# Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse - sci-fi/horror!



## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

* Read the opening story free here:
http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewshortstory.asp?AuthorID=127228

Got your nightlight on?

A man journeys with a pregnant stranger, while unseen aliens deal out punishment from above.
A phone call in the middle of the night reminds someone of a chilling mission.
A priest's skin oozes a healing elixir.

Are your blankets pulled up tight?

A self-absorbed husband monitors the end of his existence over the internet.
A teenager digs through a deep crust of waste and bone to win his freedom.
A school field trip reveals a disturbing method for protecting our children.

Are all your doors locked?

If so, then perhaps you're ready for Joel Arnold's 'Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse.'

Armchair Interviews:
"Arnold has a deft touch with horror that will leave a chill in your spine, but without the violence and gore of much modern horror. The stories remind me of Ray Bradbury at his darkest with their ability to play on the difference between what we know might happen and what we want to happen. These are complex tales with layers below the surface enjoyment of a story well written."

D.L. Russell, editor of Strange, Weird & Wonderful Magazine:
"Joel Arnold is the real deal. He elicits a subtle element of terror and justice through his writing, delivered without a heavy hand. His exceptional imagery effects readers in a way that leaves them chilled and disturbed; causing the kind of behavior that will leave friends asking "what's bothering you," for days afterwards."











Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse (Kindle edition)









And for those in the UK:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bedtime-Stories-for-the-Apocalypse/dp/B003K16U0U


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## Ann in Arlington (Oct 27, 2008)

Hi Joel,

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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

I set up a page on Author's Den. You can see it here:

http://www.authorsden.com/joelarnold

Has anyone else done this, and have you noticed results from it?

Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse (Kindle edition): $1.99



















Joel Arnold, author of Fetal Position and Other Stories, Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse, Bait and Other Stories, and The Siege.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

My missed opportunity;

I saw a guy reading from a Kindle - and I SHOULD'VE approached him and told him about my books! But I chickened out.

_Must grow a pair...must grow a pair..._

Well, here's to next time!



Joel Arnold


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

So far, this title has been my best seller, outselling all my others combined at a rate of 2 to 1. I have no idea why.

Joel Arnold


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## r0b0d0c (Feb 16, 2009)

Sounds intriguing! 

How many pages total?


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

r0b0d0c said:


> Sounds intriguing!
> 
> How many pages total?


I'm never sure how to figure page count for the Kindle! But it's around 23,000 words, and around 100 manuscript pages.

Joel Arnold


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Aside from a weekly bump, I'd like to invite you to my blog!

http://joelarnold.livejournal.com

Thanks for checking it out!

Joel Arnold


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Now I feel official - I get an Amazon Author's page!

http://www.amazon.com/Joel-Arnold/e/B003SECIGY/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1277151498&sr=1-2-ent

Joel Arnold


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

I'll be reading a selection or two from this collection at Minnesota's largest speculative fiction conference, CONvergence, on Sunday morning at 9:30 am. If anyone else is going to this wonderful con, stop over and see me!

Joel


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish (Feb 1, 2010)

Just finished this, and hope to have my review out on Amazon soon.

Simply put, these are unbelievably good short stories. The subject matters tend to be a little...pessimistic, and certainly not hopeful for the future. Of course, with the book's title, this shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. Wonderful. And the first story, Shiners, ranks up there was one of few times I've felt my jaw drop at an ending. Seriously. WTF Joel?

David Dalglish


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Half-Orc said:


> Just finished this, and hope to have my review out on Amazon soon.
> 
> Simply put, these are unbelievably good short stories. The subject matters tend to be a little...pessimistic, and certainly not hopeful for the future. Of course, with the book's title, this shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. Wonderful. And the first story, Shiners, ranks up there was one of few times I've felt my jaw drop at an ending. Seriously. WTF Joel?
> 
> David Dalglish


Thanks so much, David! You seriously made my week! Glad you enjoyed it.

Joel


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish (Feb 1, 2010)

So remember now, when you search for Joel Arnold on Google, your count should be moving upward, not downward. It goes downward, you tell me, alright?  

David Dalglish


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Half-Orc said:


> So remember now, when you search for Joel Arnold on Google, your count should be moving upward, not downward. It goes downward, you tell me, alright?
> 
> David Dalglish


I'll try - as long as there's still anyone left!

Joel


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

This collection had a great day yesterday - it was mentioned on http://ireaderreview.com/2010/07/08/looking-at-free-books-and-deals-from-all-over-the-net and over the course of 24 hours, I sold 24 copies! That is by far the most I've sold in a single day. So thank you, ireaderreview.com!

Joel


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish (Feb 1, 2010)

Congratz man, you've earned it.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Half-Orc said:


> Congratz man, you've earned it.


Thanks, David. By the way, I recently started reading The Weight of Blood and I'm enjoying it! My family and I are taking a little vacation here soon, so I'll have some time to really dive into it.

Joel


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish (Feb 1, 2010)

Joel Arnold said:


> Thanks, David. By the way, I recently started reading The Weight of Blood and I'm enjoying it! My family and I are taking a little vacation here soon, so I'll have some time to really dive into it.
> 
> Joel


 

Out of curiosity, did you contact that Kindle website, or did they find out about you on their own?


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Half-Orc said:


> Out of curiosity, did you contact that Kindle website, or did they find out about you on their own?


They actually found out about my book on their own. I had noticed the sudden increase in sales, so Googled Bedtime Stories, and found that they were the only site that gave it a mention in the last few days, so I put two and two together... 

Joel


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

A Sunday morning bump!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Let's see...

Canned goods? Check.
Lots of batteries? Check.
Bottled water? Check.
Geiger counter? Check.
Kindle? Check.
Bedtime stories? Ahem - bedtime stories?

You're not truly ready for the apocalypse unless you've got your *Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse*!

Joel Arnold


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Happy Monday, folks! Don't forget your hazmat suit!

Joel


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Another Monday, another Apocalypse!

Joel


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## Michael Crane (Jul 22, 2010)

Love the title.  May have to check this one out.  Man, my TBR list is getting out of control, and I have you trouble-makers to thank for that.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

michael_crane said:


> Love the title. May have to check this one out. Man, my TBR list is getting out of control, and I have you trouble-makers to thank for that.


Thanks, Michael - I know what you mean about your TBR list - mine is getting out of control, too!
Joel


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

This collection makes the perfect gift for:

Birthdays
Mother's Days
Alien Invasions
Father's Days
Zombie takeovers
Christmases
2012s
National eBook Months
Releasing of the Kraakens

...just about any time, really!


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## Harry Shannon (Jul 30, 2010)

On me way to check it out, Joel. I'm going to have to live to be 120 just to catch up on my reading.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Harry Shannon said:


> On me way to check it out, Joel. I'm going to have to live to be 120 just to catch up on my reading.


Thanks, Harry - I know what you mean by catching up on reading. Especially now, when it's so easy and fun to try new reads at cheap prices! I have OCD - One-Click Disorder!


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## David &#039;Half-Orc&#039; Dalglish (Feb 1, 2010)

I bought this book for when I released my Kraaken, ho ho!

Seriously, though, good reads. And disturbing. You wouldn't think so, given how cuddly and happy Joel looks like in his picture here.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Half-Orc said:


> Seriously, though, good reads. And disturbing. You wouldn't think so, given how cuddly and happy Joel looks like in his picture here.


That's how I lure in my victims readers!


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## Rob Alex (Jul 6, 2010)

Good luck to you Joel sounds like an interesting book.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Zob said:


> Good luck to you Joel sounds like an interesting book.


Thank you, Zob!


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## Michael Crane (Jul 22, 2010)

Joel Arnold said:


> I set up a page on Author's Den. You can see it here:
> 
> http://www.authorsden.com/joelarnold
> 
> Has anyone else done this, and have you noticed results from it?


I set a page up for myself, and I've been getting some nice hits from it. Don't know if people will buy my books because of it, but I figure it can't hurt! BTW, I reviewed "Groundskeeper Hank." Great story!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Thanks, Michael! 
Authors Den has been bringing a nice number of hits - like you, I'm not sure if it's resulting in sales, but it's definitely another way to get eyes on our books!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

The powers that be at Amazon have discounted this to only 1.79! I hope you'll take advantage.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

This collection of apocalypses both literal and figurative is still at the discounted price of $1.79!

Why not curl up with it over Labor Day weekend?


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

School has started for many kids, my own included. I think it's time for a field trip to the ranch, where they'll learn about branding and how even in this technological age, some of the old ways still work best.

Or you can just read the story _Branding Day_, included in this collection!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

I'm digging into the idea of turning the story "Burrow" from this collection into a YA novel. I just have to figure out if the plot will hold up to novel length, or if it will cave in too soon.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Apocalypses come in all shapes and sizes - from your typical nuclear/zombie invasion/meteor-smashing-into-earth apocalypses to your smaller ones - apocalypses of the heart and mind. Sometimes we make apocalyptic decisions. Sometimes when someone we love leaves us, we feel an emotional apocalypse. 

Have you ever felt like the world as you know it was falling in around you? When was the last time you felt an apocalypse?


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Hey - it's banned book week! What's your favorite banned book?


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Still only 1.79!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

It's time to get your apocalypse on! 

Okay, I'm not really sure what that means, but hey...


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

More Halloween compatible stories to snuggle up with before bed!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Hey, head on over to:

http://twoendsofthepen.blogspot.com/2010/11/book-giveaway-bedtime-stories-by-joel.html

to enter a contest to win a hard copy of Bedtime Stories, as well as a limited edition chapbook!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Read the entire opening story for free here:

http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewshortstory.asp?AuthorID=127228


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Apocalypse how?
Apocalypse Now?
Apocalypse cow?

Whatever. Just be ready for it with a book of bedtime stories!


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## Keith Blenman (May 31, 2009)

I'm not letting myself buy any more books until I read the dozen or so sitting on my Kindle that I haven't gotten to yet, but I did get a sample just so I don't forget about this. Looking forward to it!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Keith Blenman said:


> I'm not letting myself buy any more books until I read the dozen or so sitting on my Kindle that I haven't gotten to yet, but I did get a sample just so I don't forget about this. Looking forward to it!


Thanks, Keith! Hope you enjoy it.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

I received two nice reviews over at The Scattering blog last week!

A short one:

http://thescattering.wordpress.com/2010/11/21/verdict-bedtime-stories-for-the-apocalypse-by-joel-arnold

A bit longer one:

http://thescattering.wordpress.com/2010/11/21/scary-good-reading-review-bedtime-stories-for-the-apocalypse

Thanks for looking!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Tuesday night - perfect night for an apocalyptic read!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Received another nice 5-star review for this collection! Check it out on Amazon's page for this title.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Come on down with your new Kindle and fill it up with Bedtime Stories!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Happy New Year! Check out the reviews of this collection on its Amazon page when you get a chance.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Little known fact about the Mayan calendar - it featured half-naked pictures of the sun god Ah Kinchil - Hottie of the Year.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

*Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse*; high in good cholesterol, low in bad cholesterol. *

* this statement has not been confirmed by the FDA (nor will it ever be...)


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse; it's what's for dinner! (But I advise adding some fruit and vegetables. And protein. Don't forget the protein! And maybe a multi-vitamin to cap it all off? Or a shot of whiskey??)


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Another nice night to curl up with a few Bedtime Stories...


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Sometimes a Monday can _feel_ like an apocalypse!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

While I hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day, for those who didn't, you can always console yourself with some *Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse*...


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

*Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse* - now with less sugar!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

For those in the UK, you can find *Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse* here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bedtime-Stories-for-the-Apocalypse/dp/B003K16U0U


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

This is participating in the *Read an Ebook Week* promo over at Smashwords and can be had for 50% through March 12th, 2011:

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/16862

Use coupon code *RAE50* on checkout.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

This was on Daily Cheap Reads last night:

http://dailycheapreads.com/2011/03/24/bedtime-stories-for-the-apocalypse-horror-for-1-99


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

I thought this was a pretty funny take on the cover of this collection:

http://www.judgingabookbyitscover.com/2011/03/bedtime-stories-for-the-apocalypse-by-joel-arnold


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Well, I heard that the rapture is coming April 21st. Or is it May 21st? Either way, if it doesn't come by then, there's always the Mayan 2012 deal. So will you be ready with your Bedtime Stories?


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Get your apocalypse on with *Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse*!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Feeling sleepy? Want something to..._push you over the edge?_

How about a few Bedtime Stories?


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

These are the kind of bedtime stories that will leave you wide awake.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Happy Wednesday! May your apocalypses be few and far between.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Monday - the start of a new week (well, okay - maybe that's Sunday) but still...

Try to have a good one!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Check out my brand new blog, as well as my newest post:

http://authorjoelarnold.blogspot.com/2011/06/on-stephen-king.html


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Bleekness said:


> Just read your blog entry there Joel, and I agree... I might not like King's last few offerings (I still haven't read _Under the Dome_) but, he's the still the king to me.


I haven't liked all of his novels, either (could not get into The Tommyknockers) but yeah - for the most part, he's top-notch.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

50% off at Smashwords through July!

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/16862

Use coupon code SSW50 at checkout!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

What's your favorite apocalyptic fiction?


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Happy Monday!


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## Stephen_Melling (Jun 26, 2011)

Your story descriptions have barbs! It's on my dl list, Joel.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Kelvecion said:


> Your story descriptions have barbs! It's on my dl list, Joel.


Hey, thanks!
Joel


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

*Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse* - it's what's for dinner!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

These bedtime stories are not for children!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Bedtime Stories sold its 500th copy last night!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

It's time for *Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse*!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Come on down and read a sample!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

These particular bedtime stories might just make it _harder_ to get to sleep!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

I watched a show about zombie apocalypses last night on the History channel. A neat show, but...on the _History_ channel??


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

It's 11-11-11 - a perfect day to read _Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse_!


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## Steverino (Jan 5, 2011)

Joel Arnold said:


> Let's see...
> 
> Canned goods? Check.
> Lots of batteries? Check.
> ...


Best pitch ever.

Congrats on 500 copies!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Steverino said:


> Best pitch ever.
> 
> Congrats on 500 copies!


Thanks, Steverino!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Get your Bedtime Stories..._before it's too late!_


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Is this collection as important as the Mayan calendar in predicting the apocalypse? 

Um - probably not...

But still...come on. It's fiction!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Apocalypse _this_, dude!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Nearly 2012...I hope it brings better/more realistic special effects than the movie *2012*!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

2012 - the Year of the Apocalypse. Or - at least the year of making money off of the apocalypse...


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

You want bedtime stories? We got bedtime stories!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Anytime is a good time for Bedtime Stories!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Working on stories for Bedtime Stories for the Apocalypse II. If you want to read a free story from the first one, check it out here:

http://authorjoelarnold.blogspot.com/p/free-story-of-month.html


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

One more away from selling #600 for this collection! Who will the lucky buyer be?


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Reached the 600 mark! Thanks everyone. Now onto 700!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Cool off with some sci-fi and horror!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Ooohh - finally watching season 6 of Dexter - very apocalyptic plot-line!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Time to get your apocalypse on!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Keep your eye out for a sequel to this collection, coming soon!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Feeling sleepy? These bedtime stories should wake you up!


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## JRWoodward (Apr 26, 2011)

The Apocalypse will be too noisy for reading.


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

JRWoodward said:


> The Apocalypse will be too noisy for reading.


Perhaps I should supply special apocalypse-proof earplugs!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Now on sale for 99-cents!


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## thedavebright (Sep 8, 2012)

Can't complain about .99


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

thedavebright said:


> Can't complain about .99


Nope!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Get yer bedtime stories! Get yer bedtime stories here!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Hey, hey, hey - best get your Bedtime Stories before it's too late!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Be prepared for this Friday with this collection!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Yes, we survived this non-event! Let's celebrate by reading...about the apocalypse!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

The Mayans say, "Whoops!"


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Check it out!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Rock a'bye baby
In the tree top
When the wind blows
The cradle will...oh my God, it's a giant meteor!!!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

An overflowing handful of stories!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Spring is in the apocalyptic air!


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## SarahNicole (Apr 4, 2013)

Hello!

You win. Your summary won me over, and I bought your book. I'll provide a review when I've finished .

Sarah Nicole


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

SarahNicole said:


> Hello!
> 
> You win. Your summary won me over, and I bought your book. I'll provide a review when I've finished .
> 
> Sarah Nicole


Thank you, Sarah!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Hey, hey, hey -- have a great weekend!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Take a peek!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Sleepy? Time for Bedtime Stories!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

"Mama?"
"Yes, dear?"
"Please tell me a bedtime story."
"Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Little Red Riding Hood?"
"Nah - something apocalyptic."
....


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Prepare yourself for the...need to read!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Have a great weekend!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Happy Monday!(?)


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

Hope you all had a happy and safe Thanksgiving!


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## Joel Arnold (May 3, 2010)

It's a snowy Monday here in Minnesota!


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