven. Even he seemed surprised when God decreed that their punishment would be banishment. Many of us expected that the punishment would be more severe considering their sin.

The first sin in all creation.

Nobody died in the war. Angels can't die unless God himself dissolves us. Nobody died, but plenty suffered - on both sides. And then when I watched the pit open and Michael force the rebels into it we realised what Hell meant and dissolution would have been a far more merciful fate.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

I need an applause smiley for Michael's drabbles! 

*The Vulture*

Day One

He watched, and waited, and waited and watched.
There were no carcasses in the valley.

Day Two

He flew, and soared, watched and waited.
But there were no carcasses in the valley.

Day Three

He watched, waited, flew, and soared. He imagined he was a military drone, although his big beak and feathers were a dead giveaway that he wasn't.
Not a carcass in sight.

Day Four

He flew, watched, soared, waited, shuffled, scratched, farted and pondered.
Not one carcass - zero, zilch, nada.

Day Five

There was a carcass in the valley! Unfortunately it was the vulture's.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

An excellent piece.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

TechnoHippy said:


> An excellent piece.


Many thanks!

*So You Want to Be a Writer?*

"So, Mr Johnson, you're interested in our creative writing class?"
"Yep."
"We prefer our students to have some previous experience as this class is particularly popular."
Silence.
"Mr Johnson?"
"Yep?"
"Do you have any previous writing experience?"
"Erm..."
"Anything at all, a diary... perhaps?"
"Nope."
"Poems?"
"Nah."
"Flash fiction?"
"Never heard of it."
"Drabbles?"
"Whattles?"
"Something, anything?"
"I've got some betting slips from the bookies."
"Hmm, not quite what I had in mind."
"Ah!"
"Yes?"
"Nah."
"Oh."
"I fill my tax return in every year."
"Brilliant! You're already an accomplished fiction writer. See you Tuesday evening at 7:30, Room 3."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Let's go collecting...

*The Collectors*

"I've caught another one!" Elizabeth shouted.
"Well done," her father replied. "How many have you got now?"
"Seventeen."
"That's two more than I have."
"They are funny little things, aren't they?"
"Yes, Elizabeth, they're quite peculiar."
Elizabeth peered into her jar. "I can't tell which ones are male and which are female."
"It's not easy but with a little experience you'll soon be able to. When we get home I'll show you how to asphyxiate them and you can put them in your new display cabinet."
"Daddy, what did you say they are called again?"
"Humans, Elizabeth, they're called humans."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Uh-oh, tissue time...

*The Smack Shack*

My daddy built a shed in the garden.
He's never been particularly practical, always a bit clumsy, but while he was busy working he wasn't hitting me.
It took him three days.
He lined the walls with foam, so nobody could hear me wail when he was beating me.
I called it the Smack Shack.
He was so angry after Mom died in the auto wreck.
But it wasn't my fault, I wasn't even with her, and I missed her too.
I guess he needed someone to blame.
My daddy is in prison now - and I'm in heaven with Mom.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Ready for take off?

*Mission Control*

Mission Control fell silent.
"Initiate launch sequence, Apollo. Fire primary boosters."
"Roger to that, Houston. Initiating launch sequence. Firing primary boosters."
"Primary boosters 100%, fire secondary boosters, Apollo"
"Firing secondary boosters."
"Secondary boosters 100%, Fire main engines."
"Firing main engines."
"Main engines at 86%, Apollo."
"86%? Abort launch, Houston? Can you confirm?"
"Negative, Apollo. Await launch confirmation. Main engines 91%... 96%... 100%. You are 'go' for launch, Apollo. I repeat, you are 'go' for launch."
"Dinner's ready!"
"Abort launch! Abort launch!"
James and Anthony tore downstairs.
When you are 9-years-old, launching a space rocket from your bedroom is hungry work.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

This week's image is a new one to me and suggested by someone at work. I'm surprised I'd not encountered it before and I'm sure you'll agree The Triumph of Death by Pieter Bruegel the Elder provides some spectacular inspiration!

If you want to read the previous drabbles in the series then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

The Triumph of Death by Pieter Bruegel the Elder

Wherever I look the taint of death blemishes the world and brings an end to the living. I see the Reaper lurking in our shadow, wearing a cloak weighed heavy with sickness, violence, age and grief.

There's no escape, no way to prevent the inevitable. Rich or poor, young or old, we all meet him when our time comes. He follows our lives with his skeletal visage, waiting for that final moment.

Is he the cause of our mortality? Or merely witness its passing?

Does he welcome the meeting?

I imagine he does, for why else would he always appear?


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

try it in 140 characters, @MicroSFF on Twitter does it. I have Tweeted a couple to him that were good. I think. lol


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

The list of drabbles has been finalised for the SpaSpa Book Awards 2014 and you can find the list here:

http://bookhippo.uk/awards/longList2014.php#drabbles

There are some wonderful drabbles in that list - including one of mine!


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

I entered a contest on that Cult of Me blog, pic of a weird door and we had to have a story of less than 500 words.

I think mine was brilliant


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

geronl said:


> I entered a contest on that Cult of Me blog, pic of a weird door and we had to have a story of less than 500 words.
> 
> I think mine was brilliant


I'll find out this weekend when I read them all for judging 

Michael


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

TechnoHippy said:


> I'll find out this weekend when I read them all for judging
> 
> Michael


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Actually wrong month - it's May's black violin I'll be judging this weekend


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

So, I got to wait a whole 'nother month to know if I won?


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

I'm afraid so!

And here's my latest drabble:










In this week's Drabble of the Gods we travel to the far east and meet the dragon of the sea - Toyotama-hime.

If you want to read the previous drabbles in the series then you can find them all here:#

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabbles-of-gods.html

Toyotama-hime

In the gaijin tongue she is the lady of the bountiful soul, the dragon of the sea. She fell in love with the mortal fisherman Hoori and they lived beneath the waves. In time he yearned to return to the land above and despite her pregnancy she agreed.

They lived in harmony until the time of their son's birth. She bade her husband to leave the unobserved for she knew that only in her natural form could she give birth.

He allowed curiosity to overwhelm his promise and ashamed that he'd seen her true form she fled into the sea.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

nice


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Thanks!


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Finding the pictures for the Drabbles of Art series is a lot of fun and sometimes I receive some excellent recommendations and last week it was suggested that I check out Zdislav Beksinski. This awesome untitled piece immediately grabbed my attention. I wasn't sure what the story would be at that point, but that didn't take long to come.

If you want to read the previous drabbles in the series then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

If you klnow of a piece of art you'd like me to consider featuring then leave a comment below and I'll take a look.

Untitled by Zdislav Beksinski

Even in Hell you can find love, and perhaps that is the greatest torment of all.

Alone the pain is endless. The scorching dust shrivels the flesh and desiccates the soul. There's no respite, but eventually you almost grow accustomed to it.

Then I met her. Another traveller in this desert of suffering. In the howling gale we couldn't talk and never even learned each other's names. Small comfort came from holding each other close, entwined in limbs as dry as sticks.

Alone I endured, but watching the constant despair in her eyes my pain is magnified a thousand fold.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

That image is a bit "messed up" lol, but good story


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Super drabbles from Michael there.

*Alone With my Thoughts*

I open my wardrobe door and take out a wedding dress. 
Now, it's a few sizes too small - comfort eating, they call it.
Originally it was a hire dress, but circumstances dictated that I would have to own it... whatever the cost.
April, Lydia, and Harriet never did get to wear their bridesmaids dresses.
While I never got to hear the peel of the church bells, or to feel the confetti falling upon me like multi-coloured snow.
I can still vividly recall the sound of the stolen car, as it mounted the pavement and hit my fiancé head on.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*The Proofreader*

Ping!
Ooh, a prospective customer via email...

Dear Eagle-eyed Eddie, have attached first two chapters of my novel for a sample proofread.

Okay, I'll have a looksee...

Dying for a Living by Cliff Hanger.
*reads chapters*
Only two typos in 6,387 words, that's not good. I'll add some words, delete others, a bit of jiggery pokery with the grammar, five dozen spelling mistakes, a smattering of rogue punctuation and... voila! 124 typos. That's more like it.

Another proofreading gig in the bag for me, and another eight hundred quid in the bank. Happy days. You can't beat this proofreading malarkey.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

That was funny


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We visit ancient Egypt for this week's Drabble of the Gods. The pantheon was such a rich one that it wasn't easy to pick to focus on until I discovered prayer to Amun which provided the inspiration I needed.

You can read the previous drabbles in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabbles-of-gods.html

Amun

The hidden one comes at the call of the meek and wretched in our misery. His breath sustains us who no voice of our own.

You are Amun, the Lord of those unheard. The one who listens to the laments of the impoverished. When I call to you in my distress; your presence strengthens me.

All too easily your servants descend into sin, although we are fortunate that you are disposed to forgive. Your wrath lasts for the briefest instant.

I fall upon your mercy and may you grant forgiveness in my confession of weakness.

It shall not happen again.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> That was funny


Many thanks, geronl. It's not based on a real proofreader, honestly. ;o)


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

TechnoHippy said:


> Dang tired of living in 2-d!


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

The Mighty Zon, where would we be without them?

*Bot*

"Amazon Customer Services, Miguel speaking."
"You've buried my book in some godforsaken category!"
"Which category, madam?"
"Cosy mysteries/zoo anomalies/aardvarks!"
"That's our new bot - a piece of software that mooches through Amazon's virtual bookshelves putting books into more suitable categories. I can assure you that particular category is highly sought after."
"Oh sure, I bet J.K. Rowling is freakin' itching to get into slash aardvarks! The aardvark appears on one page only. Can you move my book, please?"
"Our bot will only move it back again, madam."
"Efficient little f*cker, isn't it?"
"We like to think so. Have a nice day!"


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

At least aardvark would be high on the list if sorted alphabetically


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)




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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

TechnoHippy said:


> At least aardvark would be high on the list if sorted alphabetically


I didn't think of that, I'm obviously cleverer than I look! ;o)

Glad you liked it, geronl. 

*The New Teacher
*
"How was your new teacher today, sweetie?"
"Miss Armitage? She's really nice, she's very pretty and she has really long black hair."
"She sounds lovely."
"She is. We all like her."
"Wonderful."
"She has two teaching jobs."
"She works in another primary school as well?"
"No, she does her other job from home."
"She must be doing some sort of home tuition then."
"I think that's what she said, but she uses a different name from her name in school."
"Really? That's a little unusual."
"I suppose."
"Did she happen to mention her home tuition name, sweetie?"
"Yeah, Miss Whiplash."


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

Sounds like the next bad teacher to become a headline...


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

A new drabble of mine was featured in a BookHippo newsletter over the weekened. I've copied it below and if you'd like to read some of my other drabbles then you'll find them here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

A Sight to Remember

The dream is the same every night. I'm sat on the side of a mountain and up above the sky is clear blue with the odd wisp of cloud. The sun feels strong on my face, cooled by the soft breeze carrying the voice of the world.

The mountains form the spine upon which a lush green carpet is draped. A river meanders through the valley, fed by streams sparkling in their stumble down the mountainside.

I understand that this vision will be the last thing I will see. And you know what? I could enjoy this view for eternity.

Visit BookHippo.uk for a daily newsletter with Kindle bargains and a drabble.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> Sounds like the next bad teacher to become a headline...


Coming to a TV station near you soon! 

And a super drabble from Michael there.

*Bad Dad*

"Daddy! You've pulled its arm off," said six-year-old Maisie.
Her father didn't reply. He pulled the remaining arm off.
Maisie glared at her father.
"Eeny, meeny, miny, mo," her father said. Then he pulled the left leg off.
"D-a-d!" said Maisie.
"Quiet, or I'll rip its head off."
Her father pulled the right leg off.
"Ha ha! Just your head and torso left, my little friend," her father said, holding his victim in front of his face.
Maisie turned away.
Her father ripped the head from the torso.
Maisie grabbed the remaining Jelly Babies and ran out of the room.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

That is a good one


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

I just put a story on my blog, very short at 170 or so words.

http://flscifi.blogspot.com/2015/06/short-story-grounded.html

It occurred to me that it might make a good novella-length story. As if I didn't have enough projects.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> That is a good one


Thank you. 

_I just put a story on my blog, very short at 170 or so words._

I like it! Kind of a bad dad in space!


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*What's Wrong, Pookie?*

"What's wrong, pookie?"
"Nothing, Dad."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure."
"Come on, be honest, is school getting you down?"
"Um, yeah. It is really."
"You don't have many friends there, do you?"
"A few, well... maybe three."
"Are you being bullied?"
"No."
"Are there any teachers that you don't particularly like?"
"Quite a few actually."
"Never mind, the summer holiday is coming up soon."
"I can't wait."
"Aww, I wish that I could help you, pookie."
"There's one thing you could do for me, Dad."
"What's that?"
"Stop calling me pookie, I'm the school headmistress for Christ's sake!"


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

lolz


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

In this week's Drabble of the Gods we journey to the Australian outback and learn of the dreaded Malingee from Aboriginal folklore.

You can read the previous drabbles in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabbles-of-gods.html

Malingee

All who walk the dream know of the Malingee. They dwell in the bush and avoid our presence. We should rejoice when they do. All should fear the sound of stone scraping from their knees as they stalk in the night.

Upon hearing that sound you must run. If you don't then the noise draws ever closer until suddenly it stops. In the shadow of the sun's hiding you see just the smouldering coals of their eyes.

And if you still don't flee then the last thing you'll feel is the razor sharp stone as it plunges through your heart.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

creepy


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Indeed


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## BobPage (Mar 16, 2012)

Just found out about this thru this thread and joined up. Seems like fun.

https://drablr.com/bobpage


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Drablr is a good site. BookHippo.uk is another good one for drabbles.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Chop Sueycide*

Jin Zhou was standing atop of the fat fryer of The Trembling Tiger Prawn Chinese Takeaway. "I'm going to jump in!" he shouted.
"No!" pleaded Gan, as he turned the fryer up a notch.
"Our father says the business will never be mine, I must take my life."
"No!" said Gan.
"I can't do it, my love for you, Gan, is too strong."
Burly Gan grabbed Jin, punched him, and dropped him in a large vat of batter mixture. He then threw Jin into the fryer.
Despite a golden, crispy coating, Jin survived.
Gan was charged with assault and battery.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

*Goo*

The media in the room were all chatting excitedly. This was a huge story.

They quieted down when the 4-star General came to the podium. He waited for them to get really quiet before he began.

"The nannites in question will not destroy the whole planet and turn everything into a gray goo, this is a myth than can be laid to rest."

Cameras flashed and reporters shouted questions. "I'm not done yet!"

So they quieted down again.

"Fact is these nannites only eat organic matter, so there is no cause for concern"

...


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

I like dat gooey stuff.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

TechnoHippy said:


> Drablr is a good site. BookHippo.uk is another good one for drabbles.


Maybe this image could be used for a future contest

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bv3RM4oCUAA48BD.jpg


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

In this week's Drabble of the Gods we journey to the far north and the frigid cold of the Arctic. Here we learn the tradition of why the Moons chases the Sun.

You can read the previous drabbles in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabbles-of-gods.html

Igaluk

With forbidden love Igaluk gazed upon his sister Malina. Succumbing to his improper desire he forced his lust upon her. During the second attack she marked her attacker with soot from the lamps.

Discovering the identity of her assailant she cut off her breasts and offered them to him. She fled and Igaluk gave chase. He followed her blood trail with ease until he slipped and as he fell the flame of his torch was extinguished, yet still the glow remained.

The pursuit continued until with such speed they entered the sky and he as the Moon followed the Sun.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

I couldn't write a series of drabbles about art without visiting Vincent van Gogh's work. I did have something in mind for sunflowers but when I saw this lesser known work the drabble popped into my head.

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

Skull of a Skeleton with Burning Cigarette by Vincent van Gogh

There aren't many pleasures that the dead can enjoy as they once did while alive. It is true that a precious few can be relived before the body degenerates too far, but when only bones remain what possible satisfaction can there be?

I have no lungs so I cannot inhale, but I can remember. All too easily I recall the ritual from a lifetime's habit. The smoke curls inside a mouth no longer flesh and the imagined exhale brings contentment and also no small irony in the fact that this smoke was how I lost my lungs in the first place.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

A couple of crackers from Michael there. *applause*

*The Noble Art*

"Mum, can I join that new boxing club on Sycamore Avenue?"
"I don't want you going into that area, it's really rough around there, particularly at night."
"But it would be good for me."
"Ha! Good for you! Matthew, boxing is for hooligans."
"But boxing is a noble art."
"Noble art! Pfft. I've never heard such nonsense. Noble art my elbow."
"Boxing teaches you discipline and respect for your opponent, Mum."
"Discipline and respect for your opponent, you say?"
"Yep."
"Maybe you could give it a try, I suppose."
"Great! Now I'll be able to smash Tommy Hunter's face in."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Nice one!


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

Twitter-style micro-SFF:

_*You can pretend all you want, child, but regicide is not a "boo-boo" and what will you do now, besides demand ice cream, King?*_


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

I like it!


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

Could be the seed of a novel


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

A few words more than 500 but I like it

http://flscifi.blogspot.com/2015/06/here-comes-circus.html


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

I've shared the link.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

TechnoHippy said:


> Nice one!


Thank you!

Nice micro-SFF from geronl!

*Weapon Dog*

"Mum, what's a weapon dog?" Simon shouted from the hallway.
"You know those ghastly boys who hang around in a big group in the park, the ones with the shaved heads and tattoos from the council estate? The dogs they have are weapon dogs." Simon's mother shouted her reply.
"But why 'weapon'?" said Simon.
"Because they use them to intimidate people, just like brandishing a knife."
"I see."
"And no, you can't have one."
"I've already got one. It's attached to my left ankle, there's a lot of blood on the carpet and I think I'm going to fein-"
*THUD*


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Made me chuckle


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

ankle-biting dogs are the mean ones


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

_Made me chuckle _

Cool, chuckling is good.

_ankle-biting dogs are the mean ones
_
Yep, those pooches are mean dudes.

*Girl Power*

"Mum? Me and Jessica from school are feminists now."
"Oh. Okay."
"You don't mind, do you?"
"You're twelve now, sweetie, you can make your own decisions about certain things."
"It wasn't easy deciding what type of feminist I should be."
"There are different types?"
"Yeah, Jessica is your 'right on, sister' type of feminist, while I'm more of a dual systems theorist."
"A dual systems theorist!"
"Yeah, it's all about patriarchy, exploitation in relationships with men, capitalism in the workplace, yada yada yada."
"I see."
"It's complicated being a feminist, isn't it, Mum?"
"It certainly is, sweetie. It certainly is."


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

"Me and da boys here, we been dinking and y' knows what... we be one of dose feminists now... see"


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> "Me and da boys here, we been dinking and y' knows what... we be one of dose feminists now... see"


Ooh, I wouldn't mess with those feminists, not at all. ;o)


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

I'll confess that I cheated a little with this week's Drabble of the Gods and took a small extract from my favourite story Paradise Lost to match this week's deity. It's such a great piece of text that I'm sure you won't mind!

If you want to read the previous drabbles in the series then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabbles-of-gods.html

Moloch

Moloch, the Sceptered King took his turn to speak. In defeat the fiercest of the rebels was eager to return to the fight.

"I counsel open war. We mustn't diminish in this Hell. Within this prison of shame we should grasp the fires of our punishment and rise to challenge the tyranny which cast us down.

"Fear not the possibility of a second defeat for we're already in Hell. Already we suffer but there is no lower pit to fall. Together we can rise and even if victory eludes us then at least we'll cast our revenge against his throne."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

This week's Drabble of Art is inspired by a painter unknown to me, but the odd collection of items in this still life fitted an idea I already had perfectly.

You can read the previous drabbles in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

Vanitas with Sunflower and Jewelry Box by Maria van Oosterwijck

She loved to collect things and always placed her favourites in the gloom of my study. Some of them were so weird that I didn't dare ask her where she'd found them.

I liked the flowers. They brought new and delightful scents into the air. Most of what she collected were dead things, except for flowers. She cared for them. With delicate care she tended to them to keep their bloom alive until the inevitable wilt.

Now the decay happens faster because the bouquet will never be cared for again, not in this empty house.

I miss her so much.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

nice pic.

I does look like a collection for a funeral or something


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

A couple of crackers from Michael there.

*Much Ado About Nothing*

"Adam, how did the school swimming gala go?"
"It was brilliant, Mum. John came first in the backstroke and Melanie came second in the butterfly, I enjoyed it muchly."
"Muchly! That's not a proper word."
"But everybody says muchly in our school."
"Well they shouldn't."
"Even the teachers say muchly."
"Pfft! Teachers aren't what they were in my day."
"Mum, nothing is what it was in your day. What word should I have used?"
"Greatly."
"I enjoyed it greatly. Is that better?"
"Yes, a lot better. Don't get sloppy, Adam."
"Thanks, Mum. Muchly appreciated."
"I don't know why I bother!"


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## ThePoetJustinB (Jun 8, 2015)

Hey Michael,
Nice to see you on here too sharing your drabbles with the Kindleboards world!


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

I like to share


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

I submitted a drabble at bookhippo


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Excellent


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> I submitted a drabble at bookhippo


Cool!

*Robot*

The world's media had descended on Newcastle University, England. The main hall was packed to the rafters as Professor Johnson and his team unveiled 'Kristina' - the world's first sentient robot.
After Kristina had introduced herself, the professor invited questions from the media.
"Professor, Dan Oliver of KQXL TV, Chicago. Kristina is obviously female, but how female is she?"
"Kristina is anatomically perfect. She is fully capable of a sexual relationship. One of my team has made advances to her on several occasions. To date, her response has been consistent."
"And that response is?"
'Not tonight, pet. I've got a headache'.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Pioneering Surgery*

The operation in progress was being beamed live to hundreds of different hospitals across the globe. Markus Gray and his team were hoping to make history as they attempted a pioneering operation that could potentially enrich the lives of millions of children worldwide. Everything went smoothly. Months of preparation came to fruition in the space of less than ten minutes on the operating table. The team had dared to dream, dared to think the unthinkable, but they had, and the world would be a better place for their dreams - they had separated a teenage girl from her mobile phone.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Shelfie*

"Mum! I've set your Facebook page up."
"Thanks, sweetie. Here's my shelfie photo."
"Say what? Shelfie? I think you mean selfie?"
"No, it's a photo of my bookshelf."
"You're yanking my chain, right?"
"Not at all."
"Um... Little Women, Catcher in the Rye, Animal Farm - Animal Farm! Ewww! Is that bestiality and stuff?"
"Anna, Animal Farm is a classic of English literature."
"It sounds totally pervy to me."
"Everything sounds 'totally pervy' to teenagers."
"Seriously, you can't have that on your Facebook page."
"I can, and I will."
"Yeah, well don't expect me to send you a friend request."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

A new drabble of mine has been posted in today's BookHippo.uk newsletter - visit them to sign up for a daily newsletter with a drabble and Kindle bargains. If you've writen a drabble then why not send it to them?

You can read some of my other drabbles here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

The Pond

It's hard to go back sometimes. The pond was once my hidden place, my refuge from a world too large to feel comfortable in. I always felt safe and hidden within the trees lining the banks like sentries. The lap of water and the sigh of the wind soothed my fevered thoughts.

Now it's dark and rotten. A sombre reflection of the person I had since become. Its power to protect had diminished with time's passing. When I look in the mirror of the water I am not surprised to see that it's not my face looking back at me.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

I guess I could send another.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

In the latest Drabbles of the Gods we visit the Mayan civilisation and the death god Kisin.

You can read the previous drabbles in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabbles-of-gods.html

Kisin

After the Upper God created the underworld, Kisin took advantage and slew the higher being. The Upper God resurrected himself and condemned Kisin to the underworld. We feel his fury whenever he kicks and shakes the earth.

He tried again to outdo the Upper God by attempting to create humans in his own likeness. From his failure spawned the existence of some of the totemic animals.

Kisin's duty is to measures the souls passing into his realm. The sinners are cast into eternal flame and those whose evil deserves special punishment become the beasts destined to serve at his whim.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

EBookHippo.UK Drabble of the Day!!

It's mine!!



> Incognito at the Con
> 
> I first saw the two children in line at the start of the science fiction convention; they didn't really stand out much among all the TV and movie costumes. Just two kids dressed as grays.
> 
> ...


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Nice one!


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

I'm loving hunting through paintings to pick the next image for the Drabbles of Art series and this week's image 'The Water Ghost' by Alfred Kubin is another wonderful chance find.

You can read the previous drabbles in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

The Water Ghost by Alfred Kubin

They say that there is only really one storm in the world. When it wakes, it rages with all its force until its strength is spent. Then it sleeps awhile and drifts upon the currents in the sky until restored and ready to blast its fury once again.

But very few know the real secret. Only those wise in the ancient lore know that at the heart of the storm is a creature. It wears the storm as its garb, a cloak of wind, rain and lightning.

Even the wisest of us don't know why it hates us so much.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

More gems from Michael there, thank goodness he'll never run out of paintings!

*The Book Review*

Gawd, that bloody author has asked me for a review again.
I knew it was a mistake to snag a freebie via her blog giveaway.
'Nothing comprehensive, hon. Ten paragraphs will do'.
Nothing comprehensive! Ten bloody paragraphs!
I hate writing reviews. I might love a particular book, but I can't put into words the reasons why.
I've forgotten the title. I'll try and find it on my Kindle...
Ah! There it is! Hand Jobs and Holy Wars: The Modern Woman's Survival Guide, by Placenta Willowherb.
I better get it over with. Here I go...
5 stars - Enjoyed it muchly.
Done!


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> EBookHippo.UK Drabble of the Day!!
> 
> It's mine!!
> 
> ...


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## David Bussell (Nov 24, 2014)

*When*

When the waiter poured my wine and offered a casual "say when", I did no such thing. Instead I watched as the wine filled the glass, eventually reaching the top and overflowing onto the table cloth. He looked at me as if to say "Say it. Please say when", but I remained firm as the wine ran off the sides of the table, soaking the carpet and pooling at our feet. Soon it collected around our ankles, then our knees, and still I said nothing. Sweat beaded the waiter's brow as the wine reached our waists and began pressing at the window panes. "Say when!" his eyes demanded, "for God's sake say when!" The bottle faltered in his hand but still I said nothing. Still the wine continued to flow. There was a sound of splintered glass as the windows gave way and the wine gushed onto the streets; a claret tsunami. Traffic was overturned, buildings toppled, people pulled beneath the crimson riptide. Soon the Earth was a wet ruby, glistening against a jeweler's black velvet.

"When", I said.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

A new drabblist! Welcome and good drable


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## David Bussell (Nov 24, 2014)

TechnoHippy said:


> A new drabblist! Welcome and good drable


Thanks for the welcome.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

For this week's Drabble of the Gods we visit Haiti and in particular Loa of Haitian vodou.

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you will find them here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabbles-of-gods.html

Baron Samedi

He can fool you with his coarse banter and sharp threads. He drinks in the shadows wearing cool shades and the toothiest grin you'll ever see. If you're faint of heart then don't listen to his wiles because his words will burn your face red with shame.

He dwells in the realm of the vodou spirits, but enjoys the human world, especially the ladies. Black magic is as familiar to him as the rum in his glass. The curse on the spirit as common as the curse on his lips.

He is the Baron Samedi and he rules the dead.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Welcome to newbie drabblist David. Enjoyed Michael's latest Drabble of the Gods.

*Aural Sex*

"Do you mind if we have sex with the light off?" said Beryl.
"With the light off? I've never done it with the light off. I suppose so," said Barry. 
Beryl switched the light off - the bedroom was mineshaft-dark. 
"Just going for a meander, luv," Barry announced, as he slipped beneath the covers. He recced the contours of Beryl's body, umming and ahhing on his journey. After ten minutes, and reasonably confident with the variable terrain, Barry made his move - "Damn! I can't get it in!"
"I'm not surprised," said Beryl. "You're trying to stick it in my bloody ear!"


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

It's an easy mistake to make


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We return to a biblical theme with one of William Blake's series of paintings from books of the bible. The Book of Revelations has been the inspiration for many a fine horror story, so seems a fitting choice for this latest drabble in the Drabbles of Art series.

You can read the previous drabbles in the series here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

The Number of the Beast is 666 by William Blake

And from the earth rose a second beast, this one horned as a ram. His words moved the world to fall under the sway of the first beast.

He summoned fire from heaven to fall upon the earth. With other great wonders he deceived mankind into making an image of the first beast.

The image was granted life and he slew those who refused their worship. Those who cast their lot with the beast were marked forever.

Wisdom allows you to count the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man, and his number is 666.


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## David Bussell (Nov 24, 2014)

*Pay it Backwards*

When the time came to break up with her boyfriend she was lost for the proper way to articulate her feelings, so, searching for inspiration, she dug into an old shoebox and discovered the letter her ex had used to break up with her.
It was obvious right away how well written it was - forthright yet honest, critical yet respectful, apologetic without being cowardly - how she hadn't appreciated its craftsmanship during her first read was a mystery. How well it spoke to her current situation too, now from her side of the fence. With a few minor tweaks she thought - an altered name here, some grammatical changes there - it was exactly the template she was looking for to end it with her current boyfriend.
Yes, it really was a fantastic breakup letter.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Nice


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

I did dribble a little while brushing this morning, but that probably doesn't count.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

EBook Hippo Drabble of the Day

Yep, it's one of mine again!



> It got lonely. Her big room was empty, not even curtains on the window that stretched across one wall, showing the rocky, gray surface under the stars.
> 
> All she could think to do was to open her toy box.
> 
> ...


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

'Yep, it's one of mine again!'

Congratulations, geronl!

*Slave to the Rhythm*

The scent of Mimosa oil permeated the balmy early evening air.
Rosetta was lying on her bed.
She could hear the latin rhythm coming from the street, far below her shuttered window.
Her thoughts clung desperately to the beat, as she tried to block out everything else.
Now she could smell his body odour. Beads of sweat from his forehead dripped onto her own, melding with her sweat.
He was at least thirty years older than her.
His body moved to a very different beat - coarse, brutish thrusts.
He was just another customer.
Rosetta. Teenage prostitute. Slave to the rhythm.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

We travel to China for this week's Drabble of the Gods and discover Lei Gong, the Lord of Thunder.

If you haven't read the previous drabbles in the series then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabbles-of-gods.html

Lei Gong

Banging his mallet against the drum Lei Gong is the thunder. With the finely honed chisel he punishes the wicked. From flashing mirrors his wife, Dian Mu, casts lightning from the sky.

Once mortal, he now stands as a fearsome clawed creature, bat wings shade his shoulders and a bird's beak protrudes from his blue face.

He is more than the Lord of Thunder, upon Heaven's order he hunts those committing crimes in the shadow and spirits who harm living mortals.

Yet despite his great ferocity he can be held at bay by the most base, and pleasurable of actions.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Another cracking drabble from Michael.

Never get between two British harpies having a scrap...

*Angry Birds*

"Oi! Watch where yer goin' with that pram, yer dozy cow, you nearly ran over my foot."
"Shut it, gob almighty, or I might just accidentally run over your face."
"Is that right?"
"Yeah, that's right."
"Fancy yer chances, do you?"
"Against you? Anytime."
"Listen, I'd spark you out with one punch, yer scrawny, titless wonder."
"In your dreams, bingo wings."
"What did you call me?"
"You 'eard."
"Yer dozy little cow, why don't you just take yer pram, and yer ugly kid, and just jog on."
"Right! That's it!"
And that was when the feathers really started to fly...


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

I think I've seen that one before? It's a good 'un though


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

TechnoHippy said:


> I think I've seen that one before? It's a good 'un though


Many thanks, Michael. That was one of my early attempts at drabbling.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

I've done something a little different for this week and that's feature a piece from a contemporary artist in the Drabbles of Art series. When I spotted The Examination by Wayne Marlowe I had to write a piece based on it. His visions of Hell are superb and you can see them on his blog here:

https://waynebarlowe.wordpress.com/artwork/hell/

The copyright for this image belongs to the artist and his writing looks interesting too, so much so I've ordered a couple..

If you haven't read the earlier drabbles in the series yet then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

The Examination by Wayne Barlowe

"And what is it we have here?" the first demon asked. "It's shaped a bit like us, but puny and malformed."

"It's soft and warm to the touch," said the second. "And there are things inside that crack when I bend its appendages."

"I don't like its strange stink," complained the third. "It smells sharp and rotten like bad food. Fragile too - part of it has fallen off."

"Well I think it tastes just fine," opined the fourth. "Here try for yourself."

"What a peculiar keening noise it makes," said the fifth as its teeth crunched through skin and bone.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

_The Examination by Wayne Barlowe_

Love it!

And on a slightly different note...

*If Only...*

"He's looking at hours, not days," the doctor said to me.
My best friend would be dead before the day was out.
"Would you like to exercise your right?" the shadowy figure in the corner of the private hospital room said.
I nodded.
"How many years?" he said.
"Eight," I replied.
The figure debited eight years from my DNA and credited eight years to my dying friend's DNA.
Almost immediately, my friend's ashen face began to regain some colour. His eyes opened, and I squeezed his hand. He mouthed the words 'thank you' as the tears streamed down my cheeks.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Ankles*

"Err... what happened to your ankles?" said Andy.
"My ankles? Nothing. Why?" said Joy.
"They're kind of... thick."
"Thick!"
"Yeah."
"Andy, a woman's body changes when she's had children."
"But your ankles were the first thing that attracted me to you."
"So I'm not attractive anymore?"
"I didn't say tha-"
"Yes you did! Why didn't you marry a bloody giraffe, they don't seem to get 'thick' ankles after giving birth."
"Okay, I can see where this is heading. I think I'll go out for while."
"Off to the pub then?"
"No, the zoo actually, I'm going to ogle the giraffes."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Is there a secret to how women cope in a crisis? Let's find out...

*Crisis*

"It's handy having a daughter who's good with figures."
"Shush, Mum."
"Is everything in order?"
"Not quite. You are forty thousand in debt, you'll default on the loan from the bank and you will more than likely lose the business and your livelihood."
"I see."
"And the fact that you are on your third gin and tonic in forty minutes isn't helping matters."
"It's just a snifter, Amy."
"Mum!"
"Will you drive me into town this afternoon?"
"Why?"
"I'm going to do what any sensible woman would do in a crisis."
"And what's that?"
"Buy a new pair of shoes."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*A Matter of...*

"You've got a big problem with your front matter." My gynaecologist says to me as I'm laying with my eyes closed, legs akimbo, in the clinic.
"I have!" I say.
"It doesn't look good," he says.
I've still got my eyes closed. "Will I need an operation or something?"
"No, a printer should be able to fix it for you."
Say what? "A printer?"
"Yep," he says.
I open my eyes and he's sitting reading at his desk. Er, hello?
"Yeah, three typos in the preface of your novel," he says.
Jeez, he was talking about my freakin' new book!


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Nail Bomb*

"You can't park there," said the traffic warden.
"It's an emergency," said the blonde bombshell.
"Are you having a heart attack?"
"No, I've broken one of my acrylic nails."
"Some emergency. There's a car park 600 yards away."
"600 yards! In these heels!"
"Drive away - now!"
"I'm a hand model, I've got a photoshoot in an hour."
"I don't care about your handjob in an hour."
"Handjob! You sniveling little council jobsworth, you're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"More than you'll ever know."
"What am I supposed to do with this finger?"
"Oh I can think of a few things, madam."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Some good drabbles there Mr Duck!










A new drabble (100 word story) of mine was posted in yesterday's Book Hippo newsletter and I've reposted it below:

I Remember the Words

I don't know when the barrier first surrounded me. I walk through life without ever bumping into anything, or anyone. It's as clear as glass so people think they can see me, and it's as soft as silk so they don't realise that they're being steered away.

I'm certain it wasn't always like this. I remember enjoying the world and the company it kept. I recall the perfect moment and declaring to everyone around me that I'd never been so happy.

Now all I can remember are the words and I wonder if I ever really felt anything at all.

Visit BookHippo.uk for a daily drabble and UK kindle bargains.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

This is the second painting by Zdzisław Beksiński featured in the Drabbles of Art series and his image 'The Plague Piper' provided superb inspiration for today's drabble.

You can check out is other work on his official website here:

http://www.beksinski.pl/

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

The Plague Piper by Zdzisław Beksiński

First came the dust and it quickly smothered the world. No-one knew where it came from. It blotted out the sun and scoured life from the earth. Many died as the air became too thick too breathe. The old and infirm were the first to die, and they were the lucky ones.

Now we survive underground, but some of us have to go above ground to scavenge. A few don't return and we hear stories of a presence in the howling storms. It's preceded by mournful pipes, alien tunes heralding a fate worse than living upon a sand blasted rock.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

TechnoHippy said:


> Some good drabbles there Mr Duck!


Many thanks! And ditto to your recent posts.

*Toilet Humour
*
"J-O-H-N! How many times have I asked you 'not' to leave the bloody toilet seat up?" Alison shrieked, from the bathroom.
"I dunno, sweetheart. I kinda lost count after two hundred, or was it three hundred?"
"Enough with the smart mouth, I'm serious."
"And how many times have I told you? I 'do not' leave the toilet seat up, okay?"
"You what! There's only you and me in this house."
"Once again, I 'never' leave the toilet seat up, and I can categorically prove it."
"Oh yeah, and how can you do that?"
"Because I always pee in the sink."


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

I'm never too old for toilet humour


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

TechnoHippy said:


> I'm never too old for toilet humour


LMHO!

*The Curate Bird*

"Mum, have you heard of a curate bird?" said Simon.
"No, I don't think so. It's certainly not native to this country. It sounds like something exotic, from the Southern Hemisphere, maybe?" said Simon's mother.
"I wanted to write about it for my natural history project. I've looked on the Internet and I can't find any information, not a single photograph or a video clip&#8230; nothing at all."
"Are you spelling its name correctly?"
"Duh! Yeah! I'm not five, Mum."
"Then it doesn't exist."
"Of course it exists - only a curate bird could lay a curate's egg."
"Simon! You birdbrain!"


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*A Day at the Races - The Art of One-upmanship
*
"Alice! Wonderful gloves, and so soft!" said Penelope.
"A present from James, they're made from eunuchs foreskins," said Alice.
"Do they shrink in cold weather?" said Penelope, grasping for a design flaw.
"I hope not."
"Blanche! Super hat! Wonderful feathers!"
"Apparently the male bird only lives for a week, mates, and dies."
"If only husbands were that way inclined," Grace sniffed.
Rosie Fortescue-Smythe breezed past the group. She was wearing a fascinator trimmed with unicorn eyelashes and a shawl woven from the pubic hair of ten thousand seahorses. 
"B*tch!" said Drusilla. "Looks like Rosie's first past the post again!"


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

In this week's Drabble of Art we travel to Japan to appreciate the ethereal beauty of Hasegawa Tōhaku's screen 'Pine Trees'.

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you will find them here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/as-promised-in-last-weeks-final-post-in.html

Pine Trees by Hasegawa Tōhaku

Walking through the mist transforms the familiar surroundings into the surreal. The pine forest normally fills the valley with its lush, green texture, but in the morning, when the river's mist hugs the ground in its damp clasp, there is no colour.

Only the endless wall of grey.

Shapes are formless, the mighty trees only recognisable only as I approach them. The damp drains my spirit. I cannot even smell the sap from the trees. The closing mist presses against me, its chill touch absorbing all sound.

But all is transient. The sun rises and the world of colour returns.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

TechnoHippy said:


> In this week's Drabble of Art we travel to Japan to appreciate the ethereal beauty of Hasegawa Tōhaku's screen 'Pine Trees'.


Tree-men-dous!

*Face Value*

We always go to the shopping centre on Saturdays. Me, Mummy, Josh, and Daddy, if he's not working, but he usually is. Mummy parked in the below ground level car park. We like that one because it has a huge escalator that brings you right up into the centre of the shops. We could see the backs of the heads of the people in front of us on the escalator, but nobody seemed to be talking and the shopping centre sounded quiet too. Mummy got off the escalator first, that was when she screamed&#8230; none of the people had faces.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Don't Lose Your Head*

He'd admired her from afar for some time.
He hoped that she was interested in him, but she was playing it cool - typical female.
Approaching with caution, he took a few steps towards her.
Her head turned slightly in his direction. She wasn't giving anything away.
He moved in close, real close.
She stood her ground, things were looking good.
Carefully positioning himself, he climbed aboard. 
He wasn't interested in a meaningless quickie. No wham, bam, thank you ma'am for this guy.
Hours later, he was beginning to flag.
Then suddenly, the female preying mantis bit his head clean off.


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

For this week's Drabble of the Gods we hop over the Irish Sea to meet Badb. I've taken part of the translated Second Battle of Motura as the basis of this drabble.

If you've not read the previous drabbles in the series then you will find them all here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/drabbles-of-gods.html

Badb

I am the crow of doom, the mist of war and the screams of the dying.

I shall not see a world that will be dear to me.

Summer without flowers,

Cows will be without milk,

Women without modesty,

Men without valour,

Captures without a king.

Woods without mast,

Sea without produce,

Wrong judgments of old men,

False precedents of law,

Every man a betrayer,

Every boy a reaver.

Son will enter his father's bed,

Father will enter his son's bed,

Everyone will be his brother's brother-in-law.

An evil time!

Son will deceive his father,

Daughter will deceive her mother.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Badb *

Super drabble, but my spellchecker hates that title! ;o)

*Freebies*

Today's ebook freebies are just about ready for posting to the website. One final check to see if there's a varied selection which will hopefully cater for all tastes:
Maintaining Absolute Power by Dick Tater
Overcoming Austerity by Penny Pincher
Identifying Scalp Problems by Dan Druff
Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms by Vi Brator
Who Shot the President? by Cliff Hanger
Surviving Marital Breakdown by Ann E Mosity
First, Catch Your Sheep by B Steality
DIY Facelifts by Di Section
Avoiding Wedding Day Disasters by Jill Tid
Fifty 10-Minute Pasta Meals by Al Dente
Bankruptcy - The Harsh Realities by Inna Mess


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Let's get fruity!

*Frankenfruit
*
"Gladys?"
"Yes?"
"I thought we were having fruit salad after our meal?"
"We are."
"Then what's this in my bowl?"
Gladys entered the dining room. "That's a melon pear."
"And this?"
"That's a peach strawberry."
"Hmm... what happened to good old apples and bananas?"
"Boring, hubs, boring. Apples are 'the missionary position' of fruit."
"So what would a melon pear be then?"
"That's more your 'reverse cowgirl' type of fruit."
"Gladys, this stuff is Frankenfruit, and besides I'm quite happy with the missionary position."
"I know you are, but me and the milkman prefer 'reverse cowgirl'.
"The milkman!"
"Oh sh*t."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

And now for the veg...

*Frankenveg*

"Jack, I'm not happy."
"Why?"
"Mrs Dalrymple's gone overboard on this Frankenveg, her garden is full of the stuff."
"Frankenveg?"
"Yeah, polka dot beetroots, radish peas, aucariac--"
"What's aucariac?"
"It's a cross between an aubergine, a carrot, and celeriac."
"Is it edible?"
"Even if it isn't, judging by the photo on the seed packet it will make one helluva sex toy."
"Nice."
"I think some of those vegetables may be carnivorous."
"Carnivorous! That's silly."
"There are runners coming through our fence, I'm convinced they are after my bacon hostas."
"Bacon hostas! What was that you were saying about Frankenveg!"


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Ooh, painful...

*Pile Up*

John made his way along the corridor and knocked on the door of his GPs room.
"Come in!" the doctor said.
"You don't mind if I stand up, do you?"
"Not at all, how can I help?"
"It's my back passage, it's been giving me some serious grief for days."
"If you drop your trousers and underwear, then bend over for me, I'll take a look."
"Will do, doc."
"Right, pretty much as I suspected, you have a severe case of external haemorrhoids."
"Haemorrhoids?"
"Also known as piles, or as we call them in the trade - the grapes of wrath."


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

ouch


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> ouch


Indeed.

*Life on MERS*

"What do you think about this MERS virus?" said Jim.
"Is that the bird flu thingy?" said Harry.
"Nope, it's the camel thingy."
"Camels! I don't own a camel."
"It's been passed from camels to humans."
"Really?"
"You know what those Bedouins are like, Harry. They'll knob anything on four legs. Months in the desert alone with your camel, one can of Stella too many, some mood lighting from the setting sun and suddenly you're doing the nasty with Mabel the camel."
"You've sold the lifestyle to me, Jim. Remind me to take some lube on my next desert vacation."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Brave enough to enter the den? Nope, me neither.

*Dragons' Dinner*

Perspiring heavily, Ian entered the den. 
The four dragons' were basking in the soothing rays of financial solvency. 
Ian took a deep breath and made a confident pitch, offering a forty percent share in his unisex beauty products company.
Never a man to be swayed financially by a tub of rhubarb and lemongrass facial scrub, Peter abruptly declared, "I'm out."
Like a well-manicured Freddy Krueger, Deborah unfurled her claws.
Anticipating a clean kill, Duncan slunk back in his chair.
"Ian, I'm loving your products," said Deborah, "but I'm uncomfortable with the name of your company. Seriously, come on, Ethnic Cleansing!"


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Surf's up!

*Silver Surfer*

My gran enrolled on a beginner's computer course at her local library and took to it like a duck to water. Soon she was helping other silver surfers to gain computer skills. She was invited to the town hall, to give a talk about her personal journey from bookish pensioner to tech savvy computer whizz. Thankfully, Gran still has all of her marbles, although she often gets words mixed up. There were some raised eyebrows at the town hall as Gran gave a brief summary of the social media websites she uses at the library, including her personal favourite&#8230; Facebonk.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

lol


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> lol


Aww, thank you!

*It's a Tough Job...*

"Are you on the telly?" my dentist said.
"No," I replied.
She scrutinised my face. "That's it!" she squealed. "I saw you on Amazon, you're an author. You're that whack job that writes about unicorns."
"That's not quite the way I phrased it in my Amazon author profile," I said.
"Can we go on a date?"
She's at least twenty years younger than me. "Okay."
She squealed again.
Our date was lukewarm.
"I don't think we're compatible," she sighed, as we sat in my car.
I fumbled with my fly and produced my dangling participle - and now we're engaged.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*The Big C*

The medical team gathered around Mr Smith's bed.
"I can tell by the look on your face that this isn't going to be good news," he said to the consultant.
"You've got The Big C," the consultant replied.
"How long before I drop?"
"Two... maybe three days."
"That's all!"
"You have one of the worse cases that I've ever seen."
"Gawd."
"Here, take this tablet."
"Is it cyanide?"
"We're not allowed to give patients cyanide anymore - EU Regulations and all that nonsense."
"What is it?"
"It's senna."
"Senna? I thought you said I have The Big C?"
"You do... constipation."


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

I noticed ebook hippo mails haven't had drabbles lately


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> I noticed ebook hippo mails haven't had drabbles lately


I think it depends on the supply of drabbles that are submitted. They tend to fluctuate a little.

The following drabble may be a tad controversial. As ever, I refer you to my insurance policy - the duck made me do it!

*Lisa has Two Mummies*

Lisa has two mummies. Her real mummy (often referred to as birth mother) is called Buttercup. Her other mummy is called Helga.
Buttercup and Helga are in a steady, committed relationship. Which means they should still be together in a week's time.
Lisa's real daddy is now surplus to requirements.
Helga will soon undergo gender reassignment surgery. Once completed, the operation will enable Helga to legitimately use the men's urinals at motorway service stations. To compliment her first class upgrade in the trouser department, Helga will change her name to Mick, or Dave, or Ged.
Diversity is a wonderful thing.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

Ged!


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> Ged!


LOL!

*Young Blood*

The naturalists group were sat around a table in a room above the town library. There were seven women 'of a certain age'.
"I'm quite excited," said Joan.
"We need some young blood in our little group," added Alice.
There was a knock on the door.
"Come in!" said Dorothy.
A man in his twenties entered, wearing an overcoat that reached to his ankles.
"Take your coat off," said Miriam.
He did, and he was stark naked.
"What the hell are you playing at, young man?"
"You said join out naturists group," he replied.
"I said 'naturalists', you cloth-eared fool."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Come and join us, if you're tough enough...

*The Rules of Book Club*

1st Rule: You do not talk about Book Club.
2nd Rule: You DO NOT talk about Book Club.
3rd Rule: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, that novel is over.
4th Rule: Only one book to a reader.
5th RULE: One book review at a time.
6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes, no dodgy cigarettes, no drabbles, no short stories. Novellas allowed at the discretion of the management.
7th RULE: Reviewing will go on as long as it has to.
8th RULE: If this is your first night at Book Club, you HAVE to prove that you can read.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

It's tough being a kid in today's big bad world...

*Tired*

"What's wrong, Jack?"
"I'm tired, Mum."
"Have a nap then."
"I'm tired of life."
"At 12-years-old? I don't think so."
"Living under a tyrannical regime is really wearing me down."
"Nonsense, anyway we don't have a tyrannical regime in this country, thank goodness."
"And I'm tired of working for the man."
"Jack, you've had a paper round for a fortnight, that's hardly 'working for the man'."
"I need to split this whole scene... kickback for a while... gather my thoughts and stuff."
"Before you split the scene go and tidy your bedroom."
"See what I mean about a tyrannical regime?"


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

A touch of evil... anybody?

*Digital Death*

Raphael was responsible for countless murders, albeit as a character in Digital Death 3 - his favourite computer game.
He held the eight-inch blade up to the light above his head as he admired its clinical simplicity.
On the table in front of him, the bindings bit deep into nineteen-year-old Lucy's wrists and ankles.
He ran the tip of the knife blade in a straight line from her throat to her navel without drawing blood.
Lucy's body recoiled.
Screams in Dolby 5.1 Surround Sound were all well and good, but it was now time for Raphael to experience the real thing...


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Looks like my drabble has been made into a movie. Can't wait until my percentage of the takings hit my bank account! 

*Suffragette*

"Pfft!" said Samantha.
"Let me guess, homework?" Her mother said.
"I've got to write an essay for college about some woman with a dopey name."
"Dopey name?"
"Yeah, Emmeline Pankhurst."
"The suffragette?"
"Yeah! You've head of her?"
"Of course. She was instrumental in securing the vote for women in this country."
"Big deal."
"Yes, Samantha, a very 'big deal' actually. She was imprisoned, and prisons were brutal in those days, we have a lot to thank women like her for."
"Whatever."
"Which reminds me, the local elections are next week, you will vote, won't you?"
"Nah, I can't be arsed."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Daughters? They're always a worry...

*Chaste No More*

She was the fairest maiden in the kingdom, nineteen summers' old, the king's daughter, and desired by many.
"Sorted!" said the queen's hand maiden, "your daughter has been fitted with the chastity belt and this is the only key." She handed it to the king.
The king would be gone for six months.
"Nooooo!" the king wailed on his return. "How could this have happened? My daughter is with child, this is surely the work of the devil himself - or black magic."
"Actually," said the court jester, "it is neither - the town locksmith got your daughter up the spout."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Would you risk it... ?

*The Reviewer*

"I'd like to review your new book," she said.
"What are your credentials?" I said.
"I'm an Amazon Top 100 reviewer, I will also put the review on my blog, which gets 50k-plus hits a week - every week. There are my Twitter and Facebook pages too."
"Hmm... I'm kinda low profile. That's a lot of exposure and you might not like my book."
"Then again, I might. You would also get a 5 star, gold badge for your author website."
"I would!"
"Sure, if your book deserved one."
"Hmm."
"So, are you going to send me a review copy?"
"Nah."


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

lol


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> lol


Thank you!

*Flexi Time*

"Hayley, what type of work are you looking for?"
"Stuff."
"Can you elaborate?"
"Work stuff."
"In your previous position you were an admin assistant, what did that involve?"
"Admin stuff."
"Okayyy, moving on. I'll just see if we have a job reference number for 'stuff'. Blimey! Apparently we do: 465. I'll just input that and... three vacancies. Stuffing turkeys?"
"Eww! No."
"Stuffing mattresses?"
"My fella usually stuffs me on my mattress."
"Yes, quite. Number three: reception duties, must be flexible. Are you flexible, Hayley?"
"Yeah, I did gymnastics in school, my fella is always bending me over something or other."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*The Killer*

"Murderer!" said ten-year-old Ian.
"I... I didn't mean to... It just happened," said nine-year-old Luke.
Ian scrutinised the victim. "Why, Luke? Why?"
"I don't know... I... I just--"
"Just what?"
"I just didn't think."
"And now you've taken a life."
"It... It was an accident, okay?"
"Luke, I was watching you, it was no accident."
Luke lowered his head and looked at the floor.
"Let's go, before someone finds the body," said Ian, prising a rolled-up magazine out of Luke's hand.
A fly lay motionless on the window ledge - all six legs in the air.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Chilli
*
"I'd like to speak to the manager, please."
"Um, hold on, I'll get him for you."
"Hi! I'm the store manager."
"Chilli."
"What?"
"Chilli! It's in everything! Chilli marmalade, chilli ice cream, chilli baby formula, chilli hair conditioner, chilli wine, chilli jelly, chilli muesli, chilli washing powder, chilli toilet cleaner, chilli custard, chilli toothpaste, chilli butter, yada yada, freakin' yada."
"People like chilli."
"We don't have any bloody choice!"
"That's not my fault, sir."
"Do you have one item in this store that doesn't contain chilli?"
"I don't think there's any chilli in our petrol... yet."
"Give me freakin' strength!"


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*The Futility of Lust*

Wow! I've just seen the most wonderful creature at the top of this hill (I'm at the bottom).
Okay, she's no oil painting, but there's just something about her. I've got to meet her.
I mosey on up the hill.
Ten years later and I'm still only halfway up.
I can see her much clearer now.
She's withered on the vine a bit.
I think I'll head back down the hill.
Another ten years and I'm at the bottom of the hill again.
I've just wasted twenty years on a female! I never learn.
I hate being a bastard tortoise!


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Zombies*

The zombies are everywhere now. There's no escape.
Every country. Every city. Every street.
Automatons. Obsessed. Possessed.
Only the very young are free of the curse.
"I'm here, Mummy? Daddy?" There's no reply.
Hordes of children abandoned at the gates of technology.
The forgotten digital orphans. The true living dead.
21st century kids. Ignored. Bored. Flawed.
They too will fall prey to the saviour.
The zombies prod... and stroke... and scroll... and gabble.
Their devotion is all-consuming. They worship without question.
Who is their hollow God? Their false Idol? Their attention thief?
Any mobile phone you care to mention.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*High-Vis*

"Mabel, stop curtain twitching and come away from the window," said George.
"There's something going on next door," said Mabel.
"Like what?"
"It must be something important, there are various people milling around in high-vis waistcoats."
"The days when a high-vis waistcoat signified somebody of importance are long gone, Mabel. Everybody and their dog are wearing one."
"Oh my god! They're carrying Mr Jones out on a stretcher and he's covered in blood."
"Is he dead?"
"He's not moving."
"He's not wearing a high-vis waistcoat, is he?"
"Actually, he is."
"I'd say he got what was coming to him then."


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

So true.



Scribbler said:


> *Zombies*
> 
> The zombies are everywhere now. There's no escape.
> Every country. Every city. Every street.
> ...


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> So true.


Technology improves our lives. Allegedly. 

*Horoscopes*

Greg flicked through the newspaper and stopped at the daily horoscopes.
Aries: A short journey will lead to you making a small wager. Today is your lucky day, a lucrative day that will end with a big surprise!
The bookies! That could be the small wager! Greg grabbed his coat.
Arriving at the bookies, he scanned the form for the next race - 'Greg's Windfall' was 800-1! He put fifty quid on the nose. The horse romped home.
As Greg was leaving with his wad of notes, the sign above the bookies fell off the wall, killing him stone dead.


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## Doril (Nov 2, 2013)

Scribbler said:


> Hi, Michael!
> 
> I've joined Drablr also, here's one of mine:
> 
> ...


I LOVE THIS!!


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Doril said:


> I LOVE THIS!!


Thank you!


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Bad News for Henry*

"Testicular cancer," he said. "Inoperable."
Suddenly, everything in my world was out of focus. I turned around without saying anything to him and walked out of the room. I made my way along the corridor and stopped just before the exit. There was nobody about so I lit a cigarette and kicked my shoe repeatedly against the silver waste bin. 
'Inoperable'. The word ricocheted around inside my head.
"Tough sh*t, Henry, everybody's got to go sometime," I said to my daughter's tortoise as I dropped him into the bin at the vets and headed towards the pet shop in town.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Valentine's Day Off*

Jill prodded the calendar on the back of her kitchen door. "February the 14th today - Valentine's!"
"Is it?" said Andy.
"Six months since we first met."
"Doesn't seem that long."
"I suppose you haven't got me a card?"
"Er, no," said Andy.
"A bouquet of roses?"
"No."
"Something sparkly... and expensive?"
"I don't do sparkly and expensive."
"An exotic holiday? The Maldives, perhaps?"
"Certainly not."
"So you haven't got me anything, not even a measly bloody card?"
"Listen, luv. I'm just your plumber. All I want to do is fix this leaking tap and get the hell out of here."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Don't forget Michael's Festival of Drabbles, folks! It's currently live on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/events/375605662648575/395767067299101/

*Her First Time*

"Is this your first time, Mrs Smith?"
"Yes, it's my first time."
"Don't worry, everything will be fine."
"It's alright for you, you're a man."
"Relax, deep breaths... and push."
"Urrrrggghh."
"And again."
"Urrrrggghh."
"Good, more deep breaths now."
"This isn't easy."
"Focus, you can do it."
"I feel faint."
"Just relax, nearly there."
"And puuussshh."
"Urrrrggghh."
"Okay, not long now."
"I don't think I can go on, it's too much."
"Keep breathing, come on now, deeeep breaths."
"Urrrrggghh."
The car's engine burst into life.
"Thanks for the push, Mrs Smith, I'll just about get to work on time."


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)




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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


>


Glad you liked it, geronl!

*Not Quite J.K. Rowling*

Final draft completed: Check.
Professionally proofread and edited: Check.
Formatted for umpteen different versions of the Kindle: Check.
Cover image and illustrations by Britain's premier illustrator Salmonella Snodgrass: Check.
Killer blurb completed: Check.
Launch date tweeted, facebooked and approximately 100 book bloggers/reviewers sent a review copy: Check.
Uploaded to Amazon: Check.
Clicked 'save and publish' button: Check.
Phew! Now I just have to wait 24 hours or so...
And there it is! Whoopee! My first book sitting proudly on the Amazon virtual bookshelves: 101 Things You Can do With a Dead Budgie.
I wonder if it will be a bestseller?


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Life can be quite complicated when you are young...

*Gay Blade*

"Mum, we were discussing homosexuality in a school lesson today and I'm a bit confused."
"What about, Ben?"
"Well... gay means homosexual, right?"
"Correct."
"But in this book I'm reading the swashbuckling hero is a 'gay blade' - does that mean he isn't homosexual, but his rapier is?"
"Erm, no. 'Gay blade' means he's dashing."
"So gay doesn't always mean homosexual?"
"No. Homosexual means homosexual, but gay can mean a number of different things, including homosexual."
"If there's homophobic, is there... gayophobic?"
"There's no such word as gayophobic."
"Why are things always so complicated?"
"Because that's what adults do best."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

Life can also be extremely brutal...

*Birthday Girl
*
It was Aliyah's tenth birthday. Her mother was leading her through the winding alleys of the town's myriad dilapidated shacks. They slipped into a rusting hovel, three women were waiting inside. Sensing her approaching fate, Aliyah began to cry. The eldest woman produced a razor blade, as the other two women forced her to the floor. They tied strips of material around her ankles to hold her legs apart. Excruciating pain engulfed Aliyah's young body. The mutilation continued, as her blood flowed to the sounds of the two wailing women holding her. It was a birthday Aliyah would never forget.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

Sadly, it could now be anywhere.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> Sadly, it could now be anywhere.


Very true, I'm afraid.

*The Simple Life*

"Mom, I've got to stand in front of my whole class tomorrow and tell them what you do for a living. So what do I say?"
"Tell them I'm an author."
"They'll want to know why you write."
"Tell them that the voices in my head are different characters and they feature in my novels."
"Aren't people who have voices in their head usually in some sort of restraining harness?"
"I suppose, but maybe they don't write bestselling novels."
"I'll probably tell them you're a hooker."
"A hooker! Why?"
"Trust me, Mom. It'll make life a lot simpler for me."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*The Telephone Call*

"Hi, can I speak to Jennifer?" the caller said to me.
"You've just missed her. She's popped out to the shops for something."
"Are you sure she's out?"
"I'm positive," I said.
"You know who this is, don't you?"
"Actually, I don't."
"You don't recognise my voice?"
"Can't say that I do."
"Listen, will you just put Jennifer on, I know she's there," said the increasingly agitated caller.
"You don't know anything, and if you call again I'll report you to the police."
"Police?! You buffoon!" she said, slamming the phone down.
Mother-in-laws, eh? What are they like!


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

lol


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> lol


Glad you enjoyed it!

*Ziggurat*

My daddy is a bricklayer. He's always building weird stuff in our garden, 'projects' he calls them. Nobody sees them as we live in the country, surrounded by trees on all sides. Two years ago, he started his latest project, 'a present for Mummy' he whispered to me - 'a stairway to heaven'. Every weekend he worked, brick by brick, step by step, until one afternoon when he said to the family, 'I've finished'. The steps reached all the way to the sky. We watched Mummy as she climbed the steps and disappeared into the clouds. We never saw her again.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

A couple of drabbles appear to have fallen off the end of this thread, oh dear. I'll try another...

*Closer than Close*

"Jim, do you use disposable razors?" said Harry.
"I do. Can't stand electric razors, they bring me out in a rash."
"I've got the latest forty-five blade disposable, closest shave I've ever had."
"Forty-five blades! Mine's a twenty blade razor."
"Only twenty blades? Your chin must rougher than a badger's arse."
"It's not that bad," said Jim.
Harry began to flick through his newspaper. "Nooo!" he said.
"What's wrong?" said Jim.
"A rival manufacturer's advertising a fifty blade disposable - I've got to get one!"
"I presume your wife likes a smooth chin?"
"She's not fussed, but yours does."


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## harker.roland (Sep 13, 2014)

Scribbler said:


> A couple of drabbles appear to have fallen off the end of this thread, oh dear. I'll try another...
> 
> *Closer than Close*
> 
> ...


ROFL


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

harker.roland said:


> ROFL


Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

*Life in the Fast Lane*

Liz and her friends were dancing at the edge of the dance floor.
A sharp-looking guy approached and asked Liz to dance.
They moved to the centre of the floor.
Liz fluffed up her feathers and shimmied for all she was worth.
"You're a nice mover," said John. "Do you fancy coming back to my place for a bunk up?"
"Blimey, you don't waste any time."
"I like to grab life by the horns. So, are you interested?"
"I suppose, I'll just tell the girls that I've pulled."
John, aged 93, led Liz, aged 87, out of the dance hall.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Bag for Life*

"Five pence! Five pence for a bleedin' plastic carrier bag!" said Jim, incensed.
"Yep," said the checkout girl.
"But they're free in Tesco."
"Not any more, it's one of those EU Directive or UK Government thingies. You know, saving the environment."
"Bloody diktats, is there nothing sacred that they won't interfere with?"
"Apparently not. So, how many bags do you want?"
"Um, five."
"There you go," said the checkout girl.
"Thanks for those, luv."
"You could save yourself a lot of grief by getting a bag for life."
"I've already got one, I've been married to her for thirty years."


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

lol


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> lol


Glad you liked it! 

*Homework... and Stuff*

"Adam, have you done your homework yet?"
"Duh! I've got zombies to kill, Mum."
"Playing computer games won't get you a decent job like your father has."
"He's a grease monkey."
"He's a technician!"
"Mum, he's a mechanic, a spanner jockey. 'Technician' is just a sexy version of mechanic."
"Well, the 'grease monkey' helps to keep a roof over all of our heads."
"Whatever."
"How are you going to afford a nice house when you're old enough, Adam?"
"I'll do what all the other people do who live in the best houses around here."
"And what's that then?"
"Sell drugs."


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Puppy Love*

"Mum, can we have a puppy for Christmas? Katie's just got one and it's adorable."
"No, absolutely not! I'm not spending my Christmas cleaning up after a puppy. I'll have enough on my plate looking after the family."
"I'll do it."
"Emily, you won't even eat a rogue garden pea that has fallen off your fork onto the kitchen table."
"Eww! Gross!"
"So you're not going to scoop puppy poop, are you?"
"Um, no."
"That's probably your father at the front door, he forgot his key this morning, let him in, please."
"Yayyyy! Dad's brought a puppy with him!"
"Nooo!"


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

lol x 2


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> lol x 2


Thank you!

A couple of drabbles for today. First up is a naughty one and secondly, another festive offering.

*There is Nothing Like a Dame*

"Seriously, what's going on with Helen Mirren?" said Jim.
"I dunno, since she got that damehood she's gone from classy to sassy," said Harry.
"I don't know about sassy, she's certainly got a mouth on her like a fishwife these days."
"Pfft! Ain't that the truth. It doesn't seem to bother L'Oréal though."
"What have they got to do with it?"
"She's a 'face' for their publicity stuff. I think she's also had a hand in re-writing their classic slogan too, it's now got the new Mirren touch to it."
"How does it go?"
"L'Oréal - Because You're F*cking Worth It."

*Sinister Snowman*

Seven-year-old Lucy got out of bed and crept across her room to the window. It was 3:00 am and she didn't want to wake her parents. She pulled one of the curtains open, just enough to see the front garden. He was still there. The snowman she had built with Jessica and Amy that afternoon. Jess had given him a stubby Chantenay carrot for a nose. Amy had used some bark chippings to make a toothy smile, but before they could give him eyes, it had started to snow - heavily. Now, he had eyes... and they were watching Lucy.


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)

yikes. nice.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


> yikes. nice.


Many thanks, geronl. Best wishes to you and everybody else on the forum for Christmas.

Another two...

*Santa Clause
*
"All out, brothers!" said the shop steward elf at the North Pole.
The elves stopped wrapping presents.
"What's going on!" said Santa.
"Clause 15 of our contract says, 'Elves deserve reward for their contribution'.
"What will it take to get you all back to work?"
"Reinstate the porn channel," said the shop steward, a Woodbine 
dangling precariously out of the side of his gob.
"Consider it done," said Santa.
There was a collective "Whoot!" from the elves.
As Santa set off for the night shift, the elves settled down to watch 70s skin 
flick classic, Debbie Does the North Pole.

*Women Drivers*

I knew it was a mistake to let the wife drive.
We'd only traveled about 8 metres when she smacked into somebody.
Then somebody smacked into us from behind, and somebody smacked into the somebody who had smacked into us. Jeez.
In the space of about 45 seconds we were part of a 12 car pile-up.
Naturally, a group of rubber-neckers appeared from nowhere. They seemed bemused, like they'd seen it all before.
The wife looked at me sheepishly. 'Do you think this will affect my insurance policy?' she said.
'I doubt it, luv, they're only dodgem cars,' I replied.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*Toy Story*

Following dramatically falling sales, Eddie Rosco, marketing genius and enfant terrible, had been tasked with making Barbie a global best seller again.
Eddie entered the CEO's office. "I sanctioned a production run of five million new Barbie dolls and our distribution jockeys are ready to roll."
"Five million! This Barbie better be good or we're toast," said the CEO. "Do I get to see her?"
Eddie took something out of his jacket pocket and tossed it to the CEO.
"What the hell is this!" said the CEO.
"Our new best seller - Barbie in a burka."
"We're screwed!" said the CEO.


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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

*The Mexican*

He slinked into town one balmy July afternoon.
The desert sand filled every vacant wrinkle on his face.
He hadn't eaten for three days.
He licked his dry, cracked lips.
His legs felt weak.
His body felt weak.
A comfortable bed was a distant memory.
People pointed.
Tongues wagged.
The stranger kept walking.
No familiar faces.
No friendly faces.
Twenty miles to the next town.
A mangy mongrel looked him up and down.
He returned the disdain.
He turned a corner.
And then...
A young girl patted his head.
"Mum, look at this poor Chihuahua, can we take him home?"


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## geronl (May 7, 2015)




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## Scribbler (Apr 27, 2012)

geronl said:


>


Thanks! A happy New Year to you and everybody on the forum.

*New Year's Resolution*

"So, hubs, have you made any New Year resolutions yet?"
"Just the one."
"A new car, is it? I know you've been promising yourself one for a few months now."
"Maybe next year."
"A widescreen TV with a surround sound speaker system?"
"Probably not."
"I've got it! A new computer?"
"Nope. But I am going to replace something with a newer model."
"Hmm, is it mechanical or electrical?"
"Neither. It's more... kind of... organic."
"Organic? Now I'm intrigued."
"I'll give you a clue. It starts with a 'w' and ends with an 'e'."
"I can't think of anything."
"Wife."
"WHAT!"


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

To celebrate Valentine's Day here's one of my favourite drabbles (a 100 word story) that suits the occasion 










A Marriage Made In...

Hell. You know the place. Lakes of burning sulphur. Torture pits filled with the wailing of the damned. Not the place you'd expect to fall in love. But I did.

Our eyes met across the inferno. It was love at first sight, or at least first scream. The demons didn't approve at first, they tried to quench our love with fire and brimstone.

We endured and in the end they came round.

Lucifer himself even officiated at our wedding. Love, honour and obey, two of those things are welcome here.

But 'till death do us part could be a problem.

-

You can discover some of my other drabbles here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

A new drabble of mine has been posted in the Book Hippo daily newsletter - check out the daily Kindle bargains here: bookhippo.uk

You can check out some of my other drabbles here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html

The Thing With No Name

What a power it is to name a thing. With a simple word or phrase, you identify it and so can know its nature and divine its purpose.

What then when you encounter something that has no name? More than that, it can have no name.
To look at it is to feel a twist in your sanity and compounding your terror. You don't know that it is a thing at all, only that this isn't something you can flee from, fight, or bargain with.

What do you do when all that you know is that it must be endured?


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

Here's a new drabble (100 word story) from me:









By William Sadler II - Pyms Gallery, Public Domain

The Charge

Hooves pounded the frost hardened ground, laboured breath steamed through the air. The array of red clad infantry fired and instantly wreathed in smoke. Bullets whistled passed my ears. A horse screamed and collapsed, its rider flung afar.

Another volley crashed against us, but we're almost there. A cannon booms, dirt and smoke choked my mouth. I heard the enemy's cries now and saw their dirt streaked faces. My mount's hooves smashed into skull and with a slash of the sabre we broke through the first rank.

Only to see another line of red and another volley of rifle fire.

You can discover some of my other drabbles here:

http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html


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## TechnoHippy (Feb 22, 2013)

*Awakening*

The rank stench of decay pervades the shifting mist. I glimpse vague forms, their movement creeping ever closer. Loathsome whispers torment my hearing with a hunger eager for satisfaction. Terror chokes me into silence, my scream a lump in my throat.

For the briefest moment their majestic horror is revealed. I behold creatures ancient while our universe was still young. The scream inside bursts free&#8230;

In a panic I awaken, sweat clammy on my skin. The relief is orgasmic as the fear fades. It returns in a heartbeat with the smell of corruption, and a shadow moves in the gloom.

Check out some of my other drabbles here: http://thecultofme.blogspot.co.uk/p/100-word-stories.html


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